On the one hand

Posted on 12/February/2015 by John McCrarey

I have prevailed in my battle with Blue Cross for reimbursement of a claim for my comprehensive physical at Soonchunhwang hospital last April. They paid $1288. on a bill of $1378., which is admittedly pretty sweet. But they didn’t make it easy.

On the other hand, I have to pay the insurance on my stateside house, which coincidentally is $1300. So, I guess the universe (or at least my bank account) is in balance.

I had to chuckle over a cc: email I received regarding my security clearance application. It basically said “this guy held a higher level clearance than you are asking for now, so we don’t need to do another background investigation”. Which is what I’ve been saying all along. Anyway, I now have the clearance required for me to be permitted to utilize the DoD computer network.

So, I spent the better part of my non-work day today at the Yongsan office of my employer trying to get my access to said computer network squared away. I have to submit a form with my electronic signature to request access, which of course means I have to do it online. And while I have succeeded in getting my electronic signature to work, I can’t submit the required form because I can’t access the computer network. Someone should write a book about military Catch-22’s. Oh wait, they did.

Anyway, I think the problem is that I’m still in the system under my former life as a civilian employee. I now need to be re-designated as a contractor, but my efforts to accomplish that online were fruitless “that SSN is already being utilized by an account holder” was all I could get from AKO (Army Knowledge Online). Which means I’m going to have to speak with a human being on the help desk back in the states. Which I guess will mean staying up late one of these nights.

Well, I did manage to take the required training that is a prerequisite for being granted access to the network. It took over an hour and was pretty much common sense. I really liked the section on identifying “internal security threats”. It was a little interactive game where you had to note the classic characteristics of ~~Edward Snowden~~ someone who wants to steal and misuse government secrets. I caught all of those deceptive bastards!

I passed the final exam and will upload the results. Once I’m granted access to the network. Which can’t happen until I’ve uploaded the results.

And the circle remains unbroken.

Where did I leave off?

Posted on 10/February/2015 by John McCrarey

Oh yeah, it was Friday. Well, I did my half-day of duty at K-16. Zero customers, but loneliness is in my job description. Apparently. I have mastered the fine art of sleeping on the paid bus ride back to Yongsan though, so there’s that.

I then hiked into Itaewon and enjoyed some beers at Shenanigans before moving next door to Dolce Vita for the Friday night darts tournament. Didn’t have much success during the tourney, but my ticket was drawn for the trip shoot (3 darts at the triple of a randomly drawn number). I managed to hit two triple 16s, which was good for a sweet W180,000.

Saturday night found me back at Shenanigans for a meet-up with my nephew Justin.

Justin brought along his language exchange partner Yeonwook, who was plenty friendly.

Justin has a birthday this week, so Jeonwook snuck out to Baskin-Robbins and returned with an ice cream birthday cake. Beer and ice cream, better than you might think.

Justin has a birthday this week, so Yeonwook snuck out to Baskin-Robbins and returned with an ice cream birthday cake. Beer and ice cream, better together than you might think.

This coming weekend Justin will be joining the wife and I on a trip down to Busan, or more likely, Haeundae beach. I reckon I’m about due for a change of scenery.

On Sunday, it was back to Itaewon yet again for some Singles League dart action.

I’ve been on a roll, but admittedly I have yet to play the top players in the league. I’ll get my comeuppance one day soon.

I do believe Monday morning was the coldest day I’ve experienced since my return to Korea. It was a chilling walk to the subway and then to the bus station on Yongsan. By the afternoon it had warmed up considerably so I figured my afternoon hike would be more pleasant. But right at quitting time it began to snow.

Actually, the snow was more pleasant than the biting wind had been. Plus, it is kinda pretty.

Monday night was the pub league match against our sister team from Dillinger’s bar. They are by far the best team in Itaewon which they amply demonstrated by handing us an old fashioned ass kicking. My 1-8 performance certainly did not help.

