The first day of the rest of my (new) life

What a difference a day makes!

The final goodbye to my work family was as difficult as I expected it would be. Lots of tears, including some of my own…

The king has left his palace for the last time…

I hired a local Filipina I know to drive me to Incheon for W150,000. I decided to pay a premium for the convenience of door-to-door service She brought her boyfriend along which turned out to be a good thing. She kept texting while driving in heavy traffic and after ignoring his entreaties to stop doing it, he took the phone away from her. I breathed a sigh of relief!

When the check-in counter for Philippines Air opened an hour after my arrival I was second in line for the business class check-in. When my turn came I hefted my two heavy suitcases up on the belt and then waited for what I hoped would be good news. After a bit she looked up at me and said simply “you are overweight”. I smiled and said, yeah I know, but I’m working hard on that with diet and exercise. She didn’t get my meaning at first, but then she pointed at the scale which read “64 kgs” and said I’m only allowed 30 kgs. She then helpfully suggested that if I wanted to pay and additional W334,000 she would check the bag. And so I did. I wasn’t surprised I was over the limit, just surprised by how much.

Anyway, I got to kill time in an airport lounge with a decent enough free buffet (another business class perk) while I waited to board my flight. Which in due course I did.

The only way to fly! The seat fully reclined, no one sitting next to me, and I enjoyed re-watching the musical “Chicago” for the first time in years. A short nap afterwards and then we were wheels down in Manila.

And once again the business class perks paid off as I was near the front of line at immigration and my luggage was amongst the first on the carousel. I was a little nervous that my many and bulging bags would garner unwanted attention from the customs folks (2 laptops, 15 new vape pens, and a dozen large bottles of juice) but they didn’t blink an eye as I sailed on through. Woot!

My driver was waiting in the appointed location and I was impressed as he skillfully maneuvered his way through the surprisingly heavy late night Manila traffic. It a long drive regardless and it was 3:00 a.m. when we finally arrived at the Treasure Island Resort where I will stay until Monday.

My room is a disappointment. I booked through Agoda and specifically requested (and paid for) an ocean view room. Well, the ocean ain’t far outside my door, but the room does not feature any windows. I guess if I sit out on my patio I can see water, but still… Oddly enough, the last time I stayed at Treasure Island I was given the same room, which is why I never came back. And just to prove that the God of Love has a wicked sense of humor, this is the room I shared with Loraine last year. So I slept in the bed we once shared, but honestly, it didn’t bother me. Much.

Maybe I was unfazed because before going to bed I took my sleeping meds in the form of ice cold San Mig Lights. It seemed like a good way to kick off retired life.

Up around 8:00 this morning, had an omelette and took a quick hike on the beach.

It felt damn good too.

A nice day to be retired.

While I was out and about I took a look at available short term apartments here in the Baloy beach area. The one I had looked at and liked during my January trip will not be available until next month. I found another one I kinda liked but when I asked about internet, the owner said “it’s better outside than inside”. Nope. So, I guess I’m going to settle for a little one bedroom place up the road a piece. It will run about $500 a month. Way too much really, but it is not a place I’m willing to stay long term, so there’s a premium on month-to-month. Or maybe I’m just paying the foreigner tax. Ah well, not going to sweat the small stuff.

Long term I still want a nice house. Walked through Alta Vista subdivision again but alas, I saw nothing for rent.

one of these…

…which feature this view would suit me just fine. I’ll be patient. Tomorrow I’ll check out another nearby subdivision and see what I can see…

Had lunch here at Treasure Island and flirted with the cute waitress Jessa. But it was all teasing, she is way too young and also has a four year old. Not going there!

I still need to go to the mall on the old Navy base and get a sim card for my phone. Was on my way to do that this afternoon and the sky started rumbling, so I said fuck it and came back to write this blog. Aren’t you glad I did?

And ain’t retired life grand?

My friend Eva sent me this poem and said when she saw it she thought it must be similar to what I’ve been feeling. Yeah, pretty much.

This is the beginning…
This is where it all will start,
on the wings of some new spirit with the beat of some new heart.

