Or, to be more precise, hello from Bauang, which is a municipality within the province of La Union. We arrived at our destination after a thankfully uneventful four-hour drive. One of the local Hashers invited us to the local hangout, a bar formerly called Footlights and now goes by Amante. There was a Friday night special on offer that included all you could drink from four until eight pm, food, and a special dance performance. It sounded almost SOB-like and was priced similarly, at 650 pesos per person. So, that’s what we did. No Zero or wine was available, so we drank San Miguel Light. The higher alcohol content and the urge to drink my money’s worth created the drunken result you’d expect. The food was a serving of chicken cordon bleu, which was better than I had expected. The dance performance? Well, it was two gals dancing solo. The first song was typical bar gyrations, similar to what you see in Barretto. When the second song started, everything came off. Yep, totally nude dancing. This is the first time I’ve seen that anywhere in the Philippines. Now, being the old-fashion codger that I am, I prefer some things left to the imagination. But it was nice to see something a little different in a bar. Leave it to beaver!

Swan and I did a nightcap at the hotel bar, although, for some reason, I have little recollection of that event. And now, a new and sunny day has dawned. It looks to be a good day for Hashing!

Sorry to disappoint, but there are no photos of the dancers. After their performance, they came around all the tables (fully dressed again) with a tip jar. I was happy to reward them for showing us everything they have.

So, it was a good first night here in La Union.

• Lady Drinks: 450 pesos
• Alcohol: 200 pesos
• Party: 1300 pesos
• Tips: 350 pesos
• Snacks: 550 pesos
• Gasoline: 1000 pesos
• Lodging: 5000 pesos
• Trikes: 100 pesos
• Total for October 25: 8750 pesos

Today’s stroll down memory lane:

In today’s YouTube video, Reekay provides an update on the body that washed ashore–turns out it was not the kidnapping victim. I doubt he’s still alive though.

Let’s try some humor:

Okay, I’ve got the La Union Hash House Harriers 41st Anniversary event to attend to. Tell you all about it tomorrow.

Another empty page has now been filled, but it being a Tuesday, there were plenty of open spaces. That’s why we have to live them to see what they may bring.

In a break from the normal routine, we stopped at the Ulticare Hospital on the way to Royal. It seems they were in need of a donation. So, I gave them a vial of my blood, but that wasn’t enough for the greedy bastards.

Shopping went as expected, and I was pleasantly surprised to see corn bread mix on sale.

Even with the sale prices, groceries don’t come cheap these days:

With the morning chores completed, it was time to think about those late afternoon hours. I had it in my head to do the Baloy Beach thing, but I asked Swan what she wanted to do first. “How about Baloy?” was her response. It is so sweet that we are on the same page most of the time.

And then I noticed this:

We spent a pleasant hour at Kokomo’s, chatting (and drinking) with the owner. He had planned on anchoring the floating bar this week, but Typhoon Kristine changed those plans. Hopefully, I’ll be spending my Tuesday evenings on the floater starting next month.

When we were ready to eat, we headed up the beach to Treasure Island. They weren’t too busy, and the owner bought us a round of drinks. Swan asked me if I would order some food for the waitresses, and of course, I did not object. Another example of us being on the same page.

We finished our drinks and grabbed a trike to Alta Vista. And so ended another day in the life.

“Money don’t get everything, it’s true, but what it don’t get, I can’t use…”

• Dinner: 1160 pesos
• Tips: 350 pesos
• Groceries: 15,500 pesos
• Alcohol: 1110 pesos
• Electricity: 3800
• Driver: 1000 pesos
• Healthcare: 750 pesos
• Charity: 200 pesos
• Trike: 100 pesos
• Total for October 22: 22,970 pesos

Twelve years ago, I was hanging with my pal Simon in Itaewon to celebrate his birthday.

Seven years ago, I penned this gem:

Death to Aria! I was attacked in my sleep last night. The battle raged from 0200-0300. I was unable to digest why it was happening and was in danger of being completely liquefied. I retreated from the bedroom and eventually purged the intruder. When I awoke a few hours later, I found myself on more solid ground. I’m just glad the attack didn’t occur on the subway, or I would have been in deep doo-doo.

Who says those creative writing classes were a waste of time?

I’m laughing at a lot of those Trump doing McDonald’s memes. Like this one:

Today’s YouTube video is the latest from Reekay, talking about mistakes guys make in their search for the perfect Filipina. I’ve found the right one for me, but it took me over five years of fuck-ups. So, here’s your chance to learn from the ignorance of others:

Today’s funnies:

Well, so far, at least, the typhoon has brought some mild rain and very little wind. I’ve seen photos of flooding elsewhere in the PI. It was enough to cancel the Wednesday Walkers group hike this morning, though. I’m likely going to break out the umbrella come beer o’clock and give a local bar or two some business. Hey, I call it disaster relief! I’ll let you know how that works out for me tomorrow.

I report, you decide.

The day began with the Friday group hike. We kept it local this time, and other than fighting our way through the overgrown thatch grass, we had a good walk.

It was SOB Friday, and when I attend, I arrive early in order to secure a good seat. Most of the venues open at five, and the show starts at six. The Green Room’s regular opening hour is four, so that meant having a longer than usual wait. Swan joins me just before the show begins to avoid that suffering. So, how do you kill the time sitting in a bar? Oh yeah, beer!

The show started on time. Seven hundred pesos each for admission, but the beer is free from six to eight. I consider it a challenge to get my money’s worth, but I can’t drink enough to make up for that slowpoke Swan. No big deal. Before the dancing started, Swan observed one of the GROs rubbing the crotch of the guy at a nearby table. She called the guy an asshole, but I pointed out he wasn’t rubbing on the girl. Anyway, people do what they do, and it is not my concern if it doesn’t affect me.

I was a judge for the contest again, and this week, I was totally in sync with my fellow judges:

As usual, when the show was over, I was done. We had our regular trike driver meet us outside and headed home.

Here’s how I emptied my wallet yesterday:

• Cable/Internet: 3500 pesos
• Alcohol: 450 pesos
• Tips: 420 pesos
• Trike: 200 pesos
• Phone: 3800 pesos
• Lady Drinks: 700 pesos
• Charity: 3500 pesos
• Snacks: 100 pesos
• SOB Fee: 1400 pesos
• Dinner: 520 pesos
• Total for October 18: 14,590 pesos

Ah, the memories.

Yesterday’s YouTube videos about the poor SOB locked up in jail for pot possession were a lesson in the consequences of being stupid. And today, we have yet another example. Reekay shares the story of a Yank who was kidnapped in Zamboanga, a stronghold for Muslim terrorists in southern Mindanao. I wouldn’t even VISIT that area, let alone choose to live there. Stupid is as stupid does, I suppose. I wish him well, but unless he knows someone willing to pay a hefty ransom, he’s screwed.

