Just got word that I have been approved for Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA) visa status. That was the last remaining hurdle to my impending employment in the ROK.
Now I just have to wait on an official offer letter from the company. The guy I’m replacing hasn’t given an end date yet, and the offer letter won’t be issued until he does. I’m chomping at the bit to get back though so I hope I don’t encounter any horseshit. (Heh, kind of a mixed metaphor but both are equine related, so buck off!)
Anyway, my spirits are high at the moment. Lots to get done before I depart, now maybe I’ll feel motivated to get off my ass and get it done.
So the daughter gifted me a vapor e-cigarette set tonight. I’ve tried the vapor route before with several different varieties but found them all wanting. This one though seems quite satisfying thus far.
Getting my nicotine fix without all the other poisons!
Tried it out at a darts match tonight. Competition always brings on the urge to smoke, but I made it through an entire singles match with just a few puffs of vapor. Won 15-1 too, so I call that a successful debut for my new tool.
As a reward for my good behavior I broke out the new blender.
With a push of the button this…
…became this. Not bad if I do say so myself…
In other news, there is none re: the pending job. So, they haven’t said no yet which is good. I’m told that given the short holiday week it will be Monday at the earliest before I learn my fate. Hope springs eternal and all that. But I wasn’t hoping I’d be able to tell my prospective boss “Thanks for Giving me a job”. Oh well, I’ll settle for an early Christmas present.
As I pursue my quest for gainful employment I continue to overcome the hurdles and obstacles placed in my path so as to be found an acceptable worker bee by my Uncle Sam and his minions.
Today I was tested. Everyone who comes to Korea to work for USFK is required to complete a course in “Theater Specific Training” prior to their arrival on the peninsula. The course is intended to make you familiar with certain USFK policies and procedures, familiarize yourself with Korean law and requirements for SOFA personnel, and provide you with a general understanding of the expectations that will ensure you are a worthy ambassador for the USA. I had actually done the training before back in the day, but it is amazing just how much you forget.
Anyway, just getting to the training was a bit of an adventure. I was sent a link to the training website but for some inexplicable reason my laptop would not open any .mil webpage. I was more than a little concerned about this, and in desperation I fired up my old desktop computer. It worked like a charm. I’m surmising that my laptop must be infected by some malware that the government website blocks. I’ll have to see about getting that fixed I reckon.
Once I had accessed the USFK page and followed the link to the Joint Knowledge Online (JKO) training site I was faced with a classic Catch-22. I couldn’t access the training system without a CAC card, but I can’t get a CAC card until I am in Korea. And I can’t come to Korea until I have completed the training. Fortunately, on page 14 of the training instructions I found a work-around. This required completion of a form which I emailed to a compliance officer in Korea who then vouched for my authenticity to the folks at JKO who then provided me a temporary log-in good for 24 hours. So this morning I got busy.
I wound up taking the test twice. There were four “Theater Specific” training options. Two for PCS (permanent change of station) and two for TDY (temporary duty). Well, I’m going for PCS but I wasn’t sure which one of those to take. I did the first and decided it was more military oriented, so I did the second which was indeed more civilian centric. I will say that my test taking skills are a tad rusty as I missed a couple of questions by not carefully reading the multiple choice options. I was also a little perturbed that the training permitted me to skip the module on Department of Defense Dependent Schools (DoDDS) since I have no dependent children. But both tests had questions pertaining to DoDDs on the final exam, and those I got wrong. Well, I passed so mission accomplished and all that.
So as things now stand I’ve signed the counseling memo for my ration control violations, my Military Police check came back clean, my security clearance is in the system, albeit “archived” and I am assuming it can be resurrected. I think all that is left is a determination of my status as an “ordinary resident” of the USA. Hell, I consider myself extraordinary but it’s not my call.
Feeling cautiously optimistic at this point, but keeping my fingers crossed regardless.
Last week I wrote about a letter I received from the Catholic Diocese in Charleston asking some questions regarding the circumstances of my first marriage (39 years ago). Today’s mail brought the news that since we “did not follow the required form of marriage (canon 1108)” I am not bound to that marriage and I am “now free to contract a marriage in the Catholic Church”. Ain’t that sweet? Although I do wonder how my current Buddhist wife would feel about me marrying a Catholic. Of course, I’m not sure the Diocese intended to grant dispensation for my other previous marriages (to a Baptist and a Maronite version of Catholic).
