Oh boy.  It’s a sedate, if not serene, lifestyle I’m living in retirement.  At least as far as the USA iteration goes.  Hold on to your hats, here’s how my Friday went down.

The day started with me going to bed at 1:00 a.m.  Sometime during the night a heavy rain began to fall and continued throughout the day.  I was awakened around 6:30 by a persistent chirping.  I looked at the bedside clock and it was dark, so I realized the power had gone out at some point.  I couldn’t get back to sleep because of the chirps emitting from somewhere in the house every minute or so.  After 15 minutes the cobwebs in my brain had cleared out enough for me to grasp that the incessant noise was coming from my security system.  When the power goes out it chirps out its warning for as long as the back-up battery lasts.  Duh.  Rolled out of bed and reset the alarm, and then returned to my peaceful slumber.

I re-awoke at 9:00 and turned on the coffer maker/grinder.  Damn thing sounds like a jet taking off.  Fortunately our house guest Corine, who is visiting from Maryland, was already up and preparing for her long drive home.  My only real complaint about my ATT Uverse internet service is that every time there is a power interruption my personal wireless network disappears.  And sure enough, it was gone again.  My efforts to restore it were fruitless so I called the tech support folks.  And spent an hour and fifteen minutes on the phone trying to get the network back up.  We eventually managed to get my computer back on line, but the other devices (Jee Yeun’s laptop, Corine’s Ipad, and my Roku) would not connect.  I had an appointment to get to, so the tech promised to call me back at 1:00.  He didn’t.

I needed to get Jee Yeun to her physical therapy appointment, so we said our goodbyes to Corine and headed up the highway in the pouring rain.  I snoozed in the car while Jee Yeun had her shoulder worked on.  On the way home we stopped at Walgreen’s for a carton of smokes.

Back at the house, we did a reboot of Jee Yeun’s computer and this time it connected to our wireless network.  Hooray!  I had a chef salad for lunch and did a little internet surfing.  I put out some feelers for a graphic designer to come up with an appropriate logo for the newly formed Columbia Area Darts Association.  The bids are coming in at around $250.  Since I’m paying for this work out of pocket I’m hoping to get someone for closer to $150.  I mean, I have the vision, I just need someone with the skills to implement it.  We’ll see.

One of my favorite retirement perks is the ability to take a nap anytime the mood strikes me.  It did, so I did.  I woke up refreshed an hour later and knocked out a few games of Words with Friends.  My brother in California is the only person who still wants to play me these days .  I do fairly well at the game I suppose (it’s like Scrabble, only easier), but my bro still beats me the majority of the time.  Guess that’s why he still plays me.

Jee Yeun offered to make me a smoothie and I didn’t refuse.  Not especially in keeping with my low carbohydrate regimen, but I had it in lieu of dinner.  Besides, man does not live by not eating bread alone.  To coin a phrase.

Next up was a brisk walk for an hour (3.5 miles) on the treadmill..  Then an hour and half of darts practice.  Another round of Words with Friends, some television (Orange is the New Black) on Netflix, a shower, and this blog post.

And there you have it.  Hey you, wake up!  This is my life we’re talking about here!

Meaning, the supper I had last night.

The next best thing to being in Korea I suppose…

Ha, I’m practically famous, in an anonymous kind of way.

I emailed a link from a 1953 issue of LIFE magazine to one of my favorite bloggers, Althouse.  She thinks men in shorts look ridiculous and often mentions that fact on her blog.  The LIFE magazine article documents shorts for men as a new fashion trend in New York City.  LIFE cautions they should be worn properly with knee socks, but sniffs they are still more “appropriate for the country”.

Anyway, it made me smile to see my email generated a blog post from Althouse.  Cheers!

An argument could be made that the USA is increasingly becoming a police state.  Now, I’m not saying that life here is anything like being in prison.  But in order to leave the country with my wife, I have to complete USCIS Form Number I-131, Request for Advance Parole.  If the all mighty and powerful bureaucratic machine deems us worthy, dispensation in the form of early release from the confines of U.S. borders could be ours!

