Category Archives: Life in these United States

Losing it

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drama

Regular readers know I’m all about avoiding the drama that seems to inevitably follow the dart scene.  While I was in Korea there was a falling out with the owner of the venue that hosted our singles league here in Columbia.  I wrote about that here.  So the upshot of that unpleasantness is the league moved to another bar.

I played a match last week at the old bar.  When I turned in the score sheet the guy running the league was not happy.  He told me if I played at any other bar again he wouldn’t count my score.  I pointed out that nothing in the rules dictated where matches had to be played.  He said this bar is hosting the league.  I said are they paying the league money for us to be here?  No, so why does it matter where I play?  And then he told me he wasn’t going to discuss it further.

Later, on the league Facebook page he wrote that since “CWs was kind enough to give us a place to play”, all matches had to be played there.  This was my response:

It is “kind” indeed that CW’s has so graciously allowed us to come and spend our money at their bar and play darts in their otherwise unused back room. And while I’m sure we owe them a debt of gratitude for that act of generosity, it does seem to me an equal amount of loyalty is owed to the players in the league. Since CW’s is not financially supporting the league, I don’t understand why if a player finds it more convenient or desirable to play at a different venue and his opponent agrees, why you or anyone else would have an issue with that. Prior to the start of the season I asked ” I assume I can play my matches at another venue by mutual agreement with my opponent, correct?” and you responded “yeah”.(see post on September 30). So the only misunderstanding or confusion I’m seeing is how the “rules” were changed mid-stream. Did I miss a vote or something? Regardless, I believe that playing the matches is what we are about, not where we play the matches. I’ll abide by the dictates of the league leadership if I must, but if I’m ever disrespected again for asking a question I’m gone. Or you can fire me now. Your choice.

He responded by berating me for taking our dispute public.  And the kicker was he said if I had an issue I should have talked to him about it off-line.  Which is precisely what he refused to do when I attempted it.

Well, I founded the league but I don’t pretend to own it.  When I was running things folks were free to play wherever they wanted.  I’m not running things now and apparently the new dictator is going to do it his way.  I considered taking the highway but without darts I basically have no life.  So I’ll just have to suck it up, even if doing so, well, sucks.

And that Facebook comment and this post represent the total extent of my caring.  Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

Off the Rails

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Last night I played the Friday darts tourney at a new (to me) bar called Off the Rail.  The owner’s name is Jim, but that’s where any similarity with Dolce Vita Pub begins and ends.  The bar sits across the railroad tracks from the Sandhills shopping center.  You might say it sits on the wrong side of the tracks as it’s a bit of a dive.  The clientele last night consisted of a handful of darters, some bikers, and various other working class types.  Nothing wrong with that of course, and we all got along.

The bar is within spitting distance of the tracks and as I was preparing to make a dart throw a passing freight train blew it’s horn at a road crossing.  I nearly jumped out of my shoes but managed to hold on to the dart and recompose myself.  This is certainly not the place to play if you are easily distracted.

The match itself went alright I suppose.  I got teamed up with owner Jim and we made it to the finals.  He claims to have thrown before and truth be told he wasn’t a bad shot.  But he had no real concept on how to play the game.  For example, when we were playing single in/double out 501 Jim would ask before EVERY throw “what do you want me to do here”.  Now, this is a basic game–you start at 501 and subtract the score of your three dart throw until you get to zero (you have to finish on a double; for example, if you have 32 left you’d throw a double 16).  There is no real strategy at the beginning of the game other than to get the highest score you can on your darts (the best possible throw is 180–three triple 20s).  I admit I’m not the most patient person you’re likely to meet, but it was pretty frustrating to continuously repeat throughout the night “just throw your darts at the 20 and subtract whatever you hit”.

Actually, I don’t mind helping inexperienced players improve their game.  My problem with Jim was he kept disappearing on me.  It would be his turn to throw and we’d have to drag him away from the bar where he was chatting up customers.  He didn’t seem to have any real interest in the match we were playing and he had zero appreciation for how rude it is to keep people waiting during a game.  I was so disgusted that by the time we made it to the finals I suggested to the other team that we just call it a tie and split 1st and 2nd place money 50-50.  They agreed I think because they could see I was in agony.

