You’ve been with me from the beginning of Long Time Gone.  But when I reached out to you in my hour of need, you turned your back and ignored my repeated pleas for assistance.  I suppose it’s the age old story of one outgrowing the other in a relationship.  I may be just another small fry to you, but damn I was loyal.

So, it is with some sadness and regret I say goodbye to you forever.  There’s a new blog host in my life now, Host Gator, who’s catchy little motto is “we eat up the competition.”  Blogs About, consider yourself devoured.

Not sure how long the transition will take, but have no fear, should LTG disappear for a couple of days, I will be back bigger and better than ever before.  Kinda like a bad dream.

…is that the question?

It was the best of posts, it was the worst of posts.  Bloggers of the world unite!

No, I have no idea where I’m going with this blog post.  Apparently the latest grammatical faux pas is to call something you write on your blog a blog.  As opposed to a post on your blog.  Me, I’ve never been a slave to grammatical correctness but this whole kerfuffle strikes me as much adieu ado* about nothing.  A tempest in a teapot.  And don’t even get me started on the overuse of cliches.  Personally, I avoid trite phrases like the plague,  but that’s just me.

But seriously, I don’t see why this whole “blog versus post” issue matters enough for someone to actually to actually blog about it.  Or to warrant writing a post on your own blog in response.  I have a blog and sometimes I even write some worthless crap and post it here.  My mother used to say “oh, I loved that blog you wrote today.”  I’d dearly love to hear those words again.

Anyway, when I see something that strikes my fancy I’m liable to blog about it with a post like this.  Can’t we all just get along?

*Thanks to Kevin Kim for noticing my brain fart.  Sometimes I’m too smart by half.  I knew what I was trying to say, why I wrote it the way I did is a mystery.  Kevin generously would have let me play it off as an intentional gaffe, but when your wrong your wrong.  And yes, you’re right, that last one was intentional.  I guess it might be wise for me to keep y’all guessing whether I’m really that ignorant or just bad at being funny…

I’ll need to take one of these next time I travel.

A solution is just 15 minutes away!

Beats me, but the nice folks at Samoa Airlines could tell you no doubt.  Or at least the price of a kilo of flesh.

I’m a big guy, but charging by weight instead of by the seat makes some sense.  It’s how the airlines have always charged for freight.  And lord knows, passengers are treated pretty much like cattle these days anyway.

Heh, I was just wondering if I’d be able to afford to fly my fat ass belly back and forth to Korea.  But with what I’d save on Jee Yeun’s ticket I could probably swing it.  And what a great incentive for dieting–every pound lost would be like a discount on air travel!

It’s all part of the design.  As is made abundantly clear in this somewhat irreverent video clip…

Isn’t that special.  I’m not that much into delving into my cultural heritage.  Like most Americans, I expect I’m more of a mongrel dog than anything.   Indeed, family rumor has it that we’ve even got some Native American blood coursing through our veins.  I did ask my father once if the McCrarey clan was Irish or Scottish.  He said “well son, I drink like an Irishman and I’m cheap like a Scot, so I guess we’ve got some of both.”

Who knows?  And more importantly, who cares?  The whole purpose of this post is to share a short video clip that I found funny.  Enjoy!

So, I bought the GIMP photo editing software.  On the blog I often must resize photos to fit the window as it were.  Now I’m trying to learn how to use the software.  Let’s see if this photo fits, shall we?

ok, I think this one is going to be ok as well.  But geez, this Gimp is going to take a lot of getting used to.  I reckon must features I’ll never need (read: figure out).

Or recklessly writing.  Of course, the less I write, the fewer errors I make.  Having said that, I’d best stop before some inadvertent accident occurs.  Like when Ann Althouse exposed her its.

In other news, I’m full of good intentions about losing some weight.  So ladies, consider yourselves warned.

…and I feel, er, disgusted.

As is my wont, I did some traveling around the internets this morning.  What I saw wasn’t pretty.  Let me show you what I mean:

From Germany:  A buxom woman has been accused of trying to kill her lawyer boyfriend… with her double-D breasts. Franziska Hansen, 33 from Germany is accused of ‘attempted manslaughter with a weapon’ after her boyfriend claimed she tried to smother him with her breasts and pretend it was a sex game of motorboat.

