I completed my final Hash with the Humphreys Hangover Hash House Harriers yesterday. “On out” is Hash-speak for “goodbye”.
The “on-in” (the gathering spot at the end of the trail) was at Wolfhound Pub. Left to right: Young Dum Cum, Cum Together, and the day’s Hare, Shamu Shagger.
I was awarded my first ever Hash patch. I’m told being given the “Big Dog” patch is a pretty big deal. Thanks guys!
Come next Monday I’ll be joining my new kennel, the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers. Looking forward to that!
Today was the beginning of my last week as a working man. But I ain’t working particularly hard. Tying up some loose ends, like the performance evaluations for my senior staff. I also took care of some stuff at the bank, did my change of address with the post office, ordered copies of my medical records, and that pretty much took care of the day.
Tomorrow is my official retirement luncheon at the Flightline Grill on base. I really don’t like being the center of attention, and it seems a little strange given that I had a previous retirement ceremony back in 2010. Oh well, I understand the gesture and I am appreciative.
I took the long walk home from work today, probably the last time I’ll take that route in this lifetime.
“I spent the longest decade of my life one year in Anjeong-ri” Well, I have come full circle. They were planting the rice when I arrived and now they are cultivating as I depart. Ah, the seasons of our life.
Tonight I’ve been invited to join Dela and Daniel for dinner in their fancy new apartment at the Brownstone. Another day, another goodbye.
And so it goes. For four more days anyway.
Well I’m not the kind to live in the past
The years run too short and the days too fast
The things you lean on are the things that don’t last
Well it’s just now and then my line gets cast into these
Time passages
There’s something back here that you left behind
Oh time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight
Hear the echoes and feel yourself starting to turn
Don’t know why you should feel
That there’s something to learn
It’s just a game that you play
Winding it down and winding it up. Completed my final drunken weekend in Anjeong-ri, featuring competing in my last IDK dart tourney. Took a fourth, which was disappointing. Understandable though since I haven’t found the motivation to get off my lazy ass and practice. But I’m resolved to re-dedicate myself to the sport after the move. I’ll have some hours to fill once I arrive and that should be a productive use of some of that time.
I’ve been thinking about the big move as the day rapidly approaches. I’ve obviously made many moves in my life, starting with moving out of my parent’s house when I was a lad of 17. But I’ve never made a move quite like this one. When I left California, where I was born and raised, for Arizona, I took along my wife and children and transferred with my letter carrier job. A few years later I was both divorced and heartbroken when I moved alone to Oklahoma. In some ways, that move most resembles this one. I sold everything I owned that didn’t fit in my car and started over. But, I was also going to be rejoining with my kids and mother and I still had a job, so in that way it differs.
I eventually remarried and took a big promotion in South Carolina. Later on, a new job and a new wife in Virginia. The big change in my life was moving to Korea in January 2005. Big culture shock both in learning about an Asian country and adapting to my new employer, the U.S. Army. I wound up loving both! So much so that I didn’t want to return to the USA, which eventually cost me yet another wife.
And then the day came (December 31, 2010) when I first decided to retire. I had been planning to live in the Philippines, but Jee Yeun changed my mind about that. Instead we made a plan to live 6 months in the states and 6 months in Korea. That worked for me. Until it didn’t work for her anymore. Not going to open that old wound now, suffice to say I came back to Korea and came back to work. Having completed the circle it is once again time to retire and this time I’ll follow through on the plan to live in the PI, for better or worse.
Is it a little scary? To be honest, yes. At least in the sense that I’m going to be exploring uncharted territory on my own. My many previous moves have not been anything like the one I’m preparing to make now. The biggest differences are that I will be alone and unemployed. A job gives you a built-in social network and a sense of purpose and belonging. I know I’ll make friends (already have one in Manila) and I’ll get settled into my routines. In time I’m sure it will feel like home. It’s just a bit disconcerting dealing with all the unknowns. Well, that’s what makes it an adventure I suppose.
No, not the last time because it killed me, the last time because I’m moving next week.
The trail that leads to the top…
A view along the way…
such a pretty day it was impossible to take a bad picture…
well, ALMOST impossible to take a bad picture.
the park on the mountain…
the path to the park…
I was awake, so I guess this was a stream of consciousness…
Lots of ways to the top…wooden steps….
…or concrete steps.
The summit achieved.
My hiking companions for the day.
It’s Children’s Day, so I channeled my inner child.
Lots of good memories to go with the bad ones, but the memories I’ve yet to make are the important ones…
Six more days.
Puedes traerme tu amor
Adiós mi corazón how I love you
Puedes traerme tu amor
Adiós mi corazón
I hope the words are right
‘Cause they’re the only words
I know tonight
Oh! The nights are never ending
I don’t know why
No comprende
Days are longer than
You’ll ever know
Adiós mi corazón
Well, here in Korea folks are celebrating Children’s Day in the traditional fashion…
And of course, in Mexico the Cinco de Mayo celebrations are in full swing…
But the most important celebration on May 5 is the one honoring my first born grandchild’s birthday.
Ain’t she sweet?
Gracyn was born just a few months after I first arrived in Korea. And today she becomes a teenager! I’m not sure how that happened, all I know is I ain’t anywhere near old enough to have a teenaged grandchild.
