Got through the day yesterday with only one hitch.
At the Clark County courthouse for a marriage license.
At the cheesy Las Vegas wedding chapel where our vows were exchanged.
I count myself a lucky man.
After the ceremony was concluded it was time to rush back to the hotel and start the honeymoon. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m talking darts. The blind draw doubles event of the New World Dart Series. Hey, Jee Yeun was a darts widow even before I married her!
Puttin’ on my game face.
Man, it’s been a long time since I did domestic travel. Things are worse than ever. That crappy airline food they used to give away free (and it was overpriced even then), you now have to pay for. And that luggage you brought along with the price of the ticket now comes with an extra charge. Just more crap in the pain in the ass that modern air travel has become. Here’s the story of my getting to Las Vegas.
I mentioned to Jee Yeun that we’d have to pay the baggage surcharge so she somehow managed to get EVERYTHING in one bag (not counting our jammed carry-on backpacks). So, I paid US Airways twenty-five bucks for the privilege of actually checking a bag and put that sucker proudly on the scale. It was 58 pounds, eight pounds over the limit. “That will be $90.00 unless you can lose 8 pounds” the counter person said brusquely. Being properly motivated, I opened the bag and transferred the kimchi and portable cook stove (two items Jee Yeun won’t travel without) to a carry on sack and that brought us down to 49.5 pounds. Mission accomplished!
I asked the counter person about getting me and Jee Yeun seats together and she asked if we could do the exit row. WooHoo! More leg room methinks. But apparently there was a problem, so she gets on the phone, then comes back to explain that the exit row is only available from Charlotte to Phoenix. “Phoenix?” I ask incredulously. “I thought it was direct to Las Vegas!” She then explained that indeed my flight was going to Las Vegas, but it was making a stop in Phoenix first. OK, well I don’t remember seeing that on the itinerary when I bought the ticket, but whatever. She said she could put us in a different exit row from Phoenix to Las Vegas, we’d just have to move upon landing. Alright, fine. I can do that.
Upon landing in Charlotte I noticed that I didn’t have a boarding pass for the CLT-PHX leg, just a “reboarding pass” to my new seats to Las Vegas. No big deal, the counter person fixed me up and we settled in to wait for take off. Presently, they announced the flight was full and they wanted folks to check any bag that wouldn’t fit under the seat (no charge of course). We were going to be waiting for the one bag we checked anyway, so being the nice guy that I am I volunteered. I asked Jee Yeun’s daughter Sohee (who speaks very little English) to bring me the small suitcase she carried on the plane. She said the man took it from her when we boarded the small commuter jet in Columbia. OH SHIT! She gate checked the bag and didn’t pick up when we landed in Charlotte!
I go back to the counter and explained to the man there what had happened. He gave me a look that said “you are so screwed!” and told me my only option was to go back to the gate where we landed and see if it was still there. Problem was, we landed at “E” terminal and were departing for “B” terminal. If you happen to be familiar with Charlotte’s airport, you know those two points are as far apart as east is from west. Plus, the were boarding my flight to PHX-LAV which gave me about twenty minutes tops to retrieve the wayward bag and haul ass back to “B” terminal.
So, I did the OJ Simpson run through the airport and when I arrived back in “E” terminal I realized I wasn’t exactly sure which gate we had arrived at. E-3 looked kinda familiar so I started there. No dice I was told. Try E-6. Then I got sent to E-4 where a ground crew guy took pity on me and looked it up to confirm I had arrived at E-6. He said not to get my hopes up because if no one picks up the bag, they send it to baggage claim. Which would mean me exiting the terminal and going back through security. I definitely did not have time for that! As luck would have it, my bag was indeed still waiting at E-6. And I now had less than 10 minutes to get back to “B” terminal. When I told the ground guy what time my plane left he gave me that same “man, are you screwed” look and suggested that I “run”. So, run I did and made it back as the last of the passengers were boarding.
Now, if you’ve seen me you know I’m not in as good of shape as I once was. And a brisk walk is about as fast as I ever go these days. After running from one end of the Charlotte airport to the other I was sucking wind. When I sat down in my seat I was convinced I was having a heart attack. I could almost hear that tired workhorse in my chest pounding, I was sweating like crazy, and really breathing hard. I was hoping there was a doctor on board just in case I conked out at 30,000 feet. I am happy to report I didn’t. But I might have.