Rockland, Maine: A 62-year-old Cushing man will spend five days in jail after pleading guilty Wednesday to assaulting his estranged wife.  The incident occurred in July in Warren when his wife of 39 years, who was estranged from him, stayed at his place. He offered her $20 for sex, and when she refused he took out his penis and struck her with it, according to the prosecution’s version of events to which he pleaded guilty.

Florida: A woman who allegedly masturbated in a Florida Starbucks was arrested Thursday after police found a glass pipe with cocaine residue in her purse, authorities said. “We were called there by someone who said she was masturbating. She was high on crack with her hands going everywhere,” police spokesperson Josh Cramer said. “No one can say for sure what she was doing, but her hands were in her pants when she was wigging out,” he said.

Manila: The body of Roberto Apuyan was discovered with 11 stab wounds inside a room at Pitang Suites on Evangelista Street in Pasig City on November 19. Through a check of the motel records, the police managed to track down and arrest the primary suspect —a 15-year-old girl who was the victim’s lover. According to the motel staff, both were regular guests of the establishment.  A further check of the records and verification showed that the minor did not kill the victim by herself. Her 21-year-old boyfriend, Elton Juan,  had helped her carry out the deed. [Elton Juan–are you kidding me?]

Alabama:  A man raped his niece while the girl’s father watched, according to police. Police said Dustin Alton Kent raped his niece, then 13, in 2008. The girl’s father, who committed suicide in June, allegedly told her she was going to the pet store and instead drove to Kent. The father is said to have seen his daughter being raped.  Several members of the Wood family, including her own brother, have been charged with incest and rape. “From the evidence I have seen,” Patterson said, “this is a kind of collection of pedophiles.”

China: A 14-year-old girl, stole her mother’s husband, married him and had a baby together, according to court proceedings.  The Chinese teenager apparently had a lovechild with her stepfather. She is threatening to cut off ties with her mother unless she divorces him.  After the baby was born, the stepfather sent a text message to his wife, congratulating her for being a grandmother.

Ireland: A man was arrested and charged after a woman died having sex with his dog at his home, according to court proceedings.
Sean McDonnell from Limerick, Ireland, had met a woman on a chat line for bestiality. She later had sex with a dog at his home, but died shortly after.  Originally it was believed that she has had an allergic reaction to animal sex, but test were unable to prove this theory.

Missouri:  A St. Louis, Missouri woman pleaded guilty Monday to carrying out sexual acts with her dog and was sentenced to 120 days in jail. Dana Kintz, 28, called police on March 12 to her home claiming that her boyfriend Shawn Ingram, 37, has beaten and slapped her. Police said they found child pornography on cell phone images and also saw Kintz with Ingram engaged in sexual acts with the couple’s dog.

[It looks more like dog on dog to me, but in either case, the SPCA should be called]

Florida: 32-year-old Karnesha Dixon, from Florida, was caught in a compromising position by the police, while inside of a minivan. The Police of Martin County were tipped off to a couple getting frisky and when they approached the van they found Dixon’s head in the lap of 78-year-old Jackie Fischer. When asked what she was doing, she said that she was simply looking for cigarettes.  [It’s a shame more women don’t smoke.  And here’s hoping I’m feeling that randy at 78!]

There you have it.  These may or may not be signs of coming apocalypse.  As for me, I think I’ll take a shower.

Speaking of sick and dirty, this photograph appeals to me for reasons I can’t quite explain.

It seems quite a few of our senior military officers can’t seem to avoid the temptation of sexy subordinates.  Does this indicate a breakdown in the moral fabric of our nation?  Or maybe it is just a case of human nature refusing to be denied.

I really don’t want to believe in the “infidelity risk curve”, but damn, I find it hard to argue with the logic presented here.

…and wins!

There’s even a South Korea connection!

Neanderthals need love too!

Hurrah, hurrah!

Back to Korea!

If it walks like a duck, and squawks like a duck, it must be a duck.  Right?

Right?

(A Toyota commercial from Japan, a Korean music video, and some classic 70s rock and roll)

…”Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men.” 

I only wish I had the wisdom to be more compassionate, but I am afraid to try.