Changing it up some

Posted on 04/March/2022 by John McCrarey

Feeling like a king again after having my crown re-installed by my dentist. 4000 pesos ($80.) for the rebuild of the crown and gluing it to the stub of my old tooth. We’ll see how long it holds this time.

After the dentist visit, I decided a haircut was in order. I wound up getting scalped despite asking for just a trim. That is twice in a row by two different barbers. I guess the military look is fashionable. Doesn’t really matter though, I wear a hat all the time, and the shorter the cut the longer it will be before I get scalped again.

Popped into Sit-n-Bull for some lunch on the way home. The taco platter was the daily special, so I went with that. I wasn’t disappointed and with the hunger satiated, I hoofed on home.

Pretty exciting day so far, huh? Well, here’s the thing. When it was time to head out for the evening I realized that I just can’t keep going into Barretto every night to drink copious amounts of beer. You just have to realize when it is time to make a change, and that time had finally come. So, I went to Baloy Beach instead to engage in my beer drinking ritual.

My plan was to start at McCoy’s, a nice little beach bar, and go from there. The only issue I have with McCoy’s is they have a damn loud videoke machine and as I approached, sure enough, I could hear someone singing. My intent was just to walk on by, but the manager saw me, and knowing how much I hate bad singing at high volume, signaled that I could sit in one of the nipa huts on the beach. Well, that was such a nice gesture, how could I refuse? Sat down and ordered up my first beer of the day.

***A view of Baloy Beach in front of McCoy’s.***

***A view of the dreaded karaoke singers from my perch in the nipa hut. Yes, I could still hear them, but I was far enough away where I wasn’t being blasted by soundwaves.***

***That face I make when the beer is good but the music is bad.***

I was on my third beer when the customers who had reserved the hut I was squatting in arrived, so I moved to the bar. Fortunately, the singers were drunk and only had a couple of songs left in them, so I stayed for another beer. Then my friend Erik arrived, so another round was in order.

***The sun was going down, reminding me it was time to add some food to the mix. So, Erik accompanied me to Treasure Island.***

***The view from the bar at Treasure Island.***

I had the meatball sandwich and another beer. Or was it two?

After dinner, I decreed a nightcap was in order, so we walked a block or so up the road to Johan’s.

***No beach views from the bar at Johan’s, but a pleasant enough atmosphere.***

My thirst for beer finally satiated, I called it a night and caught a trike home. I failed at drinking my blues away, however, and had a mostly restless night trying to get her off my mind.

Filling the hours…

Posted on 03/March/2022 by John McCrarey

…however comfortably and well.

***It only hurts until the pain goes away.***

A full day yesterday. The Wednesday Walkers morning hike was a mostly pleasant excursion. We did the Monday Hash trail in reverse, including most of the parts we had skipped as “sane” Hashers. As is my custom, I’ll share photos from the hike at the end of this post.

Our dart league match against the VFW team was a wipeout–13-0. And yes, we were on the winning side of that equation.

After darts, I hoofed it over to the other side of town to check out John Kim’s new place. Other than an inconvenient (for me) location, it is definitely an upgrade from his old location at The Pub.

***It is now known as “John’s Sushi and Steakhouse”. The restaurant is on the second floor, the bar area is on the third floor.***

***Owner John Kim in front of the sushi bar…***

***I had a Philly cheesesteak and fries for my dinner.***

Good luck to John in his new venue. I probably won’t be a frequent visitor to this side of town, but then again, the food and ambiance make it worth the trip.

After leaving John’s place, I crossed the street and paid a visit to my old friends at The Hideaway bar. I hadn’t been here for months since I was making an effort to be a good boyfriend, but now that I’m “free” I may as well start acting like it again. Some more beers and lady drinks and a belated birthday gift (cash) for Joy. They seemed happy to see me again. Or at least my wallet.

I wasn’t done yet though. I marched myself up the highway and dropped into It Doesn’t Matter. Damn, I’d never seen the place so crowded, a waitress brought a stool from inside so I’d have a place to sit. My favorite, Roan, wasn’t working, so I settled for the company of Agnes. She’s nice too, just not as witty and engaging as Roan. A couple of beers and I was ready to move on.

The next stop was BarCelona. There I enjoyed the company of my waitress, Kira.

***She has an intriguing look about her, don’t you think?***

Not that it matters. I know listening to my banter in exchange for lady drinks is just her job. Some are better at it than others, and Kira is fun to engage with. I have no illusions or any real interest in trying to make it more than it is. I have no reason to believe she feels otherwise either. That’s the whole emptiness and meaninglessness about the bar life I’ve mentioned before. Why bother at all? Well, none of them have the power to cause me emotional pain, and sometimes it’s simply better than drinking alone.

I always go home alone though. And after nearly 8 hours straight of beer drinking, I was definitely feeling no pain. That’s the problem with dart league, the early start throws me off schedule. Oh well, at least it is only once a week.

Pictures from the hike:

***If it looks familiar, it’s because that’s Monday’s Hash hike. We just did it backward.***

***A gathering of like-minded individuals.***

***Some womenfolk who knew Scott by name. Friends of his gal I suspect.***

***A little inconvenient to get to, but I reckon the rent is reasonable.***

And that was my whacked and drunken Wednesday. Now I’m off to the dentist. Livin’ large and waiting for the next big thing to come along and slap me upside of the head. Stick around!