Well, I guess you could say I’m feeling a little week today.
That’s right, in a mere seven days I’ll be boarding a plane and flying off to find a new, and hopefully better, life in the Philippines. Despite numerous visits there as a tourist I’m not sure what to expect as a full-time resident. The adventure I suppose will be in finding out what happens next.
I’ve pretty much come to terms with the idea of going it alone, at least to start. I’m resolved to not actively look for a girlfriend/companion. If “the one” for me is out there, she’ll find me. I’m just going to let nature take its course. It seems more practical anyway to allow things to occur in the natural fashion, like being introduced by mutual friends or maybe encountering each other at an event of common interest (the Hash, darts, etc.). Yeah, I’m a lonely guy and that makes me vulnerable. I need to toughen my ass (and heart) up and accept things as they are, rather than settle for something that may (or may not) be better than nothing.
I’ve not been real busy at work (shuddup!) which has given me time to peruse expat blogs and webpages about adapting to life in the Philippines. Picking up some good tips here and there which may help me avoid learning by making mistakes. One thing is clear, how well you adjust and how happy you are in the Philippines really comes down to your own attitude. I’m not known for my patience and I know going in I’m going to have to lower my expectations about certain aspects of life in the PI, and accept that things will not always go as I hope and desire them to be. For the expats that acknowledge the realities of life in a third world country and who recognize that the overall good aspects of life outweigh the bad, happiness awaits. For those who bitch, moan and complain about inconveniences and disappointments, well the best course is to get the fuck out and go home. I will endeavor mightily to be amongst the former.
One blog I read particularly resonated with me. In a post called “Finding your own path”, Reekay (a six year resident) wrote:
Which brings me to the point of ‘finding your own path’. I have said so many times to so many people, “The Philippines has been fantastic for me… but it’s not for everyone.” I stand by that. For me, the Philippines awakens all my senses afresh. My mind is alive and in full gear all over again, just like when I was a kid. Something new is around every corner. Food is different. People are different. The very air is different. Is it altogether ‘better’ than my life in the USA? In some ways, yes and in some ways, absolutely not. Going from a 1st-world country into a country that boasts not only some of the most beautiful and accessible topical landscapes, but also no shortage of poverty and distress is a change that not everyone can handle in stride.
I’ve mentioned before that this is one reason those of us Expats who run into each other on the streets or online in the Philippines have a common sense of respect for each other. It takes a certain type of adventurous spirit to not only endure the new environs and distance from ‘home’… but to thrive and truly enjoy a whole other culture to the fullest. That commonality of spirit gives us a certain bond of friendship that has nothing in common with those expats who arrive and simply complain of their plight here. We distance ourselves from those who made the move, but never accepted the culture of the new surroundings. We are adventurous and revel in our new surroundings. ‘They’ arrived only to live in frustration at their own displeasure of inconvenience. Our only statement to them is, “If you don’t like it, leave.”
What I have spent many hours in front of a bonfire in the province alone pondering is my resolve to be content in pursuing my own path. I truly wish I could have found the ‘one path’ that would make others as happy as I am with my own life. But there is no ‘one’ path. I see poverty in the USA and I see it in the Philippines. Despite a few dollars here and there to random people in need I encounter, I have no solution. I can’t sit down for a moment and say to one of the beggars, “Just do ‘this’ and ‘this’ and all will be well, my friend.” I have no such solution. I see sorrowful marriages or relationships and over the years I’ve tried to offer the best counsel I could to avert or stop the pain involved. Some people listen, some don’t. Each person has to determine for themselves the path they will take. I offer to point out a fork in the road; this way leads to more of the same misery.. this other way leads to a freedom from the situation. That is the best I can do. It is the new mantra that I hear myself saying now that I have been in-country for 16 months and it is this; “Everyone must find their own path.”
I suppose this is the tight-rope that must be navigated in a poor country when you are the ‘rich’ foreigner transplanted for the duration. Figuring out when, where and to whom some level of compassion or assistance is to be given to others. In a land where there is much desperation, there is much abuse of kind-hearted foreigners trying to navigate those waters. Countless are the expat stories of being lied to and defrauded of money by those who take the deceitful shortcut to survival. I do what I can to give warnings and how to avoid such situations, but again I’m reminded that each one must find their own path. Some must learn the hard way that trust cannot be given so quickly. Discernment as to when and to whom to give compassion or assistance is not something that can be bottled and dispersed like a tonic. Despite whatever good advice anyone may come across.. time and experience is what it boils down to.
I am happy with the path I’ve chosen. I wish I could do more for others but, the reality is I can only do so much. And maybe that’s okay. Few men ever change the whole world in a positive way. Perhaps making positive change to the few within our circle of influence is all we can really expect of ourselves.
That last paragraph is what I aspire to do…making my little corner of the world just a little bit better because of my presence there.
So, in my readings lots of writers point out how inexpensive it is to hire someone to make your life simple and worry free, touting that as one of the big benefits of living in the Philippines. Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve been there and done that. But, as many have pointed out, what I really did was try to purchase a relationship, and that effort was bound to fail. Lesson learned. Still, I would consider hiring a “helper” that could assist me in navigating the culture and in general just make my life as easy as possible. Obviously, this time around I would employ a person I’m not attracted to and keep everything strictly professional and platonic. We’ll see.
