Greetings Earthlings. A rainy day here in the lovely Philippines. That’s newsworthy only because we actually had a solid week of glorious sunshine. I’d convinced myself that rainy season had ended early. Oh well, this too shall pass!
In the Facebook memories feature I was reminded of this photo taken three years ago:
Shocking to see just how fat I truly was. Well, that’s married life for you I guess…
Just for shits and giggles I posed for a similar shot yesterday:
I’m not the man I used to be, that’s for sure. Heh, I guess that’s the difference between being married and single…
As you can see in the photo above, my Buddy was in a playful mood. He loves to gnaw on stuff, like my shoes. He usually does it when I’m not wearing them though. I’ve been giving him a combination of tough love and chew toys to save my shoes. He’s pretty smart, he’ll figure it out soon. I hope.
Buddy says “that’s not funny!”
And last but certainly not least, a very Happy Birthday to my first born daughter, Renee Bonnie.
Hard to believe she is 43 now. Especially given the fact that her father is only 30. Yes, that is how I self identify. Don’t be an ageism bigot!
If the rain comes
They run and hide their heads
They might as well be dead
If the rain comes
If the rain comes
When the sun shines
They slip into the shade
And sip their lemonade
When the sun shines
When the sun shines
Rain, I don’t mind
Shine, the weather’s fine
I can show you
That when it starts to rain
Everything’s the same
I can show you
I can show you
Rain, I don’t mind
Shine, the weather’s fine
Can you hear me
That when it rains and shines
It’s just a state of mind
Can you hear me
Can you hear me
There’s this guy. Name is Greg. Alright dude I suppose when he’s sober, but that is rarely the case. The more he drinks the louder and more obnoxious he becomes. It’s actually pretty annoying but I’ve chosen to ignore his unseemly behavior, deeming it none of my business since none of his rudeness has ever been directed towards me.
Until Tuesday night that is. And yes, sadly this is another case of the dreaded “darts drama”. Some people just can’t help themselves it seems. But it was especially disappointing in the case of Greg who is one of the top dart players in town. I’ve been actively trying to recapture some of my passion for the game, although for me I’m playing as a pastime, win or lose I try to keep it fun. Greg is pretty much the opposite, he gets mouthy and pissy if he is playing poorly.
I didn’t know Greg prior to moving here, although we did share time in Korea. He played in the Songtan league. We do have a mutual friend, a bar owner there named Vox. When I mentioned to Vox on Facebook that I met Greg, he sent me a message warning me that Greg was not to be trusted. Well, to me he is just another guy in the bar, and there are very few people in the bar that I would inherently trust. Some I like better than others, but trust is earned and I haven’t been here long enough to really trust anyone.
Anyway, Tuesday night we are playing in the semi-finals. Greg and his partner won the 501 leg, and we moved on to the cricket match. My first dart was a triple 20 to close, I threw the second dart at the 19 and missed, so went back up to the 20 for points. Greg then commenced to get all mouthy and said throwing points was “totally uncalled for”. Um, the game is called cricket points for a reason. Strategically, I made the smart throw. His rudely calling me out really pissed me off. After the game (which he won) I let him know in my loud voice how I felt. His lame excuse was that he had been “kidding”. Bullshit.
Anyway, Marissa tried to calm me down and then my pal Jerry came over and reminded me not to lower myself to Greg’s level. Yeah, that resonated so I let it go.
But thinking about it overnight I realized that I was devoting way too much time to darts and not really enjoying myself. Greg’s behavior was the catalyst to my realization that I should be finding better ways to fill the hours. So, I told my Wednesday dart league captain that this would be my last season. Greg is the captain of my Friday league team, and if last night is any indication he is not talking to me. Which suits me fine. I don’t want to let my Friday teammates down so I will play out the season if they need me. That’s up to Greg.
After the season I’m taking a break from darts. Oh I might play in an occasional tournament if the mood strikes me, but this five day a week routine is going to change. Probably time for me to focus on doing some local travel and exploring more of this country I call home. Also might be good for me to spend less time in Alley Cats bar.
Speaking of which, Marissa came out on her day off to watch me throw in league yesterday. When the match was finished, I told her I was hungry. She said she had already eaten. I finished my beer and said I needed to go eat. She told me, “you go, I’ll wait here”. Alrighty then, girlfriend. I paid my tab, said goodnight, and left the bar.
I was sitting at Cheap Charlies in a sour mood, drinking beers and waiting for my BLT sandwich to arrive. Marissa sent me a message asking “Are you mad?”. I responded along the lines of “why would I be mad? I said it hurts that my girlfriend couldn’t be bothered to spend time with me on her day off, preferring to sit alone at Alley Cats>” And then of course she got all defensive. We went back and forth for awhile, and she honestly just doesn’t get why it was a big deal to me. After I finished eating I went back to the bar to continue the discussion and hopefully find some resolution. She kept telling me to lower my voice, although I didn’t feel like I was being all that loud. Finally she insisted we go somewhere else to continue the conversation.
I did calm down, said my piece, tried to understand her side of it (I still don’t, you either want to be with me or you don’t. I shouldn’t have to ask, insist, or beg you to join me). Anyway, I don’t know where we go from here. This article says that “on-again, off-again relationships are more trouble than they’re worth”. I’m not sure that Marissa and I are technically on-again/off-again. She calls them fights. I’ve never technically broken up with her, although I’ve come close to doing so. Ultimately that may be where this goes unless she can miraculously figure out what it takes to satisfy my longing for a loving companion.
As if I didn’t have enough drama in my life, I came home Tuesday night to a message from Maria (my “friend” in Davao) telling me she was unfriending me in Facebook but that she was still my friend. What do you say to that? I said “goodbye Maria”.