In other news, I’m still holding on to some fading hopes that I might substantially improve my employment situation. Everyone professes to want me back, except the one person who doesn’t know me, who is also the person I’d be working for should I be hired. I have reason to believe that her reluctance stems from a fear that as the former boss I might not adapt well to being a worker bee. Although truth be told, that’s exactly what I prefer to be. Anyway, I gave her a call on Monday and said I’d like the opportunity to sit down with her and address whatever concerns she may have about me. She agreed to do that, but wasn’t able to say when. I gave her my phone number and now I will await a call that may or may not come.

Today I have frittered away the hours in the depths of a CIV IV game.

And that’s about it for this iteration of my so-called life.

Gone but not forgotten

Posted on 06/February/2015 by John McCrarey

(In celebration of ten years of blogging here at LTG, each week for the next5251 50 49 ~~48 47~~ 46 45 weeks I will delve deep into the ~~sewer~~ archives of past posts to bring you a tidbit of blog history. I had originally planned to call this series “The best of LTG”, but damn, there just wasn’t much “best” to be found. And mediocre is too hard to spell.)

Best picture I have available at the moment.

In 2008 I was Remembering Linda Ketner on the fourth anniversary of her passing. She was my best friend and soul mate. I’m still missing her. I wonder how she would react to the twists and turns my life has taken since she left this world. Actually, I know. She’d laugh at the silly boy who can never seem to get things quite right. Then she’d give me a hug and tell me that I’ll get there. Eventually.

Thank you for that.

The steps of Itaewon

Posted on 05/February/2015 by John McCrarey

The world famous “arch of Itaewon”. Suck it St. Louis!

Ah, Itaewon. The infamous foreigner district of Seoul. Well known for it’s eclectic international dining options, vibrant nightlife, and plenty of sleaze for those depraved enough to seek it out. I like it!

Now, I’m into the darting scene and I’d wager Itaewon hosts the greatest concentration of dart bars in the known world. But do you know what’s more ubiquitous than the pubs? Coffee shops! Korean’s surely do love their coffee.

Today I had occasion to be out and about in Itaewon during daylight hours and I decided to answer a question I’ve long pondered: just how far away are you from a caffeine fix should the need strike? Here’s what I discovered.

Starting at the arch pictured above, I walked 55 steps and encountered this bastion of a little known coffee chain:

It’s a long way from Seattle…

I ventured forward another 80 steps to find:

Ediya is a pretty large chain in Korea, but this is a rather small outlet.

And then I entered a coffee desert, walking around 140 steps before I arrived at:

I couldn’t be bothered to get a decent photo (I felt like a freakin’ tourist as was), but this coffeesmith is huge, the photo captures about 1/3 of its frontage…

Now, for those folks who can’t go that kind of distance without coffee, you might have the good fortune to encounter this:

The coffee ajumma and her cart of goodness…

Another 100 or more steps led me to a virtual coffee oasis:

Neal’s Yard Coffee on this side of the street…

And directly across the street there’s this:

A gigantic Tom N Tom’s coffee house…

And right next door to Tom N Tom’s:

An equally large Marley's Coffee. Which strikes me as a more appropriate name for an Amsterdam-style coffee shop...

An equally large Marley Coffee. Which strikes me as a more appropriate name for an Amsterdam-style coffee shop…

A short walk past the Hamilton Hotel and you encounter:

Holly’s Coffee, which appears to be larger than Tom N Tom’s and Marley combined…

And I think Holly’s next door neighbor is larger still:

Definitely giving Homestead the best signage award. I really dig that coffee cup!

If you don’t think bigger is better, you can just pop across the street:

To the second coffeesmith in Itaewon. Up until a couple of months ago, this was a Starbucks…

Onward we must go, and it isn’t far until we see:

A Nescafe cafe. Not to be redundant…

Or perhaps you like to dunk a donut in your coffee:

Have at it! Now, that NY Hotdog Coffee place is technically on a side street, and I’m limiting this expose to the main drag in Itaewon…

Less than a hundred more steps until you can quench your coffee hankering here:

The secret to a good cup of Joe starts with the bean, right?

I don’t know if this is German or not, but it’s next door to the establishment pictured above:

Hell, I don’t know what that is supposed to mean. Reminds me of the internet for some reason…

But wait, there’s more!