Oh, and those exit row seats I’d scored in Columbia? They were not the “good” exit row seats where you have about 6 feet of leg room. It was the row behind that one. I’m not sure why it’s even considered an exit row. You get no additional leg room, and given my belated boarding, I had to put my overstuffed backpack under the seat in front of me, leaving next to no space to stretch my tired legs. And my seat didn’t even recline! Suffice to say I had an uncomfortable ride to the Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. Which has got to be the coolest name for an airport I ever did hear. Although the airport itself is old, outdated, and overcrowded.
The rest of the journey went pretty much without incident. Both the big and the wayward bags found themselves together on the baggage carousel and after a short cab ride we arrived at the Tuscany Suites hotel right around noontime not much worse for the wear. Check-in time was 3:00 p.m. but I was told that for a mere $12.00 (plus tax) I could get an early check-in. I said “Let me get this straight. You have a room that I’ve paid ready and waiting for me, but I can’t use it unless I give you another twelve dollars?” The clerk nodded affirmatively. At first I said fuck it, check me in. But then it occurred to me that this was a matter of principle and I declined to pay the surcharge.
When I told Jee Yeun and the kids what I had done, they were not happy campers (an no one does “unhappy camper” like a Korean. We had started our day at 0400 and everyone was tired (although I was the only one who had done wind sprints). Admitting defeat, I went back up to the check-in counter and announced to a nice young man named Ernest that I had reconsidered I would indeed take the early check-in. I told him again how ridiculous I thought the charge was. He gave me a conspiratorial look and almost whispered “I’ll waive it for you”. Alright! Now you’re talking! When the paperwork was complete I congratulated him on his customer service skills and said “that’s the importance of being earnest!” He looked at me like that was first time he’d heard that witticism. Today. Ah well. Sometimes I can’t help but go a little Wilde.
Turns out, what the Tuscany gives, it takes away. Wireless internet is twelve bucks a day. Per device! Bastards.
At 0530 I’ll be boarding my flight at Columbia’s small but efficient Metropolitan Airport. Over the course of the weekend I expect I’ll see such sights as the Eiffel Tower, the canals of Venice, the Great Pyramid, and the New York skyline. I’ll be lodging in Tuscany.
That’s right, Sin City. Where day is night and night is day. The bright lights, glitz and faux glamor that all come together in that quaint desert village we like to call Las Vegas.
South Carolina recognizes common law marriage. Immigration and the IRS do not, so I’ll be making everything legal and tidy and hopefully completely to the satisfaction of my dear old Uncle Sam.
I’ll also be participating in the New World Dart Series event, sanctioned by the North American Professional Darts Association. Hey, if you can’t throw like a pro, you may as well get beat by some. Or so my thinking goes. It will be a good experience, especially given my fondness for harsh mistresses.
And that’s about it from here.
A solution is just 15 minutes away!
Beats me, but the nice folks at Samoa Airlines could tell you no doubt. Or at least the price of a kilo of flesh.
I’m a big guy, but charging by weight instead of by the seat makes some sense. It’s how the airlines have always charged for freight. And lord knows, passengers are treated pretty much like cattle these days anyway.
Heh, I was just wondering if I’d be able to afford to fly my fat ass belly back and forth to Korea. But with what I’d save on Jee Yeun’s ticket I could probably swing it. And what a great incentive for dieting–every pound lost would be like a discount on air travel!
Me has not risen!
But I didn’t drop much either. This week’s weigh-in finds me at 263.0 down .5 from last week and 15.5 since February 19. Girth is unchanged at 49″ and down 2.5″ overall.
In other news, I pulled an all-nighter and watched the entire 7th season of Showtime’s Dexter last night. It’s a fascinating concept (the “hero” is a serial killer) and the writers have done an outstanding job of keeping the storyline fresh and the plots reasonably believable. In fact, they’ve addressed one of my major concerns–why no one (including his sister) at the police department had grown suspicious of Dex over the course of several television seasons and multiple kills. Anyway, good television.
I’ll be flying out to Las Vegas on Thursday morning for the New World Dart Series. This is a professional event for North American players. As hard experience in Augusta and Virginia Beach have taught me, I am definitely not ready for prime time. I may be an above average pub darter in Itaewon, but I can’t hang with these guys on anything approaching a competitive basis. So, why do I try? Because I can! And it is Vegas baby!
