Just play me some mountain music

Jee Yeun hasn’t been feeling well since undergoing all those medical tests Wednesday.  She’s been complaining about back pain and seems more tired than usual.  Not saying there is any relationship to the physical exam, just stating the facts.  I gave her a back massage this morning which helped as long as it lasted.  Later she announced she needed to exercise which is her parlance for “let’s go to Bukhansan”.  And so we did.

The cherry blossoms are already mostly gone at our apartment building but they are still going strong on the mountain...

The cherry blossoms are already mostly gone at our apartment building but they are still going strong on the mountain…

and the gaenalee was also still in full flower...

and the gaenalee was also still in full flower…

...as was the magnolia tree.

…as was the magnolia tree.

We took our usual path...

We took our usual path…

...that led us up to...

…that led us up to…

...our mountaintop oasis where Jee Yeun did her hula hoop routine...

…our mountaintop oasis where Jee Yeun did her hula hoop routine…

...and filled up the water bottles with fresh spring water (at least I hope it's fresh!)

…and filled up the water bottles with fresh spring water (at least I hope it’s fresh!)

Back down at the bottom we end our hike in the traditional manner--with a blow job!

Back down at the bottom we end our hike in the traditional manner–with a blow job!

 

 

Captured by aliens…

soonchanhwang

…and subjected to all sorts of bizarre tests and invasions of various bodily orifices while they carried on in a native tongue I could only pretend to understand.  At least that is how it felt.

Yes, today was the day that Jee Yeun and I did our bi-annual comprehensive physical examinations.  Eyes, ears, blood, EKG, BMI, bone density, chest x-ray, sonogram, prostrate probe, MRI of the vital organs, endoscopy and colonoscopy.  Fortunately, I slept through the last two.  The prostrate check was done with a device that looked like a giant dildo and it felt bigger than it appeared.  Ah well, she didn’t even give me flowers afterwards.

I’ll get the results directly from my hilarious Korean doctor on April 24.  Apparently they took something from my stomach to biopsy.  And I’m hoping to learn if this almost constant chest pain is something to be concerned about.  It’s not heart pain, it’s just a generalized soreness.  I can feel it when I take a deep breath, roll over in bed, and sneezing is excruciating.  I’m assuming it just goes with being old (because my whole body seems to ache most of the time).  We’ll see.

They gave me this really cool bracelet as a parting gift!  And that's not all!

They gave me this really cool bracelet as a parting gift! And that’s not all!

Anyway, I’m a pretty big fan the Korean health care system, unlike some folks I know.  Especially their preventative programs like this one.  We got a “his and her” discount, so both of our physicals wound up costing a total or just over W2,000,000 ($2000.00).  My brother who worked in the industry stateside says most of those tests would cost more individually than my entire total back home.  I expect Blue Cross will reimburse about 75% of that which is *ahem* pretty healthy.

In another nice touch Soonchunhwang Hospital gives you coupons for a free lunchee at the nearby porridge house!  This was especially welcome for me as I was approaching 24 hours on my mandated fast.

soonchanhwang2

porridge 003

A nice hot bowl of juk!  Truth be told, I find it rather bland.  But when I'm starving...

A nice hot bowl of juk! Truth be told, I find it rather bland. But when I’m starving…

...I find it extraordinarily delicious!

…I find it extraordinarily delicious!

So, that was our day.  Here’s to good health!

Go tell it on the mountain!

A busy time here notwithstanding the morning calm.

Saturday marked the one year anniversary of my marriage to the lovely Jee Yeun Lee.  We celebrated with a dinner in Myeong-dong and then a dart tourney at B&B in Itaewon.  I guess that's our tradition.  After the wedding ceremony in Las Vegas last year I had to hurry down for the New World Dart Series pro tourney coincidentally also bein held in LV that day....

Saturday marked the one year anniversary of my marriage to the lovely Jee Yeun Lee. We celebrated with a dinner in Myeong-dong and then a dart tourney at B&B in Itaewon. I guess that’s our tradition. After the wedding ceremony in Las Vegas last year I had to hurry down for the New World Dart Series pro tourney coincidentally also being held in LV that day….

I've also founded a dart league--The Seoul Sunday Singles League--which began play this past Sunday...

I’ve also founded a dart league–The Seoul Sunday Singles League–which began play this past Sunday.  24 players competing in 3 divisions.  Gonna be a lot of work but I also expect it will be lots of fun.

My nephew Justin took us out for a belated anniversary supper.  He's a special young man who has made great strides in mastering the Korean language.  I do admit I was envious as he engaged my Korean friends in what appeared to be fascinating conversation.  He's a little confused politically however.  Here I am explaining the "facts of life" about our corrupt political class.  The poor lad has been indoctrinated into the liberal mindset.  But he is smart enough to concede some points regarding gov't excesses and failures so I don't consider him a lost cause--yet.