Those shoes

Posted on 02/March/2022 by John McCrarey

Tuesday is grocery shopping day around here and nothing much to say about that except inflation, especially on imported products, is out of control. Kraft cheese slices, anyone? Not unless you are willing to pay $10.95 for sixteen slices. Nope, not me.

I did change things up some by having my driver drop me off near the mall. I walked over to the SM Downtown and had five minutes to kill before the mall opened. Went to the marketplace across the street and bought a phone charger and a new cable for my power pack. Back to the mall for some shoes and they didn’t have any of my selections in size 11. The clerk did bring out the only pair in my size and I bought them even though I didn’t particularly like them.

Next, I hoofed it over to the nearby Harbor Point mall on the old Navy base. There is a Merrill shoe store there where I’ve had some successful purchases in the past. Rather than pick out shoes I liked only to be disappointed, I said show me what you got in an 11. Once again, they didn’t have anything I’d normally choose in my size, but I settled on two pairs that were 40% off the regular price.

***I’ll be marching Merrill-y down the road with these purchases.***

After my shopping spree and before catching a taxi home, I had a hankering for a Whopper so I popped into the Burger King in the mall.

***Honestly, it wasn’t nearly as good as I remembered it to be.***

A quiet afternoon at home, then off to the dart tourney at Alley Cats. I didn’t play particularly well and then I lost interest in playing at all. I was in the loser’s bracket playing against Jocelyn. I needed one bull to win and advance to the next round. The truth was, I didn’t want to win and for the first time in my darting career, I lost intentionally. Didn’t hide it very well either. Jocelyn was surprised but didn’t seem too upset. But I understand it takes the fun out of the competition if your opponent lets you win. I’m sorry about that, I just haven’t been myself lately.

Jessel, one of the waitresses, was wearing this t-shirt last night:

***I found it kind of ironic. You may recall that last summer I had “chosen” her, only to be rejected.***

After darts, I visited Cheap Charlies. They were surprisingly busy for a Tuesday night. My “regular” gals were all occupied with other customers. It was a good reminder though that I am nothing special to them, just another source of revenue. Sometimes I let my imagination tell me otherwise, but reality is always there to give you a bitch-slap when you need one.

After a few beers, I went home comfortably numb. Got up this morning and did my normal routines, then headed out for the Wednesday Walkers group hike.

***One of my new pair of shoes after their first day on trail.***

Now it is time to shower up and get ready for the remainder of my Whacked Wednesday, starting with dart league this afternoon. Not sure where I’m going after darts, but I reckon it will be a place that sells beer. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s report on how that works out for me.

***I’m not as big as I once was, but I’m as big now as I’ll ever be. Hopefully.***

And for you Eagles fans:

Forward March

Posted on 01/March/2022 by John McCrarey

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. –Groucho Marx

Turning the page on the calendar and marching on to whatever the future may bring. Taking my cue from Groucho, I intend to live each and every day to the fullest, making the best of each one, until my days are finally over. Practically speaking, just what does that mean? I reckon there will lots of hiking, darting, and drinking along the way. But I’m also going to be open to whatever new adventures that may come my way. I’m currently in the preliminary stages of planning a trip to explore Bohol, one of the beautiful islands here that I have yet to visit.

No worries, I’m pretty much reconciled to living a loveless life. There are worse fates. I don’t regret the loves I’ve found and lost in life. Things happen, dreams change, people move on, and that’s just the way life goes.

***That’s just the way it happens sometimes You can hold on to the love you feel for someone even if you can’t hold on to them.***

But enough about me, let’s talk about the Hash! A good trail by Leech My Nuggets that started and ended at his house here in Alta Vista.

***The orange trail is the one our Hare intended, the white trail shows the modifications us “sane” Hashers deemed appropriate.***

***You’ll never meet a saner group of Hashers!***

***Marching through the backroads of Alta Vista.***

***Despite our 30-minute headstart and shortcuts, we are always passed by the runners at some point.***

***I didn’t forget you, Easter mountain.***

***Thanks for the nice trail and hospitality, Leech!***

And that was my Monday. Well, I did get to spend some quality time with a very special friend after the Hash. We shared a chicken and some comfort. Sometimes that is all you need.

And now for today’s “sermon”:

Now, I don't want to lose you
But I don't want to use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And I don't want to hate you
I don't want to take you
But I don't want to be the one to cry

And that don't really matter
To anyone anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door


But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you
Baby, you don't have to take the fall
Yes, I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all

It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough

And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
And do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough
Baby, sometimes love, it just ain't enough

Letting it go

Posted on 28/February/2022 by John McCrarey

Started my day yesterday with an 8K solo hike. As I was leaving the house I almost turned around and went back. I was feeling so down I just wasn’t wanting to do anything. I forced myself to march on though, and near the end of my trek, I noticed how much better my mental state was. You really can walk your blues away it seems. I’ll put up a few photos later in this post.

My other big “accomplishment” for the day was finishing the Ricky Gervais’ After Life series on Netflix. It’s the story of how a man comes to deal with losing the love of his life to breast cancer. Although nothing so traumatic has happened to me of course, I could still relate to some of the insights and lessons the protagonist gains as he moves on with life. I confess I cried during the last episode, which might say more about me than the show. I honestly can’t recommend the series though. I think if you aren’t in a certain frame of mind it’s all just a little too dark. Or maybe British humor (humour) just goes over my head. I did enjoy most of the music and songs that played during some scenes. Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now was the background tune to the final scene in the last episode.