Every morning brings a promise,
Every day has gifts to give,
But today…right now…this minute….
is when I begin to live.
And the air that I am breathing is the breeze of what could be,
as I stand here looking out on all the things that could be Me.
And the road that goes before me, leading somewhere out of sight,
is a brand new opportunity for me to get it right.
This is the beginning. This is
Once Upon a Time….
There are dragons to be vanquished! There are castle walls to climb!
But this story isn’t written yet.
I’m only at page one.
The adventure that’s awaiting me has only just begun.
There are mysteries and treasures.
There are daring deeds to do!
And if I speak the secret word, then all my wishes will come true.
That magic word has powers that can make the heavens spin.
But it really is not secret that the password is……”Begin!”
Oh the possibilities is this beginning I have made!
I am ready!…. but reluctant.
I am excited!…. but afraid.

Afraid that starting something new leaves something old behind.
Afraid that what I seek is something I may never find.
Or, if I find it, that it won’t be what I want at all.
That what I’ve left behind is what I needed after all.

Beginning can be bittersweet, and hard to comprehend.
It can mean that some sweet, precious part of life is at an end.
And the heart can feel so hollow when it has to say good-bye
that the thought of starting over is too hard to even try.

But when I reach the end, when all my days are nearly through,
I will not want to look back on all the things I didn’t do.
Nor regret the joys and passions of the me that might have been,
if only I had found the simple courage to begin.
So…….This is the beginning….
My Beginning……..My Rebirth.
I awaken to the wonder of what I am really worth.
It is a springtime for the spirit, and it’s giving me a choice.
So I choose to use this season as a reason to rejoice!

I lift my voice in sweet thanksgiving, singing loud….and not alone.
A host of harmonies accompanies my song of the unknown.
Loving friends and willing strangers, with their voices joining in,
create a chorus of encouragement that begs me to begin.

And the end?…..
It’s out there, somewhere, farther than the heart can see.
And the power that will take me there is here, inside of me.
Though there is no way I can know how many trials I’ll endure,
nor the joys that I may find,
there is one thing I know for sure…..

This is the Beginning…….
–Warren Hanson

It’s time.

And here we are at last. My final day as a resident of Korea. My final day of employment. And hopefully my final day of looking back in sorrow and regret.

A few things left to do before I move on to my new future. Waiting for the landlord to come and satisfy himself that I’m leaving the house in the same condition I found it one year ago. Spent some big bucks having it cleaned last night so I reckon it is going to be fine. Then I’ll go into the office for a few hours to close some things out and say my final goodbyes to my work family. That’s going to be heartbreaking I know, but it’s a step in the process of moving on.

Speaking of goodbyes, I made the rounds last night saying farewell to my bar friends, and is my wont, handing out candy to my favorites. They don’t call me “the candyman” for nothing!

Georgia from Horse and Cow. She says she’s returning to the PI herself next month.

Mama, the owner of Horse and Cow.

Anna from Arirang Bar. She’s special to me. In fact, I really hope to meet a gal with her wit and humor someday.

Rein from Hot Top.

JJ and Seon Nyeo of Crystal’s Bar. I actually said my goodbyes there on Wednesday night.

I dropped into the IDK bar last night as well. The owner even gave me a gift, so I guess everything is forgiven from our past misunderstandings.

That’s a good question, one I’ve frequently asked myself of late…

I Don’t Know the answer, but I’m pretty sure it will involve the PI.

The owner of Hot Top saw my IDK shirt and wanted me to change into his. So of course I obliged.

The final stop of the night was at “The Block”, the new bar in town owned by the woman who ran the now demolished Shooters.

My friends Daniel and Dela joined me for most of my final Anjeong-ri bar hop. We had a great time. I was of course very drunk by the time midnight rolled around. They insisted on walking home with me, which was unnecessary but really sweet.

Speaking of friends, Eva messaged me with some encouraging words from a writer she likes last night.

I never really had a plan for life, I just reacted to it. Whenever I reached a crossroads, I chose a direction and followed the road without a clue as to where it might take me. I guess it is natural to wonder about the paths that would have led to a different life, but you only get to live the life you chose. No mulligans. But I have been extremely fortunate and blessed. The roads I have taken have led to some great adventures and life-altering experiences. A fool’s luck perhaps, but even though I could never have imagined what my life would turn out to be, it has been a very nice ride. So it is time to look forward again. And it will be an adventure with an uncertain outcome for sure.

I was drunk when she sent it, but it did sound vaguely familiar. And then Eva revealed that she had been reading the old posts on my blog. The one quoted above was from January 1, 2005 as I contemplated my upcoming move to Korea. Wow. Everything has seemingly changed for me, and yet oddly, it remains the same. I want to have the confidence and positive outlook that the 2005 version of me carried into Korea. Thanks for reminding me of that, Eva.

