Greetings from Palawan. May the force be with you!

Let’s ketchup, shall we? Headed out early yesterday morning for the airport in Angeles City, about 1.5 hours away. Driver Donny once again managed to defy the odds and got us there safely. First time I’d taken a domestic flight from Clark, and the terminal really sucked. Still managed to kill the hour before boarding without too much discomfort.

Then it was time to board our Philippine Air flight to Puerto Princesa. I was curious what kind of plane it would be since no checked baggage was allowed. When the bus from the terminal pulled up it turned out to be an Airbus 320. After landing, I noted some bags being offloaded so I can only surmise the “no baggage” was about my discounted ticket or some such. No problem, for a three day trip my carry-on was more than sufficient. I was just worried about whether my liquids (i.e. vape juice) would be confiscated at security, but I sailed right on through.

Oh, and I was accompanied by a first time air traveler:

After exiting the airport our driver from the Blue Palawan Resort was there waiting for us. I had gotten an email a couple of days earlier advising me of the free hotel shuttle which was a pleasant surprise.

I’m staying here because the hotel that is hosting the Hash event, the Seaview, was booked up. It’s right next door to the Blue so no problem.

Anyway, that’s where things stand as of now. Fixin’ to grab some lunch and get ready for the first Hash trail this afternoon. They have long (9K) medium (6K) and short (3K) options. We are busing out to the start point and have 1.5 hours to get back “on-home” at a place called Kay’s Resort, wherever that turns out to be. I haven’t seen any nearby mountains so maybe it will be easy walking. We’ll find out soon enough I suppose.

Well, a weekend of my life in the mountaintop city of Baguio anyway.

A very beautiful and interesting city. Lots of history and the American influence in Baguio’s development is still evident today (you can read more about that at the link). At 5,000 feet in elevation it is nearly a mile high. It has a different look and feel from any place I’ve ever experienced in the Philippines. I really enjoyed the pine forests and mountain views. And for the first time since moving here I actually felt chilly sitting outside at night. Luckily the bar that was hosting the Hash event had a nice little fire pit to provide some warmth.

It’s a largish town and has some of the big city drawbacks, most notably traffic congestion. But overall the city was very clean. Not much litter and at least in the parts of town I visited, no slums and shanties. So, I enjoyed my visit but I’d actually have no desire to live there. As much as I love the mountains I also enjoy having the ocean nearby. I have both of those in Baretto and I really enjoy the “small town” lifestyle in my new hometown.

It took more than four hours to reach Baguio, and well over an hour of that was on a twisting and turning narrow mountain road. Coupled with my driver’s aggressive driving style it made for a scary ride. I had to remind him several times that passing cars on curves was not necessary as I was in no hurry to reach my destination. Anyway, I may have to revise my “top ten ways I’m likely to die in the Philippines” list and move driver Donny up from the #4 spot. It seems getting to the Hash may be more dangerous than the actual Hash.

I took a boatload of photos so let’s let them tell the story of my Baguio adventure, shall we?

Well, I came to experience the annual Valentine’s Day Hash hosted by the La Union Hash House Harriers. There were 85 Hashers in attendance and they did a nice job keeping everything on track. An 8 kilometer trail that was not as hard as some I’ve done here in Barretto. Could be because we were already on top of the mountain there wasn’t much climbing left to do.

The La Union Hash circle is quite a bit different than the SBH3. No ice for one thing. I got punished for “smoking” in the circle (as I tried to explain to no avail, I wasn’t smoking, I was vaping. No one calls fog smoke, right? Anyway, my “punishment” was having to chug down a beer. Big whoop. More like a reward!

The La Union Hash is a “family” Hash, so no raunchy Hash names or bawdy songs. I advised Salty Cum to just say her Hash name was “Salty” if asked. Anyway, a good group of guys and it was fun Hashing with them.

We did have four other Hashers from Subic in attendance, so it was good to hang out with some familiar faces. There’s probably going to be a price to be paid for that however. The other SBH3 guys were quick to point out that me and Salty were the only Subic Hashers to do the “easy” trail. Well, in my defense, the Hare had told me the so-called easy trail was also the most scenic. They were both in fact the same length, but maybe not as much uphill on the scenic path. But I expect I’ll be on ice tonight for my “transgression”.

