Sometimes you just have to accept that the darkness won’t go away. Even when it causes you to lose your biggest fan.

So, at 0500 today I get up to pee. Came back to bed and then *pop* off goes the electricity. I looked outside and all the other houses were dark as well. So, that makes it what they call in these parts a “brownout”. Looks just like a blackout though. Given that it began right on the hour I suspect it was a scheduled brownout. Zamelco (Zambales Electric Coop) says they hope to have power restored late this afternoon. Me too!

In the meantime, I’m operating on battery power for the laptop and relying on my phone in mobile hotspot mode to stay connected with the world. I guess that makes me a survivor, right? Anyway, let me take full advantage of this opportunity to share the pain some tidbits from my so-called life with you my faithful readers.

You can’t help everyone or everything here. And you can’t let that fact overwhelm or discourage you. There are so many in need. All you can do is your best to make things a little better for some. This little guy above was wearing a collar, so I presume he has (or had) an owner. For all the good it did him. He’s obviously not eating right and has lost all his fur to those mites that seem to infest so many neglected dogs around here. I’ve got Buddy and Lucky and that’s all I can handle now. There are two strays that I give scraps to occasionally, it doesn’t make a difference overall, but they seem to appreciate it regardless. I work hard at not letting this shit depress me.

So, let’s take a humor break here, shall we?

Okay, that’s better. What else have I got? Well, this is an “only in the Philippines” kind of thing I think:

The police department responsible for the above said they were attempting to avoid the “victim shaming” paradigm and speak directly to potential rapists. I’d deem it a major fail and at least one women’s organization here called them out for it. I’m still shaking my head.

In more current news, I decided to cook a big dinner yesterday. It had been quite a while since I bothered with firing up the grill. And since I still had leftover fixin’s this was going to be a special occasion I decided to make a batch of Aunt Pat’s Recipe World Famous Fruit Salad.

What did I throw on the grill?

I’d sprinkled on some meat tenderizer and let them marinade in an herb and garlic sauce for two days prior to cooking them up. Also on the menu was a baked potato, some mixed veggies, garlic bread, and the aforementioned fruit salad.

And then I went out for some beers at Cheap Charlies and avoided any bargirl drama. On the way back home I helped a beggar out and bought some treats to share with the stray dogs. Making a little difference, one step at a time.

Maybe I’m feeling better. My sleep score was 75 last night (it was in the 50s last week). And even though I’m powerless right now, I do have a song to keep me in the right frame of mind:

Now some they do and some they don’t
And some you just can’t tell
And some they will and some they won’t
With some it’s just as well

You can laugh at my behaviour
And that’ll never bother me
Say the devil is my saviour
But I don’t pay no heed

And I will go on shining
Shining like brand new
I’ll never look behind me
My troubles will be few

Goodbye, stranger, it’s been nice
Hope you find your paradise
Tried to see your point of view
Hope your dreams will all come true
Goodbye, Mary, goodbye, Jane
Will we ever meet again?
Feel no sorrow, feel no shame
Come tomorrow, feel no pain

Sweet devotion (Goodbye, Mary)
It’s not for me (Goodbye, Jane)
Just give me motion (Will we ever)
To set me free (Meet again?)
In the land and the ocean (Feel no sorrow)
Far away (Feel no shame)
It’s the life I’ve chosen (Come tomorrow)
Every day (Feel no pain)

Today I decided not to do something. Later on I didn’t do something else. Tomorrow I may not do one of a selection of other things.

Ah, the freedom to not do whatever you want that is implicit in retired life! But yesterday I did decide to do some things and now I’ve decided to write about them. I apologize in advance, but you are here anyway, so why not fill the time?

The day started in typical fashion, up before the sun. Grab a cup of coffee and plop down at the desk to see what is going on in the rest of the world. In my email was a message from Kevin Kim passing along some helpful advice on both preventing and dealing with a home invasion. Good stuff and worth sharing here:

In one of those quirky coincidences I also came across this “security advice” I’d posted on Facebook several years ago:

On a more serious note, also in my email was a message from DoD Human Resources asking me to provide an affidavit for an EEO investigation currently being conducted. No, it’s not about me, just something I may have witnessed. And due to confidentially requirements, that’s about all I can say. So I spent some time completing that paperwork. I’m hoping my printer/scanner is working as I need to sign and send it back by Monday.