The back story is that she has met a 71 year old retired Navy guy and that I somehow make him feel threatened. I’d chatted with him a couple of times on messenger, answering his questions about the the Subic area and assuring him that Maria is a good and honest woman. And then a few days ago I get this insane message from him ranting about how he knows I’m Maria’s fuck buddy and crazy ass shit like that. As I had told him, I haven’t even seen Maria in person for over two years.
Anyway, I shared that message with Maria and warned her that the guy had demonstrated that he was a jealous control freak, potentially abusive, and things were unlikely to end well. She indicated she had already figured all that out and that she had blocked all contact with him. I guess until she didn’t. He had recently insisted that she end her Facebook friendship with me and that is what she did.
I’m fine with it. Hell, anyone who doesn’t want to be friends with me, on Facebook or in real life, is more than welcome to walk away. Just like the women who professed to love me forever and ever. I’ve helped Maria out of several situations since we last met and she always called me her guardian angel. I guess she has a new angel now. I hope that works out for her, although I expect she is headed for trouble. Not my problem, that’s for sure.
Is that about enough drama for one week? I sure as hell hope so!
Successfully completed another Hash yesterday. Had decent weather for a change which allowed the Hares to incorporate some mountain climbs into the trail. We were presented with two options, a 7K with a steep climb or a “less challenging” 5K march. Now, I’d normally opt for the longer trail but the Hare warned that the steps to the top of the high mountain were very slippery. I just wasn’t in the mood for an afternoon of slips, trips, and falls.
Additionally, I had already walked 20,000 steps on the day and was starting out weary. I won’t make that mistake again. I also noted that most of the walkers were doing the shorter trail and I wasn’t inclined to get left behind on the long trail again. So I did less challenging which proved plenty challenging enough.
Loaded up in the Hashmobile and ready to roll…
And we are On-On!
Through a neighborhood…
Over the creek on a rickety bridge…was glad I was not carrying around those extra pounds from years gone by…
Up and down some hills….
Back to village life…
The hardest part of this schoolgirl’s day is getting back home.
One final climb…
But the views were with it…
Ah, looking down on my hometown…
I have to give a shout out to fellow Hasher “snake charmer”. As usual I fell behind the group but she hung back so I wouldn’t be on trail alone. I thanked her for it and she said she always does that for newbies and people like me (which I took as a polite way way to say old fuckers). She’s been Hashing for four years now and is real good at following the trail markings. As I admired her lovely ass we walked along I couldn’t help but think how I’d love to have a girlfriend like her to Hash with. Alas, her significant other also Hashes (he was on the long trail yesterday). At least I know what I’m looking for!
It’s been quite awhile since I’ve logged a 30,000 step day…
A pretty nice after Hash at Midnight Rambler. A couple of interesting conversations that I’ll perhaps blog about later this week. As for now, my Buddy wants to go for a walk…
I’ve hit a new low. 193 pounds. Pretty surprising really because I’ve not been disciplined in my dietary practices lately. Not complaining though.
I cooked up some pulled pork in the crockpot yesterday. Was very pleased that the meat came out tender and flavorful. Served it up with cobbed corn and cornbread (see what I mean about the diet?). This morning I took some of the leftovers and made this:
A pulled pork breakfast burrito! Man, it was tasty. Not sure why I haven’t tried that before. Well, I haven’t kept tortillas on hand since I went on my low carb routine. But these days, I eat pretty much as I please (as long as I stay under the 200 pound threshold).
My buddy keeps an eye on things around the house…
And gives me some company when no one else will…
The weather has been much improved. Other than a couple of thundershowers it’s been sunny and warm. Eh, it’s been hot. Too soon to complain about that though!
Another beautiful morning in the neighborhood.
I’ve not been as disciplined with my walking as I should be either. For example, these past three days my step counts were 9,000, 27,000, and 12,000. My minimum daily goal is 15,000. So I guess I’m averaging that, but… I’m already over 20,000 today and still have the Hash to do this afternoon. I think part of the problem is I’m pretty much bored with my usual walking routines. There’s some nice trails up in the mountains, but I’m just not comfortable walking them alone. Way too much could go wrong. I’ll find some ways to change things up, probably incorporate the old Navy base into the mix.
Walk on!
Coming up on four months in country and I’m running out of the prescription meds I brought along with me. So far I’ve been lucky enough at my local pharmacy in getting refills. Haven’t even needed a prescription. No one seems to to stock my Advair Diskus though; it’s an inhaler for my COPD. Hopefully, I can find a similar product. The pharmacist offered up something for asthma today, but I’m going to wait until I can discuss it with an actual doctor.
And that is where things stand on this mundane Monday.
I hear some people
been talkin’ me down,
Bring up my name,
pass it ’round.
They don’t mention
happy times
They do their thing,
I’ll do mine.
Ooh baby,
that’s hard to change
I can’t tell them
how to feel.
Some get stoned,
some get strange,
But sooner or later
it all gets real.
She was a friend to me when I needed one
Wasn’t for her I don’t know what I’d done
She gave me back something that was missing in me
She could of turned out to be almost anyone
Almost anyone…
With the possible exception
Of who I wanted her to be
Talk about celestial bodies
And your angels on the wing
She wasn’t much good at stickin’ around…but
That girl could sing…
Ah, I hope you will indulge me as I engage in a little Sunday morning introspection.
Woke up alone which is of course sadly normal for me. Then I walked alone…
…on the beach.
And ate breakfast alone…
…probably the best French toast in town at Mango’s…
And all that alone time gave me the chance to reflect on the sorry state of my love life. I don’t always go there, but Facebook “triggered” me by sharing a memory from two years ago.
The lovely Eun Oke traveled with me to Barretto back then…
We had a fine ocean view room at the Arizona resort….
…and a really fantastic time in the bars. The bargirls loved her and she enjoyed having me buy them drinks. Good times!