My nephew Justin took us out for a belated anniversary supper. He’s a special young man who has made great strides in mastering the Korean language. I do admit I was envious as he engaged my Korean friends in what appeared to be fascinating conversation. He’s a little confused politically however. Here I am explaining the “facts of life” about our corrupt political class. The poor lad has been indoctrinated into the liberal mindset. But he is smart enough to concede some points regarding gov’t excesses and failures so I don’t consider him a lost cause–yet.

And of course Jee Yeun dragged me up on the mountain yet again.  This time I let her go her familiar way and thereby avoided getting lost again...

And of course Jee Yeun dragged me up on the mountain yet again. This time I let her go her familiar way and thereby avoided getting lost again…

 

Bright and early in the morning Jee Yeun and I will be doing full physicals at Soonchunhwang hospital.  Mine includes a colonoscopy so tonight I'm "enjoying" large quantities of picolight and water.  I'll be flushing out my innards all night long and be clean as a whistle come morning.  At least that is the plan.

Bright and early in the morning Jee Yeun and I will be doing full physicals at Soonchunhwang hospital. Mine includes a colonoscopy so tonight I’m “enjoying” large quantities of picolight and water. I’ll be flushing out my innards all night long and be clean as a whistle come morning. At least that is the plan.

Oh, and I’ve got my Netflix account working here in Korea.  I’ve been re-enjoying Mad Men and House, M.D. of late.  And that’s about it for this update.

 

 

The Gu stuff

Friday we ventured out to the Jongro-gu office to register our marriage, a necessary prerequisite to my applying for an F-6 permanent residency visa here in Korea.

I guess no matter where you are you gotta admire the government bureaucracy and the nifty little traps they devise to ensnare you.  In this case it was the matter of our having failed to register our marriage within six months as is apparently required by some ministerial fiat or another.  Jee Yeun complained that we had been out of the country since the date of our marriage in the USA.  The bureaucrat was unmoved stating we should have registered at the Korean Embassy or consular office.  The nearest of those two is in Atlanta, a goodly 4+ hours from where we reside.  Oh well, I suppose the W50,000 fine was cheaper than the gas it would have cost us to be compliant with ROK law.

So I reckon in a week I should be registered with the Korean government as the spouse of one of their fair citizens.  And then we can begin the adventure of dealing with the Korean Immigration Service.  I’m sure that will supply more fodder for blogging.  Stay tuned!

 

 

 

Hey kid, how’d you like a nice Hertz donut?

*smack* Hurts, don’t it?

As painful as that joke might be it is nothing compared to what has been going on in my mouth these past few days.  I had a tooth start bothering me a couple of weeks ago so I went to visit the dentist.  S/He advised that the tooth I was complaining about had previously been subjected to a root canal so I shouldn’t be experiencing any problems there.  S/He speculated it was probably just a bit of an infection and prescribed antibiotics.  And also filled three cavities.

So this Tuesday the tooth with no nerve began hurting like a motherfucker.  I could knock the pain down for a couple of hours at a time by taking heavy doses of Advil and/or Tylenol.  I even used some of Jee Yeun’s prescription pain pills left over from her shoulder surgery but they didn’t help much either.  After a mostly sleepless night, I went back in to see .  S/He once again diagnosed an abscess below the tooth, did a little leveling off of said tooth to even my bite, and prescribed more antibiotics.

Wednesday night was also mostly sleepless and pain-wracked and Jee Yeun, bless her heart, got sick of hearing my whinging hated to see me suffer so she insisted I visit the dental clinic down the street.  When we hit the street at 10:00 a.m. it looked like a scene from a disaster movie.  Throngs of people pushing and shoving to get into a massive line of jam packed buses.  Never seen anything like that so I immediately figured something must be up with the subway.  It was.  Fortunately, we were walking to the dentist so we were able to observe the madhouse without actually participating in it.

Jee Yeun told me this dentist is very famous and related to the family in some distant way and that people come for all over the country for his services.  She stressed we had to get there early to get on the list of walk-ins.  When we arrived there were 3 folks ahead of us, which didn’t seem too bad.  And then the receptionist came out and apologetically announced that the doctor would not be in until 3:00 p.m.  Apparently he was doing some charity work that morning which is admirable, although it did not reduce the ache in my tooth in the slightest.

Back to the apartment for more aspirin and the brief interludes of comfort it provided.  I had also been applying heat in the form of a damp towel microwaved to a level of warmth right below that used for skin removal.  I don’t know if it helped, but it didn’t hurt.  Jee Yeun insisted I should be applying cold to the tooth.  I explained that Dr.  had specifically advised me to apply heat and s/he said that people who used cold were doing it wrong.  Armed with info she found on the internet Jee Yeun called the dentist’s office to say that heat wasn’t working.  Shortly thereafter Dr.  called my phone and asked how I was doing.  “I’ve been better” I truthfully responded.  S/He suggested I return to her office the following afternoon and she would remove my crown to try and relieve “pressure”.  By this point I was ready to tell her to just yank the damn thing out altogether and be done with it.

