Rescued!

Buddy has been found. Well, captured is a more apt description of the event.

I got a call from Mike, the guy who got me Buddy, that a trike driver said he had found Buddy. I thought that meant he had him in his possession, but that was not the case. As I feared, Buddy had resisted being brought in and ran off into a nearby swamp. Apparently he swam about 100 yards out before getting tangled up and stuck in some tall grass. When I arrived on scene they were just pointing out at the water saying he “was there”. Well, yeah but what good does that do me?

Then a brave soul waded out into the trash filled morass to try and bring him back in. Despite his dire circumstances, Buddy barked and snarled menacingly at his would be rescuer. So then another guy improvised a harness by running some rope through a PVC pipe with a noose on the end. Somehow the wader managed to loop that around Buddy’s neck and dragged him ashore. It was both sad and impressive.

The swamp where Buddy was trapped.

Buddy swam part of the way back to shore….

Once he was on solid but trashy ground he collapsed. I tried to comfort him the best I could…

….but he was having none of it. He went absolutely wild, jumping and biting the rope to try and escape…

I was startled and stumbled backwards, cartwheeling down this trash hillside several times before landing at the fetid waters edge. I was fucking lucky I didn’t hit any of shards of glass in that heap. My pockets emptied during the tumble, but I only lost one vape pen, so…

Buddy was like a wild animal, never seen a “domesticated” pet act like that. We put him in a muzzle and a small cage and transported him to the vet. They got him calmed down but said I need to wait a week or so before getting his shots and de-worming. I’ve got some meds to give him in the meantime.

But he’s back home now and giving me a look that says “you still suck, but this is better than living on the street!”

…”and the food is marginally better too”

So, the original owner asked if they could have Buddy back in exchange for a puppy. Their son apparently really misses the dog. I briefly considered it, only because I wondered if Buddy would be happier there. But then I said no, he’s staying with me. I’ll give him a much better life in the long run. I’m thinking I’ll still go for a puppy though. I think Buddy might be more comfortable with some canine company around the house…

Anyway, this turned out to be a great day!

Thanks for the words of wisdom

My blog buddy Kevin Kim is celebrating the anniversary of 15 years of blogging. Unlike me, his posts usually contain meaning and substance. I’ve been reading him since 2005 when I first moved to Korea. Amongst his thousands of posts over the years, two in particular have resonated with me. I’ve gone back and read them several times when I needed to be reminded of their lessons. And now you too can have the rewarding experience of reading these pearls of wisdom:

Put it down

Arbor Day meditation

And while you are at it, may as well make the Big Hominid a daily read, doncha think?

Thanks for all you have shared over the years Mr. Kim and I will look forward to much more to come!

Lucky 13

Busy day today. Up and out to the new house waiting for the long overdue visit from Zeny, the assistant to the landlord. Much to my surprise she was joined by Mrs. Ocampo, the owner. I expressed my frustration as politely as I could manage with the slow non-existent progress on the needed house repairs. She assured me it was just a misunderstanding with the contractor and that things would be remedied in an expeditious manner. We shall see, although the construction guys did stop by and I showed them what needed to be done. Time will tell.

In the meanwhile, I went about doing the things that are within my control.

I made the bed all by myself…well, put it together I mean…

My 49 inch curved screen Samsung smart TV is now mounted on the wall.

My new Samsung refrigerator is chillin’ in my kitchen.

Nearby my new stove. Don’t know the brand, but I noticed today it was made in Turkey. That’s something I don’t see everyday. It’s a gas range for 3 burners and has one electric burner should you happen to run out of gas (LPG here is delivered in tanks, not through pipes). Nice oven with a rotisserie set up for roasting chicken. We’ll see how that works out.

I went out this afternoon and bought a desk and chair. I’ll be blogging with a view soon.

I also have cable TV and internet now, which of course will facilitate blogging here at LTG.
The other truck is from a local shop that does custom doors and screens. Ordered me up some replacement glass today…

More to tell re: the house but I’m too tired to think about it tonight. Stay tuned!

Oh, and it did rain again this morning. That’s thirteen straight, but who’s counting?

Your cash ain’t nothin’ but trash

Guess what woke me up at o’dark thirty this morning? Yep, a dirty dozen of rainy days. Still, it’s been clearing out for a good portion of the day. An occasional cloud burst ain’t so hard to handle. Yesterday was a fine day and it appears that today is shaping up to be the same.

I put my new Fitbit to work and logged me a good day of steppin’ out. No idea though why it’s not registering stairs. I did at least two mountains yesterday.

My walking was enhanced through that special motivation known as the Hash.

And yesterday’s event was the 1300th in storied history of the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers. All participants were gifted this fine new hat in commemoration of that event.

Loaded up in the Hash truck and headed down the highway…and yes, it is as uncomfortable as I look.