As I was fixing to leave I noticed a van had parked in such a way as to block my car access to the only exit I was aware of.  Rather than try and track down the errant van driver I went looking for another path of egress.  First I walked along the tracks behind Off the Rail only to encounter a dead end.  So then I walked a bit in the other direction and found a driveway alongside another business.  It took some maneuvering but I managed to make it out of the parking lot and safely home.

So that was my Off the Rails experience last night.  Sad to say it was one of the better nights I’ve had recently.  C’est la vie.

 

I read the news today, oh boy…

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I'm not shaving (or smiling) much these days it seems...

I’m not shaving (or smiling) much these days it seems…

Just over a month into this American life and I’ve got say there is nothing much blog worthy to report other than “it sucks”.  Don’t believe me?  Let me share with you the events of this day in the life.

It began with an early (or late if you will) morning of television (Shameless) and a marathon round of Civilization that kept me plopped down in front of the computer until shortly after 3:00 a.m.  With my eyes burning and blurry I finally made my way to bed.

My sleep was more restless than usual and I awoke at 5:30 feeling cold.  Since my bed was devoid of a warm body to cuddle with, I fumbled in the dark for the switch to turn on my Korean-style heating pad.  Nothing like a warmth coming from below and soon enough I was back in slumber-land.

I opened my eyes again around 9:30 but basked in the glow of my hot bed (during the night I had kicked off the sheet and comforter, reckon I ought to dial it down a notch or two).  Hunger pangs finally drove me from my crib a little after ten.  Feeling unusually motivated, I baked up a batch of blueberry muffins rather than more normal fare of cereal and milk.  While the muffins were baking I rolled the trash receptacle to the curb.

The muffins came out warm and tasty and with my hunger satiated I commenced to do the laundry.  Two loads, whites and darks.  Even laundered the bedding.  My policy (recent though it may be–I had a maid in Korea and more recently a now absent wife) is to wash the sheets once a month whether they need it or not.  They probably did as I tend to frequent night sweats.

With the LG appliances humming about their business, I ventured out into the internets to catch up on world events.  Nothing had improved since I’d last checked.  I did leave a longish comment to this post on the Big Hominid’s blog concerning the high price of fuel.  Nothing all that insightful on my part, but certainly of more substance than the crap I post here at LTG.  And while you are over at Kevin’s blog make sure you read his outstanding post on the afterlife.  Death looms ever larger in my thoughts these days, but like Kevin I have my doubts about going to a better place (or anyplace for that matter) when my body finally succumbs to the daily abuse to which I subject it.  Heh, just thought of that old Blood, Sweat and Tears song “And when I die“.

I then proceeded to make my moves in Words with Friends, a Scrabble like game I play online.  I have multiple matches going with my brother and an old friend from Korea who now resides in Canada.

After I folded and put away the laundry I made up the bed with that fresh linen.  Feeling a sense of accomplishment, I sat back down in front of the computer and fired up a new round of Civilization.  A couple of hours later I heard rain pounding on the roof, so I opened the front door and watched that for awhile.

I got hungry again so I made myself a ham and cheese sandwich.  Then I checked the mail (just a water bill) and rolled the trash can back to the house.

I had a dart league captain’s meeting to attend tonight so I jumped in the shower, got dressed, and drove into downtown Columbia to a pub called Publick House.  On the way I stopped at Walgreen’s and bought a carton of smokes and three twelve-packs of Diet Coke.  Whatever gets you through the day, right?

I had nothing much to say at the meeting, mostly because I don’t care all that much about the pub league.  Things moved on during my lengthy absence and I’m kinda the outsider now, or at least it feels that way.  That, and I’m in a generally foul mood lately.  Not mad or upset with anyone in particular, just don’t give a shit about a league I helped found.  Or much of anything else really.  I think people took my silence as being more than it is though.  I’m not all that friendly on my best days, and I haven’t had a “best” day since I got back in country.

After the meeting we played some darts.  I didn’t throw all that well and my partner played worse, so it was two and done for us.  Paid my tab, tipped the waitress, and drove on home.

Sent the wife a message telling her I need her to come home to me.  She responded that she is getting really frustrated with the landlord and is ready to say fuck it (I’m paraphrasing) and leave.  I don’t really understand why she can’t move out before the apartment sells, I guess it may have something to do with getting her rather substantial key money back (somewhere in the neighborhood of $150,000).  Anyway, she’s going to give it a few more days and then make arrangements to return to the USA.  Her caveat is that if and when the apartment sells, she’ll need to return to Korea.  My attitude is we’ll see what happens when and if that time comes.