Anyway, I’m not going to recount the disaster that resulted from that relationship. Suffice to say I allowed myself to love someone for the first time since having my heart and soul crushed by the wife. Eun Oke left me embittered and cynical and unwilling (or perhaps unable) to open myself up to love again.
So Loraine became my brand new plan.
I’d just hire someone to take care of me. No risk in that, right?
Regular readers know how that turned out for me. Honestly, I’m still reeling from the aftershocks. I’m living the life here alone that I expected to share with her. That’s not always easy.
Which has led me now to this particular moment in time and my tentative first steps in starting a new relationship. Marissa, what am I going to do about you?
Things are always just a little out of kilter it seems…
I think Marissa is a good woman with a good heart. So, what’s the problem? She just doesn’t meet my needs. We have little in common (she doesn’t like to walk!). She’s not open and expressive with her feelings. And she works in a bar. Other than those things she is pretty much perfect.
And of course I’m being very unfair here. I do think she cares but she doesn’t do the little things to show it. And that’s really my being needy and wanting constant reassurance that I matter. And that is just not in her nature to do. I think she is perhaps making more of an effort in that regard, but again, I can’t expect her to be something that she is not.
The working in a bar thing is a bigger issue for me than I expected it would be. My first girlfriend in Korea was a bargirl and I don’t recall being bothered by other men buying her drinks. Hey, it meant I didn’t have to. This situation feels different somehow now. Again, that’s probably more a reflection of my insecurity and vulnerability than anything she is doing. We have talked about it at length. I respect that customer bought drinks is how she pays the rent. I admire her tenacity and independence as she makes her way through life. I have no reason to think these customers mean anything other than a way to make money (just to be clear, I’m talking drinks only, there is no “take out” available at Alley Cats).
Her ex-boyfriend took her out of the bar. Paid her a 10,000 peso per month “allowance” in lieu of working. That’s only $200. I could easily do that. The problem I have with it though is that it is too much like the “buying a girlfriend” thing I tried with Loraine. I don’t want Marissa to be with me out of a sense of obligation or financial need. I want her to be with me only when and if that is where she most wants to be. If I give her money I could never be sure.
So, that’s my dilemma. And yes, the easy course of action is to just let her go and move on to the next big thing. I may wind up doing that at some point. But for now at least I find her to be, well, it sounds crass and selfish, but she’s better than nothing. I’ve had way too much of nothing and I’m not quite ready to throw in the towel and go back to that.
So, we shall see what the future brings.
The longer I thought I could find her
The shorter my vision became
Running in circles behind her
And thinking in terms of the blame
But she couldn’t have been any kinder
If she’d come back and tried to explain
She wasn’t much good at saying goodbye…but
That girl was sane
Welcome to the brr months. At least that is what my breakfast waitress said to me. I gave her a quizzical look and she said “you know, SeptemBER, OctoBER…” I don’t know if that is just a Filipino saying or not. I’ve never heard it put that way until now, and my domestic helper also mentioned it this afternoon. It must be a thing.
What else?
There was a drunken moon the other night. Or I was drunk when I took this photo. One of those…
Facebook reminded me of the two year anniversary of the purchase of my last tailor made suit.
Damn dapper, ain’t I? Ha! It’s going on 4 months now since I put on a soul choker necktie. Don’t miss it a bit…
The work I had done on the house is now completed. Awnings over the entrances, interior paint, ceiling fans, etc. All for less than two grand. Who spends that kind of money on a rental? Why, I do of course. I plan to live here for the duration so it may as well be set up the way I like it, right?
Front door awning…
…kitchen door awning…
…back door awning.
I also had shelves put up in the kitchen here…
…and here. I have no clue why kitchen cabinets weren’t part of the original construction.
The only addition to the living room (besides paint) was the ceiling fan. Put one in my office area and the MBR as well.
Speaking of the office area, here it is. No actual work is performed here of course…
And upstairs in the master bath is this water heater that works like a charm (provided I have water of course!)
And whenever I need to stroll down memory lane I can now enjoy the parting words of my old co-workers and photos from my previous life as an employed person.
I can also feed my ego with the trinkets of recognition I earned over the years.
I have a special wall for my award from the Seoul International Dart League…
…which is right next door to my brand new dart board! Now if I can only find the motivation to practice. I do have one less excuse now!
Today I enjoyed lunch at the Blue Rock Resort, a place full of memories for me. Happy times with a lost love, you know the drill.
I had the Hawaiian pork chops and they didn’t disappoint…
My date had the Presidential Prawns. She said they were also good.
My date? Marissa. We continued our working through the issues that seem to destine us for failure. Will it ever work? I honestly have my doubts, but I do appreciate that she cares enough to try. So there’s that.
Darts tonight at Alley Cats and then we’ll see what else is cooking in the Barrio on a Saturday night.
And that concludes today’s update from my life in paradise. Stay tuned for the next episode right here at LTG!
Didn’t walk this morning. Had a grocery shopping excursion on the old Navy base instead. Took a nap when I got home. So less than 10,000 steps on the day. Oh well.
Dart league this afternoon. Didn’t play well and we lost 7-6. Oh hell.
Played in the Friday night tourney at Alley Cats and did much better, 1st Place better. Oh yeah!
Nice night ended on a sour note as I had a blowup with Marissa. We talked our way through it so maybe that is progress. We’ll see.
Life is full of surprises. Things happen when you least expect them. Take yesterday for instance.
The day started out pretty much like every other day of my life. Got up, did my internet rituals, took a hike, had some breakfast, walked the dog.
Early in the afternoon I fired up the grill.
Bought these ribeyes at Bretto’s in Barretto. From Australia. Will they be tender?
I cooked them a little rarer than I usually do and they were in fact easier to chew than the first batch I grilled a couple of weeks ago.