In short order though we were on-on for the day’s trail…

As is our custom, the hike took us through the backwoods and countryside…

…where folks live a simple life. Too simple perhaps.

Getting high legally!

It was a good day to be out and about.

And taking time to soak up the amazing views…

The Hares changed it up by taking us through the rice fields instead of around them. Bastards.

Things could always be worse, and this farm family seemed happy and friendly. Well, that’s what Filipino’s are known for…

A lot of the Hash group veered off and took a short cut around the last mountain of the day. Me and these two said “fuck that, the Hare laid the trail and by God we are going to follow it”. I really respected them for that…

The “on-home” was at Johan’s on Baloy Beach, very near my current residence.

And I avoided having to sit on the block of ice during the Hash circle ceremonies/rituals.

So, no blood on the trail this week. I was happy for that accomplishment!

With the sun finally shining I was able to resume my beach walks this morning. While the beaches here are never pristine, I’d never seen them trashed like this before. Those high tides during the recent storms must have washed up a bunch of old litter and flotsam…

Well, it’s a mess, that’s for sure.

I’ll head back out to the house today and hope to see some progress on the repairs. Hope springs eternal and all that.

Still no girlfriend. Money can’t buy me love.

I was walking down the main track
One night
I met a fine chick
She was built just right
She stopped when I flashed my roll
I told her she could have all of my dough
She turned around and with a frown
She said this ain’t no circus
And I don’t need a clown

Your cash ain’t nothing but trash
Your cash ain’t nothing but trash
Your cash ain’t nothing but trash
And there ain’t no need in your hanging around

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1NZ23Lp6L4

Taking care of business

More or less. Well, truth be told more less than more.

Very frustrated with my housing situation. Visited the property this morning. Construction repairs nowhere near complete. No power. No water. No cable/internet. Basically everything that was supposed to happen, hasn’t. Been trying to call and message the landlord with no response. That really pisses me off.

Once I’m in the place I’m going to act like I own the damn thing. Yeah, I’ll fix it up as I please and hopefully only have to interact with Pablo when the rent is due. And that will be on him. I expect money will motivate him. Although I’ve got a wad of cash (five months rent) I’m prepared to hand over once the house is move-in ready.

There was a little break in the rain this afternoon so I was able to get out and walk around some. Found a used furniture where I might pick up a few things I need. And I spent some time inside the house getting a feel for how I’m going to arrange things. Have an idea for the TV viewing area, a corner of the living room for a desk/computer set up, and I’ll even hang a dart board.

I met a couple of my neyyyy-bors….

Enjoyed the view from my master bedroom balcony. I’m going to put my soon to be purchased treadmill upstairs where I can watch that scene as I walk.

And I also enjoyed watching these lawnmowers busy at work.

I needed to make my way over to the appliance store, but stopped into Mango’s resort for some liquid refreshment along the way. The rainy weather has the bay all agitated and the water level is the highest I’ve seen.

The tide is high but I’m holding on…

So I arrived after a goodly walk at the Saver’s Appliances outlet. Bought three LG window air conditioners for the upstairs bedrooms and a nice Samsung smart TV (49 inches). Walked out $1800. poorer, and that’s before installation charges. All well, I’m all about living large these days.

Last night was my debut appearance in the Wednesday night dart league. I went 3-1 in my matches, so I was satisfied with that.

The Alley Cat bar waitresses (Epsie and Mika) were also very supportive…

Well, another day, another opportunity to practice my mantra:

Deep breath.

Relax.

Accept the Filipino way.

That’s hard work, but I’ve got to keep after it.

If you ever get annoyed
Look at me I’m self-employed
I love to work at nothing all day
And I’ll be
Taking care of business every day
Taking care of business every way
I’ve been taking care of business, it’s all mine
Taking care of business and working overtime

Oh Fernando!

You were such a disappointment. At least the SM Mall in San Fernando, Pampanga was.

Walked everywhere in that largish shopping center and was unable to find the coveted Fitbit I was seeking. I guess the internet let me down as well because the one retail outlet that allegedly carried Fitbit products, Toby’s Sport, did not have any. Neither did any of the several other sports oriented stores or electronics stores I queried. In fact, most of them didn’t have a clue what I was even talking about.

One and a half hours drive each way in the rain. And my driver Donnie is a maniac. Drives like the guys who used to inspire road rage in me back in the day. Pretty countryside though, so there was that.

And I also got to visit the S&R store. It’s a COSTCO type place. Requires a membership, but Donnie assured me no problem because he had one. Seems he runs shopping errands there for one of the local resorts here in Barretto.

