So yesterday’s date with Jessa went fine for the most part. But something seemed a little off in a way I can’t put my finger on just yet. The date started with her arriving 30 minutes late. I get the whole “Filipina time” cultural thing, but it is still a little offputting. We dined at the Arizona resort, the first time I’ve eaten at one of my favorite restaurants since this whole COVID pandemic hysteria ruined the world as we knew it.

Jessa had a T-bone steak (950 pesos!) and I went with the grilled chicken breast. After our meal, she wasn’t interested in walking back to my place so we took a trike. Upon arrival, I made us some banana smoothies (she preferred no strawberries!) for dessert. Then we opened up some beers and settled into the couch to watch a couple of episodes of The Outsider. It’s based on a Stephen King novel I haven’t read. We’ve watched five of the ten episodes now and I’d rate it a solid “okay”.

Then we went upstairs for boom-boom which was more satisfying than watching television for sure. She really is a sensuous young woman with a very sexy body. Even though she doesn’t shave her legs. Afterward, she asked for a massage which I gladly provided. She didn’t offer to reciprocate. She likes to cuddle when we sleep. I rolled over while sleeping and was hugging a pillow and she nudged me to come back and hold her instead.

Later in the night I actually dreamed about her. In the dream, she told me she loved me. When I awoke and laid there thinking about it I wasn’t sure how that made me feel. And that’s pretty much how I’ve felt since. Ambivalent maybe. Or maybe it’s all just too soon. Or maybe I’m just a fucked up mess when it comes to relationships. I don’t know, maybe I’ll figure it out. There’s nothing wrong with Jessa, like I said, it just feels “off” somehow.

This morning I was up a couple of hours before her. I made up a batch of blueberry muffins and served them with bacon and eggs. She seemed to enjoy the meal. I sent her home with a bottle of wine, some leftover muffins, and a bag of candy for her daughter. As I walked her to the trike stand she asked me if expected her to join me at the Hash. I told her honestly that I didn’t want her to feel obligated to do ANYTHING with me that she didn’t really want to do. I said I know you have no interest in Hashing or hiking but I appreciated her asking me about it. Then I put her in a trike and sent her home.

So, that’s the down and dirty on the date. Again, for the most part, it was quite enjoyable. She’s good company, good looking, has some passion about her, and enjoys getting physical. I don’t know why I’m not crazy about her.

Met up with the guys a little later and we did a long, mostly flat, 11K hike.

After the hike, we visited Harley’s on Baloy beach for lunch and beers.

The other news is that as of today we are now under Modified General Community Quarantine (MGCQ). I’m not sure what that will mean in terms of things that matter (like bars reopening) but at least there is this:

I reckon that’s progress in the right direction. In these trying times perhaps that’s the best we can hope for. Says the 64-year-old man who can’t figure out why he’s not crazy about a hot 32-year-old who seems to be into him.

Is that a first world or a third world problem?

Well, I did get off my lazy ass this morning and took a good old fashion solitary hike.

That’s more steps than I’ve managed in the last two days combined. I’ll get out for another brief walk later this afternoon if things go as planned.

My downstairs neighbor died this week (the guy who lived in the servant’s room under my house). He’d been fighting advanced diabetes for quite some time. They amputated his leg recently and he never made it back out of the hospital. Rest in Peace, Tony.

Otherwise, nothing much has changed around here. Well, I did have a nice chat with the ex and told her I had no problem maintaining a friendship but the girlfriend thing wasn’t going to happen. She seemed accepting of that proposition so we’ll see. I also told her I would help finance her return to Manila. Hey, what are friends for?

I also chatted some with Jessa and I’m still not sure what the next step is for us and whether I’m ready to take it. I’m such a coward when it comes to love. I guess I’ll just wait and see what happens.

In the meantime, I’ll just walk on.

Sorry for the lack of posting yesterday. Tuesday is normally an easy day for blogging, just throw up some photos from Monday’s Hash. But then things got weird.