Here’s the trailer for Season Three if you want a taste:

It should come as no surprise that my plans for Sunday evening included drinking enough beer to make forgetting easier. I started that process at It Doesn’t Matter and was making some early progress when things changed. A message popped up on my phone from “Inez”, someone I hadn’t heard from in several months. She said she was in Barretto and asked if I wanted to meet and catch up. I said sure, and we agreed to rendevous at BarCelona when she was finished at the beauty salon.

It was a little surreal seeing her again. We’d actually only had one “date” way back when and it really hadn’t gone all that well. We stayed in touch for a while after that on Facebook but had drifted apart to the point of no direct contact. I guess what triggered her message was that I had seen her in an outdoor restaurant as I walked by during the Hash last week. And now here she was sitting with my drunk ass on the rooftop of BarCelona. We had a nice view of the Central Park Reef hotel and she said she had never been. I told her about how nice it was and she wanted to go there. So, I made a date with her for March 13, her first available off day.

Well, I know she is not the “one” or anything like that. I think we will remain firmly in the friend zone and I’m fine with that. Still, it was strange that she happened to step back into my life at this particular time. I realized that I had been looking backward and dwelling on what I lost, and now suddenly, I had something to look forward to. Funny how that works. And thank you for that, Inez.

Here are the photos from my hike I promised:

***My closest encounter with Easter mountain on this hike.***

***It’s election season here in the PI and the Khonghun’s are keeping it all in the family. Again.***

***“Thank You. You are now leaving Subic” You’re welcome. I’ll come back again when I can’t stay so long next time.***

Relive it here if you have a hankering.

https://www.relive.cc/view/vQvxng4XBB6

It’s Hash Monday so I’ll be back on trail this afternoon. Look for a full report tomorrow.

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

‘Twas just another Saturday night

Posted on 27/February/2022 by John McCrarey

Ah, the saga of a lonely man continues. Well, just because you are lonely doesn’t mean you have to be alone. I’m actually on the introvert side of the personality spectrum, but I prefer having people around when I’m drinking. That’s why I rarely drink at home. I’m not saying I need to have company with me at the bar, but being in the company of other patrons gives me something to look at while I imbibe. Entertainment if you will. Of course, the thirsty bargirls make their living by sitting with lonely strangers and I’m okay with that too on occasion. Anyway, it being Saturday night and all, and with the pain of my recent breakup needing medication, I headed into town with the intention of drinking copious amounts of alcohol in the form of beer. Here’s an illustrated story of the night’s events.

***The first thing you have to do is get there. Here’s the view from my street shortly after leaving the house on my journey to the bars of Barretto.***

***The path I take down to the main street in my neighborhood.***

***And this path is my shortcut out of the neighborhood.***

***It leads to this narrow pedestrian alley…***

***…that leads me to La Union street.***

***A couple of blocks later, I make a left turn onto Gabaya street.***

***Then a right turn onto Del Pilar street and I’m smack dab in the middle of the bar district. That’s the National highway dead ahead.***

***And across the highway up on the third floor is my first stop of the day…Cheap Charlies.***

The view from inside Cheap Charlies. There were a few more customers than usual for this time of day (around 4:30). There are some new faces in town since the ban on tourists was lifted earlier this month. Also, some of the expats who’ve been stranded back in their home countries are coming back to live now.

***My old friend Alma, a Cheap Charlies’ fixture since I first visited the bar in 2018, was there to entertain me.***

***I don’t recall her name, but she sat on the other side of me. Yeah, I bought a couple of rounds of lady drinks while I enjoyed my beers.***

I didn’t stay too long at Cheap Charlies, there were many other places beckoning me to visit. Diagonally across the highway in the yellow building are BarCelona (rooftop), The Green Room, and Wet Spot.

***But my next stop was the Central Park Reef hotel’s 6th-floor restaurant, bar, and pool.***

No San Miguel Zero beer served here, so I went with my old standby, San Mig Light. The difference is a Zero has 3% alcohol content, and SML has 5%. My friend Kat is a waitress here as well, so we had some brief chat when she wasn’t busy with customers.

***Kat surprised me with the belated Valentine’s gift. Ain’t she sweet?***

***A view from the rooftop at Central Park.***

***And a beach view from the other side of the building.***

***The pool was busy as well. I had a couple of beers, then said my goodbyes to Kat and headed out.***

***Right across the highway was the recently relocated Sit-n-Bull restaurant. I decided putting some food in my belly would be a good idea.***

***Here’s what I ate–the roast beef dip. Ron (the owner) told me he doesn’t call it a French Dip for some technical reason that I forget now, but this one was excellent.***

After dinner, I went next door to Wet Spot. Sat at the owner’s table with Dave and his manager, Brett. Shared some adult beverages and interesting chit-chat. Dave is a Barretto fixture and one of the most interesting people I’ve met in the Philippines.

After a few beers at Wet Spot, I moseyed up the street to Alaska Club to pay my respects to owner Jerry. That’s him standing by the front door. Still not real busy, but better than before. Jerry is happy as hell to be back after his 20-month exile in the USA.

I had thought about stopping in at Outback and/or Queen Victoria before calling it a night but went back home instead after a brief detour at the Car Wash. Yeah, I’m having a hard time letting go. But what’s done is done. I’ll find a way to live with it.

