Spent a couple of hours out on the Kokomo’s floating bar yesterday. The brown knees there seemed to enjoy the brownies I shared with them. There was a big spender aboard who bought all the girls a drink for Mother’s Day. That made me happy because I didn’t have to! As people came and went, I couldn’t help but notice a large percentage of the guests were Filipinos. You almost never saw that in the past. Things are changing around here as the Subic area becomes a destination for folks fleeing the big city lockdowns. That’s good for business, and keeping the bars viable is good for me. Win-win!

Regarding the title of this post, no, the floating bar was not sinking. But the sun was.

After departing the floating bar, I walked across the beach and had some dinner at Da’ Kudos.

Speaking of walking, this is Hash Monday and I’m one of the Hares:

We set the trail this morning and it kind of kicked my ass. Two climbs on a hot day wasn’t much fun. Most likely, it will be hotter this afternoon when everyone else does the trail Glad I’m not them! Now I need to shower up and get ready to head out to the VFW to give the Hashers their marching orders.

I’m glad I don’t have this kind of comma problem:

I wasn’t having the best of days yesterday, so I decided to do something about it. My preferred method was to drown my sorrows. It seemed to work just fine. I was starting out much earlier than normal, leaving the house at 1:30. I had the bright idea of doing an old-fashioned bar crawl–I’d start at the first bar on my side of town, and then go bar-to-bar until I reached the last one or couldn’t go any further. That plan got stymied immediately when the first bar–Outback–hadn’t opened yet (most bars here open no earlier than 2:00). Well, why not do it in reverse? I’d walk to the other side of town, then make my way back. I knew Dive In opened early so that would be my first stop.

A traditional bar crawl usually entails one beer then moving on to the next bar. I threw tradition out the window. For one thing, my friend Jessa came and sat with me. Of course, I bought her a drink. Gerlie was also at the bar with her boyfriend, and she bought me a beer in memory of her beating me at darts Friday night. Then a customer who remembered me from somewhere, but I didn’t remember him, sent over another beer. Jessa suggested we play a game of pool, so we did that. It was also another bar employee’s birthday (19, yikes!) and pizza and chicken were delivered for the celebration. Naturally, I bought the birthday girl a drink. By now I had been in Dive In for several beers and I knew the bar crawl idea wasn’t going to happen.

I decided to start making my way back to my side of town. Along the way, I came upon Cheap Charlies and decided to have a quick cold one upstairs. I was surprised that I was the only customer.

Just a couple of beers there, and I moved on up the highway. And then I came to Beach Please, and thought “why not?”.

I was also the only customer here. I’m pretty sure Beach Please is targeting the locals market–no girls at all.

A couple more beers, then I walked on the beach for a bit until I reached Mango’s.

This was my last stop of the day. I know I took a trike home from there, but this morning I couldn’t remember if I had paid my bar tab before leaving. I may have been a little inebriated by then.

It’s Mother’s Day today, so naturally I’m remembering my sweet mom.

In other news, I signed the lease for my new place today. I received no response from the current landlord to the email I sent. The message I sent asking if he’d received the email was also ignored. I’m probably going to have a fight on my hands. My move-in date for the apartment is June 1. This current residence is paid for through the end of July. Absent a refund, it looks like I’m going to be maintaining two places. It’s nice to be rich!

I snapped some photos of the apartment this afternoon:

Anyway, it’s smaller than what I have now, but it will suffice. Too bad my current landlord thought raping me for a hundred bucks a month was a good idea. Glad that I had this option.

So that’s where things stand as of the moment. Going to make a run out to the floating bar this afternoon. Yes, I made some brownies for the brown knees there. But before I go, let me leave you with this:

A second place finish in darts last night. No complaints, really. We threw well, our opponents threw weller…er, better I mean. That’s the way the darts fly sometimes.

Our Friday hiking group journeyed out past Naugsol to begin a planned hike to Tibag and back. On a previous visit, we walked the highway, this time we were planning to take a riverside path. Of course, things don’t always go according to plan. Our trail led us up to the top of a small mountain, then abruptly dead-ended. I hate backtracking, but we had no choice. We eventually took a little-used trail down the mountain, and near the bottom, we ran into the trail we thought would lead us to Tibag. Alas, a couple of kilometers later it also came to a dead-end. Another retreat, then we said “fuck it” and made our way up to the highway. It was too late at this point to continue on to Tibag, so we just hiked the highway back to our vehicle. Enjoy the photos from our ill-fated adventure:

Ah, well. Tibag will be there next time. Maybe we’ll actually find a way to get there!