Meanwhile I’d gotten a text asking me to sub on a team in the Thursday night dart league.  I was inclined at first to decline given my condition but then I figured if I was going to suffer regardless I may as well suffer doing something I enjoy.  The pain was in an aspirin induced remission when I got on the subway, but by the team we reached Samgakji station the tooth was screaming again.  So I ate some Advil dry and continued on to the Bull and Barrel.  The dentist had advised me not not drink while taking the antibiotics and I had pushed back a little asking “why?”  S/he gave me some bullshit about making the body weaker so as not to be able to fight the infection.  So, I hadn’t been drinking and I ordered up a diet Coke at the bar but for the record it was only because I didn’t feel like drinking not some whacky doctor’s orders.

By the time I had finished my second Coke the pain had again subsided and the dart match was ready to begin.  I prefer to play darts while maintaining a finely tuned chemical balance that provides a maximum level of confidence and relaxation. Achieving this state of mind normally requires the consumption of beer, so I ordered up a Cass.  It tasted good and went down smooth so I had another.  And another.

Now, it could be that the antibiotics finally kicked in and killed that nasty infection.  Or it could be Cass beer contains some unadvertised healing powers.  All I know is that I slept through the night for the first time in days.  I awoke pain free and have been pain free ever since.

Which leads me to the point I wanted to make when I sat down to write this overly-long post.  Pain sucks.  I have zero tolerance for pain. That pain can even be allowed to exist in the 21st century strikes me as being particularly inhumane.  Pain I think is very subjective and very personal.  No one else can feel your pain nor can you feel theirs.  So, how does one truly measure pain.  When someone says “I have a high tolerance for pain” I don’t think they are in any way stronger than me, I just figure their pain is not as severe.

See, as I wrote about this experience with pain I knew some reader somewhere would be thinking “what a fuckin’ pussy.  He ‘gets a damn toothache and makes a big deal about it.  Why doesn’t he just man up and handle it in silence?”

Fuck that.  That tooth hurt so bad I literally could not sit still.  Moving around didn’t help either, but Jesus, I couldn’t just sit there and take it.  So maybe that does make me a wuss.  I’ll tell you this though, I certainly appreciated that scene in Castaway where Tom Hanks removes his tooth with an ice skate.  You reach a point where you just can’t stand it anymore.  I guess my pain intolerance does not bode well for my future.  I will not be one of those brave souls who withstand immense pain while battling cancer.  Just put a pillow over my face and let me be done with it.  Please.

Getting high in Korea

Yesterday I got high and then I got lost.  Sort of.

It all started innocently enough.  I was enjoying my morning coffee when Jee Yeun exclaimed “let’s go to the mountain!”  By mountain she was of course referring to her favorite place to hike–Bukhansan National Park.  I wasn’t exactly feeling it, but Jee Yeun had indulged me several hours of darts on Sunday so I figured it was wise to pretend to be enthusiastic.  So off we went.

It was about 10:00 a.m. when we reached our bus stop and the place was crawling with college-age kids.  The first bus to arrive was packed tighter than a can of sardines and I said “bullshit on this, you wanted to exercise, let’s walk!”  Which we did, at least as far as the next bus stop.  Jee Yeun had reminded me just how long the walk would be so I agreed to wait and see whether the next bus was filled beyond reasonable capacity.  It was.  But after consulting the bus schedule Jee said all of these are going to the university (she didn’t say which one).  She assured me that the bus we needed (the 110B) would not be crowded.  And she was 100% correct!  Just a few old folks dressed for a morning mountain hike.  I sadly noted to myself just how much I fit in with these elderly types.

Anyway, we arrived at our destination and began our climb.  This time I insisted we take a new path, as I was tired of the same one Jee Yeun preferred on each of our previous several visits.  I soon regretted not bringing along my camera.  The trees were in early flowering mode and there were several new and interesting vistas along the way.  And this trail took us straight to the top!  It’s the highest I’ve been in Korea (not counting my driving over Seroksan).

It was a tough climb and actually a little scary in places.  The footing was often difficult and in one place they had even secured ropes as a hand hold to assist in the prevention of plunging to serious injury or death at the bottom of the cliff.  It wasn’t the fall I was worried about, it was the sudden stop!  I was glad for my walking stick and the thought occurred that I ought to invest in some actual hiking boots.

After traversing the crest line trail for the better part of an hour, we began looking for a way back down to the place where we had started from.  Which as it turns out was on the other side of the mountain.  Not being one to back track (and not wanting to rely on ropes again to stay on the path) I decreed we’d take the first likely trail to down to wherever it led and taxi home from there if necessary.  That didn’t really go exactly as planned.

After a good long generally downward hike we did find an exit from the national park.  Which put us smack dab in the middle of an upscale residential area.  Well, upscale doesn’t do it justice.  These houses, or more aptly, mansions, were pert near the largest most opulent homes I’ve seen anywhere–including Beverly Hills.  Pyungchang-dong I guess neighborhood is called.  Again, I wish I’d had my camera!  We followed a meandering street for a good bit seeing nothing that looked like the Korea I know.  We eventually encountered some folk out for a walk and Jee Yeun asked where we might catch a bus.  Now, I’m language challenged, but I can read expressions.  And these were saying they’d never considered such a question.  They vaguely pointed down the road and off we walked.  And walked.  And walked.  Damn, who knew there were so many incredibly rich people in one place.