This is sort of a specialty dessert with your coffee kind of place. Or so I’ve been led to believe…

And then, right across the road you can get a coffee and chocolate craving satisfied…

And making like a bookend, Starbucks has also anchored the other end of Itaewon…

Another monstrous venue for coffee…

I've always considered the Chiel building to be the line of demarcation--Itaewon ends, Hannam-dong begins. Plus I used to live just behind the Chiel back in the good ol' days...

I’ve always considered the Cheill building to be the line of demarcation–Itaewon ends, Hannam-dong begins. Plus I used to live just behind the Cheil back in the good ol’ days…

So, there you have it. Roughly six city blocks and no less than 16 coffee houses. And that’s not counting places like McDonald’s and restaurants that will happily serve up some java upon request. Additionally, every alley and back street is replete with hole-in-the-wall style coffee shops..

And if you are broke and desperate, there’s always this option:

A taste of Joe for the Korean equivalent of 40 cents…

Now, I suppose regular readers may be wondering what the hell I was doing in Itaewon during daylight hours. The sad fact of the matter is I ~~lost~~ misplaced a key that I require, and the only place I know that makes American-style keys is in the heart of Itaewon. I figured if I was going to go through the hassle of making the trip in from Gireum-dong I’d at least generate a blog post while I was it.

And since I had to go on base to pick up some mail (what I hoped was a royalty check from my inherited oil leases, but alas, it was just the notice about Uncle Sam taking his ~~fair~~ share) I did a little shopping for some necessities.

Propane for the gas grill…

A resupply of diet Cokes. I squeezed 36 cans into my backpack, a new record, but quite the backbreaker. Why 36 cans all at once you ask? Because they were three 12-packs for ten bucks, or $4.50 each. Yeah, I’m a cheap bastard.

I also brought home an 8 piece Popeye’s chicken dinner and two Whopper Jr.’s (Jee Yeun loves them for some reason).

And so ends today’s big adventure.

Aren’t I?

Posted on 03/February/2015 by John McCrarey

all signs point to yes.

As I noted in this post, last week I walked out on my team over what amounted to nothing more than a misunderstanding (and my being a dick about it). After stewing on it all week I made the decision to rejoin the team in time for last night’s action at the Friends bar. I reviewed the joint back in 2009, and let’s just say things have not improved. In fact, it is the only venue I have seen that still allows smoking inside, a direct contravention of Korean law. But then, the bartender’s poodle sat on the bar for most of the night which must violate some health law or another. “Rules? We don’t need no stinkin’ rules” would be an appropriate motto for this establishment, which not so coincidentally is located smack dab in the middle of Hooker Hill.

Anyway, I’m not complaining. Much. I played well enough to go 3-3 in my singles matches, and 3-0 with my doubles partner. They are a strong all-Korean team so it was gratifying to take home a dominating 27-12 victory. It was a fun night and everyone got along affirming that my decision to stick by my commitment to this team was the right one.

I rarely venture up “the Hill” these days. But there was a time when I spent many hours in a tiny little bar called Debut. I dropped by for a quick beer on my way home. Nothing stays the same I suppose. Not even me.

This photo of me on the Debut Wall of ~~Shame~~ Fame circa 2006 is still there. The person I was back then has moved on. (I’m the guy in the suit and tie if you’re wondering).

And the journey continues. Stay tuned.

Day of days

Posted on 02/February/2015 by John McCrarey

I’ve been throwing darts for going on ten years now, but I’ve never had a performance anything like this.

A 15-dart game. Of course, the pro’s can do it in 9, but I ain’t no pro.

It was especially sweet because I finished the game prior to this one with a 157 out, so that’s 6 straight throws of 100 or more. Of course, I couldn’t keep up that kind of pace, but I threw well for the rest of the afternoon.

I needed all those good darts because my opponent was also having a good day…

I actually was not scheduled to play James at all. I won my scheduled match 14-2 and then took pity on James who had been stood up by his opponent. I was thinking it was a mistake for me to play a second match because I was already pretty ~~drunk~~ tired. But I found the zone and wound up having my best ever. Go figure.

A great adventure

Posted on 31/January/2015 by John McCrarey

(In celebration of ten years of blogging here at LTG, each week for the next5251 50 49 ~~48 47~~ 46 weeks I will delve deep into the ~~sewer~~ archives of past posts to bring you a tidbit of blog history. I had originally planned to call this series “The best of LTG”, but damn, there just wasn’t much “best” to be found. And mediocre is too hard to spell.)

