In the year of the bicentennial

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It was 1976,  America turned 200 and I was 21.  I was living in a cracker box two bedroom house with my wife and baby girl in Westminster, California.   We were poor.  Being on food stamps poor.  I had a job in route sales, delivering packaged sandwiches to convenience stores all over Orange County.  The wife was waiting tables at the local Sizzler Steakhouse.  We also had a German Shepard named Angie.  I rented the house from my mother who lived next door.

That’s me sitting at the kitchen table calculating the statistics for the softball team I captained.  The Ringwraiths.  We of course didn’t have personal computers or the internet in those days.  That calculator I’m using was pretty high tech stuff for me.  We did have a 21″ RCA color television.  A Christmas gift from mom and dad.

My luck was going to change for the better a couple of months down the road when I hired on with the United States Postal Service as a letter carrier.  The pay back then was $5.25 per hour and of course I got the full benefit package (health insurance, paid leave, and for the first time in my young life, job security).

Funny thing is, I don’t recall ever feeling put out by my financial situation.  Truth be told, I guess I didn’t know any better.  I had grown up in a working class family.  We didn’t have a nice house, stylish clothes or fancy cars, but we had food on the table and a roof over our heads.  So, I guess it was just what I was used to.  Which is not to say I didn’t envy the nice things others had, but I didn’t begrudge them the trappings of success (or at least the good fortune of having high income parents).

Things were what that were, we made the best of it, and hell, we were generally pretty damn happy most of the time.  We had a tent and we’d frequently go camping.  We had good friends.  Marijuana was cheap.  Life was good.

All these years later I find myself once again living in a two bedroom house (albeit significantly larger and paid for), comfortable in my status as a government pensioner, sitting at the kitchen table writing this remembrance on a notebook computer to post on the Internet.   I guess I’d tell that young man in the photograph that things would find a way of working themselves out.  But I’m thinking he somehow already knows that.

Life is grand, isn’t it?

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The Ringwraiths (yeah, we were all really into Tolkien in those days).  Let’s see how many names I can remember.  Front row (L-R): Unknown, Dutch Griffin (my then wife’s ex-boyfriend), Chuck Martin, unknown, Doug Price (our star player), my brother Keith.  Back row: Unknown, Jim Meehan, Rod Headlee, Larry Raemakers, and me.

I got most of them, not bad for an old stoner I’d say.

My doctor doesn’t like my Levi’s

He told me flat out that I’ve got bad genes.  The most worrisome for me is the family history of diabetes.  After my last check up Dr. Yu (a hilarious* Korean at Soonchunhwang hospital’s international clinic) told me that I’ve dodged the diabetes bullet thus far but if I want to keep it that way I’d better start exercising and lose some weight.  I promised him I would be slimmer when I see him again in August.

Another doctor I follow online is a big promoter of the LCHF (low carb, high fat) diet.  So, I was definitely encouraged reading his latest post about a patient with Type 2 diabetes  who reports a stunning reversal of the effects of the disease after a year of the LCHF lifestyle.

So, on to the results of this week’s weigh-in.  One thing I’ve discovered is my scale basically sucks.  I mean, it’s a digital Health-o-Meter, a decent brand in the mid-price range.  But I weighed myself several times over the course of a few minutes and got a 1 pound variance in weight.  And no, I didn’t eat or poop in the interim.  I’m taking the reading in the middle for today.  Then I’ll go to Amazon and buy a new scale.

Today’s weight: 267.0 (or 266.5 or 267.5, take your pick).  That’s down (around) 3 pounds from last week’s 270.  And down 11.5 since February 19.  WooHoo!  Best of all I’m moving in the right direction again.  This is especially interesting to me because I was a total slug this week.  I mean, about the only exercise I got was getting up to take a leak during my marathon sessions of playing Civ IV. 

Girth remains unchanged from last week’s 50.5″ and down one inch overall.  Although it did seem that my shirt buttons weren’t bursting with their usual fervor.

Anyway, I’ll call that progress and recommit myself to actually moving around some in an exercise-like fashion.

*Here’s a funny Dr. Yu story.  Jee Yeun and I share appointments.  During our last visit I told Dr. Yu that Jee Yeun was always complaining about being bored.  I asked if there was anything he could prescribe for that.  Without missing a beat he responded “Yes!  Viagra.”

I can’t remember if I blogged that before or just posted on Facebook.  Ah well, it was worth repeating.

So, this is Saint Patrick’s day

Isn’t that special.  I’m not that much into delving into my cultural heritage.  Like most Americans, I expect I’m more of a mongrel dog than anything.   Indeed, family rumor has it that we’ve even got some Native American blood coursing through our veins.  I did ask my father once if the McCrarey clan was Irish or Scottish.  He said “well son, I drink like an Irishman and I’m cheap like a Scot, so I guess we’ve got some of both.”

