Greetings, patient and faithful readers! It is Saturday morning here in the Land of the Morning Calm and I am going to spend part of it with you.

Let me begin by offering an apology for my selfishness. It is an aspect of my character that I always have to work hard at keeping in check, but living alone really seems to exacerbate this flaw. I used to think this blog was just my plaything to do with what I will and you folks who cared to were welcome to come along for the ride, or not. But I have come to realize that I also have a duty and obligation to each of you who pays me the honor of visiting here. So I am resolved to rededicate myself to sharing something with you here everyday. I can’t promise that it will always be worthy of your time, but at least you will know I am making the effort to stay in touch.

So what has been going on in my world? I have fallen into a pretty uninteresting routine which is compounded by a general malaise. It is not just the blog, it is everything that I used to enjoy that I have not been motivated to pursue. CIV III, fantasy baseball, reading blogs, responding to email, posting here; all have suffered from my neglect and lack of interest. I’m not exactly sure why this is, but I suspect it is a manifestation of some pretty deep loneliness. All of those activities also remind me of my life in the States, so perhaps my disconnect is a defense mechanism against homesickness. Who knows and who cares. It is a problem I have to work through and the first step is to get back into the routine of communicating through this blog.

Having said that, let me assure you that I am in fact enjoying my Korean experience. I am meeting people, Koreans and other expats. I am a regular at Sweet Caroline’s and it is nice to have a place “to go where everyone knows your name”. Still, I don’t want a life that revolves around bars and drinking, so I’m looking for other ways to fill the hours. It is finally beginning to warm up enough where I can walk around and do some exploring outside of Itaewon. I also plan to take some weekend trips into the countryside to see the “real” Korea. One of my new Korean acquaintances, Mr. Park, has invited me to his hometown (sorry, the name escapes me this morning). It is in the mountains about 3 hours south of here and I am looking forward to taking him up on the offer. I wish my Korean language skills were better, because communication is quite difficult without an interpreter. Day by day I am increasing my vocabulary and I’m told my pronunciation is pretty good, but I still lack confidence and I know my sentence structure is still bass ackwards.

I am going to buy a gas grill later this month (already have one picked out at the PX) and my plan is to invite my small circle of newly met friends (Americans Jeff and Rob, the sisters from Sweet Caroline’s, and Mr. Chun and Mr. Park) over to my place for a little taste of America. Steaks, baked potatoes, corn on the cob, baked beans, etc. Everyone says they are looking forward to doing that and they have the mistaken impression that I actually know how to cook. Which is really quite funny if you have ever seen my kitchen work. I usually bake something for dessert on Sunday’s (brownies, carrot cake, cookies) and carry the left overs to the bar (I have no self control, and a plate of brownies would more than counteract my daily walks to work). Hell, it is just using the packaged ingredients but they are always quite impressed. I’m told that cooking is considered women’s work in Korean culture, so I guess I’m striking a blow for male liberation.

Anyway, when I’m not hanging out at Sweet Caroline’s I’m usually just sitting around the house listening to music or watching Korean television. I am getting addicted to some of the melodramas. Don’t have a clue as to what is being said, but I just sit there mesmerized anyway. Go figure.

Work has actually been a good respite from my otherwise mundane existence. I have been reassigned into a supervisory position (same pay, more responsibility), but I agreed to do it because I prefer being the boss and I like the challenge. I am trying to recruit someone to fill the job I just left, and I hope to get some good candidates to select from in two weeks. We are dealing with some interesting issues, and one in particular has been in the headlines of Stars and Stripes this week. The union wants employees to be paid for the hours they were confined to quarters during the curfew, the Army says they are not entitled to additional compensation. I’m with the Army on this one (actually, since I represent the Army, I’m ALWAYS with the Army, but I personally agree with the Army’s position in this case). We shall see soon how it plays out, but this is the kind of issue that makes my job so enjoyable (even after 20+ years of labor relations work).

I guess by now you are thinking, “first this guy doesn’t write a substantative post for weeks, then he comes back and tries to bore us to death with the insignificant details of his life”. Hey, what can I say? What you see is what you get. Think of it this way, if you keep coming back the law of averages dictates that I will eventually have SOMETHING interesting to say. Kind of like an auto race. Lots of cars going in circles, then all of the sudden there is a big crash and lots of excitement. Hmm, scratch that, using a car crash as an analogy for my life is not what I had in mind. You get my meaning though.