Alright, to the humor then:

Saturday is in play. Swan says she is craving a steak dinner at Jewel Cafe, and I’m going to leave her feeling satisfied in that regard. After that, who knows? I do have some coupons from the SOB to expend, so we shall see.

Besides drinking? Not much.

Exciting shit, eh? But wait, there’s more! It had been days (two of them!) since I’d last interjected myself in the Barretto nightlife scene. I decided some treats for the girls were in order, so I brought along chocolate marshmallow pies, some lollipops, and this bag of candy:

One of my favorites at the It Doesn’t Matter bar is a gal that goes by the name of Hershe. I’ve teased her in the past by misreading it as “he-she” and asking if she was a bakla (trans). So, my plan last night was to call her over to my table and tell her there is something I’ve wanted to do since we first met, but she should get a lady drink first. When she returned, I would say, I hope you will understand my intentions. I’ve already discussed this with Swan (yes, Swan was in on the joke), and she is fine with me doing this. Having created the appropriate level of anticipation, I would then say, “Hershe, I want to give you kisses!” After enjoying her reaction, I would pull the candy out of the bag and hand it to her. Then we’d all have a good chuckle. Except my plans went awry when Hershe chose not to show up for work. Oh well, I took the bag of candy to Wet Spot and told the head waitress I wanted to give all the girls kisses. I let her do the distribution.

We wound up staying at IDM longer than usual and enjoyed some food with our beverages.

As mentioned, we did our nightcap at Wet Spot. I bought the usual lady drinks for waitress Irene and head waitress (and Hasher) Beth. The surprise of the visit occurred when Aine came down off her high horse and greeted us at our table before ascending to the stage to join the other dancers. Swan had no issues with bringing Aine down to enjoy a lady drink for old-times sake. In a gesture of goodwill, I offered Aine something to suck on, and she gratefully accepted (a lollipop). Anyway, I sensed Swan didn’t engage with Aine with as much camaraderie as she had in the past. I guess that’s what happens when someone reveals the true nature of their character, as Aine did in turning her back on a friend.

Anyhoo, we had a nice enough evening out in Barretto. Dropped more change than usual in the bars, especially on lady drinks. But that’s the price you pay sometimes when you are having a good time. And I’m sure the gals appreciated it.

• Alcohol: 1150 pesos
• Lady Drinks: 1400 pesos
• Dinner: 850 pesos
• Charity 600 pesos
• Tips: 250 pesos
• Trike: 200 pesos
• Snacks: 700 pesos
• Prescription Meds: 600 pesos
• Total for October 17: 5750 pesos

Facebook memories carried me back to Pyeongtaek where I attended a staff dinner party/housewarming at the new home of one of my employees, Ms. Yi.

At least my life has not changed in the way this guy’s did–in a Filipino jail for possession of marijuana. Using and selling drugs in this country is beyond dumb. My number one goal since moving here has been to avoid doing ANYTHING that might be construed as criminal. Yeah, that eighteen-year-old was borderline stupid, but I did at least get a copy of her birth certificate before agreeing to meet her in person. Anyway, this guy is screwed. He was apparently not popular with his fellow Angeles expats, but I wouldn’t wish this fate on anyone. It was his own damn fault, though.

Here’s a take on the situation from another vlogger (including visiting the guy in jail) if you are interested.

I need some humor after watching that shit:

I woke up to this staring at me through the bedroom window this morning.

Swan and I will be attending the SOB dance competition tonight at Green Room. We’ll turn another page in the story of my life tomorrow. See you then!

The Wednesday Walkers made the journey out to San Narciso, and we shared a beach adventure. Swan and I enjoyed breakfast together on the Mope Resort beachside pavilion as we awaited the group’s arrival. Oh, and reader Scott reminded me that Mope = My Outta Pocket Expenses. The Aussie sponsor has a nice sense of humor!

So, one of the locals told us to turn right. We did, and reached the end of the road. A local there said there was no way through. Scott, Swan, and I retreated back the way we came. The rest of the group continued marching forward.

After lunch, I walked back to Mope with Swan and Michael. Michael retrieved his car and left to pick up the group at Joe’s. My driver was waiting when we arrived. I checked out of my room, and we headed for home.

When we arrived home, the power outage was still ongoing, but it was restored a few minutes before the scheduled six p.m. end. I decided the rooftop was The Rite Spot for me to spend my Wednesday evening.

And so ended another day in the life.

Here’s how I emptied my wallet:

• Driver: 2000 pesos
• Charity: 2300 pesos (candy)
• Tips: 400 pesos
• Breakfast: 500 pesos
• Alcohol: 600 pesos
• Lunch: 400 pesos
• Trike: 150 pesos
• Total for October 16: 6350

I mentioned the other day that you don’t see down-and-out expats on the streets of Barretto. Sadly, that’s not true everywhere. One of the Facebook groups I follow posted this photo today:

Living with less is a common thing for many Filipinos. In today’s YouTube video, The Filipina Pea visits a provincial family to show us their way of life. I see many similar residences in my backcountry walks, so I found hearing and seeing the way things are quite fascinating.

Today’s funny stuff:

I reckon I ought to see what’s been going on in Barretto since I’ve not visited for two whole nights now. Someone has to keep the bars in business, right?

The rare fun-filled Tuesday is now history. Well, it wasn’t all fun. I kicked things off with a visit to the immigration office for another sixty-day tourist visa extension, which got approved without a problem. I also had to renew my Alien Certificate of Registration (ACR) card, so my fees were doubled this time. Oh, well, that’s the price you gotta pay.

Next up was the grocery shopping chore. I gave the Pure Gold supermarket a try in search of things I can’t find at Royal. Wound up spending over 11,000 so I guess it was a successful endeavor. Then, I went to Royal to fill in the gaps and spent another 11,000. Oh, well. The cabinets are full again.

We offloaded the groceries at home, loaded up the suitcase and backpacks, then headed for San Narciso. I turned on my tracker so I could map the journey, and it looks like this:

I got a nice room this time, not that I spent much time in there. We unpacked, I knocked out yesterday’s blog post, and then we headed to the place that makes Mope special…outside seating with beach views. And cold beer, of course!

Our friend Michael arrived later in the afternoon; then he took a swim in the ocean. He joined us for a beer before we headed to resto-bar a few blocks away named Joe’s Dawgs.

