Giving thanks

Posted on 25/November/2016 by John McCrarey

I like Thanksgiving. The food of course. But also the whole concept of stepping back and recognizing that blessings abound and most of us can truthfully find something in our lives worthy of giving thanks.

My life has certainly not turned out the way I envisioned. Last year I celebrated the holiday surrounded by my kids and grandchildren and with my wife comfortably by my side. This year I face an uncertain future, but one that appears more and more likely to feature a solitary existence. And yes, that is my choice. Oddly enough, I feel optimistic that I will discover a way to find happiness as I leave the past behind and explore new adventures and opportunities. I’m thankful for that.

I shared this Thanksgiving with my nephew, a co-worker, and some of my “bar family” from Shenanigans.

We enjoyed turkey…

…and the traditional sides: corn, mashed potatoes and gravy, dressing, green been casserole, candied yams, fruit salad, and dinner rolls…

Pecan pie and a pumpkin pie for dessert… Oh, and beer and wine of course.

Put it all together and it looked something like this…

Put us all together and we looked something like this. (excepting Choonae who took the photo).

Asia was well represented at our feast, left to right we have Sonya (Mongolia), Qian (China), and Choonae (Korea).

Speaking of Choonae, she was thankful for having published her travel guide to Cuba. I made sure each of my guest had a copy of their very own. Signed by the author of course!

Speaking of Choonae, she was thankful for having published her travel guide to Cuba. I made sure each of my guests had a copy of their very own. Signed by the author of course!

It was a good day with good food and good friends. I’m thankful for that!

One thing I am not thankful for is this damn cough which continues to bedevil me in the wee hours of the morning. This afternoon I returned to Soonchunhwang hospital’s International Clinic to see if they could fix what’s broken. I didn’t have an appointment. The hilarious Dr. Yoo was gone for the day, Dr. Joe was not working, but the lovely Dr. Kim, Sun Hee was available to ~~feed my fantasies~~ assist me. Prettiest doctor I ever did see, and the first time I’ve been treated by a doc in a short skirt. Yeah, I’m pathetic I know. Regardless, she agreed with me that three weeks was too long to be coughing. She took my temperature (no fever) and listened to my lungs. Then she said “let’s get a chest x-ray”. I bit my tongue and as it turns out, I was the only one getting my chest examined. We reviewed the results together however. She had pulled up an earlier x-ray and compared it with today’s. She said the expanded areas of white on the screen were indicative of infection. She told me she’d prescribe some medication and if I wasn’t better in a week, I should come see her again. Talk about conflicting motivations!

I didn't say no to these drugs. Hope the work this time!

I didn’t say no to these drugs. Hope they work this time!

I’m still in a low energy mode as well, which is reflected in my pathetic step counts. My nephew beat me for the first time ever last week and I’m not happy about that. I’m hoping to get back into the program soon. Maybe even tomorrow. We’ll see.

MOFA SOFA

Posted on 22/November/2016 by John McCrarey

Today was a little bit out of the ordinary. I attended the Joint Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA) Committee meeting at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MOFA).

I didn’t want to look like a rube in front of all the brass and big shots by taking tourist pics, but I did sneak this one in…

And I fed my hungry ego with this one…

I’m the co-chair of the Labor Subcommittee, but I was glad none of our issues were deemed worthy enough to require my active participation in the discussions, although a couple were mentioned. Obviously I can’t talk about anything that took place, but it was fascinating to watch the Alliance working through issues of mutual concern. This is the 50th anniversary of the SOFA and despite language, cultural, and political barriers the ROK/USA partnership marches on. Katchi Kapshida!

My biggest fear was I’d go into one of my coughing jags during the meeting, but good fortune was with me today. I’ve been mostly cough free since an early morning bout so maybe I’ve turned the corner. If not, I’ll go back to the doc on Friday.

Tomorrow my office will have an “organization day” during which we will enjoy a traditional Thanksgiving feast hosted by my Deputy.

I’m contributing a sweet potato pie and a pecan pie…

And it ain’t Thanksgiving without my Aunt Pat’s recipe World Famous Fruit Salad…

I made a little extra for me.

And that was my Tuesday.