It’s all part of the design. As is made abundantly clear in this somewhat irreverent video clip…
Now that our visitors from Korea have arrived safely. Welcome to America Sohee and Junsoek!
And after a long flight on United Airlines with crappy miguk food, they were ready to chow down on some Korean goodness…
At our favorite joint in Myeong-dong.
Your right, the usage in the title is wrong. And so is it in the previous sentence. Sue me!
I actually do care and do sometimes notice when I screw up. Most of my errors are sloppiness rather than ignorance. Some things just irk me. For example, I think the quotation mark outside the punctuation is aesthetically displeasing. An Englishmen is rumoured to have said “that’s how we do it in the old country”.
Anyway, I saw this shirt on the internet and had to laugh:
Kevin Kim, if I knew where to buy one you’d be wearing it proudly. So their!
I spent the weekend in Virginia Beach getting my ass kicked in darts. It’s hard work being the tournament patsy and I did develop quite the appetite. After all, man does not live by low carb beer alone. They had a great snack bar set up for the tourney participants. Unfortunately, the selections were all rich in carbohydrates. Which led me to the hotel’s seaside restaurant in search of something healthy to eat. The best choice for me seemed to be the surf and turf salad and I ordered one up. After quite the wait, the server brought me a plate of leaves covered in strawberries. I said “what’s this?” and she told me it was the surf and turf salad I’d ordered. Well I took my fork and demonstrated for her that this particular salad was lacking in both the surf and the turf. “Oh” she replied, “we only serve the surf and turf on Sunday, so the kitchen must have gotten confused.” Apparently. After another long wait I got what I ordered, a tasty salad with some strips of steak and some small shrimps.
It ain’t easy keeping to this diet when I travel, although my sweetie did her best to keep me supplied with healthy snacks. And if this week’s weigh-in is any indication, the sacrifices seem to be paying off. I’ve even noticed a slight change appearance-wise. I’m still a big bellied MFer, but when poked my stomach now has some give. It used to be as hard as a watermelon. So, there’s that.
This week’s weight (still using my unreliable scale) is 263.5, down an amazing 3.5 pounds from last week and an incredible 15 pounds from the 278.5 I weighed on February 19. I pray to Buddha that I will continue to look less like him with each passing week.
My girth has dropped to 49″, down from last week’s 50.5″ and 2.5″ from my 51.5″ starting point.
Yes, I am pleased. I still have a long, long way to go to reach my target of around 220 pounds. That’s still on the high side according to the experts who claim my healthy weight to be 180 (I’m 6′ 1″ tall). I haven’t been that skinny since high school and I don’t expect, or really want, to be that thin again in this lifetime.
I’m thinking this week’s results are likely an outlier, but I’m obviously pleased to be heading in the right direction.
Although my dart game was in the toilet all weekend, I did meet some folks with a Korea connection. They had been living down Songtan way, a place I visit for darts only a couple of times a year. But we knew some of the same people and it was nice to encounter some fellow lovers of Korea. They really got a kick out of my Walrus dart jersey.
…Virginia Beach to be precise.
Here for a rather large annual dart tournament, the aptly named Virginia Beach Dart Classic. An interesting ride getting out here. From an amazing sunrise in South Carolina to a surprising heavy snowstorm in Virginia. The sun was quite beautiful until it began frying my retinas. Driving blind is not as much fun as it sounds. It’s 36 degrees Fahrenheit, so at least the snow wasn’t sticking. There is, however, an icy wind a blowing that makes standing on the 6th floor balcony quite painful.
Oh, the reason I was up before the sun this morning was to make the 6 hour drive and arrive in time for the two o’clock start of the Pro Cricket qualifying event. Having arrived at just prior to one, I was feeling rather pleased with myself. Right up until I noticed the start time is four o’clock. Duh! In my defense, the actual Pro Cricket event does start at two tomorrow. So you can see how I might have been confused.
Speaking of Pros, I see from the sign-up list that some of the top darters in the country have turned out. That should make the punishment that will shortly be coming my way all the more delicious.
Ah well, there’s always the view…
Seoraksan. No dragons in evidence. Some fog but no Smaug. I think you need to go to Yongsan for that.
It was 1976, America turned 200 and I was 21. I was living in a cracker box two bedroom house with my wife and baby girl in Westminster, California. We were poor. Being on food stamps poor. I had a job in route sales, delivering packaged sandwiches to convenience stores all over Orange County. The wife was waiting tables at the local Sizzler Steakhouse. We also had a German Shepard named Angie. I rented the house from my mother who lived next door.
