…but this old man ain’t snoring (according to Swan, I don’t snore, I fart in my sleep).

It rained off and on all day yesterday and into this morning. Having something other than the heat to complain about for a change will be nice. Wet with sweat or soaked with rain, it doesn’t matter. Life goes on, and so did our Friday group hike. We kept on the pavement and did a 7K walkabout.

When the hike was over, we were standing in front of the McDonald’s in Barretto. Swan and I agreed it was a good opportunity for a “cheat day,” so we went inside. They didn’t serve the lunch items until 10:30, and my watch said it was 10:28, so we waited. And right at 10:30, the menus on the ordering kiosk (yeah, you gotta do it that way) switched to the burger items, and I proceeded to punch in my selections. Then one of the employees approached and advised that we’d have to wait another fifteen minutes to order. Fuck that, your food ain’t THAT good, so we departed. I didn’t need those unhealthy calories anyway, and when we got home, Swan prepared a nice steak and veggie lunch for me. Who needs McDonald’s?

So, with the rains comes the end of the floating bar season. Arizona is already gone, and today is the last day for Kokomo’s. They are having a send-off party that Swan and I will be attending later this afternoon. Tomorrow, the Alaska Club is celebrating its 20th anniversary, and we are also going to that. So, I had to rearrange my routines, and I did the Hideaway feeding yesterday.

With my Hideaway mission accomplished, I crossed the highway and met up with Swan at John’s place for dinner.

After our meal, we proceeded up the highway and made Red Bar our next stop.

When it was time to move on for our nightcap, I thought Cheap Charlies would be a nice option. The waitress brought me my Zero beer and Swan thought she heard her say that they had sent someone to get her wine. They’ve done that before and I appreciate the gesture.

So, when I finished my beer, there was still no wine. When the waitress returned, she claimed she had told us no wine was available. Alright, fine. We’ll take our business elsewhere. I was almost out the door when I realized I’d left my umbrella. When I returned to fetch it, the bartender said something to Swan in Tagalog. Swan didn’t look happy when we were back outside, and I asked what happened. Swan said the bartender told her that I was stupid for getting angry at her. First of all, I wasn’t angry at the employees of Cheap Charlies. Yes, I think it is lame for a bar to not keep an inexpensive bottle of wine in stock (or get one across the street if need be), but that’s on the management, not the worker bees. I’m not the regular at CCs I used to be, but during my last visit just over a week ago, I bought the staff dinner from Foodies downstairs and plied them with the usual cookies and lollipops. Why would you call a customer like me stupid? Hmm, maybe I just answered my own question. Needless to say, I won’t be back. Who needs Cheap Charlies?

It had been a long time since my last visit to Hot Zone, and now seemed like a good time to rectify that. There were a few other customers when we arrived, and the owner, Jay, directed us to a table where he was sitting. It was nice to visit with the former Grandmaster of the Subic Bay Hash again. I complimented him on his crew of dancers, who were by far the healthiest-looking (meaning not fat) I’ve seen in town. I did my 50 pesos each thing for all the girls, waitresses included (stupid is as stupid does), and dispensed the cookies and lollipops that were intended for that bar that can’t be bothered to keep wine in stock. I’d forgotten how nice Hot Zone is as a hangout. If they opened earlier than 7 p.m. I’d probably visit more often.

Triked home after the Hot Zone experience and whipped up a batch of sugar-free vanilla pudding for my bedtime treat. And so ended another night out in Barretto.

Friday report card: 18,670 steps, 14.36 kilometers walked, 3,552 calories burned.

It’s April 2009 in my journey through the LTG archives. I wrote about a road trip I made to Korea’s east coast at Naksan. I was happy to see that all the photos from that trip are still up and viewable. I think losing the old domain is what caused the loss of pictures on those older posts.

From Facebook memories:

Twelve years ago, I shared this hilarious clip, “What kind of Asian are you?” Still funny after all these years:

And today’s YouTube video is about those damn foreigners who constantly complain about the Philippines. Yeah, I bitch here about the things I dislike the most, like litter, noise, and insane drivers. But what I don’t do is harangue the locals about it. If I did, they’d be right to tell me to go back to my own country if I don’t like it here.

Oh, and sorry I forgot to post yesterday’s YouTube until a commenter let me know about my brain fart. It’s up now.

Today’s Zen thought:

 I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.

And the daily dose of humor:

And that’s all for now. Still raining outside, which doesn’t bode well for the Kokomo’s Floating Bar send off, but we’ll head out there for a look anyway. Tell you all bout it tomorrow.

When was the last time you listened to Blue Öyster Cult? Damned if I could remember until I came across this one in my Facebook memories:

And everything in between.

I asked Swan where she wanted to hike, and she told me Baloy Beach. I didn’t have any better ideas, so I figured it was as good as anywhere to start. Of course, even though the official name is Baloy LONG Beach, it’s less than a kilometer in length. So, I thought it would be nice to do the beach walk, take a boat ride across the river, then continue our hike on the streets of Matain and Calapacuan. We did just that, but we encountered some surprises along the way.