How weird? Well, the ex-GF showing up to the Hash weird. Granted, she’s got the right and I don’t begrudge her that. She is friends with some of the female Hashers after all. It was a short trail and she was up ahead of me for almost all the hike. Back at the On-Home, she’d fetch me a beer when I was empty but didn’t spend much time with me and I was fine with that too. I left before the circle activities were completed because they ran out of light beer and I’d probably had enough to drink anyway. The ex followed me out of the Hash. Well, the way home did go past her house so I could understand it. When we got to her place she said she wanted to come home with me and see the dogs. I told her no and kept on walking. I was surprised when I looked back and saw she was following me. So I stopped and asked her what was up. She again said she wanted to stay with me. I told her no, that’s not going to happen. After a little back and forth, I walked off alone.

The whole thing threw me for a loop so I decided to pop into “Gomans” for a beer to clear my mind. The ex started sending text messages that I tried to ignore. And then Jessa messaged me which was a pleasant distraction. Meanwhile, I kept on drinking. And I don’t remember much after that. I got home safely and before curfew so there’s that.

I felt like shit yesterday but I got my visa renewed and went grocery shopping. The ex messaged me an apology and said she was going to sell all her stuff (most of which I bought for her) and move back to Manila. I wished her good luck. Apparently, in my drunkenness the night before I had invited Jessa to the house. I wasn’t really in the mood to see anyone but I felt bad because her side of town had a scheduled all day “brownout” while the electric company did maintenance. So, I kept the date. She arrived in the early afternoon and I grilled up some hamburgers for lunch.

After our meal, we watched some TV. I had some hair of the dog that bit me (beer) and started feeling a little better. Jessa drank wine. I’m not sure who started feeling frisky first, but after awhile we were making out on the couch. She’s a passionate kisser, I’ll grant her that. Things were heating up and I invited her to come to my bedroom, but she declined saying she is not ready yet. Okay then. It was reminiscent of those days with my high school girlfriend–getting all fired up but then no follow-through. I told her as much and she just laughed and said “next time”.

We watched some more TV and continued drinking. Then with curfew fast approaching I told her I would walk her out to the trike stand to get a ride back home. As we walked I could tell she was quite inebriated. A few minutes down the road she surprised me, saying she wanted to spend the night, provided I promise to abide by her no intercourse dictate. Gentleman that I am I did so and kept my vow. It was hard though. *ahem*

Anyway, Jessa likes to cuddle and it was nice to have a warm body next to me again. I woke up early as usual but she stayed in bed until almost eight. Made my standard bacon, egg, and toast breakfast for her which she seemed to enjoy. I walked Jessa and the dogs to the trike stand and gave her a peck goodbye. And that was that.

I’ve been out of sorts all day today and I’m not exactly sure why. For some reason, I’m feeling bad for the ex, sympathy for her situation perhaps or maybe just missing the good parts of what we shared. Jessa is much more passionate and I’m almost certain she’ll give me a better girlfriend experience, but I don’t know what is making me hesitate. Maybe it is just too soon. Anyway, I’ll figure it out eventually I suppose.

How messed up am I? Well, I haven’t done any walking for two days now which is a big deal for me. I’ll try and get back with the program tomorrow.

It’s all so strange.

Just a quick post before I head out for today’s Hash. I suspect that I will be in no condition to blog when I return from that endeavor. Not that I’ve got much to share now either, but what I’ve got is yours!

I’m not sure what it is about the Sunday lockdown, but they really do a number on me. I let things get up all in my head where they fester to the point of depression. And it really is my fault. Across the bridge in Subic, there is no lockdown and I could easily make my way there to get some walking in and clear my mind a little. But nope, I just make excuses and don’t do shit. Anyway, it’s somewhat better now and maybe come next weekend I can be a little more disciplined. We’ll see.

So, in the depths of my despair, I’m scrolling through the Quora forums and I randomly came across this:

So I’m 72 and a bachelor never married, no kids. And not lonely. To tell you the truth, there’s lots of peace and quiet around my apartment, I like that. Altho certainly it would be nice to have a “Besty” but I’ve found that relationships are a real give and take thing and I just like the idea of me doing what I want and not having someone over my back, giving me suggestions/advice every day all the time, (not that every relationship is like that but….) or having to get their approval to do something. You call it loneliness, I call it freedom. If your not happy with what’s flying around inside your head, well, you gotta do something about that, and depending on someone else may work for you or the 2 of you but someday, your gonna be alone and if you don’t know how to handle it its gonna be a rough ride. I realize that I’m probably going to be one of those that end up dead in their apartment, but thats ok, I’ll have lived my life how I wanted.