Speaking of wives, I was speaking to my present absent wife tonight. It was our first contact in 12 days and our conversation was pleasantly reassuring. As I suspected when my rational mind was in control (which isn’t often of late) she had been in the countryside with her mother without access to the internet. And then she had to participate in the annual kimchee making rituals. And now she is sick. I gave her a verbal back rub and we promised to do a better job of staying in touch until I can physically touch her again. Which I hope won’t be too much longer in coming.
Anyway, I’ll rest easier tonight. Carrying the burden of having married in contravention canon 1108 must have been weighing heavier on my soul than I imagined.
I’ve got another iron in the fire in my quest to secure employment in the ROK. Submitted an application and a boat load of other documentation for a gig as an Admin Test Monitor. Trust me, it’s not as exciting as it sounds. As I understand it, my duties would essentially consist of logging people in and out of the examination room. I don’t have a clear understanding about what the tests actually are for exactly, I’m assuming it’s related to military personnel qualifying for promotion.
This particular job is part time, three eight hour days per week. The pay is pretty embarrassing, $15. or less per hour. There are no benefits, I even have to provide my own transportation to Korea. On the plus side, it does afford Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA) status, so I could access the commissary, PX and other on post amenities.
I’d be working for a guy I’ve known for years. He also intends to promote me to a full-time Test Administrator position he expects will become available in January. I don’t think it pays much better though. Anyway, he wants to hire me (I did a pseudo-interview via Skype the other night) but there are three hoops to be jumped through prior to that happening.
The first of those was running a ration control check which has now been completed. I was a little surprised and embarrassed to learn I had four violations on record. While I was working as an Army civilian I was entitled to spend up to $550. per month in the commissary. There were three instances where I exceeded that amount by less than $100. To the best of my recollection those occurred on occasions when I did team building events for my staff. As a GS-15 I probably had authority to do that, although I never did the supporting paperwork required for approval. The last violation was about $400 over the limit. No excuse for that. It was my last month in Korea before retiring and it was Christmas, so I went a little wild with a steak-filled parties for friends and co-workers. Anyway, my future boss doesn’t think it will be a problem. He sent me a counseling memo reminding me of my obligation to abide by purchasing limits and I expressed my remorse for past transgressions and assured him there would be no future incidents of this nature.
I also have to have a record check through the Provost Marshal’s office. There should be no issues there as my only “crimes” during my six years of working in Korea were a speeding ticket and a parking violation, both paid in full prior to my departure.
Oh, the boss also needs to check to see if my “secret” clearance is still active. That’s not a deal breaker, it would just mean doing a bunch of paperwork and having to wait for an approval prior to actually starting to work. Keeping my fingers crossed on that because it is a royal pain in the ass to complete that process.
The one hurdle (or should I say hoop to avoid mixing metaphors) he’s concerned about is whether I’ll be considered an “ordinary resident” of the USA, a requirement for SOFA status and employment with his company. The issue is the six months I spent in Korea as a tourist earlier this year. I’ve submitted utility bills, tax records, mortgage records and the like to hopefully satisfy the SOFA compliance officer that my permanent residence has been and remains in South Carolina.
Anyway, I expect to learn my fate sometime next week. I’m obviously hoping for a favorable resolution because for the life of me, I can’t seem to come up with a Plan “B”. Well, I guess what I would have to do is return to Korea again as a tourist. I’m frankly worried about my wife. Or more precisely, whether I still have one. It’s been nine days now since I last heard from her. No calls, no texts, not even a friggin”‘ “like” on my Facebook posts. The good angel on my shoulder keeps telling me she is in the “countryside” caring for her mother without internet access. What the devil on my other shoulder is saying keeps me awake into the wee hours of the morning. Regardless, I’m feeling abandoned and I’m depressed.
Thirty-nine years ago this month I married my first wife. Six years and two children later that union ended in divorce. There is no animosity between us and we occasionally interact at family gatherings. Still, I was somewhat taken aback when I received a letter from the Catholic Diocese in Charleston in yesterday’s mail. That correspondence informs that the ex “has petitioned to this Tribunal declaring that her marriage to you should not be recognized by the Catholic Church…” In other words, she wants an annulment.