The other thing is the La Union Hash didn’t have San Mig Zero beer (3% alcohol) so I was forced to drink San Mig Light (5% alcohol). Unfortunately, I did not reduce my beer intake accordingly and wound up drunker than I have been in a LONG time. I’m talking years. I’m not real clear on things after a certain point, but apparently in the course of the night I broke at least one bottle of beer, possibly two. That may cost me some ice time as well for embarrassing my mother kennel in Subic.

And so ends the tale of my weekend in the mountains.

Today makes nine months since the conception of my retired life in the Philippines. Thankfully throughout this gestation period there has been no cause to abort my decision to move here. I’ve been born again! And life goes on.

Notwithstanding how it may appear to readers of this blog, I do not find my life boring at all. It just sounds that way when I write about it, day after day after day. I’ve settled into my routines and rituals and they thus far have been more than adequate to keep me feeling fulfilled and satisfied. Your mileage may vary.

I pass a good portion of the daytime hours walking about and when the sun goes down I rest my weary legs on a comfortable bar stool and drink copious amounts of beer contribute my share to support the local economy. I’m a Hasher and a darter and on a first name basis with bargirls all over town. It’s a good life for me here in the golden years.

And there are always opportunities to spice things up a little. Take yesterday’s VFW Beach Bash at Midnight Rambler for example. I started out competing in the afternoon singles dart tournament, played poorly and was eliminated late in the early evening. Which freed me up to agree to be a judge in the Ms. Beach Bash beauty pageant.

But wait, there’s more! I too was called up on stage…

And like the proverbial icing on the cake, I won this gift certificate in the raffle drawing:

So, it was a great event and an interesting crowd. Like this guy:

And so it goes and so it went. And as the bureau of tourism is wont to say: It’s better in the Philippines!

Greetings from the Philippines! I’ve been hard at work on my “to do” list.

Some days surviving is more challenging than others. Today for some crazy reason I decided to walk to Olongapo City. Similar to the hike I did with the Wednesday Walkers last week, except I took the National Highway into town. That’s always a thrill!

Alright, let me ‘fess up to the crazy reason for making that long ass walk. Last Wednesday as we were coming down the mountain into Olongapo I spotted a young woman with the most beautiful smile. I smiled back and she waved at me. And then we both smiled at each other some more. Of course, I was with the group and had to keep moving on, but damn! And she’s been in my mind ever since. It was one of “those” moments that felt like a spontaneous connection and I started the “what if?” thought process.

Like the love-starved sap that I am I made a drunken resolution last night to go back today and try and find her. I kinda sorta remembered the path that led past her house and that it was near the top of a humongous set of stairs we were descending that day. Of course, even if I found the path I realized spotting her house again was unlikely and even if I managed that it was against all odds that she would be home and smiling out the window at me once more as I passed. But by God, if love is my destiny I will not be denied without a fight!

So, by taking the highway route it meant I would be ascending the stairs this time, assuming I could find them. I did take one set up that resulted in a dead end so it was back down to the highway. But then a few minutes later I came upon some familiar looking steps and once again began my climb.

And then it happened. Almost like in a fairy tale. I saw a familiar looking house and then suddenly there she was! Standing out in the yard, looking even more beautiful than I remembered (before I’d only seen her face, she has a very nice body as well!). And when she smiled at me I knew for sure it was her. But this time it was a shy and almost sad smile. And the Filipino man (husband or boyfriend) standing next to her was not smiling at all.

I nodded, mumbled a greeting, and kept on walking. Turns out I wasn’t willing to fight for her after all.

Am I really this pathetic? Why, yes. Yes I am!

Anyway, I continued on until I reached the top of the mountain.

All was not lost however. My friends at Fitbit determined to reward my efforts in the mountains and on the stairways with a brand new badge for my collection.

My day will come. I just got to keep on surviving!

I’ve just seen a face,
I can’t forget the time or place
Where we just met.
She’s just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see
We’ve met, mm-mm-mm-m’mm-mm

Had it been another day
I might have looked the other way
And I’d have never been aware.
But as it is I’ll dream of her
Tonight, di-di-di-di’n’di.