I finished the day by writing this depressing and meaningless post.  Which I guess is an apt description of my American life.

And now you know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.

Nada y nada

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Not much posting going on here at LTG of late, but the fact of the matter is there just isn’t much happening in my life worthy of note.  Of course, that’s never stopped me from writing about nothing before.  Truth is, I’m in a bit of a funk.  It goes beyond mere boredom.  I was often bored in Korea as well, but at least I wasn’t so damn lonely.  Yes, I miss my wife.

I’m one of those types who just doesn’t seem to fare well on his own.  I tend to sink into an abyss of unmotivated laziness.  Jee Yeun would shame me out of my worst behaviors, like sitting around in my underwear all day smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.  Well, the television is better quality that the Statler Brothers enjoyed but you get my meaning.  I’ve also been playing Civilization marathons which fills the hours but leaves me feeling unsatisfied and a little depressed.  I’m just wasting time, however comfortably and well.  And at my age, the last thing I should be doing is wasting whatever time I might have left.  I reckon I ought to put a boot up my ass and break out of this cycle of despair.  Just not sure where to start and I’m feeling trapped.  Fuck it.  I’ll think of something.

If it weren’t for darts I might not ever leave the house.  I’ve taken road trips to play in Charlotte and Aiken, and tomorrow I’m going to head up to Greenville for the afternoon to shoot in a regional qualifier.  I’ve been a little disappointed with the degradation of the dart scene here in Columbia.  Some personality conflicts have created a situation where darts are no longer played at my favorite pub.  I did my best to mend those fences but to no avail.  So I’m breaking out on my own and starting a new tournament that I’m calling #TDT (throw darts Thursday).  Not sure I can bring people back but I’ll give it a shot.

And that’s about it.  I haven’t heard from Jee Yeun for a few days.  I’m guessing they don’t have internet in the countryside or something.  Last time we talked (messaged) she said she’d be coming home to me as soon as she can get moved out of her apartment.  I’m hoping that means sometime this month.

“It’s like I told you, only the lonely can play…”

Dear John

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This week I was notified that I was not selected for the job I applied for.  It is pretty much what I expected, but I was still a little dejected.  Especially because I was so well connected with a friend in the company.  Not sure if it was something I neglected to put in my resume, or perhaps it was something I wrote to which they objected.  But now that I’ve reflected, the resume is pretty much perfected (even the grammar has been corrected) and my experience in the field is well respected.  And while my confidence has not been affected, I have detected certain barriers to my employment may have been erected.  Perhaps it is my age as I’ve previously suspected.  Or maybe that’s just what I’ve projected but I’ve elected not to be infected by self-doubt.  Regardless, my pension checks will still be collected so my finances are pretty much protected.

Ah well.

Don’t leave home without it

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My new driving accessory arrived in today’s mail.

My own personal breathalyzer...

My own personal breathalyzer…

When I opened the back to insert the batteries I got a little surprise that made me laugh out loud (hey, I’m easily entertained):

Who'd a thunk it? Ah well, it goes well with my Samsung TV and LG appliances. Guess next thing on my shopping list will be a Kia...

Who’d a thunk it? Ah well, it goes nicely with my Samsung TV and LG appliances. Guess next thing on my shopping list will be a Kia…

Anyway, I took it for a *ahem* test drive tonight.  Before leaving the house I gave it a blow and registered 0.00 blood alcohol content (BAC).  Since I hadn’t had anything to drink it seemed to be working to perfection.  First stop was a new bar for me called Over the Rails.  It sits right next to the CSX railroad line, hence the name.  The owner wants to install a couple of dart boards so me and a pal dropped in to reconnoiter the joint.  It’s a bit of a dive, but the staff and patrons were friendly enough.  Had two icy cold Mich Ultras and headed to the car to see precisely how drunk I wasn’t.

In accordance with the instructions, I fired up the BACtrack and let it do its 12 second warmup.  At the appointed time I took a deep breath and gave it a hardy 5 second blow.  And it registered a BAC reading of 0.67, perilously close to the legal limit of 0.8.  I was a bit dismayed until I remembered the instructions emphatically stated that you must wait 20 minutes after your last alcoholic beverage to ensure an accurate reading.  I had waited maybe 2 minutes at most.