Anyway, I picked up a few items to tide me over until the move. I fully expect I’ll be making a monthly journey out to S&R because they had a pretty nice selection of things I’ve not seen anywhere else. Like fresh milk! (The milk here is packaged and sold off the shelf, refrigerated. No idea how that works)

Oh, and there was this:

Some decent sized and healthy looking celery! That almost made the trip worth it. Almost.

So it comes time to check out and Donnie presents his S&R membership card. Expired. 700 pesos ($14) to renew. Of course, he didn’t have the cash so I paid for it. And speaking of cash, my credit card was not able to be used because the “connection” was down. Luckily I had been to the ATM this morning!

Lots of other stuff I can purchase there to outfit my house, which I will allegedly be able to occupy this coming Friday. I’ll get my 700 peso use of that membership I reckon.

I’m so ready.

Here’s another shot I took on my daily walk through the neighborhood.

Anyway, I’m trying to learn to roll with the flow and not let the frustrations of daily life in the Philippines get to me. Much. (deep breath, relax, and accept the Filipino way)

Things will settle down and I’ll settle in soon enough I reckon.

The first day of the rest of my (new) life

What a difference a day makes!

The final goodbye to my work family was as difficult as I expected it would be. Lots of tears, including some of my own…

The king has left his palace for the last time…

I hired a local Filipina I know to drive me to Incheon for W150,000. I decided to pay a premium for the convenience of door-to-door service She brought her boyfriend along which turned out to be a good thing. She kept texting while driving in heavy traffic and after ignoring his entreaties to stop doing it, he took the phone away from her. I breathed a sigh of relief!

When the check-in counter for Philippines Air opened an hour after my arrival I was second in line for the business class check-in. When my turn came I hefted my two heavy suitcases up on the belt and then waited for what I hoped would be good news. After a bit she looked up at me and said simply “you are overweight”. I smiled and said, yeah I know, but I’m working hard on that with diet and exercise. She didn’t get my meaning at first, but then she pointed at the scale which read “64 kgs” and said I’m only allowed 30 kgs. She then helpfully suggested that if I wanted to pay and additional W334,000 she would check the bag. And so I did. I wasn’t surprised I was over the limit, just surprised by how much.

Anyway, I got to kill time in an airport lounge with a decent enough free buffet (another business class perk) while I waited to board my flight. Which in due course I did.

The only way to fly! The seat fully reclined, no one sitting next to me, and I enjoyed re-watching the musical “Chicago” for the first time in years. A short nap afterwards and then we were wheels down in Manila.

And once again the business class perks paid off as I was near the front of line at immigration and my luggage was amongst the first on the carousel. I was a little nervous that my many and bulging bags would garner unwanted attention from the customs folks (2 laptops, 15 new vape pens, and a dozen large bottles of juice) but they didn’t blink an eye as I sailed on through. Woot!

My driver was waiting in the appointed location and I was impressed as he skillfully maneuvered his way through the surprisingly heavy late night Manila traffic. It a long drive regardless and it was 3:00 a.m. when we finally arrived at the Treasure Island Resort where I will stay until Monday.

My room is a disappointment. I booked through Agoda and specifically requested (and paid for) an ocean view room. Well, the ocean ain’t far outside my door, but the room does not feature any windows. I guess if I sit out on my patio I can see water, but still… Oddly enough, the last time I stayed at Treasure Island I was given the same room, which is why I never came back. And just to prove that the God of Love has a wicked sense of humor, this is the room I shared with Loraine last year. So I slept in the bed we once shared, but honestly, it didn’t bother me. Much.

Maybe I was unfazed because before going to bed I took my sleeping meds in the form of ice cold San Mig Lights. It seemed like a good way to kick off retired life.

Up around 8:00 this morning, had an omelette and took a quick hike on the beach.

It felt damn good too.

A nice day to be retired.

While I was out and about I took a look at available short term apartments here in the Baloy beach area. The one I had looked at and liked during my January trip will not be available until next month. I found another one I kinda liked but when I asked about internet, the owner said “it’s better outside than inside”. Nope. So, I guess I’m going to settle for a little one bedroom place up the road a piece. It will run about $500 a month. Way too much really, but it is not a place I’m willing to stay long term, so there’s a premium on month-to-month. Or maybe I’m just paying the foreigner tax. Ah well, not going to sweat the small stuff.

Long term I still want a nice house. Walked through Alta Vista subdivision again but alas, I saw nothing for rent.

one of these…

…which feature this view would suit me just fine. I’ll be patient. Tomorrow I’ll check out another nearby subdivision and see what I can see…

Had lunch here at Treasure Island and flirted with the cute waitress Jessa. But it was all teasing, she is way too young and also has a four year old. Not going there!

I still need to go to the mall on the old Navy base and get a sim card for my phone. Was on my way to do that this afternoon and the sky started rumbling, so I said fuck it and came back to write this blog. Aren’t you glad I did?