And so ends my final post from Korea. It seems appropriate to end it with a song. I always imagined that this particular song would be perfect to be played at my funeral. It also seems appropriate to mark the end of my life in Korea and you can read this article where I mentioned about the affordability of the best funeral services in town.

Time
Flowing like a river
Time
Beckoning me
Who knows when we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river
To the sea

Goodbye my love
Maybe for forever
Goodbye my love
The tide waits for me
Who knows when we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)
To the sea
To the sea

Till it’s gone forever
Gone forever
Gone forevermore

Goodbye my friend
Maybe for forever
Goodbye my friend
The stars wait for me
Who knows where we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)
To the sea
To the sea

The end of days

And so here it is, my last night in Korea. Lots of emotions churning inside me, but after all these years and memories perhaps that’s to be expected.

Walking home from work today I remembered something from 35 years ago. I was still living in Arizona, but I had sent my daughter and son to stay with my mom in Oklahoma while I recovered from my first divorce and a subsequent heartbreak. I had gone out there for a visit and when the time came for me to leave, my seven year old daughter said to me “Daddy, I know all about goodbye. It is spelled S-A-D”. And she was right. All these accumulated goodbyes are starting to take their toll. I know I will be fine once I’m wheels up and on my way, but damn, this is harder than I expected. The reality is that in all likelihood most of the people I know and care about here I will never see again. Well, they all have a standing invite to come visit me in paradise, but life intrudes, people move on, and soon enough I’ll be forgotten.

So, I’ve completed a circle of sorts.

One year ago I was arriving in Pyeongtaek. And now it is time to get the hell out of here.

In other news, I am now carless, as opposed to careless. The sell went smoothly and I now have an extra $500. in my wallet. It’s a good old car and I hope she serves the new owner well.

Afterwards, I treated my staff for a final lunch with the boss. We dined at Ariang, the first restaurant where we ate together after the move from Yongsan. Another circle closed.

Here’s half the crew…

….and here’s the rest of them…

I explained to the team that there is no such thing as a free lunch. The price they were paying today was hearing me hold court one last time. But it was a special occasion…

Because today I had the honor of presenting my Deputy, Donna Cole, with a Superior Civilian Service Award. In my 38 years with Uncle Sam Donna has been one of the most impressive individuals I have ever worked with. She knows her stuff and knows what to do with it. A great leader, a great person, a hard worker and fun to be around. She sure as hell made me look good and that is no small achievement!.

Speaking of my career, tomorrow is the last day of it. When I retired the first time back at the end of 2010 I wrote a long post recounting my career called “The end of the road”. If you are suffering insomnia, I can highly recommend it! Of course, it turned out it wasn’t the end of the road after all. I’m glad I took the detour though, because these past 3 years have been the best of my working life.

My daughter was going through a box of my stuff I left behind and sent me some reminders of just how long that road has been.

My daughter was laughing and said “you were always on us about our grades!” And I gave her the dad response of “do as I say, not as I do”. I clearly had some issues back in high school. Pot being one of them. I wasn’t any stupider then, just lazier. Still surprised I failed in PE, but Coach Davis was a hard ass and didn’t like my long hair. And the “C” in creative writing? Mr. Boyles was just not appreciative of my style of writing. I distinctly recall him telling me a sonnet I wrote (and actually worked hard on) was “extremely corny”. Well, everyone is a critic I suppose. I wonder what he would say about my blog? Eh, probably best not to know in my current fragile state…

For the record, I did in fact graduate from high school. Although I did have to take a couple of night courses at the local community college to make up for some of those “F’s”. Ah well, look at me today!

The daughter also sent me this old pay stub:

$2.00 dollars an hour working graveyard shift at the local convenience store. That was a big boost from the $1.35 the car wash was paying. Although after getting robbed one night I decided that my life was worth more than what they were paying….

Anyway, it all turned out well. I’ve had a great career and now it is time to see if I can’t find some success in other aspects of my life. Starting tomorrow!

Packing it out…

…and packing it in.

Busy day today wrapping things up here at the soon to be vacant Star Palace.