After my meal it was off to the VFW for dart league. It was a challenging match but we ultimately prevailed 8-5. I was able to win all my games, including a tough cricket game against Cristy, one of the top players in town. She throws a little better than me, but my cricket strategy was stronger. Which sometimes makes all the difference and is one of the reasons cricket is my favorite darts game.
Anyway my team captain, Anabel, told me that Dean, the owner of our sponsor Alley Cats bar, wanted to see me after we completed the match. What about? Anabel said she didn’t know. Hmm, I’m sure I paid my tab and I didn’t recall being any more offensive than normal. Oh well, I told her I’d be happy visit Alley Cats that afternoon. Right after dart league Anabel insisted.
So with dart business completed I walked on over to Alley Cats, opened the door, and found this staring me in the face:
The candle was lit and a chorus of voices shouted out Surprise! Happy Birthday!
Well, how about that? Of course, it was a belated birthday gathering. On Monday I did the Hash. On Tuesday as I mentioned in an earlier post, another guy did his birthday party at Alley Cats. So I guess it was my turn on Wednesday.
Ain’t that sweet?
Some of the perpetrators…
“Is this my present?”
Nah, it’s on again, off again Marissa. I guess we were on again, at least for last night.
Cutting the cake which is preferable to me cutting the cheese. *ahem*
Ester likes to lick off the frosting first….
So I had a good time. And it felt nice to feel that I was amongst people who do enjoy my company. Perhaps I’m on the right path after all.
Will wonders never cease? The sun is shining for the second day in a row! And “all the things” are good and right in the world…
“you’re my blue skies, you’re my sunny day….”
I took advantage of the sunshine yesterday to take a walk I’ve been contemplating since I first arrived in Barretto. Hiking along the National Highway to the Kalaklan Gate at the old Navy base. I’ve hesitated about doing so because it seemed it might be dangerous given the heavy traffic, generally poor Filipino driving skills including disrespect for pedestrians, and a lack of shoulder in places. But I’m getting bored with limited walking choices here in town so I said “fuck it, I’m going to walk to the base!”. And off I went. (spoiler alert: I survived. Hence, I am able to post some photos of the adventure)
This is the highway right outside Barretto proper. It’s quite a scenic walk actually.
Must be nice to live next to a waterfall. Except maybe when it’s not.
The shoulder was actually almost non-existent in places and so for obvious reasons I didn’t stand there to take a photo. Also, I discovered that the white line DOES NOT prevent vehicles from encroaching on my rightful place to walk…
Still, in a worse case scenario I suppose my burial would have been convenient.
The hike also afforded some new perspectives on the beauty of Subic Bay…
All told it was about two hours to the gate and back.
Will I make the hike again? Perhaps. It did get a little dicey in places and I’m not sure risking life and limb is the smartest course of action. Glad I crossed this off my bucket list at least. I think I’ll incorporate some variety in my walks by taking a Jeepney to the base and then walking on the comparatively wide and well maintained streets there. We’ll see.
Last night after darts I joined in a birthday celebration for one of my fellow darters. I was actually surprised he sprang to the full lechon feast. It’s the national dish of the Philippines doncha know?
It’s one of my favorite traditional foods here. Similar to pulled pork (and I’ve had it where everyone is literally pulling the meat of with their fingers and eating it) without the sauce. Lots of folks really go for the crispy skin as well.
Nothing to lose your head over though. Unless you are the pig.
Anyway, the day ended better than it began and that’s about the best you can hope for I suppose.
Celebrated my birthday with the Hash. We caught a break from the rain which made for a mostly pleasant hike, notwithstanding some mud and puddles.
We are On-On!
If this street were ice cream it would be my favorite flavor!
I usually find cause to mutter this word several times during a typical Hash. Yesterday was no exception.
The boys are in the ‘hood!
And in your backyard…
…and all up in your shit.
That’s more like it…
A trail with a view…
In a first for me we crossed the Matain river….
in a banka boat…cool…
better than wading, that’s for sure…
On home was at Johan’s Dive resort featuring this view of the bay…
Drinking beer and reflecting on the day’s journey…
So, at the circle I was made to sit on the ice in honor of my having achieved another birthday. A small cake with a solitary candle was presented and I was instructed to blow out the candle. I silently made a wish that the cake would not be smashed into my face. My wish was not granted.
And then the traditional Hash birthday song was sung:
Today is a national holiday here in the Philippines. And it is also my birthday. Coincidence? I think not!
No great insights on this rainy (of course) 63rd anniversary of my birth. My life has certainly not gone according to “plan”, not that I actually had one, and this birthday finds me alone for the most part in a place I didn’t really expect to be. And Lord knows, I’ve been in worse places both physically and emotionally. I don’t have to look very far to see up close and personal just how blessed I truly am. It’s easy to focus on what you don’t have I think, but today I’m especially thankful to have made it this far in my life’s journey with my health mostly intact and nothing of significance to worry about.
And what a journey it’s been! Indulge me while I reminisce.
The very first part of the trip…
It all began that long ago morning at the Kaiser Foundation hospital in Los Angeles, California.
My father managed a fast food restaurant in Orange County, but this was the closet hospital for his Kaiser health plan.
1955-1960: My first hometown was lovely Garden Grove, CA.
It’s all a little hazy now, but it looked something like this back then…
Me in the bros back in the 50s…
1960-1973: Westminster, CA was where I did most of my growing up (heh, I’m still a work in progress though!).
My Alma Mater. High school was a challenging time for me. Ran cross country my Freshman year, then switched from athletics to drugs (mostly pot). Still managed to stay focused enough to become editor of the school newspaper and to graduate (that was touch and go!)