The letter includes a two-page questionnaire that I have been requested to complete. The questions are all pretty straightforward, basically seeking confirmation that I am not a Catholic and that we were not married in the Catholic church. The last question asks me to explain in my own words why the marriage failed. I’m tempted to channel Hillary Clinton and respond “at this point, what difference does it make?” but what’s the fun in that?
My ex was 17 when I knocked her up. I was 19. I’m not sure now why we didn’t go the abortion route. It was either her Catholicism or maybe she was too far along in the pregnancy when she realized she was with child. Anyway, we mutually decided to have the baby and give it up for adoption. So we moved in together and made the best of those few months, despite being dirt poor. The county adoption bureau paid for the medical care and the government provided food stamps, and we otherwise got by on my meager minimum wage salary.
On September 7, 1975 my daughter was born. On the day the adoption was to take place I was working thirty miles away in Pasadena, CA. And that morning something happened inside of me that I cannot explain, but I somehow knew letting go of my little girl was the wrong thing to do. So, I left work and barreled down the freeway arriving in the hospital room at the exact moment the adoption person was handing the ex the papers to sign giving away our child. I shouted “stop, wait, I want to talk to her about this”. And so I proposed that we get married and keep the baby. She agreed.
It was not a popular decision with her parents (the father threatened to have me arrested for statutory rape). We certainly were not prepared to raise a child (Renee’s first night at home she slept in a dresser drawer as we had no crib). But it was absolutely the right decision. I cannot fathom what my life would have been like if I had abandoned my sweet baby girl.
Two years later my son was born and shortly thereafter we moved to Prescott, AZ to raise our family in a more child friendly environment. I was working as a letter carrier for the Postal Service and the ex was a waitress at a one of Prescott’s finest dining establishments. We bought a small house. We had our struggles, but I recall those years as mostly happy.
So, what happened? I’m sure the ex might have a different perspective, but in looking back I see it as it all just being too much for a young mother to bear. The ex started running with the restaurant crowd and coming home after work at 3 or 4 in the morning. And I think at some point she decided that life in the fast lane was more fun than being stuck at home with the kids. And to be fair, I was feeling neglected and wound up having an affair. So we divorced and she gave me custody of the kids. I subsequently took a job in Arkansas and my mother helped me raise the children. And that’s pretty much where our story ended.
So, if the Catholic church wants to pretend the marriage never happened, I’m okay with that. History is what it is, and I have two fantastic kids (and three wonderful grandchildren) to show from our non-sanctioned union. That is something that can never be annulled.
My right to vote that is. Of course, almost everyone on the ballot is a scoundrel so I was resigned to selecting the lesser of two weevils. In some cases that required me to resort to a write-in candidate. I picked myself. I reckon I couldn’t muck things up any worse than they already are.
In other news, I spent the morning engaging in some domestic bliss. Mopped the floors, vacuumed, cleaned toilets, did the laundry. My motivation for this activity is an impending visit from a former co-worker. Tomorrow I’ll actually cook. Pulled pork BBQ, cole slaw, corn-on-the-cob, and a banana pudding for dessert.
Nice chat with Jee Yeun this morning helped improve my mood. She’s got enough on her plate without listening to my whinging so I’ve resolved to keep the conversations on a more positive note. It was a little sad to box up some clothes to mail her, but she’s my jagiya so I’m going to tend to her needs as best as I can from a distance.
Spent the weekend in Myrtle Beach, SC participating in the annual Ghost on the Coast dart tournament. I was pretty disappointed with the way I played. Several times I’d be sailing along with the game seemingly in hand, and then I’d inexplicably implode, throw a few bad darts, and snatch defeat from arms of victory. At these big tourneys I don’t expect to beat the big shots, but it is exceedingly frustrating to lose to guys I know I could beat with just a little more consistency. Ah well, that’s how it goes sometimes.
Me and my partner for the weekend. Joel threw well so I can’t help but feel like my sloppy play let him down.
Over 400 darters in attendance made for a crowded dart hall and LONG waits between matches…
Reconnecting with my old pal Duke was one of the few highlights of the weekend. Duke is the guy who first introduced me to the sport of darts in Korea back in 2005.
Checked into my tenth floor room Friday afternoon and enjoyed this view of the East Sea from my balcony.
Saturday turned cold and wet and without my yobo around to remind me to bring a jacket it was a chilling experience.
