I miss the sights and smells of Korea, like this steaming pot of bundaegi (silk worms). Granted, I don’t miss the taste of that particular delicacy but I’m ready for most other culinary delights you can find on the street.

Well, I’ve been back in the USA for six months now.  I had fully expected to have returned for my semi-annual stint in Korea this month.  Even had a doctor’s appointment scheduled (which Jee Yeun cancelled last night).  So much for optimism, right?  It ain’t happening and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

The hardest part is not being able to make a plan.  Other than cashing my check for $1070.00 and taking Jee Yeun’s fingerprints, the folks at the United States Customs and Immigration Service (USCIS) have made no discernible progress in processing Jee Yeun’s permanent residence application (green card).  Under the “rules”, Jee Yeun is not permitted to leave the country while her application is pending.  So we are stuck here for god knows how long.

It’s my own damn fault really.  Like a chump I made the mistake of following the rules.  Wasted 18 months going the fiancee visa route rather than getting married while Jee Yeun was here on a tourist visa.  I foolishly believed that doing the right thing was not only the right thing to do, but that it would ultimately expedite the permanent residency process.  Four months later and not a peep from USCIS.  In fact, the website where I’m supposed to be able to track “progress” of the application has not changed since acknowledging receipt back in April.  The spouses of friends who took the illegal approach had their green cards in hand within six months.  Fuck me.

Which is not to say we haven’t been making the best of things during our U.S. sojourn.  We’ve traveled a lot to exotic locales (Augusta, Virginia Beach, Las Vegas, DC, Maryland, Orlando, Winston-Salem, Charlotte, and Nashville).  We’ve had some quality time with the kids and grandkids which has been fun.  Also caught up on most of my favorite TV shows, so there’s that.  And truth be told, our American life is actually quite comfortable and stress free.

I’ve been keeping pretty busy with my darts “career” which helps fill the hours.  In fact, after months of complaining about Columbia being virtually a darts desert, I got off my lazy ass and did something about it.  The Columbia Area Darts Association (CADA) has now been established, and our application for sanctioning with the American Darts Organization is pending.  The first order of business for CADA was the formation of the Columbia Singles League, which provides me the opportunity to play darts every Sunday without driving over an hour to Aiken.  Hey, a selfish motivation is still motivation, right?

When I do get back to Korea, I will be in a somewhat diminished capacity.  Regular reader(s) know I’ve been faithfully (for the most part) adhering to the low carbohydrate lifestyle since my return to the states, and I’m now within 20 pounds of attaining my weight loss goal.  So there’s that.

I just want the best of both worlds I suppose.  And the calendar says it’s time to move on to that other one for a few months.  Hopefully, within a very few months.

A big BROWN bag full of racism!

Fresh off the trial of that “white Hispanic” (with the black grandfather) George Zimmerman, the PC police now advise us that bringing a brown bag lunch to work is racially insensitive.  The folks at Legal Insurrection have all the details here, but the gist of the problem is apparently this:

For a lot of, particularly, African American community members,” he said, “the phrase ‘brown bag’ does bring up associations with the past when a brown bag was actually used, I understand, to determine if people’s skin color was light enough to allow admission to an event or to come into a party that was being held in a private home.”

Now granted, that’s a pretty uncool thing to do.  What kind of racist bastard would even think up such an outrage?

In a 2006 book, Audrey Elisa Kerr, a professor of African-American literature at Southern Connecticut State University, documents reports throughout the 20th century of the use of paper bags by African-American fraternities, sororities, churches and social clubs to determine whether a potential member was light-skinned enough to be socially acceptable.

Oh my, racist black folk discriminating against other people of color!  Who knew?

The Legal Insurrection boys (oops!, I mean privileged white lawyers)  also discuss the recent incidences of reporters who have gone where no one should dare tread when discussing Asians.

We also addressed the idiom Chink in the Armor after a sportscaster was suspended and a copywriter (who happened to be married to an Asian woman) was fired for using the phrase in connection with discussing basketball player Jeremy Lin’s on-court weaknesses.

