Last night was softtip dart league night. We were playing Danny’s Bar in Hannam-dong. Although we were playing at Jay Bar because Danny’s no longer has an electronic dart board (having replaced it with a baby grand piano). Talk about extreme makeovers.

Anyhoo, Hannam is the next village over from Itaewon, but it is world’s away in terms of atmosphere. Not nearly as many foreigners for example. Savvy readers will remember that I technically live in Hannam, although I am several blocks away from the business district. I actually only rarely go there which is a shame because it is a nice change of pace.

So, the softip league differs from the steeltip version in that about half the teams are made up exclusively of Koreans. And they are good, eight of the top ten players are Koreans. Danny’s/Jay Bar are Korean venues. In fact, the bar staff didn’t speak English at all. So, I got to use my limited vocabulary a couple of times (although teammates Lonnie and Grant are comparatively fluent).

We won 13-0. That is two weeks in a row we have swept the match. Of course it would be dishonest if I failed to mention that both victories came as a result of forfeits. Not sure what is going on, but rumor has it the Korean teams are boycotting because of some controversy that occurred in a big softtip tournament with an American member of the league. Don’t know that that is the case, but it was strange that NONE of the Korean teams showed up last week.

Well, we were there at Jay Bar and had the board to ourselves so we played a couple of rounds and enjoyed some cold beers. Then we crossed the street to check out Danny’s and had another round of beer. Afterwards we cabbed back to Dolce and played some “real” darts (steeltips) and drank more beer.

Mr. Kim, a fine darts player and a good guy showed up. Rare for him these days as he is juggling three businesses and is always working. He immediately challenged me to a game, but I protested I was too drunk to throw and besides I had already put my darts away. He wasn’t hearing it, reminding me that I had put him out of the tournament on Saturday and he wanted some revenge. What are you going to do in that situation but play. Well, the results were pretty predictable as he won 4 of the 5 legs we played. Although given my condition, they were relatively close. I think sober I *might* be able to beat Mr. Kim 40% of the time. Or not.

And then I had a nice surprise when Brian, a friend from the fantasy football league, came in with a Canadian friend of his. We all got to talking and the next thing I know its 2 a.m. It was good to see him again though. BTW, my team lost in the second round of the playoffs last weekend. I had debated which running back to bench, Willie Parker or Clinton Portis. I went with Parker who wound up getting injured in the first quarter and scored me zero points. I would up losing by 10 points, and the difference was sitting on my bench in the person of Mr. Portis. Ah well.

Oh yeah, on the evening of Christmas day we had the bright idea of inventing some dart bar drinks. I don’t know enough about booze to be of any benefit to the creative process, but in a small way I was the inspiration. I was throwing pretty poorly and Jim had ordered a round of drinks. When the barkeep asked what I wanted I blurted out that “I needed a dart lesson”. A light bulb went off in Jim’s head I guess, because the next thing I know he had pen and paper in hand and was working on a recipe. And the shot now called the “dart lesson” was born. Its an ungodly mix of grenadine, jagermeister, Bailey’s and Midori. Given the various consistencies of the ingredients it makes for a layer of dart board colors in the shot glass. Looks good but the taste is pretty gross. So, we decided it would be a punishment drink, i.e., someone throws a bad round of darts and the call goes out to “give that guy a dart lesson”. That should provide some motivation to shoot well. Jim actually worked up a couple of more drinks, including a Ton-80. That consists of two parts Wild Turkey and one part Southern Comfort (to take the edge off). Now, I personally can barely drink whiskey as it triggers a gag reflex. But, Lonnie had thrown a Ton-80 at Jay Bar, so of course we had to give the new drink a try. Yikes, it is powerful concoction! Luckily (for me) Ton-80s are relatively rare.

So, today is the first day of my mini-vacation. I took today and Monday off, so I’m sitting on a 5 day New Year’s weekend. Not doing anything out of the ordinary though. Dart tourneys tonight and Sunday, and a New Year’s eve party at Dolce Vita are about all I have on my agenda.

Been trying to sell my deceased boss’ car for the past couple of months, and finally got a call this morning. So hopefully we will complete the sale on Monday. That will be a worry off my mind.

And that just about brings y’all up to the minute in the exciting world of LTG.

So, in keeping with the theme of my working life, here’s a photo of my coworkers (well, the picture was taken on October 11, so my coworkers at that time).

My new family in Korea.

L-R Front Row: Corine Rodriguez; Kim, Yong-im; Yi, Kyong-ae; Sharon Alsop; Yi, Yong-in; So, Chong Cho; Yi, Tok Hui; Joel Springer
L-R Back Row: Choe, Song Won; Donna Cole; Kim, Yong-tae; Me; Bill Dyer; Leora Andersen; Bosong Mayer. (not pictured: Walt Washington)

Handsome group, eh? You can see our cool shed that serves as office space in the background.

So, since October 11 here’s what changed: Walt died. Corine left for a job in DC. Joel left for a promotion in HR at Installation Management Command-Korea. Donna has accepted a lateral assignment at the Civilian Personnel Advisory Center (CPAC) in Yongsan (although we are not releasing her until we have a replacement selected). Leora also took a job at the CPAC and left last week. Bosong took a job at the U.S. Embassy and leaves after next week.

As you might imagine, things are pretty f’d up at work right now. We are at 33% of our (already lean) U.S. staffing authorization. At this point we are just trying to avoid a critical mission failure, but my stress level is way up there. We will get through this. I’ve actually found replacements for Bosong, Joel, and Corine, although they won’t come on board until late January. Just got to suck it up until then.

