and it is time we pull out. NOW!
This is why it is ill-advised to engage in wars of preemption.
Don’t be so surprised. I can admit defeat.
It’s a quagmire…
Reply
Category Archives: Humor
He’s got the fever…
Sweet revenge on a telemarketer…
Actually, I don’t have this problem in Korea since once the telemarketer figures out I don’t speak Korean they hang up on me. But this is just f’n hilarious…
The wrong hole
Well, that’s apparently where my darts are heading these days. A frustrating 22-15 defeat last night, to which I contributed a 5-7 showing. I am very disappointed to see my game regress to the extent it has this season. Nothing to do but to keep on keeping on I suppose.
This kinda cheered me up, maybe you will enjoy it as well.
Best Actor
I really don’t think Obama earned this Oscar. He was totally unconvincing in the role of President. Yes, I know he pulled off the incompetent narcissist with a fair amount of skill, but in this comedy-farce it was simply unbelievable to imagine this empty suit as the leader of the free world.
I guess I shouldn’t complain, the Oscar has also been awarded to fools like Al Gore and Michael Moore, so it lost its meaning and relevance long ago.
Healthcare debate distilled
Commenter Kevin recently posted a video on Facebook in which our friends in Hollywood (you know, those folks who also support child rape) really explained why those of us opposed to Obamacare are ignorant of what the debate is all about. You know, that corporate greed thing. In an effort to be evenhanded I will share it with my faithful LTG readers.
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As they say, every coin has two sides. So, here are some “real” people responding:
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Ok, now we can all choose sides.
Outrage over pre-emptive deployment
What can I say?
U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan” />
Who’s on first?
No, wait. Who’s on the phone.
President Reagan came up in the comments the other day and coincidentally I came across this old Johnny Carson clip mocking Reagan in a good natured way. Funny as hell, but sad to reflect on how low and base political discourse has become in the 21st century.
Ah well. Enjoy.
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Let’s drop the big one
Here’s one solution to our problems…
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Scary stuff…
I’m sure my readers in the USA have “heard” about this already. Only thing I’m hearing on the streets of Seoul are car horns, venders hawking their goods through loudspeakers, and drunk ajushis yelling incoherently at passerby…
Nothing ominous about that.
Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation Into Panic” />
Cash for Codgers and Life’s a Bitch
A couple treats in the comments today.
From Fortuneate:
Democrats, realizing the success of the President’s “Cash For Clunkers”
rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care
Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this
major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have
obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named….
“CASH FOR CODGERS” and it works like this… Couples wishing to access
health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be
required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them
will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription
dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.
Special “Bonuses” will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted
groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their
government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.
Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried
foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel
sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair. You heard it hear first…
And from VJ:
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That explains it!
Keep the President in your thoughts and prayers…
White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase” />
Obviously, this does not apply to me…
….because it must be about you!
But if it was about me, I would be vaguely inclined to respond.
Since it’s not, I suggest YOU read it and weep.
“You’re in Korea damn it, speak English!”
I have several friends who make their living here teaching English to the youth of Korea.
Hope this isn’t an indication of how that’s working out:
Hat Tip: OnMyWaytoKorea
Here we go again!
RealClearPolitics has a post that could have been written by commenter Fortuneate. Except it’s satire.
(since y’all don’t like clicking through my links, here it is in toto):
Don’t be misled. These new posters featuring Barack Obama’s face imposed over the likeness of Tinky Winky may appear benign, but they’re not.
Their intent is far deeper and insidious: to stir ugly racist thoughts in America’s subconscious.
On the surface, the posters don’t add anything new to the discussion. Obama has been called a “socialist” before. But, subliminally, the posters draw heavily on stereotypes of the worst kind.
Consider the following evidence:
– First, the obvious: Purple is only a tick or two away from black on the color spectrum, so it’s clearly no coincidence that Obama’s likeness was imposed over Tinky Winky and not Dipsy, Laa-Laa, Noo-Noo, or Po. Tinky Winky is an unspeakably devious subliminal reminder of the pigmentation of our President’s skin.
– Tinky Winky – and the rest of his Teletubby ilk – are meant to draw upon latent and subconscious racism and xenophobia. They’re odd looking, they speak in incoherent phrases, they eat strange food and live in a futuristic dome. Clearly, they’re not from around here – and they may not even be from this planet. To superimpose Obama’s likeness over such a character is a truly despicable tactic designed to remind white people of his foreign heritage and to reinforce the notion that he is “of the other.”
– Lastly, using Tinky Winky is a cretinously creative way to emasculate the President. Everyone knows Tinky Winky carries a red handbag, for crying out loud. White evangelicals are particularly attuned to subliminal associations with Tinky Winky since Jerry Falwell outed the cartoon character as a symbol of gay pride with his purple (but remember, also almost black) color and his triangular antenna.
This is ugly stuff. By superimposing Obama’s face over the likeness of Tinky Winky this new poster creates a subtly coded, highly effective racial and political argument. Forget socialism, this poster is another attempt to undermine the President by drawing on deep seated stereotypes against blacks, foreigners, and gays. It’s disgusting.
Post-it
Sorry for the dearth of posting. I’ve been a little distracted by the real world these past few days.
I offer this rather creative use of the trusty Post-it note for your consideration.
No comment
Come up with your own caption for this one…
Um, ok then…
I admit, I don’t really get Korean comedy. But I take it this is “very hot”.
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Via: Going Places
Can you give me a blowjob please?
Ahem.
Now, I’m pretty much a beer drinker. On those occasions when a shot is called for (someone rings the bell or otherwise buys a round) I’m faced with a dilemma. Jack Daniels is no friend of mine, and tequila kicks my ass. So, I usually get a shot that is one part Bailey’s and one part Kahlua. A tad sweet, but with a beer chaser not bad. The drink is popularly known as a “blow job”. I don’t know why.
So anyway, given that all men are basically adolescents at heart, when ordering the above referenced shot, I will invariably ask the female bartender to give me a blowjob. Yeah, puns and double entendres are always such a hoot. I know, I know, it’s beyond stupid and borderline (?) offensive.
Still, have you seen the new Burger King ad apparently making the rounds in the USA?
Seven inches? Not much of a meal.
Anyway, I don’t know if this ad vindicates me or implicates me. But the ad doesn’t make me want to rush out to BK to get my mind “blown”.
Oh by the way, we do have BK in Korea, both on the economy and on base. Haven’t seen this ad (or the sandwich) here though.
I am anticipating some interesting Google referrals based on the title of this post. I expect such visitors will be sorely disappointed. I guess they’ll say what many readers say after visiting LTG: “That sucks”.
There, I have closed the loop.
A pun time was had by all
Assuming you like this sort of thing. I do. Sue me.
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.