Man oh man, I really admire that old geezer. He has achieved the state of mind I long for. Whether I can actually get to that level of bliss is another matter, but his words were inspirational regardless.

I’m still not clear on where things are going with Jessa. The potential is there for something special I think but she has a relationship to end before we can really get started. I have no reason to doubt that she is as she claims “worth waiting for” but I’ve never been a patient man. Although she calls what we are doing “dating” it sure doesn’t feel that way to me. Especially the part about nothing physical happening between us.

Anyway, on the plus side, I’m enjoying our online banter. Jessa’s got a good head on her shoulders and a better command of English than anyone I’ve “dated” for years. Today I shared some poetry with her and she professed to like it. A girlfriend I could recite poetry to would indeed be something special. Here’s one I shared with her:

It was a night of early spring,
The winter-sleep was scarcely broken;
Around us shadows and the wind
Listened for what was never spoken.

Though half a score of years are gone,
Spring comes as sharply now as then—
But if we had it all to do
It would be done the same again.

It was a spring that never came;
But we have lived enough to know
That what we never have, remains;
It is the things we have that go.

Sare Teasdale

Oh well, I’m going to take it slow and easy (as if I have a choice) and see where it leads. Perhaps by some miracle, I will come to enjoy being alone with myself and not need to engage in these fruitless pursuits of love. Probably not though.

Time to Hash. I can maybe clear my head on trail and then drown whatever sorrows remain at the On-Home.

On-On!

Yesterday’s “date at home” went just fine, thank you very much. No surprises, no disappointments. Well, I did teasingly suggest a nap after the movie and she declined with a “maybe next time”.

Chili came out good I think. Jessa finished hers which I always take to be a good sign. And yes, I added pineapple chunks again. Sue me. Brownies with vanilla ice cream made for a tasty dessert as well.

Jessa seemed to enjoy the movie, laughing in all the appropriate spots and nudging me when the dialog struck close to home re: my messed up love life. It was pleasant being snuggled up with her on the couch for a couple of hours. I didn’t get frisky other than gently rubbing her leg now and then. Oh, and she doesn’t shave her legs. Not that that bothers me, just hadn’t seen it (or felt it) in quite a while.

We chatted a bit after the movie then I walked her to the highway so she could get a trike home. A quick peck on the lips goodbye and that was our date. I imagine we’ll do it again one day soon. Still no idea where this might lead, but I guess that’s what the adventure is all about.

Speaking of adventure and the potential to fall, I’ll be hiking with Scott this morning up to Tralala, the highest point in Olongapo. It’s a lot of steps and then a decent climb. Did it once before and thought to myself “never again”. For some reason, I actually suggested it today. We’ll have my driver drop us in Gordon Heights so we can begin our ascent at full energy levels.

I’m doing this post now on the chance that I’ll be in no condition to do so by the time I make it back home. We shall see!

On the cusp of a kinda sorta first date this afternoon. Although I’ve considered the repercussions, good and bad, about taking these tentative steps towards a potential relationship, I’m afraid I don’t have any great insights on just what I might be getting myself into. Does anyone ever though?

Here’s what I do know. I’ve been acquainted with Jessa for two years now. I made some effort back when we first met to make her my girlfriend, to no avail. I realized later that it was my own cowardice in putting myself at risk by pursuing a potential loving romance that doomed any chance of success. I felt like I was better off safe than sorry and I’ve pretty much been sorry ever since.

The past several days I’ve been chatting online at length with Jessa. I really appreciate the fact that she can carry her end of the conversation better than most. She is perceptive and offers some significant insights. She can also be brutally honest, but I kinda like that too. She has a great sense of humor and also seems to get mine which is always nice. I can tell already that she will not hesitate to challenge and push me as she deems necessary. Time will tell how she reacts when I push back. She is, however, open-minded and appears to have a healthy appreciation for the physical aspects of a relationship. At least she verbalizes them, time will tell if she is willing to demonstrate them in person.

On the downside, Jessa is exactly half my age. That’s really not a big deal in this culture, but it can be a bit disconcerting and somewhat intimidating. She has a 6-year-old daughter I’ve yet to meet but Jessa seems impressed by my experience as a single father (back when I was her age. Yikes!). I’m not sure at this point what else we may have in common, but I do know that Jessa is not into the hiking aspects of my life. I admit that it is a bit disappointing because I’ve fantasized about having someone to share my walking and Hashing experiences.