Seeing as how I was still technically on the legal side of the limit I felt confident enough to drive the two miles to my regular pub, Kwagga.  Played some darts and enjoyed two more beers.  Then I had a diet Coke and waited the specified 20 minutes before passing wind into my breathalyzer.  This time I got a much more satisfactory reading of 0.36.  So, four beers in two and a half hours and I was less than half-drunk.  Which tells me my self-imposed limit of five beers in three hours was pretty much on target (a bucket of five bottles of beer sells for a discounted rate of ten bucks which is why I go that route).  But there’s nothing like the peace of mind and confidence you gain when you don’t have to fear being arrested.

A commenter on my previous post about the BACtrack asked if the product came with a guarantee.  After reading the instruction booklet I can state with certainty that it does not.  In words that only a lawyer could write it made clear (repeatedly) that it is never safe to operate a motor vehicle after consuming any amount of alcohol.  Furthermore, the results of the BACtrack are not admissible in a court of law.  And just in case you missed it, the last page of the booklet contains one line of words in capital letters: DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE.  So I won’t. Much. And certainly not while driving.

In other news, my buddy Duke up in Northern Virginia left a comment on the post where I mentioned I had applied for a job at Yongsan Garrison in Seoul.  Turns out that vacancy is with the company he works for.  The hiring decisions are made a couple of pay grades below him, but he did forward my resume with a recommendation from him to the folks who will make the selection.  I figure that may boost my prospects, although Duke did note that they give first preference to military veterans.  I had no idea at the time I applied that I actually had an inside connection.  And if Duke hadn’t read my blog he wouldn’t have known I was looking for work there.  IF (and that’s a BIG if in bold face letters) I have the good fortune of being selected I would love the fact that after nearly ten years of blogging this damn hobby of mine actually paid off in a tangible way.  We’ll see.

Finally, for those readers who care about my darting “career”, I’m happy to report that I’m off to a hot start back here in America.   In the Tuesday pub league, I won 6 legs (our team totaled 8).  In last night’s Pointless Dart League tournament me and my partner earned a first place finish.  More darts on tap tomorrow in Columbia at the Publick House tourney and then I’ll drive up to Charlotte on Saturday morning to participate in a “fun shoot” at Steamer’s Pub.  Since I haven’t played there before I have to get “rated” prior to the the tourney.  Not sure what that entails but it should be interesting.

So there you have it.  Other than my continued sleep deprivation things are going about as well as might be expected.  We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

 

 

The new normal?

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Six days in and my sleep pattern is still not right*.  Last night I was up late completing an online job application.  Went to bed around 2 a.m. and found myself wide awake at 4.  Back to bed at 6 a.m. and slept until 8.  Took a nap at 2 p.m. and woke up at 4.

If the pattern holds I reckon I’ll get the recommended 8 hours of sleep, except I’m getting it in fragments.  Which is fine I suppose, although during my waking hours I’m feeling lethargic and unmotivated.  Did make it out to the bank to deposit $236 in small checks from my inherited oil lease royalties that had accumulated during my time in Korea.  Thanks mom!

The job I applied for is with a military contractor on Yongsan Garrison that provides career counseling for soldiers and their family members who are leaving the service.  Although I’ve never actually worked as a career counselor my experience as a human resources manager I think qualifies me to teach folks job application and interviewing skills.  Of the jobs I’ve looked at this seems like the best fit.  I’m not optimistic the company will see it that way though.  But nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Tonight I’ll make my darts debut in the Monsters of the Midlands pub league.  That may bleed over into my scheduled two hours of sleep, but I’ll adjust I suppose.

*I really don’t think this sleep disorder is entirely caused by jet lag.  Sleeping alone has also got me out of sorts.  It didn’t rain today so tomorrow I may get out the lawnmower and do some mowing.  Maybe a little physical exertion will convince my body it’s time for a good night’s sleep.

BACtrack

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As most of my reader(s) know I enjoy drinking beer in social settings (although rarely at home).  While I don’t have much of a social life, I do play darts two or three times per week and I’ve found beer to be a useful tool in that endeavor.  In fact, beer is commonly referred to in the sport as “aiming fluid”.