In the meantime, I’m considering starting a chapter of the People Encouraging Niceness In Society here in Barretto. How hard can it be?

And life goes on.

I just watched a documentary on Bangladesh. Pretty shocking really. I mean, on a very basic level I was aware that it was a poor and poverty-stricken nation. I remember that concert George Harrison hosted back in 1971 (damn, I’m old!), but I just haven’t paid much attention since then. Wow. I apologize for calling the Philippines a third-world country. That’s an insult to the genuine third-world status of Bangladesh. Don’t take my word for it, you can see what I saw on YouTube.

So, you may be asking what in the hell am I doing watching TV on a perfectly fine Thursday afternoon? Truth is, I’m feeling poorly today. No fever, no cough, no energy. Yeah, that again. Took the dogs for an abbreviated walk, came home, and took a two-hour nap. Woke up and moved onto the couch, then turned on my little-used television. Scrolled through some YouTube recommendations and clicked on the one above. I don’t know why. Anyway, it remains to be seen whether I’ll find the strength to venture out later today or not.

Yesterday, I changed things up a bit and started my beer drinking at the Dive In bar. It’s on the far end of town and there is nothing really special about the place. Well, other than the fact that my ex-crush Jessa works there as a bartender. Naturally, I bought her some lady drinks, she sat with me at the bar, and we had a very pleasant chat for an hour or so. I was reminded of why I was attracted to her in the first place. No, I don’t expect I’ll be attempting to resurrect that relationship, but I’m glad we are still on friendly terms. As I was leaving, Jessa told me not to be such a stranger. I responded there are so many bars to visit and so little time. But I may try to find a way to add Dive In to my rotation.

Next, I had a couple of more beers at It Doesn’t Matter. The place was pretty packed for a Wednesday evening. Glad it is going well for the new owners. My regular waitress there, Roan, is a hoot. She’d been out sick for a few days and I mentioned the waitress who served me in her absence. Roan asked if had told her any jokes. I told her no and asked why she wanted to know. She said, “I’m going to use them, but don’t want to tell a joke they’ve heard already.” I was impressed that she even remembered my jokes, let alone found them funny! So, of course, I felt obligated to tell her another one:

A friend’s wife has been ill for quite some time and the doctor has been running tests to find out what is wrong. Finally, the doc told my friend he’d narrowed it down to two possible causes–AIDS or Alzheimer’s. My friend was like “oh my God! What should I do?” The doctor replied, “well if it were me I’d drive her ten miles out of town. If she comes back home, don’t fuck her!”

Yeah, not my best work, but Roan laughed politely. Oh, coincidentally, Roan used to work at Dive In and is friends with Jessa. Life in a small town, eh?

I departed shortly thereafter and headed out to The Pub for my weekly fix of Korean-style chicken wings. I’m usually only in there once a week, but I’m greeted like a regular: “Welcome, John. San Miguel Zero and sixteen chicken wings to go, right?” Yep, thanks! That’s my kind of service and the wings were excellent as usual.

Ah, I’ve become a predictable man of routines it seems. Monday I Hash. Tuesday is darts at Alley Cats. Wednesday has become It Doesn’t Matter night (and wing night, of course). Thursday I hit up the Kokomo’s floating bar on Baloy Beach, Friday and Saturday more darts at Alley Cats, and on Sunday I like to visit my friends at Cheap Charlies. I was not kidding when I told Jessa that I wasn’t sure how to fit Dive In into my schedule.

I don’t know if I’m feeling better or not, but I just popped some brownies into the oven. I don’t want to disappoint the brown knees on the floating bar should I decide to venture out later.

Yesterday, I sent this email to my landlord:

Hello, this is John McCrarey, your tenant in Casa Rosenda.

I have reviewed the lease contract I signed with Gloria Ocampo on May 25, 2018.  The term of the lease was for three years, expiring May 25, 2021.  In accordance with the terms of the lease, this is the formal notice of my intention to NOT renew the lease. 