Me and my Grandma Pernie…
1973: Garden Grove again briefly. I got arrested on the Fourth of July (you can read about it here) and my father and I agreed it would be in our mutual best interests for me to move out. Got an apartment with a friend and was working at a convenience store for two bucks an hour.
1973-1974: Huntington Beach, CA. Things didn’t work out with the first roomie, so me and my older brother got a place in Huntington Beach and I started practicing to be a grown-up. Got a better job and my first broken heart while there.
This photo is a little misleading as we lived miles from the actual beach. But I did spend a lot of time on (and under) this pier over the years…
1975: Midway City, CA. So, I got a girl I was dating pregnant. We moved in together until the baby was born at which time we planned to give the child up for adoption. When that day came I balked at letting my baby girl go and proposed marriage instead. I told that story here.
All you can say about Midway City is that it is midway between Huntington Beach and Westminster.
1976-1978: Back to Westminster. My parents owned two small houses on a corner lot and rented one out to me and my new family. I took a job with the Postal Service and was on my way career-wise. My son was born in 1978 and the family was complete.
Me a father of two? Something doesn’t add up!
1978-1983: Prescott, Arizona. Being a family man was a big responsibility. And even back in the 1970s I wasn’t liking the way California was going and wanted something better for my kids. The wife and I loved Arizona and so I started working hard at getting a transfer to a post office there. Prescott was the lucky winner for my, er, unique talents. I paid them back by becoming the president of the local letter carrier’s union.
Still probably the best place I ever did live. A beautiful city, small and clean. I was big time into softball there. Even founded the Mile High softball club. A double entendre, as the city was a mile high and so was I….
Most importantly, it was a great place to raise my kids. Or so I had hoped.
1983: Monroe, Oklahoma. Alas, it was not to be. The marriage went south and I got custody of two young kids. I did my best as a single father but I needed help. Who do you turn to in that situation? My mother of course!
My parents owned this small farm in Monroe. It was a really great place for the kids…horses and country living!
I give my mom and grandma all the credit for raising two outstanding individuals that I am proud to call my children.
1984: Fort Smith, Arkansas. Well, as good as the farm life was for the kids, it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea. Plus, my work was across the border in Arkansas. I took an apartment there and spent weekends with the kids.
This was my first time living in the South. And I was in my prime. I’ve been around some, but man oh man, the gals back then loved to get it on. Hey, it was the 80s!
Which brings me to a birthday memory. I was dating a girl from work named Darla. She was a clerk on the night shift. She left work early and showed up at my place just a little before midnight. At the stroke of 12 she commenced to give me a blow job. I was of course pleasantly surprised. Afterwards she told me she never wanted me to forget what I was doing when I turned 30. I’m sure I will never forget even though she left me not long after. Sweet girl!
1985: Van Buren, AR. Things were going well at work. Got my first promotion to management as a Safety Specialist. What’s a rising star like me going to do? Why move across the river and buy a house in Van Buren of course!
If it looks country, that’s what it is. A country town through and through…
1986: Poteau, OK. I met the woman who was destined to be wife #2 and moved into her very nice home in Poteau (pronounced PO-tow).
If it looks depressing, that’s what it is, a depressing burg of a town. The fine dining was done at Pizza Hut and the shopping at Wal-Mart.
1987: Columbia, South Carolina. I took a big promotion as a Labor Relations Specialist in Columbia, SC. A town I had never even seen (I had interviewed for a job in Charleston, but got hired for one in Columbia). I didn’t care, I was getting the fuck out of Poteau!
Ah, city living! Comparatively speaking anyway.
Me back in the Cola days. Everybody’s so different, I haven’t changed.
1988-1997: Lexington, SC. As happy as I was to be out of OK, the kids were missing the horse lifestyle. So we bought a big house on two acres and I brought the horses out. It was a good life, with a rural lifestyle and city conveniences 30 minutes away.
Well, it was better than Poteau. Except for hearing the occasional Klan rallies on the next street over from my house.
1997-2004: Stafford, Virginia. Another big promotion and another big move. I was working in Arlington and Stafford is a good distance south of there. I was warned that I-95 would kick my ass. I blew it off saying “I grew up driving the freeways in Southern Cal”. I-95 kicked my ass. It was better after I took a job in Washington, DC with the Department of Education. I took the VRE train in everyday. Still an 1.5 hour commute each way, but at least I could relax and read.
I lived on the golf course in the Aquia Harbour subdivision. I didn’t golf though. The ex still has the house and a good bit of shit I left behind when I moved on to Korea.
2005-2010: Seoul, Korea. The move that changed everything. It is what this blog was all about. It’s all there in the archives. A lot of it is almost too painful to remember. But I wouldn’t change that life altering decision anyway.
I love and miss this city!
2011-2014: Back “home” in Columbia. At least part time (also spent several months a year in my other home of Seoul). It is where the kids and grandkids live. And I got home just in time to help my parents through their final days.
It’s all gone now. Still struggling to find my way onward to a new life.
2015-2016: Back to Seoul with nothing but broken promises and broken dreams.
2017: Pyeongtaek. Damn, looking back on it now I never really gave that town a chance. I was so bitter and disillusioned. Would I like to go back and give it a do-over? HELL NO!
I’m sorry. I know it wasn’t your fault. It was me, not you.
2018-?: Barrio Barretto, Olongapo, Zambales, Philippines. And here I am waiting for the next big thing. Things can always be better and they sure as hell can always be worse. I think I’m getting more and more settled and I’m confident I’ll make a satisfying life here. Just give me another good ten years to work with. Hell, make it twenty.
It ain’t real big but it’s big enough to call “home”.
Happy Birthday to me! Let’s stick around and see what happens next, shall we?
