I’m not sure what’s going on. All the other manifestations of my recent illness have receded except for this lack of energy–the old “my get up and go, got up and went” saw. Well, I’m still having mushy brain syndrome, an example of which is my fingers don’t push the keyboard letters in the order my mind tells them to. My nasal sinuses, which have been clogged for months, are finally beginning to open up–I’d say maybe as much as 50%. That makes breathing more convenient, but I’m also regaining my sense of smell. That’s not always good. And I have no idea what this is related to, if anything, but all of a sudden, Coke Zero doesn’t taste good to me anymore. Weird times.

Yesterday afternoon I headed into town, but I was surprised by my own lack of enthusiasm for doing so. Well, the rain dampened my mood, but it was more than that; I just wasn’t feeling it. I went anyway because I wanted to drop into Alaska Club and wish owner Jerry a happy birthday. I arrived before they opened, so I kept walking until I reached IDM. There were people I knew to meet and greet, and once I settled in, my negativity evaporated. I had three drinks (the way I mix them, it is water with a splash of gin) and headed for Alaska.

I wished Jerry a happy birthday and bought him a beer, and ponied up to a table. A few more dancers than usual, and one them kept giving me an “I know you” look. I looked back and shrugged, and she was like, “C’mon!”. This pantomime continued for several minutes until I finally called her down for a drink. She did look vaguely familiar, but I had no idea why. Turns out she used to work at IDM and would sometimes drink with my crush Roan and me. Waitresses come and go constantly there, and honestly, while I remembered her, she didn’t stand out in my mind.

We had a nice chat, and she could hold her own in the witty repartee exchange. She is not the cutest girl around by a long shot, but she has a pretty hot body. Especially when you consider that she’s pumped out SIX babies! Mind-boggling.

Jerry had a nice buffet brought in. He blew out some candles, we sang him a song, and chowed down. I finished my third drink and said my goodnights. I did achieve my daily step goal (15,000), so I took that as a good sign. Was in bed before 8:30 and woke up refreshed and ready for action after an 8-hour sleep. Or so I had hoped.

I couldn’t even make it through my morning internet ritual before I felt the need to lie down and rest my weary head. Thirty minutes later, I was back at it until the urge to put my head on a pillow overwhelmed me once again. I did get up to feed and walk the dogs, and I had grand plans to push myself on my morning hike in preparation for tomorrow’s Hash. Then it started raining, and I knew the walk I had in mind wasn’t happening. I did have an alternative plan, and it involved sleeping some more. Maybe that’s why I’m so tired?

So, that’s where things stand. I’ll do a neighborhood stroll this afternoon before I head into Barretto. I hope I turn the corner tomorrow and can do the Hash. I’ll play it by ear, but I’m sure I can find an alternative route if the trail is too tough for my weak old body. I’ll be glad to put this behind me. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

This illness has certainly been a roller coaster ride thus far. Yesterday afternoon, my thermometer said my temp was close to normal. But when I woke up this morning, my temperature was 39.1, higher than ever. I woke up from my nap just now, and I’m back in the normal zone again.

What gives me the confidence I’m truly getting better is that the body aches are gone, and I’m not feeling dizzy and lethargic anymore. I still think this is a minor case of Covid. I considered having a test done by my new doctor, but now that I’m feeling better, I’m not going to bother with it.

Haven’t been out of the house for two days now, so I don’t really have anything else I can write about. Hopefully, I’ll be able to escape for a while tomorrow.

But the symptoms I’ve experienced this morning are eerily similar to those I had when I caught the COVID last year. The first thing I noticed was feeling cold–I was actually shivering. I don’t run the aircon in my room, but I did have the ceiling fan and a floor fan blowing the air around. I turned those off and put on a second shirt. I felt dizzy walking into the living room, so I sat down and grabbed my thermometer–38.6 degrees–that’s in the fever zone. I went back to bed and tried to sleep it off but didn’t have much luck with that. In addition to the shivers and fever, I have no energy and feel completely lethargic. Whatever this is has hit me hard.

My helper, who is actually a certified caregiver, has been plying me with tea and feeding me various pills. I stayed in bed until noon, and now I’m sitting at my desk writing this post. I guess the drugs might be working because I just took my temperature again, and it is down to 37.6. Maybe it’s not COVID after all.

I was fine last night, maybe slightly inebriated at the end of my bar crawl, but that’s not unusual.

As I was sitting there enjoying my drink, I got a message from a restaurant waitress I’m acquainted with saying it was her birthday and she didn’t have a cake. She’s the sister of a friend’s girlfriend, and she said he had told her to contact me to buy a cake because he is currently out of the country. Yeah, it seemed a little shady, but on the other hand, I don’t mind helping to make someone’s day special. So, I left Hideaway and bought a cake at the local Goldilocks store. Got some ice cream to go with it too.