 

Now “chink in the armor” is back in the news because a CNBC reporter used the phrase in assessing whether Wendi Deng, the Chinese wife of Rubert Murdoch, could overcome trust agreements as part of their divorce. The phrase was not used to refer to Ms. Deng, but to legal arguments Deng’s lawyer would use to allow her to access the Trusts which contained most of Murdock’s vast fortune.

 

“What do you think the chink in the armor here might be, that’s what [the lawyer] is so good at, is finding a chink in the prenupts and all these trusts.”

I do not want to be niggardly in expressing my outrage at the blatant racism that flows so glibly from the lips of those who find racism in common terms of speech.  Perhaps you are thinking, “that’s mighty white of you, John.”  But really, what’s next?  Can a black person still order some crackers with his soup?

Is it racist to say that? Hell, I don’t know. Flip a coin. Or maybe you better not.

I’m reminded of some mandatory diversity training I attended back in my Postal Service days.  The instructor in all seriousness told us that we should not call a flip chart a flip chart because the word “flip” is offensive to Filipinos.  Lord knows I respect and  admire the wonderful people of the Philippines.  But it’s all about context, right?  Who in their right mind would be offended about a flip chart?  Or a coin flip.  This PC madness is really beginning to flip me out.

Maybe if we are all racist in what we say and do, none of us are racist.  Or maybe not.  America scares me lately.  I hope to get back to Korea in the fall.  I love those mornings when there is a little nip in the air.

Don’t flip me the bird you racist bastard!

http://youtu.be/fqFUmo8VVg0

Actually, my eyes are fine.  And so are Jee Yeun’s.  It’s her left shoulder that has been giving problems for a couple of months now.  By problems I mean excruciating pain if she tries to raise her arm above her head.  Otherwise, she just suffers a continuous discomforting dull pain.

Today Jee Yeun got to experience the wonder of American medicine close up and personal for the first time.  Of course, just getting to that point was quite the adventure.  As I wrote about here, it took OPM, the government agency that “services” my retirement, from April until July to add Jee Yeun to my health insurance.  Yesterday, I got a letter from OPM confirming that she had in fact been added, retroactive to June 1.  And oh by the way, you owe us an additional $179 for that month of coverage I never enjoyed.  Nothing to worry about they assured me, we’ll deduct it from your next annuity check.

At the exact moment the OPM missive was delivered I was on the phone with Blue Cross confirming that Jee Yeun had in fact been added to my plan.  “Nope, nothing in the system for her” I was advised.  The kind lady said she’d call the “hotline” in DC and find out what was going on.  She called back 30 minutes later and said it had all been taken care of, so we were covered.  I was impressed that Blue Cross was so efficient and effective, but given my universally bad experience with several government agencies my satisfaction bar is set pretty low.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I had called my family doctor to try and get Jee Yeun an appointment.  Seeing as how I prefer to get all my routine medical examinations done in Korea (cheaper and easier) I hadn’t visited Dr. Marler in well over a year.  I was dismayed to get a recording saying that Dr. Marler was no longing practicing in Columbia.  So I asked my daughter if she could recommend a new physician and she had me call her her doctor.  When I did I was advised that the first available appointment with Dr. Oliver was in three weeks.  So I took it.

Meanwhile, Jee Yeun’s shoulder pain continued to increase.  My son-in-law is apparently buddies with Dr. Oliver, so he was able to pull some strings and get us in today.  Hey, isn’t that the American way?  So we made the long ass drive out to Lexington this morning, filled out seven pages of forms, and we were granted access to the Wizard of Oz medical care.

Dr. Oliver is a personable chap.  He apologized that his staff had not understood the urgency of the need for an appointment and that we had had to travel so far to see him.  He even chuckled when I told him that as a young man I had become quite adept at unfastening a woman’s brassiere, and now in my later years I had become proficient at hooking one up (Jee Yeun isn’t able to reach behind her back).  He gave us about 20 minutes of his time, moved Jee Yeun’s arm around and about to assess mobility and varying degrees of pain.  His diagnosis: a possible tear in the rotator cuff.  He ordered up an x-ray and suggested physical therapy.   He also prescribed an anti-inflammatory cream to be applied to the shoulder.  He told us if the physical therapy is unsuccessful he’d do an MRI to get a better idea of what was wrong, and if necessary, surgery.