Well, with all this rain you could expect there would be an influx of those pesky mosquitoes. I’ve actually been rather surprised that my house is not infested, especially given the fact that the shoddy construction of this place allows many points of egress. In Korea and South Carolina I’d have big assed biters buzzing my head at night keeping me awake. Not so much here. What I do have is tiny little insects almost invisible to the eye biting me on the ankles while I sit at my desk faithfully blogging for you, my devoted readers. They seem impervious to the repellent I dutifully apply after each shower. Ah well, as long as I can avoid dengue or some other ‘squito borne disease I’ll count myself lucky!
Jerry, the manager at Treasure Island resort advised me this morning that we have had rain now for 79 straight days, amounting to over 200 inches thus far. Raining as I type this too. Enough already!
That’s Buddy’s “when are you going to get off your lazy ass and take me for a walk?” look. We wound up walking in the rain…
A good afternoon of darts. It was a battle of the sexes, but me and Patrick managed to have enough balls to beat our attractive female opponents.
What’s cookin’ in the crockpot?
Why a tasty (if I do say so myself) pot roast!
All in all I’d call this a good day. Shame I didn’t have anyone here to share it with me.
Man oh man, I’ve got to say that this daily rain is really wearing me down. Honestly, if it rained like this year round I could not live here. It’s a bit depressing.
They tell me rainy season normally ends in September. I’m really looking forward to complaining about how damn hot it is…
Well, nothing to be gained by throwing a tantrum or crying about it I suppose.
They have already started treating me like a big baby at the Alley Cats bar…
In other news, I saw this cartoon today and had to laugh:
It’s good to have some distance from the American political scene though. Treasure Island usually has CNN on when I have breakfast there. The media has gone fucking insane, haven’t they? I really hate to even hear it, it’s disgusting. I sit as far away from the blaring TV as possible. And some mornings I just don’t eat there now to avoid being subjected to that nonsense.
Oh well, it’s fixin’ to be Saturday night in the Barrio. Reckon that means some beers and darts for me.
C’est la vie.
Bad dreamer, what’s your name
Looks like we’re ridin’ on the same train
Looks as though there’ll be more pain
There’s gonna be a Showdown
And it’s rainin’ all over the world
It’s raining all over the world
Tonight, the longest night
She came to me like a friend
She blew in on a southern wind
Now my heart is turned to stone again
There’s gonna be a Showdown
And it’s rainin’ all over the world
It’s raining all over the world
Tonight, the longest night
Yesterday I watched my first Filipino film, a movie called Miss Granny. Here’s the trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn8vbPY_o5s
I’m not going to write a review. I’ll just say that the movie was entertaining overall, cute and sappy in places, full of plot holes, but still enjoyable. Throughout the film I kept thinking that it was very similar to watching a Korean drama. So I had to laugh when I was doing the Google search for the above linked trailer and discovered that the movie is in fact a remake of a 2014 Korean movie of the same name. Go figure.
We saw the movie at Harbor Point Mall on the old Navy base and afterwards dined at a new Korean BBQ joint on the Riverwalk outside the mall.
Had the pork galbi and it was surprisingly good. I’ll definitely be back next time I get the hankering for some grilled Korean meat. They also featured a bulgogi dish that looked great on the menu, but said it served 3-4 persons. Need to bring some friends along for that…
So, who is this “we” I’m talking about?
Marissa took a night off work to join me. That’s about the first time she has done anything to make me think she likes me. Or maybe she just likes movies. One of those….
Honestly, the date night was especially unlikely because Marissa had broken up with me (via text) while I was in Angeles City. I was pretty confused about her reasoning (other than the fact that I had always assumed she just wasn’t really into me). Her message said she was “embarrassed” to be my girlfriend and she accused me of being a “player”. Well, okay then. I asked for some elaboration so I might have some insights into what I had done wrong but she went silent after that.
Now, in my long history of failed relationships I had never had any woman profess to be embarrassed to be with me. And as to being a player, well, I’m about as opposite of being a player as you can get. Hell, two night in Angeles and I didn’t even visit one girly bar. I must be the kind of player who has no game I guess. I came to find out later that this photo was the culprit:
To me, it is an innocent selfie shot of the Hashers riding the Jeepney out to the trail head. To Marissa it was evidence that I was coupled up with that gal sitting next to me in the Jeep. Apparently because we have the same hat (as do all the other Subic Hashers). Yes, typical insane Filipina jealously which I have little tolerance for. But hey, at least she cares!
So, I had a dart tournament on Tuesday which is also a day that Marissa works in Alley Cats where I play. She came in and made a big show of ignoring me. I put up with it for awhile, then I had the waitress send her over a beer. That put her in a tough spot. She works for customer drink commissions so she couldn’t really decline the drink. At first she sat at the bar drinking it, but of course that’s not appropriate either (the customer is paying for the company that comes with the beer). She finally came over and clinked her beer bottle against mine, said thanks for the drink, and went back to bar. I guess one of the other waitresses shamed her into doing the right thing, because after a bit she came and sat down on the stool beside me. Still not talking and her body language made clear she didn’t want to be there.
I started pushing Marissa to talk about the meaning behind her breakup words and she said she didn’t want to talk about it. I let it go, and bought her another beer. Other people at our table were having fun and we started joining in some. By the end of the night we were sharing some laughs. As I left, I thanked her for a good time and she said this was a much better way to end things. I agreed.
I had dart league on Wednesday, a day Marissa is not scheduled to work. So I was surprised when she walked in. I asked her if she was working and she said “no, I just came to see you play”. Hmm. Well, we had another good afternoon and I guess I might have asked her if she wanted to get together sometime. She said let’s see a movie tomorrow. Aren’t you working? She responded it was a slow night anyway. And so that’s how the date came about.
So, where do things stand now? Damned if I know. The truth is our communication barrier remains an issue and honestly we just don’t have a whole lot of common interests. We did have a nice dinner and movie date and I could see myself enjoying her company now and again. Just passing the time, however comfortably and well. One day at a time and all that.