I finally spied some high rise apartments in the distance so we made for them.  It took awhile though because the road was neither straight nor narrow.  Eventually a cab stopped for us (I guess we were a bit of spectacle with our shabby attire and  walking sticks).  And so we finally made it back to the familiar environs of Gireum-dong in time for me to rest up for dart league.

And I was high again after turning in an 11-1 performance (regular readers may recall I went 1-8 the week before).  And I drank a lot of beer as well.

An adventure filled day to be sure!

 

Thousands of comedians out of work…

…and she’s trying to be funny!

The daughter-in-law has graciously agreed to periodically bring in the mail (and mow the lawn!*) while I’m on this side of the world.  So today I get a message from her saying an important piece of mail has arrived and asking whether I want her to send it to me via overnight mail.  She helpfully included this photograph:

conservatives

Haha!  I’ve been getting spam mail from the RNC (and everyone they subsequently sold my address to) ever since I sent that $100 check to Mitt Romney.   Bastards.

In other news, I had the good fortune to bring home 1st place money in last night’s dart tournament at Bull Barrel.

B&B 001

Drawing the top ranked player in Itaewon as my partner certainly improved my chances!  I also managed a second place finish at Dolce Vita Friday night so it’s been a profitable weekend.  Well, by profitable I mean I made almost enough to cover my bar tabs.

After darts it was time for some Korean-style dining.  I define Korean-style as eating lots of tasty food and washing it down with copious amounts of beer and soju.

Friends and family gathered around the table in anticipation of...

Friends and family gathered around the table in anticipation of…

...the best dang samgyapsal I've found in Korea

…the best dang samgyapsal I’ve found in Korea

B&B 009

It was a good night!

*She claims to want to mow my lawn.  Says she likes using a mower but my son won’t let her mow HIS lawn.  I’m glad to provide her the opportunity!

Save the date!

Heh, is there any greater honor for a dart player than to have a tournament held in his name?  Especially when he’s still alive!  Well, actually a greater honor would be to win a national championship on the big stage televised live on ESPN.  But I know this event is gonna happen on Saturday night in Itaewon and I’m pleased to be a part of it.

Truth be told, I was severely disappointed that Bull and Barrel had stopped doing Saturday tourneys.  I met with the owner Wednesday and asked him to schedule one and I'd help promote it.  This isn't exactly what I had in mind, but...

Truth be told, I was severely disappointed that Bull and Barrel had stopped doing Saturday tourneys. I met with the owner Wednesday and asked him to schedule one and I’d help promote it. This isn’t exactly what I had in mind, but…

Another day, another mountain…

Yes, it was a return trip to Jee Yeun's favorite mountain, Bukhansan...

Yes, it was a return trip to Jee Yeun’s favorite mountain, Bukhansan…

A river runs through it.  Sort of.

A river runs through it. Sort of.

Last year when we reached this spot about halfway up the mountain I was gasping for breath and near collapse.  This time I had enough energy to actually do some arm raises.  That's Jee Yeun's mom showing off doing inclined situps.

Last year when we reached this spot about halfway up the mountain I was gasping for breath and near collapse. This time I had enough energy to actually do some arm raises. That’s Jee Yeun’s mom showing off doing inclined situps.

Jangbae, the potential future son-in-law joined us on the hike...

Jangbae, the potential future son-in-law joined us on the hike…

Jee Yeun loves to hula hoop.  The park conveniently keeps some laying about for like minded individuals.

Jee Yeun loves to hula hoop. The park conveniently keeps some laying about for like minded individuals.  You can see one hanging in that tree behind her in fact…

So, I try and do a selfie and I get photobombed by Jee Yeun AND her mother.  Geez.  Oh well, I forgot to make a duck face anyway....

So, I try and do a selfie and I get photobombed by Jee Yeun AND her mother. Geez. Oh well, I forgot to make a duck face anyway….

This time I made it all the way to the end of the trail and was rewarded with a nice cold drink of fresh spring water.  Really, not carrying that extra 50 pounds with me made a hell of a difference.  Probably didn't hurt that I'm not smoking these days either...

This time I made it all the way to the end of the trail and was rewarded with a nice cold drink of fresh spring water. Really, not carrying that extra 50 pounds with me made a hell of a difference. Probably didn’t hurt that I’m not smoking these days either…

Of course, I was aided by my brand spanking new walking stick.  Technically speaking.

Of course, I was aided by my brand spanking new walking stick. Technically speaking.

It's often amazing what you can observe naturally occurring in nature.  Take this ancient tree trunk for example.  If you look at it just right it appears to contain some form of ancient writing...

It’s often amazing what you can observe naturally occurring in nature. Take this ancient tree trunk for example. If you look at it just right it appears to contain some form of ancient writing…

...And this naturally occurring rock formation was fascinating as well...

