There is of course an element of danger in any sporting activity.  Darting is no exception.  The game is played with sharp steel pointed projectiles which are sometimes being tossed about by individuals in heightened states of intoxication.  Last night I encountered a rather drunken female opponent who expressed her displeasure with losing in a way I had never quite experienced before:

She disgustedly threw her dart to the floor hitting me in the shoe. Honestly, it was about the only thing she hit all night…(UPDATE: Commenter Kevin points out that “she couldn’t even hit the floor”,  which I do believe is a more accurate assessment of the situation.)

All’s well that ends well though.  I was uninjured (thankfully I am not one of those people who play in flip flops) and my partner and I wound up with a second place finish for the night.

Life is good.

Ah well, there’s no way to put a nice spin on it.  I sucked big time in my debut with Dillinger’s Bar “J Team” last night.  9 legs, 1 win.

I really don’t get it.  I work hard on my game, throw well in practice, then fold in competition.  Nothing to be done but to keep on keeping on and hope for better results.

Damn it.

The weekend of darts in Augusta was somewhat of a mixed bag, but given that I normally have disastrous results I reckon I fared pretty well overall.

I was featured on the local news broadcast covering the event.  And by featured I mean I appear in the background at the 0.13 second mark (I’m the one wearing the blue jersey that says “John “the Walrus” McCrarey on the back).  You can also glimpse Jee Yeun at the 0.29 mark.  It is actually a pretty nice little news story and good for the promotion of darts.

Bottom line up front, I did not qualify for the Nationals.  In my bracket I faced the following nationally ranked players: Joe Chaney (#7), Danny Baggish (#14), George Alvarado (#17) and Jerry Hilbourn (#57).  Highlights for me were throwing a 180 and taking a leg from Chaney (a first for me!).  Lowlights were everything else.  But honestly, throwing against some of the best players in the country was a great experience and I’m sure I came away with some lessons learned.

I will tell the rest of the story in pictures (ok, in picture captions):

In the Friday night blind draw I made it to the final four (with an able assist from my outstanding partner Joe Giordono of course).

Saturday morning brought a top 16 finish in mixed doubles. I was once again blessed with a great partner, Kay Hoover of Cleveland, OH fame. The highlight was beating Robbie Phillips (ADO rank #4) and his partner which was quite the thrill. I met him again that afternoon in men’s doubles and he destroyed me. Still, I can truthfully say I won half the matches I played against Phillips this weekend!

Saturday night saw a thrilling top 4 finish in mixed triples. It was the first time I played that particular event and kudos go out to my partners Megan Hoover and J.R. Heffington for a great night of darts!

I didn’t play worth a damn on Sunday, but the weather was perfect for sitting outside and enjoying the view of the Savannah River…

So, there you have it.  Augusta was the first U.S. tourney I played when I came back from Korea in 2013 and it will be my last in the States until this fall.  It was a helluva lot of fun and that’s about all you can hope for.

Those of you who have been following my darts “career” will recall the numerous accounts of my valiant efforts to actually qualify for a Regional event, only to either utterly fail or (even worse in some ways) to fall painfully short of making the cut.

I am pleased to report that as of today those failures are all in the past.  That’s right, the ol’ Walrus has earned a spot to play in Augusta on March 7*.  You can’t make the Nationals without winning a Regional.  And the first step to winning a Regional is to qualify for one.  Mission accomplished!

* Of course, I still hope to be back in Korea anytime now.  But given that the mailman continues to disappoint us each and every day, I can’t make firm plans for our departure.  I’m resolved now to apply for Advance Parole in the hope that it will expedite things.  Yes, I should have done so months ago, but I naively held out hope that Uncle Sam would do the right thing.  Still, if something shakes loose in the next week or two I might just schedule my flight for March 8.

I have achieved a new milestone in my darting “career”. Today I received an email from Cosmo Darts Fit Flight respectfully declining my offer to let them sponsor me. It was an honor to be rejected by such a fine company!

Actually, I didn’t really expect them to pay me or give me free stuff.  I just wanted them to provide me their logo to wear on my dart jersey.  Truth be told I didn’t even expect a response, but I did get this:

Hello Mr. John McCrarey,

I am Nozomi Nishikawa and the Cosmo Darts sales/promotion representative of overseas division.

I would like to thank you for your interest in Cosmo Darts. We are very happy to hear that you like our products. Unfortunately, we are not able to provide you with our logo images since we give them to only our sponsored players. However, there are many players who love our products and put our logos on their shirts by themselves. I think they use logos on our website or something. So, you can put our logos on you shirts. We appreciate your support.

I found your name in the Seoul International Dart Leagues as a vice president. You live in the USA, but are you working in Korea for the dart league? I’m just curious as there are not so many who play darts in Korea regularly.

 Thank you for your interest.

 Best regards, Nozomi Nishikawa

See, here’s the thing. With depending upon the ranking proof, wearing a company logo on your dart shirt implies sponsorship.  And it would be gauche to go around pretending to be sponsored when you are not.   I’m such a whore that I would have allowed myself to be “sponsored” for the mere cost of a company provided logo.  But they were obviously on to my scheme and didn’t want a doofus like me diluting the value of corporate sponsorship.