Back to Facebook, which wanted to remind me of this event in my life:

Did my usual internet trolling around and kind of liked this:

Scott from the Hash (also an early riser) messaged me about sponsoring a hole for an upcoming VFW fundraising event. I of course agreed. This is what my banner will look like on my hole. (That sounds a little sick, doesn’t it?)

Ányway, enough of the internet. Time to feed and walk the dogs. With that chore out of the way, I enjoyed a bowl of cereal and some bacon for breakfast. Afterward, I loaded some pork chops into the slow cooker, seasoned them up, slathered them in cream of mushroom soup, then poured on some ranch dressing. Set the timer for low and let dinner cook itself for the rest of the day.

It being Tuesday meant it was grocery shopping day. My driver arrived in due course and I successfully (with the assistance of my two helpers) restocked the larders. Just about the time I arrived back home I remembered I needed to get my final rabies shot. Damn it, we had driven right past the hospital on base coming back from the grocery store. Ah well, I’d just go later in the afternoon.

Took a nap, wrote about Monday’s Hash on the blog, then hit the streets. I’m giving myself a breather on the 20,000+ step goal for now. Still, I want to do as much as my tired old lungs are comfortable with. I wound up walking to the other end of Barretto (about 2K) and catching a Jeepney back to the old Navy base from there.

A short walk to Baypointe Hospital and went through this procedure for what I hope is the final time:

1. Upstairs to the Outpatient Center. A few minutes in line, then hand my shot record to the nurse. She then has me take a seat in the waiting area.
2. After a while, she hands me three pieces of paper–one for the pharmacy, one for the supply center, and one for the cashier. I’m an old hand at this now so I knew the proper order in which to visit.
3. Pharmacy (downstairs and end of the hall) pulls the meds, annotates my paper, tells me to pay cashier and return.
4. Supply (halfway up the hall and off to the left near the emergency room) pulls the hypodermic needle, annotates my paper, and sends me to the cashier.
5. Cashier (near the stairs back up to Outpatient) thankfully has no line. Processes my paperwork and asks for P2100 (about $42). I pay and get annotated receipts.
6. Back to pharmacy to pick up the now paid for meds.
7. Back to supply to pick up the now paid for needle.
8. Back upstairs to Outpatient and hand the nurse the stuff and the receipts.
9. Nurse takes me to a treatment room, stabs me in the arm, and sends me on my way.
10. Me, walking out with a smile and shaking my head at the wonder of it all here in the Philippines.

Hoof it back to the highway and catch a Jeepney bound for Barretto. It’s a bit after 4:00 p.m. at this point so I have the driver drop me off at Arizona with a hearty shout of “para po!” (stop here, please). Let the drinking commence!

Well, naturally I went out to the Arizona floating bar. Who wouldn’t?

Speaking of the view, I didn’t see my favorite bargirl, Jovie, on board. Oh well, I generously let my waitress have a refreshing drink on my tab instead. After a bit, Jovie and Susan, another gal I met at Queen Victoria, came aboard. And of course, they joined me at my table and naturally, I bought a round of drinks. It seems yesterday was Susan’s birthday and I hadn’t been there to help her celebrate. The implication being that more drinks were in order. What’s a man to do? Accommodate of course! I did have the good sense to bill out (as paying the tab is called here) and catch the raft back to shore. How much did all that fun cost? Just under $40, including tip. And that makes me a big spender. I love this country!