You know, I don’t fault people for doing what they need to do to advance their careers. In a way, it’s a compliment when your people get promoted. Donna to her credit has been a real trooper in delaying her departure pending getting some new staff on board. I’m extremely disappointed in one individual that I consider selfish and disloyal. Everyone is replaceable though. And you burn bridges at your own peril. ‘Nuff said about that.

So that should bring y’all up to speed on my working life. Far be it from me to complain…

I’m not talking about tomato paste either. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, so I guess it’s time to play some catch up. Not that much has been happening mind you, but what the hell, that’s never stopped me before.

Last Friday I had some good darts at the Dolce Vita tournament. Two firsts and a second. Was feelin’ a pretty good beer high when I left, then stopped at a soju tent on the way home. A soju drunk on top of the beer was not the smartest idea I’ve had in awhile. Anyhow, got to talking with a couple of the trannies from a nearby tranny bar who were sitting there, which is always kinda interesting. I’ve seen some good looking lady boys on the street, but these “girls” would never be mistaken for anything other than men in drag. Don’t actually remember what we talked about, but I must have bought a lot of soju because I spent W60,000 which was equal to my darts winnings. Ah well, cruised on home about 0500.

I woke up Saturday a little after one, which would have been ok except I had to meet Grant, Rick and Lonnie at the Itaewon subway station at two. Grant is getting married on 1 September and the plan was to head on down to Songtan for a bachelor party. Well, I rushed around and made it, then we subwayed to Nambu bus terminal for the ride down to Songtan, arriving about 4:00.

Surprisingly, after 2 and half years in Korea this was my first trip down there. For those who don’t know, Songtan is the village right outside Osan Air Base. Which means there are lots of bars, shops, and other entertainment that caters primarily to a military clientèle. Kinda like Itaewon on speed.

So, the first thing Grant says is let’s get our hotel rooms. I said, excuse me, no one said anything to me about spending the night. Call me old fashioned but when I do an overnighter I like to carry a change of clothes and a toothbrush. Rick and Lonnie said they hadn’t decided whether they were spending the night yet, so we kinda just let it slide. So we hit the dart supply shop and stocked up some dart paraphernalia. Then we decided to eat. I was thinking a good burger would hit the spot, but the other guys wanted Thai. Just what my stomach needed after a night of soju. I got some seafood noodles at spice level 2 (out of 5) and they went down ok.

Notwithstanding my hangover we decided it was time to drink some beer and play some darts. So, we did a bit of bar crawling and there were quite a few dart bars along the way. There is a dart tourney in Songtan every Saturday night and I was up for playing, but Rick and Lonnie had other ideas. So, we put away the darts and switched to the entertainment bars. I can’t recall the names of most of them, but I do know the first one we tried wouldn’t seat us because the other guys were carrying backpacks (yeah, they brought a change of clothes). So we wound up at a place called UN Club.

Ok, it was a juicy bar. And in between buying W10,000 juice drinks, the girls would do a pole dance on stage. Sexy outfits but no exposed breasts or anything like that. Now, those girls shore were friendly and being that it was a bachelor party and all we let them entertain us for awhile (in exchange for us buying them drinks of course. The girl sitting beside me was covered in tattoos which is kinda of a turn off, but since I was not looking for love in all the wrong places it didn’t matter much. An unnamed guy (hey there is honor among thieves) and the girl he was sitting with were really getting along in an up close and personal kinda way however. After a couple of hours we were ready to move on and being as how there weren’t many other suckers, I mean customers, around they were probably sincerely sorry to see us go. Once we got outside, Grant brought up the hotel room thing again. By now Rick and Lonnie had decided to stay and the unnamed one was wanting to get to “know” the girl from UN Club, so he got a room too. I had no intention of staying and knowing I had to find my way back on my own dampened my spirits a bit.

But being the good trooper that I am, I decided to hang awhile anyway. So, we stopped at Mickey D’s for the burger I was craving then moved on to some “go go” bars. These basically featured cute (mostly) young Filipinas dancing on stage in mini-skirts. Guess I’m getting old, but it just didn’t do much for me. One young dancer (couldn’t have been more than 19) wanted to sit with me after her dance, but I sent her away to Rick instead. Just wasn’t in the mood for that kind of company.

So about midnight the guys decided they were ready for a return visit to UN Club. Which is when I said my goodbyes. I was as drunk as I wanted to be and unlike them, I still had to make it home. So, I found my way back to the bus station, and of course it was closed. So, I hailed a cab and asked if he wanted to take me to Itaewon. The cabbie agreed and we were off. Of course, after midnight taxi fares are higher but I was surprised at just how fast the meter was rolling off the Won. I checked my wallet and found W73,000, so I crossed my fingers that I would have enough for the trip. As fate would have it, when we he pulled up to my door 40 minutes later the fare came to W71,000. So, I gave him the W73,000, said kamsamnida, and headed upstairs. Yeah, I could have gotten a room for less than the cab fare, but I was glad to be home.

And on Sunday I rested (hey, it worked for the Lord). Watched a good movie called “The Departed”.

Monday was dart league. We played one of the weaker teams in our division, T.A.P. from 3 Alley Pub. We took them down 14-5, which is even more impressive than it sounds because our best player Cuatro was not available due to the military exercise. I went 6-0 with a few marks which will hopefully move me up from my embarrassing 14th place ranking.