Before I can pursue that option I’ll need to find a house in which to live that would accommodate a live-in helper. I know the neighborhood I want (Alta Vista) but I’ve got to be on the ground to find an available rental.
This is the view I want to wake up to each morning:
If my Spanish is right, “Alta Vista” means “high view”. Works for me!
And this would be my dream house to wake up in:
I just have to be patient and look until I find just what I want. That’s why I plan to do a short term lease on a small apartelle while I walk the neighborhoods looking for home.
The search begins next week!
I saw my life this morning
Lying at the bottom of a drawer
All this stuff I’m saving
God knows what this junk is for
And whatever I believed in
This is all I have to show
What the hell were all reasons
For holding on for such dear life
Here’s where I let go
I’m not running
I’m not hiding
I’m not reaching
I’m just resting in the arms of the great wide open
Gonna pull my soul in
And I’m almost home
Another “last”, my final grocery shopping excursion to the commissary.
The new Humphreys store is the largest in the Pacific, if not the world….
….with a great selection of fruits and veggies….
And of course any kind of meat you might hunger for.
Now, obviously they have grocery stores in Olongapo. In fact, there are two great stores (Puregold and Royal) on the old Navy base that feature a nice selection of imported goods (i.e. things I like). Still nothing like the selection I’ve grown accustomed to and of course the prices at the commissary are very much lower. Oh well, I’ve already factored a larger grocery bill into my Philippines budget.
Meanwhile, the staff had some fun taking photos and using those filter things to alter them in cutesy ways.
Ah, they treat me like a King! I’m going to miss my loving work family most of all…
Mayday! Mayday! Let the final countdown commence! 10…
Back to my routine in Anjeong-ri. Seon Nyeo is one of my favorites. Introduced her to 50s rock-n-roll last night and she was crazy about it. Fun times…
Experienced another “last” and didn’t even know it. Returned from Seoul to discover Shooters bar has been torn down….
I was feeling down in the dumps when I returned from Seoul yesterday morning. Got in some good walking which helped restore my mental equilibrium. Really want to focus on the positive from here on out. Tear down those walls so to speak…
Thank you Fitbit! Hopefully I have many more miles to go in this lifetime’s journey…
Comes a time
when you’re driftin’
Comes a time
when you settle down
Comes a light
feelin’s liftin’
Lift that baby
right up off the ground.
Oh, this old world
keeps spinning round
It’s a wonder tall trees
ain’t layin’ down
There comes a time.
You and I we were captured
We took our souls
and we flew away
We were right
we were giving
That’s how we kept
what we gave away.
Oh, this old world
keeps spinning round
It’s a wonder tall trees
ain’t layin’ down
There comes a time.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.–Ralph Waldo Emerson
The final goodbye in Seoul turned out to be the hardest. No surprise there of course. Made it through the dinner and held back the tears until I was walking away. I didn’t look back.
You can’t live your life in sorrow and regret. I’m trying desperately to shake off the sadness that has followed me like a shadow since the day my former life ended. The weekend in Seoul was my symbolic funeral. The past is dead and buried. In eleven days I’ll be reborn into a new and uncharted life. My hope is that it will be a happy one. And of course, it is up to me to make that happen.
Some more photos from my farewell tour:
The dart crowd from my final tournament.
Some old friends showed up for a birthday party, so I gifted them with a photo opportunity. Yeah, I can be generous that way.
My final beer at Shenanigans with the nephew Justin and owner Willie.
Roused my blog buddy Kevin Kim for an early (for him) morning hike up Namsan. He did a much better job describing the day’s events than I ever could here. Please go give it a read. I certainly felt honored being featured on his blog!
Anyway, it was a beautiful day on the mountain and it was nice to have some company along to share another “last” in my Korean life. I won’t deny feeling a little melancholy, but there is always some sadness associated with endings I suppose.
Kevin says that the climb kicked his ass, but I’m not buying it. After all, this is the man who walked from Seoul to Busan at this time last year.
I guess Namsan came to be like an old friend to me. We spent a lot of time together during my last two years in Seoul. I’m a lesser man now thanks to this mountain!
After our climb and a walk around Itaewon and the local environs, Kevin insisted on treating me to a meal at our favorite Brazilian steak house–Tabom Brazil. As usual it was outstanding and we gorged ourselves on several varieties of meat, and seconds of course to make sure we maximized our bang for the buck, or Won as it were.
In a rather odd coincidence, Facebook reminded me that is was exactly four years ago that I met Kevin in person (although we had “met” online through our blogs and communicated with each other almost from the beginning of my time in Korea. I had blogged about that 3-D meeting in a post called “The nicest guy I’ve never met”. And during that first meeting we had dined together at, you guessed it, Tabom Brazil. It felt nice to come full-circle like that.
Kevin is heat averse, so he made clear he won’t be visiting the Philippines in this lifetime. We said our goodbyes, knowing our online relationship will continue as long as we do. Farewell and thanks again my friend!
