[in my best Forrest Gump impersonation] Life is like a peach, sometimes it is sweet and juicy, other times it’s the pits.

Hmm, that seemed like an original thought in my head, but it sounds cliche when I write it.  A quick Google search didn’t turn up that phrase (at least on the first page of results), so until proven otherwise, you heard it here first!

I never saw a purple peach
I never hope to see one
But in the skies above Japan
I surely was be in one
*ahem*

Yesterday’s visa run to Osaka via Peach Air was generally successful in that I am now legal in Korea through September 9.  The fact that my return flight to the USA is on September 10 is somewhat worrisome, but I reckon I can finagle an extra day by groveling before the kind folks at the Korean Immigration Service.  It worked before anyway.

I am happy to report that Peach Air graciously allowed the change from the name of my nephew Joshua who lives in Reno, NV to that of nephew Justin who was actually traveling with me, without incident or additional fees.  Justin said something to the counter person in Korean which I suspect was along the lines of “my uncle is old and stupid, please forgive him”, but he denies it.  Ah well.

I had never flown on a low-cost carrier before and it turned out to be pretty much what I expected.  Peach Air features a one class cabin configuration and that class can best be described as “steerage”.  Who knew you could cram so many seats into a little Airbus A-319?  When I sat down my knees were firmly pressed against the seat in front of me.  Thankfully, everyone on board seemed to have the common decency to not recline.  Going over the middle seat next to me was empty so I appropriated that space to stretch my legs.  No such luck coming back however.  What got me though was that the seats were about as thinly padded as those on the subway.  I could actually feel the knees of the passenger behind me in my back the entire trip.  Well, the flight was only 1 1/2 hours and I figure a little discomfort now and then builds character, right?

I will say this about Peach Air, they are good at providing the limited service they offer.  The plane was boarded by seat number (A/B/C) versus row number.  I’d never seen that done before and it did seem to go quickly.  On both legs the doors closed early and we departed on time.  And the flight attendants were cute, even though their English was essentially impossible to understand.

Upon arrival, Japanese immigration asked where I’d be staying in Osaka.  I said “the airport”.  I couldn’t explain it any better than that, so he had me put my return flight down as my Japanese destination.  The customs folks were similarly nonplussed with my answer to the question “what is your purpose for visiting Japan?”.  I said “shopping”.  They asked where I intended to shop and I responded “the airport”.  The agent then asked incredulously “what are you going to buy?” and I said “cosmetics for my wife”.  Which was the truth.  He finally shook his head and let me in.

We now had six hours to kill at Kansai International Airport.  Peach Air flies into terminal 2 which appears to be a re-purposed hanger.  They are also the only airline using that terminal, so there is not much to see or do there.  We took the shuttle bus to the main terminal, but it was frankly disappointing as well.  I guess Incheon has spoiled me.  Being hungry the first order of business was finding some food.  I’m not big on Japanese cuisine so we settled on a place that served “individual” sized pizza and beer.  And we had six of each.  The shopping was also limited (I suspect the big duty free stores were beyond the international departure gates, which we couldn’t access since we were flying from the other terminal).  Suffice to say, everything on Jee Yeun’s shopping list was unavailable in any of the shops I checked.  So, we killed the remainder of our time drinking beer at eight bucks a mug.

As I mentioned above, Korea did not take issue with my same day departure and return and granted me another 90 days.  So, sixteen hours after leaving my apartment I was back home dead tired but with the satisfaction of having accomplished my mission without incident.  I’d call that sweet and juicy!

…off to Osaka.  Well, I’ll be flying but it’s technically a visa run.  Tomorrow will be my 90th day in this iteration of my Korea life.  As a lowly tourist that’s the maximum I’m allowed per stay.  So bright and early in the morning I’ll be catching the A-Rex (airport railroad express train) to Incheon where I’ll board a Peach Air flight to Japan.  I’ll chill out in the airport for a few hours and then catch a flight back “home” late in the afternoon.

Never had the Peach Air experience before but I’ve got low expectations.  It’s one of those “low cost, no frills” airlines and I understand it’s one of the first (or only) of that ilk flying out of Japan.  And the online reservation process was a bit disconcerting.  The quoted one-way fare from Incheon was something like W56,000.  The cheapest return flight was about W90,000.  And the fees and taxes brought the round trip to just under W200,000.  And then they charged me another W20,000 for paying by credit card, which is the only way you can pay online.  Bastards better not try and charge me for the oxygen I’ll consume on board!

And oh yeah, did I mention I suck at math?  I booked my return flight to the states for September 10 to accommodate Jee Yeun’s desire to be home for Chuseok.  Well, it turns out that July and August have 31 days (who knew?) so that means the visa I’m running to get will expire two days prior to my departure.  Ah well.  I do believe I can get a short extension at the immigration office by showing my return flight information.  At least that worked before.  Otherwise I suppose I’ll be a frequent flyer on Peach Air.