Given the outstanding public transportation system in Korea I never really had to worry about the amount of beer I consumed during a dart match (other than recognizing that after a certain point inebriation will impact on the quality of my game).  Here in the USA there is no getting around driving to the various dart venues, so it is imperative to not drink in excess of the legal limit (currently .08 blood alcohol content in South Carolina) when operating a motor vehicle.  I’m actually very paranoid about driving after drinking.  I never get “drunk-drunk”, but I’m quite certain I could potentially exceed .08 with no outward signs of impairment.

The rule of thumb is to limit yourself to one drink per hour which I find difficult to do.  I’m a big guy and based on the online calculators I’ve looked at, I can probably partake in four beers in an hour without crossing the line.  What I normally do is drink five beers during a three hour dart match, then switch to diet Coke at the end of the evening.  That’s probably a “safe” amount, but other factors come into play (for example, what you have eaten) and the truth of the matter is you can never be certain.  Alcohol impairs judgement, and making the judgement that you are okay to drive after drinking is a fool’s bet.

Being arrested for DUI is an expensive and life altering event.  And that’s really the best case scenario.  God forbid you do something stupid which causes death or injury to yourself or someone else.  I’ve learned that two friends were busted for DUI during the six months I was staying in Korea.  I’ve also been told that DUI checkpoints are frequently set up along the route I travel home after a night of darting.  Despite my intent to be responsible when it comes to drinking and driving, I really fear inadvertently fucking up.

So, this morning I purchased one of these from a company called BACtrack:

My own personal breathalyzer. A bargain at $129.95 considering what a miscalculation would cost me.

My own personal breathalyzer. A bargain at $129.95 considering what a miscalculation would cost me.

Once it arrives it will be interesting to see how accurate my personal rule-of-thumb has been.  But one thing is certain, I will never drive my vehicle anytime I am anywhere near the legal limit.  In fact, my plan is to not get behind the wheel at over .05. That’s the standard the federal government wants the states to impose.  It’s the right thing to do and you can’t put a price tag on the peace of mind that comes with being a responsible driver.

 

 

Livin’ in the USA

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Three days into this iteration of my American life and I’m still not sleeping.  Well, technically I am sleeping, but only in bursts of two or three hours at a time.  Not sure why I’m having such a hard time re-setting my circadian rhythms, but it is getting to be a bit of a pain in the ass.

After a long but uneventful flight on Wednesday I arrived at my South Carolina home at 6:30 p.m.  That concluded about a 22 hour door-to-door trip.  I managed maybe two hours of sleep on the plane so I was exhausted.  I had every intention of staying awake until midnight or so to get my body back on Carolina time, but at 8 p.m. I had to surrender and went to bed.  I awoke at 10:30 p.m. somewhat refreshed and definitely hungry.  So I headed out to the 24 hour supermarket to do some grocery shopping.  Came home and cooked up a rack of ribs and started watching season 4 of Game of Thrones.  Made it through 5 episodes or so, and tried to catch some sleep around 9 a.m.  Woke up at noon, and finished up GOT.  It seems every season concludes with the death of a major character, and I was pretty surprised at who they killed off this go around.  Won’t spoil it for you though if you haven’t seen it.

Fell asleep on my amazingly comfortable leather couch for about 3 hours and woke up hungry.  So I headed out to Rush’s, a local fast food chain, and ordered me up a basket of chicken wings.

Nice-uh!

Nice-uh!

After devouring that tasty chicken I fiddle-farted around on the computer until 2 a.m. or so and tried again to get a full night’s (or morning as it were) sleep.  No dice.  Woke at 3:30 and knew I’d be up for awhile.  So, I started watching VEEP, a mildly amusing political comedy featuring Julia-Louis Dreyfus.   Between episodes I baked up a batch of cinnamon rolls (well, I opened a can and popped them in the oven).  Obviously I haven’t initiated my low carb diet plan yet.  I had good intentions about doing some banking and running some errands, but I found myself growing sleepy shortly after noon, so I hit the sack for the longest period of sleep I’d managed thus far–four hours.