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
My sour mood followed me to the coast. Last year Jee Yeun was with me and I keenly felt her absence all weekend. I had several darters come up and ask me about her. Truth is, she is much more popular than I am. Certainly friendlier. We talked Thursday night at length, and the bottom line is it looks like she won’t be coming to the States anytime soon. Her mom is not feeling any better, her father’s Alzheimer’s has gotten worse, and the apartment hasn’t sold. In such situations, learn about DigiDrs here and contact expert doctors to give your proper guidelines. She said her mother is stressing out so she wants to move to the countryside to take care of her. Selfish bastard that I am, I told her I needed her to be with me. It became quite apparent that if I forced her to choose between mom and me I was going to lose her.
After a sleepless night I called her again and she assured me that her love for me was undiminished, but she was the only one in the family available and capable of caring for her mother. So that’s her priority. I do understand that. But I don’t have to like it. What I can do I suppose is return to Korea. I’d prefer to go back with a job offer in hand, but I’m not sure how long I can hold out waiting for that to happen. I did a little networking with my buddy Duke and he promised to send my resume to one of the contractors his company manages in Korea. The job we discussed doesn’t pay much, but it does provide SOFA status and would put me back on Yongsan. So if an offer comes through I’d be inclined to take it.
The hotel I stayed in allegedly had WiFi, but damned if I could get it to work. That was a pain in the ass. So I missed the email from the folks who manage my Chase credit card advising me of possible fraudulent use of my account. I did get a cryptic text message from Chase asking me if I had ordered $543. worth of men’s clothing online. These days I wear blue jeans and sneakers pretty much exclusively, so obviously I had made no such purchase. I got on the phone with the fraud department and learned that there had also been charges for over $700. in computer equipment. Fortunately, I won’t be responsible for the unauthorized purchases. There is still a pain in the ass factor in that my account has to be closed and a new card issued. I didn’t want to leave Jee Yeun hanging in Korea with no resources so they agreed to allow small transactions there until I can mail her the new card. I asked how someone could have gotten access to my account and they didn’t really want to answer directly, instead alluding to the possibility that some merchant I had used had been hacked. Damn these first world problems anyway.
And that’s where things pretty much stand in my so called life. The world is turning. I hope it don’t turn away…
I’m not shaving (or smiling) much these days it seems…
Just over a month into this American life and I’ve got say there is nothing much blog worthy to report other than “it sucks”. Don’t believe me? Let me share with you the events of this day in the life.
It began with an early (or late if you will) morning of television (Shameless) and a marathon round of Civilization that kept me plopped down in front of the computer until shortly after 3:00 a.m. With my eyes burning and blurry I finally made my way to bed.
My sleep was more restless than usual and I awoke at 5:30 feeling cold. Since my bed was devoid of a warm body to cuddle with, I fumbled in the dark for the switch to turn on my Korean-style heating pad. Nothing like a warmth coming from below and soon enough I was back in slumber-land.
I opened my eyes again around 9:30 but basked in the glow of my hot bed (during the night I had kicked off the sheet and comforter, reckon I ought to dial it down a notch or two). Hunger pangs finally drove me from my crib a little after ten. Feeling unusually motivated, I baked up a batch of blueberry muffins rather than more normal fare of cereal and milk. While the muffins were baking I rolled the trash receptacle to the curb.
The muffins came out warm and tasty and with my hunger satiated I commenced to do the laundry. Two loads, whites and darks. Even laundered the bedding. My policy (recent though it may be–I had a maid in Korea and more recently a now absent wife) is to wash the sheets once a month whether they need it or not. They probably did as I tend to frequent night sweats.
With the LG appliances humming about their business, I ventured out into the internets to catch up on world events. Nothing had improved since I’d last checked. I did leave a longish comment to this post on the Big Hominid’s blog concerning the high price of fuel. Nothing all that insightful on my part, but certainly of more substance than the crap I post here at LTG. And while you are over at Kevin’s blog make sure you read his outstanding post on the afterlife. Death looms ever larger in my thoughts these days, but like Kevin I have my doubts about going to a better place (or anyplace for that matter) when my body finally succumbs to the daily abuse to which I subject it. Heh, just thought of that old Blood, Sweat and Tears song “And when I die“.
I then proceeded to make my moves in Words with Friends, a Scrabble like game I play online. I have multiple matches going with my brother and an old friend from Korea who now resides in Canada.
