…I did anyway.
It’s the final match of the Korea Darts Federation tourney featuring Alister “All-Star” Tarbett from Scotland and your humble blog host. Yeah, this is the tourney I swore wouldn’t give me a big head. It was with sincere modesty that I posted this clip from the match on YouTube.
It was a lesson well-learned. Throughout my professional career when something went wrong, I’d stand up and take responsibility for it (fortunately, things didn’t go wrong all that often). By doing so, we were able to avoid all the blame and recriminations and get on with the business of fixing things.
Anyway, it worked for me and I wish more people would give it a try. Who knows, it might just make the world a little bit better for all of us.
“You dirty bastards!” the woman exclaims. “We don’t talk about our sex lives in public in this country!”
“Hey, whattsa matter with you?” the man asks. “I’m justa tellin’ my friend how to spell Mississippi.
…and I feel, er, disgusted.
As is my wont, I did some traveling around the internets this morning. What I saw wasn’t pretty. Let me show you what I mean:
From Germany: A buxom woman has been accused of trying to kill her lawyer boyfriend… with her double-D breasts. Franziska Hansen, 33 from Germany is accused of ‘attempted manslaughter with a weapon’ after her boyfriend claimed she tried to smother him with her breasts and pretend it was a sex game of motorboat.
Rockland, Maine: A 62-year-old Cushing man will spend five days in jail after pleading guilty Wednesday to assaulting his estranged wife. The incident occurred in July in Warren when his wife of 39 years, who was estranged from him, stayed at his place. He offered her $20 for sex, and when she refused he took out his penis and struck her with it, according to the prosecution’s version of events to which he pleaded guilty.
Florida: A woman who allegedly masturbated in a Florida Starbucks was arrested Thursday after police found a glass pipe with cocaine residue in her purse, authorities said. “We were called there by someone who said she was masturbating. She was high on crack with her hands going everywhere,” police spokesperson Josh Cramer said. “No one can say for sure what she was doing, but her hands were in her pants when she was wigging out,” he said.
Manila: The body of Roberto Apuyan was discovered with 11 stab wounds inside a room at Pitang Suites on Evangelista Street in Pasig City on November 19. Through a check of the motel records, the police managed to track down and arrest the primary suspect —a 15-year-old girl who was the victim’s lover. According to the motel staff, both were regular guests of the establishment. A further check of the records and verification showed that the minor did not kill the victim by herself. Her 21-year-old boyfriend, Elton Juan, had helped her carry out the deed. [Elton Juan–are you kidding me?]
Alabama: A man raped his niece while the girl’s father watched, according to police. Police said Dustin Alton Kent raped his niece, then 13, in 2008. The girl’s father, who committed suicide in June, allegedly told her she was going to the pet store and instead drove to Kent. The father is said to have seen his daughter being raped. Several members of the Wood family, including her own brother, have been charged with incest and rape. “From the evidence I have seen,” Patterson said, “this is a kind of collection of pedophiles.”
China: A 14-year-old girl, stole her mother’s husband, married him and had a baby together, according to court proceedings. The Chinese teenager apparently had a lovechild with her stepfather. She is threatening to cut off ties with her mother unless she divorces him. After the baby was born, the stepfather sent a text message to his wife, congratulating her for being a grandmother.
Ireland: A man was arrested and charged after a woman died having sex with his dog at his home, according to court proceedings.
Sean McDonnell from Limerick, Ireland, had met a woman on a chat line for bestiality. She later had sex with a dog at his home, but died shortly after. Originally it was believed that she has had an allergic reaction to animal sex, but test were unable to prove this theory.
Missouri: A St. Louis, Missouri woman pleaded guilty Monday to carrying out sexual acts with her dog and was sentenced to 120 days in jail. Dana Kintz, 28, called police on March 12 to her home claiming that her boyfriend Shawn Ingram, 37, has beaten and slapped her. Police said they found child pornography on cell phone images and also saw Kintz with Ingram engaged in sexual acts with the couple’s dog.
[It looks more like dog on dog to me, but in either case, the SPCA should be called]
Florida: 32-year-old Karnesha Dixon, from Florida, was caught in a compromising position by the police, while inside of a minivan. The Police of Martin County were tipped off to a couple getting frisky and when they approached the van they found Dixon’s head in the lap of 78-year-old Jackie Fischer. When asked what she was doing, she said that she was simply looking for cigarettes. [It’s a shame more women don’t smoke. And here’s hoping I’m feeling that randy at 78!]
There you have it. These may or may not be signs of coming apocalypse. As for me, I think I’ll take a shower.
Speaking of sick and dirty, this photograph appeals to me for reasons I can’t quite explain.