When we were done at Joe’s, Michael dropped us back at Mope and headed home. The night’s fun wasn’t over, though. Swan and I grabbed some seats and engaged in our nightcap activities. I had a hankering for some ice cream and sent one of the Mope crew to the store to fetch what I thought would be cones.

So, it was off to bed for a good night’s sleep in preparation for today’s adventure. I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.

What yesterday cost me:

• Tips: 670 pesos
• Alcohol:1600 pesos
• Snacks: 800 pesos
• Dinner: 500 pesos
• Driver: 3000 pesos
• Visa Extension: 6200 pesos
• Hotel: 2750 pesos
• Charity: 200 pesos
• Groceries: 22,700 pesos
• Total for October 16: 38,420 pesos

Good times don’t come cheap!

Eleven years ago, I was hanging out at the Puddlin’ Duck in Columbia, South Carolina, with my dart buddies, Gunny and James.

Sadly, both of them left this world behind within a couple of short years after that happy day.

Today’s YouTube video talks about the things Filipinos find weird about foreigners. I’m guilty of most of them.

Humor time:

I am literally out of time. No power here and my laptop battery is almost gone. I’ll fill the gaps tomorrow.

I’m gonna keep on keepin’ on as long as I can!

Another good day in the life. A Candy Walk, a feeding, and a pool party with the neighborhood gang filled the Sunday hours in a satisfying fashion.

The party began at four, so I went to Hideaway early. No Jewel Cafe this week; I just gave the girls cash for some chicken and meat sticks. A couple of beers later, and I caught a trike back home. Then, it was off to Maksil’s place for the neighborhood gathering.

It was an easy stroll home after I’d had my fill of beer and fun—and it didn’t cost much, either!

• Alcohol: 240 pesos
• Lady Drinks: 450 pesos
• Charity: 1800 pesos (Hideaway feeding)
• Trike: 400 pesos
• Lunch 550 pesos
• Tips: 50 pesos
• Trash Collection: 100
• Total for October 13: 3590 pesos

I posted a video about island hopping in Pundaquit yesterday, and coincidentally, Facebook memories reminded me this morning that it was one year ago that I was doing that tour:

Eight years ago, I won a darts tournament in Bangkok:

Ten years ago, I posted something that is truer now that it ever was:

I don’t like the leftist agenda, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like the leftist agenda, denigrate means “put down.”

Today’s YouTube vlogger declares that calling the Philippines “third world” is a myth. That made me laugh because he lives in Bonifacio Global City (BGC), the enclave of Manila where the rich folks live. That ain’t the real PI, dude! I often joke that Alta Vista isn’t in the Philippines, but I can hear it from here. The squatter villages and shanty towns are a lot more authentic representations than BGC. Still, the video offers some nice street scenes of the place where the wealthy (locals and expats) can live and pretend the rest of this third-world country doesn’t exist.

Today’s lame humor:

Hash Monday has arrived once more. This morning on the dog walk I was greeted with this:

My big news is that tomorrow, after shopping, Swan and I will travel to San Narciso to stay overnight at the Mope Beach Resort. The motivation for planning this adventure is that there is a scheduled all-day power outage for Wednesday. No need to stay home for that! We’ll see how the logistics work out, but I may have to alter the blog posting schedule some. We shall see.

Oh, and my buddy Kevin will be heading out for his annual cross-Korea hike tomorrow. You can follow along on the adventure here. Good luck, stay safe, and have fun, Kev!

Today’s closing song is one I had totally forgotten until I saw it mentioned in passing on the Althouse blog today. I also learned that the songwriter/performer, Mason Williams, was a comedy writer for the old Smothers Brothers show. Damn, what a talented man! Glad to get reacquainted.

It was also fun to watch these two hear it for the first time:

Well, I live on Luzon Island, and my life here is a treasure (to me), so the title of this post is apt. I also spent my evening at Treasure Island Resort on Baloy Beach. My Saturday on the island began with a street stroll through Barretto. Swan joined me for the walk.

As mentioned above, we journeyed out to Treasure Island later in the afternoon. We had some unexpected afternoon rain, so there was a question as to whether there would be live music (it’s an outdoor venue). The rain stopped, and the band started about an hour late, so it all worked out in the end.

Then it was time to eat.

Enjoyed some more music and then grabbed a trike for home, stopping at 7/11 for some ice cream cone treats to share with the guards. And another day came to an end.

Easy come, easy go:

• Meat: 4600 pesos
• Fruit and Veggies: 700 pesos
• Lunch: 400 pesos
• Trike: 250 pesos
• Charity: 120 pesos
• Snacks: 330 pesos
• Dinner: 760 pesos
• Tips: 150 pesos
• Alcohol: 1160 pesos
• Total for October 12: 8470 pesos

All I have from the Facebook memories is two quotes I posted twelve years ago:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

–Mark Twain

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’d be glad to make an exception.

–Groucho Marx

I have no recollection as to why I posted them.

Today’s YouTube video is an island hop off Pundaquit. I’ve done that before, and it was quite nice. The Pundaquit/San Antonio area is somewhere I could consider living should things in Barretto ever go to crap. I doubt that’s going to happen in this lifetime, though.

Humor break:

A little shakeup in the Sunday routines today. We got the Candy Walk done, but dinner at John’s place has been supplanted by an invite to a party and Maksil’s house here in the neighborhood. I’m going to make an appearance at Hideaway and fund the feeding, but I won’t be sticking around for long because the party starts at four. Something different is always nice!

Most days, it feels like I’m just filling the hours. But yesterday, the hours were full of fun and adventure. Fulfilling indeed!

Things kicked off when the Friday group hikers traveled to the wilds of San Marcelino to explore the shore of Mapanuepe Lake. The lake was formed after the Mount Pinatubo eruption in 1991 blocked the river and flooded the valley, creating a lake and drowning three villages in the process. Check out the link for the interesting details.

What was unique about yesterday’s hike was that none of us had ever been here before. Well, I came this way two years ago, but we were across the lake in the campground area back then. The terrain we explored this time was virgin territory. I had it in my head that we could go overland to the campground, but I was wrong about that. We also had thought we could hike some of the way on the lake shore, but other than where we started in the village of Aglao, that was not to be. Still, everything being new and us being clueless added to the feeling of adventure. We were only on one hill but went up and down it twice, looking for our way. Ultimately, we had to retreat and retrace our steps to get back to where we started (and where the car was parked). We all agreed it was a fun trek and enjoyed the beauty of nature that surrounded us.

With the long drive and beer stop on the way back, I got home much later than usual. And I had a grand opening to attend. So, I dashed off a blog post, took a shower, and we set about heading into town.