And ain’t retired life grand?

My friend Eva sent me this poem and said when she saw it she thought it must be similar to what I’ve been feeling. Yeah, pretty much.

This is the beginning…
This is where it all will start,
on the wings of some new spirit with the beat of some new heart.

Every morning brings a promise,
Every day has gifts to give,
But today…right now…this minute….
is when I begin to live.
And the air that I am breathing is the breeze of what could be,
as I stand here looking out on all the things that could be Me.
And the road that goes before me, leading somewhere out of sight,
is a brand new opportunity for me to get it right.
This is the beginning. This is
Once Upon a Time….
There are dragons to be vanquished! There are castle walls to climb!
But this story isn’t written yet.
I’m only at page one.
The adventure that’s awaiting me has only just begun.
There are mysteries and treasures.
There are daring deeds to do!
And if I speak the secret word, then all my wishes will come true.
That magic word has powers that can make the heavens spin.
But it really is not secret that the password is……”Begin!”
Oh the possibilities is this beginning I have made!
I am ready!…. but reluctant.
I am excited!…. but afraid.

Afraid that starting something new leaves something old behind.
Afraid that what I seek is something I may never find.
Or, if I find it, that it won’t be what I want at all.
That what I’ve left behind is what I needed after all.

Beginning can be bittersweet, and hard to comprehend.
It can mean that some sweet, precious part of life is at an end.
And the heart can feel so hollow when it has to say good-bye
that the thought of starting over is too hard to even try.

But when I reach the end, when all my days are nearly through,
I will not want to look back on all the things I didn’t do.
Nor regret the joys and passions of the me that might have been,
if only I had found the simple courage to begin.
So…….This is the beginning….
My Beginning……..My Rebirth.
I awaken to the wonder of what I am really worth.
It is a springtime for the spirit, and it’s giving me a choice.
So I choose to use this season as a reason to rejoice!

I lift my voice in sweet thanksgiving, singing loud….and not alone.
A host of harmonies accompanies my song of the unknown.
Loving friends and willing strangers, with their voices joining in,
create a chorus of encouragement that begs me to begin.

And the end?…..
It’s out there, somewhere, farther than the heart can see.
And the power that will take me there is here, inside of me.
Though there is no way I can know how many trials I’ll endure,
nor the joys that I may find,
there is one thing I know for sure…..

This is the Beginning…….
–Warren Hanson

Beware of vampires!

Kevin Kim has an outstanding post on being sucked dry by emotional vampires. Go give it a read!

This part especially resonated with me:

Love is born of strength, not weakness—of independence, not slavish dependence. First function alone and find your strength. It’s when you stop seeking in a needy way that the right person will come along.

Anyone who has been reading my blog is probably nodding in agreement that I ought to be heeding those words. I’m a work in progress!

Wanna bet? Oh well, it only hurts until the pain goes away…

Here’s hoping vampires don’t exist in the Philippines. 54 days to go.

Let it be forgotten

Let it be forgotten, as a flower is forgotten,
Forgotten as a fire that once was singing gold,
Let it be forgotten for ever and ever,
Time is a kind friend, he will make us old.

If anyone asks, say it was forgotten
Long and long ago,
As a flower, as a fire, as a hushed footfall
In a long forgotten snow.

–Sara Teasdale

Sadly, the unfinished story I alluded to in my previous post appears to have reached it’s conclusion. The love is still there but the hope is now gone. Time to move on with the new narrative for my life. Whatever that turns out to be. 55 days to go.

I climbed a mountain today and didn’t throw myself off, so there’s that.

Me and the workmate Rafael enjoying the summit.

A view from the top.

So, at the top of Mount Asan is a helipad. I’m told choppers actually land there on occasion.

And now they have added a hanger….

So, speaking of my walking life I do tend to get around. And this being a small town, people seem to notice me. Yesterday a young soldier in our HQ building said she saw me walking on the far side of the base and asked how many miles I usually walk in a day. I told I try to do ten, more or less. She seemed impressed. Yeah, I’m pathetic I know.

I have several regular routes of various lengths I traverse depending on the time I have to spend. Being old and all, one key element I try to incorporate into my walks is public restrooms. In one of these restrooms I am always being stared at when I’m using the urinal.

What? Never seen one that big?

Two years ago I was visiting my friend Maria in Cebu.

I’d say all that walking has made a difference at least.

And speaking of Maria, she volunteered to help with a new masthead for the blog. That’s it up above. Much better than the one I created, don’t you think? Thanks so much, Maria!

Started this post off with Sara Teasdale, let’s end it that way as well.

It was a night of early spring,
The winter-sleep was scarcely broken;
Around us shadows and the wind
Listened for what was never spoken.

Though half a score of years are gone,
Spring comes as sharply now as then–
But if we had it all to do
It would be done the same again.