It seems quite a few of our senior military officers can’t seem to avoid the temptation of sexy subordinates. Does this indicate a breakdown in the moral fabric of our nation? Or maybe it is just a case of human nature refusing to be denied.
I really don’t want to believe in the “infidelity risk curve”, but damn, I find it hard to argue with the logic presented here.
Last night I played in my first tournament sponsored by the Korea Darts Federation and sanctioned by the World Darts Federation. And by hook and by crook I managed to somehow win the damn thing. Well, actually I threw just about the best darts I can ever remember shooting. Along the way I beat some players that normally own me and finished by winning 15 out of 20 games.
I came away with W140,000 prize money and a sweet trophy. And if I understand correctly I’ll go from being an unranked amateur to having a World Darts Federation ranking. Even if I’m ranked at the bottom, going from nothing to worst is a step up in my world.
Now, some people might fear I’ll let this victory go to my head. I don’t see that happening.
I guess deep inside I always knew the day would come. And now it has. I was asked to appear as Santa Claus for a class of Korean preschool children.
Of course I accepted. Who wants to disappoint kids just before Christmas? I did ask the requester what made him think of me as a potential St. Nick. After a quick glance at my belly he responded “because you are so jolly”.
So as I understand it, what Santa says in Korean is “Ho! Ho! Ho!” I’ve got a month to practice.
There’s even a South Korea connection!
Not much of a surprise though. After all, Broadwell had been “embedded” in Afghanistan for months…
You can read the obituary here.
This pretty much captures the way I felt on election night.
Er, landslide I mean.
That’s what I am predicting.
I’ve observed quite a bit of controversy during Cricket matches lately. And it always revolves around the same issue–pointing. Or to be more precise, what some folks consider “excessive” pointing.
To state the obvious, pointing is a strategic part of the game. Everyone has an opinion on darts strategy it seems, so here’s mine.
To begin, there is no rule limiting how much or how often you or your opponent can throw points. Accordingly, the best way to keep from being pointed, excessively or otherwise, is to close your numbers before your opponent does. Granted, that’s easier said than done, but complaining about someone’s points is well, pointless. You’ve got to take care of business at the oche.
Since no one in my circle of darters is likely to be appearing on ESPN anytime soon, we are all going to be faced with the issue of when and how much to point. Some of that will depend on the game situation and your foe, but there are some general rules of thumb I think apply in most circumstances.
1. Being ahead on points is a good thing. A very good thing. As long as you have more points on the board than the guy (or gal) you’re playing, you can’t be beat! How many points should you be ahead? Depends on your comfort level. I personally like to stay up by 2 bulls (that’s 26 points if you’re counting properly). Your mileage may vary, but I do believe there is such a thing as too many points. I’ll discuss that a little later.
2. Make all your darts work for you, especially that third one. Let’s talk this through. Say you open the game with a single 20 and then hit the triple with your next dart. What are you going to do with that third one? Yeah, yeah, you’re going to throw it at the board, but where on the board does it have the most value to you? The experts (at least the ones in a book I read when I first started darting) say you should expect no more than a single mark on any given dart. Which makes sense when you consider the odds. If I get one triple out of 3 darts on average, I’m throwing damn good. And I think that’s true for most of us grunts amateurs.
So, should I use my last dart for a single 19 or stay on the 20 for the points? I’d rather have a 40 point lead and no 19s, than 20 points and one 19. Here’s why. Let’s say your opponent answers with a 5 mark on 19s. You are still up on points, with the 20 closed. That’s pretty good shape. And here’s what I’d do next, I would try to close the 19s. If I hit a single 19 and then miss on the second dart, where is my third dart going to have the most value? Back up top! If I’m up by 22 points, my foe will need two 19s before he even thinks about working on closing the 20s. I pretty much stick to that strategy all around the board–if I can’t close a number with my third dart (again, assuming I’ll throw a single) and I have the opportunity to throw it for points, that’s where it is most likely going.
3. When is enough, enough? As stated earlier, you’ll find your own comfort level. If I’m up by a couple of numbers (or god forbid, down by a couple) I’ll alter my strategy accordingly. I’ve seen a lot of really good players once they get up on points make that third dart “work” by throwing at the bull. I’ve been on the wrong side of that strategy a few times, and trust me it is disconcerting to be down on points and seeing the bulls get closed mid-game.
And remember this–sometimes points just happen. You (or your foe) is going to hit a triple when a single would suffice. And we’ve all seen those irritating occasions when a shot at the 15 turns into a slider triple 17 for points. Ok, well it’s not so irritating when you have the “good luck”, but the point is that its nothing to get overly upset about.