Falling, yes I am falling,
And she keeps calling
Me back again.

With apologies to Mr. Lothbrok, before we close the book on 2018 I thought I’d take a few minutes to reflect on what this year meant to me.

It turned out to be a loveless year, which is somewhat of a surprise I suppose. Of course, I spent a goodly portion of the last twelve months getting over past loves. So to that extent I’ll chalk this one up in the “success” column. And actually I did find someone who loves me:

I did start this year with high hopes that I might find “the one”, but instead only found disappointment.

Sadly, Gem was not the only “friend” who let me down this year. It seems I am either heavily indebted to bad Karma or I am an extremely poor judge of character. Or both. Anyway, if that is the worst I can say about 2018 I did alright I reckon.

On the plus side of the scale, I successfully made the move here and I think I’ve done a reasonably good job at settling in and acclimating myself to my new life amongst the Filipino people. I may run in a small circle but I do feel like I’m now part of a community and I can say it feels more and more like home all the time. I think I’m going to make it here!

There’s still much to be done of course. One of my goals in living here was to find ways to make a difference. To some extent I’ve achieved that, at least for a few people. I mean, I have provided a good job for my domestic helper (and her friend I suppose). My driver gets work he wouldn’t otherwise have, and the caretaker downstairs has a roof over his head and a small weekly allowance. I’ve helped a few other folks out when the need arose (and perhaps when it didn’t, I know I’ve been scammed at least once). There’s still more to be done and I hope to get started doing some regular charity work in the coming year.

This is also the first anniversary of my joining the Hash. That’s one of the healthier aspects of my life here, except when it has me in stitches. Here’s to hoping for another year with no broken bones at least!

So in summation, my life is better than it was and not as good as it is going to be. Bring it on 2019!

The holiday season is in full swing here. It’s hard to not get infected with some of that “spirit”, not that that makes any difference I suppose. I just continue to do my thing and try not to look back. Except when I come here to update my faithful readers. So here you go:

I returned to the bar on Thursday night and as I mentioned in an earlier post Marissa was otherwise occupied doing her drinking with customers gig. Well, my raffle prize was described as “groceries” which I certainly don’t need. So I gave them to Ester, a bargirl with kids at home who I know struggles to make ends meet. She was of course overjoyed. And I then left the bar without saying anything to Marissa who was still busy with her customer.

I didn’t hear from Marissa the next morning as usual, so that afternoon I sent her a “what’s up?” message. What was up was that she was very angry which came as a total surprise to me. It seems I had “insulted” her by giving my raffle prize to Ester instead of her. I asked how does my gifting my gift away insult you? It seems that the other girls, including Ester, were laughing at Marissa because her “boyfriend” had given the gift to someone other than her. I know that makes no sense at all, but I wasn’t there so I can’t say what really happened. What I couldn’t understand was why it was my fault that Marissa felt insulted by her co-workers. Marissa acknowledged that Ester could use the groceries more than her and she didn’t have a problem with my giving them away, but she was angry at having been insulted. I reiterated that it was not my intent for her to feel insulted to no avail. I just cannot fathom the Filipina logic of holding me responsible for the actions of her co-workers.

Anyway, we had plans to go to the SOB dance contest at Alaska Club with Justin and Cherry. I asked if she still wanted to attend and she replied that her and Cherry would meet us there. It was a little strained at first, but we both decided to just chill and enjoy the show.

At the conclusion of the SOB we moved over to Lollipop bar for the “Aftermath” party. More beers were drunk and then Marissa got pissy again and I’d had enough. I lit into her and we took it outside where I screamed some more. Poor Cherry was trying to act as intermediary to little effect. Marissa and I both eventually calmed down and she finally accepted that I was not the one who insulted her, although my well-intentioned actions were inadvertently the cause of her being insulted. We all then moved into the Man Cave bar for more beers.

Anyway, as an epilogue to the gift drama I did send Ester a message telling her how upset Marissa was. She was aghast and told me she would return the gift. I told her no, it was hers to keep and no one had a problem with that. It was mocking Marissa about it that had caused the issue. She vehemently denied having insulted or mocked Marissa. Again, I was not there so I can’t say. It did seem out of character though because Ester is always very sweet. So I guess that subsequently her and Marissa chatted and worked things out. Everything seemed back to normal in Alley Cats bar last night at least.