Good luck to MacArthur’s. It’s a tiny place in a small town with fifty other bars, but maybe it will become an expat hangout. I doubt I’ll be more than an occasional customer, but I’m looking forward to the Baloy Beach venue.

We also had a dinner date with the neighborhood group from Alta Vista on our schedule. Papagayo was the chosen venue, and it is conveniently located almost next door to MacArthur’s.

After the meal, the group moved up the highway to another newish venue, Red Stars. Yeah, we made some commie jokes about that name.

It was getting close to nine p.m., and the group was going to make Green Room the next stop. I’d had enough by now, and I pride myself on knowing when to say when. So, I said goodnight, and we caught a trike for home.

It was a gooder day than most and I am grateful to have had it. Here’s what it cost me:

• Salary: 1000 pesos (part-time helper)
• Prescription Meds: 1400 pesos
• Jeepney: 50 pesos
• Trike: 200 pesos
• Dinner: 415 pesos
• Lady Drinks: 520 pesos
• Tips: 200 pesos
• Alcohol: 1840 pesos
• Total for October 11: 5625 pesos

To the memories from my glory days:

Seven years ago, I experienced a different kind of danger in Boracay:

In today’s YouTube video, Filipina Pea explores something that used to be near and dear to my heart: transactional relationships. She poses the question of whether, in truth, ALL relationships are transactional. Thinking in terms of me and Swan, I’d say no. But there is a voice in my head asking what would happen if I lost my pension and the house and lived on the street. As am I wont to say, I don’t know, and I don’t care. I’d probably die before crossing that bridge anyway.

And now for some humor:

This evening, we plan to visit Treasure Island on Baloy and enjoy some live music. Hopefully, the rain will hold off. See you back here tomorrow!

And the “first time hearing” video:

First things first:

Gonna have to rush through today’s post. I’ll explain why tomorrow. For now, let me briefly cover how my two doctor visits (pulmonary and cardiologist) went yesterday. Nothing new with the lungs other than a change to my inhalers. The heart doc reviewed my results from the echocardiogram I did in Angeles and declared, “You have a big heart.” Naturally, I thanked her for the compliment. Turns out, she meant the left side of my heart is enlarged. The good news is my body has compensated, and at least so far, the blood is pumping through in normal amounts and leaving nothing behind. So, there is nothing that needs to be done for now other than monitoring every six months to ensure everything is still functioning as it should be. As for the aortic stenosis, it is in the mild range and, for now, does not pose a problem. That will also be part of the six-month review to make sure things aren’t changing for the worse. The doctor was concerned about the fluid retention in my ankles and prescribed a new med to hopefully correct the edema. These symptoms are all precursors of congestive heart failure, which is what my mother died from at seventy-eight years old. My goal is to make it to eighty-three (to match or outlive my father), so I’ll do my best to follow the doctor’s advice. The bottom line is that, as of now, I am not displaying any of the symptoms that are indicative of imminent heart failure. That sounds like news I can live with!

After the appointments were done, I headed home to enjoy an evening at The Rite Spot On The Roof.

And then it was time for a rooftop dinner.

A good finish to the day.

• Charity: 2400 pesos (candy and Mama)
• Doctor Visit: 1400 pesos (two docs, 700 each)
• Trike: 400 pesos
• Jeepney: 50 pesos
• Total for October 10: 4250 pesos

Staying at home is definitely a cheaper option. I’m going to have to do that more often—but not tonight!

The YouTube video I’ve chosen for today is about the poor province girls working at bars in Angeles City. I haven’t watched it yet, so I can’t comment on the content. I do tend to feel sorry for the girls when this line of work is their only option, but taking that option away doesn’t help them either.

And this is where I attempt to put a smile on your face:

So, a great Friday group hike today way out in San Marcelino. With the travel time and after-hike refreshments, I didn’t make it home until three p.m. Usually, no big deal, but today is the grand opening of the newest bar in town, MacArthur’s. I promised my friend Jessa that we’d make an appearance. Again, not a problem, except I accepted a dinner invite with the neighbors for six-thirty at Papagayo. Hence, the rushed post here (can you tell the difference?) and lack of a nap since I need to shower up and head out. At least I’ll have something interesting to post about tomorrow. See you then!

Tuesdays around here are nothing to get excited about, and yesterday was no exception. That won’t keep me from writing about it, though. One of these days, Guinness will recognize the most boring blog in history, and Long Time Gone is bound to be in the running. Thank you, dear readers, for your support!

Let’s get on with it then. Those groceries ain’t gonna buy themselves, so the first order of business was the trip to the Royal Duty-Free Supermarket on SBMA.

Nothing exciting to report from my time in the grocery store.

On the way home, we stopped at the local print shop to get copies of my echocardiogram results made. I’ll be doing my consult with the cardiologist tomorrow.

A quiet remainder of the morning at home, a nap, a blog post, and then it was time to head into town.

My haircut was done before Swan’s feet, so we agreed to meet at Cheap Charlies. I hadn’t visited there for a couple of months because they didn’t have wine the last time I went. I’d seen the CC bartender the night before, and she assured me wine would be available this time. It was.

Swan did, in fact, enjoy the wine she was served when she arrived at Cheap Charlies. My beer was cold and wet, and none of my old regulars work there anymore, so I didn’t have any need to buy lady drinks. I’ll try to fit CC back into my bar circuit.

We had planned on visiting Green Room next, but a peek in the door revealed the place was packed with a pool tournament. So, we plopped ourselves down at Sloppy Joe’s instead. Another wine for Swan and beers for me as we watched the world go by on the street in front of us. And as shocking as it may sound, when we were ready to move on, I didn’t feel like going to another bar. Instead, we went to Sit-n-Bull and ordered some food to bring home. Our night out was over by 7:30. I warned you it was a boring Tuesday!

Here’s where the money went:

• Groceries: 13,360 pesos
• Driver: 1000 pesos
• Charity: 100 pesos
• Tips: 350 pesos
• Alcohol: 1200 pesos
• Foot Spa/Haircut: 400 pesos
• Dinner: 1070 pesos
• Trike: 100 pesos
• Total for October 8: 17,230 pesos

Facebook memories reminded me of a cake I baked six years ago:

Today’s YouTube video has the Filipina Pea interviewing a recently arrived expat who had all his plans ruined by a thieving woman he’d spent months courting in a long-distance relationship (LDR). Shit happens, as I can attest as a past victim of scammers. As I learned the hard way, the ones you’ve never met can burn you the most. Although truth be told, I got fucked over by ones I had met as well.

Today’s humor offerings:

This morning, I went on a short but grueling hike with the Wednesday Walkers group. More on that in tomorrow’s post. Next up, I hope to enjoy some of that beer my genes make me crave. And life goes on.