It was a spring that never came;
But we have lived enough to know
That what we never have, remains;
It is the things we have that go.

Life’s a dance

A good day in Seoul.

The Korean Employees Union leaders treated me and my KN labor adviser to a fine meal.

Grilled beef was tasty as were the sides. As a single guy I don’t get to enjoy Korean meals that often as they are generally served for a minimum of two…

After lunch we went upstairs to the union office and conducted our meeting. After working through the union’s agenda, I advised them I had one agenda item. I told them I had purchased a ticket to the Philippines for May 11. “When will you be back?” the President asked. I said it is a one-way ticket. I won’t be back. They were incredulous and none too pleased with the news. Which I guess is quite the compliment.

Early in my career I was a union steward and chapter president with the National Association of Letter Carriers. When I received my first promotion as a Safety Specialist, I was woefully unqualified for the job. When I asked the HR Director why she had selected me she replied “I always appreciated how you handled yourself in labor-management meetings. Your willingness to see both sides of a problem told me you had the right attitude and could be trained in the technical aspects of the job”. Now over 30 years later I was conducting a labor-management meeting on the management side of the table and listening with empathy to the union’s issues. It felt like I had completed the circle and it was a nice finishing touch to my long government career.

After work I took a two hour stroll along the Han river then circled back to my hotel as the sun set on another of the dwindling days in my Korea life.

Later that evening I met up with the nephew and friends Wan Jun and Becky for dinner at my favorite grilled pork belly restaurant in Itaewon.

The samgyupsal did not disappoint. Washed it down with beer and soju of course.

After dinner I was feeling nostalgic for one of the oldest bars in Itaewon, the Grand Ole Opry.

It’s the diviest of dive bars and was surprisingly divier than it was on my last visit.

Now, it is no secret that I like to country dance, especially when my brain has been properly lubricated with copious amounts of beer and soju. Sadly, no one was dancing last night despite the place being busier than normal. I noticed Wan Jun buying drinks for the some folks at another table and thought that odd. Then he sent a second round over. And the next thing I knew one of the gals came over for a dance with me. Yep, he bribed a woman to dance with me. How pathetic must I be? Well, I have my pride, but I accepted the dance anyway and twirled her around the empty dance floor. It was fun for me. She left after that one dance.

The last time I danced at the Opry was with my Commie friend Choonae. Justin still had videos on his phone from that night which I linked above. She’s a great dancer and made me look much better than I am. Good times!

I was pretty much done by then anyway. Went back to the hotel where I could Rest in Peace.

Okay, so yeah, I did stop in at the Dairy Queen for a large strawberry sundae. Call the diet police, I don’t care! Also, somewhere along the way I managed to lose my room key and the Crown hotel charged me W10,000 to replace it. Well, I didn’t have much choice but to pay, did I? Up at 0530 this morning to beat the traffic and be home in time for my Saturday mountain climb.

Which I have now completed. Weather was warm and pleasant.

So that’s about it. I have a buyer for the car, the gas grill, and my inflatable bed. And 62 days to sell the remaining remnants of my Korea life.

It has been a strange week hearing from some past loves. But also gratifying. I’ve really learned a lot about love and life through them, and as painful as those experiences may have been, they were invaluable. And it was a comfort for me to know that I’m still thought about and perhaps even loved. To the one that matters most, I think that the love I never expressed until it was too late is at least now believed to have been real and coming from the heart. That means more to me than she’ll ever know.

The longer I live the more I believe
You do have to give if you wanna receive.
There’s a time to listen, a time to talk.
And you might have to crawl even after you walk.
Had sure things blow up in my face,
Seen the longshot win the race.
Been knocked down by the slammin’ door.
Picked myself up and came back for more.

Life’s a dance, you learn as you go.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don’t worry ’bout what you don’t know,
life’s a dance, you learn as you go.

Back to the future

Well, we are on the cusp of another government shutdown. Which complicates my working life in so many ways. Like forcing me to, you know, actually work.

So, the last two days have been filled with meetings and planning sessions. Oh, and if the Congress critters don’t pass a funding bill I’ll be starring in a Facebook Town Hall sponsored by the 8th Army Public Affairs Office. Had a hoot at the rehearsal yesterday.

Nothing to be done now but wait and see if the clowns in DC can get their shit together and do the right thing. I’m hoping for the best and prepared for the worst.

May 11th. That’s the day I’ve chosen as my last day.

It’s always the last place you look…

…but I’ll find it again someday. Or so I keep telling myself.

It seems James Kavanaugh is speaking to me from the grave lately, offering words of encouragement and reminding me that I alone control my destiny.

“I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know – unless it be to share our laughter.

We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we love and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.