After lunch I hurried back to the hotel, showered and changed, then headed out to Shenanigans to participate in my last ever Seoul International Dart League tournament. I didn’t play particularly well, but I got to see lots of old familiar faces and had a great time. Drank way too much of course, but that’s the nature of the game. At least for me.
It was good to see my oldest friend in Itaewon once again. Cheers Jim Dewey!
I was also honored with this sweet and delicious cake. Thanks Eve and Mike!
At the conclusion of the tournament the SIDL League President presented me with this memento in recognition of my many years of participation and service to the league. I was very surprised and moved. Thanks everyone!
Did I mention I got very drunk?
Thank goodness I found photographic evidence that I did in fact have dinner last night after the tourney. Not that I remember it…
Got up early-ish this morning to spend some time with another old friend–the Han River.
Did a 3 hour goodbye walk along her banks. It’s been swell, Han!
I took a break from my river walk to enjoy breakfast at the Original Pancake House in Itaewon. I was joined by my old friend and longtime housekeeper, Josie. Good luck to you always!
And that’s about it so far. Tonight is my last night in Seoul and I’m going to meet up with a few more folks this evening I reckon. And that will be that.
I’m letting go of the past as best I can, but I carry over 13 years of memories of my life in Korea with me. There’s a sadness associated with many of them because they relate to a life here I no longer have. My challenge is to not carry that sadness forward into my forthcoming new life in the Philippines. Yeah, I’m going to be me wherever I am, but I can choose to be the happy me. I’ve actually had a couple of people comment on the fact that I appear so much happier these days. I guess happiness is relative, but I do have much improved attitude and I am remaining very optimistic about the future. Whatever it may bring. In 12 days.
Oh oh letting go
There’s nothing in the way now,
Oh letting go, there’s room enough to fly
And even though, he’s spent his whole life waiting,
It’s never easy letting go.
Final meeting with the Korean Employee Union leaders, President Choe and Secretary-General Sohn.
The union presented me a very nice wallet, a KEU coin, and some bling as a going away gift.
And I treated them to some wonderful American BBQ at Manimals. They’d never had anything like it before and were quite impressed.
I’m going to really miss my Senior KN Labor Advisor, Ms. Choe. Been knowing her since she was an intern way back when. So proud of the strong and capable leader she has become.
After the meeting I was able to visit the phone store on base and cancel my SK plan effective 12 May. Then Jee Yeun treated me to a pedicure, which was nice. Got my vehicle inspected so I’ll be able to transfer title to the new owner before I leave. Good to be finalizing the little details necessary to cut the cord.
After work I headed out to Shenanigans. Good to be home in familiar places with familiar faces, although most of the staff is new now.
The menu hasn’t changed though and I enjoyed my personal favorite…pulled pork quesadilla…Yum.
Shot over to Scrooge Pub to say my goodbyes there and ran into an old friend from way, way back, Doug Moulton. He was the long time dart league Secretary in the early days of the league. So we had a nice visit and some drunken darts, then it was time to head back to the hotel.
This morning I’ll be meeting up with blog buddy Kevin Kim for a hike up Namsan and some lunch. Then I have a dart tourney this afternoon at Shenanigans. Should be a good day!
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it
The reaction of many (especially Koreans) when they hear about my forthcoming move to the Philippines is along the lines of “oh, but isn’t it dangerous there?” This can perhaps be attributed to the fact that anytime a Korean comes to a bad end in the PI it is headline news here. But the fact is that relatively speaking, the Philippines is just about as safe as anywhere you might choose to live. I’d certainly feel safer in Olongapo than I would in Chicago, Baltimore or L.A.
Which is not to say that there is not a certain “wild west” feel to place. The key to safety and security is to be situationally aware and to not take unnecessary risks. In other words, don’t do stupid shit. Foreigners do stand out in a crowd and are considered by many Filipinos to be wealthy, which relatively speaking, many of us are. So you don’t flaunt that wealth with ostentatious displays of fancy jewelry or other temptations for someone criminally inclined who is looking for an easy mark. I normally do not carry a wallet when I’m out and about as pickpockets can separate you from that with relative ease. I tend to carry only the amount of cash I will need for a particular outing, and I keep the large and small bills in separate pockets, usually closed with Velcro tabs.
I just purchased some security supplies from Amazon, including this “wear around your neck” wallet like thing. Doubt I’ll use it all the time, but there will be occasions where it might prove useful.
And check out this new brush. I can stash some cold cash inside where it will be handy but still out of sight from anyone with sticky fingers who might enter my lodging…
The other thing to keep in mind is to not piss off a local or cause them to lose face. That’s a big thing to a Filipino and given that it is relatively cheap to hire a hit (around $100 dollars, or so I’ve been told) and that many folks own guns (a right denied to foreigners) it just isn’t wise to get into disputes with the natives. I have every intention to keep a low profile, be friendly, and wear a smile whether I’m feeling it or not. Patience isn’t my virtue, but I will strive mightily to “take a deep breath, relax, and accept the Filipino way” whenever I find myself in frustrating circumstances.