I have also reviewed my rental receipts which confirm I paid a one-month advance rent and two-month deposit on June 18. 2018.  I trust the two-month deposit will be returned to me promptly.  Please advise if that is not the case.

Also, on December 29, 2020, I paid six months’ rent in advance.  That means my rent is paid through the end of June 2021.  Additionally, I paid one-month advance rent when I signed the lease, so that means the rent is paid through the end of July 2021.  I am prepared to vacate the house by June 1, 2021, provided the rent payments are refunded.  Please advise of your intentions in this regard.

To summarize, as things stand, I am owed two months advance deposit (90,000 pesos) and two months advance rent payments totaling 90,000 pesos, for a total of 180,000 pesos.
Let me know if you have any issues or disagreements with my assessment.

Sincerely,
John M. McCrarey

No response yet. I’m in a bit of a box. I don’t want to lose my new apartment, so I’ll need to sign a lease there next month. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to give up this place before my paid rent has either been refunded or expires. I might have two houses for a while. Everyone I talk to says it’s doubtful I will get the security deposit back. If they do go that route, I’ll do my best to make sure every expat in town knows not to rent from them (in addition to my house, they several duplexes they want to rent out). I’ll help Karma out in any way I can!

And that’s the way it is in my neck of the woods. It could always be worse, and it is in Bangladesh.

Reader: Your grammar’s pathetic.

Me: Oh, yeah? Well, your grandpa’s no better, either

Just a little inside humor. See the comments to yesterday’s post for the backstory. All in good fun.

So, a development of sorts in the continuing drama associated with my pending move. Now, I previously mentioned that one of the brothers in the landlord family was unaware that I had been hit with a rent increase. Apparently, he was upset that he had not been consulted. He has not said anything directly to me, choosing instead to relay information through my basement neighbor, who is technically his employee. He told her to tell me that he had talked to his brother and sister and they agreed to reduce the rent increase to 5%. As you may recall, that is the amount originally proposed that I had objected to–their counteroffer was 10%. Anyway, I relayed back through the neighbor that it was too late; I’d already verbally committed to another place. I also had her convey a counteroffer on my behalf–if they would reduce my rent by 10% I would consider staying. Haven’t heard back. Don’t expect I will.

Ah, the art of negotiation. I spent a goodly portion of my career in labor relations where I participated in collective bargaining for labor agreements. At least the union’s proposals had a basis in reality. I still have no idea what the hell my landlords are thinking. Maybe they aren’t.

I also believe I mentioned I know my upstairs neighbors. They are both Hashers, and the husband (also named John) plays darts. As I was leaving for the tournament on Friday, John was walking past my house on his way to Alley Cats as well. So, we walked together. John casually mentioned that his downstairs neighbors were moving out and he was happy about it because they were so noisy. I told him I was planning to move in downstairs. He was a little surprised and said that explains why he got the email from his landlord asking if he objected to allowing two dogs downstairs. He didn’t. I’m actually not noisy at all, and my dogs only bark when there’s a reason–like someone being outside the door. I don’t think we’ll have any issues in that regard. While I’d prefer to have a house to myself, I’m already thinking in terms of being accommodating. For example, I’ll put my grill in the carport in order to avoid sending up smoke from my balcony to his apartment. Hopefully, we will all just get along fine and dandy.

What else have I got for you? Well, John Kim’s The Pub restaurant just published a new menu. I’ll share it here to illustrate that it isn’t hard to find good food in my little town.

Damn, now I’m hungry for some reason.

I believe getting vaccinated against COVID is a personal choice. I probably will at some point, especially if my freedom to travel is contingent upon vaccination. Other folks might choose a different path, and that’s fine with me.

I am SO ready to do some travelling!

I’ve got pork chops in the crockpot for dinner tonight, and I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (on toast) for lunch. Is there no end to my creativity in the kitchen?

I’ll close out today’s post with these words of wisdom:

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.

I have heard it said that over time humans begin to resemble their pet dogs. I wonder if the reverse is true as well?

Speaking of dogs, my new landlady provided a modified pet amendment to the lease that includes a provision for TWO dogs. So, that’s another hurdle cleared. I went through my desk drawers yesterday and found my original lease for this house and my rent and deposit receipts. I also have the receipts for the three aircon units I’ll be taking with me. Yeah, I’m expecting trouble. As I understand it, the Ocampo’s are a politically connected and powerful family (the daughter was a Congresswoman), so I doubt I’ll prevail in any court battles. We’ll see what happens, but I do prefer to avoid being deported, so I’m only going to push it so far. More to come on that I’m sure.