Just about 98% done packing. Actually, I ran out of room and had to abandon the idea of bringing some items, including a nice pair of hiking shoes. God knows how much I’ve already exceeded the 30 kilo baggage weight limitation. Fuck it. $12 bucks a kilo overage fee. I’d wager I could be as much as 20 kgs over that. Heh, my bags could wind up costing me almost as much as my ticket…

Gave away the rest of my remaining shit, including my grill, to some of my co-workers. So with two days to go I have nothing to cook, nothing to cook with and nothing to eat it off anyway. Woot!

Took all of my work clothes to the thrift shop on base. I won’t be needing them again, that’s for sure.

While I was on base I swung by the PX to pick up some travel size toiletries. Took advantage of the opportunity to dine at Arby’s one last time.

Well, it is no secret that I haven’t been very happy with my life here in Anjeong-ri. Oddly enough, I still feel pangs of sadness as my impending departure draws near. Of course, I’m going to miss my work family immensely. But it’s the little things that kind of get to me. I picked up my cleaning yesterday from the neighborhood shop I’ve been using since I moved here one year ago. As is my custom, I brought back the hangers for re-use. But when I emptied my laundry bag on the counter, all that fell out was a box of Whitman’s chocolates. The laundry ajumma was delighted and surprised, then she looked at me with a questioning expression and I explained (in English of course) that I was moving away. Well, she doesn’t speak English any better than I do Korean, but she got what I meant. She seemed sincerely upset, and with hand gestures indicated she wanted to cry. Okay, she’s losing a regular customer, but I prefer to think she looked forward to seeing me each week.

The point I guess if there is one, is that you get into your routines and habits and that provides some sense of being “at home” in your community. I was having a beer in Horse and Cow last night, and the owner of the now demolished Shooters popped in. She almost begged me to come by to see her new bar called “The Block”. I did and it was more “juicy” than Shooters ever was. Still, I was made to feel like a long time regular, and that was nice I suppose.

I completed one of my two hour loops yesterday and knew that it would be the last time I was seeing a scene like this.

Ah well. I am resolved to feel whatever feelings letting go of this place gives me and then leaving those feelings at the door when I board my flight on Friday night.

And then we’ll see what develops next.

Selling my car in the morning, even got it washed for the lucky buyer this afternoon. Taking my staff for a final lunch together in the afternoon. And then it will be departure eve. Time flies and soon so will I.

They love me. They really love me!

A good day at work.

Today was the last day I’ll put on a tie before going to work.

It was also the day of my “re-retirement” luncheon. The staff prepared team t-shirts for the occasion.

The Deputy G1, LTC Cooper was on hand to give some very kind remarks about my work with 8th Army.

And I was awarded the Superior Civilian Service Award…

Pinning on the medal…

Presenting the Certificate…

And then for one of the last times, the guests got paid to listen to me hold court. I was very thankful and appreciative for the recognition.

Then the staff presented me some going away gifts. I was very touched at their thoughtfulness…

I love this photo collage full of memories of the times we spent together.

….and they all left a little personal message for me as well.

What do you get a guy who doesn’t have much of a life outside of walking and drinking? Why, Hash gear of course!

My first personal patch! This was really special, although mentioning of my Hash name in an open restaurant with a mixed crowd was a tad uncomfortable. I prefaced my reading of the name with a mention of the Beatles song, so hopefully that worked…

A new Hash shirt that will definitely be put to use soon in Subic…

With a nice Hash House motto on the back!

A second shirt, with my name and my favorite beverage…On On!

Yet another personalized shirt, a nice Tagalog language book, and a shopping bag which according to the giver accurately depicts my Hash name….

It’s the people in your life that make a difference. And it is the people you will miss when you have moved far away. Hell, I miss them already and I’m not even gone!

On-out

I completed my final Hash with the Humphreys Hangover Hash House Harriers yesterday. “On out” is Hash-speak for “goodbye”.

The “on-in” (the gathering spot at the end of the trail) was at Wolfhound Pub. Left to right: Young Dum Cum, Cum Together, and the day’s Hare, Shamu Shagger.

I was awarded my first ever Hash patch. I’m told being given the “Big Dog” patch is a pretty big deal. Thanks guys!

Come next Monday I’ll be joining my new kennel, the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers. Looking forward to that!

Today was the beginning of my last week as a working man. But I ain’t working particularly hard. Tying up some loose ends, like the performance evaluations for my senior staff. I also took care of some stuff at the bank, did my change of address with the post office, ordered copies of my medical records, and that pretty much took care of the day.