It’s not so easy to be hard

Posted on 21/November/2016 by John McCrarey

Sunday sucked. An emotionally exhausting day full of drama and sorrow. And that’s before I succumbed to another bout with hacking coughs.

And yet another fit of the coughs this evening, this one starting after work when I popped into Shenanigans for some liquid refreshment. How bad was it? One drink and out bad. And if you know me, that says a lot.

Today was the last day of my prescription medicine which the doc thought ought to clear up the source of the cough. Apparently not.

I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens next.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByWVI-5xXgs

Sick and tired…

Posted on 15/November/2016 by John McCrarey

…of being sick and tired.

Had to take the day off work today because I have a cough. I’ve actually had the cough for over a week now. It wouldn’t be a problem except that I have coughing fits during the night. Hacking coughs that are almost painful and result in mucous saturated tissues piled on the floor next the bed. Last night’s commenced at 0100 and lasted until I apparently passed into a fitful state of sleep sometime after 0230. Then I woke up again at 0400 to a case of diarrhea that had me in and out of bed until the alarm rang at six. I just couldn’t answer the bell.

I didn’t leave the house today although I had intended to see if I could get in to see the hilarious Dr. Yu. I mean, it is just a cough right? I have a tickle in the throat, but the cough seems to originate from deep in my chest. When I lay on my back I can hear myself wheeze. I didn’t experience any coughing fits today except when I laid down for a nap. So apparently being horizontal exacerbates whatever the fuck is wrong with me. Ah well, this too shall pass. Or I will.

My new best friend. On my second bottle. 12 bucks at the PX. I suppose it is better than nothing.

Whether it is related to the cough condition or not I don’t know, but I have also been extremely lethargic of late. Totally unmotivated, lacking in energy, and just feeling plain ass tired. As a consequence my step count has dropped significantly and my willpower to avoid eating unhealthy is diminished. Not a good combination! Hopefully I will rediscover my motivation soon.

In other news, we had our last match of the regular dart league season last night. Sadly, we did not accomplish our goal of going undefeated, losing to Sin Bin 14-13. It came down to the last leg of the night, I had a the winning dart in my hand, but failed to execute. Sorry Bridget. Well, we still finished first for the season so there’s that.

What the Bulls?

I didn’t do shit on Sunday. On Saturday I ventured down to Songtan to participate in the dart tourney. Mostly I just needed to get out of town and change my perspective.

Tom , Mike and his wife Eve also made the trip.

Tom along with Mike and his wife Eve also made the trip.

And it proved to be a pretty successful evening at darts for the Seoul contingent.

After darts we hit the street for some street food, which is the generally the best place to find it.

I went with my old standby chicken-on-a-stick.

The night being younger than I am, I was enticed by the other members of our cadre to join them at a local Filipino oriented nightclub which was conveniently located in the basement of my hotel.

The band was good and I was drunk. A combination that resulted in me dancing. Such as it were.

Friday was a holiday and once again my lazy ass didn’t do shit. I barely got 10,000 steps in. That may have been due in part to the fact that I stayed out way too late on Thursday night, arriving home in the wee hours of Friday morning in a state of intoxication.

Work is work. And I’m doing my best to avoid letting the stress get to me. Hopefully it gets better soon.

A rare photo capturing government in action. You saw it here first!

It was pretty cool to find myself featured in the latest edition of the Darts Thailand newsletter.

Our group of competitors in Bangkok.

I was honored to be named MVP and don the cap!

What else?

While I’m still a big fan of Korea, I’m growing increasingly aware that my time here is winding down. Well, things change. Including my mind. So, we’ll see what happens. Maybe I’ll like Pyeongtaek. And it would certainly be more affordable for a pensioner than Seoul…

But in the meantime I’ll continue to follow the yellow brick road and see where it takes me.

Assuming I get off my lazy ass and start walking again.

Playing the Trump card

Posted on 12/November/2016 by John McCrarey

It has certainly been fascinating watching the reaction to the Trump election victory, especially on social media. The overwrought expressions of hatred, name calling, and outright violence is precisely the reason Trump was elected president.

I was personally not surprised by the election results. When in the last few days of the campaign the polls indicated a close race, I knew there would be a large number of Trump supporters staying safely under the radar. Can you blame them?