I also found out Monday that my star employee Corine has accepted a job in Washington, DC. She is leaving at the worst possible time, but I can’t fault her as it is a big promotion. So, I am happy for her but pretty bummed to be losing her. She has been like a big sister to me and I am going to really miss her friendship as well as her stellar job performance. Anyway, I’ll say more about her later, I am really not wanting to think about it much now. She is here until 15 October, but I won’t be able to get a replacement on board before she leaves. My only other US employee (the one who had twins) is leaving next Friday. So, I’m pretty much fucked work wise, but that’s life.

Tuesday was my 3rd week of Korean lessons from my tutor. I have to give her credit, she does a lot of preparation for me. Makes little games so I can practice what she has taught me. Although it makes me feel like I’m in kindergarten, which is probably about the right assessment of my current skill level. Still, I am reading better and she says my pronunciation is good. At this point I am just building vocabulary, I am a long way from conversation. I’m enjoying doing the reciprocal English lessons I’m providing, although I don’t work near as hard at it as she does. She says it is helping and she seems appreciative, so I’m glad for that. I need to have her and her husband over for dinner one of these days. I’ve met him a couple of times now. He is a Korean rapper, apparently of some local fame (at least he has a weekend radio show). His stage name is “Rapatizer”, but I’ve never heard him perform. He dresses kinda urban and has a big afro which is a little peculiar looking on a Korean guy. Tells me he is going to get some corn rows soon. Ok, then.

Last night I got asked to pinch hit for a missing player on the Dolce Vita pool league team. I haven’t even picked up a pool stick for months. So, I had low expectations going in and I managed to achieve them. Well, I won one game when my opponent scratched on the 8-ball. Still, I guess that was better than a forfeit.

And so that brings us up to the moment. Glad we had this chance to catsup.

It’s the time of the season again. Soldiers rotating out after completing their tour of duty in Korea. A good thing for them of course, but it also means saying goodbye to friends.

This time we bid farewell to Mario. A great guy who always wears a big shit eatin’ grin on his face and is quick to laugh and offer words of encouragement. He joined our dart team last year and really contributed to our successful season. Just an all around great guy who kept us loose and always found a way to keep it fun. He is missed already.

Anyway, we did his going away gig at Dolce Vita Thursday night. Lots of food and beer and a dart tournament called “Last Chance to Beat Mario”. I wound up playing against Mario and his partner. I admit to being somewhat conflicted because while it would be nice for Mario to take first in the tourney held in his honor, I only play darts one way–to win. So, we took the first leg in cricket, and they came back to take the ’01 leg. We jumped out to an early lead in the third cricket leg, but then Mario threw a 7-mark on 15s for points. Damn dude. We got beat fair and square and Mario wound up taking the championship match. And I got W5000 for 3rd. Perfect ending!

Mario’s next duty station is in Hawaii so don’t feel too sorry for him. Here’s some pictures from Thursday night:

Mario in action. Should have blinded him BEFORE that 7-mark!

Mario and Se Hwa.

Food, beer, and darts. Does it get any better than this?

Mario’s friend and teammate Lonnie.

Jun from Bless U Pub.

Me and my partner Mac. We gave Mario a good game, but in the end he was just too good for us.

Petro, the dart league president and a Korean guy I’ve never seen before.

Mario holding court. I think these are some of his Hash friends.

Jim, Dolce owner, teammate, and host of the event. Dolce kicked in W100,000 to sweeten the tourney pot.

Mario modeling our new dart league Jersey. Pretty cool, huh? Lonnie did the graphic design.

Bill and Joon. Got an invite to their wedding in October.

Mario with his share of the winnings from the tourney victory. Good luck spending that Won in Hawaii dude!

So, that’s the report on Mario’s big night. Dolce is going to be a lot quieter without you and here’s hoping our paths cross again one day…

Sorry, wrong hat.

Oh well, just thought it was time for a quick update on my so called life. Just finished a somewhat stressful week at work. I have been temporarily promoted to the Deputy Director position while the incumbent continues his battle with cancer. No big deal really, I’ve been basically performing the duties for the past several months. Now I’ll just make a tad more money for the effort.

One of my star employees has interviewed for a job in the States. I’m pretty much f’ed if she takes it as she is heading up the transition to the new National Security Personnel System, which is a ton of work and she has been doing an outstanding job with all the details required for our November implementation. I’ve been pushing her as hard as I dare to stay, but I think she will go if the offer is made. Well, no point in worrying about it overmuch, life goes on.

I was also recently “awarded” my first medal from the Army. Yes, folks, I am the proud recipient of the Korean Civilian Service Medal. What did I do to earn this honor you ask? Why, I completed two years of service here in the land of the morning calm. Which I guess makes it kinda akin to a Special Olympics participant award, but you know I still thought it was pretty cool. I guess I’m just easily pleased these days.

Lately I find myself dreaming of the Philippines. I’ve been checking out some expat websites and it is pretty amazing how well you can live there for just a small amount of money. I’m talking about having a nice house, live in maid, and livin’ large for two grand a month. And there are some real beautiful places, whether you like the beach or the mountains. It’s a freakin’ tropical paradise. Yeah, I need to go there and check it out on the ground. The poverty that surrounds you would take some getting use to for one thing. Still, nowhere is perfect and all things being equal I think I could adapt to living like a king in my golden years. Here’s one of the houses I kinda liked:

This is in a new subdivision in Tagaypay, a couple of hours north of Manila. It is actually pretty expensive for the Philippines at 6 million pesos, or about $122,000 US. I’ve seen better deals out there, but I’ve always fancied the idea of living in a log house. And this house would cost three times that in the USA. Well, who knows what the future holds. You gotta take each day one at a time and not get caught up living in the future (or the past for that matter). But it is also prudent to plan ahead. Watching my boss fight his battle with cancer and seeing people my age dying unexpectedly is pretty good motivation for thinking about what is really important in life. For me, it sure as hell isn’t work. I’m thinking January 2, 2011 is when I’m going to check out from the rat race. Here’s hoping I live that long.

