Me has not risen!

But I didn’t drop much either.  This week’s weigh-in finds me at 263.0 down .5 from last week and 15.5 since February 19.  Girth is unchanged at 49″ and down 2.5″ overall.

In other news, I pulled an all-nighter and watched the entire 7th season of Showtime’s Dexter last night.  It’s a fascinating concept (the “hero” is a serial killer) and the writers have done an outstanding job of keeping the storyline fresh and the plots reasonably believable.  In fact, they’ve addressed one of my major concerns–why no one (including his sister) at the police department had grown suspicious of Dex over the course of several television seasons and multiple kills.  Anyway, good television.

I’ll be flying out to Las Vegas on Thursday morning for the New World Dart Series.  This is a professional event for North American players.  As hard experience in Augusta and Virginia Beach have taught me, I am definitely not ready for prime time.  I may be an above average pub darter in Itaewon, but I can’t hang with these guys on anything approaching a competitive basis.  So, why do I try?  Because I can!  And it is Vegas baby!

Actually, I’d settle for a scale that accurately measures my relationship with gravity…

He told me flat out that I’ve got bad genes.  The most worrisome for me is the family history of diabetes.  After my last check up Dr. Yu (a hilarious* Korean at Soonchunhwang hospital’s international clinic) told me that I’ve dodged the diabetes bullet thus far but if I want to keep it that way I’d better start exercising and lose some weight.  I promised him I would be slimmer when I see him again in August.

Another doctor I follow online is a big promoter of the LCHF (low carb, high fat) diet.  So, I was definitely encouraged reading his latest post about a patient with Type 2 diabetes  who reports a stunning reversal of the effects of the disease after a year of the LCHF lifestyle.

So, on to the results of this week’s weigh-in.  One thing I’ve discovered is my scale basically sucks.  I mean, it’s a digital Health-o-Meter, a decent brand in the mid-price range.  But I weighed myself several times over the course of a few minutes and got a 1 pound variance in weight.  And no, I didn’t eat or poop in the interim.  I’m taking the reading in the middle for today.  Then I’ll go to Amazon and buy a new scale.

Today’s weight: 267.0 (or 266.5 or 267.5, take your pick).  That’s down (around) 3 pounds from last week’s 270.  And down 11.5 since February 19.  WooHoo!  Best of all I’m moving in the right direction again.  This is especially interesting to me because I was a total slug this week.  I mean, about the only exercise I got was getting up to take a leak during my marathon sessions of playing Civ IV. 

Girth remains unchanged from last week’s 50.5″ and down one inch overall.  Although it did seem that my shirt buttons weren’t bursting with their usual fervor.

Anyway, I’ll call that progress and recommit myself to actually moving around some in an exercise-like fashion.

*Here’s a funny Dr. Yu story.  Jee Yeun and I share appointments.  During our last visit I told Dr. Yu that Jee Yeun was always complaining about being bored.  I asked if there was anything he could prescribe for that.  Without missing a beat he responded “Yes!  Viagra.”

I can’t remember if I blogged that before or just posted on Facebook.  Ah well, it was worth repeating.

I came across the word “inexplicable” the other day so I thought I’d look up the definition.  The dictionary said “cannot be explained.”  So, I still don’t know what inexplicable means.

Bada bing.

Anyway, at today’s weigh-in I encountered a situation that cannot be explained.  Despite denying myself the wholesome sweetness of carbohydrates in all their fattening glory, I actually gained weight.  What the fuck is up with that?

I am discouraged by this unanticipated turn of events, but I’m committed to staying the course.  I just don’t know what I can do differently.  Well, I guess I could turn my good intentions about exercise into action.  Onward and hopefully downward.

This week’s weight is 270.0 (up from 268.5 last week and down 8.5 pounds since February 19).

Girth is 50.5, down .5 from last week and 1″ since I began the diet.

How do you gain weight and lose belly?  It’s inexplicable.

