Though Adam was a friend of mine, I did not know him well
He was alone into his distance
He was deep into his well
I could guess what he was laughing at, but I couldnt really tell
Now the story’s told that Adam jumped, but I’ve been thinking that he fell
Together we went traveling, as we received the call
His destination India, and I had none at all
Well, I still remember laughing with our backs against the wall
So free of fear, we never thought that one of us might fall
I sit before my only candle, but its so little light to find my way
Now this story unfolds before my candle
Which is shorter every hour as it reaches for the day
But I feel just like a candle in the way
I guess I’ll get there, but I wouldn’t say for sure
When we parted we were laughing still, as our goodbyes were said
And I never heard from him again as each our lives we led
Except for once in someone elses letter that I read
Until I heard the sudden word that a friend of mine was dead
I sit before my only candle, like a pilgrim sits beside the way
Now this journey appears before my candle
As a song that’s growing fainter the harder that I play
But I fear before I end I’ll fade away
But I guess I’ll get there, though I wouldn’t say for sure
Though Adam was a friend of mine, I did not know him long
And when I stood myself beside him, I never though I was as strong
Still it seems he stopped his singing in the middle of his song
Well I’m not the one to say I know, but I’m hoping he was wrong
I’m holding out my only candle, though its so little light to find my way
Now this story’s been laid beneath my candle
And its shorter every hour as it reaches for the day
Yes, I feel just like a candle in the way
I hope I’ll get there, but I never pray
–Jackson Browne
Today the expat community is abuzz with shock and sadness upon learning of the death of Shawn Matthews, author of the Korea Life Blog and more recently the China Life Blog.
I only knew Shawn from his writing, but he was the type of person I enjoyed sharing adventure with, albeit vicariously. Even as a stranger, I somehow feel diminshed by his loss. I’m not sure how to explain that, but I know on my dark days far from family and friends, I have often been comforted by the words and kind thoughts of my fellow bloggers. Shawn was surrounded by people who loved him, and yet he was still beyond their reach.
As others have said, suicide is incredibly selfish. Whatever pain Shawn was expericing was not escaped, merely transferred to friends and family. But I’m not going to judge, only regret that Shawn chose to stop singing in the middle of his song. And his voice will always be missed by those he left behind.