To keep my luggage secure during my travels I have these fine new “TSA approved” locks. There have been recent reports of bags being rifled at some PI airports, so at least this will keep me from being an easy target. Not that I’ll have much of value inside my checked bags, but still…
The other thing that is different from my previous vacation trips is that I’ll be carrying a much more significant amount of cash. This is necessary because I won’t be able to open a Philippines bank account right away and I’m going to have some largish expenditures during that first month, assuming I find a suitable house to rent. Once I secure my visa I should be able to transfer funds from the USA to my PI bank account without too much trouble. Still, carrying a wad of cash increases the risk factor so I’ll need to be doubly on my guard. For example, a Facebook “friend” I’ve not yet met in person suggested I use her neighbor for my transport from Manila airport to Olongapo. At first I thought, sure why not?. Then I pictured myself never arriving in Olongapo, so I opted for the hotel shuttle driver I’ve used in the past. Once I’m there I’ll certainly look at hiring her friend as my driver (I’ll use a driver a couple of times a week for shopping excursions and the like). But I’ll want to meet him in person first.
So much for security, let’s look at my social life.
Joey and Sonya treated me to a fine farewell dinner at Braii Republic, a South African eatery here in town.
My team at work thought an afternoon outing to a nearby Catholic church was a good idea.
So off we went and the church grounds were in fact quite lovely…
Team DHRM rocks!
Then we all had dinner at a country style Korean restaurant featuring the traditional pancake…
….and fried gizzards. It was surprisingly tasty!
Last night I enjoyed a dinner invite from one of my Korean staff, Mr. So. He’s been with USFK for 48 years and last night was the final time we’ll be together (he’s going on leave and I’ll be gone when he comes back).
Mrs. So put out quite a spread. Actually, some of the best eating I’ve ever done in Korea. Very nice evening.
And now I’m off to Seoul for the final round of my farewell tour.
Winding down the days in this iteration of my career in government service. I’ve given almost 38 years of my life to Uncle Sam and I’m trying mightily to stay engaged and productive until the end. Truth is though that all that is really left to do is tie up some loose ends and clear the decks for my successor.
I’m on a committee with the American Embassy that reviews Special Immigration Visa applications from foreign nationals with long term and/or extraordinary service to the U.S. government. I met with them (well, I dialed in from Humphreys) for the final time this past week. It’s a responsibility I take to heart and I want to be sure that deserving individuals are given full and fair consideration for their requests to become permanent residents of the nation they have faithfully served. We voted to approve ten of the eleven applications. I had to advocate strongly for one person who had one blemish on an otherwise stellar career with USFK. In the end the panel voted 3-2 to accept his application and I felt really good about that. A small thing for me that potentially has a big impact on someone’s future.
This coming Friday I will meet with the Korean Employees Union leadership for the final time. I’ve enjoyed this aspect of my job very much and I take a great deal of pride in the outstanding labor-management climate we have maintained within USFK. We rely on our Korean workforce to ensure readiness for our “fight tonight” mission, so keeping our civilians focused and motivated is critical. I doubt we will have much of substance to discuss this go round but I’m going to treat the KEU President and Secretary General to some American-style barbeque, probably at Manimals in Itaewon. Looking forward to that.
Speaking of my successor, we have had eleven candidates referred for consideration. I’m sure I’ll be asked to weigh-in on the relative merits of each and I will of course be happy to do so. I’ve loved my work here and I want to make sure my DHRM family is well taken care of after I’m gone.
As I’ve been cleaning out my files in preparation for my departure I came across an historic email from just over two years ago. Regular readers may recall that some cowardly person chose to complain about my blog to command leadership rather than engage me directly through the comments. I really despise chickenshit assholes who cannot abide anyone with a contrary opinion. Here is what the melting snowflake had to say in his/her complaint:
“I am an applicant and was looking for information about USFK. During my search, I found this website: www.mccrarey.com. It is VERY concerning! The posts are written by someone clearly from high in the command who is absolutely not inclusive. A few of the specific posts that are concerning are: 2/13/16—comparing Bernie Sanders to Hitler. Yes, I know there is free speech, but he identifies as a federal employee. 1/9/16—clearly identifies who he works for. 12/15/15—mocking Muslims, refers to Mohamed as pedophile. 10/23/15—Korean Employees Appeal Board and how it is messed up. 10/14/15—celebrating completing combatting trafficking on hooker hill…which is a real place. I truly hope this is not the image you want to be associated with your command.”
So, the complaint was referred to the Staff Judge Advocate (the lawyers) for review. This email was sent to my big boss in response:
“I reviewed the blog and could not find any violation of law or regulation. He writes about his personal political opinions, often in a churlish manner, but this is not prohibited. He is also not prohibited from identifying his employer or his position as long as he makes clear this his opinions are not those of the US government. I recommend that you notify the employee that there was a complaint about his blog and simply remind him of the applicable rules.”
My boss responded to me as follows:
“John, FYI…it’s good to know that writing about political opinions in a churlish manner is not prohibited. Maybe you should add a customer service link to your blog site so they can directly address concerns to the source. Still trying to figure out what “customer service” was officially provided by USFK through a personal blog that warrants an ICE complaint?”
Heh. Well the upshot of all this was I had to visit with the EEO office where I was encouraged to be more “sensitive”. My supervisor asked me to try and refrain from blogging about work. And a few months later I got promoted to the job I currently hold. I sincerely hope the punk ass loser who complained about me reads this so I can offer a hearty and sincere “fuck you!”