Time for the Sunday weigh-in report.

Sticking to the diet was tough this week as I was doing a whole lot of dart related travel.  I did alright I guess, but I was pretty damn hungry on occasion and didn’t have many options for a quick snack.  I had a $16 room service chicken Caesar salad one night and a 9 buck cheeseburger the next.  Of course, I just ate the meat and substituted a side salad for the fries.  For breakfast I ate omelets with ham, cheese and mushrooms.  And that was it.  I had prepared some snacks of celery sticks and string cheese but forgot to bring them with me.  And so it goes.

Today’s weight: 268.5 (-3.5 lbs from last week and -10 pounds since 2/19/13)

Girth: 51 inches (unchanged from last week and minus 1/2 inch overall).

I fully recognize that I won’t continue losing pounds at this rate but I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.  As far as I’m concerned, the less of me the better!

I’ve been following The Diet Doctor, a big proponent of the low carb lifestyle.  Give him a read.

If you’ve been waiting for my weekly weigh-in that is.  It’s not quite been a week, but I’ve picked Sunday as the day to mark progress (or failure) in my war with obesity.

I was sorely tested yesterday.  I started the morning with some eggs and bacon (but no toast or hash browns of course).  Later on we drove to Aiken for a big tourney in a format that required continuous play (standing and walking) for five straight hours.   Anyway, as we were arriving Jee Yeun announced her craving for a Burger King Junior Whooper.  I try to accommodate her desires when possible, and the people at the embassy did say that I had to feed her as a condition of granting her visa.  It smelled so good, but I refused the proffered bite.

So, I basically starved myself all afternoon (ha, you could call it the hunger games I suppose).  I did indulge myself three ultra light beers (2.6g of carbohydrates each) which is about half the amount I’d normally drink under stressful tournament conditions.  I filled the gaps with Diet Coke.

Anyway, despite my hunger I resisted the urge for fast food on the long drive home and instead thought about what I’d cook for myself when I arrived.  That turned out to be two grilled hamburger patties, two small corn-on-the-cob, and a small chef salad.  Yeah, I’m still eating a lot, just limiting the carbs.

And now (drum roll please) the results:

Weight: 272.0 (down from 278.5)

Girth (because circumference is too hard to spell): 51.0″ (down from 51.5″)

I’ll take those results!  Of course, sustainability is another issue.  But so far, so good.

Hopefully.  Yes, the time has been long overdue for me to shed more than a few pounds.  And so today I begin.

My strategy is to engage in a low carbohydrate diet regimen coupled with some moderate exercise (walking the treadmill, and as the weather dictates, riding my bicycle).

My goal is to lose 60 pounds in sixth months.

My current weight is 278.5 (shuddup!).  I carry most of my pounds around the middle and that is where I hope and expect to lose most of my weight.  My walrus-like girth (as measured across the belly button) is 51.5 inches.

The hardest part thus far was yesterday’s excursion to the Publix supermarket.  Walking down the aisles past all the amazing foods I’ve been missing these past several months in Korea was torturous.  I’m a snacker by nature and oh how I love eating sweets.  No mas!  Anio! Verbotten!  Fumay la bush!

Heck, even some stuff I thought was going to be acceptable proved upon further inspection of the label to be rich in carb grams.  So, it’s not going to be easy sledding folks.

My blog buddy the Big Hominid has recently embarked on a similar course of action.  Not to put any pressure on Kevin, but I’ll be looking to him for inspiration.  Or maybe an excuse.

Wish me well.

…you become one.

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!

Why?  Why the hell not?

January 1 found us in New Bern, NC staying aboard the sailboat Second Chance with my friends from high school, Rod and Pat Headlee.

February carried us back in Korea and this is the view from our new apartment.  Right on top of the Gireum station subway stop which is definitely a good thing.

March provided the opportunity to make a little fast cash with a second place finish in the Seoul International Dart League mid-season tournament.  That’s my British partner Sam “T-Rex” Hayward on the right.