Heading back up the highway towards home I passed Roseanne, who “runs” Queen Victoria, on the street. She asked me where I’d been and I said the Arizona floater, and kept on walking. I had high hopes that Queen Victoria would live up to its potential but alas, it was not to be. Roseanne is a big part of the problem. She is very cute and pretty sweet but otherwise clueless. Her boyfriend owns the bar, but he’s back in the UK. He’d hired Fei, a Hash friend, to manage the place in his absence and she was making some progress in making the bar viable. But apparently, Roseanne didn’t like not being the top dog and ran Fei off. Now, why is any of that my business? It’s not, my business as a customer is drinking beer. And I was a pretty regular customer for Queen Victoria. Last Thursday night they ran out of my preferred beverage, San Miguel Zero (a low carb, low alcohol blend). I popped in Friday night and they were still out, so I went somewhere else. When I came back Saturday and they still had zero Zero, I asked what the problem was and Roseanne just shrugged and said “out of stock”. I told her that was bullshit, every other bar in town has it. And made a point of saying I’d be going to one of those other bars from now on.

And so I have. Apparently, without Fei around no one can be bothered to order supplies. Oh, at the Hash on Monday I asked the Secretary if we’d be going back to Queen Victoria for our on-home. He said we were scheduled to go back next month. I told him good luck without Fei there. He was surprised by that news and said, nope we won’t be back in that case.

Anyway, as I passed by Cheap Charlies I decided to head on up for some more liquid refreshment. I got a good seat with the highway view I prefer and ordered up. Maya, one of my longtime favorites, came over and said she was sorry again. I told her there was nothing to be sorry about, I was just done with buying her drinks. Shocking? Well, you know I understand how it all works. The girls are good at making you feel special, but in reality, you are just another customer. I get that. But I’ve known Maya for over a year and have gotten to feel somewhat close to her. Even helped her out once financially (a very small amount) and we are Facebook friends, for whatever that’s worth. It’s not worth much apparently.

I’m in the bar alone on New Year’s Eve. That’s kind of depressing. The place was packed and the girls were all busy with customers. That’s fine by me, I’m very content having someone else pay for drinks. A couple of my regulars came by to greet me, which I appreciated. Just before I was finishing my last beer, Lovely came and sat with me which was sweet of her. I asked if Maya was off and got a funny look, and she nodded towards the bar. Where Maya was sitting directly behind me. I turned around and Maya just shrugged. So. At that moment I realized what a farce our “friendship” had been. No greeting, no Happy New Year, no nothing. I wasn’t mad or anything, I just felt like a sucker. Hurt my feelings a little too.

So, I’m just not playing the game with her anymore. No big deal. No hard feelings, in fact, no feelings towards her whatsoever. She needs to up her game to keep guys like me on the hook.

Do those last two stories make me seem petty and mean? I hope not. I’m all about having a good time. And when something spoils my good time (no Zero or no kindness) I look for a good time elsewhere. It’s that simple.

But back to last night at Cheap Charlies. I wasn’t buying lady drinks, but I did see Rica, an old friend from dart league on the other side of the bar and I gave her a wave. She came over and joined me and brought her friend along. Her friend was Heidi. Wow! I wrote about her just one year ago. One of those rare women who just trip my triggers on a first meeting. I had high hopes but alas, they were dashed as those feelings were not mutual.

So, it’s not like I wasn’t aware of what Heidi had been up to, at least peripherally. You see not long after my hopes were crushed I heard through the rumor mill that she was dating Graham, the owner of Cheap Charlies. Of course, I thought of her after hearing about Graham’s massive stroke. By all accounts she was a devoted angel, staying right by his side during his hospitalization. Just confirmed what my instincts back when I met her had told me. She’s a good woman. Well, Graham is back in Scotland now and I don’t think anyone expects he’ll be back. I offered to buy Heidi a beer last night but she politely declined. In an odd quirk, I saw her again this morning when I was walking Baloy Beach. She smiled and hurried on her way. Oh well, I wish her nothing but the best of course.

That was enough of Cheap Charlies for one night. Caught a trike and headed on home. Cooked up some Brussel sprouts and toasted some garlic bread to go with my mushroom pork chops. They were as tender as can be and quite tasty. Some rocky road ice cream for dessert and in bed by 9:00 p.m.

