Thirty days out or one month away, take your pick. I continue the slow process of extricating myself from the bonds that bind me here.
My big dilemma of the moment is deciding whether to bring two suitcases or one. Philippines Air says I can carry 30 kilos total on the flight, every additional kilo will cost me $12.00. Decisions, decisions. On the one hand, I can just leave behind whatever might not fit. Or I could fill the second bag with stuff I could use and may not find in the PI (or that would cost a lot more). For example, I wouldn’t mind bringing a bidet with me. Plus I can buy stuff at the PX tax free. On the other hand, I’d have to struggle with two big-ass suitcases, plus my carry-on. I’ll decide sometime in the next month I reckon.
Meanwhile, I’m in the zone now where some things I do here I’m doing for the last time.
Today I got my last haircut in Korea…
It was pretty funny, the barber said I seem in much better spirits than I was the first time she saw me. She said that first day I had an expression on my face like I had just stepped in dog shit. That cracked me up! I admit I went through a grumpy phase (oh hell, maybe it is just my nature). But, having a new life to look forward to soon has indeed brightened my spirits.
Even my milk has a longer shelf life here than I do!
On thing is for sure, moving to the PI will…
…be changing me.
On the flip (no offense meant to the Filipino people) side, every last in Korea will be an opportunity for a first come May.
What else? Well it is Siblings Day in the USA. So, let me give a shoutout to my bros…
I’d be the handsome one in the middle. But you knew that, right?
I’m planning my last trip to Seoul the last weekend in April. Will stay Friday through Monday. Anyone out there want to meet up, give me a holler. Especially you, Kevin Kim.
The days like a slow train trickle by
And even the words that I write refuse to fly
All I can hear is your song haunting me
Can’t get the melody out of my head, you see
Distractions are amusing, do you know how much you’re losing
No you don’t, but I do
Walking home from work today and the wind was really gusting. I was thinking to myself “Jesus, wouldn’t it be the shits if I got killed by a falling limb while walking for my health?”
And not five minutes later I came across this scene. Timing is everything I guess and maybe my timing is starting to improve!
In other news, my soon to be vacant position has been announced on USAJobs. Want to apply? Go here.
There is much I’m going to miss about my working life, including moments like this:
One year ago I was meeting with the union and the American Ambassador to Korea. I may not be outstanding, but I was standing out with my left handed fist salute…
Easter and April Fools all rolled into one. And now I can begin saying “I’ll be moving next month”.
Well, I’m not a religious man but this made me smile…
Saw this guy on my walk today. And remembered a Sunday School lesson: And He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Grandma would be so proud of me!
Enjoying the warm weather walks has put a little Spring in my step…
….as I await my new future to blossom.
Another good Saturday on Younginsan with friends Daniel and Rafael…
Yum! Fresh bulgogi!
Got reminded of how much I enjoy the writing of Richard Bach this weekend as well…
In fact, it might be time to read Illusions again. It’s one of those books that speaks to you from a new perspective depending on your state of mind. I’ve gained wisdom during past times of transition.
Ah well, everything is good. Looking forward to changing my life. Next month.
April, come she will
When streams are ripe and swelled with rain
May, she will stay
Resting in my arms again
June, she’ll change her tune
In restless walks she’ll prowl the night
July, she will fly
And give no warning to her flight
August, die she must
The autumn winds blow chilly and cold
September, I’ll remember
A love once new has now grown old
It’s been a Good Friday so far. Took a 3 hour walk along the river to Pyeongtaek. And saw this:
Ain’t that the shits?
What else? Well, preparations for the big move continue apace. Made my reservation at the Treasure Island Resort on Baloy Beach for my first weekend in-country.
Stayed there once before for a couple of nights, but have enjoyed that bar on numerous occasions.
During the weekend I will scope out some short-term apartelles (I’m figuring 30 days) while I conduct a thorough on-the-ground reconnissance for my permanent digs.
I’ve also started doing some packing. Excited much? More and more as the move date approaches.
Ordered up 15 new vaping pen e-cigs and 15 bottles of juice. That ought to hold me until I make a planned trip back to the states in the fall. I can re-supply from there.
Monday I will visit the on-base legal office and get a Power of Attorney for my daughter to manage the mortgage affairs of our jointly owned property. I will also start the process of getting my Last Will and Testement completed. The only imminent departure I anticipate will be on May 11, but better safe than sorry, right?
Oh, and I sold my bicycle today. Shit’s gettin’ real.