Tomorrow is my official retirement luncheon at the Flightline Grill on base. I really don’t like being the center of attention, and it seems a little strange given that I had a previous retirement ceremony back in 2010. Oh well, I understand the gesture and I am appreciative.

I took the long walk home from work today, probably the last time I’ll take that route in this lifetime.

“I spent the longest decade of my life one year in Anjeong-ri”
Well, I have come full circle. They were planting the rice when I arrived and now they are cultivating as I depart. Ah, the seasons of our life.

Tonight I’ve been invited to join Dela and Daniel for dinner in their fancy new apartment at the Brownstone. Another day, another goodbye.

And so it goes. For four more days anyway.

Well I’m not the kind to live in the past
The years run too short and the days too fast
The things you lean on are the things that don’t last
Well it’s just now and then my line gets cast into these
Time passages
There’s something back here that you left behind
Oh time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

Hear the echoes and feel yourself starting to turn
Don’t know why you should feel
That there’s something to learn
It’s just a game that you play

A moving experience

Winding it down and winding it up. Completed my final drunken weekend in Anjeong-ri, featuring competing in my last IDK dart tourney. Took a fourth, which was disappointing. Understandable though since I haven’t found the motivation to get off my lazy ass and practice. But I’m resolved to re-dedicate myself to the sport after the move. I’ll have some hours to fill once I arrive and that should be a productive use of some of that time.

I’ve been thinking about the big move as the day rapidly approaches. I’ve obviously made many moves in my life, starting with moving out of my parent’s house when I was a lad of 17. But I’ve never made a move quite like this one. When I left California, where I was born and raised, for Arizona, I took along my wife and children and transferred with my letter carrier job. A few years later I was both divorced and heartbroken when I moved alone to Oklahoma. In some ways, that move most resembles this one. I sold everything I owned that didn’t fit in my car and started over. But, I was also going to be rejoining with my kids and mother and I still had a job, so in that way it differs.

I eventually remarried and took a big promotion in South Carolina. Later on, a new job and a new wife in Virginia. The big change in my life was moving to Korea in January 2005. Big culture shock both in learning about an Asian country and adapting to my new employer, the U.S. Army. I wound up loving both! So much so that I didn’t want to return to the USA, which eventually cost me yet another wife.

And then the day came (December 31, 2010) when I first decided to retire. I had been planning to live in the Philippines, but Jee Yeun changed my mind about that. Instead we made a plan to live 6 months in the states and 6 months in Korea. That worked for me. Until it didn’t work for her anymore. Not going to open that old wound now, suffice to say I came back to Korea and came back to work. Having completed the circle it is once again time to retire and this time I’ll follow through on the plan to live in the PI, for better or worse.

Is it a little scary? To be honest, yes. At least in the sense that I’m going to be exploring uncharted territory on my own. My many previous moves have not been anything like the one I’m preparing to make now. The biggest differences are that I will be alone and unemployed. A job gives you a built-in social network and a sense of purpose and belonging. I know I’ll make friends (already have one in Manila) and I’ll get settled into my routines. In time I’m sure it will feel like home. It’s just a bit disconcerting dealing with all the unknowns. Well, that’s what makes it an adventure I suppose.

Let the adventure begin! In a mere 5 days.

Adios amigo

Today I climbed Younginsan for the last time.

No, not the last time because it killed me, the last time because I’m moving next week.

The trail that leads to the top…

A view along the way…

such a pretty day it was impossible to take a bad picture…

well, ALMOST impossible to take a bad picture.

the park on the mountain…

the path to the park…

I was awake, so I guess this was a stream of consciousness…

Lots of ways to the top…wooden steps….

…or concrete steps.

The summit achieved.

My hiking companions for the day.

It’s Children’s Day, so I channeled my inner child.

Lots of good memories to go with the bad ones, but the memories I’ve yet to make are the important ones…

Six more days.

Puedes traerme tu amor
Adiós mi corazón how I love you
Puedes traerme tu amor
Adiós mi corazón
I hope the words are right
‘Cause they’re the only words
I know tonight

Oh! The nights are never ending
I don’t know why
No comprende
Days are longer than
You’ll ever know
Adiós mi corazón

Celebration!

Well, here in Korea folks are celebrating Children’s Day in the traditional fashion…

And of course, in Mexico the Cinco de Mayo celebrations are in full swing…

But the most important celebration on May 5 is the one honoring my first born grandchild’s birthday.