Getting down

Posted on 26/February/2022 by John McCrarey

With group hikes three days a week it gets difficult to find new and different trails to explore. On Fridays we tend to get a bit more adventurous, taking public transportation (Jeepney) out of town a bit then hiking from there. Hence, yesterday we headed out to the far side of Subic town and hiked back. Our course led us up one moderate mountain and down the other side. Going up is never easy for me and this trail was no exception. But getting down proved to be the real challenge. When you are in unfamiliar territory it is easy to get turned around and miss the intended path. Sometimes we lose the path completely and have to “bushwhack” our way through undergrowth until we can discover an established trail. This happened on the downside of the mountain yesterday and the going was tough. Steep it was and the dead leaves covering the ground made it very difficult to keep your footing. There were also these roots growing all over that would get wrapped around your ankle and trip you up periodically. Not fun!

Anyway, all in a day’s hike. We made it down and near the bottom found the trail we had intended to take. A few slips and falls, but no injuries. I suppose having some adventure in life to counteract the recent drama is a good thing. Or so I keep telling myself.

To the photos then:

***This tree growing out of the concrete riverbank caught my eye.***

***And yes, we could see the usually hidden far side of Easter mountain from here. Those terraces near the bottom used to be part of a now-closed landfill.***

***A brief view of the bay before heading back down.***

***Really no photos capturing the treacherous downhill journey, but here is Troy near the end of the descent. You can perhaps see that it was still steep even at the bottom.*** ***Troy NEVER uses a stick, but he did on yesterday’s climb down.***

***Things were just a little out of cycle I guess.***

***The first “houses” we saw since leaving Subic behind.***

***Time to offload some cookies and candies.***

***Some news from Korea amongst the leaves on the trail.***

***The final 2K on the road to Barretto.***

That was my morning. Sucked at darts last night, so I sucked down some beers at Queen Victoria after being eliminated before the money round. Then it was home for some well-earned sleep.

We’ll see what’s on tap (or more likely, in the bottle) tonight. Any life is a good life. Especially considering the deadly alternative, right?

The last supper. Again.

Posted on 25/February/2022 by John McCrarey

I walked to Subic for my morning exercise and passed by this little restaurant. Thought of my favorite foodie, Kevin Kim, and his adventures in the kitchen. By comparison, I’m a chickenshit amateur. I don’t do anything the hard way.

I made a special meal for the special person who has chosen to depart from my life. It occurred to me that I had never demonstrated my grilling skills for her and I wanted to give a final culinary memory as my parting gift. I bought some steaks from John Kim at The Pub and had everything ready to go. The only question that remained was whether she would consent to dine with me. It didn’t look good at first but in the end, she agreed to join me for a last supper.

***Steaks on the grill. I incorporated the searing technique recommended by Kevin Kim.***

***The meal on a plate. That medley of veggies was created at her suggestion. It did prove to be a tasty combination. She took the leftovers home with her when she departed.***

So, the meat, a baked potato, mixed vegetables, baked beans, and garlic bread. Overall, I’d rate it a B-. I prefer ribeyes, but these Angus cuts were tender and tasty. I got distracted in the house and when I came back to check the grill there was some flame broiling in progress. The fatty parts were blackened but no other real damage. I wasn’t happy with the potatoes though–my timing was off and they weren’t as soft as I like on the inside. She said she would have preferred the garlic bread a little toastier, but I always make it soft. Next time…oh wait, never mind. The veggies were good.

After she left I went into town and sat on the roof of BarCelona and tried to drown my sorrows.

Breakfast at Harley’s before my Friday group hike this morning.

***These folks were selling fresh tuna. I told them “none for me, thanks”. Out of my league. And no one to cook for anyway.***

***The view of my plate. Them’s Swedish pancakes, a Harley’s specialty.***

And so it goes. A challenging hike this morning that I’ll post about tomorrow. Friday evening darts to come. And I expect I’ll quaff a few more beers than normal tonight to help ease the transition back into my solitary lifestyle.

I knew this day was coming. We agreed her chosen path was the right one to pursue and see where it leads. I wish her nothing but happiness. I’m going to miss her though. When it comes to love there is no such thing as a happy ending. But I have no regrets and I’m glad our ultimate parting was on friendly terms.

Good luck to you always, babe. Thanks for the memories.

Flat-footed

Posted on 24/February/2022 by John McCrarey

A valley hike with the Wednesday Walkers group in the morning hours. A 12-1 dart league victory in the afternoon. And a lonely bar crawl in the evening. That’s the way I roll these days.

The hike was not the one I envisioned when I suggested we tread on ground that is impassable during rainy season. But one turn led to a different direction and unintended locations. Nothing wrong with that, it’s all part of the adventure. Photos later in this post.

Our victory against the It Doesn’t Matter team was not unexpected–they are one of the weaker teams in the league. Fun group of gals though and we had a lot of fun whilst kicking their asses. That’s what it is all about. I stopped into IDM at the end of my bar crawl and took some good-natured ribbing from owner Bob, whose wife was one of the victimized.

I still haven’t got my bar mojo back though. Being a failure at love makes bargirl interactions more depressing than fun these days. But I’ll get over it eventually. If not, I can always be the stereotypical lonely old guy sitting by himself and drinking his sorrows away. Like a character in a Hemingway short story.

