This or this?

Although I doubt anyone thinks of me as a “hipster”.  Whatever the hell that is.

“I sort of think the six-pack abs obsession got so prissy it stopped being masculine,” is how Aaron Hicklin, the editor of Out, explains the emergence of the Ralph Kramden. What once seemed young and hot, for gay and straight men alike, now seems passé. Like manscaping, spray-on tans and other metrosexual affectations, having a belly one can bounce quarters off suggests that you may have too much time on your hands.

And I especially liked what Althouse had to say on her blog about it:

Why does there need to be any special reason for a man to have a potbelly? It’s the natural tendency. You only need a reason not to have a potbelly, and it needs to be good enough to offset the natural tendency.

I just wish she had stopped there, because I could have done without this:

The fact is, it is more important for a man to fight the natural rounding of the belly than it is for a woman, because a round belly is feminizing. It speaks of fertility and pregnancy. The “pregnant man” has never been a good look.

You know, I’ve pretty much reached the point where I just accept my roundness.  Living in a country full of extraordinarilly thin people is balanced out somewhat by the large Buddhist population.  I mean, how many people can truthfully say they have the body of a God?

Yeah, yeah, six pack abs are ok too.  But why stop there?  I’ve got a freakin’ keg goin’ on here!

And I occasionally where shorts…

Everything went accordingly to plan.  I was blissfully in my “happy place” for most of the procedure.  Best news of the day, I don’t have to do another one for 3 years!

I’m in for some heavy drinking tonight.  Two gallons worth to be exact.  Yes, as you might have surmised, I’m doing my prep for tomorrow’s colonoscopy.  The chicken broth will be my “dinner”.  My instructions are to drink 8 ozs every ten minutes until I burst.  No, that’s not what the solution I imbibe is gonna make me do, but that is probably more detail than you want to hear (or I care to share).

I did this last year, so I know what I’m in for.  The procedure itself isn’t so bad since they drug you up real good.  But the prep is a pain in the ass (heh).  No coffee or diet cokes today and a bowl of soup for lunch.  I go under the scope (or more aptly, the scope goes into me) at 0930, so I don’t imagine I’ll starve between now and then.

But it is a hassle and I’ll be glad when it’s over.

Hasta la vista!

I hope you like the change here at LTG.

Yes, I’m talking about the new masthead design.  And yes, that was the change I mentioned was coming a couple of weeks ago.  Not anything major like some of you speculated perhaps, but after nearly 5 years I thought it was time for a new look.  I always envied the K-blogs with a cool Korea photograph as their masthead.  It just seems appropriate somehow.  So, when I saw this photograph:

I thought “hey, that would make a great masthead for my blog!”  If I am not mistaken, this bridge is called Hangang Taegyo (The Great Han River Bridge).  Originally built in 1917 and destroyed in the early days of the Korean War.  Rebuilt in 1958.  It is certainly not the most impressive bridge crossing the river, but there is an understated class and elegance about it, don’t you think?  Like an aging movie queen who maintains her dignity and grace.  Eh, I think that might be a tad over the top.  I just like the photo ok?

The photographer, Dave New, is a guy I’ve played darts with for years and in fact we will be teammates this season on the Rubbies.  He is *almost* as good at darts as he is with the camera.  Check out his impressive work here.  Thanks again Dave for allowing me to use your photograph!

So, what do you think about my new look?

My previous post “Time for a change” was in retrospect a bit more cryptic than I intended.  And then I inadvertantly exacerbated the situation by not posting any updates.  Which generated a couple of comments:

What?
Got married?
Got fired?
Got impailed by a Korean dart?
Got invited to defect to NK?

Com’on, John. . . .

Or heaven forbid, gave up your blog?????

Comment by dentoku — 05/June/2009 @ 9:37 pm |Edit This

It’s a surprise

Been there, done that

Not yet, but I’m going to fire myself in 18 months

I’ve managed to avoid being stuck, struck, poked or punctured thus far.

No, but I did have a dream once that I participated in a commando raid to assaianate kill Kim Jong Il.

I expect this blog will be around as long as I am, for better or worse.

Korea is my home now.

The change is coming, or so I’m told.  Look for it!

Stay tuned.