4. Winning is the point. I play to win. And like most people, I really don’t like losing. If I get beat by a superior player, thems the breaks. If I beat myself, then it’s on me. Darts is a funny game in that while you are playing another player, it really comes down to you and board. If you take care of business at the oche, you’re going to win your share of matches. If you let what your opponent is doing with his darts get inside your head, you are likely going to lose. And if your opponent figures out that throwing “excessive” points is going to rattle you, well, guess what? They are going to throw those points.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it much either. But rather than get mad, I try to get even. I said earlier that as long as you are up on points, you can’t lose. But on the flip side, until you close all the numbers and bulls, you can’t win. So, someone throwing points they don’t need instead of working on closing numbers they do need to close is actually doing you a big favor. In my head I’m always saying “thank you for keeping me in this game!” You don’t always come back when you are down a hundred or more points, but as long as you have an open number to shoot at, you’ve got a chance to win. A few timely bulls or some trip 15s eats up a big points lead real quick. And I see exactly that happen pretty damn frequently. So, I say let them point and thank them after you take the W.
5. Darts is a game. A game usually played in bars. By people in various stages of inebriation. And maybe at times we take it all just a little too seriously. I guess I’d just remind everyone that we are supposed to be having some fun at this game. I understand that some of us are more competitive than others. But getting angry is counterproductive to throwing good darts, so there is really nothing to be gained from going down that road.
Darts is a game, but I don’t think it’s a “gentleman’s game”. There are good darters and bad darters. Nice people and not so nice people play the game. People have different ideas on how to play the game, some are good (mine) some are not (theirs). See what I mean? Play your game and let them play theirs. You can’t make your opponent play it your way. If they take a bad strategic approach to pointing, it’s on them, not you. Don’t take it personal and by all means, let your darts do your talking!
I’ve seen some really stupid stuff. Like the guy who threw for points needing only one bull to win. That’s just plain ignorant. And probably unsportsmanlike. Don’t be that guy. And more importantly don’t let that guy drag you down to his level.
Let me finish with a story about me. I was playing a person who is not only an outstanding darter that I admire and respect, but also a friend. In a tournament cricket game he opened with a 9-mark, all 20s. And I was pissed because to my way of thinking after 60 points, I’d have moved on to another number. Of course, an angry darter is a crappy darter and I lost the match. Afterwards I said some words I almost immediately regretted. After I calmed down and apologized we had a nice talk. He said he was really surprised by my reaction. He said he stayed on the 20s for two reasons: he was “feeling” that number and he respected me enough as a player to figure out he was going to need those points to beat me.
And that’s really the lesson in a nutshell, isn’t it? Make the third dart work for you and don’t take it personal. One man’s “excessive pointing” is another man’s show of respect.
Interesting speculation on how it might go down in North Korea.
In a 1950s kinda mood…
Planes, trains, and automobiles…
Driver education.
Look out lady! There’s some dead animals around your neck!
Did you ever wonder who started that “couples dressing alike” craze?
But lest you get too nostalgic, the 50s were pretty creepy in many ways…
…and the 8th Army takes “a hell of a beating”.
No, I’m not talking about the fine Neil Young song. We made a weekend sojourn to Naksan Beach on the sea that is not of Japan but is instead simply East.
In the past I’ve always driven but seeing as how I don’t have a car here now, we took the bus. We had the Express direct to Sokcho and hopped another for the short ride to Naksan. About 3 hours total (not counting 50 minutes on the subway to the bus terminal).
We did make one comfort stop along the way. I was a little nervous when I saw that we were in “Gang Land” but I didn’t spot any Crips or Bloods, so it was all good.
As is our custom, Jee Yeun took charge of securing our beachfront lodging. Our regular place only had one room available (we went with another couple) and most of the places wouldn’t discount their prices (getting a cheap room is a matter of honor to Jee Yeun). Apparently, October is still high season at Naksan because of all the folks enjoying autumn colors at Seoraksan coming down to the beach to sleep. We wound up getting both nights at the place pictured above for W125,000, a reduction of W15,000 from the initial asking price. Score!
The view from the room.
The aforementioned other couple, Lonnie and Jaime.
And yes, here is the evidence that I was in fact on the beach. But not in the water.
Truth be told, there’s not a lot of nightlife in Naksan. So, we made our own–Korean style. Which is defined as drinking beer in front of the 7/11 store and watching the people pass by. It is actually more fun than it sounds.
There must be 50 places serving fresh seafood in Naksan. Three of us weren’t feeling fishy, so we found the one place that served samgyupsal. We cooked it up with garlic, kimchi, and onions and it was indeed a tasty treat. And no worries, Jee Yeun got her raw fish the next night.
Next morning we made the short hike up to Naksansa, the famous Buddhist Temple. You can read some history, including the tragic fire of 2005, at the link. The hilltop setting overlooking the ocean is really incredible.