So, about last night–it was the Alley Cats Christmas party/dart tournament.

Played like shit in the tourney and my partner played worse, so we didn’t make it to the money round. Ah well, there was plenty of cold beer to occupy my time with.

When the tourney was completed, there was a gift exchange. I was pretty impressed by how generous the bar was with the staff. Marissa got 500 pesos even as a part time employee.

I also enjoyed playing Santa Claus.

It was a good night and a good time. And lest you think that all I do is drink copious amounts of beer…

It is starting to feel like I am finally home.

Just another Saturday night in the Barrio.  It did start out with an amusing twist though.

Cheap Charlies is a bar I frequent on a semi-regular basis, as much because it opens earlier than most places as anything else.  I arrived a bit after 5:00 and found me a seat overlooking the highway.  I was immediately besieged by three thirsty bargirls.  Now my regular drinking companion (Maya) either wasn’t there or was otherwise occupied.  And I very rarely will purchase a lady drink for more than one girl at a time.  But before I could dismiss these vultures soiled doves GROs (guest relations officers) something unlike anything that I’ve ever experienced in a bar occurred.  The gal on my left touched my cheek, said “oh, it’s a blackhead” and asked if she could “get it out for me”.  I shrugged and said sure and she squeezed out a big one.  Then the girl on my right started exploring my face until she found a blackhead of her own to pop.  And the third girl started giving me a back rub.

They all continued on until my face was blackhead free and I was sufficiently relaxed that my resistance to purchasing multiple lady drinks was overcome.  Hey, they had earned a reward, right?  Actually, I rather enjoy having pimples popped and that hasn’t happened since my last wife dumped me.  A little strange to have such an intimate act performed in the bar, but what the hell, it was still pleasant.  Since these girls were all new (to me) my repertoire of jokes were all new as well so I shared them to polite laughter.  And that earned them a second round of drinks.  Yeah, maybe I got played like a newbie but my 1000 peso (about $20) tab seemed like a good deal to me anyway.  The girls were certainly pleased.

Now, I do try to be generous with the people I encounter.  After I left Cheap Charlies I moved over to my regular hangout, Alley Cats.  I ordered some take out food for delivery so the bargirls there could snack on chicken wings and fish and chips.  That set me back 1400 pesos and my bar tab, including several lady drinks, was another 900.  So my Saturday night cost me a total of $65 or so, a little more than normal, but not exactly a budget buster either.  

There is however a fine line between generosity and being played for a fool.  I’m sure I’ve crossed that line on more than one occasion.  But you live and learn.  Hopefully.  Still, when you tend to be a free spender (or at least viewed as one) you create the perception that you are “rich”.  As such you become something of a target whenever someone has a problem.

 I do maintain a budget for charity and I will help out someone in need on occasion.  The sick kid who requires medicine, the electric bill that must be paid before service is cut, overdue taxes, etc.  The tales of woe abound and obviously you can’t help everyone. I’m still trying to figure out when and where to draw the line.

Just this week I’ve had two requests for “loans”.  Now, make no mistake, a loan here means gift.  I “lent” a substantial amount of money to a “friend” in Manila, and despite repeated promises I have not had one penny of that repaid.  She’s still telling me “next week” so maybe one of these days I’ll be pleasantly surprised.  Anyway, it’s Christmas time right now which makes saying “no” to people I’m at least acquainted with all the more difficult.  And really the amounts being requested ($80. and $200.), while not exactly chump change, is not going to break the bank either.  That’s the challenge I guess.  Money I’ll blow on beer and lady drinks without a thought or care could potentially solve a worrisome problem for the women requesting these “loans”.

I don’t want to be a Scrooge nor do I want to be viewed as sucker.  I haven’t as yet decided how I’ll deal with these latest requests, but I’m leaning towards “sorry, but no”.  Or I could go totally evil and ask the hottie who needs $200 to “earn it” (you know, by working under me).  Ah, but that’s not who I am either.

Stay tuned!

*Yep, turns out I used the “Show me the money” title four years ago.  