After perusing 8 pages of governmentese instructions for said from I-131 (the form itself is only 5 pages long) I came to the conclusion that our situation does not precisely fit one of the categories for for which “parole” will be considered.  I could perhaps make a compelling case for parole given Jee Yeun’s need to deal with real estate issues, but seeing as how there is a 3-6 month timeline for processing the I-131 (which means I could potentially have the green card before a parole is approved), I’ve reached the logical decision that it’s not worth the time and effort to even apply.

I guess there’s nothing to be done now except to accept that I won’t be returning to Korea anytime soon.  Fuck parole, I’ll serve my time like a fine and proud American.  And hopefully early next year I shall be released.

Finally.  The long awaited letter from U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) arrived in today’s mail.  The subject of the letter is “Notice of Potential Interview Waiver Case”.  The letter explains that USCIS has determined that an interview may be unnecessary to complete the permanent residency application.  I took that as a hopeful sign that things might be moving forward more expeditiously henceforth.

Ah, but no so fast!  After all, this is the U.S. government we are talking about here.  The letter goes on to state that “Due to workload factors not related to your case, USCIS anticipates a delay in completing your case.”  How long a delay?  Six fucking months from the date of the letter (August 2).  So, that puts us into February.  What a cluster fuck.

So, I guess it’s move on to plan B.  Jee Yeun has to go back to Korea prior to the expiration of her lease in December.  She needs to kick a non-paying tenant out of the apartment she owns, and she needs to move from the apartment she is currently renting (well, it’s a key money lease, but you get my meaning).  As I mentioned in a previous post, Jee Yeun is technically not allowed to leave the country while her green card application is pending.  However, I can file another form with USCIS asking for a waiver of that provision.

I’m reluctant to take that step because the USCIS website warns that such a course of action “may” delay approval of the permanent residency application.  So, it appears I’m screwed either way.  Well, nothing much to be done about it at this point.  I reckon I’ll have to ask for the waiver and take my chances.  What bullshit this is.

In the letter carrier’s mixed bag today I also received my brand spanking new set of Black Widow fixed point tungsten darts.  Sweet.  Looks like I’m going to have plenty of time to break them in here in South Carolina.

Ready to put the bite on my opponents!

I miss the sights and smells of Korea, like this steaming pot of bundaegi (silk worms). Granted, I don’t miss the taste of that particular delicacy but I’m ready for most other culinary delights you can find on the street.

Well, I’ve been back in the USA for six months now.  I had fully expected to have returned for my semi-annual stint in Korea this month.  Even had a doctor’s appointment scheduled (which Jee Yeun cancelled last night).  So much for optimism, right?  It ain’t happening and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

The hardest part is not being able to make a plan.  Other than cashing my check for $1070.00 and taking Jee Yeun’s fingerprints, the folks at the United States Customs and Immigration Service (USCIS) have made no discernible progress in processing Jee Yeun’s permanent residence application (green card).  Under the “rules”, Jee Yeun is not permitted to leave the country while her application is pending.  So we are stuck here for god knows how long.

It’s my own damn fault really.  Like a chump I made the mistake of following the rules.  Wasted 18 months going the fiancee visa route rather than getting married while Jee Yeun was here on a tourist visa.  I foolishly believed that doing the right thing was not only the right thing to do, but that it would ultimately expedite the permanent residency process.  Four months later and not a peep from USCIS.  In fact, the website where I’m supposed to be able to track “progress” of the application has not changed since acknowledging receipt back in April.  The spouses of friends who took the illegal approach had their green cards in hand within six months.  Fuck me.

Which is not to say we haven’t been making the best of things during our U.S. sojourn.  We’ve traveled a lot to exotic locales (Augusta, Virginia Beach, Las Vegas, DC, Maryland, Orlando, Winston-Salem, Charlotte, and Nashville).  We’ve had some quality time with the kids and grandkids which has been fun.  Also caught up on most of my favorite TV shows, so there’s that.  And truth be told, our American life is actually quite comfortable and stress free.