April found us on the west coast at Daechon Beach.  We encountered some poor service at a local eatery so I demonstrated for a friend’s young son the appropriate way to express dissatisfaction.

May brought better food and service at Tabom, a Brazilian steak house in Itaewon.

June saw the crowning of the Ride it In dart team from Pub Dolce Vita as the SIDL “B” Division champions.  L-R Head cheerleader and keeper of the stats Jee Yeun Lee, Captain Bridget Werner from Texas, a fat guy from South Carolina, Louisianan Jacob Leonard, our token Canadian Cory Clow, and Greg “The Cobra” White of Bawl-Mor, Maryland.

July took us back to the USA and saw Jee Yeun being a traditional Korean grandmother by providing instruction to granddaughter Sydney on womanly responsibilities…

August brought us to Memphis, TN, my dad’s home town.  This is where we deposited his earthly cremains into the muddy Mississippi river.

September 23 saw my granddaughter Sydney celebrate her first birthday in the traditional Korean hanbok.  She didn’t quite know what the fuss was all about…

October brought us back to Korea once again and we journeyed out to the East Sea to enjoy the views from Naksana, a Buddhist Temple.

November calls for a feast and we had one with my Korean in-laws…

December took us to Osaka, Japan for a couple of days and provided a visa extension for yours truly.

Th-Th-Th That’s All Folks!  Happy New Year!

I was the editor of my high school newspaper. One night at the printers I discovered that someone on my staff had screwed up one of the page layouts. This meant a complete do-over and kept us all out late. I told our adviser that it was my fault. He said “today you became a leader”.

It was a lesson well-learned. Throughout my professional career when something went wrong, I’d stand up and take responsibility for it (fortunately, things didn’t go wrong all that often). By doing so, we were able to avoid all the blame and recriminations and get on with the business of fixing things.

Anyway, it worked for me and I wish more people would give it a try. Who knows, it might just make the world a little bit better for all of us.

I guess deep inside I always knew the day would come.  And now it has.  I was asked to appear as Santa Claus for a class of Korean preschool children.

Of course I accepted.  Who wants to disappoint kids just before Christmas?  I did ask the requester what made him think of me as a potential St. Nick.  After a quick glance at my belly he responded “because you are so jolly”.

So as I understand it, what Santa says in Korean is “Ho! Ho! Ho!”  I’ve got a month to practice.

The mail must go through.  Snail mail at least.  I’ve had email with aol from the beginning of time.  Well, internet time anyway.  And I never switched to the glamor babies like gmail simply because after all these years people now how to find me.  It would be great if you could have your email forwarded like the post office does, but apparently that is just a dream for the future.

I bring this up because when I tried to log onto my email account I got a message that it has been “blocked” due to “suspicious activity”.  Hmm.  So, at first there was a screen for changing my password.  The security questions it asked were the last four digits of my SSN and my birth date.   That seemed plenty suspicious to me because that kind of personal info can get you past most gatekeepers (like bank accounts).  Concerned someone was Phishing, I logged off aol and tried again.  This time it didn’t ask the security questions, just said I was “blocked”.

There was an 800 number provided (lot of good that does me in Korea!).  Well, I’ve called it on my dime 3 times now and got the same message about “due to unusually high call volume” I have to call later.

I had the bright idea of sending them an email to inquire as to what was going on, but when I tried to log on I got this message about my account being blocked…

Not in the permanent sense that Allison Krause sings about.  At least I hope not.  But it’s back to the USA for me and my sweetie.  My kids and grand kids are awaiting our return.  And I reckon my lawn is going to need a good mowing after all these months.

It’s always sad to leave my Korean home.  I had some good time this trip, that’s for sure.  But truth be told, I’m tired and it will be good to rest and relax soaking that smooth, slow Southern lifestyle for awhile.