For wanderers, dreamers, and lovers, for lonely men and women who dare to ask of life everything good and beautiful. It is for those who are too gentle to live among wolves.”

I actually had several of his books in my personal library back home. Of course, that’s all gone now in the wreckage of shattered dreams. But reading this again tonight is comforting and strengthens my resolve to continue the quest. I must not settle for less than I want and deserve in life. Perhaps she is also searching for me at this very moment and if destiny allows our paths will one day cross again.

It could happen. Will I be wise and brave enough to know and embrace it?

Sorrow floats

“Human beings are remarkable – at what we can learn to live with. If we couldn’t get strong from what we lose, and what we miss, and what we want and can’t have, then we couldn’t ever get strong enough, could we? What else makes us strong?”
–John Irving

The village of Anjeong-ri is a sad and depressing place. And yes, I’ve considered that I might just be projecting the sadness that permeates my life. But it is not that. At least not completely that. It is just hard to ignore the barren streets and sidewalks. The pathetic bars full of desperate juicy girls hoping for an overpriced drink to augment their meager salary. The old ajummas digging through trash for cardboard to recycle. The emptiness that seems to ooze from every crack in the sidewalk. Okay, maybe I am projecting on that one.

I guess I should be used to the “life” here by now, but I frankly can’t wait to get the fuck out of this burg. I guess the genesis of this rant has been watching several new businesses being opened that I know are destined to fail. I’ve watched these folks pour in their heart, soul and money as they worked so hard in pursuit of their dreams. Now I walk by on my nightly excursions to the bars, and see nothing but empty chairs and tables and the forlorn expressions of the owners as they wonder where the customers are.

Exhibit A. Pippi Burger. Watched these folks working hard for two months preparing to open for business. They’ve been open over a month now. I walk by at least twice a day at what should be peak hours. I’ve seen a total of 2 customers so far.

The newest bar in town. Just opened this past week. It has a bar that seats 4, a pool table, and a couple of other chairs. Even if they fill the place up (which hasn’t happened yet when I’ve walked by) I don’t see how they can turn a profit. I’ll have to drop in soon and see what it’s all about.

And finally, our new Philly steak sandwich joint. Looks nice. I’ve seen a couple of people getting take out, but it is really too far from the main gate to get much soldier traffic I reckon. Good luck!

Ah well, I’ll have a whole other kind of sorrow to view when I’m living among the poor folks in the Philippines. Barrio Baretto is similar in size to Anjeong-ri, but the expat residents are mostly old fuckers like me. At least we can share tales of our glory days. I’m focused on having meaning and purpose in my life there, I’ll just have to figure out what those are. Just over 3 months to go!

“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” John Barrymore.

“I dream of having no regrets” John McCrarey

I did have some company this past weekend.

My old Shenanigans crew from Seoul came down to see what life here is all about. They too were shocked out how empty the streets and bars are. They may have even felt sorry for me a little.

On Sunday morning I fed them a hearty breakfast and they were back on their way to the big city.

I was actually even more lonely and depressed after they left. I guess once you are used to being alone, you don’t miss people so much. Until you get a taste of what is was like to have friends.

Well, I do have my bar friends here I suppose.

It was funny, I had no idea “JJ” was including me in her selfie. I had to laugh when she shared this pic with me. It might explain why I’m always alone. I’m oblivious to what is going on around me. I got to thinking, hey maybe she likes me. But then I remembered there is no point in pursuit. I’m leaving soon and she’s Korean. Been there, done that.

The quote at the beginning of this post is from one of my favorite authors, John Irving. The “Sorrow floats” reference is also from one of his books. It got me to thinking, when did I stop reading? It’s been awhile since I’ve enjoyed a good book. I’m thinking that will be one activity I resume once I wrap my arms around retired life.

And I do love poetry. Recalled this poem today when I was chatting with a dear friend of mine (thanks for everything Eva!).

Will you be my friend?

There are so many reasons why you never should:
I’m sometimes sullen, often shy, acutely sensitive,
My fear erupts as anger, I find it hard to give,
I talk about myself when I’m afraid
And often spend the day without anything to say

But I will make you laugh
And love you quite a bit
And hold you when you’re sad.
I cry a little almost every day
Because I’m more caring than the strangers ever know,
And, if at times, I show my tender side
(The soft and warmer part I hide)
I wonder

Will you be my friend?
A friend
Who far beyond the feebleness of any vow or tie
Will touch the secret place where I am really I,
To know the pain of lips that plead and eyes that weep,
Who will not run away when you find me in the street
Alone and lying mangled by my quota of defeats
But will stop and stay – to tell me of another day
When I was beautiful.