I enjoy these “hearing it for the first time” videos, hope you do too…

It seems that the more candy we bring, the more kids we encounter. Yesterday, we maxed out our carrying capacity but still had to shorten the Candy Walk when we ran out of goodies. Maybe I need to buy a bigger backpack.

Next up on the Sunday agenda was the Hideaway feeding.

• 1- breaded breast chicken with steamed veggies and fries
• 1-sisig with rice
• 1-garlic prawns with rice
• 1-longasilog
• 1-tapasilog
• 1 five-piece chicken wings (crispy)

Owner Griff was there yesterday, along with a couple of other customers. That always improves the vibe. Some good music videos also helped pass the time enjoyably.

See you all next week! Next up, John’s Place.

John was relaxing in his recliner on the second floor when we arrived and departed. His headphones were on, so we just nodded our hellos and goodbyes.

We made Wet Spot our nightcap venue and enjoyed spending time with Irene and Beth, who is also a Hasher. Another wine, a couple more beers, and some lady drinks to close out our Sunday.

So, here’s how Sunday added up:

• Dinner: 790 pesos
• Alcohol: 1300 pesos
• Tips: 340 pesos
• Lady Drinks: 990 pesos
• Trike: 200 pesos
• Charity: 2300 pesos
• Trash Collection: 100 pesos
• Total for October 6: 6000

The charity expense includes the food from Jewel and also the 1000 pesos I give Joy (a single mother of two) each week to help her keep the kids in school and pay the bills.

I saw this short video of a Trump-hater in action this morning and it reminded me that Karma is a beautiful thing.

And it was also a reminder of this:

Today’s YouTube video left me shaking my head and saying wow repeatedly. The nightmare of being a homeless and destitute foreigner, the poor living conditions of the typical Filipino, and the good heart and generosity given to help a stranger in need are all on display. Yeah, I’m living a rich life here and will do all in my power to ensure that is always the case, but it is good to remember that many others are not so fortunate. It puts my meager charity budget in perspective, that’s for sure.

And now a dose of humor:

So, here it is, another Hash Monday, and the trail awaits. I’ll let y’all know how that works out for me tomorrow. Swan will be joining the fun today, so that will be nice.

And yesterday was one more!

Swan wanted to join me on my Standard Saturday Solo Street Stroll, making it a Modified Saturday Duo Street Stroll. Always nice to have her along, though. And, of course, she wanted to hand out some sweets along the way.

When evening time arrived, I asked Swan where she wanted to hang out. She shrugged and said it doesn’t matter. So, that’s where we started. At first, I thought we had made a mistake because some guy on the other side of the outdoor seating area was holding court on the upcoming US elections. He was being so loud that he may as well have been sitting next to me. It was all standard lefty anti-Trump talking points: mean tweets, lies, not respected by our allies, blah, blah, blah. Someone at his table would state obvious counterpoints about how fucked up things have been since Trump left office, and all the guy had in response was it was worse under Trump. Illegal migrants? Trump didn’t build the wall he promised. And Haitians aren’t eating pets. High fuel prices? Not the government’s fault (ignoring the executive orders Biden signed on day one taking away our energy independence. Anyway, it went on and on. Swan told me to ignore him, but he was so loud I couldn’t even hear the music. If I had been sitting at his table, I’d have pointed out the ignorance of his arguments, but I wasn’t up for getting in a shouting match across the bar. Someone at the table next to the asshole occasionally interjected an inconvenient truth, but the guy kept insisting Kamala would be better.

The loser eventually ended his rant by saying something I finally agreed with: Politics makes people stupid. He was the perfect example of that.

Anyway, once he was gone, we were able to relax and enjoy our visit to IDM. Swan bought two lady drinks for the owner’s wife, and they had a good time chatting in that language I don’t understand. Later on, we moved to Green Room and hung out with our regular crew. We ordered some Sit-n-Bull takeout food and then triked on home.

What did all that fun cost me?

• Dinner: 1120 pesos
• Lady Drinks: 980 pesos
• Alcohol: 1060 pesos
• Tips: 350 pesos
• Snacks: 520 pesos (Angel’s Bakery)
• Trike: 200 pesos
• Charity: 250 pesos (Mama the Umbrella Lady and a beggar)
• Total for October 5: 4430 pesos

Facebook memories carried me back seven years ago when I visited Boracay Island.

I thought Loraine was going to share my upcoming life in the Philippines. Three weeks after our trip to Boracay she gave me the devastating news that she was in love with someone else. I wrote about that in an aptly named post, FUCK ME!

I took the time today to tweak my lefty friends on Facebook:

My old pal John from the UK left this comment:

Whereas in reality, your guy is a convicted rapist who has banned abortions and flies round in epsteins old plane. The end of civilisation indeed!

I usually don’t bother engaging this kind of ignorance, but I did say this: John, enjoy your Kool-Aid. It’s scary to think you believe those lies, but you don’t get to vote, so no worries.

Today’s YouTube video claims that once you go Filipina, you’ll never go back. It’s hard to argue with that. He also makes the point that the less the age gap, the better. He suggests a twenty-year maximum differential. I’ve got twenty-nine on Swan, which seems like nothing, especially compared to my fifty-one-year difference with Mary.

And now for some humor:

And now it’s time for those Sunday routines. Already got the Candy Walk done. Next up is the Hideaway feeding. Then I’ll treat Swan to dinner at John’s place. After that, we shall see.

And here is one of those “first time hearing it” videos:

There may not be a magic formula for maintaining contentment, but here’s the recipe I used to create a satisfying Friday. The first ingredient was a group hike:

The next ingredients in the satisfaction stew included liquid refreshments and beach views. We found both on Baloy.

I felt a hunger inside that needed to be satisfied, so we crossed the street and grabbed a table at the Lagoon Resort.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, a downpour of rain commenced. I didn’t see that coming! On the way home, we had our trike stop at the 7/11, where I purchased some ice cream as the final ingredient to a sweet day. I bought some extra cones for the gate guards and trike driver, so it was a happy ending for everyone.

Here’s what a Beach stew day costs:

• Salary: 2000 pesos (part-time weekend helper)
• Water Bill: 600 pesos
• Dinner: 730 pesos
• Alcohol: 1405 pesos
• Tips: 400 pesos
• Lady Drinks: 580 pesos
• Snacks: 600 pesos (ice cream)
• Trike: 220 pesos
• Total for October 4: 6535 pesos

In other news, the bridge to San Isidro is now open to traffic. They had a big ribbon cutting ceremony yesterday that I could hear from the house.