We arrived back at the house just in time to accept a long-awaited delivery from Lazada.

When the time arrived to head into town, we started our fun at the Outback Resort.

When we were ready to eat, we walked up the beach to Mango’s.

I had a “buy one, get one” coupon due to expire, and since we were on this side of town, we stopped into the seldom-visited Queen Victoria bar. Back in the day, I was a semi-regular here. It was a dart league venue and a place to stop on the way home. They still have the dart boards up, but they aren’t playable (tables in the way now). The pool table is still there and was seeing some action last night. But the big change in the vibe was erecting a dance stage.

Queen Vic has a big room in the back where live music is performed. Probably the best place in town to see the bar bands. The music doesn’t start until nine p.m., and that’s my bedtime, so you won’t find me there.

I paid for two Zeros and drank four, so my mission was a success, and we headed home.

Thursday’s report card: 19,116 steps, 14.71 kilometers walked, 3,664 calories burned.

In my final post from March 2009, I answered the challenge to list ten things I liked about Korea. I still miss that life.

Today’s YouTube video features a vlogger I’ve watched before talking about his purchase of an abandoned house in a Filipino neighborhood. Sometimes on my walks, I fantasize about what it would be like to live amongst the locals, Filipino-style. Some mountain dwellers don’t have electricity or running water, which would not work for me. But this guy has a small place that, with some work, will be more than comfortable. He said the neighbors are friendly and he’s happy with his decision to make the move. Good for him, but I probably don’t have the balls to willingly give up my creature comforts.

Time for a moment of Zen:

The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets The
Cheese.

And some things you may or may not enjoy:

And that’s all I’ve got to say today about yesterday.

It’s nice how the same old, same old can be made to feel new again with just a tweak or two. Yesterday was a good example of that. Yeah, I did the group hike with the Wednesday Walkers and later in the day had dinner and drinks in Barretto as usual, but it was different enough to seem fresh. So, I report, you decide:

We’ll start with the walk. Only four of us turned out for the trek, and as we discussed where we might go, I realized I wanted to go somewhere I hadn’t been for a while. The problem is that without our trail master Scott along, it’s hard to have confidence that we’ll be able to find our way in unfamiliar territory. Sometimes you just gotta roll the dice and hope for the best. On the other side of Subic town is a subdivision named St. Theodore. I only recall walking through there twice in all the time I’ve lived here, and it has been two or three years since the last time. I vaguely remembered that on the development’s backside was a trail going up and over the hills. Could I find it again, and if so, would I know where it would take us? Only one way to find out. We loaded into a passing Jeepney and took the long ride to the St. Theodore entrance.

We spotted a trail heading up to the hills, and it looked vaguely familiar. As we began the climb, we came to a junction and were unsure which path to take. We spotted an older local walking our way, and Swan used her Tagalog skills to ask him how we should proceed. The man responded that the path we were on did not continue beyond his shanty. What about the other one? He shook his head and claimed it was also a dead end. Hmm, I was sure we’d been up this way before, and I suspected he just didn’t want us passing through the land he was likely squatting on. So, we turned back to the junction and took the path that allegedly led to nowhere. Well, it did lead to another shack, and the woman living there told us to stay on the trail, and it would lead over the hill and down to the other side. We rewarded her kindness with a bag of cookies, and she seemed pleasantly surprised.

Did we walk 10K on yesterday’s hike?

Anyway, it was a good hike; some new, some familiar, but done in a different manner and direction. And the fun had just begun! I enjoy my nights on the town, but sometimes crave new venues. That’s why I’ve designated Wednesday as my “seldom visited bars” night. There’s a place in Barretto I almost never go to, and it had been so long that I couldn’t remember why. So, I told Swan she was in for a surprise. She kept asking as we made our way into town, so I finally told her we were going to the only topless bar in Barretto.

We very much enjoyed our visit and meal at Central Park Reef and agreed that we will try to come here more often.

Next stop was our old favorite, the Green Room. I had a “buy one, take one” coupon to use.

We did our nightcap next door at Wet Spot, then headed home at the appointed hour (8 p.m.) And so ended yet another day in paradise, this one with a twist or two.

Wednesday’s report card: 21,582 steps, 16.6 kilometers walked, 3,982 calories burned.

Today’s LTG archive find was a post from March 2009 where I provided my insights regarding Korean women. At the time, I found them to be the most attractive women in Asia. Since then, my heart has warmed to the Filipina look and attitude. Your mileage may vary.

Today’s YouTube video is from that sweet Smart Girl Philippines, and she explains in her unique fashion why Filipinas reject feminism. Hard to argue with her logic. See for yourself:

Today’s Zen moment:

Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.

Humor me this:

And we’ll leave it at that for today.