Oh, and any opinions expressed here at LTG are my own, dispensed on my own time, and do not represent the views of the United States government. At least for the next 17 days.
The nephew took the train down from Seoul yesterday afternoon. For some unfathomable reason he wanted one last opportunity to experience the ambiance of Anjeong-ri nightlife.
I grilled us up a couple of ribeyes and with our hunger satiated we proceeded to hit the bars. Well, I did make a stop at the Star Shop hoping to schedule the shipment of my balkbayan box, but alas, they were closed.
We had a couple of drinks in Crystal’s, which I guess by default has become my favorite watering hole here. Then we moved over to IDK for the weekly dart tournament. I warmed up with Justin but advised him not to participate in the tourney as his skill at the game I deemed not ready for prime time. The problem is in a blind draw for partners some of the good players get incensed if they get paired with a rookie. Justin was fine with not playing. And as fate would have it, I drew a rank amateur as my teammate. Certainly even worse than Justin would have been. Fortunately for him, I’m not one of “those” guys who gets pissed if the “luck of the draw” turns out unlucky. Needless to say, it was two and out for us. Which freed me up to take Justin on an old fashioned bar crawl.
So, we went back to Crystal’s to pick up where we left off earlier. Ran into a co-worker and we constructed a vapor/cigar cloud. Aren’t we special?
I also got to practice my flirting skills with the barmaid Seon Nyoh. She was not impressed.
After several drinks we moved over to another of my regular haunts, Horse and Cow. There were some drunk guys doing karaoke. Loudly and badly. One beer and out for us. Where to now? Well, it just so happens that this weekend is the one year anniversary of my first weekend in Anjeong-ri. So why not try a couple of bars I used to frequent but came to avoid later. Yeah, I was drunk and my reasoning skills may have been impaired.
So we hit Casbah and the barmaid remembered me and asked where I’d been all this time. Then ordered herself up a W10,000 ladydrink. When she was ready for a second I said sorry we have to go. That’s why I stopped visiting this bar, high pressure juicy.
Across the street another old “favorite”, Visions, was our next stop. The owner seemed glad to see me again after all this time and was actually quite friendly. My problem at Visions had been with the former bartender/manager who was quite rude to me. She’s no longer there, so it was all good. One of the bargirls set her sights on Justin and seemed impressed that he could carry on a conversation in Korean. Of course, it wasn’t long before she wanted a drink. When Justin declined, she moved down the bar and pouted. Justin relented eventually and she gleefully went to make herself a drink. Then asked for W20,000. I think Justin negotiated her down to a more “reasonable” W10,000, but her mood was soured again, so we headed on down the road.
The final stop of the night was at Hot Top. I used to go there fairly regularly until the bartender I thought was my friend pulled the W20,000 ladydrink scam on me. She scowled at me when I walked in, but a former waitress from IDK works here now and she seemed genuinely happy to see me again. I made a show of ordering her a drink which as she consumed mentioned that it was a W20,000 drink. What the hell? She could see I was pissed and said don’t worry about it, I’ll pay the difference. Well, as a matter of principle I don’t buy twenty thousand won drinks. But I slipped a W10,000 “tip” in her pocket, so the books were balanced. And then departed Hot Top for the last time.
Got home after midnight more than a little drunk and woke up with a hangover this morning.
I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately…
I’m in my teens now. 19 days to go.
Bobby told Lucy, “The world ain’t round…
Drops off sharp at the edge of town
Lucy, you know the world must be flat
‘Cause when people leave town, they never come back”
They go ninety miles an hour to the city limits sign
Put the pedal to the metal ‘fore they change their mind
They howl at the moon, shoot out the light
It’s a small town Saturday night
Another item on the to do list completed. I hope it is not needed anytime soon.
And then there is the minutiae of things like the expiration dates on my credit and debit cards. Noting that both expire in 2019 and not wanting to trust my access to funds to the Philippines postal service, I had both of them renewed yesterday. That carries me through 2021 anyway. I’m planning on making an annual pilgramage to the USA, so with some advance planning I should be good to go in the future. I’m wondering what else am I not thinking about now that I will regret later. I’ve got 20 more days to figure that out.
But I’ll be Hashing in style when I wear my newly made jersey from the Humphreys Hangover Hash House Harriers (5H)
It even has my “name” on the back! I’m thinking I should be a real chick magnet as I march along the paths in Subic.
Well, my next haircut will be given in the PI, but I had to laugh when I saw my former barbershop has a new banner up:
Preparation continues apace as the days (21!) to my departure wind down. Some packing left to do but I’ve also been busy closing doors.
Moving forward to an unknown future carries with it a sense of adventure. But that trip to tomorrow is best made traveling light, and that means leaving the baggage of the past in the past. Easier said than done of course.
Why yes, yes I have.
So this week I’ve let go of the love I felt for one, finally accepting that she will not be sharing my dreams of a happy life in the Philippines. Oddly enough, the sadness I feel is for her, not me. I know that sounds egotistical but in my heart I do believe she would have had a happier life with me than the one she has chosen. I hope I’m wrong about that, but regardless there is no escaping the consequences of our decisions. She has chosen a different path so I will walk mine without her.
The door to a future with Gem has also closed. As much by her choice as mine, although she professes to be hurt. We could just never connect on the emotional and intellectual level that I know I require in a relationship. I’m sorry to have disappointed her but at this stage of my life when it comes to love I’ve got two options left: what I want or nothing at all.
Another door to close and lots of goodbyes in store when I visit Seoul for the last time next weekend. There is always a sadness associated with endings I suppose. My goal is to not be overwhelmed or consumed with sorrow and regret. I’ll start my new life unencumbered and totally free to choose the door that leads to happiness.
Yeah, the old cliché about when one door closes, another opens is in my mind. As my arrival in the Philippines gets closer I’m starting to get messages from a few Filipinas I’ve befriended on Facebook strongly hinting (or outright asking) if they can join me in my new life. Clearly, I’m going to have the opposite problem women-wise than I do here; from no options to almost unlimited options. The level of desperation amongst many of the women I see on the social networks is both sad and scary. They are looking for a way out of their forlorn lives and they see me as their ticket. Well, perhaps for “the one” I will be.
My challenge is going to be to choose wisely. I can’t let my judgement be clouded by sympathy (or lust!). I need to move cautiously and slowly and have the strength to say “sorry, but no” and walk away. In short, I need to learn to harden my heart and stop being such a nice guy sucker. Time will tell.
All of my life, I’ve been waitin’ in the rain
I’ve been waitin’ for a feeling that never, ever came
It feels so close but always disappears
Darlin’, in your wildest dreams, you never had a clue
But it’s time you got the news
I’m gonna harden my heart
I’m gonna swallow my tears
I’m gonna turn and leave you here
Sorry for the lack of posting, let’s catch up! Things continue apace as I transit the transitory process. I’ve even acquired a new moniker to carry with me in my new life in the Philippines. More on that later in this post.
Meanwhile, here in the real world (or at least the world in which I physically live) I’m making the best of it while it lasts.
Enjoyed me a lunch featuring crab legs at the Provider Grill DFAC with my counterparts from the Eighth Army G1.
After work on Friday I got stuck on base because of a lockdown. Apparently there was an active shooter (or more likely an active shooter drill). I waited around the walk-in gate as long as I could, but nature called so I hoofed it across the street to the Flightline restaurant. They were locked up, but let me in so I could “shelter in place”. They had a restroom and cold beer, so I waited it out in comfort until the all clear was sounded.
And I finally reached a decision in the one bag or two dilemma.
Better to have too much than not enough, right?
Having the second suitcase gave me the confidence to fill it with things that may be hard to find or expensive in my new homeland. It was raining Saturday morning which gave me the perfect excuse to go shopping at the PX. I surprised myself by spending over $500 during my spree. I bought a few more shirts and shorts appropriate for the tropics. I also picked up two large bottles of my favorite cologne (Armani Mania). I went ahead and splurged on a brand new Fitbit, figuring I’d want a backup handy should the one I’m wearing fail.
And these shoes. The most comfortable shoes I’ve ever owned and probably the most expensive ($116). They have some cushioning effect that feels like you have little springs on your feet. Disconcerting at first, but I like it now!
The rain let up some in the afternoon, and I needed to get my steps in so off I went.
A blooming orchard I encountered along the way.
And even after being here almost one year (my lease expires on the day I fly out) this sign still cracks me up.
I’ve been trying to get back into darts as that will be one of my pastimes after I make the move. Still can’t seem to find the motivation to practice, but I’m back at it on Saturday nights at IDK bar.
I drew Ben as my partner. We have some history. First met him in Columbia, SC when he was stationed at Fort Jackson. A year later he moved on to Syracuse, NY. At his farewell I mentioned that maybe we’d meet again in Korea someday. His wife said NO WAY I’m going to Korea. So I took some satisfaction while attending Ben’s assumption of command ceremony on Yongsan a couple of years ago, asking Leah “what are you doing in Korea?”
Ben and I played on the “What the Bulls” championship team my last season in Seoul. He moved down to Humphreys this fall, but we’ve never drawn up as partners until last Saturday. We were both off our game though and had to settle for a second place finish. Great fun throwing with him again though!
And now I hope you’ll indulge me while I play the role of proud grandfather.
Gracyn did her second horse show and seems to have both a natural talent and a love for the sport.
Took first place in two events and that smile says it all.
Sunday morning was nice, so I decided to make the long trek to Pyeongtaek city and back (3.5 hours).
As is my custom, I took the riverside bike path…
Pyeongtaek awaits. As usual, I peed at the train station, walked through the glass house red light district, then headed on home.
I was walking on a carpet of blossoms.
Sunday afternoon I joined up with the Humphreys Hangover Hash House Harriers for the day’s event. It actually turned out to be a pretty challenging trail.
First time the Hare (Shamu Shagger), the person marking the trail, took us this far afield. A rice field as it were.
It was a smallish turnout (three hashers plus the Hare) but we really covered some territory, including down by the riverside.
It made for a long day!
It was also my 5th Hash and that meant I would be given my official Hash name.