When I dropped it off, I got a weird vibe and not much of a thank you, either. It was a little off-putting, but I kept my word, and hopefully, she enjoyed the cake. Next year she’ll be on her own, however.

My next stop was Wet Spot, and of course, Aine was there to greet me.

I’m not sure what I said or did, but I somehow managed to piss her off. I’d just bought her another lady drink, and the next thing I know, she walked away from my table. I went to the CR, and when I passed the stage, she was up there dancing. Very weird. I paid my tab and left. I think I will find me a new favorite next time I’m in Wet Spot.

I made Queen Victoria my last stop of the night. Had a free drink coupon to use and then stayed for another. It was all pretty hazy at that point, but I made it home alive.

I did have some success on my grocery shopping excursion to the Royal supermarket. Fresh milk was back in stock, and for the first time in about six months, they had cream cheese frosting available. There is going to be a carrot cake in the near future.

Alright, I somehow managed to sit here and do this post without collapsing. Actually, with the fever down, I’m not feeling the waves of dizziness. I think I’m getting my energy level up a notch or two as well. Not nearly as lethargic as I was this morning. Maybe I’ll be “normal” again tomorrow. Or as normal as I get, anyway.

Having crispy crittered my lunch, I started my evening out in search of food. John’s place being on the other side of town, had the added benefit of getting in some extra steps (I wound up with 17,852/13.72K on the day). John has updated his menu to include his various steak selections:

I went with one of my favorites instead:

After my meal, I began a mini-bar crawl at Hideaway. I didn’t come prepared to provide any treats for the gals like I usually do, but then the Belgian chocolate guy showed up, so I bought some of his wares for the girls to enjoy.

My next stop was Sloppy Joe’s, a new bar I still need to review. I was the only customer there to take advantage of their buy one/take one drink special. It’s actually a great deal. Finished the second gin and soda, then moved on up the highway to Johannson’s. Another place I’m going to need to review soon. I was the only person at the bar (there were a couple of diners), but my pal Erik was walking by, so he came in and joined me. We had a little chat with our drinks, and then I got a message from Lydell at Kamto inviting me to buy her drinks join her there. Kamto, here I come! (I made sure I had my wallet in my pocket this time!)

As is my custom, I bought the three waitresses (Lydell, Heidi, and Rose) a drink. A bit later, Roseanne, the bartender at Snackbar who recently gave birth, dropped in. It was good to see her again, so I bought her a drink too. I commented on her weight reduction, and she noted that my belly was still as big as ever. Hey, I’m working on it!

I paid my tab, around 1200 pesos if I recall, and made Outback my last call of the night. I think I had two there and bought lady drinks for Bhel and another waitress. Then I caught the trike back home.

One of the items I purchased on my wasted trip to the S&R superstore was a half gallon of ice cream. Ice cream is not really on my diet, of course, and I’ve refrained from buying it on my previous trips to Royal. But when I saw this, I couldn’t resist.

And that’s the way my last night went down. It’s another SOB Friday, so I’ve got my work cut out for me tonight. See you tomorrow with a full report.

“Like attracts like. Just be who you are, calm and clear and bright. Automatically, as we shine who we are, asking ourselves every minute is this what I really want to do, doing it only when we answer yes, automatically that turns away those who have nothing to learn from who we are, and attracts those who do, and from whom we have to learn, as well.” ― Richard Bach

Thanks for the memories, Facebook. I posted that five years ago, and it hasn’t worked yet. However, Illusions is still one of my all-time favorite books.

Speaking of memories, today is my mother’s birthday.

It was also five years ago that we shut down our office on Yongsan Garrison in Seoul and completed the move to Camp Humphreys in Pyeongtaek.

Here’s one more blast from the past:

I’ve been in a contemplative mood lately. I’m not sure if this is a sign that I’m on the verge of acceptance of the way things are, or maybe it’s a surrender of what I’d hoped for and dreamed about. As empty and as shallow as my life feels sometimes, it is really not as bad as all that. I’ve had recent opportunities to dive back into a relationship, and I’ve balked. Seems it is easier to complain about what you don’t have than to give up the freedom the life I’m currently living brings. I’ll figure it out eventually.

I was playing a random “made for you” playlist on Spotify. And this song I’d never heard before came on and seemed to confirm my thinking.

I've been drifting on the sea of heartbreak
Tryin' to get myself ashore 
For so long, for so long
Listenin' to the strangest stories
Wondering where it all went wrong
For so long, for so long

But hold on hold on hold on 
To what you've got
So hold on hold on hold on 
To what you've got

I've been dreaming of a new tomorrow
And walkin' in the morning sun
For so long, for so long
There's no time for revolution
I've got to be travellin' on
Here so long, for so long

But hold on hold on hold on 
To what you've got
So hold on hold on hold on 
To what you've got

Anyway, it’s all good.

Speaking of good, that’s an apt description of the Wednesday Walkers group hike yesterday. Don’t believe me? Well, the pictures don’t lie:

I keep forgetting things. This just now happened:

Anyway, this is what I woke up to this morning:

I just need to focus more on the good, ignore the bad, and don’t screw the ugly!

Or more accurately, pissed on. I’ll get to that in a minute.

So, these last few weeks, I’ve really been besieged with requests for “loans” and financial assistance. Usually, the amounts requested aren’t that large–fifty bucks, sometimes $100, occasionally more than that. There is almost always an “emergency” involved–electric bill, rent overdue, no food for the kids. I try to be as accommodating as I can, but I also have to consider the source and enforce Rule #1 (don’t be a sucker). These “small” requests add up, and I do have a fixed income and try to live within my budget. In fact, these past couple of months, I have had to dip into my savings account, which I supposedly maintain for my own potential emergencies. This is my long-winded way of saying I need to toughen up and say “no” more often.

Yesterday, I received a message from “Jona” asking for a loan of 3500 pesos to pay her electric bill. She promised to repay me on the 25th when she gets paid. I’ve heard that line before, including from Jona, and in over four years of living here, I’ve only been repaid one time. I believe “loan” is the Tagalog equivalent of “gift.” Anyway, what especially rankled me about Jona’s request was that I almost never hear from her unless she wants something from me. That’s use and abuse, not friendship. I told her, “sorry, no.” I don’t expect I’ll ever hear from her again.

I also heard from Joy, who needed money to buy medicine for her sick child. She had told me earlier that the daughter was running a fever, and she was taking her to the doctor. She sent me a picture of the lab receipt and diagnosis of “blood infection.” Joy had spent all her available money on the doctor and didn’t have funds for the prescription. That’s the kind of request I’m not going to refuse. I gave her the 2000 pesos she needed, and she later sent photos showing her making the purchase at the pharmacy. Begging done right!

I say all of the above, knowing full well that I’m likely to spend more than the total of both requests buying lady drinks in the bars. Well, that’s a form of charity too, I suppose.

Speaking of the bars, I had my work cut out for me maximizing the use of the coupons I had won at the SOB on Friday. I actually started at Blue Butterfly because it was near the ATM, and I was waiting for Joy to claim her medicine money. When that transaction was completed, I moved on to The Green Room, where I had my most valuable coupon–a voucher worth 500 pesos.

I’m not a frequent visitor at The Green Room, preferring Wet Spot next door, so I didn’t know any of the gals working last night. I tried a little flirty humor with my waitress but she was pretty clearly not interested in anything I might have to offer. I also had a 10% discount coupon for Sit-n-Bull for food ordered in the bar. So, I ordered a chef salad and a pizza.

The previous time I was in The Green Room, the girls had been more aggressive in their pursuit of lady drinks. Last night I was still sitting alone when the pizza arrived, so I left it in the box, figuring I’d just carry it with me to the next bar I visited. Then I got a message from my pal Erik asking where I was, so I invited him and his girlfriend to join me for pizza, and they accepted. I was glad I found someone to enjoy the food.

In due course, the waitress advised that I had exhausted the 500 peso voucher (those gin and sodas aren’t cheap, especially the way I drink them). Another friend of Erik’s was at the bar, so they joined him, and I headed next door to Wet Spot.

The night before, when I was there after the SOB with the girls from Snackbar, I had invited my Wet Spot regular, Aine, to join us. She was very unfriendly, guzzled the drink I had bought her, and walked away. When I saw Aine last night, I confronted her about her rude behavior and asked why she had acted that way. “I was jealous.” Oh boy, that’s a red flag.

Anyway, I decided to be forgiving and allowed her to join me at my table. I’m not sure what got into me (well, other than a lot of gin), but before long, I had Aine and three waitresses imbibing at my table with me. That’s usually not my style. And then, I got a message from Lydell inviting me to join them at Kamto. Hoo boy. Well, it was still technically an hour before my bedtime, so I headed on up the street.

And it was a good time, from what I remember. A nice expat crowd, including Erik and his girl, Played some music, had some chats, bought a round of drinks for the ladies, and then I bailed out for home.

Now, I woke up during the night as I usually do, needing to take a pee. And that’s when I noticed, or rather felt, that I already had. Yep, I was sleeping at the wet spot, and not the good kind. It’s been a long time since I’ve pissed the bed. I think the last time it happened, I had dreamed I was standing at the toilet and woke up immediately when the wetness hit. I slept through the event last night.