Ain’t she sweet?

Gracyn was born just a few months after I first arrived in Korea. And today she becomes a teenager! I’m not sure how that happened, all I know is I ain’t anywhere near old enough to have a teenaged grandchild.

She’s something special, no question about it.

Happy birthday Gracyn!

Almost home

Well, I guess you could say I’m feeling a little week today.

That’s right, in a mere seven days I’ll be boarding a plane and flying off to find a new, and hopefully better, life in the Philippines. Despite numerous visits there as a tourist I’m not sure what to expect as a full-time resident. The adventure I suppose will be in finding out what happens next.

I’ve pretty much come to terms with the idea of going it alone, at least to start. I’m resolved to not actively look for a girlfriend/companion. If “the one” for me is out there, she’ll find me. I’m just going to let nature take its course. It seems more practical anyway to allow things to occur in the natural fashion, like being introduced by mutual friends or maybe encountering each other at an event of common interest (the Hash, darts, etc.). Yeah, I’m a lonely guy and that makes me vulnerable. I need to toughen my ass (and heart) up and accept things as they are, rather than settle for something that may (or may not) be better than nothing.

I’ve not been real busy at work (shuddup!) which has given me time to peruse expat blogs and webpages about adapting to life in the Philippines. Picking up some good tips here and there which may help me avoid learning by making mistakes. One thing is clear, how well you adjust and how happy you are in the Philippines really comes down to your own attitude. I’m not known for my patience and I know going in I’m going to have to lower my expectations about certain aspects of life in the PI, and accept that things will not always go as I hope and desire them to be. For the expats that acknowledge the realities of life in a third world country and who recognize that the overall good aspects of life outweigh the bad, happiness awaits. For those who bitch, moan and complain about inconveniences and disappointments, well the best course is to get the fuck out and go home. I will endeavor mightily to be amongst the former.

One blog I read particularly resonated with me. In a post called “Finding your own path”, Reekay (a six year resident) wrote:

Which brings me to the point of ‘finding your own path’. I have said so many times to so many people, “The Philippines has been fantastic for me… but it’s not for everyone.” I stand by that. For me, the Philippines awakens all my senses afresh. My mind is alive and in full gear all over again, just like when I was a kid. Something new is around every corner. Food is different. People are different. The very air is different. Is it altogether ‘better’ than my life in the USA? In some ways, yes and in some ways, absolutely not. Going from a 1st-world country into a country that boasts not only some of the most beautiful and accessible topical landscapes, but also no shortage of poverty and distress is a change that not everyone can handle in stride.

I’ve mentioned before that this is one reason those of us Expats who run into each other on the streets or online in the Philippines have a common sense of respect for each other. It takes a certain type of adventurous spirit to not only endure the new environs and distance from ‘home’… but to thrive and truly enjoy a whole other culture to the fullest. That commonality of spirit gives us a certain bond of friendship that has nothing in common with those expats who arrive and simply complain of their plight here. We distance ourselves from those who made the move, but never accepted the culture of the new surroundings. We are adventurous and revel in our new surroundings. ‘They’ arrived only to live in frustration at their own displeasure of inconvenience. Our only statement to them is, “If you don’t like it, leave.”

What I have spent many hours in front of a bonfire in the province alone pondering is my resolve to be content in pursuing my own path. I truly wish I could have found the ‘one path’ that would make others as happy as I am with my own life. But there is no ‘one’ path. I see poverty in the USA and I see it in the Philippines. Despite a few dollars here and there to random people in need I encounter, I have no solution. I can’t sit down for a moment and say to one of the beggars, “Just do ‘this’ and ‘this’ and all will be well, my friend.” I have no such solution. I see sorrowful marriages or relationships and over the years I’ve tried to offer the best counsel I could to avert or stop the pain involved. Some people listen, some don’t. Each person has to determine for themselves the path they will take. I offer to point out a fork in the road; this way leads to more of the same misery.. this other way leads to a freedom from the situation. That is the best I can do. It is the new mantra that I hear myself saying now that I have been in-country for 16 months and it is this; “Everyone must find their own path.”