I finally had some coworkers, including my Director, over for a dinner party last weekend. It went pretty well I suppose, although I’m not much for being a host. Lots of pressure to have everything turn out right. My boss finally told me to relax and enjoy myself. So, I had some more beer and things did turn out ok. Afterwards we all headed over to Grand Ol’ Opry for some good old fashion country music. We got a kick out of watching the Koreans doing the line dances and Texas two-step. Most of them are damn good and certainly much better at American-style dancing than I am. And of course at midnight we all stood up and sang “Proud to be an American” and “The Star Spangled Banner” which is the tradition at the Opry. A good night all in all.

What else? Well, I have hired a Korean tutor. My self-study program had kinda hit a wall, owing mostly to my lack of motivation and my tendency to be easily distracted (i.e. I find practicing darts more pleasurable than practicing Korean). Anyway, my tutor is the sister of a friend and I’m hoping my ego (read: fear of appearing stupid) will help me get my ass in gear and actually study. Plus, I am paying for these lessons so maybe the desire to get my money’s worth will also provide some incentive. I’ve also agreed to give her one hour a week of English tutoring (for free). I’m kinda looking forward to seeing if I’m any good at that sorta thing. I’m going to the bookstore later today to find an appropriate textbook to use.

And finally, let’s talk darts. I’m off to a slow start so far this season. I’ve managed to go 8-4 through the first two weeks, but my game is definitely off. I’m not getting much in the way of marks, and every leg is a struggle. Surprisingly, my wins are coming mostly in ’01 although I still believe cricket is my best game. I’ve been working hard in practice at hitting more triples, and that paid off last night in the Dolce tourney as I won the singles and finished second in doubles. Maybe I’m breaking out of my slump, we’ll see what happens Monday night.

And there you have it. The latest and greatest from yours truly.

I had a kinda weird night yesterday. It started out in typical fashion with me playing darts at Dolce Vita. I got there around 7 and left around 10. I had 3 (or maybe 4) draft beers during that time frame and also consumed 3 slices of pizza.

I walked home to the villa and as is my habit took the stairs from the basement parking garage up to my abode. Now, I live on the second floor, which makes 3 flights of stairs. Ok, sometimes I get confused and lose count. Like last night. So, I punch in my code on the front door keypad, open the door and step inside my apartment. Only, it wasn’t MY apartment. Which dawned on me pretty quickly when I noted the tasteful furnishings and lack of clutter, not to mention a barking dog.

So, I beat a hasty retreat but was more than a little astounded that the apartment directly below mine has the exact same four digit combination that I chose for my door (and just recently changed due to my having fired my now former housekeeper). What are the odds of that happening? (meaning the same combination, not the odds of me firing the housekeeper).

Shortly thereafter I needed to run a quick errand near the Hangangjin subway station. It’s only a few blocks away and I could have easily walked, but I didn’t. You know, one of the first observations most folks make upon moving to Korea is that traffic laws are very loosely enforced. Running red lights, driving on the sidewalk, illegal parking are all par for the course. Not that I engage in such practices, but it is a common enough occurrence as to not warrant more than a shrug.

The one exception I have noticed is drunk driving enforcement. Several times I have encountered the check points where the Korean police stop you and have you blow into a breathalyzer and then proceed on your way (provided you blow negative, which of course has always been the case with me). I support such tactics because it is insane to drive while drunk. When I’m driving in this wonderful country it often seems like even the stone cold sober drivers operate their vehicles as if inebriated. Maintaining strict situational awareness and exercising maximum defensive driving techniques is mandatory when sharing the road with insane cabbies, aggressive bus drivers, fearless motor scooter operators, and a generally clueless driving population.

Anyway, last night one of these checkpoints was set up right in front of the Hangangjin subway station. Now, I KNEW I was not drunk, but I also knew that I had never had anything to drink when I previously had to do the “blow and go” routine. Although I was not overly worried, I admit I was a tad disconcerted. So, I put my window down, the police officer sticks the breath detector in my face, I blow, and it beeps. He tells me to blow again, and I get the same result. At this point, another policeman, rather burly by Korean standards, comes to the window and barks “get out of the car”. I said, do you want me to pull over to the side of the road (this is a major four lane street) and he responds by yelling “GET OUT OF THE CAR”. So, I get out of the car and he gestures for me to go over to a police car parked at the side of the street.

Ok, at this point I am no longer disconcerted, I am actually feeling a fair amount of fear regarding the possible outcome and consequences of my first encounter with Korean law enforcement. I was quite confident I was not drunk, legally or otherwise, I’m a big guy and 3 or 4 beers over a 3 or 4 hour time period is just not enough to get me there. But that damn box I blew into seemed to believe otherwise. So the cop at the side of the road asks for my drivers license and asks if I speak hangul-mal. I figured if he heard my Korean he would definitely think I was drunk, so I said “annio”. About this time the burly cop walks up (he had moved my car to the side of the road) and asks for my license, and I indicated the other cop already had it. He took it, saw it was a SOFA license, and asked if I was Army. I said civilian. He then asked the question cops the world over must ask in this situation: “how much have you been drinking?” and I gave the standard response of “two beers” (yeah, yeah, not the whole truth but I was under a lot of stress).