Anyway, I’m not complaining about this life I have chosen. It is what it is and I’m glad to have it. To the photos then:

***Waiting for the slowpokes to catch up.***

***This area is underwater most of the year.***

***Over the river on a sturdy bridge.***

Well it’s all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it’s all right, if you live the life you please
Well it’s all right, doing the best you can
Well it’s all right, as long as you lend a hand

I’m not a loser

Posted on 23/February/2022 by John McCrarey

At least I wasn’t one last night. Went through the winner’s bracket without a single leg lost. As is my custom, I offered my opponent in the finals a “tie” and we’d split first and second place money 50-50. She readily agreed (she would have had to beat me twice to win). It was Cristy though, so it was possible. I just prefer to end the night early and not bother with fighting it out. Either I’ve lost my competitive spirit or I don’t give a shit. Or both. Either way, I’m a winner!

No other news of note. Well, the new signage went up at Paula’s place. My friend and blog reader Maria did the design for the coasters and it is now the logo for The Snackbar.

***In the truck waiting for installation.***

***And it is lights on at the Snackbar!***

Another whacked Wednesday is in progress now. Just finished the hike, now I’ll eat, shower, and head out for dart league. I asked our team captain who we are playing today and he said It Doesn’t Matter. Well, I guess it doesn’t but I still wanted to know. Yep, it’s a thrill a minute around here.

Trash Hash

Posted on 22/February/2022 by John McCrarey

I survived another Hash. I didn’t particularly enjoy this week’s edition though. We had a crazy steep, long, and hard climb up for one thing. One section of the trail was covered in garbage. You know, I have empathy for folks scratching out a living up in the hills where conveniences like trash collection don’t exist. But there has got to be a better way than creating your own dump site behind the house. At least dig a hole and bury it. Anyway, rant over.

The climb to the top was on a trail we seldom use (I didn’t remember most of it) and I expect the reason for that is that it is just too damn hard. One of the visiting Hashers, from Manila I think, gave up and turned back about halfway up. Once we were once again on mostly level ground the trail wasn’t bad. My group opted out of a second climb towards the end and walked the streets back to our On-Home at Baloy Beach. A little longer in distance but much flatter. That’s the way I roll these days.

***The course of action as planned by the Hares, Demolition Derby and Blow My Pipe.***

***The “sane” group of Hashers I roll with. We get a 30-minute headstart and shortcut when and where we want.***

***The first kilometer or so was on the streets of Barretto.***

***Fun’s over, let the climbing begin!***

***Black and Dick Her posing in front of the abodes of the hillside dwellers.***

***Behind those houses, our path was paved in garbage.***

***Get Your Rocks Off points out the error of their ways.***

***I hope you get a sense of just how steep the climb was from this photo.***

***Vienna Sausage, one of the first runners to catch up with and pass the sane group.***

***That’s as close as we got to Easter mountain.***

***Soon to be uling (charcoal) no doubt.***

This was one of the most bizarre things I saw on trail. As we began our descent we came upon this staircase. Solidly built out of stone with unusually high-quality craftsmanship. The steps went on and on and must have cost a small fortune to construct. And then they ended at a barbwire fence halfway down the mountain. No idea what purpose they were intended to serve, but by all appearances, it was someone’s broken dreams.

***Back on the mean streets of Barretto at last.***

***On-Home at the Viking resort on Baloy.***

Lots of beer drinking at the Hash and finished my night with some more beers at the Car Wash. Slept the peaceful sleep of the inebriated.

As days go around here, it was a mostly good one.

Life goes on. Again.

Posted on 21/February/2022 by John McCrarey

And so it goes. Until it doesn’t. All you can do is enjoy the ride as best you can. The adventure is seeing what’s around the next corner. Bring it on!

I don’t know what I’m feeling these days. Melancholy might be close. But I’ve been in darker places. Actually, I’m just doing what I used to do to fill in the time. It may not be all that exciting, but there is comfort in the familiarity. Here’s how my yesterday went down.

***A very pleasant solo morning hike.***

***Revisited a trail through the rice fields that is impassable most of the year.***

Came back home and did my computer time, including writing yesterday’s blog entry. I got a kick out of the comments regarding my inartful, or should I say incorrect, articulation in the post title–One of these is different than the other; subsequently changed to the proper form of: One of these is different from the other. I never even gave it a thought because in my mind that’s how I would have said it. I stand corrected!

***And if you think I talk bad, you should see my writing!*** ***Oh, if you are reading this I guess you have.***

Anyway, life is for learning and I do appreciate the lesson.

I also finished Season Two of the Ricky Gervais Netflix series, After Life. It’s fair to call it a black comedy, although truth be told, it’s not all that funny. What I like about it are the pearls of wisdom in dealing with loss and depression that occasionally shine through. In the last episode, one of the characters referenced a Robert Frost quote: “In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.” Frost is one of my favorite poets and I was unfamiliar with the context, so I did a Google search and found this:

“In all your years and all your travels,” I asked, “what do you think is the most important thing you’ve learned about life?”

He paused a moment, then with the twinkle sparkling under those brambly eyebrows he replied: “In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on. In all the confusions of today, with all our troubles . . . with politicians and people slinging the word fear around, all of us become discouraged . . . tempted to say this is the end, the finish. But life — it goes on. It always has. It always will. Don’t forget that.

Frost said that back in 1954, but damn, those words resonate in these troubled times as well. I wasn’t even born when he uttered those words but the fact that I found comfort in them long after his death says to me that indeed, life goes on.

Beer o’clock rolled around and as is my custom, I made my way into town.