Finally, I pretty much avoid political crap these days as I don’t see it adding any value to my life. Admittedly, one factor in my decision to move to the PI was my complete disgust with the bullshit taking place in my homeland of late. But sometimes you just have to take a stand. And when I saw that NETFLIX had hired the liar of Bengazi and the traitorous leaker of classified data derived from illegal spying on American citizens to its Board of Directors, I knew I had to act. Just canceled my NETFLIX account. Any company that thinks hiring a criminal like Susan Rice is a good move is not a company I will financially support. I used to watch NETFLIX to escape politics. Good bye and good riddance.
In news from the homeland, my granddaughter Gracyn (I’ve written about her before) competed in her first big time horse show.
Gracyn will be 13 in May. WTF? I’m not old enough to have a teenage granddaughter!
All dressed up and ready to ride! Her mother was also into horsemanship at that age, so I guess the fruit didn’t fall far from the tree.
You go girl!
And there she is, the Reserve Champion. I guess that is fancy horse talk for second place. The girl definitely has some talent and grandpa is very proud of her.
In other news, I continue my preparations for the new life to come. Picked up and assembled my first balikbayan box and began to fill it up.
That box is bigger than it looks. I thought I’d need to two to pack up the meager remains of my Korea life, but I’m thinking now that one ought to do the trick.
I continue to fill the dwindling hours here in Anjeong-ri with my walking routine.
Today I observed the rare inland shipwreck.
Will the day ever come that I will miss views like this? Probably not.
And finally, my efforts have not gone unnoticed. Fitbit has awarded me the coveted Astronaut badge.
Steppin’ up baby!
I’ve also had some company on my walks recently which has been a nice change of pace. Wipe that look of surprise off your face!
Well I’ve been out walking
I don’t do that much talking these days
These days-
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
For you
And all the times I had the chance to
And I had a lover
It’s so hard to risk another these days
These days-
Now if I seem to be afraid
To live the life I have made in song
Well it’s just that I’ve been losing so long
I’ll keep on moving
Things are bound to be improving these days
One of these days-
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten, my friend
Don’t confront me with my failures
I had not forgotten them
…but there is “me”. So, indulge me while I besiege you with 40 photos from this weekend’s off-site team building excursion to Byeonsan National Park way down south on the West Sea.
I got up early and baked some blueberry muffins to share with the team…
….made some brownies too. Pretty tasty if I do say so myself…
The team gathered to await the arrival of our chariot….
….which was right on time.
On the bus…
…and on the road.
Stopped at a scenic rest area along the way.
These rays have lost their sting no doubt…
The amazing staff members of the U.S. Eighth Army’s Directorate of Human Resources Management.
This quiet little village was the location for our lunchee meal.
It was bibimbap and Korean pizza, not my personal favorites, but I took one for the team.
We also hiked over to the local temple.
As Buddhist temples go, this one wasn’t all that impressive. The sign said it was original built in 633 and reconstructed in the 1500’s. I’ll have to take their word on that.
It was a nice walk getting there though.
A trail not taken. I’d say I saved it for another day, but my time in Korea is almost gone. A certain sadness permeated my weekend as I contemplated the ending of my life here.
Then it was off to the hotel at the Daemyung Resort. It was an impressive facility. I took this photo of the place from the top of a nearby mountain I hiked.
And this was the view from my room early on Saturday morning. I had been disappointed not to have a scored a sea view room, but this was very nice indeed.
After check-in we had individual free time prior to reconvening for dinner. I naturally used mine to hike around the area.
Saw some ocean…
…and some beaches…
….early signs of spring…
….a fishing boat harbor…
….and pledges of undying love written on sea shells. At Namsan the young lovers use padlocks. I doubt either would work for my sorry broken hearted ass…
I hiked from over there to up here. It was quite pleasant actually…
Oh, and I met this girl on the beach. We had some communication difficulty but I got the message she wasn’t interested in dating me. Heart of stone in that one…
We reconvened for the staff dinner at a mom and pop type restaurant in the neighborhood…
And enjoyed the thickest cut of samgyupsal I ever did see. And it turned out to be quite delicious….
Well, we were on a team building excursion. My Deputy and I had decided to forego the traditional team building exercises which we agreed were quite lame and did not translate well culturally. I still felt obligated to talk about the concept of “Team” and what it meant to be part of a successful one. I also reminded them that a team continues to function at a high level, regardless of who may depart that team. I know they will be fine without me and that they will ensure my replacement enjoys the satisfaction and success they have brought my professional life. What an honor it has been to lead them!
Back to the resort for the traditional after dinner beer bonding activity….
….which the team mastered quite well.
Saturday morning we gathered for a team hike up to a famous waterfall I can’t remember the name of and can’t be bothered to look up right now.
Here I demonstrate the concept of leading from behind…
Up, up and away…
It was quite beautiful as you can see…
The upper falls…
and the lower falls…
It was a pretty good hike, taking about an hour. I was glad to be in good enough shape to make it…
…and so did most of the rest of the team. And yes, a couple of my folks brought their kids along so that was a nice addition to the group.