I suppose this is the tight-rope that must be navigated in a poor country when you are the ‘rich’ foreigner transplanted for the duration. Figuring out when, where and to whom some level of compassion or assistance is to be given to others. In a land where there is much desperation, there is much abuse of kind-hearted foreigners trying to navigate those waters. Countless are the expat stories of being lied to and defrauded of money by those who take the deceitful shortcut to survival. I do what I can to give warnings and how to avoid such situations, but again I’m reminded that each one must find their own path. Some must learn the hard way that trust cannot be given so quickly. Discernment as to when and to whom to give compassion or assistance is not something that can be bottled and dispersed like a tonic. Despite whatever good advice anyone may come across.. time and experience is what it boils down to.

I am happy with the path I’ve chosen. I wish I could do more for others but, the reality is I can only do so much. And maybe that’s okay. Few men ever change the whole world in a positive way. Perhaps making positive change to the few within our circle of influence is all we can really expect of ourselves.

That last paragraph is what I aspire to do…making my little corner of the world just a little bit better because of my presence there.

So, in my readings lots of writers point out how inexpensive it is to hire someone to make your life simple and worry free, touting that as one of the big benefits of living in the Philippines. Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve been there and done that. But, as many have pointed out, what I really did was try to purchase a relationship, and that effort was bound to fail. Lesson learned. Still, I would consider hiring a “helper” that could assist me in navigating the culture and in general just make my life as easy as possible. Obviously, this time around I would employ a person I’m not attracted to and keep everything strictly professional and platonic. We’ll see.

Before I can pursue that option I’ll need to find a house in which to live that would accommodate a live-in helper. I know the neighborhood I want (Alta Vista) but I’ve got to be on the ground to find an available rental.

This is the view I want to wake up to each morning:

If my Spanish is right, “Alta Vista” means “high view”. Works for me!

And this would be my dream house to wake up in:

I just have to be patient and look until I find just what I want. That’s why I plan to do a short term lease on a small apartelle while I walk the neighborhoods looking for home.

The search begins next week!

I saw my life this morning
Lying at the bottom of a drawer
All this stuff I’m saving
God knows what this junk is for
And whatever I believed in
This is all I have to show
What the hell were all reasons
For holding on for such dear life
Here’s where I let go

I’m not running
I’m not hiding
I’m not reaching
I’m just resting in the arms of the great wide open
Gonna pull my soul in
And I’m almost home

Now this I’m gonna miss

Another “last”, my final grocery shopping excursion to the commissary.

The new Humphreys store is the largest in the Pacific, if not the world….

….with a great selection of fruits and veggies….

And of course any kind of meat you might hunger for.

Now, obviously they have grocery stores in Olongapo. In fact, there are two great stores (Puregold and Royal) on the old Navy base that feature a nice selection of imported goods (i.e. things I like). Still nothing like the selection I’ve grown accustomed to and of course the prices at the commissary are very much lower. Oh well, I’ve already factored a larger grocery bill into my Philippines budget.

Meanwhile, the staff had some fun taking photos and using those filter things to alter them in cutesy ways.

Ah, they treat me like a King! I’m going to miss my loving work family most of all…

Eight days.

Doing the math

Well, arithmetic anyway.

Something doesn’t add up here…

Of course, I’m all about subtraction these days. One more thing crossed off my to-do list:

That’s a three month supply of my prescription meds.

I’ve also subtracted one more day from calendar. 9 days to go. Single digits baby!

Come what May

Mayday! Mayday! Let the final countdown commence! 10…

Back to my routine in Anjeong-ri. Seon Nyeo is one of my favorites. Introduced her to 50s rock-n-roll last night and she was crazy about it. Fun times…

Experienced another “last” and didn’t even know it. Returned from Seoul to discover Shooters bar has been torn down….

I was feeling down in the dumps when I returned from Seoul yesterday morning. Got in some good walking which helped restore my mental equilibrium. Really want to focus on the positive from here on out. Tear down those walls so to speak…

Thank you Fitbit! Hopefully I have many more miles to go in this lifetime’s journey…

Comes a time
when you’re driftin’
Comes a time
when you settle down
Comes a light
feelin’s liftin’
Lift that baby
right up off the ground.

Oh, this old world
keeps spinning round
It’s a wonder tall trees
ain’t layin’ down
There comes a time.

You and I we were captured
We took our souls
and we flew away
We were right
we were giving
That’s how we kept
what we gave away.

Oh, this old world
keeps spinning round
It’s a wonder tall trees
ain’t layin’ down
There comes a time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsWrmJjD2eY