It ‘s probably bad form to take a photograph of Jee Yeun during worship, but I tried to be discreet. If I ever prostrated myself like that I’d never be able to get back up.
Jee Yeun also paid her respects to Haesugwaneumsang (Bodhisattva of Mercy), known as the goddess Gwanseeum-Bosal (no, I don’t know what I’m talking about, I lifted that from Wikipedia).
Did I mention how beautiful it is there?
Lonnie is the bald miguk in this picture.
Lonnie and Jaime pause to reflect on the beauty of their surroundings while contemplating the deeper meanings of life. Me, I was just trying to catch my breath.
The temple bell. Being the irreverent punk that I am, I couldn’t help but imagine how it would be if you put a man between the clanger and the bell. Talk about a nutcracker!
Naksan Beach as seen from the temple grounds.
Jee Yeun replenishes the water bottle for our trip back down the mountain. Or hill as that young whippersnapper Lonnie called it.
So, while Jee Yeun and I napped, Lonnie and Jamie taxied out to Seoraksan for more hiking. Later on we reconvened at the convenience store for some beer drinking. Up and down the main drag these horse drawn carriages hauled smiling Korean folk while blaring “Gangnam-style”. One time of that was more than enough, believe me. But what we saw was even more distressing. These were not even full size horses, and they were pulling heavy carriages fully laden with people. At a fast trot. That’s what got to me. I’ve done carriage rides, but at never more than a walk. With strong draft horses doing the pulling. These little guys were huffing and puffing, and in the two plus hours we watched they never got a break. Lonnie couldn’t take it anymore, so he bought a huge carrot which the horse pictured above surely did enjoy. Then it was back to work for him and we moved on to the beach to burn some money fireworks.
We were feeling the craving for some beer with pizza to wash it down, so we did that. I was also getting close to drunk enough for some…
…norebang! Ah yes, Saturday night is not complete without the traditional Korean singing room. I’m told that when I sing folks can literally feel my pain. Or maybe they just feel pain. One of those.
And all too soon our quiet weekend on the beach was drawing to an end. We caught the bus in front of the local K-Mart. It was not the express bus to Seoul, in fact it was the direct opposite. We crawled at a stop-and-go pace all the way over Seoraksan and down into the valley below. Once we reached the 4-lane things hadn’t much improved so the driver made an announcement in Korean which must have been “hey, hold onto your seats, I know a shortcut!” Lordy, lordy, we were back in some mountains and this time it was a one lane road. Which our bus amply filled. Fortunately there was not much traffic, but when we did encounter another vehicle they’d pull over as far as they could and we’d somehow manage to squeeze by.
Ah well, six hours later we were back in lovely Seoul. And so ends this tale of adventure from Korea. Stay tuned!
I applied for a fiancee visa for Jee Yeun in January. In June I was told more information was required, which I dutifully and promptly submitted. In August I got the good news that the United States Customs and Immigration Service had approved the application and the package had been transmitted to the State Department’s National Visa Center. Hooray!
On August 21 the State Department advised that my visa package was being transferred to the embassy in Seoul. The letter further advised:
“Your fiance will soon receive a packet with instructions from the consular section on how to apply for the K1 visa and what documents will be required.”
So here it is mid-October and said packet has not arrived. Today we journeyed out to the embassy complex to find out why. Arrived at ten minutes after eleven only to be told that the immigration office is closed for lunch until one o’clock. Must be one helleva lunch those folks eat.
We cooled our heels at the local Burger King (I had the Whopper set) and then reappeared at immigration at the appointed hour. Well, the first window that opened said they couldn’t help me and sent me to another window. Unoccupied and unattended as it were. I rang the buzzer and a young woman appeared. I presented her with the letters from USCIS and State and she advised that I had to schedule an appointment online in accordance with the instructions in the packet I was sent.
I took a deep breath and then another and said “the reason we are here is that we never received said packet in the mail”. And she said, “oh no, we don’t mail them, we send them via email.” Ok, well I never got them in my email either. To which she replied “maybe it went to your spam box’. Maybe so, but what do I do now that I’m standing here in front of you? She had to check and disappeared for awhile. When she returned she had a copy of the transmittal letter (which had today’s date on it) and asked me to confirm the email address was correct. It was. So, she said she’d send it again and told me to be sure and check my spam box. Okay, will do.
Got back home and sure enough the packet had come by email right after I left the embassy. Nothing in the old spam box though.
So, the long awaited packet with instructions requires certain actions (like a physical examination) and submission of documents (almost all of which I submitted in the original visa application). But alrighty, we’ll get it all done (again).
Unless I get killed jaywalking.