Here dead we lie
Because we did not choose
To live and shame the land
From which we sprung.
Life, to be sure,
Is nothing much to lose,
But young men think it is,
And we were young.
–Alfred Edward Housman

And here’s what I remember about the Angeles City anniversary Hash yesterday. Sign-ups went as scheduled at the designated location. Our Hash fees included a Hash shirt.

We loaded into three Jeepneys and departed for the start of the Hash trail, a thirty-minute ride away. When we arrived, the Hare advised there were two trail options: Long (six kilometers with four hills) and short (four kilometers with two hills). And with that, we were off. It was a hot day, with little shade on the trail. Early on, we encountered a helicopter taking off. That was something different to see, but it was very loud. I guess they were practicing takeoffs and landings, because the chopper kept circling overhead. The noise got to be a bothersome distraction from the otherwise serene countryside. The hill climbs were short but very steep. But the coming down was insanely steep and slippery. There was no option for most of us than to take a seat on our ass and slide down. I didn’t like that one bit. Otherwise, the trail was well-marked and enjoyable. The Hash Circle was held under a highway overpass. I hadn’t had the foresight to bring along my foldable chair, but the Hare kindly lent me one, which was much appreciated. It seemed like a very long wait for the Circle to begin, and once it did, it seemed to go on for an excruciatingly long and tedious time. My mind began to wander, and for some reason, I thought of my softball playing days. Looking back at those happy times, I wondered if I had truly appreciated that special period of my life. And a light went off in my head (however dim it was), and I realized I ought to be enjoying these Hash moments while I still have them. That perked me up a bit, and the circle became more enjoyable.

Swan made a video with highlights from the hike and the Hash Circle.

Once the Jeepneys dropped us off, I was hungry. My favorite Angeles restaurant is Tequila Reef, but it was on the other side of town. And then I spotted a trike sitting there waiting for a passenger, so Swan and I jumped aboard.

And then it was time to call it a night. My driver arrived on time for our 8 a.m. pick-up, and we arrived home safe and sound.

Sunday’s report card: 14,176 steps, 10.9 kilometers walked, 3515 calories burned. (I did look it up, and “the number you see on your Fitbit device is your total calories burned for the day.”

In January 2009, I posted about the fourth-year anniversary of my arrival in Korea. The transition from my American life was pretty much complete and there was no going back.

In today’s YouTube video, Reekay poses the question of whether expat life is paradise or purgatory. My response would be “both.” I mean, I call my life here in the PI “paradise,” but sometimes it feels like a stop along the way to somewhere else. I’m hoping it’s that do-over life I’ve been dreaming of. I’ll get it right next time, promise!

Time for a smile or three:

Another day, another Hash. It’s a Vienna Sausage trail today, so I’ll need to find a workaround. I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.

Well, by my low standards, yesterday’s 10K group hike was practically a marathon. And did I mention it was hot? I had suggested two options for the group: a hike up Kalaklan or a flat valley walk. When two Jeepneys passed by completely full, I changed my vote to the valley, and off we went. En route, I opted to forego the typical circumnavigation of the valley and instead took a seldom-used trail that led to a Govic Highway rendezvous. It was a nice hike, but wound up being longer than I remembered. Oh well, it is all part of the adventure.

The other “big” event in my day was attending the SOB dance competition at Wet Spot. A couple of good performances, with Wet Spot taking home top honors. It was good to see Daddy Dave in attendance again.

As usual, I drank my money’s worth (750 entrance fee, free drinks from 6-8 p.m.) and I’d had my fill by the end of the show. A trike ride home, some dessert, and then off to bed.

Friday’s report card: 22,055 steps. 16.96 kilometers. 3937 calories burned.

A couple of memes I saw took me back to those crazy times in the 1970s:

Of course, we are still living in crazy times, I just don’t have any drugs to ease the pain these days.

Welp, I made it to January 2009 in the LTG archives, and it seems I’m posting with more regularity. The posts are taking on that “day in life” quality that I rely on now. Here’s a blissful recounting of my ignorance one day.

A sad memory from nine years ago–the passing of one of the most unique individuals I’ve encountered in this life, and I was blessed to call a friend, Bridget Werner.

I was surprised to come across a YouTube video featuring someone I actually know–Matt, the owner of the Mope Resort in San Narciso, where I frequently stay. Last year, he was involved in a motorcycle accident that resulted in the loss of a leg. We had a chance to sit and chat during a recent visit to Mope. I was so impressed with his positive outlook and attitude. An avid surfer (that’s why he opened his beach resort), he was looking forward to getting his artificial limb and riding the waves again. Indeed, you can’t keep a good man down. We’ll be back to see you soon, Matt!

Today’s Zen moment:

I Feel Like I’m Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe.

And the humor:

And with that, I’m done. Time to finish preparing for my weekend in Angeles City. I’ll be participating in some events associated with the AC Hash anniversary, including tomorrow’s trail. I will head back to Barretto on Monday morning, and hopefully, I will arrive in time for our Hash trail. I’ll make sure to update you tomorrow.