And then it was time to head back to Pyeongtaek. The bus tried to leave without me, but I put a stop to that!
And thereby demostrated to the staff how not to use your head*.
No worries though. In due course I was resurrected which has allowed me to bring you the pleasure of this fine example of blogging. You are welcome!
46 days remaining.
*No one was actually injured in the creation of this post. I’ll do just about anything for a laugh.
Even though I’m a “double digit midget” things at Eighth Army Headquarters continue apace.
I led my team in providing some much needed training to our senior leaders in civilian personnel issues. For many in the officer cadre, working with civilians with the various rules and regulations associated with that workforce is a mystery that can be frustrating. Hopefully we managed to ease their minds some.
Today I also attended the Command Staff briefing to our 3-Star Commanding General. I did take note of the fact that on all the calendar slides the dates after mid-May lost all significance to me. I guess maybe I do have some symptoms of short timer-itis after all.
Oh, and I was asked to provide a copy of my bio…hmm. I’ve got a hunch what that is for, but I’ll let it be a surprise. For your reading enjoyment:
JOHN M. McCRAREY
Director, Human Resource Management
HQ 8th U.S. Army, Pyeongtaek, Republic of Korea
Mr. McCrarey began his career in federal service with the United States Postal Service in 1976 at Anaheim, California as a Letter Carrier. In his twenty-four years with the Postal Service he held positions of increasing responsibility in Prescott, Arizona; Fort Smith, Arkansas; Columbia, South Carolina; and Arlington, Virginia. His key assignments included Safety Manager, Labor Relations Specialist, Director, Human Resources, and Manager, Labor Relations. In 2001, Mr. McCrarey accepted a labor relations position with the United States Department of Education in Washington, DC. He joined the Army team in Korea in January 2005 as Chief, Labor and Performance Management and assumed responsibilities as Deputy Director in December 2007 and Director in June 2009. Mr. McCrarey retired from government service on 31 December 2010 but agreed to return to duty in the Directorate of Human Resources Management in June 2015, and accepted promotion to his former position as Director in September 2016.
Mr. McCrarey earned a Bachelor of Science in Human Resource Management from Southern Wesleyan University and did graduate studies at Marymount University in Arlington, Virginia.. He is a graduate of the USPS Advanced Leadership Program and the Excellence in Government Fellows Program. Mr. McCrarey is certified as a Senior Professional in Human Resources Management (SPHR).
You know, it occurs to me that my job is the best part of my life these days. Paradoxically, that is also the most compelling reason to retire again and find a meaningful life outside of work. We’ll see soon enough. In 58 days.
On this morning’s walk into the office I noticed these words of wisdom:
I’ll take that as a sign.
And on my afternoon walk I discovered more evidence that things here in Pyeongtaek are just a little bit off:
Every tenth Sunday?
All that walking has it’s rewards… 5,000 miles with the FitBit, apparently the equivalent of walking Africa end-to-end.
On the Facebook front, I got this reminder of something I posted 8 years ago today:
As I’ve been looking back at some old photographs I find myself wondering if I really enjoyed those moments as much as I should have way back then. You know, it is very easy as we live each day to focus on what’s ahead or behind us or whatever trouble we have on our mind. But really, there is so much to appreciate right in front of our nose and sometimes we miss that.
It seems I was a lot smarter then than I am now, don’t you think?
And it was only four years ago that I made the news:
“Man with wildly erratic darts endangers hotel guests” is how I recall the headline.
True enough. EspeciallyBut only if they stay by your side through thick and thin.
I’m wide open to whatever comes next in life. Open heart and open mind. Bring it on!
Forty years ago my son Kevin Lee began his life’s journey.
Happy Birthday son.
On today’s walk (26,000+ steps) I encountered this group of protesters with a rather unusual demand:
We’ll get right on that!
And today’s Facebook memories were particularly sad. Four years ago I was in Augusta, Georgia playing in a dart tournament.
Also there was my friend Bridget Werner….
And my buddy James Stoy.
Little did I know that they would both be dead within two years. You’ve got to live for the day because the days do run out without warning.
Speaking of darts, I’ve been playing in the IDK Saturday tourneys again. Took a first place last night.
My game is crap, I’m not anywhere near the player I used to be. Luckily, no one here is of the “A” division caliber I competed with in Seoul. Trying to get motivated to work at improving so I can kick some ass in the Subic dart league.
The Korean Employees Union leaders treated me and my KN labor adviser to a fine meal.