The first cop then starts explaining the facts of life. Well, not explaining as much as drawing me a picture. On a piece of paper he wrote .5 with an arrow pointing up and .2 with an arrow pointing down. He pointed at the up arrow and said something about license and “100 days”, which I guess meant a suspension although in the back of my mind I was wondering about Korean prison conditions. I never did grasp the significance of the .2 and down arrow. Then he set up the high tech breathalyzer with a tube to blow in. They gave me some water and indicated I should gargle, which seemed like a good idea to me too. He patiently demonstrated how I was to blow into the tube, and showed me that the breath reader was set at 00.0. So, I blew. But the cop said “not long enough”. He reset to zero and had me blow again and I got it right this time.

Then we all stood there watching my “score” get tallied. It went 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and I was about to freak out until I realized that it was the number after the decimal. Whew. Then the big numbers came up, but thankfully stopped well under that ominous “5”. 2.5 to be exact, one half of the legal limit. So, I was vindicated. Mr. Burly Cop returned my keys and said I could go.

I must admit my heart was racing and I had to smoke a couple of cigarettes before I resumed driving. You know, I was not drunk but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t stupid. Stupid for putting myself in that situation. Stupid for driving after any drinking period. Especially when I know you have to have your wits about you whenever you drive the mean streets of Seoul. Had I been in an accident I have no illusions about who the courts would deem to be at fault.

So, that was my lesson learned and my advice to you wherever you may be is: if you drink, don’t drive. Nothing good can come of it.

Last night I completed my first level in my ongoing effort to develop at least some ability to speak Korean. I know my “alphabet” and I can read Hangul now. Not that I know what the hell I’m reading means, but it is good to not be totally illiterate.

My level 2 text looks pretty interesting. I will be learning grammar and sentence structure. And the instruction will be more of a one-on-one format which should make it a little easier. I think my biggest problem is going to be understanding the spoken word. Well, practice, practice, practice is my plan.

Had an interesting evening tonight. My realtor invited me to a dinner show at the Walker Hill Shearton. Her way of saying thanks for renewing my lease (and her commission). Also, I am not a pain in the ass for them as I tend to take care of problems directly with the landlord. She is trying to get the owner to pick up my internet fees as part of the lease. Don’t see why he would do that now that I’ve signed, but we shall see. I might start being a pain in the ass in retaliation if they don’t want to negotiate…

Anyway, the show was surprisingly good overall. During dinner we were treated to some traditional Korean dancing and music, including a great percussion performance and some fan dancing. Quite pleasing to watch. The food was about what you would expect at a dinner theatre, but I cleaned my plate anyway (steak and sweet potato). No idea what the price was because of course she picked up the tab. She mentioned wanting to go to 3 Alley Pub, so I told her I would reciprocate by taking her there some time. I’ll come out ahead on that deal for sure.

So, the main show was called “Subway”. The premise was you followed a subway through several stops in various cities and the performers did song and dance routines from Broadway productions set in that venue. Started in NYC, then Chicago, London, Seoul, Buenos Aires, and Rio de Janiero.

The performers were average for professionals (I’ve actually seen better in community theatre), but the stage props and settings were outstanding. I had seen the musical “Chicago” on Broadway, and the rendition of All That Jazz and Cell Block Tango were pretty disappointing by comparison. Still, they wore some damn sexy costumes so you take the good with the bad I suppose. For Seoul, they kinda wimped out and had some youngsters break dancing and then did some Abba numbers pretending it was a concert in Seoul. Talk about western cultural imperialism!

Ah well, it was free and it was different. And actually pretty entertaining for the most part. I’d give one thumb up and depending on what it actually costs to see the performance would recommend it as a change of pace.

I’ve been a long time gone, haven’t I? What can I say other than to apologize for my general lack of motivation to post. But I have a quiet moment on a Sunday night so I’ll share it with you. Yeah, you. You know who you are. (Kinda neat how I made anyone who is reading this post feel special, isn’t it? Like when Elton John did “Your Song”. There is something to be said for the universal approach, and I do want both of my readers to feel included. Just the kinda guy I am).

Anyway, today I took my son Nolan to the airport and he is currently somewhere over the wide Pacific on his journey home. He had three great months in Korea and hated to leave. But no job (or visa) was found, so he had to go. He made lots of friends (certainly far more than I have in over 2 years here) and I think the experience was a very positive one for him. Anyway, he is always welcome to come back and I think that is an option he will consider. I know he will be missed by many, including me. The house already seems oddly quiet and empty. Much like my life, but I’m not going there in this post!

We had a great Thanksgiving celebration at Dolce Vita. We bought 2 nice turkeys on base (already cooked and surprisingly moist and tasty). Did pot luck on the sides, and had the usual fixin’s including mashed taters and gravy, dressing, corn, cranberry, rolls, pumpernickel bread (with YJ’s great dip) fruit salad, carrot cake, pumpkin and apple pies, and a cobbler. It really turned out well. I eat American all the time having access to the base commissary, but my expat English teacher friends really enjoyed having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Our Korean guests got a taste of something new and even added kimchi as a side. Yum, turkey and kimchi! I did miss having candied yams and green bean casserole, but the guys did the cooking for this event and having no Big Hominid amongst us, we had to make do with what our limited skills allowed.

Wanna see some pictures? Ok then:

The bird. We bought two of them and had precious little leftovers.

Somehow I got stuck with carving duties. Back home I use an electric knife. I managed though.