Young Dum Cum is my Hash father, having selected my Hash name.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m still learning the Hash rituals (I’m getting much better at following the trails though!), so half the time I don’t know what’s going on. The naming ritual was pretty intense, as I was grilled with probing questions for quite awhile as they searched for nuggets of information that would lead to an appropriate Hash name.
Now, Hash names are rarely PC or appropriate in polite company. Flim Flam, Blow My Pipe, Bum Burglar, Leech My Nuggets are examples of my soon to be fellow Hashers in the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers kennel. So I was a little nervous about what they might come up with for me. After about twenty minutes of deliberation over my interview answers I was called back to the circle and awarded the Hash name I will carry with me throughout the world. After drinking beer from the traditional dog bowl I was introduced as:
Cum Together.
I’ve already ordered my Hash jersey with my name on the back.
Like the pine trees lining the winding road
I got a name, I got a name
Like the singing bird and the croaking toad
I got a name, I got a name
And I carry it with me like my daddy did
But I’m living the dream that he kept hid
Moving me down the highway, rolling me down the highway
Moving ahead so life won’t pass me by
“If you are willing to settle for less, less will be your destiny.”
Well, that’s as profound as it gets for me anyway.
Over the past few days in the course of conversation with a couple of different friends the concept of destiny reared its ugly head. As usual, the context was “well, that didn’t turn out the way I hoped, but it must be destiny.” Of course, destiny is the twin sister of “God’s will”. Well, I ain’t buying it.
I recall my final appearance in Sunday School at the First Baptist Church in Columbia, South Carolina. The lesson that day was about how God had granted mankind “free will”. At the conclusion of class there was an announcement that there would be a march to the statehouse in support of more restrictive abortion laws. I was sincerely confused and so I raised my hand and asked “if God has given us free will, why would you want to pass a law taking that away?” I was met with a blank stare and after a few seconds was told “it’s a matter of faith”. I took it on faith that there was no point in my returning.
The point is that if we have free will to make decisions in life there can be no outcome that is our destiny. If what happens in our life is preordained, it wouldn’t matter what road or course of action we decided to take, we’d always wind up in the same place. Bullshit.
The things that happen to us in life, good and bad, are not “destiny” they are the result of the choices we make. Yeah, call me Captain Obvious but I’m tired of hearing “sorry, it was just our destiny that we arrived in this fucked up place”. No, we are where we are because we chose through our deeds a course of action that led us here.
I’m taking a new path (in 28 days!) that will lead me to a different future. And as I move forward I’m very cognizant of the fact that the choices I will make along the way are critical if I am to achieve my goal of living a contented and comfortable life in the Philippines. In short, I can’t let myself fuck up again. There are many traps, pitfalls and obstacles along the road to happiness. I’ll have to be patient and cautious as I move forward and choose wisely among the options that will present themselves.
I remain confident that the love of my life is out there and that she will find me one day. It’s my destiny.
I’ve been looking for a lover
But I haven’t met her yet
She’ll be nothing like
I pictured her to be
In her eyes I will discover
Another reason why
I want to live
and make the best
of what I see.
Where the sun hits the water
And the mountains meet the sand
There’s a beach
that I walk along sometimes
And maybe there I’ll meet her
And we’ll start to say ‘hello’
And never stop to think
of any other time.
Looking’ for a love
that’s right for me
I don’t know how long
it’s going to be
But I hope I treat her kind
And don’t mess with her mind
When she starts to see
the darker side of me.
Thirty days out or one month away, take your pick. I continue the slow process of extricating myself from the bonds that bind me here.
My big dilemma of the moment is deciding whether to bring two suitcases or one. Philippines Air says I can carry 30 kilos total on the flight, every additional kilo will cost me $12.00. Decisions, decisions. On the one hand, I can just leave behind whatever might not fit. Or I could fill the second bag with stuff I could use and may not find in the PI (or that would cost a lot more). For example, I wouldn’t mind bringing a bidet with me. Plus I can buy stuff at the PX tax free. On the other hand, I’d have to struggle with two big-ass suitcases, plus my carry-on. I’ll decide sometime in the next month I reckon.
Meanwhile, I’m in the zone now where some things I do here I’m doing for the last time.
Today I got my last haircut in Korea…
It was pretty funny, the barber said I seem in much better spirits than I was the first time she saw me. She said that first day I had an expression on my face like I had just stepped in dog shit. That cracked me up! I admit I went through a grumpy phase (oh hell, maybe it is just my nature). But, having a new life to look forward to soon has indeed brightened my spirits.
Even my milk has a longer shelf life here than I do!
On thing is for sure, moving to the PI will…
…be changing me.
On the flip (no offense meant to the Filipino people) side, every last in Korea will be an opportunity for a first come May.
What else? Well it is Siblings Day in the USA. So, let me give a shoutout to my bros…
I’d be the handsome one in the middle. But you knew that, right?
I’m planning my last trip to Seoul the last weekend in April. Will stay Friday through Monday. Anyone out there want to meet up, give me a holler. Especially you, Kevin Kim.
The days like a slow train trickle by
And even the words that I write refuse to fly
All I can hear is your song haunting me
Can’t get the melody out of my head, you see
Distractions are amusing, do you know how much you’re losing
No you don’t, but I do
