The outlook was looking bleak that night as 501 did play
His opponent sat on a double 16–an out he could hit any day
While the Walrus was faced with a hefty sixty and a ton
A possible out for sure–but one he’d never done

It would have been much closer but he was throwing like a dope
So there didn’t seem to be much cause for having any hope
A victory seemed unlikely, but then you never know
And win or lose you still got to make the throw

The Walrus swigged his beer then stepped up to the line
It could have been that he was drunk or just really feeling fine
When Jee Yeun shouted “fighting baby” he let go with a small fart
There wasn’t any question it was The Walrus with the dart

There was ease in his manner as The Walrus took his stance
He took a breath, shook his head, and wiped his hands upon his pants
He gazed upon his target and then let his Widow fly
When the chalker called out “triple” The Walrus heaved a sigh

“He always was a lucky fuck” someone muttered in the crowd
“Come on! let’s see another one!” shouted others right out loud
It hadn’t seemed that hot before but The Walrus did perspire
And then he threw another dart–a triple, just inside the wire

And now what seemed impossible was just a 40 out
The Walrus was feeling confident, there wasn’t any doubt
He owned the double 20, or so he liked to think
He’d throw this dart, win the match, and buy the house a drink

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout
But there is no joy in Itaewon–The Walrus has bounced out.

(with apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer)

…lyrically speaking.

Two dart tourneys yesterday.  Ten hours later I was feeling used and abused.  So, I wrote a song about it.

(With apologies to Lennon/McCartney)

It’s been a hard darts night
And I’ve been throwing like a punk
It’s been a hard darts night

But at least I’m getting drunk
Yet when I get to the line
I think I’ll get it right this time
But I still miss the out

You know I throw all day
To win some money to buy my drinks
And when you lose it in the final leg
Well the money, it kind of stinks
And so I get home and moan
‘Cause I’m to blame alone
You know I can’t hit an out

When I practice, everything seems to be fine
In the games, I don’t have a clue at the line, yeah, yeah, yeah

It’s been a hard darts night
And I’m really having trouble
It’s been a hard darts night
‘Cause I can’t hit the f’n double
But I’ll be back for some more
Because I’m just a darts whore
And that makes me feel alright

…I did anyway.

It’s the final match of the Korea Darts Federation tourney featuring Alister “All-Star” Tarbett from Scotland and your humble blog host.  Yeah, this is the tourney I swore wouldn’t give me a big head.  It was with sincere modesty that I posted this clip from the match on YouTube.

Last night I played in my first tournament sponsored by the Korea Darts Federation and sanctioned by the World Darts Federation.  And by hook and by crook I managed to somehow win the damn thing.  Well, actually I threw just about the best darts I can ever remember shooting.  Along the way I beat some players that normally own me and finished by winning 15 out of 20 games.

I came away with W140,000 prize money and a sweet trophy.  And if I understand correctly I’ll go from being an unranked amateur to having a World Darts Federation ranking.  Even if I’m ranked at the bottom, going from nothing to worst is a step up in my world.
Now, some people might fear I’ll let this victory go to my head.  I don’t see that happening.

I’ve observed quite a bit of controversy during Cricket matches lately.  And it always revolves around the same issue–pointing.  Or to be more precise, what some folks consider “excessive” pointing.

To state the obvious, pointing is a strategic part of the game.  Everyone has an opinion on darts strategy it seems, so here’s mine.

To begin, there is no rule limiting how much or how often you or your opponent can throw points.  Accordingly, the best way to keep from being pointed, excessively or otherwise, is to close your numbers before your opponent does.  Granted, that’s easier said than done, but complaining about someone’s points is well, pointless.  You’ve got to take care of business at the oche.

Since no one in my circle of darters is likely to be appearing on ESPN anytime soon, we are all going to be faced with the issue of when and how much to point.  Some of that will depend on the game situation and your foe, but there are some general rules of thumb I think apply in most circumstances.