What else?
Well, Buddy loves me. Regardless of whether I’m a player.
And Ester from the bar modeled what could be a new fashion trend…turning underwear into outerwear….
And this pretty much captures my state of being:
And there are worse things in life than being alone.
More photos from the Subic H3 Hash in Angeles on Monday. I didn’t take these but they kind of round out the event.
Here I am heading out…
…and away I go!
The “bridge to nowhere”. As I understand it the bridge was constructed in anticipation of some other development that then never took place. Apparently it connects to nothing.
The locals are making the most of it.
I just can’t imagine living like this…
…but you also have to admire the folks making the best of an impossible situation…
Some of the locals enjoying the riverside…
The river we waded across.
And my triumphant return after successfully completing the trail.
So in a first for most of us I expect, one of the guys brought his friend along. Apparently, he had always wanted to join the Hash House Harriers but died before making it happen. So, the ashes were anointed and he was given a proper Hash name before being dumped in the river..
We did our Subic “outstation” Hash yesterday in Angeles. It didn’t rain the whole way, but it seems that when it wasn’t raining we were wading through water. Not a real difficult trail though which was good given the conditions. Let’s go to the photos…
Loading up the Jeepneys. Destination: the bridge to nowhere.
A well marked trail is always a plus…
Gathering up…
…and we’re off, er, on-on!
Still shocking to see how some folks live in these parts…
Who builds an amusement park in the middle of nowhere? Well, I didn’t see any customers as we walked by…
Jumping across obstacles like this free flowing creek always makes me feel my age. I was successful here though. Surprisingly.
A carabao enjoying his afternoon of grazing was unperturbed by the procession of Hashers passing by….
Muddy but at least not going downhill….
Checking to make sure I was not bringing up the rear. I’m paranoid about getting lost and left…
There was no jumping over this creek. And it was surprisingly deep (up to my waist in the middle).
And then we did my first ever Hash river crossing. Wasn’t as deep as the creek but it was flowing fast enough to make it difficult to keep your feet in places…
But we all made it back “on-home” for the after Hash festivities….
It was actually a good day. Well, that portion of the day was good. The rest of the day pretty much sucked, but that’s a story for another day.
Here I am in rainy Angeles City, Pampanga, Republic of the Philippines. I was born in the other city of angels, Los Angeles. This town is more like my doppelganger. I really have come to despise nearly everything about this place. It’s kind of odd in a way because this was my very first destination in the PI, over ten years ago now. Angeles hasn’t changed so much, perhaps I have.
It’s ugly, dirty, full of beggars and a bunch of losers who call themselves “whore mongers”. About all the town has on offer is the girly bars that cater to that crowd. I honestly couldn’t convince myself to visit the bar district even for old times sake. It not only has no appeal to me, it tends to make me feel depressed. How are these bars different than those in Barretto you may be asking? Well, it’s hard to explain. More mercenary somehow. Bigger isn’t always better perhaps. Anyway, it’s not for me.
Coming into town. Angeles is about an hour and half drive from Subic.
The Orchid Inn. First place I stayed when I came here all those years ago. Still my sentimental favorite for some reason.
It’s older and not as fancy as some of the hotels here, but it has a great pool if you are into that kind of thing.
An Angeles street scene…
And the infamous Walking Street girly bar district.
Jeepney terminal. Jeepney’s are the Filipino mass transit system.
So I came to this crap town for the purpose of participating in a sister Hash’s 40th Anniversary gathering. It was an incredible turnout with over 100 Hashers in attendance. The Hash itself was pretty crappy though. It hadn’t rained all day…until we started the actual Hash. Got soaked and muddy, then the trail turned to shit and we eventually just turned around and retreated. It was a shitty trail.
At the “on-home” Premiere Hotel waiting to depart…
We were transported to and from the trail in four Jeepneys (quite of few of the local Hashers took their private vehicles). I’ll grant that riding in the Jeepney was much more comfortable than the truck we use in Subic. Good thing too, because it was a 40 minute drive to our destination.
Exiting the Jeepneys and preparing to gather for last minute instructions from the Hare.
And then we were “On-On”. The Hare said there were 3 trails, long (8 kms), medium (5 kms) and short (3 kms). Given it was POURING down rain, I opted for the medium trail. As I mentioned it was a disaster and basically rendered impassable by the muddy and steep descent to the river.
Other folks made it all the way though. In fact, we had to wait a good hour or more for the long trail runners to return to the Jeepneys before we departed back to the on-home at the Premiere. Luckily, the Jeepneys were equipped with coolers of beer, so that helped pass the time. I wondered what would happen to anyone left behind. We were WAY out in the wilderness. I know we carefully accounted for everyone who had ridden out in our Jeepney, don’t know if the others bothered to do that or not. Anyway, I survived another Hash, so that’s a good thing.
I was still soaking wet when we got back to the Hotel. I hung around awhile waiting for the food and festivities to commence, but finally gave up and caught a trike back to my place at the Orchid Inn. Somewhere along the way I lost two vape pens. Probably fell out of my pocket getting in or out of the trike.
Took a nice shower and put on dry clothes and went looking for dinner. Sat down at an outside table at Tequila Reef and waited to be served. And waited. And waited. Gave up and went walking around looking for alternatives. Lots of options of course, but I was in a vaping frame of mind and they are very strict on that here. Even the no smoking signs specifically include vaping. Another reason I hate this town! I eventually settled on a little outdoor cafe on Walking street and had some chicken wings. Enjoyed flirting a little with the cute waitress and watching the passerby.