I’ve been keeping pretty busy with my darts “career” which helps fill the hours.  In fact, after months of complaining about Columbia being virtually a darts desert, I got off my lazy ass and did something about it.  The Columbia Area Darts Association (CADA) has now been established, and our application for sanctioning with the American Darts Organization is pending.  The first order of business for CADA was the formation of the Columbia Singles League, which provides me the opportunity to play darts every Sunday without driving over an hour to Aiken.  Hey, a selfish motivation is still motivation, right?

When I do get back to Korea, I will be in a somewhat diminished capacity.  Regular reader(s) know I’ve been faithfully (for the most part) adhering to the low carbohydrate lifestyle since my return to the states, and I’m now within 20 pounds of attaining my weight loss goal.  So there’s that.

I just want the best of both worlds I suppose.  And the calendar says it’s time to move on to that other one for a few months.  Hopefully, within a very few months.

A big BROWN bag full of racism!

Fresh off the trial of that “white Hispanic” (with the black grandfather) George Zimmerman, the PC police now advise us that bringing a brown bag lunch to work is racially insensitive.  The folks at Legal Insurrection have all the details here, but the gist of the problem is apparently this:

For a lot of, particularly, African American community members,” he said, “the phrase ‘brown bag’ does bring up associations with the past when a brown bag was actually used, I understand, to determine if people’s skin color was light enough to allow admission to an event or to come into a party that was being held in a private home.”

Now granted, that’s a pretty uncool thing to do.  What kind of racist bastard would even think up such an outrage?

In a 2006 book, Audrey Elisa Kerr, a professor of African-American literature at Southern Connecticut State University, documents reports throughout the 20th century of the use of paper bags by African-American fraternities, sororities, churches and social clubs to determine whether a potential member was light-skinned enough to be socially acceptable.

Oh my, racist black folk discriminating against other people of color!  Who knew?

The Legal Insurrection boys (oops!, I mean privileged white lawyers)  also discuss the recent incidences of reporters who have gone where no one should dare tread when discussing Asians.

We also addressed the idiom Chink in the Armor after a sportscaster was suspended and a copywriter (who happened to be married to an Asian woman) was fired for using the phrase in connection with discussing basketball player Jeremy Lin’s on-court weaknesses.

 

Now “chink in the armor” is back in the news because a CNBC reporter used the phrase in assessing whether Wendi Deng, the Chinese wife of Rubert Murdoch, could overcome trust agreements as part of their divorce. The phrase was not used to refer to Ms. Deng, but to legal arguments Deng’s lawyer would use to allow her to access the Trusts which contained most of Murdock’s vast fortune.

 

“What do you think the chink in the armor here might be, that’s what [the lawyer] is so good at, is finding a chink in the prenupts and all these trusts.”

I do not want to be niggardly in expressing my outrage at the blatant racism that flows so glibly from the lips of those who find racism in common terms of speech.  Perhaps you are thinking, “that’s mighty white of you, John.”  But really, what’s next?  Can a black person still order some crackers with his soup?

Is it racist to say that? Hell, I don’t know. Flip a coin. Or maybe you better not.

I’m reminded of some mandatory diversity training I attended back in my Postal Service days.  The instructor in all seriousness told us that we should not call a flip chart a flip chart because the word “flip” is offensive to Filipinos.  Lord knows I respect and  admire the wonderful people of the Philippines.  But it’s all about context, right?  Who in their right mind would be offended about a flip chart?  Or a coin flip.  This PC madness is really beginning to flip me out.

Maybe if we are all racist in what we say and do, none of us are racist.  Or maybe not.  America scares me lately.  I hope to get back to Korea in the fall.  I love those mornings when there is a little nip in the air.

Don’t flip me the bird you racist bastard!