But I guess what really surprised me was that they actually made the effort to find out who I am.  The reference to the Seoul International Dart League (which I hadn’t mentioned in my email to them) indicates they Googled my name.  Hence, they were able to confirm that I am, in fact, a doofus.  [BTW, I use “doofus” as the darts equivalent to “duffer” in golf]

For the record, I’m a former President of SIDL but currently have no affiliation with the league other than as a participant (I’m on a team but obviously won’t be playing until my return to Korea).  But the real insult is the claim that there are not so many who play darts in Korea regularly.  What the hell?  There are thousands of enthusiastic dart players in Korea!  Has he never heard of the Korea Darts Federation?

As you’ve probably surmised, Cosmo Darts is a Japanese company, so you can see where this is going. Now, I don’t want to stir up any animosity between Japan and Korea (Dokdo is our land! and it’s the East Sea, damn it!) but this attitude towards Korean darts strikes me as, dare I say it, colonial!

Alright, I’m kidding.  Mostly.  But I do believe that Cosmo is missing a great opportunity if they aren’t actively marketing using pbn backlinks for their outstanding products in Korea.  I’d have been willing to help them with that, but I’m sure they could find a non-doofus Korean to sponsor if they even knew that darts existed in Korea.

So, I didn’t get a Cosmo Darts logo, but I did get this blog post.  I guess that makes us all winners!

…that drinking alcoholic beverages is not generally conducive to enhanced hand/eye coordination.  And yet, many (most?) dart players insist that they play better after a few beers.  They even say witty things like “I need me some more aiming fluid.”  And as illogical as it seems, I’ve seen guys throw a mean game that I wouldn’t want to see behind the wheel.

Personally, I’ve thrown completely sober (usually in the morning matches at tournaments) and as is more normally the case, after consuming some icy cold liquid bread. Frankly, I don’t see a real big difference in my results.  Well, on a normal dart night I will drink five or six beers over the course of 3 or 4 hours.  And generally speaking, I get a little sloppier with my throws towards the end.  So then I switch to diet Coke.

I throw best when I’m “in the zone”–relaxed and focused and not “over thinking” my game.  Darts is basically about repetition–muscle memory if you will.  I get in trouble when I start consciously aiming as opposed to making a more natural throw towards the target.  So, to the extent that two or three beers calms the mind and eases nervousness, there could indeed be some benefit I suppose.

But a better explanation may be that avoiding too much “mindfulness” is the key to throwing better darts.  This article in Scientific American makes the argument that at least for some activities “those with a low degree of mindfulness scored higher on pattern-finding tests than those who were further along the pathway toward enlightenment. (Mindfulness is defined here as attention to what is happening in the present moment in one’s surroundings.)”

It makes a certain amount of sense I suppose.  To be effective at the sport you can’t afford distractions.  There is actually quite a bit of etiquette normally expected during a match intended to avoid unduly distracting a shooter from the task at hand (scorekeepers must stand absolutely still, the opponent stands out of the thrower’s line of sight, and loud talking or shouting “miss it!” are also frowned upon).  Still, the game is generally played in a pub atmosphere, which means distractions like loud music, boisterous drunks, and pretty waitresses are difficult to avoid.  A little less mindfulness can be a good thing in these circumstances.

I reckon the next time someone throws a good game to beat me I’ll congratulate him by saying “you must be out of your mind!”

(I originally saw a link to the Scientific American article on Instapundit and immediately saw the potential applicability to darts, but was too lazy busy to blog about it.  But when I saw that the Big Hominid had also tweeted (twittered?) the link, I got motivated!)

…is that they have no respect for their elders!

Which is my tongue-in-cheek way of explaining why I lost to ADO National Youth Champion Dylan Andersen in the third round of cricket singles last night.  I hung with him though and actually played well enough to win, except that I didn’t.  As is her custom, Jee Yeun jokingly tells a victorious opponent “I don’t like you.  You beat my husband.”  Dylan responded “no I didn’t, he beat himself”.  True that.

It doesn’t matter how many great darts you throw (and I hit some big ones) if you don’t throw the winning dart.  And I didn’t.  But other than the fact that I lost I felt good about my overall performance.  I kept my head in the game, didn’t get flustered or intimidated, and gave a superior player all he could handle.  In the past I haven’t done any of those things, so I call that progress.

(Jee Yeun posted a video clip from the match on Facebook.  Not sure how to move it here.)

A little ditty to sing on the way to Myrtle Beach for the Ghost on the Coast tournament.

Beach bound and down
And ready for some chuckin’
We’re gonna do what they say can’t be done
We’ve gotta lot of darts to throw
Over by the ocean
We’re gonna shoot ’em up and have us all some fun!

With apologies to Jerry Reed.

A goal accomplished.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been hankering to earn a spot on the American Darts Organization list of nationally ranked players.  I’m proud to say I’ve made the cut!

Alright, so I’m tied for 401st.  Out of 903 players.  But hey, it’s a start!

If I play well in Myrtle Beach later this month I might be able to climb a few notches.  And now I’m motivated to get off the computer and actually go practice some!

…that was the sound of my head exploding after turning in a sorry ass 5-15 performance in the darts match.