I took a weekend jaunt out of the country which I’ll likely get around to writing about another day.  Today’s post concerns my carrier of choice–Air Asia.

The synopsis of my review can be aptly stated as “Air Asia sucks”.  Ok, it’s my fault for booking them.  Low cost carriers are pretty notorious for their poor performance.  I should have known better, and next time I will.

At check-in I was charged W30,000 which came as a surprise, although again, that’s on me for not reading the details on the website carefully.  Lesson learned.  So I boarded a pretty full plane at Incheon and sat down in my aisle seat.  Two largish westerners had the middle and window seats.  I was immediately distressed to discover my knees were pressed firmly against the seat back in front of me.  I had visions of that passenger reclining his seat and taking out my kneecaps.

One thing good I can say about Air Asia is that they have hot and friendly flight attendants, perhaps the best of I’ve seen.  Or maybe I was just dazzled by those tight, tight red uniforms that really showed off the curves.  So just before take off one of these sexy gals comes up to me and asks would you like a blowjob are you uncomfortable?  I told her as a matter of fact I was very uncomfortable.  She smiled and said let me take you to the lavatory for some hot sex exit row where there is a vacant seat.  I thanked her for her kindness and she left me to my fantasies.

For the return flight I “upgraded” to Row 1 hoping to have more leg room.  There was a bulkhead in front of me so I couldn’t stretch them out, but no one was squashing me under a reclined seat either.  Plus, I had a front row seat for viewing the lovelies who are there primarily for our safety, but will do *almost* anything to make your flight as comfortable as possible.

Sadly, they couldn’t do anything about the passengers surrounding me.  The guy in the window seat had the most disgusting cough I can recall hearing, I mean the sound of the phlegm being hocked up for the deepest recesses of this dudes lungs was like a gurgling brook.  I literally winced every time he coughed, which was often.  I noticed the flight attendant give me a sympathetic smile, but what could she do? Meanwhile, the Korean brat behind me kept kicking my seat while his mother egged him on ignored him.

Oh, and we left over an hour late.  I was due to arrive in Seoul at 8:00 p.m., but we didn’t touch down until 9:30.  I’ve never seen the immigration line so long before (probably ought to consider coming back on Monday next time).  So, by the time I got my passport stamped, grabbed my bag, and cleared customs, it was well after 10.  Which meant I couldn’t catch the express train to Seoul Station.  The slow train got me there at 11:40.

I queued up for a taxi and got one in short order.  Unfortunately, we were on the road before I realized the driver was drunk.  Well, I wanted to get home and it was really not going to work being dropped off on the road late at night.  I had told the driver to take me to Haebangchon thinking I could manage to get close to my apartment as we passed Noksapeong station.  Instead, he took the back way but I knew that would get me close as well.  And suddenly at the top of the hill with a good mile or so to go to my destination he stops and turns on the light.  “Haebangchon” was what he slurred out at me.  I said “anio–Noksapyeong yak”.  And then he got pissed and said something about that’s not what I had said.  I got pissed back and said this isn’t where I’m going.  He then shouted “I DON’T SPEAK ENGLISH” and drove on.  Well, he got me to the kimchi pot gate a couple of blocks from my apartment, and that was good enough for me.

Walked through the door after midnight tired and hungry.  Fixed a quick salad, set my alarm for 0600, and hit the sheets.  Where I tossed and turned due to some unexplained muscle aches.  Got up for some Motrin at 1:30 and fell asleep sometime after 2:00.  When my alarm went off I was still exhausted so I had to make a groggy decision–get up and go to work and not be worth a damn all day long or go back to sleep and go in a couple of hours late.  I chose the latter, and texted my boss of course.  When I arrived at work at 9:30 they were announcing the death of Mr. Kim to the staff.  A fucked up 24 hours for sure.

I did manage to drop 3.5 pounds last week, which puts me at a 14 pound reduction in my first three weeks of diet and exercise.  I’ll take that!