Just scored a domination victory in CIV IV.  My highest score ever–11,664!

Just thought you’d like to know.

Although in my case, it is costing.  Not much and I did it pretty much on a lark.  Yes, today I purchased some Google Ads.  Another effort in my struggle to recover from the theft of my domain.  I’ve not seen any of the ads, but they should be appearing randomly throughout the K-blogosphere.  I just checked the Google Ad stats and one person actually clicked on an ad.  Set me back 66 cents.  Sir or Madam, I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

Anyway, I only pay when I get a hit and my total budget is fifty bucks.  I’ll be amazed if I get enough hits to max that out, but you never know.

So, if you came here through an ad and are wondering what Long Time Gone is all about, well, you tell me.  This blog is a virtual cornacopia of potporri.  Which is another way of saying it is about everything and nothing at all.  I write what I feel like writing whenever I feel like writing about what I’m feeling, doing, feel like doing, or wishing I was doing.  And sometimes I write nothing at all.  I ain’t much on grammar nor spelling, but I take no offense at criticism in that regard neither.  Feedback is a gift, so feel free to spill your guts in the comment section.

Like me, this here blog is a work in progress.  Stop by anytime you like and see what’s up.  Expect to be disappointed and perhaps occasionally pleasantly surprised.   As Stephen Stills opined: “It’s no matter, no distance–it’s the ride.”  Whatever that means…

And now it’s time to say goodbye from here at Long Time Gone

And I would like to thank you folks for kindly loggin’ on

You’re all invited back again to this locality

To have a heapin’ helpin’ of my hospitality…

Y’all come back now, hear?

(with apologies to the Beverly Hillbillies)

Well having the blog back is like hooking up with an old friend. It’s gonna take some time to rebuild the readership (the few, the proud). The biggest problem is letting folks know where I am. Not like you can do a change of address card at the Internet Post Office. Although that’s not a bad idea.

I have emailed a couple of the major K-bloggers and asked them to help me spread the word. I also went through my comments and emailed those folks my new domain address. So, we’ll see.

I guess I could also try and put up some quality posts and make this a daily “must read” site. Nah, just kidding.

I suppose it is fair to say that no one is really interested in hearing about another person’s nocturnal dreams. Except maybe their shrink. Having said that, let me share what I remember of my dream last night.

I was the only American with a group of South Koreans that infiltrated North Korea. Not sure what our mission was and we weren’t being all that discreet, because we were openly hanging about some market-like place. Then out of nowhere, Kim, Jong Il spots us. Turns out we were armed with axes. One of the South Koreans who was our leader had this long handled axe and I noted mine was better suited to chopping kindling than a Norks’ head. Didn’t matter because our leader promptly whacked Mr. Kim and declared himself the new ruler of the North. Not sure if that was going to result in the long anticipated reunification, but it did have a feeling of mission accomplished.

Shortly thereafter I encounter the senior Mr. Kim Il Sung, apparently returned from the dead. I pushed him down a long flight of stairs and he was dead (again) by the time he hit the bottom.

I reported this fact to my comrades and received nods of approval. Then I woke up.

You know, where else on the internet are you going to find crap like this? It’s my pleasure to bring it to you.

Cheers!

and I guess I’ve been a long time gone…

I’m kinda sorta thinking about resurrecting this here blog of mine. Not that I expect to have anything profound to say, but I do miss the connection writing here gives me to the outside world. No question about it, I’ve been deep in my cocoon living a very, very insular life of late.

That may not change anytime soon, but what the hell. It’s probably just me here by now anyway.

So, what’s been going on with me? Pretty much the same old, same old. Least that how it feels. But I guess when you are living for the day, one day starts to seem like all the others somehow. No complaints and no real worries to express. I’ve been blessed I know, and even if things are not how I would most want them to be, they ain’t too damn bad either. So, that’s about as profound as things get here at LTG.

My new job has really turned out to be quite the challenge, although that was not unexpected. What surprises me a little is how I’ve responded. I guess it’s fair to say I’ve been pretty much coasting career-wise these past several years. Lost the fire if you get my meaning. This job doesn’t allow just “showing up”, there are high demands and high expectations from command leadership and it is not in my nature to let my bosses down. And this stuff is much bigger than me, there are many people impacted by decisions I make and I’ll be damned if I am going to fail through lack of effort. Which is the long way of saying I’ve been working hard lately.