Twelve years ago, I drove to Chattanooga, Tennessee, to participate in a darts tournament.

I haven’t driven a car in over five years now. Probably for the best.

Communism is in Kamala’s genes (and her jeans, right Wille?):

Today’s YouTube video from The Filipina Pea was a fun exploration of Filipino myths and superstitions. Someone should write a book featuring those evil creatures. Where’s JRR Tolkien when you need him? Oh yeah, he’s dead. Anyway, the one superstition I’ve seen and heard about the most is the belief in ghosts here. There’s a hotel in Angeles City that bargirls won’t visit because they believe it is haunted. And there’s a tunnel leaving the old Navy base that drivers honk when they pass through to scare off a ghost rumored to live there. Hey, believe whatever you want. I believe I’ll have another beer.

Let’s see if I can scare up some humor:

The plan for this evening is to attend the 20th Anniversary party for Harley’s Pub and Hotel on Baloy. I’m not a regular there, but Swan has some Australian friends staying there, and we’ve been invited to drop by for a visit. And so we shall.

UPDATE: Swan changed her mind. She says Harley’s will be too crowded, so I guess we’ll find a different venue to get our groove on.

I’m sure I must have mentioned the unruly dogs down the street from me. It got to the point where I’ve been forced to carry a stick with me to fend them off as I pass by. Swan and some of the neighbors even filed a complaint with the Barangay to no avail. The owner has a fenced yard, but more often than not, left the dogs outside to harass passersby. Honestly, I had seriously considered paying someone to poison the dogs because they were a danger to others (at least two neighbors have been bitten in the past). I never followed through on that plan because I didn’t want to risk running afoul of the law or being deported. So, I was surprised to see this when walking by yesterday morning:

For my Thursday walk, I joined Swan on an excursion to the Subic market. Naturally, we brought some sweets to hand out along the way.

I knew Swan would be wanting to get her beach fixation satiated, so I offered her the choice of Baloy or Kon-Tiki. She chose Baloy, but as we were walking, she changed her mind. We’d usually take a Jeepney to get to Kon-Tiki, but a trike driver called out as we approached the highway, offering us a ride. Hell, why not? We get in and start on our way, and I see Mama, the homeless umbrella lady I’ve been helping some since before I moved here. I had the driver stop, reached for my wallet, and it wasn’t in my pocket. Swan had a hundred pesos and gave it to my Mama. I knew I had refilled my wallet after my shower, so I figured I must have left it on the dresser. So, we had the trike driver take us back to the house. On the way, I checked my other pocket (one I never use), and I’ll be damned, but there was my wallet. Fuck, I should be President! So, we had the driver turn around once more, and we completed our journey to Samba Resort without further incident.

We both ordered the fajitas for our evening meal…chicken for me, shrimp for Swan.

When we arrived, the chef greeted us and said he had seen us hiking on the highway that morning. Ah, life in a small town, even when you are out of town.

We did our nightcap at The Green Room. Lady drinks for Chu and Sally, a wine for Swan, and some more beers for me. Headed for home around eight after a full and satisfying day in the life.

Here is what the day cost me:

• Charity: 2300 pesos (candy for the Sunday Candy Walk)
• Alcohol: 1425 pesos (my beer, Swan’s wine)
• Dinner: 675 pesos
• Trike Fare: 450 pesos
• Lady Drinks: 370 pesos
• Tips: 325 pesos
• Total for October 3: 5545 pesos

I also received the results of my echocardiogram. Obviously, I’m not qualified to interpret them, but I’m seeing the word “mild” a lot, and I hope that’s a good sign. I’ll be going back to the referring cardiologist next week to see what it all means.

Twelve years ago, I was living my darting life in Columbia, South Carolina:

It’s always amazing to me to look back at what I thought would be my life until, suddenly, it wasn’t. I guess that’s a lot like dying.

Today’s YouTube video is from a vlogger I don’t normally follow, but the title of this one caught my eye. Koreans have pretty much taken over the bar scene in Angeles City, and a lot of the Western expats there don’t like that fact. Here in Barretto, the only Koreans I see are the occasional tourists. They seem to be generous and popular with the girls. Now, that said, when I lived in Korea, I met Filipinas who worked for assholes, or worse, married them. I’d also occasionally encounter the “Koreans Only” signage at nightspots. Didn’t bother me much; I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted. I will always remember my girlfriend Eun Oke ending our relationship because I wanted to retire and move to a “poor country.” I’m not sure that qualifies as “looking down” on Filipinos, though. I have no other data points to consider, so I’m going to just say that some Koreans may think Filipinos are inferior, but no more so than other nationalities. Assholes abound, but the good outweighs the bad.

Hopefully, here’s something you can smile about:

I’m going to skip the SOB this week. Instead, I’ll check out what’s happening on Baloy Beach. It’s been a while since my last visit. See you here tomorrow.

Those hours aren’t just going to fill themselves. Here’s how I spent my time yesterday.

A little rain isn’t going to stop the Wednesday Walkers from their appointed rounds. I needed my umbrella on the way to the start, but once it was time to hit the trail, the rain ended. The biggest challenge was picking a route that wouldn’t be a complete bore. I decided we’d had enough street walks lately, so I led the group on a familiar route into the hills, but one we hadn’t done recently. This time of year, the tall and wild thatch grass creates a problem, and yesterday was no exception. We pushed on through it, and my hike mates all said they enjoyed the trek.

I seem to have forgotten to photograph our descent into Marian Hills, but it was uneventful.

The hill climbs during the hike weren’t as challenging as Kalaklan, but going up is never easy for my tired old body. That said, I didn’t suffer over much, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that I didn’t exceed my recommended maximum heart rate.

Later in the afternoon, it was time to head into town to spend some money.

I had an SOB coupon for “buy one, take one” at Alaska Club, so that was our next stop. Damn, those coupons always wind up costing me a lot of money.

We went next door to Wet Spot for our nightcap. There were no other customers there, either. I treated Irene (our regular waitress) to a lady drink and enjoyed my final beers of the night (Swan had had enough wine and switched to water). We ordered some Sit-n-Bull food to bring home (and some lumpia for the Wet Spot girls). Owner Dave arrived, we exchanged greetings, and he bought me a beer. Then the food was delivered, so we called our trike driver, and headed home to eat.

And I filled the rest of my Wednesday hours with some well-earned sleep.