That’s me sitting at the kitchen table calculating the statistics for the softball team I captained. The Ringwraiths. We of course didn’t have personal computers or the internet in those days. That calculator I’m using was pretty high tech stuff for me. We did have a 21″ RCA color television. A Christmas gift from mom and dad.
My luck was going to change for the better a couple of months down the road when I hired on with the United States Postal Service as a letter carrier. The pay back then was $5.25 per hour and of course I got the full benefit package (health insurance, paid leave, and for the first time in my young life, job security).
Funny thing is, I don’t recall ever feeling put out by my financial situation. Truth be told, I guess I didn’t know any better. I had grown up in a working class family. We didn’t have a nice house, stylish clothes or fancy cars, but we had food on the table and a roof over our heads. So, I guess it was just what I was used to. Which is not to say I didn’t envy the nice things others had, but I didn’t begrudge them the trappings of success (or at least the good fortune of having high income parents).
Things were what that were, we made the best of it, and hell, we were generally pretty damn happy most of the time. We had a tent and we’d frequently go camping. We had good friends. Marijuana was cheap. Life was good.
All these years later I find myself once again living in a two bedroom house (albeit significantly larger and paid for), comfortable in my status as a government pensioner, sitting at the kitchen table writing this remembrance on a notebook computer to post on the Internet. I guess I’d tell that young man in the photograph that things would find a way of working themselves out. But I’m thinking he somehow already knows that.
Life is grand, isn’t it?
The Ringwraiths (yeah, we were all really into Tolkien in those days). Let’s see how many names I can remember. Front row (L-R): Unknown, Dutch Griffin (my then wife’s ex-boyfriend), Chuck Martin, unknown, Doug Price (our star player), my brother Keith. Back row: Unknown, Jim Meehan, Rod Headlee, Larry Raemakers, and me.
I got most of them, not bad for an old stoner I’d say.
Actually, I’d settle for a scale that accurately measures my relationship with gravity…
Kim Jong Un versus Lee Jee Yeun. I know where I’m placing my bets!
When they built this place they didn’t get it wrong.
At Maui, Hawaii, USA
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
(I guess before we had the past, present and future, there was only pretense.)
Yeah, I know. People used to tell me not to quit my day job But now I don’t have one. So there.
In Hawaii.
He told me flat out that I’ve got bad genes. The most worrisome for me is the family history of diabetes. After my last check up Dr. Yu (a hilarious* Korean at Soonchunhwang hospital’s international clinic) told me that I’ve dodged the diabetes bullet thus far but if I want to keep it that way I’d better start exercising and lose some weight. I promised him I would be slimmer when I see him again in August.
Another doctor I follow online is a big promoter of the LCHF (low carb, high fat) diet. So, I was definitely encouraged reading his latest post about a patient with Type 2 diabetes who reports a stunning reversal of the effects of the disease after a year of the LCHF lifestyle.
So, on to the results of this week’s weigh-in. One thing I’ve discovered is my scale basically sucks. I mean, it’s a digital Health-o-Meter, a decent brand in the mid-price range. But I weighed myself several times over the course of a few minutes and got a 1 pound variance in weight. And no, I didn’t eat or poop in the interim. I’m taking the reading in the middle for today. Then I’ll go to Amazon and buy a new scale.
Today’s weight: 267.0 (or 266.5 or 267.5, take your pick). That’s down (around) 3 pounds from last week’s 270. And down 11.5 since February 19. WooHoo! Best of all I’m moving in the right direction again. This is especially interesting to me because I was a total slug this week. I mean, about the only exercise I got was getting up to take a leak during my marathon sessions of playing Civ IV.
Girth remains unchanged from last week’s 50.5″ and down one inch overall. Although it did seem that my shirt buttons weren’t bursting with their usual fervor.
Anyway, I’ll call that progress and recommit myself to actually moving around some in an exercise-like fashion.
*Here’s a funny Dr. Yu story. Jee Yeun and I share appointments. During our last visit I told Dr. Yu that Jee Yeun was always complaining about being bored. I asked if there was anything he could prescribe for that. Without missing a beat he responded “Yes! Viagra.”
I can’t remember if I blogged that before or just posted on Facebook. Ah well, it was worth repeating.