So, going into today’s date I’m keeping my expectations in check. I’m looking at it as having some pleasant company for the afternoon so I doubt I’ll be disappointed. I’ve got a batch of chili in the crockpot and I’ll bake up some brownies for dessert. Like many Filipinas, Jessa enjoys watching Korean dramas so I’m going to share one of my old-time favorites, My Sassy Girl, with her. After that, who knows? I’ve got plenty of beer. Or maybe a nap.

Here are some photos from yesterday’s walk that Scott took:

And that’s where things ended. Now to get ready for what may (or may not) be a new beginning.

Stay tuned!

UPDATE: It seems I used the “here we go again” post title way back in 2009. That’s from those days when I use to write about meaningful stuff like politics. What impressed me the most though was the robust and heartfelt discussion in the comments. Well, I’m still getting great feedback from the few that still come by to read my diary. Thanks for that!

Well, at least I have a good excuse for not posting yesterday. I had the “pleasure” of experiencing life without electricity for over 24 hours. I think the only longer period of living without power I’ve experienced was going several days in the dark after a hurricane in Virginia way back when. No more, please!

In somewhat related news, the rainy season also has arrived in full force, driven by some tropical depression/storm off the coast. Two days of the wet stuff precluded getting any meaningful hiking accomplished.

As for the bark in my convoluted post title, it went down like this. No power=no aircon or fans. So, I went to bed with my sliding glass door open. Sometime around 0300 a dog started barking. Now, the neighbors on the next street over have a passel of dogs that always bark. But when my doors and windows are closed it pretty much drowns out the noise (especially when I’m running my fans). So, I get up and close the door, lay back down, and sure enough, the barking resumes, just as loud as ever. It sounded like it was right out in front of my house. So I get up and go out on the balcony and sure enough, some fucking dog was in the street barking at my house (or maybe Buddy and Lucky through the glass, but they weren’t responding). I yelled for him to shut up and he took off down the street. As soon as I crawled back in bed, he returned and commenced his barking routine again. This time I went downstairs, grabbed my walking stick, and chased the bastard down the street in my bare feet and underwear. I’m sure that sight would have scared anyone, including the rude dog who left me alone for the remainder of the night.

Anyway, that’s the roundabout way of saying I had a very depressing day yesterday. The worst I can remember in a long, long time in fact. And here I am on the other side of it, relatively unscathed.

It wasn’t all bad though. I heard from two old girlfriends that hadn’t been in touch for quite some time. Not sure if it was a coincidence or maybe they still read the blog. Anyway, it was nice to be remembered. I’ve also made some tentative contact with a gal on the Date in Asia site. Her profile says she lives in Olongapo, but now she tells me she moved to Pampangna (about an hour from here). We’ll see how that goes.

The big news (relatively speaking) is I’m having dinner/supper/late lunch guests at the house this afternoon. Jessa and her entourage of friends (Kat, RuRu, and Mylene) will be joining me. Apparently during my aborted courtship of Jessa last year I had invited them to experience my cooking. So I am going to fulfill that obligation. Doing up some baby back ribs and grilled pork chops.

I don’t expect I’ll get lucky as two of the gals (Jessa and Ru Ru) have boyfriends that I know of, not sure about the others. Still, it should be fun to have some company to entertain.

Today’s “interesting” photo is from the Jeepney stop on the road out of my subdivision.

So, David Chappelle is a comedian I like and he pretty much calls folks out as he sees fit, regardless of their politics. Of course, I don’t always agree with him, but he’s funny in a non-PC kinda way that if pretty rare these days. Here’s his latest:

So, he goes after one of my favorite right-leaning commenters, Candace Owens, saying:

“I don’t care if he personally kicked Candace Owens in her stanky pussy I don’t know if it stanks, but I imagine it does. If I ever find out, I’ll let you know for sure.”

And how did Ms. Owens respond? In a fashion that is kinda extraordinary in these humorless times:

To every Democrat tweeting me the clip of #DaveChappelle insulting me:

I’m not a leftist. I have a sense of humor & I think comedians SHOULD make fun of people.