So, let’s see how much money I spent yesterday:

• Meat: 6000 pesos (ribeye steaks, ground beef, pork chops, bacon)
• Prescription Meds: 1600
• Alcohol: 1380 pesos (my beer, Swan’s wine)
• Dinner: 1200 pesos (including lumpia for our waitresses
• Tips: 660 pesos (300 for the Alaska dancers, the rest for our waitresses)
• Lady Drinks: 320 pesos (one in Alaska, one at Wet Spot)
• Snacks: 200 pesos (nuts for the bargirls from the peanut vendor)
• Trike Fare: 150 pesos
• Total for October 2: 11510 pesos

I spent a bit more than usual in the bars, but I was feeling generous for some reason. I guess the lack of customers made me feel sorry for the girls. We’ll see how it goes today.

Facebook memories carried me back fourteen years to my Seoul life:

Ah, ’tis the season for political bullshit:

Today’s YouTube video features Reekay sharing his views on what a good Filipina brings to the table. I can vouch for his accuracy. It took me almost six years, but I finally found one worth keeping. Now the challenge is to not fuck it up.

And now more of what passes for humor in my addled brain:

I’m not sure what’s next on my agenda, but it’s Thirstday, so I’ll do my best to quench it! I’ll be back tomorrow to let you know how it goes (and how much it costs me!).

Be it ever so humble and all, I never left the house yesterday. My landlord, Alicia, came up from Manila to collect the rent and have me sign a new lease on the house. So, this will be the Rite Spot for me for another year. Happy to be here! Alicia brought her sister and son along and we gave them all a good feeding before they headed back home. I had set things up to eat on the roof, but just before the food was served, it started raining again. So, we all retreated downstairs and enjoyed our meal in the dining room.

After my guests had departed and I’d completed my chores (blogging and napping), I decided to spend the remains of the day at home.

So, that’s how I spent the day. Here’s how I spent the money:

• Income: 365,000 pesos (my monthly pension deposit)
• Rent: 38,000 pesos
• Caregiver/Domestic Helper salary: 26,000 pesos
• Swan’s allowance: 16,000 pesos
• Charity: 12,000 (the monthly allotment for the Mountain Mama family I support)
• Total October 1 expenditures: 92,000 pesos

On to the memories. I inadvertently came across a 2006 post titled “A Clean Well-Lighted Place” that nicely captures the life I was living in Itaewon all those years ago. I was shocked to recall that there was a time in my life when I wasn’t going to bed at nine p.m. That night ended with dinner at McDonald’s at three in the morning. And lots of fun and adventure that led me there. Wow.

Today’s YouTube video from the Filipina Pea is a follow-up story about the jobless folks she set up with a business. I admire the effort. Time will tell if it is successful, but at least she provided an opportunity for these folks to help themselves. Long-time readers may recall that I helped my ex-girlfriend Marissa open a food business. It failed after a few months, but I have no regrets.

Humor time:

That one just reminded me of this old video of a Korean woman teaching how to say “Coke” in English.

Anyway, it’s time to move on with my Wednesday evening plans. I don’t really have any, but I’m sure whatever I do will involve cold beverages—other than Coke.

Nothing special, a few beers, dinner at John’s place, then a few more beers. Home by eight and in bed at nine. That’s how this old man rolls these days.

If you follow my routines, you will have noticed that there was a bit of a shakeup. We usually have Sunday dinner at John’s, but we are joining the neighbors next door for a dinner party tonight, so we changed the date for dining out. Yep, more evidence that I can still be a wild and crazy guy when circumstances warrant!

We had originally planned on doing a foot spa, but when we arrived at the salon, it was busy, and I didn’t feel like waiting around. Swan said we could do it another time. We crossed the highway and sat in the outdoor area of the Red Star bar, Barretto’s newest drinking venue. Well, the ownership is new, but the bar isn’t. It was formerly Roadhouse. And before that, Blue Butterfly. When I first moved here, it was Toucan. I guess reincarnation really is a thing.

After Swan finished her glass of wine, we headed to John’s for dinner. John wasn’t there when we arrived; we were also the only customers. As is our custom, we moved up to the open-air third floor to enjoy our dining experience.

I was a little disappointed to see my sandwich served on a bun instead of a roll. The meat was as good as usual, though. Coincidentally, Facebook memories showed me the Philly cheesesteak I had one year ago:

We ran into John as we were leaving. He was coming back from his dialysis treatment and was being helped up the stairs. He looked much better than he did last week, so hopefully, his progress will continue.

We went to Green Room for our nightcap and had a pleasant enough time interacting with our regulars there. Then we called for our trike, got picked up at the front door, and made it home safe and sound. Exciting shit, eh?

Speaking of memories, nine years ago, I was enjoying a night on the town in Itaewon:

Commenter Brian suggested I consider taking Swan on a visit to Korea. I think that would be fun.

Today’s YouTube video features The Filipina Pea talking about poverty in the Philippines. Well, she is doing more than talking about it; she is trying to lend a hand up (versus a hand out) to those most in need. You can’t help everyone, that’s true, but making a difference for some is a start. I respect her efforts.

Humor time:

And now what? I’m going to do the Sunday feeding at Hideaway, then come back home in time for the dinner party next door at five p.m. I’m bringing banana-nut muffins for the girls and brownies for the neighbors. My driver is picking me up bright and early at seven in the morning to take me to the heart clinic in Angeles City. After I’m done with the heart shit, I’m going to do the weekly shopping at S&R (the Philippines version of Costco) in AC. Hopefully, I’ll be back home in time for the Hash run at 2 p.m. I’m not seeing much space in that schedule for blogging, but I’ll do my best to get something up for my faithful few readers. If I fail, there is always Tuesday.

Perhaps the awareness that something you enjoy has an undetermined expiration date makes you appreciate it all the more. There was nothing all that special about yesterday’s group hike other than it felt greater than usual to be out and about. I even enjoyed appreciated the relatively big hill climb we undertook. The fact that I’m feeling stronger these days contributes to the overall enhanced satisfaction with my walking adventures. Hopefully, I’ll have many more hikes like this one to come.

Next on my Friday agenda was attending the SOB dance competition at Queen Victoria Bar. I arrived early to secure a good seat for Swan and me. I was a little surprised that beers were 120 pesos at QV, among the highest in town. When the show started at six and drinks were free, they wouldn’t serve Swan wine, saying it wasn’t a “local drink.” No problem, we just won’t attend a QV SOB in the future. Other than that, it was pretty much the same as always. I was a judge again, and my top four choices were all called up on stage at the conclusion of the competition. The other judges disagreed with my rankings, however.

At the conclusion of the event, I was more than ready to head home, and that is just what we did.

Facebook had a surprise for me this morning:

What’s the fuss all about?