***One of the nice views here in my neighborhood. Honestly, it is hard to be depressed when you are surrounded by beauty.***

I was undecided about where to go for my liquid refreshment. My old haunts just seem so unsatisfying these days. And I really wasn’t feeling up for the whole “buy me a drink” routine from the desperate bargirls. I was thinking I’d just spend the evening looking at the beach, so I headed over to Mango’s.

***Things were in full swing on the beach when I arrived.***

Jetski rentals, banana boat rides, sand, and water. It was nice to see folks out and actually enjoying their lives. I played the part of the lonely old guy sitting by himself at the bar taking it all in. I’ve got lots of experience in that role!

***The beers were going down fast and easy and so was the sun.***

***The sun went out in a blaze of glory. Meanwhile, I dined on the best grilled pork chops in town. Thick and juicy!***

For any of you who might think beer is something I enjoy to excess, I have signed on for this upcoming event:

And then I went home.

I ordered up some coasters for my friend’s bars a while back and they arrived this morning:

It’s another Hash Monday, so stay tuned for a full report on that event tomorrow.

One of these is different from the other

Posted on 20/February/2022 by John McCrarey

***The scary thing is I didn’t notice until I was halfway finished with my dog walk.***

I’m feeling somewhat better today, not quite 100% yet, but making progress. Had some beers at the Car Wash last night and a good long chat with the ex. I have a better understanding and appreciation of her feelings and I can honestly say I wish her nothing but the best in her quest to fulfill her dreams. Some things are just not meant to be, but if you can salvage something positive out of a failed relationship, you have a net gain in the end. Doesn’t always feel that way but letting go of the emotion and embracing reality is a big step forward for me and my mental health.

***The daily special board at It Doesn’t Matter bar.***

There is always something good to eat in this town anyway. I’ll be alright.

Walk and roll

Posted on 19/February/2022 by John McCrarey

The Friday morning group hike turned out to be the highlight of my day. I didn’t play in the dart tournament because one of my darts is still being repaired. That left the third aspect of my life–drinking beer. The problem with that is that I haven’t been able to reacclimate myself to enjoying the meaninglessness of the bar scene. Yeah, I know, give it time.

The truth of the matter is that I feel myself sliding into the black hole of depression. I’ve been there before and I’m confident I’ll be able to claw my way back out, but damn, losing at love again has just turned my world upside down. I don’t know what to do next, especially when the things I used to do have lost much of their appeal. Maybe that will change with time.

It probably doesn’t help that I’ve not been feeling well physically either. Stomach is not right and I’m just generally out of sorts. I tried to walk this morning and aborted the effort before I got out of the neighborhood. Just been lazing around the house ever since thinking about things that are better left unsaid. I hope I feel better soon.

Sorry for this downer of a post. But at least I have some pictures of the hike to share.

***Our Friday group. I led the trail since no one else wanted to. One good climb on a seldom-used path, then we circled back to Barretto.***

***It looked like this from a Google-eye perspective.***

***The second half of the hike begins.***

You can Relive the hike here if you want.

That’s it for today. It’s bound to be better soon.

A night on the town

Posted on 18/February/2022 by John McCrarey

***The view as I left the neighborhood on my way into town. Hard to be depressed when I’m living in paradise.***

I guess I could use this title for most of my posts here, but last night was special, at least in the sense that it was my first time bar hopping since my break-up. I started out at Cheap Charlies, one of my former regular haunts. Facebook had advised that my favorite there, Alma, was having a birthday so I thought I’d surprise her. That didn’t work out so well since Alma took the day off to celebrate her birthday. Oh well, the other gals were happy to see me back. One, in particular, Jade, was cracking me up with her witty comments–correctly surmising that I must be single again because I was there and the GF wasn’t. She also noted that my plans to celebrate Alma’s birthday had been fruitless, but suggested we party on without her. So, I bought drinks for the three gals surrounding me, and when I got hungry I ordered some extra food so everyone could partake.

***The leftovers***. ***Happy birthday, Alma!***

My next stop was a new bar in town called Graceland. It’s owned by a Hasher named Dripping Pussy, but she goes by Grace in real life. It’s got to be the smallest bar in town, with inside seating for six. They do have a table out front as well.

***Inside Graceland. The walls are covered in graffiti messages from friends and customers, presumably from some grand opening event I didn’t attend.***

***An example of the proverbial writing on the wall.***

Anyway, I wish them well. I’ll probably pop in again sometime but doubt I’ll become a regular.

A highlight of the evening was my visit to Alaska Club. Regular readers may recall that this was the first bar I visited in the Philippines back in the days when it was located in Angeles City. Lots of memories from those days, including my first-ever barfine.

I did a post about some of those AC memories here if you want to get a sense of what I’m talking about. Anyway, like all the bars in Barretto, Alaska has been suffering without the free-spending tourists who used to frequent the place. I dropped in every couple of months or so, but I was almost always the only customer. And really, without the dancers to offer entertainment, there isn’t a lot of reasons to go there. To make things even worse, the owner, Jerry, had been stuck in the USA for the last twenty months. He kept the bar open solely to provide some income and housing for the loyal employees he left behind. That was an amazing act of charity in my opinion.