In other news, I submitted a resume for a contractor position on base today.  Yes, it’s true that I can admit that I may have retired a bit too soon.  Although it’s not really out of boredom that I’m applying for work.  A dart buddy mentioned that his company would be hiring 15 people or so (contingent on getting their contract renewed) and he said the jobs would pay about $22 an hour with a housing allowance.  That’s when my ears perked up.  The fact of the matter is I miss those heady days of having a paid for place to live (not to mention commissary privileges) much more than I miss actually working.  And that’s about the only way I can afford to live close to where I spend most of my time–Itaewon.

So, we’ll see.  The work has something to do with HAZMAT remediation, not exactly my area of expertise.  But the guy telling me about the job didn’t seem to think that would be an issue (he’d be my boss).  I’m not getting my hopes up or anything, if it works out I’d be happy to give it a try.  If not, well there’s always plan B.  Which I might need to come up with seeing as how Jee Yeun is talking about giving up her green card to avoid being hosed in taxes by two competing governments.  Apparently, the ROK will tax Jee Yeun like a foreigner on her property, and the USA will tax her on the key money she has deposited in the bank from that property.  As usual, it’s a royal cluster fuck.

And finally, this photo from last night’s dart action (actually after darts action when I was dancing with glee over a second place finish) was posted on facebook:

And a commenter said: I didn’t know PSY and Snoop Dogg were at Dillinger’s last night…

Everyone’s a comedian these days.

UPDATE: In addition to being math challenged, I’m apparently just plain ass stupid.  My nephew Justin is accompanying me on this visa run for the same purpose.  I purchased both tickets.  When I printed out the boarding passes Jee Yeun right away asked why I had booked the flight in the name of my other nephew Joshua.  I have no idea what that particular idiocy is gonna cost me.  Geez.

Ah, open a post with a random picture of beautiful women and the readers will come! Actually, this photo is relevant to the topic at hand. The pretty lady on the right is a person I’ve been knowing since my earliest days in Korea. She’ll be leaving later this summer to start a new life with her husband and my old friend Bill in Vietnam. The gal on the left is the new wife of my long time darts buddy Greg. They plan to move to the USA next spring. [corrected courtesy of eagle eyed commenter Kevin.]

Still, his imminent departure set me to reflecting on the transience of the expat lifestyle.  I’ve spent most of the last 9 years living in Korea on and off and each time I return there are fewer and fewer of the old familiar faces.  That’s to be expected of course; the military does it’s normal churn and English teachers tend to burn out after a few years.  Even some of the old timers still residing in Korea have tired of the bar/darting lifestyle.  Nevertheless, when I returned this time after a 13 month absence I was astounded at just how few people I actually knew.

On the other hand, three months into this iteration of my Korea life I’ve met lots of new folks whose company I enjoy.  I’m still playing lots of darts just like I always did, the beer is as cold and wet as ever, and I’m generally living a satisfactory and happy life.  Which is why I keep coming back I suppose.

The usual suspects.

Of the group above, I count three I’ve known for more than five years.  But the new faces will one day be the old faces I suppose.  The circle of life and all that.

Speaking of old faces, that’s me with two of my oldest friends in Itaewon, Jim and YJ. Not so coincidentally, they are the proprietors of my bar home, Pub Dolce Vita. It was a fortunate happenstance that led me to wander into Dolce Vita one afternoon in a state of distress over some bad experiences in the juicy bars I’d been frequenting (I was such a rube back then). YJ sat me down and gave me the facts of life about the Itaewon bar scene and in so doing saved me from making some big mistakes. Next thing I knew I was playing in the pool league (in which I was an absolute failure) and the dart league where I performed marginally better. And the rest as they say, is history. It certainly was a life changing event.

The other disconcerting change I can’t help but notice is that the new faces keep getting younger and younger (or perhaps I’m getting older).  I jokingly told Jim last night that one of the things I like about Dolce Vita is that it is one of the few bars where I’m not the oldest person in the room.  Of course, I hope to continue growing older (given that the alternative really sucks) but I can’t help but wonder how much longer I can live the lifestyle I’ve come to know and love.  Somehow I don’t see myself climbing those notorious steps up to the bar (and drunkenly navigating my way back down) in another ten years when I’m pushing 70.  Geez, just writing that made shudder.  Well, I’ll ride the wave as long as I can manage it I reckon.

On a more positive note, my partner and I won the doubles tournament. In the follow-on singles tourney, James (pictured) and I tied. Well, we played two legs of the three leg set, and rather than play the deciding leg we agreed to split 1st and 2nd place money between us. It was late and we I was tired. I’d put James in the new faces category (he’s been in Korea awhile, but he’s only been playing darts for a couple of years). He’s also a South Carolinian and we enjoyed having him as his Korean sweetheart visit our house in Columbia last summer.