I pretty much disengaged from the political discussions over the course of the election season. Once the party nominations were decided I said we get to choose between a crook and a clown. In that scenario, I’ll take the clown every time. I know what I’m getting from the crook, but a clown is always full of surprises. Hopefully, most of them will be good surprises. We’ll see.

So, why did Trump win? You can find far better analysis from folks a lot smarter than me all over the internet. What I can tell you is where I was coming from and also what I am not. I’d wager a lot of voters held similar views.

To begin, it will come as no surprise to regular readers that I tend to lean right. I’m certainly more libertarian in my world view than I am conservative. I believe the less government the better. I believe our political establishment is corrupt and is more interested in cronyism than in addressing the real issues that the majority of Americans are concerned about. Republicans are every bit as guilty in that regard as Democrats. I think this election represented a big “fuck you!” to the powers that be, and I’m so very happy to join in that chorus.

I’m also a white male. That does not make me racist, misogynist, homophobic, a xenophobe, or any of the other epithets that are hurled about whenever I have the audacity to disagree with the viewpoints of my progressive “betters”. I will not be told “to check my privilege” in an effort to shame me into silence. Maybe I’m old school, but making judgments based on the color of a persons skin is how I define racism. And by that definition, far too many folks on the left are every bit as racist as the KKK. I expect Trump got the vote of people like me who are sick and tired of being “othered”.

Of course, post-election the name calling from the left continues unabated. Their unwillingness to step back for some honest introspection does not speak well for the future of the progressive movement or the unity of the American people. At least one of my left-leaning Facebook friends [edit: turns out it is the son of my FB friend], Frank Jacquette, gets it:

Months and months ago, when the Republican primary was still a ten-person clown car and Trump was just starting to get some traction, I became worried that he had a serious chance of winning it all. What the DNC never seemed to understand is that people weren’t voting for Trump the Candidate, they were voting for Trump because he was the living embodiment of an idea. The idea was simple: “the system is broken, so let’s blow It up.” Competing on the strength of Hillary’s resume was never a winning strategy, because it couldn’t compete with the Idea. That’s why Trump’s personal flaws and insane attempts at policy never mattered. Bernie’s supporters bought into a more genteel version of the same Idea, so when the DNC engineered (or at least gave the suspicious appearance of having engineered) Hillary’s victory in the primaries, many of them weren’t going to just roll into line and vote for her. Gary Johnson also represented the Idea, but without the backing of the extremely well-entrenched two party duopoly never had a real chance. Take heart that not every Trump voter is a racist, misogynist xenophobe, but instead expressed fury and dismay at a broken system in the only forum where all of us are equal.

In the meantime, we have two years until midterm elections. We must do everything we can to ensure that we have good candidates available instead of the party-line caricatures we’ve been offered.

Frank brings up a valid point about what I think is the overriding reason Trump is president-elect. Hillary represented business as usual and the people wanted change. I was certainly no fan of Bernie Sanders’ socialistic model, but I would have loved to see him go head-to-head with Trump. When the corrupt DNC ensured that would never happen, there was only one anti-establishment candidate left on the ballot. Trump got just about the same number of voters as Romney in 2012. Disaffected Democrats stayed home in droves.

So to all of those shocked liberals wondering why Trump will be the President, I suggest taking a long hard look in the mirror.

Slinging the bull

Posted on 08/November/2016 by John McCrarey

It’s been awhile since I’ve talked about darts. We won last night’s match against Dillinger’s 16-11, and so we remain undefeated going into the final match of the regular season next week. We’ll be playing Sin Bin, the second place team, so we are going to have to work hard and earn it to win out.

I had an interesting match in singles. I was down quite a bit in 501, then my opponent struggled with hitting his out and I managed to come back and win the leg. Then in cricket I was WAY down until I did this:

Yes, for the first time in my darting career I managed to pound 3 double bulls in competition. That got me back in the game, but I was still down. On my next throw I hit 3 single bulls, which put me up on points. Then I hit a 6 mark to close out two of my open numbers, setting me up for an unexpected comeback win. (the photo is from Google Images, I’m not gauche enough to stop in the middle of a match to take a photo of my amazingly fantastic dart throw…)

So, it may come as a surprise to long-time readers but I’ve made the decision to take a break from darts at the end of this season. The truth of the matter is I’ve lost my passion for the game. I rarely practice, and notwithstanding my improbably good performance last night, my game has really deteriorated. 2017 is right around the corner and I’ve got lots to get done in preparation for my new life, whatever that may be. At the least, I’ll need to travel somewhat more frequently as I scout out possible venues for life of re-retirement.