I really don’t (and can’t) talk about work specifics, but I’ve been taking on some pretty high profile taskings which require direct interaction with many general officers, including the commander. I actually had to step up and tell him he was about to take a path that would inevitably end badly. I got one of those 4-star stares and a rather blunt response, but to his credit, he listened and took a different course of action. That was a day I went home feeling like I’d earned my pay for sure. Of course, being two years out from retirement I’ve got enough job security that courage comes a little easier for me than it might for others. What are they going to do, take away my birthday?

I do find the interactions between these general officers quite fascinating to observe. I have tremendous respect for these leaders who are for the most part quite brilliant. They could certainly be executives or CEOs in the private sector making big bucks, but they have devoted their lives to military service and I can’t help but honor that. At the end of the day, they are just like the rest of us with all the human quirks and warts, but they also have a special quality about them. Confidence in abundance to be sure, but what really impresses me is the ability to see the big picture and quickly grasp the myriad details of complex issues and to make generally sound decisions and provide direction. Leadership at its essence.

Anyway, work is hard but it has its rewards. My personal life will remain for the most part personal, but I’ve weathered a rough patch and think I came out of it pretty well for the most part. Even after four years here though I still struggle with the annual ritual of saying goodbye to people I’ve grown rather fond of. C’est la vie.

Had a rather difficult dart season. My illness mid-season affected everything in my life, and it took me several weeks to get back on my game. I did manage to finish 8th in the league, which was satisfying given the way I had been playing.

This was my last season with Sliders, as the team is breaking up. In part this was no surprise. Matt returned to the States, and Alistair went back to Scotland. They were the top two players on the team. One of the other guys apparently had some issues with our bar sponsor and decided not to return. I’m not sure what other dynamics were at play, but I really don’t care for the bullshit, I just want to play darts to the best of my ability and have fun doing it.

Anyway, I tried to hook on with the other Dolce Vita “A” division team, but they had (or thought they had) more players than they needed. So, I finangled an invite to play with the neighbor bar, Bless U. I really hate leaving Dolce, but the Blue Bulls are a bunch of good guys and I enjoy hanging out with them, so I’m looking forward to the upcoming season.

So, I guess that pretty much brings you up to date on my so-called life. It’s in my mind to get regular again as far as posting here. But I’ve promised that before, haven’t I?

I am doing better with each passing day. It is good to report that I am almost feeling normal again (normal being a relative term when applied to me I suppose).

Still not sure what is going on inside, went to the on-base hospital and saw a military doctor. He doesn’t know either, but at least we could talk about it in English. They took some blood and other bodily fluids for testing, so we’ll see in a few days if they find anything significant.

It is good to have my appetite and sense of taste back. Not sure what caused it, but things like beer and diet Coke suddenly were very bitter tasting. Had me concerned, but I have quaffed a few brews this weekend and all appears normal (eh, there’s that word again).

I have not smoked for two weeks now. And it is killing me. Sometimes I ache for a cigarette, but so far I have managed to exercise more self control than I’m usually capable of maintaining. The real test was playing in a dart tourney yesterday, an event that would normally have me chain smoking a pack or more. Chomped on some gum and craved tobacco like a madman and somehow made it through another day. Wish me luck with this. I have already lost the disgusting smoker’s cough and I keep reminding myself that not ingesting poison smoke may add a few years to retired life, but addiction is not always rationale. So we shall see what happens.

Speaking of the dart tourney, I won the doubles portion. My darts have been shit all season, and the nearly month long hiatis during travel and illness didn’t help my game either. Anyway, I threw much better yesterday which is encouraging. Still not back to where I was, but hopefully I’ve turned the corner on my downward spiral.

Thanks to all who have expressed concern and get well-wishes for me. It means a lot.

Still alive and (mostly) kickin’. I’m just not able to muster the energy to post these days. Other than work and my personal life, everything is going great. But I’m ok.

Short version:

My boss left Korea yesterday. I’m acting Director and one of the referred candidates for taking the job permanately. Que sera, sera.