…And this naturally occurring rock formation was fascinating as well…

Anyway, we had a nice day in the park.  Only a 10 minute bus ride from the house which is nice as well.

 

 

Climb every mountain

Alright, maybe not every mountain.  But we did climb the one across the street from our apartment.  Let’s tell the tale through pictures and save those thousand words for another day.

Our uphill journey begins on this narrow but steep residential street...

Our uphill journey begins on this narrow but steep residential street…

the street ended, but not our climb as these wooden stairs (and Jee Yeun) beckoned me onward and upward...

the street ended, but not our climb as these wooden stairs (and Jee Yeun) beckoned me onward and upward…

...looking back from whence I came.   the steps were many and my heart was pounding in anticipation.  Or something.

…looking back from whence I came.
The steps were many and my heart was pounding in anticipation. Or something.

A portion of our path...

A portion of our path…

A resting place along the way...

A resting place along the way…

At the summit I declare "thar be our apartment building".  We've come a long way baby!

At the summit I declare “thar be our apartment building”. We’ve come a long way baby!

 

I must say that I'm always impressed with how much thought and effort the Koreans put into these urban oasis'.  Jee Yeun reclines on a comfortable bench.  All she needs now is something good to read...

I must say that I’m always impressed with how much thought and effort the Koreans put into these urban oasis’. Jee Yeun reclines on a comfortable bench. All she needs now is something good to read…

...and I'll be damned if they didn't think of that too!  Seriously, this is something I've never seen before.  I don't expect those books would last a day in the states though...

…and I’ll be damned if they didn’t think of that too! Seriously, this is something I’ve never seen before. I don’t expect those books would last a day in the states though…

 

Another view of the city from our perch on high...

Another view of the city from our perch on high…

Jee Yeun works out at one of the several exercise spots set up along the trail...

Jee Yeun works out at one of the several exercise spots set up along the trail…

 

I'm fairly certain that this sign says something along the lines of "beware of evil pine trees and their scented cones that will mesmerize your children in Pied Piper fashion".  Or maybe it doesn't.

I’m fairly certain that this sign says something along the lines of “beware of evil pine trees and their scented cones that will mesmerize your children in Pied Piper fashion”. Or maybe it doesn’t.

At yet another exercise way station I can't resist climbing aboard this contraption.  It was actually kind of fun...

At yet another exercise way station I can’t resist climbing aboard this contraption. It was actually kind of fun…

We decided to take a different path down to see what we might see...

We decided to take a different path down to see what we might see…

And lo and behold we came across this little Buddhist temple...

And lo and behold we came across this little Buddhist temple…

 

Heading back to our high rise apartment I told Jee Yeun I'd like to live in a house like this.  She just gave me that look I've come to understand as meaning "you don't have a clue, do you?"

Heading back to our high rise apartment I told Jee Yeun I’d like to live in a house like this. She just gave me that look I’ve come to understand as meaning “you don’t have a clue, do you?”

And finally, if you've ever wanted to see a Korean elementary school, now you have.

And finally, if you’ve ever wanted to see a Korean elementary school, now you have.

It was a good day and a nice hike.

 

 

 

 

A smooth move blends disaster

Yesterday afternoon I got a little bored.  I was thinking I ought to climb up on the treadmill but the bunch of bananas on the counter turning black proved to be an insurmountable distraction.  And thus was set in motion a chain of events that would inevitably result in making quite a mess of things at our humble abode in Gireum-dong.

As these events tend to do, it all started innocently enough.  The weather outside was overcast, but pleasant.  And so I suggested to my yobo that we take a walk.  “Where to?” she asked.  Remembering the rotting bananas and hating to see them go to waste I suggested we hike out to the E-Mart and take a look at some blenders.  Jee Yeun agreed and we were soon enough out the door and on our way.

I set a brisk pace as the point of this expedition was as much about the exercise as it was about the blender.  Walking the sidewalks of Seoul is always perilous as the locals seem to lack any semblance of situational awareness relative to their fellow pedestrians.   Walking fast requires the cat-like reflexes of an experienced Frogger player.  Which I   most assuredly am not.  Nevertheless we made quick progress towards our destination suffering only occasional bouts of frustration and silently uttered curses.

As we were passing the humongous Hyundai Department Store, Jee Yeun tugged my arm and said “let’s check the prices here and compare them to E-Mart”.  Finding no flaw in her logic, I agreed that this was a fine plan.

It's even bigger than it looks on the inside.

It’s even bigger than it looks on the inside.

Now, housewares and appliances were located somewhat inconveniently on the 7th Floor.  Which meant several escalator rides.  I at first attempted to walk up the moving steps since I was still in exercise mode but I sensed by the 3rd floor that the locals found my antics in poor taste.  It’s a pretty ritzy store.  Eventually reaching our destination we looked at several blenders on display ranging in price from about W50,000 to W150,000.  Now, when I make a smoothie I like horsepower and the Tefal model with 500 watts for W80,000 seemed like it should do the trick.