Who knows?  And more importantly, who cares?  The whole purpose of this post is to share a short video clip that I found funny.  Enjoy!

How to meet women (part 1)

For all you single guys out there, I came across a great pickup line: “Baby, are you a cemetery? Because I’m dead inside and want to bury myself in you.” Man, they’ll be like flies to honey. Trust me on that.

Or you might try asking them “do you want to play the rape game?”  They will invariably say “NO!”  To which you respond “that’s the spirit!”

Hey, I’m giving this stuff away for free.  Thank me later.

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A rainy day at the beach

Anyone up for a road trip to the Sea of Japan East Sea?

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Leaving the traffic of Seoul behind and heading out to the country on Highway 6.

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Most of the trip is two lane blacktop which is the way I prefer to roll.

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You don’t so much go over the mountains as you do going through them.

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A rest area where Jee Yeun refreshes herself with noodles and kimchi.

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More tunnels.  I swear the Korean people must be descended from Tolkien’s dwarves.

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The long and winding road that leads me to your door…

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…well, our beachfront hotel room door anyway.

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A room with a view for about forty bucks thanks to Jee Yeun’s well developed negotiating skills.

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One view from the room…

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…another view.

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What do you do with a rainy day at the beach?  Find a coffee shop of course.

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Here’s one of the reasons Jee Yeun is so special.  Most folks would be disappointed that it was raining at the beach.  Jee Yeun said “isn’t it great to sit here and smell the coffee and watching it rain!”  Even the butterfly (moth?) seemed to agree.

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Me contemplating the wisdom of Jee Yeun’s words.

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Like the Morton salt girl, when it rains it pours.  But that’s alright.

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As they say in old Mexico: sometimes life’s a beach.

Inexplicably

I came across the word “inexplicable” the other day so I thought I’d look up the definition.  The dictionary said “cannot be explained.”  So, I still don’t know what inexplicable means.

Bada bing.

Anyway, at today’s weigh-in I encountered a situation that cannot be explained.  Despite denying myself the wholesome sweetness of carbohydrates in all their fattening glory, I actually gained weight.  What the fuck is up with that?

I am discouraged by this unanticipated turn of events, but I’m committed to staying the course.  I just don’t know what I can do differently.  Well, I guess I could turn my good intentions about exercise into action.  Onward and hopefully downward.

This week’s weight is 270.0 (up from 268.5 last week and down 8.5 pounds since February 19).

Girth is 50.5, down .5 from last week and 1″ since I began the diet.

How do you gain weight and lose belly?  It’s inexplicable.

The lesser of two weevils

Time for the Sunday weigh-in report.

Sticking to the diet was tough this week as I was doing a whole lot of dart related travel.  I did alright I guess, but I was pretty damn hungry on occasion and didn’t have many options for a quick snack.  I had a $16 room service chicken Caesar salad one night and a 9 buck cheeseburger the next.  Of course, I just ate the meat and substituted a side salad for the fries.  For breakfast I ate omelets with ham, cheese and mushrooms.  And that was it.  I had prepared some snacks of celery sticks and string cheese but forgot to bring them with me.  And so it goes.

Today’s weight: 268.5 (-3.5 lbs from last week and -10 pounds since 2/19/13)

Girth: 51 inches (unchanged from last week and minus 1/2 inch overall).

I fully recognize that I won’t continue losing pounds at this rate but I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.  As far as I’m concerned, the less of me the better!

I’ve been following The Diet Doctor, a big proponent of the low carb lifestyle.  Give him a read.

When you get caught between the moon…

…and Garden City, the best that you can do isn’t good enough.  Or something like that.

Tough weekend of darts in Augusta at the Garden City Classic.  When I played well, it wasn’t quite good enough to win.  And when I sucked, well, I sucked big time.

I did manage to make the the top 16 in singles 501, but even there I lost a match that woulda, coulda, shoulda been mine for the taking.  I just didn’t take it out.  Ah well.  My other highlight was throwing two Ton-80s, but if you don’t hit the double out to win, what you do up top is of little moment.

It was still a good time all in all.
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Nobody tried harder.

Back in the day

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This is how I looked in 1988.  I have this fantasy about losing years along with pounds.  Alas, I know my youth is paradise lost forever.  Although to be honest I still have the mindset of a thirtysomething.  Imagine my shock and disappointment every time I encounter a mirror.  On the other hand, getting older does have some benefits. Chief among them is that aging sure as hell beats the alternative.

The story behind the photo is that I was an “up and comer” in Postal Service management (alright, not that high a bar I admit) and my boss wanted to see if I had the right stuff for future promotion.  I was sent to Roanoke, Virginia to serve as the acting Director of Human Resources.  The previous Director had been fired for sexually harassing the woman in the photo and emotions were running high.  Half the staff supported my predecessor and the other half supported the victim.  It was a challenging assignment but I managed to get things squared away and the higher ups seemed pleased with my efforts.