After I folded and put away the laundry I made up the bed with that fresh linen. Feeling a sense of accomplishment, I sat back down in front of the computer and fired up a new round of Civilization. A couple of hours later I heard rain pounding on the roof, so I opened the front door and watched that for awhile.
I got hungry again so I made myself a ham and cheese sandwich. Then I checked the mail (just a water bill) and rolled the trash can back to the house.
I had a dart league captain’s meeting to attend tonight so I jumped in the shower, got dressed, and drove into downtown Columbia to a pub called Publick House. On the way I stopped at Walgreen’s and bought a carton of smokes and three twelve-packs of Diet Coke. Whatever gets you through the day, right?
I had nothing much to say at the meeting, mostly because I don’t care all that much about the pub league. Things moved on during my lengthy absence and I’m kinda the outsider now, or at least it feels that way. That, and I’m in a generally foul mood lately. Not mad or upset with anyone in particular, just don’t give a shit about a league I helped found. Or much of anything else really. I think people took my silence as being more than it is though. I’m not all that friendly on my best days, and I haven’t had a “best” day since I got back in country.
After the meeting we played some darts. I didn’t throw all that well and my partner played worse, so it was two and done for us. Paid my tab, tipped the waitress, and drove on home.
Sent the wife a message telling her I need her to come home to me. She responded that she is getting really frustrated with the landlord and is ready to say fuck it (I’m paraphrasing) and leave. I don’t really understand why she can’t move out before the apartment sells, I guess it may have something to do with getting her rather substantial key money back (somewhere in the neighborhood of $150,000). Anyway, she’s going to give it a few more days and then make arrangements to return to the USA. Her caveat is that if and when the apartment sells, she’ll need to return to Korea. My attitude is we’ll see what happens when and if that time comes.
I finished the day by writing this depressing and meaningless post. Which I guess is an apt description of my American life.
And now you know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.
Not much posting going on here at LTG of late, but the fact of the matter is there just isn’t much happening in my life worthy of note. Of course, that’s never stopped me from writing about nothing before. Truth is, I’m in a bit of a funk. It goes beyond mere boredom. I was often bored in Korea as well, but at least I wasn’t so damn lonely. Yes, I miss my wife.
I’m one of those types who just doesn’t seem to fare well on his own. I tend to sink into an abyss of unmotivated laziness. Jee Yeun would shame me out of my worst behaviors, like sitting around in my underwear all day smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo. Well, the television is better quality that the Statler Brothers enjoyed but you get my meaning. I’ve also been playing Civilization marathons which fills the hours but leaves me feeling unsatisfied and a little depressed. I’m just wasting time, however comfortably and well. And at my age, the last thing I should be doing is wasting whatever time I might have left. I reckon I ought to put a boot up my ass and break out of this cycle of despair. Just not sure where to start and I’m feeling trapped. Fuck it. I’ll think of something.
If it weren’t for darts I might not ever leave the house. I’ve taken road trips to play in Charlotte and Aiken, and tomorrow I’m going to head up to Greenville for the afternoon to shoot in a regional qualifier. I’ve been a little disappointed with the degradation of the dart scene here in Columbia. Some personality conflicts have created a situation where darts are no longer played at my favorite pub. I did my best to mend those fences but to no avail. So I’m breaking out on my own and starting a new tournament that I’m calling #TDT (throw darts Thursday). Not sure I can bring people back but I’ll give it a shot.
And that’s about it. I haven’t heard from Jee Yeun for a few days. I’m guessing they don’t have internet in the countryside or something. Last time we talked (messaged) she said she’d be coming home to me as soon as she can get moved out of her apartment. I’m hoping that means sometime this month.
* Not to be confused with choking the chicken or spanking the monkey.
After yesterday’s birthday ruminations, I decided to get off my ass and assert some control over my life. Ah, but where to start? Changing who I am at this late stage of my life is likely a bridge too far, but I’ll be damned if I can’t change the way I look!
Shaved off the Walrus-stache and got me a Korean haircut. So here you have the “new” old me. Hey, baby steps, right?
And what can make you feel younger than celebrating your birthday with old friends. And by old I mean older than me.