We were then sent to another clinic down the road where we filled out more forms and had the x-ray taken.  I was disconcerted that the paper I was given to provide to the x-ray tech said “right shoulder” when if fact it is the left shoulder that is causing problems.  Got that fixed and felt relief that we weren’t there for an amputation.

Apparently we are going to be called by the physical therapy provider directly.  And we are supposed to be contacted by the pharmaceutical firm that makes the shoulder cream (apparently it is made to order).  And that was that.

Driving home, Jee Yeun simply said “in Korea, you go to the doctor and get everything done in one place while you are there”.

Indeed.

This week I put forth the effort to contact the Office of Personnel Management (the folks who administer my civil service retirement) to find out why the wife has not as yet been added to my Blue Cross health plan.  And what an effort it was!  Numerous calls on Monday garnered nothing but a busy signal.  Same thing on Tuesday.  So, I was practically ecstatic when I actually heard ringing after I dialed this morning.

Of course, I still had to navigate the Byzantine robotic phone tree to get to the option I needed (turns out is was none of the above).  The robot voice then advised that due to funding reductions hold times would be longer than normal (and normal has always been frustratingly long).  About 15 minutes later an actual human being came on the line and pleasantly asked how she could help.

I told her the sad tale about having sent my marriage certificate and the appropriate government forms required to have my health plan changed from single to family back in April, and here it was July and I hadn’t heard a word.  Meanwhile, my sweet wife has been living in pain and in need of medical treatment.  I provided the voice with my retirement account number and she went to check the status.

She came back to tell me my request had been processed yesterday, and my benefit change was effective July 1 (my annuity is paid monthly on the 1st, my August check will technically be paying me for the month of July).  Maybe that’s why I was getting busy signals on Tuesday–they were busy working on my plan changes.  So, I asked when Blue Cross would know to send me an updated benefits card and she said  it would be 24-48 hours.

So, three months to process my request and 3 days to reach a human being at OPM.  That’s a level of service from Uncle Sam that I have come to know and expect.  And lord knows the folks at USCIS (immigration) are much, much worse.

Still, progress is progress.

Fresh off my battle with TWC, I’m ready to take on the USA.

I’ve spent a lifetime dealing with government agencies.  When I was 16 I got my SSN from the SSA.  At 18 I registered for the draft with the SSS.  That was the year the draft ended, so I guess you could say I dodged that bullet.  And of course, like everyone else I have an annual encounter with the IRS (and given my Tea Party sympathies, that relationship could potentially become more intense).  Chances are this post is being read by some creep with the NSA.  And don’t even get me started on the idiots at TSA.

At 21 I began my civil service career with the USPS.  Twenty-four years later I moved to ED, then finished my career with DOD.  I retired as the GS-15 Director of DHRM for USFK.  Of course, the CPAC (a division of CHRA) screwed up my final pay, and I spent months fighting with DFAS to get that straightened out.

Upon retirement I purchased a house owned by HUD.  They promised to pay for the stolen aircon unit, but at closing they reneged.  Bastards.

My CSRS pension is administered through the OPM, and they’ve been a real nightmare to deal with.  I sent my marriage certificate in three months ago to have my wife added to my BCBS health plan, and they still haven’t managed to take care of that.  Meanwhile, Jee Yeun needs to see a doctor but she has no insurance.  So, that means another phone call and being on hold for 45 minutes to speak to a bureaucrat who will likely be unsympathetic to my plight.

And of course for the past 19 months I’ve been dealing with the division of DHS that handles immigration, USCIS.  It has become apparent that my big mistake was trying to play by the rules.  Had I brought Jee Yeun into the country illegally things would have been a lot easier, and certainly less time consuming.  Ah well, nothing to be done about that now.

I love my Uncle Sam.  I just wish he’d stop fucking me in the ass.  Is that too much to ask?

All across this great nation the citizenry are in a celebratory mood.  Folks will be gathering with friends and family, there will be cookouts, music, parades, and of course fireworks.  These festivities bring the American people together to honor the anniversary of a significant historical event.

That’s right, today marks the birth of Jee Yeun Lee!  Hey, I understand the USA is also celebrating a birthday.  Kudos to you too!