I mentioned recently how much I *think* I’d enjoy having a girlfriend to Hash with.  And it’s not like I haven’t had opportunities, such as they are.

EDITED:  Sorry, upon reflection I deleted the photo of “Celia” and “Josie”.  I don’t know that I have any readers here in Barrio Barretto, but given the what a small town it is and my desire to avoid trouble I’m playing it safe.  Not my style to self-censor like this, but I just had a bad feeling in this case.

I don’t recall if I’ve talked about them [Celia and Josie] here before.  Shortly after I moved to the PI I met both at a Hash event and we became Facebook friends.  And not surprisingly they asked if I would be their Hash “sponsor”.  That just meant I would pay  their weekly Hash dues, which amounts to the equivalent of $3.00 each.  No big deal, glad to help.  I’d sometimes buy them some food at the after Hash gathering as well.

Anyway, back in August we did a special Hash in Angeles City and the girls asked if they could ride down with me.  Of course, I didn’t have a problem with that.  In fact, I was growing quite fond of Josie.  So I was looking forward to spending an out-of-town weekend with her.  Alas, it was not to be.

I was staying in a hotel near the bar district, and Celia and Josie were staying with “friends” on the other side of town.  I assumed we’d be meeting up at the Hash circle, but they never showed.  And afterwards I expressed my disappointment to them both.  Josie promised to make it up to me the next day, and then did the same no-show act.  And of course at that point I was done with her for good.  Apparently she got a better offer from one of the Angeles Hashers.  Anyway, I chalked it up to it is better to find out her character now as opposed to later.

Now, Celia seemed to be hooking up with a Subic Hasher, Anal Retentive.  At least he started paying her sponsorship fees, which again, was fine by me.  I don’t really know much about AR other than he is building a house in my neighborhood, I see him in the girly bars now and then, and he took my helper’s friend Gina out a couple times.  So my impression is he is not serious about having a steady girlfriend.  AR is currently visiting the USA and Celia has been contacting me via Facebook with increasing regularity.  

I honestly don’t know a lot about Celia (or Josie for that matter).  Celia tells me she is going to school during the day, I’m pretty sure she has at least one kid, and now she has a new job as a dancer at a bar called Coco Lips.  She’s been pestering me to come visit her there so the other night I dropped in.  Celia wasn’t working but to my surprise Josie was dancing on stage.  Wow!

Josie looked really hot in her sexy dance costume and of course I brought her down for a lady drink.  She was friendly enough but really didn’t have much to say.  Maybe she was a little embarrassed to be working in the bar.  I couldn’t help but thinking “damn, she chooses a life of prostitution over being my girlfriend!”.  Oh well, looks like I dodged yet another bullet. 

But back to Celia.  She kept after me to see her at the bar, so I made it back on Thursday.  Not as hot as Josie, but okay I guess.  I bought her a couple of drinks and she gave me a back rub.  I passed out some chocolates to the dancers and wait staff so everyone was happy.  Well, Josie was giving me this look like “aren’t you gonna buy me a drink too?”  Nope, I’m not.  Celia tells me that Josie is one of the more popular girls in the bar and gets barfined (taken out by customers) frequently.  Well, good for her.  If you are going to fuck for money it’s nice to have clients I suppose.

I left Coco Lips after buying Celia two lady drinks.  She told me she would see me at the Hash on Monday.  I guess with Anal Retentive out of town she needs a sponsor.  That’s fine.  Later she sent me a message saying next time she wants to massage me with no clothes on.  I’m not sure if she meant me or her (or both).

Anyway, I don’t have any illusions regarding what this is all about.

Not to worry, I have no interest in Celia other than perhaps a carnal one.  But since she’s now entered the realm of prostitution it sort of puts me off on even that aspect.  I might take her up on that massage offer though.  We’ll see how it goes at the Hash this Monday.

What a life, eh?

…sometimes this old barrio feels like a long last friend.

Okay, enough with the channeling of John Denver. I’m just glad to have escaped the big city relatively unscathed. It’s not that I’m averse to city life, I loved Seoul for example. But something about Manila, even its upscale center Makati, just grates on me. So nice to have left the city sidewalks (such as they were) behind and walk the beaches again today. Got some hugs and sweet loving from my good Buddy too which warms the heart.