I finally heard something from the United States Customs and Immigration Service regarding Jee Yeun’s fiancee visa.  A cryptic email saying they had sent me a letter requesting “additional documentation”.  It’s frustrating that I waited six months for that piece of news.  Well, I’ll sort it all when I get home.

I expect to be back here in Korea sometime in the fall.  Unless I have the misfortune of flying away in the sense of the song.  But I’m counting on another 20 years or so in this life, so don’t hold your breath!

Blogging will continue from the USA.  Who knows, I might even have something interesting to say.  Hey, it could happen!

We always carry a suitcase of kimchi home with us.  Makes me nervous going through customs.  I always declare it and they’ve never said anything.  But if the were to confiscate Jee Yeun’s mother’s kimchi, well, it wouldn’t be pretty.

Had my last Korean BBQ last night with the in-laws and my nephew Justin who is here teaching English. Dwaegi galbi, of course!

Back in the days when I was armed and dangerous.

…and it appears that my impending death, while nearer, is not as yet imminent.  Which is to say that given my age and lifestyle, I’m not doing all that bad.

The best news is that I apparently have the prostrate of a 20 year old.  The not so good news is some blockage (30%) in one of the heart arteries, fatty liver disease, and some lung damage from my years as a smoker.  But, no cancer or anything that’s gonna kill me quick.

Doctor Yoo invited me to join the team.  As he put it, medicine only goes so far and the rest is up to me.  Apparently, he’s serious about me losing some weight and he thinks it’s time I got serious about it too.

I see a treadmill in my future.  Actually, I see a treadmill right behind me.  Now I need to see it in motion.

I always thought that would be a great title for an autobiography.  It’s probably been used before.  I can’t remember the last time I had an original thought.  Actually, I do.  But that was a pun so it probably doesn’t count.

After more than 56 years of hard (meaning soft) living, I’m sure my body has paid the price.  How much, I don’t as yet know.

Nothing significant to report from today’s version of being poked, prodded, and probed.  Had some different tests than last time, but I’ll have to wait for next week’s appointment with Dr. Yu to get the full results.

I was a little disconcerted that my blood pressure was so high, it’s usually borderline (135/90) but today it was 156.  Also, they have this machine that takes a picture of your heart in 3D that they wanted to use on me.  Apparently, your heart needs to slow down to like 70 or something (keep in mind, I know nothing about it other than what I was discerning from some very rudimentary English).  They gave me a little pink pill, but apparently my heart rate was still too high, so I sat there for an hour and the gave me another pink pill.  They did the test, so I guess I’m golden.

In an MRI-like machine it freaked me out when a male voice with an English accent said distinctly: “take a large breath and hold it in.”  Followed by “now let it all out”.  After the test, I asked the technician about it but he didn’t understand a word I said.  I heard the same voice again in the 3D heart machine, so it was in fact recorded as I had surmised.

The last test of the day involved the prostrate.  A pretty nurse told me something about a probe and my anus.  It wasn’t the pretty nurse who inserted said probe but rather some male Korean technician.  He was none to gentle nor generous with the lubricant.  And while he was probing around in there his cell phone rang.  And he answered it!  I felt so cheap and humiliated.

Ah well, it’s all over now except for the crying.  Which I hope I won’t have to do after getting my results.

Well, the medical techs at Soonchunwhang University Hospital anyway.  Just like last time.

…and a different spelling.

I’ve lost my voice.  No smartass, it’s not obvious from the quality of my posts here lately.  I mean I can’t talk.  Well, I can sorta squawk and croak.  Bridget Werner from the dart team calls it “a creepy old man voice” in a “hey kids, wanna come to the basement for a Popsicle” kinda way.

It’s mostly just a pain in the ass (and throat) and mildly distressing.  I mean, it’s been over 3 weeks now.  I checked the internets and apparently it is not that unusual for laryngitis to take several weeks to heal.  So, I guess I’ve just got to tough it out and ride this hoarse till it drops…