And that’s how I was filling in time yesterday. I know I apologized in advance, but after re-reading this, I should probably say sorry again. I’ve often thought the primary value of this blog is reassuring readers that life could always be worse! I’m not complaining though, I’m doing what I please even if it doesn’t always please me!

When I have ceased to break my wings
Against the faultiness of things,
And learned that compromises wait
Behind each hardly opened gate,
When I have looked Life in the eyes,
Grown calm and very coldly wise,
Life will have given me the Truth,
And taken in exchange–my youth.
–Sara Teasdale

Survived another Hash which these days isn’t necessarily a foregone conclusion. The run was way out in Calapadayan and Leech My Nuggets was the Hare. That could have been an especially bad combination. I was on the fence about doing the trail but in the end decided “fuck it, let’s go”.

The trail itself was almost moderate by Leech standards. There was a long and steady climb up, but it was only somewhat steep in places. The trail itself was not too long, only 5K or so. I did alright on the flats and downhill portions but was panting like a dog in heat all the way up. And moving almost painfully slow, even by my standards. Still, a couple of the older guys were struggling too so I wasn’t alone on the mountain which gave me some confidence or at least reassurance that I wouldn’t be dying alone up there.

After our after-Hash rituals, I took a Jeepney ride back to Barretto and called it an early night. I was exhausted. Not too exhausted to wake up a 0300 for a coughing fit though.

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
And I’m still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I’m still standing. Yeah, yeah, yeah
I’m still standing. Yeah, yeah, yeah

UPDATE: Well, I’ve been doing better at not recycling post titles, but I see I used “I’m still standing” way back in February 2019. That was about an earthquake though.

Last night was certainly nothing to write home about. That won’t stop me though. Sorry in advance! A rather typical night in most respects, but in that way at least, it is illustrative of how most of my nights in these parts go. And there’s nothing wrong with that, I’m living big and easy and I’ve got the beer belly to prove it.

So, this is the high season. Which means our little town is brimming with tourists and other part-time interlopers. The residual impact is mostly about bigger crowds in the popular hangouts and the inevitable deterioration in service standards by overwhelmed staff. I’m pretty much philosophical about it though, these guys (and they are indeed primarily guys) probably keep a lot of places in business–the expat community is I suspect too small to support the profit margins of so many businesses in low season. High season pays the bills so I can enjoy year-round entertainment. Fair is fair.

Anyway, I started my evening at the Arizona floating bar a little after 5:00 p.m. I had forgone my normal afternoon walk in a concession to my overwrought lungs, so walking to the far side of Barretto to drink generated some extra steps. I came in at 19,000 for the day, which isn’t bad considering. I do enjoy sitting on the water and watching the sun go down as I drink. Certainly worth the walk!

The bar was pretty crowded, a large and raucous “private” party going on upstairs, and a couple of “two-week millionaires” spending big money on the ladies downstairs. Hey, if these guys are buying drinks for the girls that suits me just fine–I don’t have to deal with lady drink pressure. The only real downside is that all the girls seemed to be otherwise occupied so I had to get up and go to the bar to fetch my own refills. Ah well, no big deal.

After several cold ones, I decided to make way back to shore and see about getting some food in my belly. I really like the Arizona Resort restaurant, but it was packed. I knew the food would be slow coming out of the kitchen so I moved on down the highway. As I passed by T-Rose bar I figured I’d pop in for a quick one and see what was going on. It had been quite some time since my last visit. Basically, there was nothing going on. One other customer and he left soon after I arrived. Bored bargirls playing pool with each other was the only entertainment on offer. A couple of cuties though. I bought one gal a drink out of sympathy as much as anything, finished my beer, and headed back out.

I decided to eat at Sit-n-Bull, my overall favorite restaurant in town. They have a good regular menu and usually some interesting daily specials at reasonable prices. Service is generally outstanding as well, and I’m spoiled by being a regular customer and welcomed by name. Not so much last night though. They were also packed, although I managed to get a seat at my regular outside table. I called out for a menu and one was dropped unceremoniously on the table and the waitress hurried off without taking my drink order. Not a good sign! After waiting a bit I called another waitress out and asked her if things were as busy as they appeared. She gave me a look and admitted the kitchen was “backed up”. I thanked her for her honesty and told her I would find somewhere else tonight.