In the meantime, life goes on like it always does. Walked out to Baloy beach yesterday afternoon. It was deserted.

What’s changed? Well, Manila is on a lockdown status which means no one is supposed to travel to or from that area. Just read today that one of the local hotels is being investigated for accepting guests from Manila this past weekend. The other thing that happened was a couple of drownings. Kids under 15 are not supposed to be out of the house (same with old fuckers over 65) and that rule still applies here in Olongapo. So, the police are patrolling the beaches on foot now and families are staying away. By the way, no one has ever asked me my age throughout this pandemic, but if they ever do I’m going to say “55”. That’s actually the year I was born. I’ll let the cops do the math. If they can. Which I doubt.

If I’m on Baloy beach, you know I’m bound to wind up on the Kokomo’s floating bar. And I did. Just a handful of customers, most of whom I gathered were up from Angeles City, which is still on a lockdown that includes an alcohol ban. Poor bastards!

I started feeling a little hungry, so I grabbed the menu from Treasure Island and had a look. For some reason, I decided to give the Mexican a try–quesadillas and tacos. Now, the kitchen at TI is one of the better ones in town, but I’ve generally been disappointed with the Mexican dishes everywhere I’ve tried them.

The girls were all hungry too, so of course, I fed them. Some Filipino dishes and chicken. They seemed pleased with their meal, and that pleased me.

Well, I did have one for the road at Johan’s. Home by 8:00, made a smoothie, checked the ‘net, and headed off to bed.

Last night, or rather yesterday afternoon (I started at 4:30), my venue of choice for my libations was Cheap Charlies. Besides the two gals sitting on each side of me sucking down lady drinks, this is what I saw:

Shortly after the sunset, I headed on home to check on my pot roast.

Today is Hash Monday, and our On-Home is at the Alta Vista community center. That means making up a batch of chili for the hungry Hashers to enjoy after the hike.

What else have I got for you? Well, I came across this story about the history and origins of cusswords that I found quite interesting. I hope you motherfuckers like it too.

And the Babylon Bee brightened my day with this story entitled: “Man Who Agrees With The Media, Universities, Corporations, And Hollywood Thinks He’s Part Of The Resistance”. Maybe it will make you laugh too.

On a more serious note, it turns out these COVID mandates are indeed a joke. But you must have known that already. It’s been fun to watch (from afar) as no mandate states like Texas and Florida are suffering no apparent negative consequences, despite predictions of imminent disaster by our liberal elite. And now an MIT study explains why the fear mongers were wrong. It is well past time to let it go and let the rest of us get on with our lives unimpeded by the sheer stupidity of our duplicitous would-be rulers.

Ah, well. There’s always poetry.

This verse came immediately to mind:

Roses are red, violets are blue

I could have been happy, but I chose you

yours truly

Yeah, I won’t quit my day job. Oh wait, i don’t have one!

UPDATE: Just came across this bit of wisdom:

Things don’t always go according to plan. Take our hike up to the falls outside of Olongapo for example. We had intended to all meet up in the Gordon Heights barangay, do a 2.2K hike up into the mountains from there, have a picnic lunch, then hike back down. I honestly had some reservations about this trip and considered backing out. Then I was reminded that the hike had been rescheduled, at least in part, to accommodate me (I have darts this afternoon). As it turned out, my concerns about doing a trail Guenter called “easy” were misplaced. I should have been concerned about COVID. Or more specifically, the idiots in charge of “protecting” me from a crazy virus that apparently targets hikers in the great outdoors. Who knew?

I never did an actual headcount, but I reckon there were 15 or more of us. As we proceeded to march up the road we encountered some purok officials who were apparently overseeing a free rabies vaccination event (a purok is a neighborhood organization within the larger barangay, that is a section of the city). So, these purok folks asked where we were going and when we told them they responded “not allowed”. I’d say half the group just kept walking, the rest stayed back to see what the problem was. The problem at the base level was that these purok jerks love exercising authority that most thinking people are happy to just simply ignore. Had our group been the usual small number we might not have even been noticed, but now we needed to be made an example of to demonstrate to the local populace who is in charge. Or at least it seemed that way to me.