Will you be my friend?
There are so many reasons why you never should;
Often I’m too serious, seldom predictable the same,
Sometimes cold and distant, probably I’ll always change.
I bluster and brag, seek attention like a child.
I broud and pout, my anger can be wild,
But I will make you laugh
And love you quite a bit
And be near when you’re afraid.
I shake a little almost every day
Because I’m more frightened than the strangers ever know

And if at times I show my trembling side
(The anxious, fearful part I hide)
I wonder,
Will you be my friend?
A friend
Who, when I fear your closeness, feels me push away
And stubbornly will stay to share what’s left on such a day
Who, when no one knows my name or calls me on the phone,
When there’s no concern for me – what I have or haven’t done –
And those I’ve helped and counted on have,
oh so deftly, run.
Who, when there’s nothing left but me,
Stripped of charm and subtlety,
Will nonetheless remain.

Will you be my friend?
For no reason that I know
Except I want you so.

I actually cried when I read it again. Sue me!

Anyway, I’m off to Seoul now. Will spend a lovely evening in Itaewon with the nephew, then hit the Army hospital at 0800 for some CT scans.

Life is grand, ain’t it?

Let’s get physical

I made it through the invasive probing relatively unscathed.

Let’s get started! Not exactly confident, more like resigned to my fate.

After being violated in the mouth and ass. I survived the abuse though.

And Good Morning Hospital rewarded me with this free lunchee… I’m sure the porridge was rich in carbs, but after fasting for 24 hours I didn’t give a damn…

So the physical examination was W800,000. They found some polyps on the colon and surgically removed them while I was blissfully unconscious. Something else on the walls of my stomach being biopsied as well. That was another W860,000.

Anyway, full results in two weeks. I expect I’ll live.

Let’s get physical, physical
I wanna get physical
Let’s get into physical
Let me hear your body talk, your body talk
Let me hear your body talk

That’s a first

First time I had to concede to mother nature this winter.  -13 with a brisk breeze just made it too damn painful to walk outside.

I managed 6000 steps by walking around in the HQ building. And then I put my mostly vacant house to work as my indoor walking park.

Up the stairs…

And back down….

And then circuits around the unoccupied upstairs living area…

Pretty damn boring exercise though. I wound up settling for 13,000 steps, far short of my 20,000 daily goal.

Made me a simple but tasty low carb dinner…

And then I had to make a decision. Be smart and stay home or brave the cold to partake in my daily dose of beer drinking.

Fuck you mother nature!

I guess mother nature said fuck you back because this morning there is no running water in the house. Frozen pipes I reckon.

Just how cold is it?

Almost as cold as my damn love life. Almost.

 

Or to be precise, minus 16 Celsius.

Here’s a useful tip: Don’t leave a 12 pack of diet Coke in your trunk when the temperature drops to -16. Just sayin’.

Still getting my steps in, despite the cold. Actually, I can dress warm enough but the black ice is treacherous. I pretty much have to curtail walking after sundown.

The snow covered bicycle trail along the river. I managed to get in a two hour walk here after work today.

 

Cold nights, hot food. Ribs? Aye!

Make no mis steak about it. With a side of Frankenstein’s brains.

Anyway, it was just about a year ago that I received my COPD diagnosis.  The meds have been working great, I have rarely had the coughing fits and shortness of breath I used to experience.  But this cold air has given me some trouble, especially after long exposure.  Been hocking up some nasty shit along the trail.  Ah well, doctor says the hot and humid air in the Philippines will do me good.  In the meantime I’ll just try and enjoy my last winter weather.  Or endure it.

Also one year ago I posted this Charles Bukowski poem on Facebook.  It was a good reminder for me to read it again:

Into the great wide open!

Friday night and cold beer and cold air await me!

The Dating Game

Well, as the old saw goes, when you get bucked off the horse you gotta climb right back on and ride that motherfucker.  Been dipping my toes in the dating pond, at least virtually.  In between walking and drinking I’ve filled some hours on the Filipina Cupid dating website.  It’s a swamp full of scammers and pretenders, but if you are patient you can ferret out some folks who seem at least mildly interesting.

So the way I see it, I’m a well-educated man, successful in most things (excluding love, but no one’s perfect), financially secure, and reasonably attractive for an older gentleman.  When I retire to the Philippines next year I’ll certainly be able to give some lucky Filipina a life beyond her wildest imagination.  The trick is finding the one who is worthy of all that I have to offer.

I’ve had literally hundreds of women “expressing interest”, indicating I’m their “favorite” and messaging me thus far on Filipina Cupid.  While this is certainly soothing to my wounded ego, it’s also a bit of a pain in the ass to sort the wheat from the chaff.  My parameters are age 35-50, reasonably attractive, and intelligent enough to hold a decent conversation.  The qualities I require include honesty, loyalty and a willingness to stay by my side and care for me through good times and bad. Of course, discerning those attributes over the internet (even pictures can lie) is no easy task.  I do read the profiles carefully, and if someone has put forth the effort to actually write something of significance about themselves, I’ll sometimes shoot them a message and start a conversation.