I wound up at Mango’s and was pleased to see Rhel, my favorite waitress that I secretly crush on, working. As she was leading me to a table another customer called her over to complain about the seafood chowder. I’d had a bowl of that on my previous visit and it was quite tasty. This customer claimed he had found pork in the chowder. I guess that offended his Muslim sensitivities. I was just wondering how he knew what pork tasted like. I don’t recall there being pork in mine. Oh well, while Rhel was busy taking care of him, another waitress took my order. I got my usual grilled pork chop platter, they are always damned good. When they arrived I warned my waitress that there’d better not be any pork in them. That earned me a nervous smile.

My bill totaled P1100 (I had a calamari appetizer and some beers) so I gave the waitress P1500. I was very surprised to see I had 900 pesos in change, so I called her over and said: “my change isn’t correct”. She got a worried look on her face and said: “you gave me P2000”. I told her, no I didn’t, I gave you 1500. She was so surprised! Either at her mistake or by my honesty. She thanked me and said I had saved her from being short. Well, I know some guys who figure they get short-changed a lot and when it goes the other way, that’s just karma at work. I don’t buy into that thinking and I’m certainly not going to steal 500 pesos, which is more than a day’s wages, from some hardworking waitress. Still, her gratitude and the approving look I got from Rhel on the way out made me feel good.

I made Queen Victoria my last stop on the way home. This bar is relatively new and has some real potential. Sadly, that potential is not being realized. The absentee owner has left his 20-year-old girlfriend in charge. She’s a hottie but doesn’t have a clue about running a business. I’m not sure what’s going on behind the scenes. They had hired a Filipina to manage the place and she was making some good progress at getting a regular crowd in the bar. Pool league, dart tourneys, and live bands. She’s also a Hasher and we had a Hash “on-home” there a couple of weeks ago. Now, I hear she’s no longer working there. And last night it seemed like I was in a Filipino bar (not that there is anything wrong with that) as I was the only foreigner customer. A very different vibe than I’m used to and one that doesn’t bode well for the Queen’s future I fear. Anyway, the beers were cold and then I stumbled on home.

Had a bowl of ice cream, did my nebulizer, hit the bed and slept soundly. Until 0300 when I was awakened by another coughing fit. This is getting so tiresome. Literally. I’m going to get through the weekend and reassess my options come Monday. I have my domestic helper searching out a pulmonary specialist for a possible consultation.

And that dear readers is how my night went here in paradise.

Started the new year off with a little camping adventure. Well, it was a hike and a cookout, but it felt like camping. I even took a nap.

The trail was all uphill until I reached my limit and turned around. After that, it was all downhill. Funny how that works. My lungs were screaming for air and I was moving much slower than usual. I sincerely hope that this is not my new normal. I *think* I’m making progress day by day, but it’s getting to be a real pain in the ass. I really have to fight the urge to just wuss out and lay around the house. Oh well, I’ve got some pictures to share:

Notwithstanding my health issues, it was a good day. Certainly the longest hike I’ve taken all year!

How about some unrelated humor I encountered on the internet today?

And there you have today’s report from the Philippines.

Everything is 2020.

Yeah, that joke is already a cliche. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, damn it, and I ain’t gonna miss out!

Anyway, I spent the last hours of 2019 doing what I do best–drinking copious amounts of San Miguel Zero. I started out on the Arizona floating bar where I captured the last sunset of the old year.

I hit a few other bars on the way back home, but no surprise I didn’t make it to midnight. That’s okay, I was awakened by the explosions that occurred with the commencement of the new year. They don’t use firecrackers around here apparently. Whatever they were setting off sounded like bombs. Ha! Can’t put rice on the table, but fireworks? No problem!

This morning I’m going to do a Sausage Walkers hike to kick off the year. And this is one where we are traveling out to the boondocks and we’ll do our thing and then grill some sausages over an open flame. Rumor has it there’s gonna be beer too! I’ll try and get some pictures.