I’m playing .500 darts this season. Some moments of brillance sandwiched with amazing mediocrity.

I am spending the long 4th of July weekend in the Philippines. I really need a break.

I will be going back to the USA for the last two weeks of July. A week in Massachussetts and time with family in South Carolina.

I don’t know when I will post again. My life has become a bit of joke these days. I really hate being mocked.

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them. Words shrink thoughts that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost your dearly, only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you said at all or why you thought it so important you almost cried when you were saying it.

–Stephen King
(from memory, may not be 100% accurate. So sue me.)

I’m a bit disgusted with myself these days. I’m somewhat overwhelmed with a convergence of events and I am not pleased with how I am handling it. Last night I have to admit I was pretty much a drunken asshole. I got really pissed at a dart opponent and said some things I regret. Later, a friend told me about some behavoir I do not even recall, but it had pissed him off immensely. So, today I am lamenting my actions and trying to resolve to be a better person in the days to come.

Not sure how to go about that at this point, but perhaps I will be struck with some insights soon. Or not. Best I can do for now is try to pull my head out of my ass and stop worrying about what I can’t control.

I hear some people been talkin’ me down
Bring up my name, pass it round
They don’t mention the happy times
They do their thing, I do mine.

–Neil Young

So I had the skin graft surgery yesterday. I had actually about 90% changed my mind as I figured I could clean and dress the finger until it healed up properly. But when I got there, the receptionist slapped a hospital bracelet on me, and motioned for me to follow her. So, we walk through the first floor lobby, up a flight of stairs, reverse direction and walk through pediatrics, neurosurgery (lots of people lining the walls in PJs waiting with Night of the Living Dead-like expressions. Scary.) up another flight of stairs, through some double doors, and into the surgery clinic.

Where my surgery team awaited. In our mutually limited means of communication, they were asking about anathesia and if I wanted to sleep. I said I wasn’t real keen on pain, but I would prefer to stay awake. So we agreed on a local. I reiterated that I was not staying in the hospital and the doc nodded and said “yeah, you go home”. So, I was instructed to undress and put on the surgical clothes (not one of those backless gowns thank god) and I was escorted to the operating room.

I got the full treatment. There were 3 nurses and 3 doctors. And I’m thinking how much is this going to cost me? I had called Blue Cross and although Soonchonkyang Hospital is on the preferred provider list, outpatient treatment is paid out of pocket and I file the claim afterwards for direct reimbursement. So, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen if the costs exceeded my available funds, but at this point there was no turning back.

We had agreed to take the needed skin from the same hand (that fleshy area (heel?) at the bottom of my hand. I had told the surgeon “dartsuh” and made my throwing motion and he actually understood and assured me I would be good to play in a week. So they proceed to clean up my hand. But when he cleaned the wound I about jumped out of my skin. I am sure I must have a nerve ending exposed or something, because it feels like an electrical shock in a root canal kinda way when touched. Then the doc said “injection and pain” and while the injections were in fact painful (like stepping on a nail) it was not so bad comparitively speaking. He didn’t wait too long to start messing with the finger though and I had to express my discomfort with the internationally recognized “goddamn, that hurts!”. Loudly. I’m guessing he was thinking he should have just put me to sleep, but he gave me another round of injections. Which allowed sufficient time for the first round to take effect and my hand became comfortably numb.

After that, everything was cool. It was a little disconcerting hearing everything (they had put a screen where I couldn’t watch, not that I wanted too). I didn’t catch much of the conversation of course, but it sounded an awful lot like the doctors were flirting with the nurses. Laughter from the docs and shy giggles from the nurses. Anyway, that is what I choose to believe they were talking about. I was just glad I didn’t hear “Aigo!” (roughly translates to damn. At least that is how I use it).

Took about 30 minutes. I was taken back to my clothes, told to go see the receptionship, was given a prescription and a bill for 423,000 Won (around $425.) I go back at 1100 today I think to get my head stiches looked at. Not sure what the drugs are supposed to do. If they are for pain, they don’t work. I wound taking a leftover Percocet last night and slept well. Feel pretty good today and plan to be back at work after my appointment.

Well that is the story. It seems a shame that this is the only thing I have to blog about. But I figure why not share the pain? My readers have come to expect no less.