Corine and Dennis joined us for a night on the town. We go all the way back to the Postal Service days together. I hired them both in Korea. Corine retired last year and Dennis is hanging it up in January. I was quick to let them know that I was the only one present still in his 50s. Excluding that young whippersnapper Jee Yeun who has not left the glorious 40s yet. She will next year though…
After some warmup drinks at Shenanigans (where the bartender kindly gave us a free shot in honor of my birthday) we headed out to one of my old favorite restaurants, Don Valley.
I had a steaming hot bowl of bulgogi. It’s the best bulgogi I’ve found anywhere. I’m not much of a rice eater, but dumping my bowl of rice into that sweet juice is heavenly. We also partook in some samgyapsal and dwaegi galbi. Yum! And oh yeah, the waitress gave me a free beer for my birthday!
After dinner we retired to my longstanding bar home, Dolce Vita. It was pool league night so the place was hopping. And all the young women were saying how handsome and young I looked with my dashing haircut and clean-shaven face. Well, they didn’t actually say that, but I’m pretty sure they were thinking it.
And for the record, when I say “all the young women” I mean this one in particular…
White line fever, a sickness born Down deep within my soul White line fever, the years keep flyin’ by Like the highline poles
The wrinkles in my forehead Show the miles I’ve put behind me They continue to remind how fast I’m growin’ old Guess I’ll die with this fever in my soul –Merle Haggard
Today marks the anniversary of the commencement of my first journey around the sun of which I have now completed 59 circuits. Man am I tired!
I’ve gotten older but I can’t say I’m all that much wiser. No great insights as I enter the last year of my fifties. Truth is, I’m feeling a little melancholy. It’s not just that with each passing year mortality looms ever larger, it’s more that what once were limitless possibilities and opportunities have been reduced to an uncomfortable understanding that this is what I’ve become and it is all that I will ever be. It has been said that a dreamer lives forever, but I’ll be damned if I can think of a dream that fits me now. Well, other than dreaming of my lost youth which is a fool’s game for sure.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not feeling sorry for myself. Life has bestowed upon me many blessings, including a wife who loves me against all reason. I have healthy children and grandchildren. I’m living comfortably on a generous pension (thanks Uncle Sam!). And despite living a decidedly unhealthy lifestyle I’m in generally good health. Well, the aches and pains that come with age are a constant companion these days, but I’m still climbing the stairs up to the bars on dart nights (and stumbling back down). I see folks all around me who can’t do the things I still do and enjoy, so yeah, I’ve been lucky. And if that’s all there is, by god, I’m gonna keep on doing it for as long as I can.
Perhaps what makes me feel my age the most is that I’m pretty much the oldest guy I know. Meaning almost all the people I spend time with are young enough to be my kids. Or younger. Of course, in my mind (especially after a few beers) I still think I’m thirty. I fear that when I act that way I must be perceived as the stereotypical “creepy old guy” hanging out with the young crowd. But what are you gonna do? I’ve never wanted to live a vanilla life and I’m not about to go “gentle into that dark goodnight“.
I wonder just what makes a man keep pushing on What makes me keep on hummin’ this old highway song I’ve been from coast to coast a hundred times before I ain’t found one single place where I ain’t been before
White line fever, a sickness born Down deep within my soul White line fever, the years keep flyin’ by Like the highline poles
Anyway, happy birthday to me. I have no idea where the road of life will take me next, but I sure as hell ain’t looking for an exit!
Jee Yeun asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I didn’t have the heart to tell her “to be 30”.
I always preferred Graham Parsons and the Flying Burrito Brothers version of the song:
…and it feels like it’s raining all over the world.
Up bright wet and early this morning for a follow-up visit with Dr. Yoo at Soonchanhwang Hospital in lovely Hannam-dong. I guess the good news is the Lipitor has brought my cholesterol down some. He gave me the speech about making some lifestyle changes while I still can. He ended the appointment by saying he could recommend “10 things that would improve my body shape”, but he was only going ask me to agree to do one–no eating after 8:00 p.m. I of course agreed to give it a try.
Now, by my reckoning most folks go to bed around 10. I’m usually up until 1 or 2 in the morning. So what I think the good doctor meant was stop eating two hours before going to bed. That’s more doable at least.
Or maybe not, but I’m paying the rent around here so I’ll post what I want!