They were pretty pissed about the portion of the group who just kept on going, and a few minutes later a van with several barangay officials aboard showed up, presumably to chase them down. Guenter, who was our putative leader for this hike, tried to talk reason to them.

Eventually, it was decided to allow Guenter to make his case directly to the barangay Captain. So, he and his girlfriend/interpreter loaded up in the van, and off they went. Meanwhile, the group who had gone on ahead had decided to reverse course and return to see what was happening. Guenter returned about 20 minutes later and reported that the barangay Captain had agreed to let us depart for the falls, with the caveat that we could not return to (or through) Gordon Heights. He made it clear that us barangay Barretto folks were not welcome in his barangay. It was a classic Catch-22 situation, to avoid Gordon Heights would mean scaling a different mountain, and of course, abandoning our vehicles. A good portion of the group thought we should just ignore the barangay’s directive, do our hike as planned, and return where we pleased. That might have worked, but I wasn’t willing to chance it. The Bureau of Immigration has been making an example of foreigners who defy quarantine restrictions by deporting them and blacklisting them to prevent any future return. Just wasn’t worth it to me, and ultimately we all chose to do as we were told and depart Gordon Heights.

Before leaving, we discussed a Plan B that involved meeting in Naugsol and doing our picnic riverside. I was in a car with Scott and Dave and we picked up some ice and beer on the way. But when we reached the designated meeting location no one else was there. I learned later that Guenter’s group, who had hired a Jeepney, got turned back at another checkpoint in Santo Tomas, a barangay of Subic. At that point they just gave up the quest.

So, the five of us in Dave’s car did our own riverside luncheon. We were looking for a place with some shade, easy access to the river, and a place to park. We eventually found a location that offered all three, thanks to a kind local woman who rented us a lean-to for 150 pesos ($3.)

We had a pleasant enough lunch, then the beer ran out so it was time to go. On the way back to Barretto I got a message from Gary, a retired Navy guy with an FPO address, that my new debit card had arrived. We agreed to meet up at It Doesn’t Matter. It was a relief to have my replacement card, the one I have expires on Friday. That’s how I access all my cash here.

After a few more beers it was time for me to head on home. I’d missed my naptime and drank much more mid-day than normal. After taking a shower, I decided to spend my Friday evening at home. I fired up the grill and threw on some ribeyes:

Being at home well before bedtime left me with a dilemma–how to fill the hours? I turned on my little-used television and watched season one episodes of The Addam’s Family on YouTube. I used to really enjoy that show back in the day, but I’ve got to say I found it really disappointing last night. Not that funny and the over-the-top acting was off-putting as well. Hell, even Morticia wasn’t as hot as I remember her. Needless to say, if I’m going to add TV to my routine, I’m going to need to find something better to watch.

I only got in 7,000 steps yesterday, so I pushed myself a little harder and longer this morning, doing a two hour walk up the highway towards the Navy base. I also explored a little more of this village that I’ve always found intriguing.

Oh yeah, my landlord called last night with some news. Now they want to raise the rent ten percent! I expressed my displeasure and he said he’d go back and see if the family would settle for five percent. I think it is time to move.

Alright, gonna be late for darts. I’ll give you the story of Singles League playoffs tomorrow!

Yesterday I elected to vote with my feet, walking out to Baloy beach. When the resulting steps were tallied, I found myself installed aboard the Kokomo’s floating bar as the inaugural customer of the day.

Ouch, that was a pathetically strained attempt to make my attempted pun in the post title slightly more humorous. Sorry!

Anyway, I did make the journey to the floating bar for my weekly change of scenery. Pre-pandemic, there were three floaters to choose from, now it’s Kokomo’s or nothing. I do like spending some time out on the water though.

As I mentioned, I was the first and only customer. The gals seemed disappointed I didn’t bring any brownies with me. Well, I could see the staff was all pretty bored and being in a generous mood, I offered to buy dinner for everyone. That cheered them up! The food is delivered from Treasure Island’s kitchen, so I knew it would be good.