Fuck, I’m turning into the stereotypical old man, it seems. Let’s hope this was a one-off event and won’t be repeated. What will I do if it does? It Depends. *ahem*

I’m going to treat myself to Sunday dinner at John’s place this evening. I might even go for a steak. Promised Joy I’d come by Hideaway, and it’s Rose’s birthday at Cheap Charlies. Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me again. Oh well, someone has to do it.

Or at least pretending like I am.

One of the girls I know called me “lucky” the other day. I responded that I had worked hard all my life so I could be lucky. But yeah, I understand her point. I don’t have to worry day to day about paying for the essentials. I was blessed to be born in the USA, where you have a better opportunity to improve your circumstances through hard work, determination, and perseverance. And yeah, maybe a little luck along the way too. But I was born poor, well, I guess working class, in an upper-middle-class neighborhood. The kids all made fun of my hand-me-down clothes and the old run-down house we lived in. But it doesn’t matter how you start; it’s where you finish that counts. And here I am, living in paradise like a rich man. I’ll call that a win.

So, when I saw that chart above, I was curious where my full-time employee fit on the income scale: “low income but not poor”. Of course, that is based on salary alone, she also gets free lodging and eats on my dime, so I’d guess that makes her almost middle class. I know now that the salary I’m paying is way above normal for a domestic helper/caregiver. Still, she does good work and has been with me the entire four years I’ve lived here, so she’s worth it.

But as rich as I am, there are some things I just can’t afford. I was perusing the frozen meats at Royal supermarket yesterday and experienced a severe case of sticker shock when I saw this:

The signage says it is beef from Japan. I don’t know anyone who could afford to pay that price, in their right mind or not. And you’d have to be crazy to spend that kind of money for 14 kgs of meat. Something ain’t right. I’ll check again next week to see if they are still there or if the price has been changed.

The women I know all seem to recognize my richness. Another day, another request for emergency funding. At least the story last night was original and mildly interesting. And honestly, 5,000 pesos here and 5000 there do add up. I’ve been exceeding my charity budget these past few months, so I’m going to have to toughen up again and strictly enforce Rule #1 (don’t be a sucker). Wish me luck with that!

Luckily, I’ve got plenty of cash for my other nighttime pursuits, which primarily consist of alcohol consumption. I honestly don’t usually pay attention to the cost of an individual drink. I mean, if a beer is 60 pesos or 80 pesos, it is not that big a deal. But this new gin and soda routine has been shockingly expensive. What I’ve been doing is buying a shot of gin and a can of soda water. That allows me to moderate the strength of the drink and reduce the speed of alcohol consumption. In Blue Butterfly last night, my shot of gin was 90 pesos, and the can of soda water was 120 pesos. That’s more expensive than a lady drink, so I jokingly asked my waitress if I would be receiving a commission on my beverage. All kidding aside though, the difference between paying a buck fifty for a beer and over four dollars for a gin drink adds up pretty quickly. Still, I can afford it, so I’m not really complaining. Much. I do try to keep it in perspective by reminding myself that I was paying around seven bucks for a beer back in Korea. So, it’s all relative.

I met the girl who needed cash at John’s place last night. We shared an order of Korean-style wings. She had beer, and I had gin. When she finished her tale of woe, I told her I’d give her some cash the next day. Then she wanted to join me on my bar hop. I hadn’t been planning on that, and for some reason, it bugged me. I finally relented to the extent that I’d join her at Blue Butterfly, a place where she had previously worked.

When we got there, she was given a warm greeting by all the girls and the manager. I guess she had been a very popular member of the team. We had more drinks, and she asked me to buy one for the manager, and I agreed. I was taken aback again when she told me she wanted to be my girlfriend, and I kept rejecting her. That I seem like a nice guy, but I’m cold-hearted. I didn’t have much to say in response other than it just wasn’t a good time for me.

What’s weird is that she was the third woman this week who strongly suggested interest in being in a relationship with me. And despite my persistent whining here about being lonely, those feelings weren’t mutual. I’m not saying I’ll never give any of them a shot; it is just that something doesn’t feel right for me at this moment in time. Or maybe I’ve just made the transition to a solitary existence, and I’m not willing to give that up. It seems strange, though, and so unlike me.

I told my wannabe girlfriend goodnight and left her at Blue Butterfly with her friends. I had a couple more drinks at Cheap Charlies, then tried a new place up the highway called Sloppy Joe’s. They’ve expanded since my last visit to include indoor tables and several large-screen televisions. I sat outside to watch the world go by instead. They did have a nice buy one/get one promo with your first drink, so I did two for the price of one, then headed to the sanctuary I call home.

My deadline for leaving the country is rapidly approaching, and I will have to decide soon on whether to get jabbed. Stay tuned.

Rained throughout the night and into the morning, but ’tis the season. It didn’t stop me from walking today and won’t prevent me from going out tonight. A rich man has got to live large after all, right?