Dave Chappelle is one of the greatest comedians of all time and I made it into one of his specials.

That’s POWER!

We’ve arrived too suddenly into a culture where people can’t laugh at themselves, or want to restrain comedians.

I will never be a part of that culture. @DaveChappelle —you are legend and I’d love to meet you and challenge you to say any of that to my face!

All love!

She’s my hero!

And just because I’m an asshole, here’s an old picture of me from when I was older and heavier.

Good days and bad days come and go. But a dog’s love is always there.

Oh boy, what a day. Lockdown Sundays are the worst in no small part because of the way I react to them. Which is basically just being flat out unmotivated. Nope, couldn’t even be bothered to post my usual drivel here at LTG.

Anyway, I tried to make the best of it. Downloaded Stephen King’s The Stand. I made it through the first two hours before the beer kicked in and I lost interest. I’ll get back to it though, I’m sure. I was always a big King fan, although these days his politics get on my nerves. I read The Stand when it was first published way back when then I read it again when the expanded version (much better IMO) came out. The film version (made for television) was released in 1994. I’m sure I saw it but honestly didn’t remember it much. What stood out was seeing people like Molly Ringwald and Rob Lowe back when they were in their prime. Molly has a sweet “girl next door” look about her that I find attractive. Not bad for a white girl.

After pausing the movie I actually hung out with my Filipino neighbors in the back yard for a while. First time I’d done that. And yes, drinking was involved. The conversations were mostly in Tagalog so I didn’t have much participation but it was an okay change of pace.

Later that night things went to shit big time. I’m still processing that event and I’m not prepared to write about it here. Suffice to say it was the worst experience I’ve had in a very long time.

I really, really need to get off my ass and start taking steps to make some positive changes in my life. I’ve been in a “satisficing” mode for too long and to my own detriment. I believe I deserve better but it’s up to me to make that happen.

Ah well, going to Hash today and maybe that will help clear my head. Or drown my sorrows.

Time is a one way street. So why does the past loom so large?

You know it’s a slow day in paradise when I’m reduced to blogging about a dream. Actually though, I don’t remember the dream that woke me from my slumber last night even though I told myself to not forget it. Ah well.

What I do recall is laying in bed unable to go back to sleep and thinking about things. And one of the things I thought about was a TV show I used to enjoy called Newhart. Or to be more precise, I was thinking about the final episode of that series, which surprising aired 30 years ago this month. Man, that makes me feel old!

For you youngsters or those who’s middle of the night memory is not as strong as mine, the Newhart show starred Bob Newhart as Dick Loudon, an innkeeper in rural Vermont. Mr. Newhart had previously starred in The Bob Newhart Show as a psychologist in Chicago. The Newhart series concluded after eight seasons with the Loudon character waking up as Dr. Hartley in Chicago. Yep, everything that happened during the show in Vermont had only been a dream.

Anyway, the point of all this, to the extent I have one, is just that I got to thinking about how I would feel if I woke up back in my Korea life, and all that has happened since that time was only a bizarre dream. I guess not knowing the answer to that kept me awake for a while.

Do I miss Korea? Yes, I do. Do I long for the relative stability and comfort I used to enjoy when I was married? Sometimes, although I don’t often allow myself the luxury of thinking about that very often. And on the flip side; do I regret moving to the Philippines? No, I can’t say that I do. Am I happy here? Hmm, perhaps not as much as I thought I would be. This is not to say there is anything wrong with my life, just perhaps that it is not all that I hoped for.

That’s the rub, I suppose. Looking back on the year I spent in Anjeong-ri, I realize now that I missed a great opportunity to embrace and enjoy that experience. Instead, I was so wrapped up in what I didn’t have there and what I was looking forward to here, that I forgot to fully live the life I had. So last night was wrestling both the demons of the past and the fears of the present. I’m not sure I came to any resolution before sleep finally overcame my troubled mind. I miss what I had but I know it’s gone. And I’d miss this life now if I left it for something else. Maybe that’s just the way it works.

Speaking of the past, I came across a photo of those long-ago days when I was just a glimmer in my father’s eyes:

And now I’ll return to the lockdown reality that is my current life.

Now the night is gone,
a new day is dawning
And our homeless dreams
go back to the street
Another time or place,
another civilization
Would really make
this life feel so complete.