1.  Being ahead on points is a good thing.  A very good thing.  As long as you have more points on the board than the guy (or gal) you’re playing, you can’t be beat!  How many points should you be ahead?  Depends on your comfort level.  I personally like to stay up by 2 bulls (that’s 26 points if you’re counting properly).  Your mileage may vary, but I do believe there is such a thing as too many points.  I’ll discuss that a little later.

2.  Make all your darts work for you, especially that third one.  Let’s talk this through.  Say you open the game with a single 20 and then hit the triple with your next dart.  What are you going to do with that third one?  Yeah, yeah, you’re going to throw it at the board, but where on the board does it have the most value to you?  The experts (at least the ones in a book I read when I first started darting) say you should expect no more than a single mark on any given dart.  Which makes sense when you consider the odds.  If I get one triple out of 3 darts on average, I’m throwing damn good.  And I think that’s true for most of us grunts amateurs.

So, should I use my last dart for a single 19 or stay on the 20 for the points?  I’d rather have a 40 point lead and no 19s, than 20 points and one 19.  Here’s why.  Let’s say your opponent answers with a 5 mark on 19s.  You are still up on points, with the 20 closed.  That’s pretty good shape.  And here’s what I’d do next, I would try to close the 19s.  If I hit a single 19 and then miss on the second dart, where is my third dart going to have the most value?  Back up top!  If I’m up by 22 points, my foe will need two 19s before he even thinks about working on closing the 20s.  I pretty much stick to that strategy all around the board–if I can’t close a number with my third dart (again, assuming I’ll throw a single) and I have the opportunity to throw it for points, that’s where it is most likely going.

3.  When is enough, enough?  As stated earlier, you’ll find your own comfort level. If I’m up by a couple of numbers (or god forbid, down by a couple) I’ll alter my strategy accordingly.  I’ve seen a lot of really good players once they get up on points make that third dart “work” by throwing at the bull.  I’ve been on the wrong side of that strategy a few times, and trust me it is disconcerting to be down on points and seeing the bulls get closed mid-game.

And remember this–sometimes points just happen.  You (or your foe) is going to hit a triple when a single would suffice.  And we’ve all seen those irritating occasions when a shot at the 15 turns into a slider triple 17 for points.  Ok, well it’s not so irritating when you have the “good luck”, but the point is that its nothing to get overly upset about.

4.  Winning is the point.  I play to win.  And like most people, I really don’t like losing.  If I get beat by a superior player, thems the breaks.  If I beat myself, then it’s on me.  Darts is a funny game in that while you are playing another player, it really comes down to you and board.  If you take care of business at the oche, you’re going to win your share of matches.  If you let what your opponent is doing with his darts get inside your head, you are likely going to lose.  And if your opponent figures out that throwing “excessive” points is going to rattle you, well, guess what?  They are going to throw those points.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it much either.  But rather than get mad, I try to get even.  I said earlier that as long as you are up on points, you can’t lose.  But on the flip side, until you close all the numbers and bulls, you can’t win.  So, someone throwing points they don’t need instead of working on closing numbers they do need to close is actually doing you a big favor.  In my head I’m always saying “thank you for keeping me in this game!”  You don’t always come back when you are down a hundred or more points, but as long as you have an open number to shoot at, you’ve got a chance to win.  A few timely bulls or some trip 15s eats up a big points lead real quick. And I see exactly that happen pretty damn frequently.  So, I say let them point and thank them after you take the W.

5.  Darts is a game.  A game usually played in bars.  By people in various stages of inebriation.   And maybe at times we take it all just a little too seriously.  I guess I’d just remind everyone that we are supposed to be having some fun at this game.  I understand that some of us are more competitive than others.  But getting angry is counterproductive to throwing good darts, so there is really nothing to be gained from going down that road.