As I mentioned above, I couldn’t stomach the bars so I opted for a massage instead. I got a decent enough one (no happy ending) and was charged 550 pesos, which is way too much for an hour. But I didn’t care. I paid with a 1000 peso note and since they didn’t have change, I gave another hundred and got a 500 peso and 50 peso note in return. I intended to give the masseuse a 50 peso tip but when I got back to my hotel I noted I didn’t have the 500 peso note anymore. Oops. Damn real expensive massage!
Finished the night with a banana split at my hotel bar.
Still raining this morning in this God forsaken burg, but I’ve got another Hash to do this afternoon. Got a message that the intended trail has been scrapped because of the weather and we will be Hashing a more rain-appropriate route of 5 kms instead. Sounds like a plan. Afterwards I’ll be spending another night here at the Orchid. Maybe I’ll be in a better frame of mind and even find a way to enjoy myself…
“Like sands through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives…”
Here’s how my yesterday went.
Buddy is always *ahem* excited to see me in the morning…
Hugs and kisses…
Buddy loves his daily walks through the neighborhood…
“hurry up old man!”
Doesn’t that just get your goat?
Buddy likes to pee here…
…I’m stumped as to why.
We always pause to take in the view.
Last night was the “Ms. Dryden” beauty pageant held at Rum Jungle.
I was asked to be a judge. There were 20+ young ladies competing in three categories–casual wear, lingerie, and swimsuit…
Judge not lest ye be judged. Oh well.
Today I’m heading out to Angeles City for a couple of days. AC is really not a place I enjoy much, but I’m going to participate in the Angeles Hash 40th Anniversary event this afternoon. Tomorrow the Subic Hash will take place in Angeles as well. It’s time for a little change of pace I suppose. And hey, maybe some new blogging material, right?
One of the factors in my choosing Barrio Barretto as my new home town in the Philippines was the robust expat community that resides here. Three months into the life and I’m feeling accepted and comfortable as part of that community.
Which is not to say I’ve made many friends yet. That’s not unusual for me as I’m not quick to open up to strangers and so my relationships tend to rarely progress beyond the acquaintance level. I guess that’s just my comfort zone. I got to thinking about this topic when I came across an article on the science of friendship. Apparently, making friends isn’t much like falling in love at all (at least the love at first sight kind). Friendship requires a pretty significant investment of time:
So what should you do if your social life is lacking? Here, too, the research is instructive. To begin with, don’t dismiss the humble acquaintance. Even interacting with people with whom one has weak social ties has a meaningful influence on well-being. Beyond that, building deeper friendships may be largely a matter of putting in time. A recent study out of the University of Kansas found that it takes about 50 hours of socializing to go from acquaintance to casual friend, an additional 40 hours to become a “real” friend, and a total of 200 hours to become a close friend.
Well, I have plenty of time on my hands these days, but there are probably only a handful of people I can be bothered to spend it with on a regular basis.
The demographics of our humble expat community is pretty squarely in the older category, hell to be honest, you might even call them elderly. Not real surprising I suppose when you consider that almost every foreigner living here is more or less retired. A very small percentage might be doing some type of online business and others have some local business interests. Everyone else is just filling in the days until the days run out. Being in my early 60s, I’d guess I’m at or near the median age. A surprising number of old fuckers at 70+ still loving the Philippines lifestyle. On the lower end of the age spectrum would be the military retirees, some as young as late 40s.
Almost all of us are white, and I’m sorry to report that based on conversations I’ve overheard, a few are blatantly racist. I’m not talking about being un-PC, these folks are 1950s throwbacks. Not quite the Klan, but ignorant assholes regardless. Ah well, just another limiting factor on making friends here.
Of course, the flip side of the coin is there are a fair number of bright and successful folks who can carry on an interesting conversation. I had the pleasure of sitting and chatting with a couple of these guys the other night over drinks at Wet Spot.
Jerry was one of the first people I met when I moved here. Late 60s I reckon and he’s also a walker. I’ve ran into him on the road a couple of times, but we both prefer to walk alone. I also see him and his mistress (a story for another day) at darts on occasion. I’m not sure what he used to do for a living, although some of it involved working as a contractor with DoD. I know he spent time in Korea (long before I was there) and in less desirable locales like Afghanistan. He’s been in the Philippines for well over ten years and knows just about everyone in town. He’s managed bars here in the past and was engaged in some other businesses as well. He pretty much just lives off investments and pensions these days though. Anyway, I learn a lot chatting with him and it’s always enjoyable. He is sponsoring a young woman’s college tuition which is a potential life changing opportunity for her. I really admire that.
The other guy at my table was Dave. Now, I’ve known “of” Dave since my very first visit to the Philippines. He owned a hotel/restaurant/bar in Angeles City back then. A few years ago he sold out and moved to Barretto. He heads up the Dryden Group here, which operates the Maze (a group of 5 bars in one building) and the Paradise Hotel. I’m sure he’s involved in other businesses as well, but you get the picture.
Dave is the MC for the weekly SOB dance competitions. Not a bad little retirement hobby…
Dave is in his 70s and is a retired physician. He was a bigshot with the German company Siemens as well (their medical equipment division). He spends part of his time each week in Manila and a couple of months at his house in The Netherlands. Fascinating man to chat with as you might imagine. Dave’s a good guy to know as he is well connected with the local politicians and on several occasions has interceded with the authorities to bail out foreigners who have done stupid shit (usually while drunk). He’s also big into charitable causes, something that I’m interested in getting more involved in as well. One thing he does is help folks get dental issues resolved. I’ve been shocked at just how many of the young ladies around here are missing teeth. Almost like being back in Arkansas (joke). Anyway, giving someone back their smile would be a big deal with lasting impact. I actually have one of the Hash gals in mind for making an offer of time in the dentist chair.
The point is that there are people around here that I’m looking forward to getting to know better. We may or may not become friends, but I do at least enjoy their company. There is more to life than beer after all. But nothing beats beer and good company to go with it!