I’ll always be a dreamin’ man
I don’t have to understand
I know it’s alright.

A nice day on the water, as seen from the Kokomo’s floating bar.

Oh, and the beer was cold too.

In other news, I visited the newest business in town, a small hotel called Outback. In addition to a sports bar (which I’ve not as yet checked out), there is a very nice outdoor poolside bar. Both times I’ve been there I was the only customer. Which gave me the opportunity to chat up the bartender, Lyann. I’m not lyin’ when I tell you that is how her name is pronounced. Which provides plenty of opportunities for a jokester like me to have some fun.

Anyway, she’s got a wicked sense of humor (and not just because she laughs at my jokes, she’s funny in her own right too). She can hold her own in a conversation, and while not classically beautiful, she’s cute enough to trip my triggers. Anyway, I enjoy her company but the fact that she has FOUR kids (the oldest is 12) is pretty much a deal-breaker for me relationship-wise. Oh well.

And then there is Jen. I got a Facebook friend request from someone I’d never heard of. That in and of itself is not unusual. I normally look to see if we have any mutual friends and if not, I will just delete the request on the assumption that it is spam. For some inexplicable reason, I made an exception and accepted her friend request. A few hours later I got a message from her and we chatted a bit. I was still clueless about who she was, but I was enjoying our talk. She had obviously been perusing my FB page and mentioned a poem I had posted. Okay, now I was impressed and curious to learn more. I can’t remember the last time I met a woman who actually cared about words in general and poetry in particular. Who is this mystery woman and how did she find me? Finally, she told me her “real” name and sent me a picture.

Why yes, yes I do! Jen used to work at Double D, a videoke club that closed down several months ago. We are actually Facebook friends on her true account. Although I had met her on the several occasions I had been a patron at Double D, I really didn’t know much about her other than she loves to sing and that she works out at the gym. I had almost always been with Marissa back then, so I didn’t even flirt with her properly.

Anyway, she told me that she had thought of me as someone who is “not serious”, but after reading some of my FB posts she could see there was more to me than bad jokes and off-key singing. Hmm. I suggested we have dinner and find out more about each other. Jen responded that she is tied up with a work project through December 31. Ah. Not sure if that was a polite rejection or if we’ll get together in the New Year. We shall see. I’m definitely intrigued.

Then again, this song came up in my playlist as I did my morning walk:

I thought by now I was too smart
Thought I was through givin’ my heart
It’s only a game, tears you apart

Falling in love

My poor soul was about to mend
Honey, then you smiled at me and then
Lord help me, here I go again

Falling in love

Looking back through the bridges I’ve burned
Each heartache was a page I turned
Never forget the lessons I’ve learned

Falling in love

And I was all through
‘Til we met
Never gonna love again and yet
Funny how we all forget

Falling in love

And I’m falling in love, falling in love
When will I learn?
I think I’ll get burned
Falling in love

Nothing is worse than a fool like me
Think that I would finally see
Heaven knows I shouldn’t be
Falling in love

One day at a time.

*It’s not Scottie, it’s Scotty. Names matter! Thanks for the education, Kevin.

Finally got to see a doctor about my eye this morning. I wouldn’t call getting that done an ordeal, but it did qualify as a pain in the ass. It’s Tuesday and that’s my grocery shopping day. Figured I’d take advantage of having a driver and get the medical chores out of the way as well.

Well, we left my place at 0900 and the domestic helper advised that the Lourdes eye clinic wouldn’t open until 1000. Okay then, let’s head out to Baypointe Medical Center for the third of five rabies shots. Maybe I can see a doc there about the eye. Nope, no one available until late afternoon. Did the song and dance that is a prerequisite for getting my shot: pharmacy for meds, supply room for an invoice for the needle and shot paraphernalia, cashier to pay, back to supply to pick up the stuff I paid for, then upstairs for the actual shot. Even my helper was shaking her head at the hoops this poor patient was forced to jump through. The next shot is due on Christmas Eve and the clinic is closed, so I get to use the emergency room which bypasses everything but the cashier. Woot!

After shopping, I had my driver pop into Lourdes. The clinic was open but the doctor was not in yet. Clinic hours are 10:00 till 12:00 on Tuesday, it was after 10:00 and the doc was “on his way”. Hmm, well I had frozen food in the car so home I went. After the groceries were safely stored away, I took a trike back to the hospital, the doctor was in, and after a short wait, it was my turn to be examined.