See? I cut that baby up into tasty morsels. You can see my famous “Aunt Pat’s Recipe” fruit salad in the background. Lonnie did a great job on the potatos and dressing.

I baked that carrot cake and we bought some pies from the bakery on post. It was all good.

Cuatro is a soldier and captain of our dart team. He arrived with his girlfriend (whose name escapes me at the moment, sorry) ready to chow down.

After dining, we did some socializing…here’s Nolan with Duke’s mom, Candy.

Of course, some dart games broke out. Here’s Mario taking his best shot (of course the flash was a little distracting).

Lonnie takes his turn…

Wherever there is a pool table you are likely to find Nolan.

Me and Duke posing for the camera. No, I am not as drunk as I might appear in this photo. I probably am that fat however….

Jim seemed awfully happy to pose for a picture with Bill’s girlfriend Joon…

Nolan’s girlfriend (well, I guess former girlfriend) Sophia. A German exchange student. I know she hated to see him go. I have a funny story about her but I think I will keep it to myself. I am sure she would be grateful for my discretion.

Joon and Nolan became very good friends during his time here. And yes, Nolan *may* have been as drunk as he appears…

“The 8 ball goes in the middle”. The Korean women in attendance spent a lot of time on the pool table.

Gene throws while Kyle looks on. We had an impromptu dart tourney which Kyle and I had the good fortune to win as partners. 20,000Won each. WooHoo!

Zeke and his lady friend. SongHee is one of the new barkeeps at Dolce. In the deep background is Haelee who is very camera shy. I was surprised I actually captured her here. Zeke is a great guy who works at the hospital on base. A couple of months ago I was getting treated for diaper rash (don’t ask!) and he told the nurse I was a VIP. She believed him and I got excellent treatment during my visit. Thanks again, Zeke!

“Dead eye” Joon lines up for the shot…

“No way you are going to make that shot Nolan”

Joon, Yoolee, and Sophia looking pretty as usual. Yoolee is from Indonesia and just married Tom here in Korea. They are going to do a traditional Muslim wedding back home in January. I’ve been invited to the reception in Bali and if things work out I’ll be there.

Duke’s girlfriend JiYoung is a fine looking darts player, if you know what I mean…

JiYoung and her cute girlfriends. If we ever got introduced the names are lost in the fog of too much turkey and beer…

Tom and Dave, two great guys who happen to play darts for our arch rivals the Rubbies. As of today Tom is ranked number 3, I’m 4 and Dave is 5. Its very close and with two weeks to go in the season we all think that order is subject to change. They way I have been throwing (lousy) it just might.

So that was my Thanksgiving. Really had a great time. Wish y’all could have been there. Yeah, I’m talking to you!

So, at 1600 yesterday I am ready to head out to the airport. I open the garage door only to discover a car parked completely blocking my exit. Now, I’ve lived here long enough to know that the natives pretty much park whereever they please, but to actually block the entrance to a parking area for an entire apartment building is especially discourteous. So I get out of my vehicle and look around for the driver. There’s two Korean guys standing across the street watching me but they give no indication they know anything about the whereabouts of the owner of the offending vehicle.

Knowing how it’s done, I pull out my cell phone and call the number on the windshield. No answer. I left a rather nasty message in English. Now I’m very frustrated and highly pissed. I go back upstairs and call my landlord telling him he needs to get a tow truck because I had to get to the airport. He said he’d call the police, so I go back downstairs to wait. One of the two guys from across the street comes over and starts talking to me in Korean. All I recognized was “Hangul-mal” so I knew he was asking if I spoke Korean. I told him no, but he continued to speak to me while I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

About this time my landlord’s wife walks up and starts talking to the two men. They just shake their heads. I tell her I really need to get to the airport and she talks to the two men more aggressively. Then one of them walks over, pulls out some keys, starts the car and moves it! I was astounded and livid. I asked the landlord’s wife “what’s up with this?” and she just shrugged. I was about as pissed as I’ve ever been and if I hadn’t have been so pressed for time I might have gotten into an altercation. I surely wanted to slap that rude MF’er around. Oh well. I just can’t figure out what the motivation for that whole scene was. Duke thinks they were just messin’ with me because I’m a foreigner, but that makes no sense at all.

Anyway, I pick Duke up in Itaewon (he agreed to be my navigator on my first time drive to Incheon) and we head out. Very easy drive with almost no traffic and we got there in plenty of time to meet Nolan’s plane. In fact we had time for an 8000 Won draft beer in an airport bar while we waited for him to clear immigration and customs. So Nolan makes it through and we are ready for the drive home. I had been a little nervous about driving the old hoop dee on the freeway, but she did just fine and I had no trouble cruising along at 110 km/h. Dusk was falling so I turned on the headlights. I noticed my intrument lights were awful dim but didn’t really think much about it. We got to talking with Nolan and I missed the turnoff for Seoul, but no big deal, we just took the expressway on the opposite side of the river.

Traffic was very heavy, but we were moving along ok. And then my car started to stall. Same thing it did a few weeks ago. Duke said we absolutely do not want to break down in the middle lane of a crowded highway, so I moved over to the right lane. We had about 5 kms to go before reaching the Hannam bridge and I knew there was no way the old car was going to make it. Fortunately, there was an exit to the Han river park and we got off there. I found a parking lot and pulled in. Had just enough power left to get the windows up and that was it.

Nolan grabbed his luggage and we commenced walking. We found an underpass to the other side of the expressway, and after a relatively short distance caught a cab home.