Darts is a game, but I don’t think it’s a “gentleman’s game”.  There are good darters and bad darters.  Nice people and not so nice people play the game.  People have different ideas on how to play the game, some are good (mine) some are not (theirs).  See what I mean?  Play your game and let them play theirs.   You can’t make your opponent play it your way.  If they take a bad strategic approach to pointing, it’s on them, not you.  Don’t take it personal and by all means, let your darts do your talking!

I’ve seen some really stupid stuff.  Like the guy who threw for points needing only one bull to win.  That’s just plain ignorant.  And probably unsportsmanlike.  Don’t be that guy.  And more importantly don’t  let that guy drag you down to his level.

Let me finish with a story about me.  I was playing a person who is not only an outstanding darter that I admire and respect, but also a friend.  In a tournament cricket game he opened with a 9-mark, all 20s.   And I was pissed because to my way of thinking after 60 points, I’d have moved on to another number.  Of course, an angry darter is a crappy darter and I lost the match.  Afterwards I said some words I almost immediately regretted.  After I calmed down and apologized we had a nice talk.  He said he was really surprised by my reaction.  He said he stayed on the 20s for two reasons:  he was “feeling” that number and he respected me enough as a player to figure out he was going to need those points to beat me.

And that’s really the lesson in a nutshell, isn’t it?  Make the third dart work for you and don’t take it personal.  One man’s “excessive pointing” is another man’s show of respect.

So, I signed up for a singles dart league here in Itaewon.  Last night was the first for competition.  The format is “a race to 9”, meaning you keeping playing until someone wins 9 legs (games).  Potentially, that can require throwing 17 straight games.  I was fortunate enough to take my match 9 straight.  I’m not sure I’d have the gas to go much more.

Anyway, it should be interesting and it will give me the opportunity to throw a lot of darts and hopefully improve my game.  Although I doubt I’ll ever throw quite as well as I did last night again…

This time we played a supercricket format at Pub Dolce Vita.

Your humble blog host and his partner Chris Werner took home first place money…

…and the fans went wild!

As is our custom, following the tourney we retired to a favorite restaurant for some fine Korean delicacies (in this case Don Valley for samgyapsal).

Tonight is league night in Itaewon where I’ll be making my first appearance of the season with Dolce Vita’s What the Bulls? team.

Ain’t life grand?

These past several days I’ve gotten off my lazy ass and worked at practicing my dart game.  The picture above represents the highly coveted and rarely thrown 6 bulls (aka “three in the red”, “triple double”, and “lucky bastard”) which I accomplished yesterday.  Of course, I threw it in practice which is pretty much meaningless.  But Jee Yeun was excited enough about it to snap a photo, so there it is.

I can definitively report that the old saw “practice makes perfect” is pretty much pure bullshit.  However, I’ve seen some evidence that practice does in fact help you improve.  I’ve found that my inconsistency is somewhat less consistent, which is to say that I totally suck less often than usual lately.  Obviously, I’m pretty darn happy about that.  I’m still throwing bricks (three darts, no hits) more than I’d like, but the triples seem to be coming more than they used to, and as any darter will tell you, a few triples can mask some otherwise terrible throws.

So, Wednesday night was the finale of the Puddlin’ Duck league here in Columbia and we played it out as ten man (well, nine men, one woman) singles event.   I had the good fortune to prevail in spite of myself and that victory gave me enough points to be crowned league champion (although there is technically no crown awarded).  I unseated my nemesis James Mabie, but to be fair he wasn’t there to defend his ranking these past few weeks.

Feeling inspired and full of confidence (not to mention bored with sitting around the house) we made the drive out to lovely Aiken, SC to partake in the blind draw tournament at the VFW post.   I’ve been meaning to get out there and give it a try for several months, but one thing leading to another and all (a nice way of avoiding the word “lazy” don’t you think?) I hadn’t had the opportunity.  I’m so damn spoiled by public transportation in Seoul that I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around the idea of driving over an hour to get to a darts match.   But the reality is that Columbia is pretty much a darts wasteland, so it’s drive or lay on my amazingly comfortable couch perusing the thousands of programs available through the miracle of Netflix and satellite TV.