Re-reading this post just now I expect the reader’s reaction will be along the lines of “brilliant insights, Captain Obvious.  Things change, time passes.  Thanks for enlightening us!”  Well, yeah.  But as Mary Chapin Carpenter sang long ago: “the more things change, the more they remain the same.”  So there.

Booked our return flights to the USA today.  I knew Delta was going to fuck me with a change fee for both tickets.  Last year it was $250 each.  This year it’s $300.  I hope the bastards use that money to by some anal lube.  Hell, they’d probably charge extra for that “service” too.

Anyway, I was able to accommodate Jee Yeun’s desire to be home for Chuseok. We fly on September 10.  Next up: a visa run sometime prior to June 11.

Contrary to the impression I might create here on the blog, I do in fact drink things other than beer.  My non-alcoholic beverage of choice is Diet Coke, or as is the case in Korea, Coke Zero.  I admit to drinking these in copious amounts, anywhere from 4-6 bottles a day. Other than the potential impact on my health and well-being my biggest problem has been keeping an adequate supply in the fridge.

I have previously ordered them online (or more accurately, Jee Yeun has done so) from HomePlus.  I currently have 60 bottles on back-order there but it is unknown when these might arrive.  I’ve been making do with buying small cans from the GS-25 store downstairs, but at W1200 a pop that is not really a viable long term option.  So this afternoon I made the hike to E-Mart.

Damn, it is warm today!  Even with a stopover at Hyundai department store for lunch I had worked up a pretty fair sweat by the time I entered the cool confines of E-Mart.  Last time I had made this journey three weeks ago or so I cleaned them out of every last bottle in stock.  I felt sure they would have resupplied by now but alas, there was nary a bottle to be found.  So in near despair I walked back to my neighborhood and visited my local grocer, the D.C Mart.  I scored the only six bottles they had on hand and can now only hope that HomePlus comes through in the next day or two.

Is there a shortage of Coke Zero in Korea or are stores just incredibly incompetent at keeping their shelves stocked with fast selling merchandise?  I don’t know and I don’t care.  I just need to have some comfort level in knowing that I’ll be able to feed my addiction.  Otherwise my Holy Grail will become Holy hell!

So, this morning I’m standing on the back balcony enjoying a cigarette (yeah, I’m bad!) and I happened to look down over at the little park/green space between the high rise apartment buildings.  And laying in the dirt next to the sidewalk was an ahjussi (older man) whom I presumed to be passed out drunk.  Which is not all that unusual to see here in Korea.  But what happened next was.

These two park workers walk up and start hosing the guy down with water.  And he didn’t even flinch!  After they thoroughly soaked him down without any reaction whatsoever, the workers walked away leaving the guy in the mud.  Now, I am standing five floors up looking down and wondering if maybe what I’m seeing is a dead ahjussi.   About this time another drunk guy stumbles over and tries to lift the wet guy up without success.  But I did see his head move a little so I was glad to know he was not in fact dead.  The second drunk then stumbled away, presumably to pass out in a drier location.

As I was contemplating what I had just witnessed I hear a female voice calling “Ahjussi!”  At first I thought it was someone in the park trying to wake the drunk, but then I heard her yell “Ahjussi!” again and I realized the sound was too close to be coming from the park.  So, I glanced down and observed my angry downstairs neighbor berating me in Korean for flicking my ashes out the window (which admittedly was incredibly rude).  I quickly let fly a string of apologetic words in both English and Korean and retreated back inside the apartment.

And that is how I found something to blog about today.

UPDATE:  It’s been over 3 hours now and the guy is still laying there in the dirt.  I’m actually a little worried about him.  I’ve seen some passerby’s stop and have a look.  There’s a guy in a wheelchair sitting next to him now.  And he moved his arm so he is alive.  I asked Jee Yeun if we should call 119 but she said no.  I guess there is no drunk in public law in Korea.  Which when I think about it is probably a good thing, otherwise a goodly portion of the folks in Itaewon would be subject to arrest most weekends.  Myself included.

FINAL UPDATE:  At the four hour mark I couldn’t stand any longer and prevailed upon Jee Yeun to notify the police.  I was surprised by how promptly they responded.  They actually called back to say that someone had called 119 on his behalf earlier and that he declined assistance.  Anyway, four cops arrived and chatted him up for awhile.  The cops then left and shortly thereafter so did he.

Comes a time
when you’re driftin’
Comes a time
when you settle down

Comes a light
feelin’s lifting
Lift that baby
right up off the ground

Oh, this old world keeps spinning round
It’s a wonder tall trees ain’t laying down

There comes a time.

Captions courtesy of Neil Young.

http://youtu.be/0qDlFBLOPfM