With Friday night looming my body told me it was time for some darts.  So I showered up and headed out to my local pub, Kwagga.  When I left for Korea back in March this was the place to be for dart action in Columbia.  Sadly, due to some personality conflicts the owner found it necessary (wrongly in my opinion) to ban several dart players from the bar.  Several others had moved away during my absence which left only me and one other guy there to play.  In fact, for most of the night we were the only customers in the bar.  I’m afraid that doesn’t bode well for the future of Kwagga, which is a shame really.  Still, the owner welcomed me back with a bucket of Michelob Ultra beer (hey, only 2.6 grams of carbohydrates per bottle!).  Dirk, the South African owner of Kwagga, mentioned he had a new item on the menu.  With his accent it sounded like he was saying “Buddha’s balls”, which didn’t sound too appetizing.  But it turns out it was more like boerwors, a South African sausage which was served on a bun.  Hell, it looked like a hot dog so I slathered it in ketchup.  Dirk was aghast and said “you just ruined it”.  He pointed to the sauce served on the side and said that’s what you are supposed to put on it.  Hell, I thought it was for dipping the chips.  Anyway, I found it quite tasty, ketchup and all.

I played darts until about 10:30 then headed home.  I felt sure that with some American beer and South African sausage in my belly I’d sleep like a baby through the night.  I stayed up until 12:30 just to be sure but alas, I woke up at 4:00 a.m.  With nothing else to do with myself I sat down at the keyboard to treat my faithful readers to this post which I believe perfectly captures the astounding boredom of my so-called life in the USA.

Once the rest of the world wakes up I plan to do a little shopping and maybe treat myself to a 5 Guys burger.

I consider this the best fast food burger in the USA.

I consider this the best fast food burger in the USA.

Later this afternoon the daughter is bringing the grandkids over for a visit.  And I’ll be missing my yobo immensely.  It really sucks being here without her.

So there you have it.  As far as I know everything I’ve written above is true and correct.  But then again, I saw this article in Time magazine that says less than 5 hours sleep leads to false memories.  So who knows?

Just say no

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drama

I have worked diligently and for the most part successfully at avoiding being sucked into the drama that seems to occur with a fair amount of frequency in the Itaewon bar scene.  I’ve witnessed my fair share this trip but have maintained my innocent bystander status.  With just a couple of weeks remaining in this iteration of my Korea life I figured I was home free.

So I was distressed to get a text message from one of the guys in the Columbia dart league telling me he had been banned from our home bar because the owner didn’t like his “attitude”.  I also got a simultaneous email from the bar owner telling me his side of the story*.   I’m not going to get in the middle of this fight either, although it does not bode well for the future of the fledgling dart scene I worked so hard to build in Columbia.  Ah well.

I just wish people could get along, which I guess requires overlooking annoying quirks or the occasional untoward comment.  I’ve noted that alcohol rarely brings out the best aspects of one’s personality, but taking offense at every transgression isn’t worth the hassle.  Shut up and throw darts for god’s sake.

*This isn’t the first time Dirk has 86’d a dart league member.  He’s basically got a zero tolerance for anyone who does not comport to his standards of expected behavior.  It’s his bar and his right to do as he pleases, although I would likely handle things differently.  Regular customers spending money in your bar on a regular basis is kind of important to the bottom line I reckon.

If you build it they will come

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Things are pretty ugly in our nation’s capital.  Via BuzzFeed comes this article chock full of pictures of some of the worst buildings in Washington, D.C.  Well, I guess it’s only fitting that we house our crappy government in appropriately crappy office space.

I actually had the misfortune of working in two of them and had occasion to visit most of the others during my long years of government service.  L’Enfant Plaza housed Postal Service Headquarters.  I technically only worked there for a few months in the summer of 1998 during collective bargaining agreement negotiations with the National Association of Letter Carriers.  Many other days were wasted there for mindless meetings with the HQ brass though.  I also spent five soul-sucking years working within the walls of the Department of Education building.  How bad was it?  I preferred working in Iraq and actively pursued employment there, albeit without success.  I did wind up in Korea though and that was almost like being reborn after all those hellish years in D.C.

Which is why catching the Virginia Railway Express at L'Enfant station for the last time filled me with unbridled joy...

Which is why catching the Virginia Railway Express at L’Enfant station for the last time filled me with unbridled joy…

Lock blockers

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As I mentioned in the previous post, I killed my phone last night.  That was the Galaxy S-2 I inherited from my nephew.  I am loathe to purchase a new smartphone, especially given the fact that I already “own” a perfectly fine Galaxy S-3.  When I first got back to Korea I attempted to have SK telephone install a new sim card in my U.S. phone but was told it could not be done because the dicks folks at AT&T had “locked” the phone in a manner that could not be legally undone.