If you define adventure as my first ever ambulance ride and my first encounter with a Korean emergency room, that is. It had me in stitches anyway. I wrote all about that fateful day nine years ago in Stupid is as stupid does.

Now, to this day I maintain the incident was not alcohol related. Granted, I had been drinking but I was not drunk. Some say I tripped, but I think the combination of standing abruptly while coughing and laughing simultaneously caused me to black out. Whatever the case, the next day I looked like this:

That bites

Posted on 29/January/2015 by John McCrarey

I invited a friend and fellow blogger Kevin Kim out for dinner at the Oasis in the Dragon Hill Lodge on Yongsan Garrison. I was really looking forward to the Mexican buffet (which also features some pretty nice barbecue) and I’m sure he was too. I even had the foresight to go online and confirm they were open for dinner on Wednesday night. So, I was sorely disappointed when we arrived only to be greeted by sign saying “closed for repairs”. Thanks for keeping your webpage updated. Bastards.

We settled for dinner at another DHL eatery, Greenstreets. It was fine I suppose, just not what I had anticipated or wanted. Kevin did the Reuben sandwich and I had some surf and turf (sirloin steak and salmon). Kevin proclaimed the Reuben tasty, despite some sogginess in the bottom portion of bread. My meal was good, but not spectacular. Well, the baked potato was disappointing–not sure when it was baked but it was barley warm.

Anyway, we had a nice chat over dinner and then Kevin, as is his wont, hiked the 20,000 steps back to his residence. I opted for the subway.

I hope he’ll give me the opportunity to redeem myself by sharing the promised Mexican buffet at some date in the future.

SSSL Week 1

Posted on 27/January/2015 by John McCrarey

I’m posting the weekly stats for our singles league here for easier access by league members. The usual good stuff is still around, just scroll down…

2015SSSLStandings1

2015SSSLDetailedStandings1-2

2015SSSLLeaderboard1-2 2015Seoul

Sunday Singles League Power Rankings1

Drama queen

Posted on 27/January/2015 by John McCrarey

Regular readers know how much I despise dart league drama. Which makes it especially distressing to report what a little bitch I was last night.

I finished work and arrived back at Yongsan as per usual at 1600. Grabbed me some dinner at Popeye’s on base then hoofed it into Itaewon. Had a couple of beers at Shenanigans while I awaited the the 6:00 p.m. opening of Dolce Vita. Got in some practice at DV and then made my way over to Dillinger’s where my team (Dartitis Quarantine) was playing the opening match of the season against Gecko’s.

I arrived at 7:10, and the match was scheduled to begin at 7:30. Other than a couple of greetings no one said anything to me. Our regular team Captain was out sick. And then the match started, so I looked at the score sheet and saw I had not been scheduled for the first round of singles. We had five players, and only four can play so someone has to sit. And that was me. I mentioned to another player that I was surprised to not be playing and he said “you were the last one to arrive”. And for whatever reason that set me off, especially since I’d spent the last hour warming up at DV. I’m not the best thrower on the team, but I’m also not the worst. So, it didn’t seem that we were putting our strongest lineup up against a tough opponent.

As I set there stewing on it, I just decided to say “fuck it” and leave. The team didn’t really need me and I was feeling unappreciated. So I walked out on the team. I sent a message to the absent Captain saying I knew it was a dick move, but it didn’t seem like I was a good fit for the team.

He didn’t respond until this morning, and it was a terse “do what you gotta do. A little more notice would have been nice so we could fill the team”. I replied that I wouldn’t have left if the team was short a player, but with four other guys I was not needed. He answered that my saying I was not a good fit for the team implied that I had quit for the season and that is what he had told the team. Which I take to mean I’ve been fired.

Anyway, I was way out of line. Upon *ahem* sober reflection this morning I recognize that my behavior was totally unacceptable. I sent a message to my teammates apologizing and a couple have been gracious in their acceptance of said apology. And that’s where things stand. I’ve not decided on next steps, although if I want to play I’m sure I can find a team that would be happy to have me. Even if I’ve become the stereotypical grumpy old man.