There’s lots to like about the VFW venue.  10 boards, cheap beer, very friendly people, indoor smoking, some excellent players, and almost everyone seemed to be having a good time.  I’m always somewhat uncomfortable my first time in a new dart bar.  I don’t know anyone, no one knows me, and I feel pressured (totally self-imposed) to throw well so I don’t come off as a total dweeb.  Consequently, I usually come off as a total dweeb.  I remember my first night at the Puddlin’ Duck hearing Jee Yeun telling people “really, he’s usually a lot better than this!”.  Sweet girl, always has my back.

But last night, folks were coming up and introducing themselves and telling me how glad they were that I’d made the trip out.  Just good old fashioned Southern Hospitality.  I also had the good fortune to draw a solid partner and we seemed to find away to pick each other up when the need arose (which means, when I had a bad throw, he didn’t and vice-versa).  We fought our way through the winners bracket, had some real battles against players we probably wouldn’t normally beat but did, and came away with first place money.  When I hit the double 9 out for the win in the finals, I couldn’t help but dance a little jig.  Gangnam-style, of course.

As you can see my partner David was ecstatic about our victory.

It was after one in the morning when we got out of there.  My Garmin took me through 20 miles of dark narrow highways before finally leading me back to the Interstate.  Between Aiken and Columbia, I passed one car with a what I assume was a drunk driver (he was driving in the left lane under the speed limit with his bright lights on) and was passed by one.  Ah, the open highway!  Oh yeah, my odometer hit 55555 during the drive home.  That passes for excitement on the road at 2 a.m., at least for me.

And so ends my tale of dart prowess, long drives, and a pretty damn fine Friday night.

I’ve got a pretty sweet dart setup at the house.  Only problem is that I rarely put it to use.  I play one night a week here in Columbia versus three or four (or more) when I’m in Korea.  Consequently, my game really suffers from rust and it takes me a few weeks in Korea to get back up to speed.

For me, it is easy to get motivated to head out to the bar for some beers, social interaction, and honest to goodness competition.  Throwing at my home board by myself is pretty uninspiring.  Still, they say if you want to get better you have to work at it.  And playing with myself (shuddup!) sure does feel like work.  But these past few days I’m putting forth the effort.  Hopefully, it will pay off next time I’m standing at the oche.

…and we kept on fighting till the end…

Hell, you know the rest.

A classic battle tonight against the boys from Scrooge Pub.  We were tied 6-6 after the singles.  We were tied 9-9 after the first round of doubles play.  Scrooge went 2-1 in the next doubles match to go up 11-10 (13 legs required to win the game).  Against all odds,  Greg and I took the next doubles match 3-0 (with Greg hitting a sweet 50 out) to secure the championship for Dolce Vita’s proud Ride it In team.

It was an honor playing with Jacob, Greg, Cory and Bridget.  Special kudos to Bridget, our fearless Captain, who kept us focused on victory.

Great job everyone!

updated to correct my doubles partner’s name.  I’m guilty of blogging while drunk!  Sorry, Greg!

Ride it In moves to the championship round of the Seoul International Dart League “B” division playoffs with last night’s hard fought victory over the Blue Bulls.

The final score was 13-6, but the match was closer than that score might indicate.  Singles was a dog fight, but we managed to scratch out a 7-5 lead going into doubles.  The games were all close in the first round of doubles, but we won five of six, and it was pretty much over after that.

Next week we will meet the winner of Scrooge Pub and Gecko’s.  Stay tuned.

Oh, and here’s a little Queen.

Or the equivalent in darts.

First round in the playoffs last night saw Ride it In from Dolce Vita take out Dillinger’s 13-5.  The playoff format is the first team to take 13 legs wins the match.  We came out of the singles round up 10-2 and there was really no stopping us after that.

The Dillinger’s folks are a good bunch of fellas and we had some laughs along the road to victory.  YJ treated both teams to a round of shots after the match which is always a nice touch.