I had sensed that Jee Yeun was not as enthusiastic about walking the rest of the way to E-Mart so I asked her “do you just want to get this one?”  She readily agreed and summoned over the sales clerk who had been standing unobtrusively nearby.  On my list of things I like about Korea is the fact that you can always find someone to assist you in the department stores.  If anything, they are over staffed.  Of course, I also like low prices and you certainly don’t find great bargains at a place like Hyundai.  That’s the classic trade-off I suppose.

The aforementioned clerk went to the back room to fetch our blender and returned several minutes later with the sad news that our choice was out of stock.  Jee Yeun then asked if we could buy the display model and even got it at a 20% discount!  Of course, all of this was occurring in the mysterious Korean language of which I was only discerning bits and fragments.  Yeah, that’s just the way I roll.  But when they started wrapping up the display model I was pretty confident I knew what was happening.

Of course the downside to buying a display model is you don’t get the box or operating instructions.  But hell, I’d just throw away (well, recycle)  the box and I do know my way around a blender, so no hay problema, right?  (my Spanish is slightly better than my Korean).

We made our way downstairs with our purchase and I mentioned that I’d need to stop by the market on the walk home as I required some ice cream and celery.  No, I don’t put celery in my smoothies.  I just needed some.  It’s sort of my standard snack food these days.  And yes, I put some peanut butter on my celery.  Sue me.  Korean ice cream tends to be expensive and not rich and delicious like my favorite American brands.  Still, you make do with what you have.  That’s part of the expat experience after all.

We reached our small buy cozy apartment without further incident.  Well, there was one crazy homeless guy, the sidewalks were choked with smokers (I know, I know, but I just never realized how irritating that can be until I quit).  But soon enough we were home.  And this is what our lovely blender looks like:

Ain't she sweet?

Ain’t she sweet?

So, Jee Yeun’s son Junesok came by and he insisted on providing food for the family as our welcome back gift.  And so we all ate some very good take out.  When dinner was done I asked (and Jee Yeun translated) if everyone was up for a smoothie?  They were.

So, I took the glass carafe and filled it to the brim with my favorite ingredients (a few ice cubes, bananas, strawberries, a dollop of peanut butter, a couple of scoops of ice cream, and some milk).  Now, our place is small and the nearest electrical outlet was in the living room, so that’s where the blending took place.

Back in the states I use an Oster blender.  It’s pretty straightforward, you put the stuff in, turn it on, and things get liquid.  This Tefal model (a U.K. brand) was unfamiliar to me, but the principle was the same.  I mean, how hard can it be?

This hard.  Apparently there is a locking mechanism at the bottom of the carafe.  Who knew?

This hard. Apparently there is a locking mechanism at the bottom of the carafe. Who knew?

And that is how my smoothie intentions resulted in a blender disaster.  Ah well.

 

 

 

 

Filling in holes

Yesterday I discovered that I do in fact have a hole in my head.  Three of them in the form of cavities.  Well, two now because one was filled yesterday, the remainder are scheduled for elimination next week.  Went to a new dentist on the recommendation of a friend and was not unsatisfied with her performance.  She’s U.S. trained and licensed and does speak English which is helpful.

OK, well here’s the thing.  She looks like a woman but talks like a man.  I picked up a transgender vibe, but I honestly don’t care one way or the other.  All I know for certain is she will be drilling me in my mouth come Wednesday and I’m okay with that.

After my appointment, Jee Yeun and I walked from Ichon station into Itaewon which was a pleasant enough hike.  I wanted to drop into Bull and Barrel to talk to the owner about some darting ideas I’ve been stewing on.  Alas, it was 5:00 p.m. and they were not as yet open for business.  Then went to the other side of the dong *ahem* to check out a new darts place called Ghost Bar that had opened after I left last year.  Sadly, it seems to have given up the ghost permanently as it was closed up tighter than a coffin.  So we meandered over to the Scrooge Pub which during my absence moved from the Hamilton Hotel alley to a new location on the main drag (coincidentally right next door to my regular haunt Dolce Vita).  It was wing night at Scrooge so we had a plate of 10 for W5000.  I ran into a guy I met the other day at Dillinger’s and we had us a round of dart games.

Then we moved next door to Dolce Vita where I hoped to do a little catching up with the owner but he never showed.  So, I practiced my darts for an hour or so and called it a night.  Well, almost a night.  On the walk back to the subway station we stopped to pick up some street food:  dakkochi, or as I call it, chicken on a stick.  Which is after all what it is.  Yum!

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And that filled the hole in my belly quite nicely.

The way things are…

…thus far.

Still not acclimated to the time reversal if waking up at 0500 this morning is any indication.  No worries, I’ll get adjusted.  It’s not like I have to get up and go to work or anything.

Our luggage finally made it in from Detroit late last night.  It’s good to have my darts back.