Grilled beef was tasty as were the sides. As a single guy I don’t get to enjoy Korean meals that often as they are generally served for a minimum of two…
After lunch we went upstairs to the union office and conducted our meeting. After working through the union’s agenda, I advised them I had one agenda item. I told them I had purchased a ticket to the Philippines for May 11. “When will you be back?” the President asked. I said it is a one-way ticket. I won’t be back. They were incredulous and none too pleased with the news. Which I guess is quite the compliment.
Early in my career I was a union steward and chapter president with the National Association of Letter Carriers. When I received my first promotion as a Safety Specialist, I was woefully unqualified for the job. When I asked the HR Director why she had selected me she replied “I always appreciated how you handled yourself in labor-management meetings. Your willingness to see both sides of a problem told me you had the right attitude and could be trained in the technical aspects of the job”. Now over 30 years later I was conducting a labor-management meeting on the management side of the table and listening with empathy to the union’s issues. It felt like I had completed the circle and it was a nice finishing touch to my long government career.
After work I took a two hour stroll along the Han river then circled back to my hotel as the sun set on another of the dwindling days in my Korea life.
Later that evening I met up with the nephew and friends Wan Jun and Becky for dinner at my favorite grilled pork belly restaurant in Itaewon.
The samgyupsal did not disappoint. Washed it down with beer and soju of course.
After dinner I was feeling nostalgic for one of the oldest bars in Itaewon, the Grand Ole Opry.
It’s the diviest of dive bars and was surprisingly divier than it was on my last visit.
Now, it is no secret that I like to country dance, especially when my brain has been properly lubricated with copious amounts of beer and soju. Sadly, no one was dancing last night despite the place being busier than normal. I noticed Wan Jun buying drinks for the some folks at another table and thought that odd. Then he sent a second round over. And the next thing I knew one of the gals came over for a dance with me. Yep, he bribed a woman to dance with me. How pathetic must I be? Well, I have my pride, but I accepted the dance anyway and twirled her around the empty dance floor. It was fun for me. She left after that one dance.
The last time I danced at the Opry was with my Commie friend Choonae. Justin still had videos on his phone from that night which I linked above. She’s a great dancer and made me look much better than I am. Good times!
I was pretty much done by then anyway. Went back to the hotel where I could Rest in Peace.
Okay, so yeah, I did stop in at the Dairy Queen for a large strawberry sundae. Call the diet police, I don’t care! Also, somewhere along the way I managed to lose my room key and the Crown hotel charged me W10,000 to replace it. Well, I didn’t have much choice but to pay, did I? Up at 0530 this morning to beat the traffic and be home in time for my Saturday mountain climb.
Which I have now completed. Weather was warm and pleasant.
So that’s about it. I have a buyer for the car, the gas grill, and my inflatable bed. And 62 days to sell the remaining remnants of my Korea life.
It has been a strange week hearing from some past loves. But also gratifying. I’ve really learned a lot about love and life through them, and as painful as those experiences may have been, they were invaluable. And it was a comfort for me to know that I’m still thought about and perhaps even loved. To the one that matters most, I think that the love I never expressed until it was too late is at least now believed to have been real and coming from the heart. That means more to me than she’ll ever know.
The longer I live the more I believe
You do have to give if you wanna receive.
There’s a time to listen, a time to talk.
And you might have to crawl even after you walk.
Had sure things blow up in my face,
Seen the longshot win the race.
Been knocked down by the slammin’ door.
Picked myself up and came back for more.
Life’s a dance, you learn as you go.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don’t worry ’bout what you don’t know,
life’s a dance, you learn as you go.
Off the Seoul again this morning. Luncheon meeting with the Korean Employees Union leadership. It’s a monthly thing so this will be the penultimate meeting. We have a lot of mutual respect for one another, so I’m sure the news of my upcoming departure will be unwelcome but so it goes.
Plans to hookup with the nephew and other friends for a Friday night romp in Itaewon. I’m sure this will not be the final visit to my old haunts yet, but of course time is winding down. I’m just pleased as hell to catch a break from the dead “nightlife” in Anjeong-ri. Hell, even the bar owners have been complaining to me about the lack of customers lately. Seems that when the soldiers get paid, they also head up to Seoul. And with another exercise on the horizon they are looking at two weeks of zero military business, which is probably 95% of the trade here. Thank God I didn’t get sucked into the temptation to go into the bar business here.
Speaking of bars, here’s that drink menu at Shooter’s I mentioned in an earlier post:
Now, I’ve had my share of blow jobs (a pretty tasty shot containing Baileys) but I just don’t think I’d be comfortable asking the bargirl about having a wet pussy.
I don’t know much about chemistry, but I found this pretty damn funny:
I need a crowd of people,
but I can’t face them
day to day,
I need a crowd of people,
but I can’t face them
day to day.
Though my problems
are meaningless,
that don’t make them
go away.
I need a crowd of people,
but I can’t face them
day to day.