Onward and upward in week two is our plan.

Ok, so it’s not all that original and there are the requisite typos and grammatical errors.  But it’s mine!

My dart league team, Ride it In.   (L to R) Jee Yeun Lee (head cheerleader, score sheet minder, and getter of drinks), Bridget Werner (Captain), Yours Truly, Jacob Leonard, Cory Clow, and Greg White.

Last night we took on the boys from Sin Bin Sports Pub.  I’m no hockey fan, but I understand “sin bin” is the nickname for the penalty box in that icy sport.  They actually have a penalty box sin bin built into the bar.  Haven’t seen anyone thrown in there (yet) though.  The pub also features a shuffle board, a bar game I haven’t seen since my childhood.  Yeah, when I was a kid my dad took us into the bars with him and we played while he drank.  Actually, I recall one night where he drank a lot and challenged some guy to shuffleboard for money.  And he lost all his.  The bartender slipped us boys a few bucks so we’d have gas money to get home.  Ah memories.

Anyway, we came out of the match with a 20-5 victory, the second week in a row we’ve achieved such a lop-sided win.  We need it though because our arch rivals from Gecko’s are hanging tough.  We meet them head-to-head in two weeks.  Not to sound cocky, but I’m smelling a championship in our future.

One of my goals for my return to Korea was to reinvigorate my dart game.  In the states I was playing one night a week and was lazy when it came to practice.  It was no surprise that my game had regressed significantly.  I’ve been throwing well of late, and came out of last night match with 13 marks, including a 5 bulls, 3BS, two 7 marks, and a couple high tons to go with a 7-2 performance.  A satisfying showing.  I just need to keep it up.

Sin Bin is one of the newer pubs in Itaewon and they’ve done a pretty nice job with their darts setup.  The Satan is saying “I’m a dart player, get me a drink” or something like that.

Is that a great picture of Seoul or what?

Almost as great were my darts at the Bless U tourney last night.  That’s two first place finishes in two days.  One thing I have noticed is having an excellent partner seems to make a big difference.

My game is getting better though.  Not what it once was yet.  But I’m getting there.

…but it’s always pretty nice!

Had the pleasure of splitting the W200,000 purse with my partner Gunwoo from the Beer Box tourney yesterday.

Woo Hoo!

Dolce Vita Pub of course.  Friday night darts.  1st place finish in the Prime Time tourney.  And I hit the draw for out for a sweet W40,000 payout.

Followed by samgyapsal and galbi at Don Valley.

That’s the way I like it.

Well, maybe not the Empire State Building.  But the Ride it In dart team took a big victory tonight against the Pins from the Loft Pub.  I didn’t throw many marks but still managed a 7-2 showing on the night.  So, I’ll sleep happily tonight even if I’m not a true superman…

Ventured out to Hongdae yesterday to play in a darts tournament.  First time in that famed bar district, although on a Sunday afternoon it was relatively quiet.

Hongdae street scene.

The Beer Box hosted the tourney.  Not a bad place to spend some time chucking the arrows.

Getting warmed up for the main event.  Blind draw Doubles 501 was the format, double elimination.  There were a few of us miguks out from Itaewon, a large contingent of Filipinos, and of course some quality Korean players.

Things started off on a winning note as me and partner Jeremy defeated a strong team of Korean HK and Pinoy Rey.  We weren’t able to maintain that level of play however and wound up meeting HK and Rey again in the losers bracket where they achieved revenge in a hard fought battle.

My sweet dart widow Jee Yeun was there to cheer me on and she also pitched in by scoring a couple of matches.

Jeremy and I didn’t make to the money round but we had a lot of fun and threw a lot of darts, so it was a good day.  I stuck around to play in a singles tourney.  For some reason I was put in the “A” division group.  I managed to win a couple of matches but quality prevailed in the end as I was dispatched by superior players.

I didn’t play like Jindogae for the most part.  My game seems to be generally improving.  Let’s hope I can carry that forward in league play tonight.