As our president has demonstrated on numerous occasions, laws are for the little people.  And I am many things but little is not among them.  So I set about trying to unlock my phone on my own.  Found a handy website that offered step-by-step instructions on doing just that and I followed them to the best of my ability.  Alas, the assholes geniuses at AT&T had apparently installed a block to the unlock, because the lock would not open in the manner the website had promised.  I guess it wouldn’t have mattered anyway because after going through the unlocking process twice I discovered that the sim card from the S-2 doesn’t fit in the S-3.

What I find especially irksome is I’m paying AT&T a whopping $143.00 a month for the U.S. service I’m only using six months a year (that’s mine and Jee Yeun’s phone and data plan charges).  I do this for the privilege of keeping my American phone number which I need to maintain for a host of reasons I won’t bother discussing here.  But I’ve been on the AT&T plan for well over a year fulfilling my commitment which means I own the smartphones I bought when I signed up.  Anyway, when I turned my S-3 back on after the unsuccessful unlocking effort, I got a message from AT&T welcoming me to Korea and advising I could set up an international plan by calling (for free!) a number they provided.

I don’t need or want an international plan, but I would like my phone unlocked.  So I called.  And the pleasant AT&T customer service rep advised that requests to unlock have to be submitted through the website.  So that’s where I went and that’s what I did.  And somewhere between two and five days from now I’ll have my answer.  Which better be “yes” or I’m going to make some changes.  To hell with the consequences, I will not be denied!

If you think the kettle is black…

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…maybe you’re racist!

Well, there is much that is not right back in the homeland.  And it seems to be getting worse all the time.  But when you are the leader of hell on earth it’s probably not wise to be casting stones.  Kim Jong-Un, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye!

Requiem for a dream

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I had a dream last night.  And as is the nature of dreams, this one was bizarre and inexplicable.  Details fade with wakefulness, but in this dream it was somehow important that I post 7 images of Los Angeles here on the blog.  As ridiculous as it might seem, I’m doing as my dream instructed.

The dream as far as I recall did not dictate any particular image to post. But me in LA go way back so it wasn't hard to pick some that were meaningful to me. The first time I visited Los Angeles was here at the Kaiser Foundation hospital on the day that I was born...

The dream as far as I recall did not dictate any particular image to post. But me and LA go way back so it wasn’t hard to pick some that were meaningful to me. The first time I visited Los Angeles was here at the Kaiser Foundation hospital on the day that I was born…

Olvera Street is the oldest street in LA. I have memories of visiting here with the parents as a child and years later taking a gal who attended USC I was dating here for authentic Mexican food...

Olvera Street is the oldest street in LA. I have memories of visiting here with the parents as a child and years later taking a gal who attended USC I was dating here for authentic Mexican food…

I was a big baseball fan growing up in southern Cal and of course my favorite team was the Dodgers. My dad took me to my first game for my 10th birthday in 1965. Lots more great times were had over the years in Chavez Ravine...

I was a big baseball fan growing up in southern Cal and of course my favorite team was the Dodgers. My dad took me to my first game for my 10th birthday in 1965. Lots more great times were had over the years in Chavez Ravine…

The LA skyline only looks like this approximately one day a year. Seriously. We the Santa Ana winds blow in from the desert it blows the smog out to sea and you can see the mountains that are otherwise invisible throughout the year.

The LA skyline only looks like this approximately one day a year. Seriously. When the Santa Ana winds blow in from the desert they push the smog out to sea and you can see the mountains that are otherwise invisible throughout the year.

I love old train stations. I've been to Union Station in DC and Denver, 30th Street Station in Philadelphia, and Grand Central in NYC, but none are as fantastic as Union Station in LA. Oddly enough, I never took a train to or from there. But sometimes when I was in the neighborhood I'd just drop in to be amazed.

I love old train stations. I’ve been to Union Station in DC and Denver, 30th Street Station in Philadelphia, and Grand Central in NYC, but none are as fantastic as Union Station in LA. Oddly enough, I never took a train to or from there. But sometimes when I was in the neighborhood I’d just drop in to be amazed.

The Port of Los Angeles. My father was a Merchant Marine and when his ship came in so to speak we'd drive over the Vincent Thomas Bridge and pick him up...

The Port of Los Angeles. My father was a Merchant Marine and when his ship came in so to speak we’d drive over the Vincent Thomas Bridge and pick him up…

What would LA be without Koreatown? Funny thing is when I lived in SoCal I knew nothing of it and cared less. I rectified that a few years ago when I visited and lucked into an outstanding galbi house...