On Friday night I played with borrowed darts and managed a second place finish.  The amazing thing about that is I was quite a bit drunker than I tend to get.  I’m not really clear on why, maybe the alcohol content of Cass is higher than the light-ass beer I normally drink.  I know it has lots more calories.  Of course, in the USA I am always cognizant of the impending drive home so I tend to monitor my consumption pretty closely.  I honestly don’t know how much I drank Friday, but it was enough to leave me hungover.  Which is really not my style.

I stayed close to home on Saturday.  Wasn’t feeling up for the St. Paddy’s day crowds in Itaewon.  Did spend over W200,000 on groceries at the D.C market.  So, doing the low-carb thing is a tad more difficult but I’m making the effort to stick as close to the plan as I am able.  For example, I didn’t buy cereal, bread or sweet goodies like I used to do.  I’m also resolved to take the stairs in the subway stations to incorporate a little extra exercise into my daily routine.  Man oh man, the stairs coming out of Itaewon station are a bitch!

What else?  I was disappointed that my smart phone could not be unlocked.  For now I am stuck with my ancient phone that has no bells and/or whistles.  It also does not appear to be holding a charge, so I’m going to have to see about a battery I suppose.  If they even still make one that fits my brand of dinosaur.

Meeting an old work friend for lunch this afternoon and then I’ll mosey over to Dillinger’s Bar for some darts practice.  I’ll be playing with a Dillinger’s team for the remainder of the dart league season, so I hope to bring a respectable game with me.  I’ll be back in the thick of the action tomorrow night.

I was frankly amazed at how much different Itaewon seems after my 13 month absence.  Some old familiar buildings have been torn down (Nashville!), some of my old bar hangouts have closed or changed owners, and the number of familiar faces I saw at Dolce Vita was a lot less than I remember.  Well, I reckon after a few months the new faces will look familiar enough.  For now I guess I’ll be the new old guy.

To the pictures!

I have the good fortune to live right on top of the subway station.  It's a 40 minute ride into Itaewon though.  Or a W20,000 cab ride home late at night (as we did Friday, er, Saturday morning).

I have the good fortune to live right on top of the subway station. It’s a 40 minute ride into Itaewon though. Or a W20,000 cab ride home late at night (as we did Friday, er, Saturday morning).

Jee Yeun always gets a vending machine coffee to enjoy on our way into Itaewon.  Bless her heart.

Jee Yeun always gets a vending machine coffee to enjoy on our way into Itaewon. Bless her heart.

Changing our dollars into Won.  1068 was the going rate on Friday, not particularly good but I've seen it a lot lower.

Changing our dollars into Won. 1068 was the going rate on Friday, not particularly good but I’ve seen it a lot lower.

The mean main street of Itaewon...

The mean main street of Itaewon…

My first frosty mug of OB lager in over a year.  Nice-ah!  (I just need to remember to enjoy them in moderation!)

My first frosty mug of OB lager in over a year. Nice-ah! (I just need to remember to enjoy them in moderation!)

A larger than usual turnout for the Friday blind draw at Dolce Vita.

A larger than usual turnout for the Friday blind draw at Dolce Vita.

The highlight of the night was connecting with my old Canadian friend Craig "the Goat".  He left Korea a year or so before I retired, and moved back here last spring.  It was his birthday Friday and as fate would have it we drew up as partners in the tourney.  Now maybe if I'd had my own darts or maybe had I stayed slightly more sober, we'd have done better than second place.  Still, it was a great time!

The highlight of the night was connecting with my old Canadian friend Craig “the Goat”. He left Korea a year or so before I retired, and moved back here last spring. It was his birthday Friday and as fate would have it we drew up as partners in the tourney. Now maybe if I’d had my own darts or maybe had I stayed slightly more sober, we’d have done better than second place. Still, it was a great time!

Like it or not, there will be lots more to come in the continuing saga of my life in Korea!

 

The longest day

Departed my house in South Carolina at 8 Wednesday morning and arrived in Korea at 8 Thursday night.  Here’s how it all went down.

Alarm went off at 0600.  I lazed in bed thinking random thoughts while the coffee brewed. Then one of those random thoughts evolved into a question: had I done the math right when I weighed the suitcases?  Well, of course I had.  But while I showered I couldn’t quite remember just how things had added up, so I did the prudent thing and weighed the suitcases again.  My math had in fact been wrong.   Three of the four bags were overweight.  So, it was back to the fourth carry-on.  And some additional creative shifting between bags.  I’m proud to report that through the aforementioned efforts the only item left behind was a large bottle of baby oil.

Then we drove to the daughter’s house for our lift to the airport in Charlotte.  Arrived 2 1/2 hours before our flight and settled in as comfortably as one might expect to be in an airport.  I actually found a plug-in for the laptop and whiled away the time playing some Civilization.  But in the back of my mind I held a growing sense of foreboding.

See the weather was bad today (yesterday) in Detroit.  And any delay of more than two hours or so in getting to Detroit was bound to wreak havoc with my travel plans.  There was some light rain in Charlotte but nothing to be overly concerned about.  Until I learned that my plane to Detroit was coming from Detroit.  And it arrived an hour late.  But we boarded quick and were ready for departure in about 30 minutes, so I was thinking we’d make the connection.  Until the Captain announced we were being held in Charlotte for 40 minutes while the runways in Detroit were being cleared and such.