On the menu at this Kor-Am household:  Barbeque spare ribs, hamburgers, corn-on-the-cob, shrimp, baked beans, cole slaw, kimchi, garlic bread, watermelon, banana pudding and birthday cake.

Joining us in the fun will be my son, daughter-in-law, granddaughter, and a couple of friends from Atlanta.

To set the mood, let’s give Jee Yeun’s special birthday song a listen.

Although realistically, it is more of a armistice.  I previously wrote about my war with Time Warner Cable (TWC) here and here. This morning I got a call from the “office of the president” at TWC.  “Joey” explained that TWC’s mistake had been in telling me I had a refund due, when if fact I owed $12.82 for service from May 24 to my cancellation on June 3.  I still don’t agree, because you pay for service a month in advance and I had made a payment on May 10.

Anyway, “Joey” apologized for abuse I had taken from the rude customer service rep I had initially spoken with.  He said TWC was willing to waive the $30. service fee for a returned billing and the $12.82 “owed” for a partial month’s service.  I responded that I was never trying to get out of paying any legitimate debt.  In fact, I had offered to pay the $12.82 from the beginning, but not the service fee.  “Joey” insisted that TWC wanted to dispense with the full amount in recognition of the hassle I had encountered.  So, I accepted.

Bottom line, I don’t get the $35.12 I think I’m owed, and TWC doesn’t get their $42.82.  It’s sorta like redrawing the border at the 35th parallel after three years of bitter fighting I suppose, but sometimes in a war you take what you can get and stop the bloodshed.

I take some satisfaction in knowing that TWC is most likely sorry they ever fucked with me.  Sometimes being a pain in the ass is the only way to get the attention of a bureaucracy, be it corporate or government.    Besides, I’ve got bigger fish to fry if I have to wait much longer on Jee Yeun’s green card.

Today I escalated my battle with Time Warner Cable (TWC) by crafting three sternly worded letters.  The first missive was a long tirade detailing how I’d been wronged and my three unsuccessful attempts to resolve what should have been a simple correction by telephone.  I included the documentation that I had previously paid through June 24 so the June 7 billing (3 days after cancellation) was completely bogus.

My second letter was to the CEO of TWC (with a copy of the correspondence mentioned above) noting that I had cancelled my service because TWC was no longer competitively priced.  I noted that high prices and poor customer service was a deadly combination, especially given the competitive market they serve.

The third epistle was sent to the South Carolina Department of Consumer Affairs.  In this one I essentially allege that TWC is engaging in fraudulent business practices.  I came to this conclusion based on the fact that TWC knows or should know that may account was paid in full at the time of my cancellation (indeed, I was owed a refund).  That they billed me for July anyway I could attribute to a mistake or miscommunication except for the fact that they steadfastly refuse to make it right.  Engaging in threats (reporting an uncollected debt to the credit bureau) in an attempt to coerce me into paying a money I don’t owe and they know I don’t owe is just plain wrong.

Do I think this flurry of letter writing will make a difference?  Well yeah, I think they will eventually pay me what they owe if for no other reason than to shut me up.  I doubt the CEO will give a flip, but I think at a minimum the consumer has an obligation to let the big shots know their people are screwing up.  As for Consumer Affairs, I expect they will handle this matter in typical government fashion–nothing will be done.

To be sure, the amount of time I have invested in this matter is worth far more to me than the $42.82 TWC is trying to steal from me.  But as a matter of principle I refuse to be cowed.

In other news, I’m advised my blog should be updated, upgraded, and uploaded after a week of upheaval.  So far, I can still access the site and post.  I’m assured it is all going to be seamless.  My domain name will remain the same and all my history will be moved to the new blog host with nothing lost in transition.  Here’s hoping.

Oh, and I really want to give a shout out to Host Gator.  Once I’d signed up with them I was assigned to my own personal account rep.  She sent me a very informative welcome email and then actually called me to introduce herself and offer any assistance I might require.  Take note TWC, that’s the way to treat customers!

I recently cancelled my internet service with Time Warner.  What started out as a $30 per month expense had escalated to $48 over the course of two years.  My last bill indicated that my “promotional” rate was expiring so I tried to call and find out what the hell that was going to cost me.  Several attempts resulted in a busy signal.  Which was pretty aggravating to say the least.  I mean, who doesn’t have an automated system to put you in the queue for an actual customer service rep?

Now, the cost of my satellite television with DirecTV had also risen to the point that I was paying $135 a month for a couple of hours of viewing each week (I spend as much or more time on Netflix).  AT&T had been after me to sign up for their UVerse internet and television combination package for quite some time.  Given my frustration with Time Warner’s unresponsiveness, I gave them a call.  When I hung up I had secured an internet and television package at a comparatively bargain price of only $110 a month.  Coincidentally, the amount I’m saving almost pays for the gouging I took from AT&T when I upgraded to smart phones.

Once I had the UVerse installed it was time to formally end my relationship with DirecTV and Time Warner.  Bless their hearts, neither one wanted to see me go.  I spent at least 30 minutes on the phone with each while they tried to talk me out of making the switch.  And both offered to adjust my bill back down to the initial introductory rate (for six months anyway).  And they both called back again the next day to once again plead their case for my staying on board.  But it was too late, I had given my commitment to AT&T and we are destined to stay together for at least the next 12 months.

Anyway, the Time Warner cancellation was effective on June 3.  I was told I would be receiving a $32 refund for the remainder of the billing cycle.  Now,  I have most of my bills set up for automatic deduction from my bank account which works out great while I’m out of the country for extended periods.  I closed the bank account where the Time Warner deduction was drawn (and moved to a far less sucky banking institution).  So, imagine my surprise when I received a notice in the mail from Time Warner indicating that on June 7 (four days after termination of the service) their attempt to bill my former bank $48 had been rejected.  And here’s the perversely hilarious part–they added a $30 fee for the draft being denied.  But wait, it gets even better.  The bill looked something like this:

Monthly charge for internet $48  Rejection fee $30.  Total $78.  Minus the $32credit I had coming.  Total due: $46.

I was livid and got right on the phone.  And waited and waited waited for the customer service rep to become available.  When she was I explained the fuck up.  She told me she would have to transfer me to billing.  So I waited some more.  When billing got on the line I explained it all again.  She seemed to understand and put me on hold while she discussed it with her supervisor.  When she came back she advised I would have to be transferred to collections.  And yep, I waited some more.

The collections guy was quite the prick.  We argued on the phone for the better part of an hour.  His position was that it was my fault for closing my bank account without notifying them.  I responded with why were you billing me for a month of service several days after the account was closed?  See, I’m pretty certain that when I signed up I paid a month in advance.  So, when I made the payment on May 24 that carried me through to June 24.  Which is why I was told I had a $32 credit coming.  Mr. Collections Prick didn’t see it that way, but was unable to explain why I was billed for a full month on June 7.  I held my tongue pretty much (the worst I said was “this is total bullshit” and that’s pretty amazing restraint on my part).  It became apparent he was not going to be dissuaded from his position that I went from being owed money to owing money.  So, I offered a compromise (this penny ante crap wasn’t worth the aggravation).  I told him I would pay the $16 I didn’t owe, but I was not going to pay the $30 rejection fee.

Collections Prick responded “Time Warner will not waive the fee.”  I told him good luck trying to collect it, because I won’t pay it under any circumstance.  He said “That’s fine, then it will go on your credit report as an uncollected debt.”  And that’s the point where the call mercifully ended.

Time Warner Cable sucks.  Tomorrow I’ll be sending them a letter telling them they suck along with a check for $16.  I’ll also let them know that my blog and Facebook page has duly noted their general suckiness as a warning to folks so they won’t have to find out the hard way like I did. And I’ll cc the South Carolina Consumer Affairs folks who regulate utilities like Time Warner Cable Sucks, for all the good I expect that do.  And I’ll keep that letter on file to send to the credit reporting agencies should Time Warner Cable Sucks follow through on their threat.

Whew.  Glad I got that off my chest.  Hey speaking of things that suck, Value City Furniture pretty much sucks too.  To be fair, I purchased my master bedroom suite (why is suite pronounced “suit” and why do they call it that anyway?) and my bar from them and I’ve been satisfied with those buys.  So I needed a couple of side chairs for my dining room table and I went back to their showroom for a looksee.  I wasn’t looking for anything fancy and I didn’t want to spend more than necessary and I found some on display that I liked.  They were part of a five piece set (with table) on sale for $499.  I asked how much for just two chairs and was told $125 each. I’m no math wizard but that seemed unnaturally high.  Well, I guess I couldn’t expect the sale price if I wasn’t buying the set.

Anyway, I said fine, I’ll take these two.  No, I was advised, those are only for display.  We’ll have two sent over from the warehouse and you can pick them up in two days.  Ok, fine.  The deal was done and I returned on the appointed date to find a smallish box waiting for me.  “There are two chairs in that box?” I asked incredulously.  “Yes” I was told.  Which was correct as far as it goes, but the truthful answer would have been “two unassembled chairs.”  Now, if I buy cheap ass furniture from Target or Wal-Mart I expect I will have to put it together (this is especially easy to know because the display states prominently “assembly required”.  I’ve never bought crap from an actual furniture store that I had to build myself.  Which I did this afternoon.  $125 per chair and two hours of my life I’ll never get back.  That sucks.

And finally, this blog sucks.  Longtime reader(s) are doubtlessly well aware of that fact.  But I’m not talking about the writing this time.  The blog itself isn’t functioning properly.  For instance, I can’t load photos these days.  And other strange things have been occurring as well.  It just seems to be a general degradation in performance overall.  Now way back in December 2004 soon after LTG was born, I switched from Blogspot to WordPress.  And apparently I’ve never upgraded to the various iterations WordPress has gone through in the intervening years.  I’m too lazy  unqualified to do an upgrade by myself, so I opened a help ticket with my blog host BlogsAbout.com.  I was one of their earliest customers and I got lots of TLC in the beginning from the actual founder of the company.  They’ve apparently done amazingly well over the years.  And now a little guy like can’t even get a response to my pleas for help over a week later.  So, through the wonder of a Google search I’ve found another guy who says he can do the job.  All I know is that he responded within 30 minutes of my request, he did a quick looksee, and said he can fix me up for $130.  Apparently, my version of WordPress is so outdated he’ll have to go through several longish steps to get me up to speed.  Here’s hoping I’ve exhausted my quota of sucky encounters.

It occurs to me that despite not speaking the language and being generally ignorant culturally, my life in Korea is so much easier than here.  Things in Korea just don’t seem to suck nearly as much.

Via Althouse comes this story about an unfortunate tweet saying fat folks should not bother applying for the PhD program since they obviously lack the self discipline necessary to complete a dissertation.  Professor Geoffrey Miller of NYU tweeted: “Dear obese PhD applicants: if you didn’t have the willpower to stop eating carbs, you won’t have the willpower to do a dissertation. #truth.”

As is wont to happen, some folks (whether fat or not) took offense to the remark.  Miller doubled down saying finishing a dissertation is “about willpower/conscientiousness, not just smarts.”   Later when the heat got too hot, he deleted the offending tweets, but the damage was done.

Now poor Dr. Miller is being accused of various and sundry crimes against nature, including being a proponent of eugenics. Even worse, he is now the target of the worst kind of retaliation–mockery!  There’s even an aptly named blog “Fuck Yeah! Fat PhDs featuring photographs of “fatalicious” PhD candidates from institutions across our great nation.

I’m personally too fat and lazy to weigh-in (ahem) on the subject, other than to say I’m glad Dr. Miller is down with the low carb regimen. Althouse gives the issue her lawyerly analysis here and here.

I will just say that my personal journey to the scales this week revealed that I’ve gained 3 pounds, putting me back up to 252.  I wasn’t totally surprised, because I had a week of some pretty hellacious beer drinking.  Beer is liquid bread after all.  And even though I confine myself to the almost tasteless low carb variety (2.6 grams of carbohydrates per 12 oz bottle), the carbs do add up.  Especially when you drink 12 beers or so in one sitting.  Hey, I had company.  A soldier friend who is getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan.  So we had much to discuss!

So, shame on me.  At least I can be thankful that I’m not pursuing a doctorate degree.  Unless they offer one in the age old art of beer guzzling.

Onward and (hopefully) downward.