After my premature departure from Dillinger’s I returned to DV and worked on drowning my sorrows with frosty mugs of Cass beer. An acquaintance named Brad came in and joined me at the bar and we spent a delightful couple of hours chatting about politics and the minds and hearts of Korean women. Honestly speaking, I enjoyed that much better than I would have playing darts in my foul mood.

I got on the subway for the ride home and realized I didn’t have my darts. Texted the owner of Dillinger’s who found them where I’d left them upstairs, so they are in safe keeping for now. Although he did threaten to sell them to buy me some diapers. Which of course is the kind of abuse I have so rightfully earned.

And so it goes.

On this day

Posted on 25/January/2015 by John McCrarey

Ah, Sunday. Did my usual this morning. Which means perusing Facebook and exploring the internets. Enjoyed this story from blog buddy Kevin Kim in which he relates an encounter with the Korean police (it’s about midway through the post). As far as I can ascertain, he was guilty of WWW–walking while white. Or half-white anyway.

It’s just doesn’t pay to be melanin challenged these days.

Today is also the first day of the new Seoul Sunday Singles League season. I founded and administer the league, and I’ve been busy with various preparatory tasks (schedules, rosters, stat spread sheets and the like). Match play begins at 5:00, and I believe all stands in readiness.

Prior to utilizing the traditional darts aiming fluid (aka beer), I have found preparing an appropriate foundation is beneficial. Today I went with burritos.

Browning a pound of American ground beef…

The secret to success is using the right combination of seasonings. Or you can do it my way and buy a mix.

Lettuce, tomato, green onion, cheese, salsa and something to wrap them in. I find tortillas work best…

And it comes out looking something like this. Your results may vary.

Time to shower up and journey into Itaewon for a evening of darting.

A fucking grammar lesson

Posted on 24/January/2015 by John McCrarey

Not that I give a fuck.

When you assume…

Posted on 24/January/2015 by John McCrarey

…you make an ass of you and me. Or so says an old saw.

Today I had the occasion to write the word “assassin”. I had never previously noticed that this word contains “ass” twice. Back to back. Asses rubbing together as it were.

It’s an amazing world when you stop and think about it.

Through the years

Posted on 23/January/2015 by John McCrarey

(In celebration of ten years of blogging here at LTG, each week for the next 5251 50 49 48 47 weeks I will delve deep into the ~~sewer~~ archives of past posts to bring you a tidbit of blog history. I had originally planned to call this series “The best of LTG”, but damn, there just wasn’t much “best” to be found. And mediocre is too hard to spell.)

Ten years ago today I arrived In the Republic of Korea for the first time. That post was pretty much all about my first time making that gawd-awful long-ass trip across the Pacific. I do remember when they closed the aircraft door at Dulles I had a moment where I was going “oh shit, what have I got myself into”. I guess it turned out okay.

The bird what brought me.

One year in I was thinking I was half-way done with my time in Korea and reflected on all that I still hoped to accomplish. And that was the day I got invited to join the dart league!

I didn’t mark another Korean anniversary until what I assumed would be the last in Korea in a post called 5-year yoja. A lot had happened in those intervening years, some of it bad (my time here cost me a wife I truly did love in my fucked up fashion) and some of it good (I met the wife I have). Of course, in January 2010 I thought I’d be retiring and moving to the Philippines. Things change.

Back in the day I was doing a regular series here on LTG called “Yoja of the Week”. Those photos still generate a fair amount of traffic from folks who come here via Google searches.
This lovely is the popular Korean actress Han Chae Young.

And so it goes. Or went.

In security

Posted on 22/January/2015 by John McCrarey

I spent the morning completing a raft of forms and questionnaires documenting where I’ve lived, where I’ve worked, and what trouble (if any) I’ve gotten myself into these past several years. I then I had to provide names, addresses and phone numbers for individuals who could vouch for my whereabouts, employment status, and general good character.