I submitted an appeal as a matter of principle, but I don’t expect favorable consideration. Here it is:

Facebook deleted my photo and restricted my access, claiming I violated community standards based on a display of nudity. The picture was taken in the Philippines, where I reside. It was taken during our weekly “candy walk” when my girlfriend gave treats to the poor children in a nearby community. I was frankly shocked to be notified of my alleged violation because I hadn’t seen any “nudity” when I took the photo. These are very young children, and it was a hot and rainy day. Guess what? In the Philippines, kids of both genders don’t routinely wear shirts when playing outdoors. If you saw mothers hand washing clothes in a bucket, you’d perhaps understand why wearing tops on a hot and wet day is not a normal practice. Again, the kids in question were outdoors playing when we walked by and gathered around my girlfriend when she offered them some treats. It’s a sad day when an act of charity like this gets you suspended on Facebook. I also think it disrespects the cultural norms of the Philippines. Not everyone lives in a rich country. Poor children can be happy children. Why anyone on Facebook would see these young people and think of nudity is pretty disgusting. Yes, a couple of girls are without tops, but they are not exposing breasts because they don’t have any. I think the decision to punish me reflects poorly on Facebook.

I appreciate your consideration of my appeal.

I can still access my Facebook memories. Here’s one from eleven years ago.

Today’s YouTube video has a vlogger listing his top five choices of places in the Philippines to retire. As I say, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I’ve been to four of the five he cites, and they all get a big “no, thank you!” from me. Manila? Seriously? What a shithole. The first time I visited Cebu, I liked it, but a few years later, it was a mess just like Manila. Davao and Baguio have some pluses, but both are isolated and have Nazi-like mayors (I’m glad I wasn’t in either place during the scamdemic). Nope, I made the right choice for me when I picked Olongapo. No regrets.

How about some humor?

That’s all I have for today. I’m scheduled to travel to Angeles City on Monday morning for additional heart scans. It will be good to know the way ahead.

The big happening for me yesterday was a visit to the cardiologist, Dr. Lacanin. I spent nearly an hour in her company as she took my history, reviewed my meds, and inquired about my symptoms and heart-related issues. We also discussed the echocardiogram results, the implications associated with aortic valve stenosis, and the way forward from here.

The bottom line is that what ails me is pretty common in old fuckers like myself and will likely continue to get worse as I age. The most disconcerting moment during the appointment was when she started diagraming my problem and then listed various symptoms numerically.

So, once Dr. Lacanin had the symptoms listed numerically, she explained that patients demonstrating the issues in #3 had a life expectancy of three years, those with the #2 symptoms averaged two years of life, and anyone suffering the #1 listings could expect to die in a year. “So, you are telling me I’ve got at most three years to live?” I exclaimed. No, she assured me that wasn’t the case if I took steps now to control my condition to keep it from getting worse. She talked about surgical options for correction I could pursue if that becomes necessary. Hopefully, it doesn’t come to that.

Dr. Lacanin is not convinced that the ECG result showing mild to moderate aortic synopsis is accurate. She also wants additional data on the aortic blockage (it was 20% back then) I was diagnosed with ten years ago. She suggested I get these tests done at a hospital that specializes in heart health care. She mentioned one in Manila, but when she saw my reaction to traveling that far to a city I despise, she offered a closer alternative in Angeles City. I can go for that. Next up is scheduling the stress test, which Dr. Lacanin will set up.

The other thing we discussed was my heart rate. I guess my low resting heart rate truly is something to be proud of. I told her the bpm really goes up quickly when I hike, with 100 on a flat walk being the average and rising from there when I hit a hill. I asked Dr. Lacanin what my maximum rate should be, and she suggested around 140, but the 120-130 range was best. Good to know. I watched my heart rate throughout this morning’s hike, which included a lengthy climb.

And that’s where things stand with me and my broken heart.

I came home after my doctor’s appointment and stayed here. It seemed like the right time to spend time at The Rite Spot. It had been sunny all day, but then, shortly before I was planning to head for the roof, a rainstorm came out of nowhere.

I had my cooler of beer with me. Then I set up the music speaker (my country music playlist), turned on the fan, and settled into my rocking chair to watch the remains of the day.

I didn’t spend all my time at The Rite Spot alone. Swan had family members visiting, so everyone convened on the roof for dinner.

And I ended the day feeling good to be alive.

And then there are the memories:

Gotta keep pounding on those drums with the future of the USA to be decided in six weeks.

Today’s YouTube video from Reekay tells the story of importing a bargirl from Angeles City. It brought back some memories of my days as a tourist and feeling sorry for the girls. I sponsored one to attend caregiver training. She completed the program, quit the bars, married an Australian, and lived happily ever after. The poor sap in this video got snookered by an eighteen-year-old. Get a grip, guys.

Things I found funny on the internet:

I’m going to do the SOB thing at Queen Victoria this evening. I’ll tell you about that and today’s hike tomorrow. Thanks for coming by!

It's like I'm sitting at a bus stop waiting for a train
Exactly how I got here is hard to explain
My heart's in the right place, what's left of it I guess
My heart ain't the problem, it's my mind that's a total mess
With these rickety old legs and watery eyes
It's hard to believe that I could pass for anybody's prize
Here's what I know about the gifts that God gave
You can't take 'em with you when you go to the grave

It ain't over yet, ask someone who ought to know
Not so very long ago we were both hung out to dry
It ain't over yet, you can mark my word
I don't care what you think you heard, we're still learning how to fly
It ain't over yet

For fools like me who were built for the chase
Takes the right kind of woman to help you put it all in place
It only happened once in my life, but man you should have seen
Her hair two shades of foxtail red, her eyes some far out sea blue green
I got caught up making a name for myself, you know what that's about
One day your ship comes rolling in and the next day it rolls right back out
You can't take for granted none of this shit
The higher up you fly boys, the harder you get hit

It ain't over yet, I'll say this about that
You can get up off the mat or you can lay there till you die
It ain't over yet, here's the truth my friend
You can't pack it in and we both know why
It ain't over yet

Silly boys blind to get there first
Think of second chances as some kind of curse
I've known you forever and ever it's true
If you came by it easy, you wouldn't be you
Make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me forget myself

Back when down on my luck kept me up for days
You were there with the right word to help me crawl out of the maze
And when I almost convinced myself I was hipper than thou
You stepped up with a warning shot fired sweet and low across the bow
No you don't walk on water and your sarcasm stings
But the way you move through this old world sure makes a case for angel wings
I was halfway to the bottom when you threw me that line
I quote you now verbatim, "Get your head out of your own behind"

It ain't over yet, what you wanna bet
One more cigarette ain't gonna send you to the grave
It ain't over yet, I've seen your new girlfriend
Thinks you're the living end, great big old sparkle in her eye
It ain't over yet