In other news, the weather has turned colder but that hasn’t chilled my enthusiasm for getting my steps in.

Had to break out the old wool cap for the first time this season…

Walking to work this morning I slipped a pic of my fall trip.

It was also a beautiful day for my lunchtime walk.

And so I took the long route home from work along the Han riverside.

I’ll say this for cold weather, it saps the piss right out of me. Literally. I always use the toilet just prior to leaving the office. I had to pee again 30 minutes into my walk. And then I had to pee again 30 minutes after that. I then detoured to Naksapyeong station to use their toilet before I could make it home. Now mind you, I was not drinking anything along the way, so where in the hell is all that liquid waste coming from?

I’ll leave you to ponder that mystery. 24,000+ steps have left me tired tonight.

Walk on

Posted on 06/November/2016 by John McCrarey

Nothing like a good hike to get your head right.

26,000+ steps along the riverside yesterday. 22,000+ on the mountain today.

And I’ve finally made some progress on the weight reduction after being more or less flat lined for the past several weeks.

208 pounds at this afternoon’s weigh-in. Down 61 overall, 9 pounds to go to achieve goal.

Hope I can make it by Thanksgiving. I’ve got big plans to load up on everything I’ve been missing when I enjoy the traditional feast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgjK2ITm_eM

Thanks for the memories

Posted on 06/November/2016 by John McCrarey

It was a hell of a week.

Lots of work stuff that keeps my life more intense than I like. But it’s what I signed up for, so why complain? Much.

Woke up Saturday morning to a coughing fit. Hocked up all kinds of juicy junk from deep in my innards. Not a pretty sight.

Later that morning Eun Oke packed up her stuff and left me. Again. To her credit, she sent me a message suggesting a “break up date”. Well, that was a first. Which at my age I don’t get the opportunity to say very often. Eun Oke decided to end the relationship for reasons I think are legitimate. So no hard feelings on my part. And then she suggested we have a last fling to memorialize the event. Obviously I had nothing better to do. And it was a nice way to finish what had been for the most part a good experience. I’ll miss her.

For those who are curious, her reasoning is that our future plans are incompatible (i.e. me retiring and leaving Korea) and we are both too selfish to compromise. True. She also mentioned the age difference (I’m 18 years her senior). She told me “it’s fine now, but when I’m 52 you’ll be 70!”. And yes, I’m definitely way to selfish to die early to preclude that event.

Anyway, it’s fine and I’m fine. I had intentionally held myself back as a matter of self-preservation. And the sad fact is I am not sure I’ll ever be able to go “all in” in a relationship again. I think Eun Oke sensed that which I’m sure was a contributing factor in her decision to flee now. I think it was the right call. We’ve agreed to remain friends and I’m happy about that.

So far in 2016 I’ve had two women profess their love for me and I have no reason to question the sincerity of those professions. Still, I have become bitter and cynical to the point that I just don’t really believe in love anymore. And that’s really a big deal, tantamount to losing my religion.

This week Facebook provided a sad reminder of why the “I love you” words leave me cold. They have a feature called “Your memories on Facebook” that pops up in your newsfeed on a daily basis. I can’t seem to stop myself from taking that journey to the past. And that’s where I encountered this nugget from three years ago:

Thank you so much to my lovely husband! He take care of me so good and feed me good…he help me a lot! Even one my arms pain a lot but he make me pain less and inside my heart is full of love and feel warm..I am so lucky and happy woman because of John McCrarey! My life is much better because of you! Thank you and I love you so much!

Things change, obviously. I’ve moved on pretty much but I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. Part of my problem is I have no understanding as to what the fuck happened. How do you go from the sentiment expressed above to “I don’t have happy life with you” in less than two years? I believed in Jee Yeun and never imagined she would abandon the life we made together. And I know now that if her love wasn’t real and lasting, no love truly can be.

It’s all just words.

Long Time Gone

Monthly Archives: November 2016