The swelling is down quite a bit but the eye is itchy and sore. I showed the doc a picture from yesterday. As others had speculated, he immediately declared it a sty, most likely from an infection. So now I’ve got ten days of four times a day eye drops to add to my daily medication regimen. And a boiled egg.

That’s actually a pretty nifty trick for applying heat, lasts a lot longer than a hot rag and you get a tasty snack afterward!

What else? Well, on the walk back home from Lourdes I saw this shop selling rice:

I was hungry when I got home so I got busy in the kitchen.

And finally, Facebook reminds me that I posted this five years ago:

Well, I am sleeping alone these days.

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

@Charles Bukowski

One of my favorites, I’m sure I’ve posted it before. That’s the nice thing about poetry. It’s always there to remind you of the lessons you’ve already learned.

What’s this all about?

It seems to be more of a sty than something like pink eye, although I do have some itchy irritation in the corner of my eye. I figured it was best to get it checked out by a doctor. I asked my helper to call the eye clinic at Lourdes hospital. She said we could just go there at 9 a.m. I told her no, I want to be sure the doctor is available. So she calls and we leave. Get there, and the clinic is closed. She hurried off to the information desk, probably as much to escape my wrath as anything. She came back and said the clinic had changed their hours and the receptionist she had spoken to on the phone didn’t know. Bottom line, they are closed on Mondays.

Deep breath, relax and accept the Filipino way. I’ll go to Baypointe Hospital tomorrow and have it looked at. Need to get my rabies shot there anyway.

Otherwise, I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. I’m sure it will pass. Just need to maintain my patience and wait for the next big thing to come along. In the meantime there’is always:

Even when it doesn’t feel that way, life is good.

So, the other day I did a Google search of my name. Yeah, I was that bored. It had been awhile but there wasn’t much new I hadn’t seen before. Well, it was a little shocking to see that one of those “find me” sites said I was 91 years old and still living in Lexington, SC. The other thing I found interesting and/or amusing was a blog called Joyful Public Speaking (from fear to joy), written by one Richard I. Garber, who back in March referenced a post of mine from 2010 about diversity training. Specifically, the term “flip” and its offensiveness to Filipinos.

Here’s what he cited:

A 2010 web article by John McCrarey titled Concerning Diversity Training had the following discussion:
 “Anyway, as an example of insensitivity the instructor solemnly informed us that the visual aid commonly referred to as a ‘flip chart’ was offensive.  Seriously.  You see, ‘flip’ is a derogatory term applied to Filipinos.   And so according to the trainer we should henceforth call the flip chart a rip chart.

To our credit, we didn’t let the trainer get away without asking some clarifying questions.  Like, it is wrong to ‘flip a coin’?  Is it permissible to ‘flip through the pages of a book’?  Or how about if someone cuts you off in traffic–can you ‘flip them the finger’?  Yeah, it’s true.  We were certainly being ‘flip’ about the subject.”

Heh, indeed that was one of my finer moments. And I was in good company because the next reference in Garber’s post is from Jordan Peterson, as quoted by the New York Times. The Times being the Times it is unflattering of course, calling Peterson the “custodian of the patriarchy”. I’ll just call him “my hero”!

I’m always honored when someone links to my blog, whether it brings me any new readers or not. And it seemed like the least I could do was leave Garber a comment. And this is what I said:

HaHa! I just did a Google search of my name and found a link to your blog citing a post I made referencing “flip charts”. A belated thank you for the mention.

I actually live in the Philippines now. I certainly would never call any of my neighbors a “Flip”. I still wouldn’t have a problem referring to a “flip chart” in the context of a presentation board. But since I’m retired now I doubt I’ll have the need. 

Here’s a funny anecdote: A web forum where I’m a member automatically corrects any usage of the term “flip” to Filipino. So, were I to type “everyone here wears flip flop shoes”, it becomes “Filipino flops”. Cracks me up every time. And by the way, do you know what Filipinos call that type of shoe? You guessed it–flip flops.

You gotta laugh.

So, if any of y’all think my using the term flip in the context of a flip chart is offensive, well, all I can say is I don’t give a flip.

Or maybe I’ll just say “you’re right”.