For the second weekend in a row I was joined by three of my co-workers on Saturday’s hike.
The Hash was postponed today so I gave myself a break to the tune of 30,000+ steps.
The most interesting thing I saw on my chosen path was this. I don’t want to get into the weeds about it, but it struck me as a metaphor for my non-existent love life. King of Hearts my ass.
And speaking of love, have any of you Facebookers ever noticed this:
Thanks for that Mark.
Anyway, life is good. My house is filled with the aroma of my forthcoming dinner.
Pot roast it is tonight. Best get after it…
In 67 days perhaps I’ll have something more interesting to blog about. Or not.
Back from my whirlwind trip up to Seoul. I had feared the holiday traffic would be bad but it turned out to be no worse than usual. Got to the hotel at 3:30 so I decided to take a hike. It was cold and windy so I opted out of my plan to climb Namsan. Given that it was still early, I hoofed it over to the Philippines embassy in the Kyungridan neighborhood. I was greeted with a sign saying “closed on Thursday in observance of the Korean Independence Movement holiday. Oh well.
Had to pee, so I visited the Grand Hyatt hotel. Damn, it’s about the nicest hotel I’ve ever been in. Over the years I’ve dined there a couple of times and visited the nightclub (JJ Mahoney’s). So I walked around inside some, soaking up the ambiance and remembering the people I shared time with there. Started to get sad so I left.
Coming down the mountain from the Hyatt I enjoyed the Seoul skyline once again.
I don’t know what it is about memories that were mostly good at the time that cause me to feel more forlorn than normal. I truly do love Seoul and you’d think those feelings would be all the more enhanced since my exile to Pyeongtaek. Eh, it’s all about perception I guess and I chided myself for allowing the past to depress me. To little avail, but at least I know the problem is me.
And I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched!
I did make it a point to walk the crowded sidewalks so I could be jostled and irritated by rude fellow pedestrians. I’ve kinda missed that on the empty streets of Anjeong-ri. Suffice to say I wasn’t disappointed and I had to smile inwardly despite those feelings of frustration being stuck behind Koreans with no sense of space or situational awareness. Some things never change!
I had to pee again so I popped on down into Itaewon Station. Damn, it has been a long time since I’ve been in there.
Having achieved the barely acceptable step count of 15,000, I headed on down to Shenanigans. My old friend Rick had moved back to the USA a year ago and was back in town to fetch his wife and dog so they could all live happily ever after in Texas. He had one free night and agreed to spend it with me at our old hangout.
That’s Rick to my left. We also ran into Fidel and Mark and several other buddies from days gone by. Now that is something I definitely miss these days. After a few beers and some pub grub (pulled pork quesadilla and chicken wings) my mood was greatly enhanced.
A good time in a crowded bar surrounded by people I know. Does it get any better than that? When it was time to head back to the hotel I took a detour so I could check out the new Dairy Queen in Itaewon. And by check out I mean order a large caramel sundae. Yeah, I cheated on my diet. I have no self-control when I’m drunk. Sue me!
Up bright and early to walk over to the Army hospital. They had called during my drive down to say I needed to redo the blood test (apparently they had tested the wrong things from the sample I provided last week). So, the blood lab opened at 7:30 and I got there before anyone else…including the employees who strolled in about 8 minutes late.
I’m number 1! For once in my life…
After giving my blood sample to a cute Korean technician, it was off to the radiology department for my CT scan. I had to wait about 45 minutes for the blood work to come back, but a young soldier finally called my name. Mispronounced it so badly I didn’t know it was me until his sergeant came out and fetched me. They were doing a contrast image of my kidneys (I’m not sure why, but I reckon Dr. Lee will explain it all) which meant it was necessary to inject me with dye. The young soldier tried to insert the IV in a vein twice and failed. So the sergeant used me as a training opportunity. It took him two painful pokes, but he got it done. The scan was a breeze after that.
I left the hospital and walked over to the Dragon Hill Lodge and had a cup of coffee with my wife. Let her know I had a firm date for leaving the country forever. More sadness for me, but what is done, is done.
Did some banking business then walked back over to the Philippines embassy. It was still closed with yesterday’s signage still in place. I guess they just decided to make it a long weekend. It was a great opportunity for me to practice my Philippines mantra: “Take a deep breath. Relax. And accept the Filipino way”. I expect I’ll be saying that a lot in the weeks and years to come.
Headed back to the hotel to fetch my car for the drive home, and walked through my old neighborhood in Naksapyeong. Had to pee so I popped into the little park on my old street.
The unbearable lightness of being.
Anyway, an uneventful trip home to Pyeongtaek, which is just the way I like it.
At a crossroads of sorts. Diligently working at letting go of the past and looking forward with some trepidation to an unknown and uncertain future. This twilight zone of being caught in the middle of lost dreams and hope for the dreams to come at times overwhelms my resolve to live in the moment.
Well, there are many things to be done over the course of the next 75 days and I’m slowly but surely getting them accomplished. Today for example I started the ball rolling on recruiting for my replacement. Hopefully this will afford Eighth Army the opportunity for a smooth and seamless transition in the Human Resources Management Director’s chair.
Honestly speaking, letting go of the job is the hardest part of leaving. I’ve been resisting the entreaties of my staff to stay “just a little bit longer”, but it was tempting. It is not just the insane pay and free mansion palace. I actually enjoy the work and most of all the people I work with. It is a good feeling to be part of something bigger than myself and to be doing meaningful work (at least as meaningful as government work can be) and making a difference. I’m actually very proud of some of the initiatives I’ve helped put in place during this final iteration of my working life.
But I’ll always have this nifty hat to remind me of my glory days…
Going forward, I will need to work hard at staying engaged in the day-to-day chores my Uncle Sam pays me to perform. It was kind of funny last week when I met with my counterparts from the ROK Ministry of Employment and Labor and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs for a Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA) Labor Subcommittee (which I co-chair) gathering. The ROK side had put forth several agenda items and I of course listened respectfully to their issues and concerns. I told them on behalf of USFK that we were certainly receptive to making the changes they were suggesting, contingent on them coming up with the money to fund them. Bottom line, we agreed to continue working together on strategies to strengthen the alliance. Katchi kapshida and all that. In my own mind I’m thinking I succeeded in kicking that can far enough down the road to be in the “not my problem anymore” category.
Thirty years ago I was acting Director of Human Resources in Roanoke, VA for the USPS. I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then…
Anyway, in my non-working life things are pretty much as they have always been. Little things pop into my head on occasion. Like “should I buy this large size of laundry detergent? Will I be able to use it all before moving day?” You know, meaningless stuff that means I’m getting my mind around the fact that my Korea life is nearing its expiration date.
In the category of “if there is a God, He must be laughing His ass off”, I’ve recently had a couple of women here express an interest in getting to know me. Tempting as that may be, I’ve been resistant to their charms. Given the shortness of my remaining time in this lovely village, what’s the point? It can only end badly for one or both of us. I will not allow myself to be waylaid from my chosen future, despite its uncertainty, like I was 8 years ago. Been there, done that and have the broken heart to prove it.
Speaking of that uncertain future, why shouldn’t the uncertainty be a feature, not a bug? It’s the uncertain nature of things that make for an adventure. As one friend put it, when did you become such a pussy? (well, I am paraphrasing, but that’s the gist of it). It’s true, 8 years ago I was set to go out into the great unknown alone and unaccompanied without fear. Now I am lamenting not having the person I hoped to share that future with to take care of me. Ah well, I’m older and maybe a little less sure of myself these days, but I expect I’ll manage just fine.
Every dawn is one day closer to having boots on the ground. Being freed from this purgatory between the past and the future will make all the difference. Or so I keep telling myself.
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
For he’s with you, clear to the end
And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
–Paul Dale Wimbrow
Well, I achieved the 500 facebook friends milestone. That’s my limit. Any additional adds means someone gets cut. Won’t be a problem though since I’m probably only interacting with 50 or so of these “friends” anyway.
In the realm of “real” friends, I want to give a shout out to Evangeline. She’s someone I’ve “known” online since 2009. When I made the decision to marry Jee Yeun I needed to end our contact. That hurt her I know, but I didn’t have any choice. Once I committed to married life, I had to leave the Philippines and Filipinas behind. A lot of good that did me.
Anyway, after the breakup Eva left a comment on my blog and we reconnected. I had her over for a visit last year and showed her around Korea. It was nice to finally meet her in person, but we were in different places emotionally. I was in denial about my love for Loraine and she was I think hoping to rekindle our previous online romance in the 3D world. Well, that didn’t work out, but to her credit and my good fortune we have developed a very robust and satisfying friendship. I actually consider her my best friend these days. We are open about the things happening in our lives, good and bad. We share words of wisdom, comfort and support with one another. There is a level of trust and honesty between us that has been pretty rare in my life. It’s meant a lot that she has stood by me during my recent heartbreak. Thank you for that, Eva!
Also in the realm of online friendship, I reached out to a fellow member of a PI Forum I’ve communicated with in the past as he hadn’t posted in quite sometime. Turns out he is doing quite well these days. He read about the spectacular failure of my “brand new plan” (hiring someone to be my caregiver/girlfriend) and shared these insights:
Hi John,
I remember your plan about the care-giver. I have not kept up with the PA updates since June of last year. I am reading now your developments since then. quite an emotional trip you’ve had.
We have some similarities in our experiences, you and me. As you know, I struggled for a couple of year to understand what I was going through. This is not easy stuff. PA addicts helps open our eyes and put things in perspective a bit, but it does not solve the problem. The Filipina is on one extreme of the continuum and the BMs here are on the other extreme, but the solution for you and me is in the middle-ground.
You are right in your description of the old foreigners in the bars and in SM, how they look lonely and empty. I see it in the eyes and on their faces every time I am there. Don’t buy their bullshit that they prefer to live this way, just meeting up a girl for p4p twice or three times a week, then live a lonely and empty life the rest of the week. This is all bullshit, they just don’t want to spend the money or they can’t handle a basic relationship. I feel sorry for them too – to drag their asses all the way to the Philippines so that they can live a lonely and purposeless life there? How sad is that?
There are a lot of foreigners who live in the PI who are in very happy relationships with Filipinas. Some have a traditional type relationship and some are swingers and are in open type relationships. If you are willing to spend the money, you can have any type of relationship you want over there. This is what I have learned. The girl will give you anything you want for the money, including affection and loyalty… everything for a price, and yes, that includes devotion and loyalty. Their minds just work different than ours, it is all about survival and the long game. BMs tell you that Filipinas live day by day and don’t think of the future? This is the biggest piece of crap I have heard, it is all about the long game and about the future with Filipinas, all about security in the LONG RUN. You have seen it with your girl and I have seen it with mine.
When I am in the Philippines, I stay in Angeles with my girlfriend. If you recall, she purchased a town home on the hills above Clark, I stay with her over there. We have an open relationship and we are having a lot of fun playing together with all kinds of other people. We are pretty much like Timanglove and his partner. After all that soul searching and deliberation, I have found that this is the only way I am comfortable in a relationship with her. It is not what she prefers, but it is what I prefer. And since I am the one with the resources, this is how it is.
Am I taking a chance that one day I might lose her to a Kev? Yes, but I have learned the hard way that the only way you can have a decent relationship with these Asian beauties is to make your rules clear and be willing to let them go if they cannot meet those rules. So far she is sticking around and she is fully devoted to me.
I will talk to you soon, keep your chin up, what you experienced is normal over there, her choice is about her not about you… long-term security is in their DNA, you cannot separate it from love, the sooner you accept that, the better off you are and the more likely you are to succeed and to enjoy your relationships.
I would love to meet you when I am there so we can chat a length. My girl is only 23 and she is truly a very decent person and very loving and very caring… yet, I know that what keeps us together is money and I accept it now… And until I accepted it, I was not happy, and I could not enjoy myself or optimize the relationship, or my life…
Best,
George
Now, me and George see things a bit differently I think. I’m hoping that someone real will find me in the wilderness of my life and love me for who I am, not for what I have. And I honestly believe that is possible if I’m patient and refuse to settle for something less than that. But I’ll give George his due for accepting his reality for what it is. And choosing to be happy and satisfied with that. Anyway, I do hope to meet him one day and share our joys and sorrows over some cold beers.
Here in the real world I had the pleasure of some company this weekend.
Nephew Justin, and friends Becky and Wan Jun came down from Seoul for the wedding reception….
After a dinner of meatballs and shrimp (hey, it works!) we ventured out to IDK bar for some darts while we waited for the reception to begin at 8 p.m.
Except it didn’t begin at 8:00. The bride and groom arrived at around 10:30. So there I sat, a lonely guy.
The groom, Daniel.
The bride, Dela.
The bride and groom. At their request I offered up a drunken toast in honor of the marriage….those sober enough to remember tell me it was well done. Hope so!
Don’t you think Daniel and my nephew bear an uncanny resemblance?
Breakfast with my guests before their afternoon departure for Seoul.
I did the Hash this afternoon. It was just me and the “Hare” (the guy in charge of making the trail). But we had a pleasant walk together and some good conversation. Then I told him about the new Wolfhound Pub in the ‘ville (he frequented the one in Itaewon). He was pretty excited about the news, so we headed over for some beers. Made for an enjoyable afternoon with a new friend.
Life is good.
I hope the day will be a lighter highway
For friends are found on every road
Can you ever think of any better way
For the lost and weary travelers to go?
Making friends for the world to see
Let the people know you got what you need
With a friend at hand you will see the light
If your friends are there then every thing’s all right
Happy Lunar New Year and welcome to the year of the dog!
The Korean Employees Union President sent me a kind holiday greeting and a gift box of assorted dried seaweed. Yummy!
In a rare alignment of the stars I’m at the beginning of a four day weekend (Monday being the American holiday in honor of our Presidents).
So, what’s in store? Mountain hikes today, tomorrow and Sunday.
There’s also likely to be some drunkenness. Got some practice for that in last night.
My friends Daniel and Dela are now legally married and we will be celebrating with a huge reception here in the ‘ville on Saturday night. The nephew, and friends Wan Jun and Becky are coming down to stay with me and join in the festivities. Always nice to have company….
Saw this alongside the trail I was hiking the other day. I assume they are those tectonic plates I read about after Korea’s recent earthquake activity.
It’s funny how that works out…
Speaking of time travel, It was one year ago I was falling in love (unbeknownst to me) in Olongapo. I can’t go back and make it right, so I will plod on to the unknown and uncertain future.
And that’s it for now from your humble correspondent. I’ve got mountains to climb!
It’s not all gloom and doom all the time here at LTG. There are some good moments too.
This came in the mail from my sweet granddaughter Sydney. She really loves me. Or pizza. One of those….
Had a wonderful lunch with the staff at the Hwa Hwa restaurant in Anjeong-ri. My work family is a constant source of joy in my life.
The food was excellent too!
And today I tackled a new mountain–Younginsan, about 20 minutes drive from the house….
Nice trails…
…and much like my old friend Namsan, a stairway to the summit.
Made it to the peak without much trouble. Air not as clear as last weekend, but the view was still awesome…
Rafael, a friend from work, was my tour guide once again…
I wonder what this looks like in summertime?
This looks like a pretty cool cabin to camp out in…if I could only find a date.
Anyway, this is the best hiking I’ve done since I left Seoul. Really enjoyable and there are many more trails on this mountain to explore. I have my new Saturday routine now!
Exactly 90 days left in my working life. A brand new beautiful life is on the horizon. I’m looking forward to that.
I climbed a mountain. Played darts. Did a Hash. And learned of a death in the family.
Much easier climbing Mount Asan without snow on the ground…
Made it to the top….
….and planted the flag.
And we were rewarded with views like this…
….and this.
Yonder lies Camp Humphreys and lovely Pyeongtaek city.
Rafael, a guy from work was my hiking partner. It was a cold day with a brisk and frosty breeze, but we enjoyed our time on the mountain regardless.
Saw several of these grave sites on the way up and down. Maybe they are for the unfortunate hikers who make a tragic misstep….
Also came across this Buddhist Temple which appeared to be abandoned.
Last night I broke out the darts and played for the first time in several months. I was rusty of course, but still managed a second place finish. Tournament kept me out later than normal (and caused me to drink more as well). It was after midnight when I stumbled on home.
Did a two hour morning hike today, then met up with the Humphreys Hangover Hash House Harriers for my second Hash with the group.
Learning the trail markings for the Hash. Today’s hike was really easy and on terrain I have incorporated into my own walks. The biggest challenge is finding the chalk markings on the pavement and interpreting them correctly. I’m getting a little better at that now.
I enjoyed the company, which included my friends Daniel and Dela.
This morning I learned the sad news that Jee Yeun’s younger brother (technically still my brother-in-law) died. Not exactly sure of the cause, but Jee Yeun said he’d been drinking heavily since his marriage broke up. Sounds oddly familiar. Anyway, Jee Yeun is obviously upset and I offered all the comforting words I could muster. At least he is no longer suffering.
On Thursday afternoon I did a some strolling down memory lane. This is my first residence in Seoul (2005-2010)
And the last Seoul abode (2015-2017). Now of course I live in a palace…
Met up with the nephew for an early start at Shenanigans….
My friend Eve captured the Thursday night action at the bar…
I got comfortable and suggested we just enjoy some pub fare for dinner. Loaded nachos, lemon pepper chicken wings, and my favorite, pulled pork quesadillas. We were joined by our mutual pal Wan Jun. A good, but drunken, night for me.
Of course, the purpose of the trip was for some medical tests, an ultrasound of my abdomen and a CT scan of my lungs. They did the ultrasound first and while I’m waiting for the next test my phone rings. Well, sadly my phone rarely rings, but it was more than a little disconcerting to be called by Dr. Lee from the clinic on Camp Humphreys. She had the results of the ultrasound and advised that I had an abdominal aortic aneurysm.
Shit. What do I do about that, Dr. Lee? Nothing now apparently. It is 3.5 cms (normal for males is 1.7. They don’t consider surgical correction until 4.5. There are no symptoms to deal with and the only course of action is to continue to avoid high blood pressure, which I’m doing through meds. Based on my internet research, if the aneurysm ever bursts I’ll be a dead man. Ah well, we all have to die of something, and I reckon that something will be something else. At least that’s my plan!
I’ll make an appointment with Dr. Lea soon to go over the rest of the results and she has graciously agreed to go over my report from Good Morning Hospital with me as well.