So today I need to figure out just where my car is and how to tell a tow truck driver to get there. I’m sure I have a bad alternator. I was surprised when I took it in last time and all they did was replace the battery. It ran fine until I turned on the headlights, but clearly I was not getting enough charge to keep the car going after that.

Life can be such a joy sometimes.

Yesterday I attended the musical “Dorothy” at the Yonsei University theatre. It was my first exposure to the performing arts in Korea and I was very favorably impressed. It was a rather unique take on “The Wizard of Oz” story, recognizable but quite different too.

Of course, almost all the dialog was beyond my comprehension but the singing and dancing was very impressive. They did an excellent job with the costumes, and the stage props, while simple, were effective and appropriate. Not a Broadway production by any means, but very professional and entertaining.

I was curious how what had always struck me as a uniquely American story would translate for a Korean audience. Turns out, the tale as told in this interpretation was quite universal in its values. There were 9 in our group, 5 American and 4 Koreans. None of the Koreans had seen or heard of “The Wizard of Oz”. This surprised me because TWOO is one of the most popular movies ever made. Then again, I am still very much America-centric in my thinking which is something I need to constantly guard against as I attempt to engage Korean culture. It was my faulty logic that led me to think the story wouldn’t translate well. At least one of the Korean women in our group was crying while Dorothy said her goodbyes to Scarecrow, Tinman and the Lion.

So, for you TWOO fans, here is how they told the story in Korea (remember, I caught almost none of the

dialog, so take my observations with a grain of salt (hell make it a pound of salt). Or its metric equivalent (see, I’m trying).

It started with a “cat” (portrayed by a beautiful Korean woman in a skin tight leotard) doing some modern dance routine under a crescent moon. Very graceful and sleek, her movement was indeed “catlike”. And then a man in a chicken costume (assuming man based on voice) appears on stage. The cat stalks the chicken and after some back and forth captures the fowl and drags it off stage. Soon the chicken (much reduced in size (stuffed toy) is carried back on stage in a cage by the cat, who hangs the cage on the tip of the aforementioned crescent moon, which then ascends from view as the stage fades to black. I have no idea what that scene was all about, other than the cat had some magical powers (beyond the power of seduction). Well, I wasn’t technically seduced, so let’s rephrase and say I found the cat enchanting…

Anyway, the curtain rises and we see a telephone booth (telephone was written in English) and underneath the booth we see the legs of the wicked witch (of the East?). Then the Munchkins come out and discover the body which pretty much freaked them out. They weren’t “little people” like in the movie, but they were gaily dressed in colorful costumes and their antics were quite hilarious. While they were checking out the body to make sure their nemesis was indeed deceased, Dorothy pops out of the phone booth. Unlike the movie, she was already wearing the ruby red slippers (as opposed to taking them from the dead witch). Upon seeing Dorothy, the Munchkins freak out again, but finally they calm down and introductions commence (I understood anyonghaseyo). Then they break into a song and dance routine, although the song WAS NOT “ding dong the witch is dead”.

Soon the other bad witch (of the West?) shows up with the aforementioned cat. When this witch figures out that Dorothy killed her sister, her and the cat attempt to accost poor Dorothy, but the red slippers apparently act as some kind of shield and they are unable to lay a hand upon her. About this time, Glenda the good witch (from the North?) arrives and the bad witch and cat retreat. Quite a bit of dialog occurs, and then Glenda breaks into song. Didn’t understand a word of it of course, but that witch could sing! And then after some more chat, Dorothy heads off down the yellow brick road on her quest for Oz. She didn’t sing the “follow the yellow brick road” song, instead it was a catchy little tune with some “la la la’s” and “dee dee dee’s” that had the audience clapping along.

Next we see Dorothy in the forest and when she tries to pick an apple, the trees give her a stern talking to. There were three of them, great costumes and the Korean speaking audience was chuckling over whatever they were saying. In the background you can see the scarecrow hanging on his pole. To my delight, the cat shows up again in this scene and is soon attacked by the trees. Dorothy rescues the cat by tickling the trees until they retreat off stage. The cat seems rather ungrateful and leaves shortly thereafter. About this time, the scarecrow comes to life and does a little song and dance before he and Dorothy continue down the yellow brick road.

Soon they encounter the Tinman, rusted into immobility. With a little oil in the joints he’s as good as new, and he of course breaks into a lively dance, where he is joined by a group of female tin men (er, tin women). I don’t know what it had to do with the story, but they did a great robot dance set to rock music which was quite visually appealing. Yeah, they were also quite sexy. So sue me for being a man.

After continuing down the path they meet up with the cowardly lion. He was definitely the audience favorite. Don’t know what he was saying, but all the Koreans were laughing hysterically. Then out of nowhere, a whole bunch of cats show up. They are dancing around, mewing, and getting into mini-catfights with each other. You know I loved that part! The lion (or was it the scarecrow?) starts counting the cats “one, two, three, five, eight, ten!” which I think was the only English in the production and I thought it was funny as hell.

Continuing on their way the troupe is put under some enchantment by the evil witch and they fall asleep. The cats come and capture Dorothy and carry her off to the witch’s lair. When they awaken and discover Dorothy is gone some hilarity ensues while scarecrow and tin man convince the cowardly lion to join them in rescuing poor Dorothy. Which they do after fighting off the cats and melting the witch (Which witch? The wicked witch). Dorothy is watching the action from inside a bird cage, and of course when she is released it calls for a song and dance. Seems like the cats are relieved to be free of the witch and they are in a partying mood. Two of them were all over the lion, patting his fur and rubbing his paws. Lucky lion! When it was time to continue the journey to Oz the lion didn’t want to leave the cats, but eventually relented and joined his friends.