I guess all I really wanted to say is I had an outstanding day of darts yesterday. Played two Seoul Sunday Singles League matches and took them both. In the first match I played Sungbae Choi, the top rated player in the league, and came away with a 12-7 victory. It took my best darts to beat him and I had them–including two 9-marks (3 darts in a triple score in one throw–that’s as good as it gets in darts). I won the second match 14-5, but in less impressive fashion as I had been drinking throwing for several hours by that point and I was drunk tired.
Have I turned a corner? Well, I have my confidence back at least. Hard experience has taught me that the only consistent part of my game is my inconsistency. So I won’t let one good day go to my head. Other than this post.
This marks the 2000th time I sat down at the keyboard to share my meaningless drivel unique insights and perspectives here at LTG. I was hoping for something substantial to write about as I reached this particular milestone in my blogging career. But if it hasn’t happened it 2000 tries, what’s the point in waiting?
Speaking of milestones, or perhaps more aptly bumps in the road, it occurs to me that I’ve never actually paid much attention to the numbers before. In fact, I wouldn’t have seen the big two zero zero zero coming but for a feature on the dashboard of my updated/upgraded WordPress interface showing, you guessed it, the number of posts I’ve posted. This feature also allows me to go back in time with relative ease to see and share with you those fascinating snapshots in blogging history I failed to acknowledge (perhaps with good reason) along the way.
My 100th post was entitled simply “Another day”. Back in those early days I was all hellbent on posting something everyday, regardless of whether I had anything of meaning or value to share. Now you may be asking yourself at this very moment “what’s changed?”, to which I can only reply “shut up!”. To save you the agony of reading that particular entry in the annals of LTG I will summarize thusly: It was mere days prior to my initial departure for Korea and I had much to do. So we went to breakfast at Bob Evans. Then it started snowing. So we went home, I lit a fire, and we watched movies the rest of the day. Yep, it was a bonfire of inanity. So to speak.
The 500th post occurred back in those heady days when I had a much more robust readership (thank you to those who have stuck with me against all reason). In Whistlin’ Dixie I weighed in on the controversy surrounding the Dixie Chicks attack on the President in front of a foreign audience. Reading it again now I can see the rightness of my position remains unchanged. But I suspect the folks who commented saying it was more than appropriate to criticize Bush would be calling me racist for offering the same criticisms of our current President. What goes around comes around I suppose.
As I reached my 1000th post I was thinking about Things I don’t miss in the USA. In this particular case it was the growing nanny-statism that I much despise. It’s only gotten worse I’m sorry to say. The specific issue that set me to blogging was a NYC homeless shelter throwing away a church donation of fried chicken because they weren’t allowed to serve food cooked in trans-fats. I hope they let them eat cake!
By the time I achieved 1500 posts I had pretty much given up on writing about politics. It was much more fun easier to talk about the simple joys of my Korean life. Like Dining at Daepohang for instance. And hell, instead of writing 1000 words, I just posted pictures. Did I get tired or just get lazy? Yes!
And there you have it–my tribute to 2000 posts. Don’t worry, there’s plenty more where this came from! Or maybe you should worry.
Dr. Yoo had referred me to an ophthalmologist based on some abnormality from one of the tests I took during my physical last month. So, it was back to Soonchanhwang hospital yesterday afternoon. The whole thing was a bit of a fiasco. We waited a while past our appointment time, and then they started running me through all the eye-checking stations–exactly the same tests I had already done. Jee Yeun, bless her heart, started raising hell. But she really got their attention when she said “I’m not paying for any of these tests we’ve already taken”. Soon enough, I was taken out of the testing queue and placed into the queue to see Dr. Kim (I actually never got her name, but I figure I’ve got at least a 50% chance of being right by calling her Kim. She was assisted by Dr. Lee. I’m sure of it.).
I’m pretty certain there had been some miscommunication somewhere along the way, because Dr. Kim did not seem to have a clue as to why I was there. She looked at my glasses and asked if I could see ok–yes. She asked if I were having any issues with my eyes or vision–no. She noted that I don’t have diabetes and that my blood pressure is only moderately high–check. She then had me look into some binocular-like machine, thoroughly examined each eye with that flashlight-like contraption, and then announced her diagnosis: “you have Caucasian eyes”. Which I understood to mean that any abnormality on my tests were only abnormal for Asian eyes. Bottom line, I’m not having problems with my vision and Dr. Kim didn’t see anything wrong either so it’s all good.
We were both starving after finally leaving the hospital so we hoofed it up the hill to Itaewon and had a late lunch at Don Valley (bimbibop and bulgogi). After our meal we were in that twilight zone–too early for darts, too late to go home and back. So we found a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop and sat outside drinking expensively good coffee and watched the people walk by for an hour or so.
Walrus at rest…
When the appointed hour for darts did arrive I was out to seek redemption for the 15-2 shellacking I had taken the previous week. I won the night 13-9 and threw much, much better so I’ll call that mission accomplished.
At the bus stop for the journey home I saw this ad:
Damn, it was almost like looking in a mirror. Glad to know my doppelganger is doing so well!
Which is a little surprising given that I’m generally left-handed. Although I throw with my right arm*. Which tends to confuse people when I play darts, because I toss with my right hand and write the score with my left. I’m also left eye dominant.
Anyway, I took this test and to the extent that it is accurate I use both hemispheres of my brain equally. Equally poorly as the case might be.
*I’ve always attributed the right hand throwing thing as a result of getting hand-me-down baseball gloves from my older brother. Who knows? When I use my left arm now I throw like a girl. Which is a sexist stereotype. I blame it on my brain.
I’ve caught the dreaded springtime cold. Nothing to be done but suffer through and treat the symptoms as best I can. Last night before I went to bed Jee Yeun had me take one of these:
I assume it’s something along the lines of a Contac capsule. It may or may not be related to the medication but I had a very strange dream that featured the Jethro Tull classic rock anthem “Aqualung”. The gist of the dream was that I had become Aqualung. If you are familiar with the song you know how disconcerting that would be. The lyrics begin with:
Sitting on a park bench eying little girls with bad intent Snot was running down his nose, greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes. Hey Aqualung.
I’ll cop to admiring beautiful young women now and again, and yes, I did encounter some runny nose issues yesterday (which is doubly problematic given my Walrus-stache). But I don’t recall any greasy fingers and my shorts and T-shirt, while casual, were not by any means “shabby”.
Anyway, I’d wake up (or dream I had awoken), think to myself that was weird, go back to sleep only to be confronted by the disembodied voice intoning “you are Aqualung”. That happened a few times and then the dream said “you should blog about this”. WTF? Two times now I’ve dreamed dreams that specifically insisted they be blogged.
When I woke up for real this meaning I said to myself there ain’t no way I’m blogging about Aqualung. Who’s in control here anyway? Me or my subconscious?
Back in high school I worked part time at a local pizza joint. But it’s been a long time since I’ve actually created a pizza. Last night I made two.
As is typical for my Friday night I played in the Dolce Vita dart tournament. Somewhat less typically I was knocked out in the third round. Normally, I leave shortly after I’m done playing but last night in the absence of the bar owner I was running the tourney. Which gave me some additional time to sit and drink beer. And then the bar owner’s wife brought over some shots as her way of saying thanks for doing the tournament. When it was all over someone (probably me) had the bright idea of inviting a largish group out to the samgyapsal joint we favor. Where we drank more beer and soju.
Now, normally I know when to say when. For some reason last night I didn’t realize the dangerous level of my inebriation until it was too damn late. As the room began to spin I quickly exited the restaurant and created an Itaewon street pizza. Jee Yeun then came to my rescue and hustled me into a cab. After a dizzying ride to Gireum-dong with my head practically out the window we made it back to our apartment building . And while waiting for the elevator to arrive my stomach did a somersault so I ran outside and made a Gireum version of the infamous street pizza.
Today I feel like shit. There’s a lesson here and I hope I’ve learned it.
How long until they will have to change the name I wonder…
Well, in my case at least it is pretty much what I predicated yesterday. A prescription for an atorvastatin, daily aspirin, low carb/low fat diet, more exercise, yada yada. I’m actually down with everything except the low fat part. If I’m not doing carbs I’m doing the meat by god!
Other than the cardiovascular disease the news was pretty good. My borderline diabetes blood marker is now back in the normal range. Blood pressure is also good. Those benefits derive from the LCHF diet with some daily exercise lifestyle I adopted last year. I was happy that the doctor skipped right on past the chest x-ray and made no mention of any other indicators of cancer. Guess I’ve managed to dodge that bullet so far. Can’t do a damn thing about getting older though, so I reckon I’ll just keep on aging and see what happens next.