Anyway, when I entered the bar I saw right away that I was once again the only customer. But then I saw Jerry coming up to welcome me–he finally made it back to the Philippines. We had a great chat for over an hour and the beer was flowing. He’s really an interesting guy (a retired airline pilot who hails from Alaska) with lots of stories to tell. I shared with him some of my memories of those early days back in AC and asked if he remembered Sheryl. He didn’t recognize the photo I showed him but called over his mamasan who has been in his employ for 16 years to have a look. She recognized Sheryl immediately and confirmed that she is married and living in Australia, where she works as a nurse. That last detail was a surprise–I had sponsored Sheryl’s caregiver certification, she must have continued her education in her new life. Good for her! And welcome back, Jerry. Your presence in the bar will be enough to bring some customers like me in and the tourists are on their way! Better days are coming for us all.

A drunken night

Posted on 17/February/2022 by John McCrarey

Drinking my blues away was the objective and as far as I can remember it was a successful endeavor. Started out in the early afternoon at Harley’s on Baloy where I participated with my Lagoon teammates in 10-3 thrashing in dart league action.

***My teammates after our successful afternoon of dart play.***

***One of the views we enjoyed from Harley’s.***

***This odd-looking device was on the bar…no idea what it is used for…***

I had achieved a pretty nice buzz by the end of the dart match, but I was just getting started. I needed to get one of my darts repaired so I walked further down Baloy Beach road to the Viking resort. Cristy, one of the dart players there, has the equipment needed to fix my broken dart, so I left it with her. Viking had just finished putting a whipping on Johan’s, and a couple of the gals from Johan’s I know were still there, so naturally, I greeted them. They left before I concluded my business with Cristy.

Since I was already in the middle of Baloy I decided to continue my drinking at a nice little beach bar nearby called McCoy’s. As I walked up I was surprised to see the two gals from Johan’s there as well. Turns out one of them was having a birthday, so I bought a round of drinks in her honor. Now, the one thing I don’t like about McCoy’s is they have a karaoke machine, and it is apparently always set at full volume. Some young woman was wailing away when I arrived. Normally, I just move on to somewhere else, but since the birthday girl wanted a drink, I stuck around. She eventually decided she wanted a turn on the videoke machine, so she deposited the requisite coins and grabbed the mike. I don’t remember what she sang, but it sounded alright.

And then she insisted that I take a turn. Play the video below at your own peril. You’ve been warned!

It always sounds so much better in my head. Ah well. Even bad singing doesn’t impact the view from McCoy’s:

After a couple of beers, I decided to head on back to Barretto. As I passed by my ex’s place, I thought, fuck it, I’m going in. Dick didn’t seem happy to see me but the ex joined me at my table for a glass of wine. I’m glad we are still on friendly terms.

After a few more beers and a chicken burger the ex ordered for me, I decided to visit It Doesn’t Matter. It’s been quite a while since I’ve been in any of my old haunts, and I was given a warm welcome back by the staff. I also got to have a nice chat with my favorite there, Roan. It was after 10 p.m. now and I’d been drinking for over 8 hours. I was at my limit. I don’t even remember paying my tab, I’ll check on that tonight. Caught a trike on home and my drunken Wednesday came to a close.

Here are some photos from the Wednesday Walkers hike for those of you who enjoy the scenery.

***We caught a Jeepney out to the Waltermart in Subic town and then walked the 9K on backroads to Barretto. Mostly paved and flat.***

***Speaking of backsides, here’s a view of Easter mountain that I rarely see.***

***Watch out for those female drivers!***

We crossed this bridge when we came to it. I’m not big on suspension bridges, especially the way they sway and bounce as you walk. This one was pretty solid though. Still got a little queasy in the middle, but I lived to blog about it.

***Back on trail on the other side of the river.***

***And that’s pretty much all there is to see from this walk.***

***This week’s edition of the Wednesday Walers.***

***This post is outstanding in its field.***

Anyway, time for me to get on with my Thursday drinking. Gonna hit Cheap Charlies to start and get reacquainted with my favorites there. Also, a couple of new bars have opened since my barhopping days were interrupted in the pursuit of love. Now that it is just me again, I have no one else to disappoint. Life has its compensations I suppose.

When it is over

Posted on 16/February/2022 by John McCrarey

The girlfriend packed her things this morning and left me. The fact that this ending was inevitable doesn’t make it any less painful. I love her but sometimes love just isn’t enough. And I had promised that when this day came I would support her decision. You can’t love someone and not do whatever it takes for her to be happy, even at the cost of your own happiness. We parted with a hug and a promise to hold on to the memory of the love we shared. That is a much better ending than the “fuck off” it could have been. I’m thankful for that.

And that is how this first day of the rest of my life began. I did a long hike with the Wednesday Walkers group this morning. That did help me clear my head a little. Next up is darts league. And after that, I expect I’ll find a comfortable place to sit and drink my pain away. Yep, time to embrace the meaninglessness and emptiness of my life without love once again. The best part of that is that no one can hurt me there.

Valentine’s Day Hash

Posted on 15/February/2022 by John McCrarey

VD fell on Hash Monday this year. That apparently caused a conflict of interest. The number of attendees was way down from normal, anyway. My girl wasn’t particularly pleased with my decision to Hash instead of romance, but as I explained to her, I could do both. I also noted that she could always join me at the Hash which seemed to end the debate. Anyway, I did the trail but skipped the Hash circle rituals. Yesterday was my 119th consecutive week of Hashing so I didn’t want to break my streak. Once I paid my fee, my record was intact so I could safely leave early and treat my gal to dinner at her favorite restaurant. So, win-win, right?