Thus far I’ve identified four potentially worthy of my time.  The first one is 41 year old caregiver named Teri, who happens to live in the exact part of Manila where Loraine resides.  I’ve not broached the subject, but I expect odds are low that they may actually know each other.  Then there is Cora, a 39 year old nurse from elsewhere in Manila. The third is Prences, 38 who does something or other for the city government.  And the latest find is 36 year old Jhanez who purports to be some kind of “artist” and lives in a part of the Philippines I’ve never heard of.  It’s very early in the vetting process and I’ve only had a video chat with Teri thus far.  There’s a long way to go with all of them and I’m in no particular hurry to get there anyway.  I certainly won’t be making a decision on any of them (and there will certainly be others) until I’ve met them in person.

And that’s the thing.  May is still over 6 months away.  I’m not going to start another relationship until I’m on the ground and settled.  I could conceivably offer someone the opportunity to be my tour guide when I next visit at the end of December.  Teri and Cora have already volunteered to do so but I’ll need to have a lot higher comfort level with anyone I commit to spend my vacation with.  Chemistry indeed!

Meanwhile, here in the 3-D world things are much the same as they have always been. I’ve been trying to get a little Joy (a 49 year old Filipina-American I met who works on base) in my life, but thus far we’ve only connected once for dinner at my place (and she brought her roommate with her).  We do have regular FB messenger chats.  My attempts at courtship are for some reason not being reciprocated.  I expect it could be because my departure from Korea is only 6 months away, so what’s the point?  My counter argument is that we could at least have some fun and companionship in the interim.  I haven’t given up, but I’ll cop to being somewhat frustrated.

I’ve also taken up an English tutoring gig to help my friend Mi Young better her skills so she can get the dental hygienist position she covets at the army base clinic.  It’s mostly just conversation, but I do assign her homework which consists of me picking out a blog post from my archives and requiring her to read it and discuss it with me over coffee. Yeah, I’m a bastard to make her suffer through my blog ramblings. We had a very nice conversation last night and she is showing improvement.  I’m still stuck firmly in the friend zone with her, but honestly I’m very comfortable there.  She is full of wisdom and insights and has really helped me come to terms with this latest heartbreak.  I admire and respect her and would not want to ruin that by trying to pursue a romance (which she has made clear she doesn’t want anyway).  She did give me a peck on the lips when she left last night, so there’s that.

And that’s where things stand.  I’m in no man’s (no woman’s?) land—stuck somewhere between my life in Korea and my coming life in the Philippines.  In the meantime I will practice being patient and learning to be satisfied with this beautiful life I’m living.

Stay tuned!

I can see clearly now Loraine is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day

Oh, yes I can make it now the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is that rainbow I’ve been praying for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day

 

 

Welcome to the Friend Zone

So, a Korean friend sent me this in messenger. Even personalized it. Yeah, I got the message.

friend zone

noun

informal
  1. a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other.
    “I always wind up in the friend zone, watching them pursue other guys”

Lord knows over the course of a lifetime I’ve both been locked up in friend zone jail and done the incarceration.  I understand the frustration and disappointment that goes along with unrequited emotional attachments.  But, there are worse things.  Honestly speaking, in this case it was almost a relief.  I’ve been down that road too many times to think it will lead to anywhere other than a dead end.

I’m not going to love or be loved, notwithstanding the occasional weak moment of temptation.   The fact of the matter is that I do get lonely and I do crave companionship. And yes, I wouldn’t mind getting laid now and then.  Friends with benefits would work just fine, but alas there are no prospects on the horizon.

Seven months left in Korea.  Ten days until my next visit to the Philippines.  I’ll get by I reckon.

In other news, these three stories were listed in order on Drudge yesterday:

Walking to work staves off death.  Okay, I do that just about everyday.  I should be good to go, but…

Loneliness is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.  Good thing I’m into vaping now!

And finally the secret to happiness is revealed: Sex and Sleep are the keys to happiness.  Well damn, I’m so horny I can’t sleep.  I’m not happy about that.  I’d say I’m screwed but I’m not.

At least I have the friend zone.

I hope the day will be a lighter highway
For friends are found on every road
Can you ever think of any better way
For the lost and weary travelers to go?

Making friends for the world to see
Let the people know you got what you need
With a friend at hand you will see the light
If your friends are there, then everything’s all right

 

I walk the line

Walking home from the office today:

Sorry, but I walk alone.

And courtesy of Facebook, me two years ago today:

Lost some weight, lost the ‘stache, and lost the wife that gave me the ring. But life goes on…

And yeah, this is me too:

Damn, I hate when that happens…

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine, I keep my eyes wide open all the time…