Once they get to Oz the guards won’t let them in at first, Dorothy cries and tin man gives the guard the witch’s broom and finally he relents. They did a pretty nice job with the wizard prop, and it was of course soon revealed that the wizard was nothing more than a little man behind the curtain. So he gives the scarecrow a diploma, the tin man a heart shaped clock, and the lion a medal. Tearful goodbyes are said, Glenda the good witch returns for another powerful song, and Dorothy gets in the balloon with the wizard. No clicking the heels three times and saying “I wish I were home.”

As I say, it was very well done and quite enjoyable to watch. Enough of the original where I could follow along, but different in ways that made it a new experience. I especially liked the updated music and dance routines. Wanna go? I think it runs through next Sunday the 27th, but don’t trust me on that. Check with Yonsei to be sure.

Oh yeah, afterwards we got invited back stage where we posed for pictures with Dorothy (Eun Guil who also goes by Evie which is good because I butcher the pronunciation of her name). Like the idiot I am I forgot to bring my camera but hopefully someone will email me some copies. I told Evie it was a great show but I had wanted to sing along with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. She said they had really wanted to include that song but could not afford to pay for the rights to use it. Another interesting tidbit, Evie’s boyfriend said Evie had never seen the movie either. Well, she nailed the part quite nicely and maybe not trying to do it the way Judy Garland did was a better approach.

Anyway, it was a great day and a good break from my Itaewon routine. I even took the city bus for the first time. Yeah, I’m quite the adventurer aren’t I?

I just learned that my National Security Personnel System training has been approved. Which means that providing HQ gets my travel orders to me on time, I will depart this Sunday for Columbus, Ohio. On Friday I will leave Columbus and go home to Virginia then on to South Carolina to spend some time with family. Its been almost a year since I was home, so its about time. Definitely looking forward to it.

In other news, we had the dart league banquet last Saturday. It was a semi-fiasco. It was held on the rooftop of Hollywood Grill in Itaewon. And that’s what it was a rooftop. No tables, no chairs, and no shade. It was definitely a warm day up top too. The food was good, but you know, the logistics of eating it was sorta overwhelming. Some people just left, but since our team took first place I wanted to stay for the awards. Here’s some photos:

Ok, the only thing good about the rooftop was the view. This is looking out towards the Mosque. I live behind the Mosque. You know, I never liked that “up on the roof” song anyway. Now I can attest that it is pure BS. At least in the summertime.

As I mentioned, finding a comfortable position for eating was difficult. Ji Yong and Gina from the Bless U pub were doing alright, but Koreans are a lot better at sitting on the hard ground than I am…

Duke and Johnny didn’t seem to mind standing out in the direct sunlight. To hell with that….

The chow line was also in the sun. Trust me, I avoided the deviled eggs and potato salad….

Chris was occupying about the only shade to be found….

The highlight of the afternoon (such as it was) was the presentation of awards. Here Jim and I accept the first place plaque for Dolce Vita. Damn, am I really as fat as this picture makes me appear? Naw, couldn’t be, must be some optical illusion created by the intense sunlight. Yeah, that’s it…. Anyway, I also got a nice plaque for taking second in the league tournament and each member of Dolce Vita got a cool mug with our name engraved. Very nice….

After the awards ceremony was dispensed with, we all moved over to the Blue Frog for the banquet dart tourney. Here we are warming up (I didn’t have the guts to take a flash picture during actual play).

Tae Shin gives Tom some Korean first aid. No clue what that was about. Partners for the tourney were selected by blind draw. As fate would have it, I drew Tae Shin for a partner. I played with her and against her on a couple of occasions, and generally have better luck when she is on my side…

The tourney bracket board. Not sure if you can make it out or not, but Tae Shin (who goes by TS) and I started out fine (we are in the number 7 slot if that helps), then got knocked into the losers bracket by Sean and Max. We then proceeded to play our butts off up the losers bracket until we encountered Sean and Max again on their way down. We played a hard fought 3 leg match which came down to the last dart in 01, but we just couldn’t hit our out. Alas. Tae Shin is Sean’s fiancee and I asked him later if he had her throw the game. He denied it. Still, there were a lot of good players throwing, and we took 4th overall. I was not unhappy with that result and we played a lot of games and drank some beer in the shade.

The Dolce Vita players present all finished in the money. Here’s Jim with his partner Adam accepting the 8th place payout Adams T shirt was pretty cool, it says: “Keep staring, I might do a trick”, which many Westerners in Korea can relate too….

Tae Shin and me proudly accepting our 4th place reward…we each got 40,000 Won in those envelopes. Woo Hoo! Oh yeah, in the door prize drawing I also won a dart board. My lucky day…

Duke and his partner CH took second place. As you can see, CH is not happy about that. They went all the way through the winners bracket only to be defeated twice in a row. That stings, but still, second place was worth 100,000 each…..

Sunny (on the right) was our gracious hostess. She’s a real sweetheart. Note the green frog on the bar. The frog on the sign out front is green as well. Why is the place called the Blue Frog? Beats the hell outta me….

After the tourney it was on to Dolce Vita for some celebration (and beer drinking). This is a picture of Erica, the newest barkeep. She’s sorta of crazy, but fun.

Anyway, it was a good weekend and actually carried over to Monday night I was fortunate enough to take a first place at the Bless U tourney. Mr. Kim and I defeated CH and Rick, so CH was forced to settle for another 2nd place. Ah, too bad.

Ain’t my life just full of excitement?