***The trail as laid. I shortcut the second climb though.***

***Only 5 of us “sane” Hashers yesterday, the smallest turnout in recent memory.***

***Leaving Alta Vista. Yeah, I took a very similar shot of Easter mountain on my Sunday walk. Just in case this one looks familiar.***

***Making our way through Marian Hills. The portion of the trail we did was all pretty familiar terrain. The Hares did a crappy job marking the trail though, which was pretty irritating.***

***One up, one down, and the rest was flat.***

***Nosey Bastard lurking about at the top…***

***Marks we could actually see were few and far between.***

Maybe you can see the arrow on this post, but it’s a strain to do so. No powder at all on one of the major turns leading to the second up. I had no interest in making that climb and the poorly marked trail didn’t make me regret the decision not to do so.

***I got my rocks off making my own way back to the On-Home.***

As I mentioned above, just a couple of beers at Blue Butterfly then I went to meet my dinner date. Other than her, the best part of the meal was the view. My dinner was served almost cold. Service was slow. I’m not sure why Papagayo is her favorite place but I’m reluctant to go back after my experience last night.

***The view was good but not much else.***

Finished the night at the GF’s new place, called The Snack Bar. More drama courtesy of the Dick, but I’m pretty much at the point where I just shrug it off. It must suck to be a loser like him and I can be thankful that I’m the better, and luckier, man.

There you have a snapshot from another day in the life and times of your humble correspondent. Stay tuned for more installments.

Enjoy your VD!

Posted on 14/February/2022 by John McCrarey

Well, I’ll be damned. I made it to Valentine’s Day with some semblance of a relationship still intact. It may not be all I wanted or expected it to be, but its survival, in and of itself, defies all odds. No idea what will happen next but I’ll worry about that tomorrow.

I started my VD eve at the Palm Tree hotel for beers and dinner.

***But first I had to get there.*** ***My new preferred path to exit the neighborhood. A little steep and rocky in the beginning, but it is the fastest way out.***

***Watching the sun go down from my perch at the Palm Tree…***

***Dinner is served. I went with the Thai sweet and sour pork offering.***

After dinner, I spent a couple of more hours hanging out at the GF’s resto-bar while she took care of business. A little boring sometimes but the beer is cold. Beats drinking alone, that’s for sure.

I’ve also begun watching a series on Netflix produced by and starring Ricky Gervais, After Life. It’s a dark, comedic take on the life of the protagonist (Gervais) after the tragic passing of his beloved wife. I’m only halfway through the first season, but so far, so good. The third and final season debuted last month. Only six 30-minute episodes per season, so I don’t have to invest a large portion of my precious time to get through it. Give it a watch if you are so inclined.

And those Facebook memories strike again! Nine years ago I crafted this parody poem when I fancied myself to be a semi-pro darter who went by the handle of “Walrus”.

The Walrus at the Oche

The outlook was looking bleak that night as 501 did play
His opponent sat on a double 16--an out he could hit any day
While the Walrus was faced with a hefty sixty and a ton
A possible out for sure--but one he'd never done

It would have been much closer but he was throwing like a dope
So there didn't seem to be much cause for having any hope
A victory seemed unlikely, but then you never know
And win or lose you still got to make the throw

The Walrus swigged his beer then stepped up to the line
It could have been that he was drunk or just really feeling fine
When Jee Yeun shouted "fighting baby" he let go with a small fart
There wasn't any question it was The Walrus with the dart

There was ease in his manner as The Walrus took his stance
He took a breath, shook his head, and wiped his hands upon his pants
He gazed upon his target and then let his Widow fly
When the chalker called out "triple" The Walrus heaved a sigh

"He always was a lucky fuck" someone muttered in the crowd
"Come on! let's see another one!" shouted others right out loud
It hadn't seemed that hot before but The Walrus did perspire
And then he threw another dart--a triple, just inside the wire

And now what seemed impossible was just a 40 out
The Walrus was feeling confident, there wasn't any doubt
He owned the double 20, or so he liked to think
He'd throw this dart, win the match, and buy the house a drink

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout
But there is no joy in Itaewon--The Walrus has bounced out.

(with apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer)

And no, I didn’t quit my day job–that was during my first go at retirement.

***This pretty much captures how I looked most of the time back then.*** Might be hard to believe, but I was actually pretty contented with that life. Little did I know it would all come crashing down. And here I am all these years later once again standing on the precipice.

Such is life. I’m older but not much wiser. At least I don’t smoke and there’s a lot less of me these days. Let’s see what happens next.

Take it or leave it

Posted on 13/February/2022 by John McCrarey

It occurs to me that love is not an all-or-nothing proposition. A relationship might not always develop in ways that you had hoped for but the underlying foundation of love ought to be strong enough to keep the bond alive. You can lose someone but not lose the love if that makes any sense. Anyway, I’m glad that there has not been a crash and burn ending. Instead, a different but deeper understanding of what is important and an openness to whatever may lay ahead has been developing. I’m happy for that.

Yesterday was pretty much a lazy day, didn’t even bother to get off my ass and take a hike. Of course, when beer o’clock rolled around I found the motivation to head into town for some liquid refreshment. I plopped myself down at the outdoor poolside bar at Outback and drank alone for a couple of hours.

***I had this view to keep me company, and it sufficed.***

***About the time the sun was going down, the GF joined me.***

We moved up the beach to Mango’s and enjoyed the grilled pork chop dinner together. Then it was back to her new place, The Snack Bar. I had some more beers while she took care of some business. I was a little snockered when I finally got home but still managed to blend up a batch of smoothies and watch an episode of Cobra Kai.