Nothing changes much with me, for better or worse. Since I ain’t complaining, I’ll just take each day as it comes, filling up those hours, however comfortably and well. For example, this was my yesterday:

Kicked things off with the Wednesday Walkers group hike, a pleasant 6K jaunt through the hills above Barretto. We finished up at The Rite Spot for some food and cold beverages.

Swan wanted a “me night” to visit some friends, so I had Barretto to myself. I kicked things off at Annex Bar and saw a couple of folks I know there to chat with for a bit. Then I did the Cheap Charlies thing, and to prove that I’m not a cheap Charlie despite my refusal to buy overpriced lady drinks, I ordered some food for the girls and wings for me.

I went to the Green Room after sundown, then finished my evening at Wet Spot.

Things can always be worse, as this post from October 2008 reminded me. My first overnight stay in a hospital since my birth was a decidedly unpleasant experience. You can read all about it here.

As I review my Facebook memories daily, I can’t help but notice the Groundhog Day quality of my life.

Coincidentally, I came across this YouTube video that says Korea is the saddest nation in the world. I had my moments of depression when I lived there, but that was on me, not the country. If things had gone according to plan, I’d still be living there half the time.

Time for a moment of Zen:

42.7% Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The Spot.

And the humor:

And that’s all I’ve got for yesterday.

…to post about the nothingness of yesterday before getting on with today’s meaninglessness. Don’t worry, I’ll make it as short and painless as possible. Promise!

Grocery shopping in the morning went without incident. I decided to walk the highway home, and I survived. Here are some photos of what I saw along the way:

Tuesday afternoon is our Baloy Beach time.

So, the highlights of the Baloy excursion were chatting with Kokomo’s owner, Steve, and later, Treasure Island’s owner, Bret. Bret shared photos of the work taking place at Sloppy Joe’s, and I’m looking forward to visiting when it reopens.

That brings you up-to-date on my so-called life.

I don’t know what was going on with me in the summer of 2008. I had two one-line posts in July, one photo posted in August, and only one post in September, aptly titled “This post’s for you!” I wrote that one from Washington, DC, where I was attending work-related meetings. I mention having just returned from a twelve-day trip in the Philippines, where I had been sick half the time (that used to happen to me a lot as a tourist, I think I eventually learned not to brush my teeth with the tap water). So, I promised to post more regularly, but nothing else was posted in October. Reading the comments from my disappointed (former readers) was both sad and amusing. But this one is worthy of quoting in full here:

or not check back would seem to be the appropriate choice, I’m thinkin at this point….!?!

u would appear, at bottom, to be just another narcissistic dude with a fairly serious drinking problem, seems pretty sure. to actually suggest that ur too busy to check in for an occasional post is both ridiculous and absurd – surely you’ve set aside spare time daily to find a bottle or five to suck on, good money bet on that. makes one wonder what your whole purpose was with this blog thing…..? and just maybe is a clue to your ability to finish or otherwise stick to things you’ve started in life…… and before you knee-jerk some response, you should maybe just check six and think about it…… most of your stuff is just innane foolishness anyway…… an idle curiosity at best.

Browser

I wonder what he would say now that I blog every day? Somehow, methinks he still wouldn’t appreciate it.

In today’s YouTube video, Reekay expounds on what it takes to have a great expat experience. I certainly wouldn’t want to try living on $1200 a month here, but I’d probably be okay with $2500. I’m blessed to bring home twice that much, so I live large and try to share the blessings with those less fortunate around me.

Today’s moment of Zen:

 I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Wasn’t Familiar Territory.

And humor me these:

And so it went.

And feelin’ groovy. I guess that term is far out these days, but it is still out of sight to recall all those cool things we said back in the glory days. Here’s how the day went in my golden years:

It being Sunday, we kicked off the morning with our regularly scheduled Candy Walk. Mostly the same old, same old, so I ain’t gonna bore you with photos of things you’ve seen before. One difference yesterday was that next door neighbors, Martin and Joss, joined us and seemed to enjoy the experience. They are devoted walkers, so I felt ashamed to finish the walk where we usually do at the 5K mark. Instead, we continued on all the way back to Alta Vista.

This week I videoed Section 10 of the walk. Five minutes of sweetness for you to enjoy.

Next on the Sunday agenda is the Hideaway feeding.

Then I moved onto the beach.

As usual, I connected to the Bluetooth music box and enjoyed songs from one of my Spotify playlists. Until the battery on the box gave out, and no one could find the charger cord. I didn’t get pissed or anything, but it seemed like none of the staff gave a shit, they were too busy playing cards. We decided to forego the sunset and left early for some dinner at John’s place.

I was feeling in a Mexican mood, so I ordered the enchiladas.

We were enjoying our visit to Red Bar and the friendly service so much that we elected not to move on to a different nightcap venue. And then the power went out for some reason. We were sitting in the outside area so it didn’t really matter, except for losing the breeze from the fans. We finished our drinks, paid the tab, and headed for home.

It’s good to be alive.

For some reason, I wasn’t feeling so upbeat on the last day of May in 2008. It may have been that three years of the Itaewon lifestyle were getting to me. I don’t mention it in that post, but I expect I may have been having some love life issues as well. Of course, the worst was yet to come!

Today’s YouTube vlogger tackles the question of why we call ourselves “expats” instead of immigrants. I think the answer is pretty straightforward: if we are not here seeking a path to citizenship, we are just expatriates living life away from our homeland. I would never relinquish my American birthright, even though I have no intention ever to return there to live.

Today’s moment of Zen:

A Day Without Sunshine is Like, Night.

Damn, two lame ones in a row. Why am I doing this? (Don’t blame me for the grammatical errors in these, I stole them from somewhere and I’m just quoting what I found.)

Maybe bad Zen jokes will make these seem funnier:

Alright, I’m done. Hash Monday has arrived, and I have no clue what today’s trail will bring. Given that we are starting at the far end of Barretto and finishing on Baloy Beach, I’m expecting a climb to the ridgeline is in my near future. We’ll see how I feel about it when I get there.

Well, technically, it wasn’t a park; it was the JJB Aquafarm Resort. But it had a park-like vibe about it. I don’t recall ever spending the day at a place like this, so it had the advantage of being something different. Hell, I even did some swimming in the pool, something I hadn’t done in many years. My back floating needs a little practice, but the sidestroke still works. And I didn’t drown, so there’s that.

We rode with neighbor Martin and departed a little after eight a.m. It made for a LONG day. We had our own covered area to enjoy the ambiance of the facilities. As the day progressed, the resort filled up with Filipinos having family gatherings. Our group had the only foreigners around, and I noticed some of the other guests staring in surprise at our presence, but not in an unfriendly way. We were there at the invitation of my other neighbors, Jeff and Davina, as they celebrated their son’s birthday. It was an all-day event, and when my normal naptime rolled around, I was feeling the need. Of course, that wasn’t an option, so I toughed it out until we finally departed at four p.m. I didn’t open my first beer until eleven and paced myself to ensure I wouldn’t overindulge. It was good hanging out with friends in a different environment, although once in a while is plenty for me.

We got home just before five p.m. and I was feeling bushed. I decided it was too late for a nap and too early for bed, so I headed up to The Rite Spot to chill for a while.

Back downstairs, I fired up the TV and tried to watch some Netflix, but realized my diminished attention span is exacerbated by fatigue. So, I gave up, played around on the laptop some, then said, “fuck it” and went to bed.

But I woke up alive, so there’s that. Oh, and here’s a video that Swan took of me crossing that log bridge on Friday. Seventeen seconds of me defying death!

When I read some of the insanity my lefty friends post on Facebook, all I can do is shake my head and say, WTF? And now I need to get my autocorrect to spell it out:

I liked this too:

As my trek through the LTG archives reminds me, May 2008 had me in stitches. Yep, another blackout incident, another fall to the floor, and a cut on the head. But this time, I also somehow sliced the skin from my pinky finger. Looking back, these incidents were preceded by my standing up, coughing, and then passing out. Although they both occurred in bars, overindulgence wasn’t the cause (happened early evening in the days when I was an all-nighter) so I expect these were the early signs of the damage my smoking was doing to my lungs (I was a a two pack a day guy back then). Yeah, I’m lucky to be alive, thank god for those Irish genes. Anyway, here’s the post about the incident, and here’s the one about visiting the doctor the following day, and finally, the post about my skin graft surgery.

Today’s YouTube video is from an Angeles City vlogger’s visit to Barretto. No substance, just some scenes from around my little town. Well, he did get hit by a car on the National Highway, but that goes with the territory.

Starting today, before the humor, we will pause for a moment of Zen. Today’s entry:

Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.

(Sorry about that. Another one of my old posts had fifty of these. Some are better than others, but you’ve been warned.)

And that’s the story of how it all went down yesterday. Now it is time to get on with today’s edition of this life I’m living.

A quick post this morning before we roll out of town with the neighbors for a birthday gathering at a resort in Castillejos I’ve never been to before. Sounds almost adventurous, don’t it? I guess I’m fixin’ to find out!

Another good Friday in the life yesterday, starting with a group hike to the Subic Hills area. I suggested we venture out that way, mostly because it had been a long time since my last visit, and I knew it would feel almost new again. Familiar enough where we didn’t get lost, but we all enjoyed being on ground we hadn’t trod in a while. Our journey coincidentally ended in Castillejos, and it will be interesting to see if today’s destination is near where we were.

Here is a video of the others crossing.

When beer o’clock rolled around, we began our journey at the seldom-visited dart venue, Alley Hideout. Got to chat with some of my old darting pals before the Friday tourney began. Then we crossed the highway and enjoyed beverages and beach views at the Outback Resort.

Some shots of Barretto Beach:

Next up was dinner at Mango’s.

We had our usual grilled pork chops platter. Sorry, I was a little late with the camera.

We did our nightcap at Cloud 69. We were the only customers, but we enjoyed the laid-back vibe and good music.

That’s why I tip the Alaska dancers when I visit, they are always up on stage and at least making an effort to appear to be dancing. These gals didn’t earn anything from me this time.

Anyway, that’s how another day in the life came to an end. Now to get on with this day. But before I go:

This cryptic post from May 2008 entitled “Disconnected” made me wonder what the hell was going on in my life back then. It also got me thinking about how disconnected my current life seems to be. And then, as now, if friends and family choose to turn their backs and walk away, so be it.

In an odd twist, these Facebook memories serve to show that anything worth doing is worth doing again.

For today’s YouTube video, we check in with Reekay as he discusses the phenomenon of mothers without children, which is so prevalent in the Philippines. I probably missed out on some good women because I didn’t want to raise someone else’s kids. Childless Swan proved to be worth waiting for.

Humor time:

Okay, time for me to roll on outta here.

I asked Swan if she wanted to do a hike yesterday. She responded affirmatively, so I asked, where do you want to go? “Kalaklan Ridge. I miss those views.” Damn, so I plotted which way to the top. The easiest was a Jeepney ride out of town and going up to the ridge from Lower Kalaklan. But then I changed my mind and decided to go up from Abra Street in Barretto: a little harder climb, but a shorter walk to the viewpoint from there. And we were off.

Take a minute and look around, I’ll wait.

Our Thursday on the town began with some liquid refreshment at BarCelona.

We moved on to dinner at Sit-n-Bull next and ran into our neighbors, Martin and Joss, so we all dined together. We’ll join them, along with my other neighbors, for an outing to a resort in Castillejos tomorrow.

We finished our evening at The Green Room, and I was pleased to see Daddy Dave back in town. I told him he must be the luckiest SOB around. He agreed and said, also, the unluckiest. Welp, I hope I’m going as strong as he is in my 80s.

In other news, I am again wearing a Fitbit after a more than two-week hiatus. As usual, Lazada keeps things challenging. I got a refund for the false delivery (microphones instead of the smartwatch I ordered), so I ordered a Fitbit from a different supplier. It never got delivered, and Lazada emailed saying the order was cancelled. I then ordered another Fitbit through a third supplier. Yesterday, it arrived.

In April 2008, I wrote about my first-ever visit to the Philippines the month before. Yeah, I was very sporadic with my posts back then, none of this everyday bullshit my readers have to endure these days. Sadly, almost none of the photos I posted survived the transition to my current server/domain. Well, nothing I can do about that. At least, not that I know of.

Today’s YouTube video from Smart Girl Philippines tells about the nine types of men she will not sleep with. Alas, I didn’t make the cut. Watch and see if you are her type.

And here we go again:

There you have it, another day, another post. I guess this is my penance (or your punishment) for all those times I’d go days or weeks without posting back in my glory days.

And I can, so I did!

A nice outing with the Wednesday Walkers, although there was a misunderstanding along the way. I understood the group was going to do the Black Rock climb, and I agreed to join in. The rest of the group thought I was going to do my usual walk around and meet them at the bottom. So, when Swan and I reached the top of Black Rock, no one was there. It turns out the others decided not to do the climb and took an alternative trail. Since they thought I wasn’t coming, they didn’t bother to let me know. Anyway, it all worked out. Once we got back down, the rest of the group was waiting there for us.

Here’s a one-minute video clip of the view from on high.

Swan wanted to spend the evening with some friends, so I was on my own with only Zero to keep me company. Well, I was surrounded by bar girls, but these days I am always on my best behavior.

I bought the It Doesn’t Matter crew some chicken fingers to share, and handed out cookies and lollipops for dessert. The only lady drink was for my server. Next stop was Alaska Club to expend my “buy one, get one” coupon. I bought an order of Shanghai Lumpia from Sit-n-Bull to go with the cookies and suckers. As usual, the dancers (eight of them last night) got a 50 peso tip from the “big spending” expat. It ain’t much, but every little bit helps and seems to be appreciated.

I decided to make the seldom-visited Whiskey Girl the final stop of my night on the town. The primary motivation was another SOB coupon: “buy a lady drink, get TWO local drinks.” My waitress friend Kim was to be the recipient of the lady drink, but she returned and told me the bartender said it had to be a double lady drink. Bullshit, it doesn’t say that on the coupon. So, I called the manager over, showed him the coupon, and he agreed that a double was not required. An angry outburst was avoided, Kim got her SINGLE lady drink (although I did buy her another before leaving), and I received my two free beers. I messaged Swan to let her know where I was and told her to stop in on her way home if she wanted. She did, and my lonely night ended on a happy note.

Having a “me night” now and then is okay. It reminds me of the emptiness of my previous single life and thus makes me appreciate what I have now all the more. Good motivation to not fuck things up again as I near the end stage of my life. It’s kind of sweet having all the bar girls asking what happened to Swan. I guess that’s confirmation that I am truly out of the game.

Okay, Brian, this one is for you:

At least we are done with lyin’ Biden.

In March 2008, I wrote a post in honor of my son’s 30th birthday. I offered the fatherly advice to not be like me and learn from my mistakes. He has ghosted me now, so maybe that works best for him. It hurts, but people do what they will.

From Facebook memories:

And I was still posting bad jokes on Facebook, like this one:

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.

That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night.

She looked at her husband and said, “Honey, do you remember this?”

He looked up at her and said, “Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married.”

She said, “That’s right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?”

He nodded and said, “Yes dear, I still remember.”

“Well, what was it?” she asked.

He responded, “As I remember, I said, ‘Oh baby, I’m going to suck the life out of those big boobs and screw your brains out.’ “

She giggled and said, “Yes honey, that’s exactly what you said. So, now it’s 50 years later, and I’m in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?”

Again he looked up at her, and he replied, “Mission accomplished.”

Today’s YouTube video is an update on the insane vlogger Vitaly. Apparently, he is not doing well in a Filipino jail. That’s not surprising. But his jailers are not allowing outside food to be delivered to him, which is probably the only way I’d be able to survive confinement in that hellhole. It seems there is so much hatred for him that the jail fears the food donated for him might be poisoned. He’s fucked, that’s for sure.

Humor time:

And that’s it for that, this time. Thanks for coming by.

Shopping day started at the YBC supermarket in Olongapo City.

Got the rest of the weekly goods at Royal, then headed home without a flat tire this week.

When it was time to head for the beach, there was an ominous rumbling coming from the sky. That did not deter us from our quest.

The power went out for a while, but that’s no big deal on an open-air floating bar. Well, except for the lack of music. I felt sorry for the girls and the dearth of big spenders who could fulfill their drink commission dreams. Lady drinks are 200 pesos each, which is the top of my limit. There were five gals working, so I called one over and asked her which she preferred, a lady drink (80 peso commission) or a 100 peso tip. She didn’t hesitate to respond, “The tip, please!” The only one wanting the drink was the bartender. So, I spent 600 instead of the 1000 I was prepared to sacrifice. Everybody’s a winner!

Next stop, Treasure Island.

Then we rolled on home and called it a night. Not quite as boring as this post makes it seem, but that’s my way of living these days.

Meanwhile, back in the USA, things are getting a little insurrectiony:

Glad I’m safe in the Philippines! Then again, I don’t violate the immigration laws here.

Today’s journey through the February 2008 LTG archives brought me to a post I know I’ve linked to several times over the years, a tribute to my friend and soulmate, Linda Ketner. Truly one of the most amazing people I’ve had the pleasure to encounter in The Story of My Life. (The comment from “John Henry” was my mother’s. She used to call me that.)

Yesterday’s old joke was a big hit, so here’s another one from twelve years ago:

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.” I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!

Still funny after all these years. No matter how many times you’ve heard it before. Right?

Today’s YouTube video reminds us of that old saw, “No money, no honey.” It’s not wise to be broke anywhere, but being poor as an expat in a poor country is not a wise choice. I’ve been blessed, and I share those blessings where and when I can, but there are limits to my generosity and early in my life here I learned that people will see you as a sucker until you learn to say no.

You know what comes next:

Okay, my duty here is done for today. If you want something of substance, head on over to The Big Hominid and read his review of the Dylan biopic, “A Complete Unknown.” I have always been a fan of Dylan, but I also enjoyed the music of his one-time girlfriend, Joan Baez. In his review, Kevin mentions a song that Baez wrote about her relationship with Dylan. I believe it is one of my favorites, “Diamonds and Rust.”

Well I'll be damned
Here comes your ghost again
But that's not unusual
It's just that the moon is full
And you happened to call
And here I sit
Hand on the telephone
Hearing a voice I'd known
A couple of light years ago
Heading straight for a fall

As I remember your eyes
Were bluer than robin's eggs
My poetry was lousy you said
Where are you calling from?
A booth in the midwest
Ten years ago
I bought you some cufflinks
You brought me something
We both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust

Well you burst on the scene
Already a legend
The unwashed phenomenon
The original vagabond
You strayed into my arms
And there you stayed
Temporarily lost at sea
The Madonna was yours for free
Yes the girl on the half-shell
Would keep you unharmed

Now I see you standing
With brown leaves falling around
And snow in your hair
Now you're smiling out the window
Of that crummy hotel
Over Washington Square
Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there

Now you're telling me
You're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague
Because I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid

I kicked off my eighth year in the Philippines with a night out on my own, just like my first night as a resident back in 2018. Of course, I do have a girlfriend these days, but she was spending election eve with family. I missed her but also embraced the rare opportunity for some “me time.” I enjoyed revisiting the old perspectives, if only to reinforce the reality that I am much happier in my current circumstances. Granted, I’m still a man and sometimes my mind wanders to those days when variety was the spice of life, but then I remember how empty and meaningless those “relationships” truly were. So, despite my past history I don’t believe I’m in any danger of fucking up the good thing I have found.