The trip was pretty much a fiasco–a waste of time and money. I already wrote about the Philippine Retirement Authority issues. I heard from a commenter on a possible work around as far as the money transfer goes. And another reader emailed telling me his experience with the retirement visa and it didn’t sound very encouraging. So, we’ll see how I choose to proceed. For now it will be another 60 day renewal on the tourist visa.

Last night I was supposed to meet my friend Gem at 7:00 p.m. so she could repay the $1000.00 I loaned her several months ago. Long story short, she never showed. I sat at the Cubana bar drinking beer while I waited. By 10:00 p.m. I was drunk and angry and stumbled on back to my room. I had made arrangements for my driver to fetch me at 5:00 a.m. in an effort to avoid the traffic getting out of town (today is a Filipino holiday). I set the alarm for 4:00 and Danny texted that he had arrived at 4:10. So I hustled up packing and checked myself out of the hotel. Traffic was heavy but moving steadily so that was good. Until we got a flat tire, which sort of serves as a metaphor for my wasted trip.

While waiting in the bar I took these photos of life on P. Burgos Avenue in Manila:

This is the hooker that practically stalked me every time I was out on the street. Didn’t want to take no for an answer, finally had to be rude to get her to back off. Until the next time I was outside, and then she would continue her aggressive pursuit. It got to be a pain in the ass, but even so I felt a little sorry for her.

Now this old woman was just batshit crazy. Pacing up and down in front of Cubana’s bar shouting and laughing and talking to herself. Sometimes she’d veer into the street and cars would have to dodge around her. I felt certain I was going to have to witness seeing her run over. Security tried to run her off, but she always came back. Depressing really.

And what I found most disconcerting was this young girl, what, maybe 12 years old, out on the street. No idea what was going on, I didn’t see her try and talk to anyone passing by and no one said anything to her. The woman in the background was always nearby…not sure if it is her mother or guardian or what. But I first saw them around 3:00 p.m. and they were still there at 9:00. I almost crossed the street to ask the woman to take that child home, she shouldn’t be out on the street with the hookers. But then I remembered where I was and what I am so I kept my mouth shut. Nothing good was likely to come from my getting involved. Again, if I had actually seen anything that looked the girl may be being exploited or otherwise in danger I would have alerted the authorities. Absent that, the foreigner needs to mind his own business in this country.

Did I mention it is good to be home?

If you can’t beat them, join them!

No business to conduct this morning so I took a stroll around the city streets. Damn, I could not live here! Cars and horns galore. And being harassed by the prostitutes. Had a hard time getting my steps in, but I sucked it up and got it done. Leaving early in the morning and looking forward to it.

Here’s some photos I took whilst out and about.

This is my favorite hangout, the Cubana bar. I sit at a table with a nice view of the street.

And enjoy frosty cold beverages like this…

…while watching the hookers plying their trade. It was funny, a few minutes after taking this photo the guy at the next table brought the girl in shorts over for a drink/negotiation. Must have been for short time because she was back out there before I left the bar….

Ready for a game of frogger? Naw, better wait for the next signal change, these guys are rarin’ to go, horns ablaze…

It was nice to see my dog is famous here. Even has a restaurant named after him…

I didn’t know Buddha drank?

Trump. Is there anything he can’t do?

Anyway, all my bitching aside, it is an interesting and rather diverse area. Lots of international cuisine, including Korean, Arabian, Turkish, and Spanish restaurants. But I love this place right across the street from my hotel:

The Filling Station Diner. It’s a throwback bar and grill, with a 1950s Americana motif.

And the food is excellent, albeit a little pricey. Yesterday’s club sandwich was one of the best I’ve had in years….

And this morning’s french toast was also outstanding.

The interior decor was a trip down memory lane…

I’ve seen banana splits, but a ’57 Chevy split? That’s a first!

And I took a moment to harmonize with Elvis before heading out.

And I guess I’ll do some more of the same on my last night in the big city.

…or half empty? Either way, I’m half way through my first year of life in the Philippines. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride so far but I’m making some needed changes in my outlook and I’m feeling much more positive about the future. It’s all about turning failures into opportunities, so I’ve got a lot of good material to work with!