Having filled in all the blanks with all the information requested (often redundantly), I was off to Camp Kim to have two complete sets of my fingerprints inked onto paper. With that task complete, I carried all my documents over to the Security Officer on Yongsan Garrison. He wasn’t in, so I left them with his KATUSA. Provided all my “t’s” were dotted and “i’s” crossed appropriately, I will be given a link and password for eQIP, the “Personnel Security Investigation Portal”. As I understand it, I will then enter virtually the same data that I delivered on paper today. Gotta love the government!

This process is necessary so that I may be given access to the military’s computer network. As simple and mundane as my current workplace responsibilities are, I’ve only been doing half of them since I am unable to enter data into the GoArmyEd application. A co-worker has been graciously doing that portion of my job, but of course my boss would prefer I be fully functional. It’s all a little frustrating since I previously held a “secret” clearance which was supposedly archived when I retired. Alas, all that documentation has mysteriously disappeared. I blame Edward Snowden. Bastard.

Anyway, having taken care of business (on my own dime by the way) I headed on over to the commissary to restock the larder.

Here’s what I bought for $104.46…

Here’s how I carried said groceries home…

And here’s how they looked when I unpacked them…

Obviously, I love the benefit of shopping in what is essentially an American grocery store. But schlepping the shit home is a real pain in the ass. Today I took the 143 bus to Gireum. The bus stop is several blocks from the commissary gate (and the commissary is a block or so from the gate). I had the good fortune of having a seat on the bus, but it was still a 45 minute ride. There was a heater blowing right under my seat directly onto my bag with my frozen foods, but they seemed to weather the trip okay. Another three blocks walking from the stop in Gireum to the apartment, and my arms were screaming. There’s got to be a better way.

We have what appears to be an oven in the new place, so I excitedly set about baking up a batch of walnut brownies. Alas, either it is not a convection oven or it was in broil mode because within five minutes there was smoke and burned brownie batter. Damn it.

At least the steaks and samgyapsal turned out okay…

And the view while grilling wasn’t bad either…

And so goes another day in paradise.

Bang bang

Posted on 21/January/2015 by John McCrarey

All I said was “Want to join me for some bosintang, Mr. Wick?”

Speaking of insults, you might enjoy this piece on the Top Ten Devastating Insults in History. Hell, even The Buddha made the list.

And that’s really all I got tonight.

Korean girls eat American

Posted on 19/January/2015 by John McCrarey

Snacks.

I thought it was pretty funny. I’m sure a video of Americans eating some Korean delicacies would be equally hilarious.

Upward over the mountain

Posted on 18/January/2015 by John McCrarey

(In celebration of ten years of blogging here at LTG, each week for the next 52 51 50 49 48 weeks I will delve deep into the ~~sewer~~ archives of past posts to bring you a tidbit of blog history. I had originally planned to call this series “The best of LTG”, but damn, there just wasn’t much “best” to be found. And mediocre is too hard to spell.)

Four years ago I wrote about my mother’s death in a post called All you need is love.

She did not “go gentle into that goodnight”. She loved life and fought to hold onto it as long as she could. It was a painful and heartbreaking thing to witness her struggle, but I’m thankful I could be there with her to provide what little comfort I could give.

I miss her of course, but I don’t know that I still actively grieve her passing. But I cried yesterday as I re-read the posts about her death, her funeral, and the void she left in the lives of those who loved her.

Still, she lives on in the memory of her children and grandchildren. Her life was not an easy one, but in the end her thoughts were only about the power of love. She urged us to love and to be loved because that was all that really mattered.

I’m trying my best mom.

My mother and I in happier times.

Mother don’t worry, I killed the last snake that lived in the creek bed
Mother don’t worry, I’ve got some money I saved for the weekend
Mother remember being so stern with that girl who was with me
Mother remember the blink of an eye when I breathed through your body

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten
Sons are like birds flying upwards over the mountain

Saving a legacy

Posted on 18/January/2015 by John McCrarey

A fascinating story: “A stranger e-mailed saying he planned to kill himself. What was I supposed to do?”

The guy walked across the country in his twenties in order to have his story heard. Forty plus years later he’s teaching English in Japan, blogging and still writing books no one reads.

And then the day came when he had said everything he wanted to say.

Worth the read.

Let’s not go down that road!

Posted on 17/January/2015 by John McCrarey

And while we are at it, there’s this: