I’ve kinda fallen off the posting wagon of late here, haven’t I? Not to make excuses (as I proceed to do so) but I’ve just been a tad out of sorts here of late. When the going gets overwhelming, my tendency is retreat into numbing mindlessness.
So these past several days have found me escaping into the world of CIV IV (and doing pretty well, thank you) and watching countless espisodes of House (I’m halfway through season six now!).
That hasn’t left much time for the blog. But what’s to write anyway? Politics is not exactly a bore, but I find it increasingly difficult to watch Obama and his team of clowns and fools systematically deconstruct everything that once made America great. Which is not to say that politics is not in the future here at LTG, but I’m waiting for something inspiring. Hey, maybe the elections in November will bring good cheer…
But really, I think it is my impending retirement and move to the Philippines that has put me off my game. I have a great job and the career has been so much more than I ever imagined possible. Lucky I have been! Still, I do know it is time to let go and do something else (or nothing at all) for awhile. I just don’t have the passion for it anymore. I think this passionlessness is most notably manifested in my escalating inability to tolerate bullshit. And trust me, working for the government is the Kingdom of Bovine Excrement. Although I will miss the people and the security of a well paid position of responsibility, I can let go and move on. I really can.
So, moving on means moving on to the Philippines. But oddly enough, I can’t seem to generate as much excitement for the reality of that proposition as I could for the dream. I’m not exactly sure why that is and that fact has created a sense of foreboding and dissonance of late.
Well, there I’ve said it out aloud. And no, I don’t feel particularly better for having done so. The fact is I have built a very nice life for myself here in Korea. As the days dwindle down I’m realizing just how much I’m going to miss living here amongst the friends I have made. So, there’s that.
I’m going to be heading out to the PI on Thursday and will stay for 10 days. It’s really a business trip. Taking care of the business of securing a visa, a house to live in, and a sense that I am moving to a place where I belong.
I told myself I’d give it a year and see what happens. And that’s what I plan to do. I’d just prefer that the year feel like time spent in paradise rather than jail.
It’s a hot day. And the lake is dark and cold. It’s a little scary to contemplate jumping in, because the shock of hitting that water is bound to be…what? Painful? Perhaps, but once I’m aclimated I expect it will be refreshing.
And if I’m wrong? Well, I reckon I will just get my ass out of the lake and go look for a hot tub.
Or something.
(Mt. Pinatubo in Northern Luzon nearby where I expect to be living in September)