I was maybe just finishing my second (third?) beer when suddenly the girls behind the bar jumped up and ran out into the seating area. All the other gals gathered around then and spoke excitedly in Tagalog. It honestly appeared they were preparing to abandon ship. I asked what was going on and one girl said, “Fire!”. I had gotten up and was looking behind the bar but didn’t see any smoke or flames. Then the bartender said one of the electric circuits had blown. They called someone onshore and had the breaker switch for the floater turned off. So, there was no danger and also no power. Well, it was still daylight but I asked what was going to happen when the sun went down? They said they would likely just close early (normal closing time is 8 p.m.)

Nothing else to do now but wait for my food order to be delivered. And in due course, it arrived.

A good afternoon out and made some folks happy, all for just under fifty bucks. It’s easy to live large here!

Once back onshore, I decided to stop into Johan’s, a place I haven’t had the occasion to visit recently. It was my favorite Hash On-Home venue back in the day. I chatted with the manager for a bit and she said she’d love to have us there again, but a large gathering would attract unwanted attention from the powers that be. I understand her concerns.

About thirty minutes after my arrival, the power went out. What a coincidence, eh? This time it was widespread (what they call a brown-out) and all of Baloy was in the dark. Well, the other hotels all fired up their generators, but no one present at Johan’s knew how to do so. So, I sat in the glow of the emergency lighting and had another beer. No point in leaving, the power company that serves Baloy also covers Alta Vista. I messaged my helper and confirmed my house was also in the dark. Power was restored about an hour later and I called it a night.

I’m doing this post in the morning because I’ll be heading out to Gordon Heights in Olongapo soon. We’re doing a hike up to some falls today and having a picnic lunch up there. Not sure I’ll get home in time to post prior to darts.

And there you have the latest adventure in my exciting (for me) life.

A busy day yesterday, the highlight of which was the Wednesday Walkers group hike. More on that later.

The reason for the abbreviated post yesterday was simply a matter of time–I ran out of it. After the hike, we did our usual refreshment at Cheap Charlies. We departed after two beers because some workers started painting the bar. We are all like, seriously, you are gonna do that with customers inside? So, we voted with our feet and moved on up the street to Dynamite Dick’s. When we arrived, I almost left immediately because there didn’t appear to be enough outdoor seating available. The owner, Dick, told me not to be a wuss, and pull up a chair. They brought out a couple of more seats, and we all squeezed in.

Dynamite Dick’s is not one of my regular stops, but Dick is an interesting guy. An old Marine and Vietnam vet. Yes, he entertained us with some war stories, jokes, and memories from the days he was stationed in the Philippines. My favorite was when he and some of his mates were out drinking in an Olongapo tavern, and several British sailors wearing their dress white uniforms entered the bar. Dick said he went over to the DJ and had him play “The Battle of New Orleans”, a Johnny Horton ditty about the war of 1812. It’s a pretty funny song that I heard a lot growing up. It also mocks the Brits mercilessly, including this chorus: “well they ran through the briars, and they ran through the brambles, and they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn’t go. They ran so fast the hounds couldn’t catch ’em, on down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.” I guess the song had the desired effect because the British sailors all stood up in unison and the fight was on. Dick said their uniforms weren’t white when it was over.

It’s a good song, give it a listen if you haven’t heard it before.

Dick is also famous for giving his customers free drinks, and yesterday was no exception. Of course, I felt the obligation to reciprocate, and that led me to stay at DD’s longer than I normally would, leaving the bar at 2:30. I also did something I very rarely do during daylight hours–I took a trike home. I figured I could take a quick one-hour nap, and still have time for a post here before heading out for darts. Alas, I didn’t wake up until 4:30. So, I did my nothing post and passed on the darts. Instead, I enjoyed some beers at It Doesn’t Matter, which was hopping. Glad to see their bar is already so popular. When I had my fill, I hiked over to The Pub for my regular Wednesday take-out meal.

So, that leaves the walking group hike. Scott was the leader this week so I was expecting an easy trail. We left from my house and he indicated we would be “walking around Easter mountain”. I took that to mean the usual backroads and trails, but no climbs. I was wrong about that. We did do an up and over what I’d call the rump of Easter mountain, not real long but very steep. The down on the other side was also quite steep. Made for a more challenging hike than I anticipated, but still enjoyable. Let’s go to the photos:

A walk out to Baloy beach and some beers on the floating bar are in my immediate future. But before I go, let me share this:

And finally (no, I really mean it this time) there is this: