Alright, here’s a post that I promise will be as boring as my life. And don’t give me that “what else is new” bullshit. This time I really, really mean it!
As expected, the President has extended the enhanced quarantine provisions for all of Luzon through April 30. So it’s going to be more of the same for me around here for a while yet. Unfortunately, more of the same is a whole different animal for the less fortunate. I got a frantic message from a bargirl acquaintance this afternoon lamenting about her inability to feed her daughter. I asked about whether the barangay was providing some provisions and she said yes–a little rice, some ramen, and three cans of sardines. She said her daughter started crying when she saw her cooking sardine pasta again. Well, this woman lives next door in the squatter village outside my subdivision so I told her I would meet her at the gate with some Spam and tuna. I also threw in some cookies and candy for the kid. I gave her 1000 pesos ($20) and told her to go buy food her daughter likes at Divimart. I’m always glad to help out when I can and who knows, maybe I’ll pay off some of that Karmic debt that keeps sabotaging my love life. Hey, it could happen!
This morning I took a long two-hour hike out to the old Navy base and back. Stuck to the highway and it was almost pleasant with the reduced amount of traffic.
Staring death in the face at the hillside cemetery I passed. Life is for the living and so are the views.
I am getting more cautious when I’m out walking alone, that’s why I stuck to the highway. I did get besieged by one man saying he was hungry and needed money. I shrugged and kept walking. I know better than to pull out my wallet on the street. Yesterday afternoon I decided to just stay within the confines of my subdivision for my walk. To make it a little more interesting I was determined to document all the points of access and egress. And here they are (hey, I warned you this would be boring!):
Alright, to begin, Alta Vista is a gated community. And this would be that gate. It’s the only road in and out by vehicle anyway. The subdivision is not fenced, however. And that means people on foot can pretty much come and go as they please.So, this was one of the ways I would occasionally enter or exit Alta Vista on my hikes. Not too often and apparently not anymore as someone has erected this makeshift barrier. I’m not sure who or why. I did look to see how easy it might be to bypass and it appears to be a no go.It may look like just a bunch of sticks, but damn, get a load of those thorns. I’d rather be stuck in barbed wire.This is probably the most used trail, both by me and the Hash. It leads down into the Marian Hills area.Since someone is building a house that blocks the path I used to use to get to the trail I call “My Bitch”, I explored this one as a potential alternative. Nope, it winds up in a difficult to traverse creek bed. It was one of those once and done trails for me.But no worries, I found this path that provides reasonably easy access to my favorite bitch of a trail.I’ve never gone this way on my own, but we’ve hashed it a couple of times. The gate is not locked.I did this trail once before someone blocked it off. It was a shitty way to go anyway.This way in and out goes through a yard with no trespassing signs. A couple of the Hares use it anyway.But this trail is only 20 yards away and it is easier to boot. Guess which one I use more often?Earlier in this post, I mentioned the squatter village right outside Alta Vista. This is the primary way to get there. This is very near my house, in fact, you can see my house from here.Another way up to squatter town……and one more. Yeah, I’m pretty sure the person who robbed my house came from that village. Easy access and escape.
Anyway, that’s what passes for excitement around here these days. But before you go let me share this Facebook memory from six years ago:
Yours truly trekking on Seoraksan in Seoul. I was carrying 30 extra kilos with me back in those days.
Wake up now. It’s time to go.
UPDATE: I was surprised to see I’ve used “ins and outs” as a post title before–back in 2014. That was a post about darts and it was only mildly more interesting than this one. Go figure.
I’m not drinking any less either. Just starting earlier so I can catch a buzz before curfew. *ahem*
No official word on when this madness might end, but all indications are at least an additional two weeks beyond the original date of April 19. My patience is being sorely tried. I mean, I get the good intentions behind the idiotic policies, but at some point, someone needs to stand up and admit that maybe these aren’t such good ideas after all. Fat chance of that happening.
Today was grocery shopping day. I can’t get on the old Navy base to shop at my usual supermarket, so I asked my driver to take me into Olongapo City. I had planned on bringing my helper along, but driver Donny said only one passenger is allowed in the vehicle. And I have to ride in the backseat! Jesus, what a bunch of bullshit. So, off we went to the new SM store. The line was out the door. I suggested we continue on to the supermarket I shopped at last week (the old SM) but when we arrived there they line was even longer. Argh! Well, since the new SM was on the way back home I had him take me back there.
That’s me in line to get a temp check before entering. There was another line inside to get into the store. Luckily, my driver had a senior citizen card and we were both able to get in without waiting.
I wasn’t impressed with the selection at SM, but I got what I could. After dropping off the groceries I had Donny carry me and the helper to the local Divimart so she could get what she needed for the household chores. When that was finished we exited the store, me carrying a 24 bottle case of water on my shoulder. We were directed to cross the highway and be screened again, even though our car was half a block away on this side of the street. Geez. And then they made us walk through the disinfectant they were spraying on the cars. C’mon, seriously? No idea what’s even in that shit, but glad I didn’t have an allergic reaction.
Is that enough bitching for one day? Alright, I’ll stop then.
It was three years ago that I met with the Ambassador to Korea as the USFK representative in a meeting with the Korean Employees Union. I guess I was the only natural lefty in attendance.
Ah, back when my life had some meaning and purpose. And no, I’m not bitching about my retirement. It’s just the current circumstances that are wearing me down.
Thanks for the reminder, Facebook. This is how I spent my day seven years ago:
Who knew “forever” would pass by so quickly?
And even though that old fat guy is dead and gone, the pain still lingers. What’s done is done and what’s gone is gone. Sometimes though I still have to tell my brain to shut the fuck up and let it go.
Facebook also provided this happier memory from five years ago:
A nice afternoon meetup at Shenanigans with a couple of my favorite authors, Kevin Kim and Young Chun. Cheers!
Today I crossed the river into the Subic municipality for my morning walk without incident. Didn’t even ask to see my quarantine pass, just took my temperature (36.3C). Well, they are spraying cars entering with some kind of disinfectant and I got squirted as I passed by. I’m pretty sure it was unintentional.
The subdivisions (Santa Monica and Sierra Hills) I normally walk through were closed to visitors (as is my own), so I just walked the highway. Lots less traffic than normal, so that was a plus. When I got to where I cut back over to get home I encountered this roadblock:
Isn’t that “interesting”? Not sure who erected the barrier or why. It was harder to get around than it looks, but I managed.
That makes about as much sense as a lot of the other bullshit being asked of us. And at least this would definitely go a long way to stop the spread of the Wuhan virus…
.Man, I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. And now my Fitbit is malfunctioning. I went online to see how to go about resolving the problem and saw quite a few folks had had a similar failure. Fitbit resolved the issue by sending them a new device. Obviously that’s not going to help me though. I also can’t order a new one because all the delivery services here have been shut down.
I feel like a canister of Morton salt.
Maybe I’m just depressed.
UPDATE: I see that I had another “seven year ache” post back in January 2018 as I marked the anniversary of my mother’s passing.
No news is good news! No sign of the virus in my little circle of life. I’m making the best of things despite the inconveniences and hurdles erected by the authorities for my own good. I’ve got my walks for daytime diversion and at least for now, “Gomans” and the Speakeasy to wet my whistle. Well, until the 6 p.m. curfew kicks in that is. And that’s just about all there is. It only sounds boring because, well hell, it is boring. But we’ll get through it together, right?
One of the new “rules” requires the wearing of a mask when on the street. I bought this homemade one for 40 pesos. Is it engineered and rated to keep the bad stuff out? No, of course not. Like almost all the restrictions imposed, this is pretty much meaningless.This sign now greets me as I enter my subdivision. Of course, I only use the front gate about half the time. There are several other unauthorized foot pathways to get in. So, if I ever find a gal I want to bring home, I’ll get inside her inside. *ahem*
Had a pleasant 8K walk this morning on and about “My Bitch”. We met on the mountain so as not to draw unwarranted attention. There were only three of us anyway, so it probably didn’t matter. Anyway, the hike went without incident or injury so I’d rate that a success!
Scott leading the way, me close behind, and Ilene bringing up the rear (and taking the photo). I lifted the pic off her Facebook, not sure what’s up with those margins…Ah, this is taking social distancing to the extreme. Nothing like mountaintop living with no neighbors. A view from the top. It really was a beautiful morning. Glad I could be out and about to enjoy it.
I’ll close with today’s “interesting” photograph:
The view I enjoy while laying in bed. Took this one after my nap this afternoon. But it is nice in the morning as well. Although most mornings it is still dark when I wake up. That’s what happens when you go to bed at eight fucking o’çlock.
I’m not one to complain though. Much.
Is that all there is, is that all there is If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing Let’s break out the booze and have a ball If that’s all there is
I certainly hope so. I’m also keeping in mind it could be a whole lot worse. And if I had to place a bet I’d say it will get worse before it gets better. Rumors are running strong that the “enhanced quarantine” will be extended at least another thirty days. If true, it’s going to get real ugly before it is all said and done. We shall see.
To my mind, statistics like these are meaningless. No one is being tested unless they become sick enough to go to a hospital. Who knows how many cases there really are?The big picture, but probably not big enough to read. In my province (Zambales) there have been a total of 4 reported cases.
Like everywhere else in the world, the major outbreaks are largely in the metropolitan areas, which makes sense. What doesn’t make sense to me is to literally starve people in order to “save” them from a virus that for 99% of humans is not fatal. Yeah, I get the whole “flattening of the bell curve” thing. But that doesn’t really apply in a 3rd world ass-backward country like the Philippines. They don’t have the ability to test for, monitor, or treat this virus. We are in the third week of lockdown, what more do they expect to accomplish?
In the meantime, nothing to do but make the best of whatever life brings. “Gomans” was still open yesterday, so there’s that.
I guess one silver lining is the ability to enjoy a quiet and litter-free beach scene whilst drinking my ice-cold San Mig Zero.
Closer to home, as in right across the street, things were heating up:
I’ve given up on trying to understand the rationale of these seemingly senseless burns. This one got out of control and threatened a nearby house. When I returned from my afternoon walk a fire truck was on the scene.The aftermath. No property damage and I guess you could call it effective weed control. Oddly enough, I know the guy who owns this lot, Leech My Nuggets from the Hash. He’s in New Zealand right now and denies any culpability in the burning. Hmm.
Even without the fire, it was pretty damn hot yesterday. But today it is chili:
I remembered to put in some pineapple chunks this time and I’ve got to say, it added just a small dose of sweet and tangy. I liked it quite a lot actually. Speaking of sweet, I did the brown sugar and honey adds to my cornbread mix. My helper said it was too sweet, but better than the unsweetened version. Some folks are just hard to please I reckon. I liked it, which is really all that matters.
With people all over the world stuck at home I guess it was inevitable that boredom would result in all sorts of Facebook fun and games. I don’t normally participate, but I relented for the “long hair/short hair challenge”.
Me with long hair……and the short-haired version of myself.
Wasn’t that fun? Speaking of Facebook, the “memories” feature reminded me of happier times in Istanbul:
Miss you, baby!
Man oh man, all these photos of yours truly make me feel like I’m looking in a mirror.
I hate when that happens!
You gotta laugh in the face of adversity, right?
I know you feel these are the worst of times I do believe it’s true When people lock their doors and hide inside Rumor has it it’s the end of Paradise
President Rodrigo Duterte ordered the police and the military to shoot violators of the enhanced community quarantine if they are unruly and prove to be a threat to law enforcers’ lives.
Duterte’s statement came hours after residents of a Quezon City barangay staged a protest demanding food aid, which they said they have yet to receive. His statement also came as calls for his ouster flooded social networking site Twitter.
Duterte appealed to aid beneficiaries to be patient as he addressed “the Left,” telling them not to riot or he will have them jailed. “I will order you detained at bibitawan ko kayo pagkatapos na wala na itong COVID,” he said. “‘Pag kayo ang na-detain, bahala kayo sa pagkain ninyo.” [Translation: I will order you detained and I will release you after this COVID-19 crisis is over…If you are detained, you are on your own when it comes to food.]
Is this a great country or what?
Closer to home, it seems some of the locals don’t like seeing us foreigners out and about enjoying our privileged life.
This rant was apparently generated by seeing the Saturday group of hikers parading down the street.
With all due respect, let me just say this: Fuck you! Our being out and about, primarily up in the mountains creates no danger to you or your neighbors. We do maintain safe distances and have little to no interaction with the locals. Unless we are giving them food, treats, or money.
The owner of Baker’s Table restaurant has initiated a charity drive to provide food to our needy neighbors here in Barretto. Apparently, the Barangay officials are too busy erecting barriers and otherwise making a bad situation worse that they can’t be bothered doing something meaningful like feeding the hungry.
Putting together the first batch of care packages. Twenty or so of us are contributing 1000 pesos ($20) a week to buy food for those in need for the duration of this crisis.
You know, it does seem that sometimes no good deed goes unpunished. This guy (I’ll come him Africa) is doing all the heavy lifting, going out and gathering the supplies, bagging them up, and then working through the Barangay to identify appropriate recipients. When Africa announced this effort on one of the internet forums, he couched it in terms of “if our neighbors are going hungry, us “rich” foreigners are going to become targets of opportunity; so it behooves us to work together to keep folks fed. Woo Boy, he took some flak for his uncharitable motivations. Fuck that. I do some stuff on my own and I do it for admittedly selfish reasons. It’s hard to live large in a country where so many have so little. Helping out a few eases my conscience and assuages my guilt. Sue me. The people benefitting from my efforts sure as hell don’t care why I’m doing it.
Speaking of selfish motivations, when I dropped into Baker’s Table to make my contribution today, I picked up these hot out of the oven pies:
An apple and a pumpkin, 450 pesos ($9.) each. I can get used to this!
As promised, here are some photos from yesterday’s hike:
The trail we took. What I like about this map is that it shows my house as one of the starting points…I had a 2K walk (the green line) to reach the group meet-up.And what a group! Eleven brave souls all told. Actually, that many people together did draw a lot of attention. Not all of it good. More on that in a bit.The climb up the big mountain begins with these steps.Still climbing…The view from halfway up…This pyre is ready for a human sacrifice to appease the God of the Wuhan virus…“Yeah, I started way the fuck down there in Alta Vista. Ain’t I special?How the boys pose on a mountaintop…Filipina-style…It is not perfect by a long shot, but why do some people insist on looking down on Barretto?“Walk towards the shade, Jim!”Horsin’ around on trail.We had planned a lunch stop at a little resort but it was closed and they wouldn’t let us in. Well, they let one person come in and buy drinks. Dave, Jim, and Jay had a Red Horse beer. I don’t mix drinking and hiking, so had a Sprite instead.Heading back down the mountain where a surprise awaits…No, not this head high barbed wire. We remembered that!
Our surprise was getting almost to the bottom and encountering an officious old hag who sternly advised us our path was closed to non-residents. We tried to argue we were on a charity mission (we had in fact handed out food and money to a destitute family up top), but she wouldn’t budge. She stood between us and the way back home so we didn’t have much choice but to ignore her. She threatened to “take our picture” and we just shrugged her off. She told us she would report us to the barangay, and we kept walking. Then she threatened to call the police. Oh well, do what you have to do. Before we reached the bottom Ed, Helen, and I veered off to take an overland route back to Alta Visa (Ed and Helen are my neighbors). I figured if the cops were really laying in wait, I’d rather go a different way. Turns out there were no problems getting home for any of us, which was a relief.
We’ve decided that in the future we will stay on the My Bitch mountain to avoid power-mad old ladies. We will also meet up on the mountain so as to not make a spectacle of ourselves walking the quarantined streets.
The things we do to keep the peace in our little town.
Well, rather than repeat myself, let me just share what I posted on Facebook this morning:
Got stopped by the police last night for being out after curfew. They asked where I’d been and where I was going. I went all American on them, yelling about me being a free man who can come and go as I please.
They arrested me and I just now got released from a holding cell. I have been advised that deportation hearings will be initiated as soon as possible. It looks like my time in the Philippines is coming to an end.
There should be a day on the calendar dedicated to fools like me.
What can I say? Those who play must pay. Speaking of paying, here’s the latest from one of the biggest bar owners in town:
Hello all. I’ll be assisting Moe in managing a new business venture which will be available to all at our soft opening this Wednesday at 6 PM in the Paradise Hotel. Now before you go thinking too much into this please let me explain how it works.
Due to the COVID-19 social distancing restrictions and most of our staff returning to the provinces, we are offering the opportunity to spend two hours with a top of the line, ultra realistic sex doll. You’ve heard how realistic they look and feel. Totally lifelike size (about 5’1) lifelike weight (about 90 lbs). Absolutely state of the art silicone silky life-like skin, real hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, pussy hair and totally realistic feeling vagina, ass, and mouth. She can bend into any position you desire and each doll comes wearing a removable sexy see-through babydoll and panties. We have 5 brand new, never used dolls. 3 are Filipina’s with brown skin and long silky black hair, 1 is a Caucasian blonde and 1 is a red head ladyboy for those customers who would like to take a walk on the wild side.
How it works: You can contact Lyn, our receptionist at the Paradise front desk and ask for a doll room. You will also be able to call ahead and make a room reservation with your favorite doll at: 0929710800.
Upon arrival, you will be given a menu card to choose which type of doll you prefer and she will be ready for you in your room. Payment is made at the reception desk and is P1000 for a 2 hour visit. Lubrication is provided along with an instruction dvd set up in your room, just press play on your remote to watch. All orifices are naturally silky smooth and feel just like the real thing. Use a little lube and you’re off to the races. This will change the way the adult entertainment industry operates here in Brgy Barretto.
When you’re finished just leave everything and the doll is thoroughly cleaned and sanitized inside and out. There is no violation of law, social distancing, or worrying about a runner, stolen wallet, or STD. She won’t argue over price or get upset if you fart in bed. The best thing is she never says “NO!”
As I mentioned before, the soft opening is this Wednesday at 6 PM and if everything goes well we will consider expansion by July. Piatnight membership cards honored. 10% discount to First Responders & medical personnel.
With the absence of the real thing, these dolls are an absolute God send. Please feel free to stop in for a glass of champagne during our soft opening, we will have all 5 dolls on display and an instructional video playing. Come on in and have a drink and check things out. We are very excited to offer an alternative form of entertainment to you and believe this will be the start of a growing industry.
I hope to see you there.
Would I be a fool to attend this event?
Meanwhile, back in the real world:
The latest from the geniuses who have quarantined Barretto. Let’s block off all the side streets in town. It won’t do anything to stop the spread of the Wuhan virus, but it will make life more difficult for everyone, so why not?
I guess the quarantine has exempted fire starters from the lockdown:
Burn baby burn! That was the view from my street as I walked out yesterday…
Yesterday’s special at “Gomans”:
I’ll take one to go too, please…
I had another long hike with some fellow walkaholics this morning. I’ll post about that adventure (with photos) tomorrow. This damn curfew has turned my world, well, my biological clock anyway, upside down. Having to be home at 6 p.m. has me all out of sorts. I was in bed before 8 last night, how f’d up is that? Ah well, hopefully, this will be over in a couple of more weeks. Or I’ll adapt. One of those.
Another change with everything closed is that I’m eating breakfast at home every morning. Here’s how I fueled up for today’s 11K hike.
It’s April Fool’s Day. Hope no one made a fool of you!