No need to recap all the “trials, tribulations and adventures” I’ve blogged about this past six months. Yes, I’ve made a few mistakes and missteps but that happens when you are learning as you go I suppose. I did kind of fuck up in a new way Friday night though, here’s that story:

So I don’t do the girly bars all that much, but one of my favorites is Alaska bar. It used to be in Angeles City and was the first bar I visited on my first trip to the Philippines all those years ago. I usually buy drinks for Kim, one of the dancers there, on those occasions I do visit. Friday night I wasn’t alone however (that’s a story for another time) so I left Kim on stage. I’d been drinking all night in celebration of my return home so was feeling no pain. And after a few more beers at Alaska I asked the waitress to change a 500 peso bil into ten 50 peso notes.

At this point Kim was dancing on stage with two other girls. I went up and gave each of the other two a 50 peso tip, then sat back down. They both looked at Kim and then at me, and Kim was standing there with a WTF? look on her face. So, I get back up and give both of the other girls another 50 pesos then returned to my seat. Yeah, I know this sounds really fucked up. And yes, it was fucked up. But I was honestly doing it as a joke. Just teasing Kim. Yeah, looking back I can see it wasn’t very funny at all. Anyway, the “punchline” was for me to go back to the stage and say “Oops, I forgot someone” and give Kim a generous tip.

It didn’t work out that way. Kim was pissed. When I tried to hand her some money she refused to take it. I said, c’mon I was kidding around, but she told me “I don’t need your money!” I tried and tried but she wouldn’t budge. It’s a pretty big deal when a girl who makes maybe 300 pesos a day salary refuses a 150 peso tip. I sat back down, finished my beer and left. I was pretty embarrassed at this point.

Anyway, as I usually do I woke up in the middle of the night, sober now, and thought back on the incident at Alaska. And of course I felt like a jerk, all the more so because I had acted like one. Yes, it was not my intention to be demeaning and disrespectful, but that doesn’t change the fact that that is exactly what I was. I felt shitty about that and resolved to make amends. Last night I set about doing so.

I started with a few beers at Cheap Charlies and had a good time for a change. But I had a mission to undertake at Alaska bar so I headed on over. When I walked in the door Kim was on stage but wouldn’t look at me. I sat down and ordered a beer while she continued to ignore me. The other girls knew something was up and there was definitely some tension in the air. I called the waitress over and said I wanted to buy Kim a drink. Kim didn’t want it! Now, that is pretty much unheard of in the bar business. And then the mamasan (the manager of the dancers) intervened. I saw her talking to Kim and I’m sure she basically ordered her to drink with me, like it or not. So Kim very reluctantly joined me at my table.

As shitty as I had felt, I felt even worse now. So I dived into a heartfelt apology. I explained that it was my bad attempt at a joke but that I realized later how it must have made her feel. I told her how sorry I was to have treated her badly and that I would never have intentionally disrespected her that way. And then I pulled out my ace in the hole–some chocolate! I offered up a giant sized Kit Kat bar as a gesture of the sincerity of my apology. And ever so slowly the ice began to melt.

Kim told me that I had always been her favorite customer and that she had really been hurt by my behavior the previous night. She said she actually cried after I had left. Granted, that could all be bullshit but there is no question whatsoever that my behavior had truly hurt her feelings. I again told her that it was not my intent to make her feel bad, it was all just a joke that had gone wrong. I ordered up more drinks and we continued to talk. I learned more about her and it actually turned out to be a very nice evening. I gave her a 1000 peso tip (about $20 or one week’s salary) which of course made her night and we parted with our friendship intact.

I always try to treat the bargirls with respect. They have an incredibly difficult job and dealing with assholes makes it all the harder. My actions were totally out of line and out of character for me. It won’t happen again you can count on that! I came away with a new found respect for Kim as well. She had stood her ground admirably and made it clear that even though her body may be, her pride was not for sale. Keep on rockin’, Kim!

Another lesson learned. I’m confident I’m going to do the next six months better than I did these past ones. Onward!

“you must first accept that while there are things that have happened in your life that you had no say in, you are 100 percent responsible for what you do with your life in the aftermath of those events. Always, every time, no excuses.”
–Gary John Bishop “Unfuck Yourself”