I’m getting some kind of bullshit pin (probably for accumulating sick leave hours or years of service or some such nonsense).  Nancy Ara was my labor relations specialist and a good and kind person.  Sadly, she died of breast cancer a few years later.

The wait is over

If you’ve been waiting for my weekly weigh-in that is.  It’s not quite been a week, but I’ve picked Sunday as the day to mark progress (or failure) in my war with obesity.

I was sorely tested yesterday.  I started the morning with some eggs and bacon (but no toast or hash browns of course).  Later on we drove to Aiken for a big tourney in a format that required continuous play (standing and walking) for five straight hours.   Anyway, as we were arriving Jee Yeun announced her craving for a Burger King Junior Whooper.  I try to accommodate her desires when possible, and the people at the embassy did say that I had to feed her as a condition of granting her visa.  It smelled so good, but I refused the proffered bite.

So, I basically starved myself all afternoon (ha, you could call it the hunger games I suppose).  I did indulge myself three ultra light beers (2.6g of carbohydrates each) which is about half the amount I’d normally drink under stressful tournament conditions.  I filled the gaps with Diet Coke.

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Anyway, despite my hunger I resisted the urge for fast food on the long drive home and instead thought about what I’d cook for myself when I arrived.  That turned out to be two grilled hamburger patties, two small corn-on-the-cob, and a small chef salad.  Yeah, I’m still eating a lot, just limiting the carbs.

And now (drum roll please) the results:

Weight: 272.0 (down from 278.5)

Girth (because circumference is too hard to spell): 51.0″ (down from 51.5″)

I’ll take those results!  Of course, sustainability is another issue.  But so far, so good.

Dazed and confused

So last night I drive out to Aiken, SC for a darts tourney.  It takes about an hour and 15 minutes to get to the VFW post which serves as the venue.  I’ve driven it two or three times before, but not since last September.  And never on a dark, rainy, foggy night.

There are two ways to go–one through Aiken with multiple traffic signals, and the back way down narrow country roads.  I prefer the back way.  There are a couple of turns you have to make, but I figured with my trusty Garmin GPS navigation system I was golden.  Except my Garmin was non-functioning due to a missing power cable (my son had borrowed it and apparently returned it with the wrong cable).  Alright, no worries I figured, I can remember the way.

And I did remember, for the most part.  I made all the right turns except the last one.  Of course I didn’t realize the error of my ways until I was 15 minutes down the wrong road.  And I had about 15 minutes to get to the tourney, so there was no turning back.  I reckoned I was going in generally the correct direction, but given the twisting, turning nature of the highway I couldn’t be sure.  I realized that I had made the turn too soon, but calculated this road could potentially drop me in the vicinity of my destination, albeit further up the street.

So I kept driving and driving.  It was, ahem, black as night and I couldn’t see much except the occasional ramshackle farm house.  I could almost swear I heard faint echos of dueling banjos playing in the distance.  I was seemingly the only car on this road to nowhere and there was nary a gas station or convenience store in sight.  Not that I would have stopped and asked for directions mind you.

Eventually I came to a fork in the road, so I took it.  I hoped that bearing right was the correct choice, but at this point I was pretty much without a clue.  Then I came to an intersection and chose to go west.  It was a pretty major highway and I figured it had to lead somewhere.  Although when I saw a sign for the University of Georgia conference center I was more than a little concerned.  Well, turns out I wasn’t in Georgia but I was still pretty far from where I was supposed to be and still wasn’t clear on just how to get there.  So, I figured the tourney wasn’t going to be happening for me despite my best efforts.

After awhile things seemed more familiar and sure enough I spied the road to the VFW on the left (it should have been on the right).  I figured they’d already completed the draw, but they were sitting on 33 players, so I was the odd man in!

Played the tourney, took a fourth place (which isn’t bad considering how out of sorts I was upon arrival).  We finished after midnight, but I braved “the back way” for the return trip.  I saw where I had gone wrong (turned one road too soon, but that made all the difference).  Made it to I-20 and had the highway pretty much to myself.  It was raining like crazy though and I remembered the Big Hominid doing a crash and burn due to hydroplaning, so I slowed down to the speed limit.

Made it home by 1:30, tired and hungry.  Now, in the olden days I would have fixed myself a big bowl of ice cream but sadly those days are in my past.  Instead, I took out some cook and serve roast beef slices from the freezer and popped them in the microwave.  The instructions clearly state to let the package stand for two minutes after cooking.  I was hungry so the hell with that!  Wound up with two big steam blisters on my left hand.  Hurt like a motherfucker all night.  At least it wasn’t my dart throwing hand.

I’m back to Aiken this morning to play in a qualifying tourney for the Regionals in Augusta next weekend.  I’ll have to throw better than I did last night, that’s for sure.   But, by gawd, I know my way to the VFW now.  Even in daylight!