Still, I held out some hope that if we actually landed in Detroit before the scheduled departure of our flight to Seoul they might hold up for us to arrive at the gate.  Alas, by the time we reached the gate it was fifteen minutes after the tune our flight to Seoul was supposed to leave.  And sure enough, when I checked the departure board it said our connection had “closed”.  English being her second language and all, Jee Yeun wasn’t taking “closed” for an answer.  We arrived at gate A-7 and the Seoul flight was leaving from A-29.  I reckon that distance to be around 6 city blocks give or take.  But we hoofed as quick as we could being encumbered with 2 carry-on each, and miracles of miracles they flight to Seoul and had not yet departed and we were allowed to board.  And there was even room in the overhead for our bags!

We spent over an hour being de-iced and another 30 minutes waiting to take off after achieving ice-free status.  They kept us in our seats that entire time and I came to regret not using the under seat space for my backpack.  I was stuck in the window seat and had no access to my headphones for the on-demand entertainment and more importantly, no access to my snacks.  I was starving!

We were finally up and on our way for the 13 hour hop to Incheon/Seoul.  I don’t know why but my tailbone was SCREAMING at me the entire flight.  And by screaming I mean excruciating pain every time I moved or shifted in my seat.  When I didn’t move or shift, it was just a dull throb.  I have no idea what’s up with that but unless you like the feeling of being stabbed in the back it made those 13 hours seem even longer than it sounds.

To distract myself from the pain I watched some movies: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Gravity, Nebraska, and some Korean movie I forget the name of.  None were outstanding, but they all kept me entertained, more or less.  I did enjoy Bruce Dern in Nebraska, he reminded me of my father in his final months.

And so we came to land in this land called Korea two hours later than our scheduled arrival of 6:30 p.m.  I zipped through immigration and then waited impatiently at the baggage carousel for my fears to be confirmed–our luggage didn’t make it to Korea with us.  I guess it’s no big deal, they’ll eventually deliver it to the apartment which saves me  rasslin’ 4 fifty pound bags around town.  Except in one of those bags are my darts.  Which are a key component of my plans for Friday night.  Alas.

We took the Airport Limo (bus) and arrived at Gireum-dong at 10:30 p.m.  We were greeted by Jee Yeuns’ mom, sister, daughter, and daughter’s boyfriend along with a nice spread of take out/delivery Korean food, 3 bottles of Soju, and some beer.  Having now consumed all of the above, I’m writing this post.

The family...

The family…

...the food.

…the food.

 

And now I am bringing this long assed day to a close.

 

Korea: Land of the morning “microagressions”?

This article was written by a guy living in Japan, but I’ve witnessed many of the same behaviors in Korea.  My “favorite” is how even on a crowded subway many Koreans don’t want to sit next to the scary waeguk.  Or maybe it’s just because I’m fat.

Having said that, I really believe the writer needs to take a chill pill.  Your experience in Korea, Japan, or anywhere else you might travel (or live) will be enhanced if you learn to just go along and get along.  Why choose to be offended by something that doesn’t really matter? Are these “microagressions” really cultural?  Perhaps, but Lord knows, I’ve seen tourists in the U.S.A. treated pretty rudely.

Back when I was hiring people to work for me in Korea I noted that about 70% of the new hires loved Korea and wanted to stay beyond the initial two year tour of duty.  The others hated living there and couldn’t wait to get out.  And most of their complaints were really about those trivial things that could have just as easily been ignored.  There is so much to love about Korea and Koreans and the rich and unique culture.  You just have to be open to the experience, good and bad.

The only thing that ever caused me to lose my temper in Korea were rude taxi drivers.  But then again, I had issues with the trike drivers in the Philippines, cabbies in NYC, and people in Philadelphia generally.  But the Koreans I got to know and call friends have always been gracious, warm and generous.

Anyway, the article is worth a read.

 

 

On the road to hell…

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…or maybe Itaewon.  Although I suppose it could be argued that one leads to the other.

Speaking of being paved with good intentions, this week’s weigh-in finds me at 251 pounds.  Down one from last week, which is exactly 1/3 of the previous week’s weight gain.  I was a little sinful, having made a (sugar free) banana pudding.  And then proceeded to eat the whole damn thing in one hellacious sitting.  I reasoned that eating it all at once would be no different than enjoying the same amount spread over several days.  That must have been satan talking, because I know better.  So, now I have repented and have refocused on my efforts for a heavenly weight loss.

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I’ve been watching the television series Arrested Development on Netflix and enjoying the hell out of it.  It’s #16 on the list of best written television series.  In the episode that ended season one the family is doing the low carb diet thing which made the jokes especially funny to me.  Anyway, highly recommend this show.

And now I must get on the road to Aiken for a long ass day of darts exercise.  Onward and downward!