What would LA be without Koreatown? Funny thing is when I lived in SoCal I knew nothing of it and cared less. I rectified that a few years ago when I visited and lucked into an outstanding galbi house…

I started with the first time I was in LA and I'll finish with my last time--LAX. I was making a connection to Seoul after a business trip to Phoenix. The airport sucks.

I started with the first time I was in LA and I’ll finish with my last time–LAX. I was making a connection to Seoul after a business trip to Phoenix. The airport sucks.

So here’s hoping this post has satisfied the whims of Morpheus and that tonight I will enjoy a restful and peaceful sleep.

Thousands of comedians out of work…

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…and she’s trying to be funny!

The daughter-in-law has graciously agreed to periodically bring in the mail (and mow the lawn!*) while I’m on this side of the world.  So today I get a message from her saying an important piece of mail has arrived and asking whether I want her to send it to me via overnight mail.  She helpfully included this photograph:

conservatives

Haha!  I’ve been getting spam mail from the RNC (and everyone they subsequently sold my address to) ever since I sent that $100 check to Mitt Romney.   Bastards.

In other news, I had the good fortune to bring home 1st place money in last night’s dart tournament at Bull Barrel.

B&B 001

Drawing the top ranked player in Itaewon as my partner certainly improved my chances!  I also managed a second place finish at Dolce Vita Friday night so it’s been a profitable weekend.  Well, by profitable I mean I made almost enough to cover my bar tabs.

After darts it was time for some Korean-style dining.  I define Korean-style as eating lots of tasty food and washing it down with copious amounts of beer and soju.

Friends and family gathered around the table in anticipation of...

Friends and family gathered around the table in anticipation of…

...the best dang samgyapsal I've found in Korea

…the best dang samgyapsal I’ve found in Korea

B&B 009

It was a good night!

*She claims to want to mow my lawn.  Says she likes using a mower but my son won’t let her mow HIS lawn.  I’m glad to provide her the opportunity!

Final preparations

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bags 003

Bags are packed.  I had foolishly thought we could go one suitcase each by maximizing our two carry-ons (two overhead bags and two backpacks).  Alas, it could not be done.  I relented and resigned myself to paying $100 for an additional checked bag.  And just now Delta sent me an email to do advance check-in and lo and behold it turns out Jee Yeun and I are allowed TWO checked bags each for free!  This is contrary to what the booking agent told me on the phone, but I ain’t complaining.  So, we consolidated some of our over stuffed carry-on items into a fourth suitcase.  Sweet!  We weighed our large bags and none of them exceed 50 pounds, at least according to my bathroom scale.  Woo Hoo!

I sprang for the extra room seats in coach ($150) for the Detroit-Incheon leg.  Despite rumors to the contrary, three inches DOES make a difference.  And they also have extra recline.  Now, I’m guessing these seats are probably similar to the standard coach seats on Korean Air, but damn, I couldn’t bear the thought of sitting for 12 hours with my knees pressed up against the seat in front of me or having it reclined into my lap.  What good is money anyway if it can’t buy you a little comfort?

My big worry right now is that they are forecasting snow and a “gale” in Detroit tomorrow.  I’ve only got an hour 45 between flights so if my Charlotte flight gets delayed going in I’m likely to be screwed.  Well, nothing to be done about the weather, but I’d sure hate to spend a night in the Detroit airport.

Signed my tax forms today and it will be held pending receipt of the wayward SSN for Jee Yeun.  The good news is I’m actually getting a refund of just over two grand from Uncle Sam.  The bad news is I owe South Carolina a little over three.  Oh well, lots better than I fared last year!

What else?  Still need to pull a little paperwork together so I will hopefully have all I need to satisfy the Korean immigration folks that I’m worthy of an F-6 (spouse) visa.

And I’ll be playing my last darts in Columbia for awhile tonight at my home bar Kwagga.  I’m actually going to miss my darting friends here.  I think being excited about returning to Korea and being a little sad about leaving Columbia means I might be doing things right.  Come September I’ll be blue about leaving Korea but excited about coming home I reckon.

Bright and early I’ll drive over to the daughter’s house as she has graciously agreed to drive us up to the Charlotte airport.

Time for me to fly!