As I began my bar journey, I was a little surprised at just how many bars were closed. Some are never open on Sunday, and others shut down to avoid any conflicts with the law that prohibits Filipinos from consuming alcohol during the 48-hour election window. I intended to see the old crew at the Snack Bar to kick things off, but they were closed. I made my way up the highway to It Doesn’t Matter, but they weren’t serving in the outdoor area I prefer. So, I went to one of the bars I used to visit regularly, Cheap Charlies.

Upon arrival, Aida, the long-time bartender at CC, warmly greeted me. She’s the only one of my old regulars still working there. We chatted for a bit, and of course, I sensed the expectation that I would buy her a drink. I have no problem with that, except as I learned on my previous visit, Cheap Charlies raised the lady drink price to 250 pesos, which exceeds the max of 200 that I’m willing to pay. As I explained to her, it is not about the money as much as it is about feeling like I’m being scammed. A single lady drink is 180 pesos or less in almost all other bars. I have no qualms with buying two at that price, but I won’t buy one if it is more than 200. That’s just me, and Aida said she understood.

A couple of beers in, my resolve began to weaken. It was Mother’s Day, and I assumed the gals working were likely mothers. There were only four there, so what’s a thousand pesos to spread some joy? I called Aida over and asked her what the girls preferred, a lady drink or some food? She consulted with her co-workers and came back with a menu. I told them to order what they wanted, which came to 930 pesos. I tipped the Foodies waitress the change. So, I got in a Sunday feeding after all, and I was happier buying dinner than overpriced lady drinks. Win, win!

I didn’t partake in the eating, but enjoyed sipping my beer and taking in the view.

Before heading home, I crossed the highway and stopped in at the Green Room (that yellow building in the photo above). I did the usual lady drinks and watched some pool while waiting for my takeout order from Sit-n-Bull to arrive (pulled pork and cole slaw). Swan still wasn’t home when I arrived, so I ate my food and went to bed without her.

We did the usual Candy Walk in the morning, but I won’t bore you with the details of that weekly story again.

Here’s a video clip of Section 9 of our walk:

I woke up this morning, looked out the window, and this is what I saw:

Here’s a closer look:

And before I finished my coffee, it looked like this:

The zoom view:

I’ll settle for fifteen more healthy years of this life in the Philippines.

Speaking of which, this post of mine from January 2008 might explain why I’m such an energetic old man. Spoiler alert: it’s something in the beer!

Facebook memories brought back the poem “Somebody’s Mother” I posted thirteen years ago:

 The woman was old and ragged and gray
        And bent with the chill of the Winter's day.
        
The street was wet with a recent snow
        And the woman's feet were aged and slow.
       
 She stood at the crossing and waited long,
        Alone, uncared for, amid the throng
        
Of human beings who passed her by
        Nor heeded the glance of her anxious eyes.
        
Down the street, with laughter and shout,
        Glad in the freedom of "school let out,"
       
Came the boys like a flock of sheep,
        Hailing the snow piled white and deep.
        
Past the woman so old and gray
        Hastened the children on their way.
        
Nor offered a helping hand to her -
        So meek, so timid, afraid to stir
        
Lest the carriage wheels or the horses' feet
        Should crowd her down in the slippery street.
        
At last came one of the merry troop,
        The gayest laddie of all the group;
        
He paused beside her and whispered low,
        "I'll help you cross, if you wish to go."
        
Her aged hand on his strong young arm
        She placed, and so, without hurt or harm,
        
He guided the trembling feet along,
        Proud that his own were firm and strong.
        
Then back again to his friends he went,
        His young heart happy and well content.
        
"She's somebody's mother, boys, you know,
        For all she's aged and poor and slow,
        
"And I hope some fellow will lend a hand
        To help my mother, you understand,
        
"If ever she's poor and old and gray,
        When her own dear boy is far away."
        
And "somebody's mother" bowed low her head
        In her home that night, and the prayer she said
        
Was "God be kind to the noble boy,
        Who is somebody's son, and pride and joy!"

  - Mary Dow Brine (1816-1913)

We’ll lighten things up a bit with today’s YouTube video from Mikey Bustos. It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of his parodies.

Now that we are in the mood, here’s some more:

Hash Monday is upon me. Leech My Nuggets is the Hare, which translates to “I’ll be shortcutting again.” Hey, it’s what I do, and I’m good at it!