Speaking of which, I had a bad driving experience Thursday evening. Traffic was real bad and I couldn’t turn left where I normally do, so I went up to the first place I could and planned to circle back. I had done that before in daylight, but at night I missed my street and got lost. Which was bad enough, but I got on the worst street I have ever seen. It was not really a street, more like an alley. Or a wide sidewalk. It was so narrow, my mirrors were brushing the trash cans on either side, and I drive a small car. If I had been in my Jeep there is no way I could have made it. And then I came to the steepest hill I have ever seen (including that famous street in San Francisco). I’m not sure if I was even on a road at that point, but there was no way I could back up so I plunged (literally) ahead. Scared the hell out of me, and the front of my car was scraping ground at the bottom. But I made it down and eventually found my way home. I would go back and get you a picture, but I still have no clue how I got myself into that situation, and doing it once was enough if you get my meaning.

Thank you all for the helpful suggestions to get me out of my blog funk. Be careful what you ask for, because look what I have spewed out here this morning!

TJ: I did not mean to imply there was nothing interesting going on in the world, just that I felt I had nothing to add to the discussion. But that never stopped me before, right? So yes, I am going to be going political on this blog again real soon. Thanks for your kind words. I do enjoy sharing my perspective and it is good to know you have an interest in that.

Mom: You made me feel guilty like only a mother can! 🙂 Thinking of you and Dad anxiously logging on each morning to see what I have to say only to be disappointed should be plenty of motivation for a good son like me not to let you down. I will do better, promise.

Ashley suggests that I make note that our soldier is home on leave from her tour in Afghanistan. Welcome home Hillary! I know you will have a good time and I’m sorry I can’t be there to give you a big hug. You have made me so proud. I am looking forward to you coming to visit me in Korea. I’ll make sure you have a blast.

Carol wants photographic evidence that Seoul really is a shopping Mecca. Look for that soon. I am in the market for a chair or a bench to put in my entry way. As I mentioned, shoes in the house is an unforgivable faux pas in Korean culture. Plus since I have to do my own cleaning it is a tradition that makes perfect sense from a practicality standpoint. Most Koreans wear shoes that are easily slipped on and off. Mine all have shoelaces. My belly being what it is, I find it to be somewhat of a chore to bend over repeatedly to tie my shoes. Hence, my quest for a chair. I will photoblog that “adventure”.

Leslie says don’t forget March Madness. Hmm, if you have made it this far into this post you might surmise that I have indeed succumbed to some form of madness this March.

Baltimore wants clever puns and jokes. Other than my so-called life being somewhat of a joke these days, the title to this post is about as clever as I feel this morning. But who knows, I might get inspired one day soon.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen. A classic LTG ramble. Lots of content, no substance. But I hope I have re-primed the pump and some good work will follow. I am committed to renewing my dedication to this blog and to you my loyal readers. Thank you for hanging in there, I will try hard to be worthy.

Well, what started as a pretty mundane Saturday ended with a bang.

I spent the afternoon being all domestic–laundry, grocery shopping. I did have a nice Korean lunch of cheese Raman and kimchi. Here’s a tip: Unless you have mastered using Korean chopsticks DO NOT wear a white shirt when eating Raman. I was all over the place and once I got a noodle anywhere near my mouth I sucked it up like spaghetti. I’m sure I was quite the spectacle, especially when I gave in and finished my bowl with the spoon. It was damn good and I have the evidence on my shirt to prove it!

Anyway I come home and I’m watching a little TV. There is something mysterious about my couch. It induces sleep. When I opened my eyes it was a little past 8:00. So it being Saturday night and all, I figured I would wander down to Sweet Caroline’s to quaff a brew or two. It was really cold last night and I was alone in the bar until about 10:30. The three sisters were really lamenting the slow night, because like most bars they rely on the weekend to turn a profit. I was not being much help in that regard because I drink draft beers at 3000 WON a pop, and I was drinking slow last night.

As I was saying, around 10:30 Rob comes in. I had seen him there before but never really talked to him until last night. He’s Army and has been in country about 3 months. So, Rob proceeds to buy a round for the house. As he noted, it’s all about timing and counting me and the sisters, it was only 5 drinks. About that time three Korean gentlemen arrived and the party began. I had met Mr. Chun previously and was introduced to his friends, something that sounded like Mr. Bob and the other name is lost in the fog of intoxication. Mr. Chun has just opened a gambling house (video poker and slots) and has invited me to visit, I promised I would. So we carried on a very friendly conversation with Mi Soon serving as interpreter. He asked my age (which is always a very important piece of information to Koreans. Has to do with status and respect and all that). Turns out I am three years older than him. So he goes on and on about how honored he is to have made my acquaintance and I of course responded in kind. Then he bought me a beer. Which gave me three in front of me. So, I had to get busy but after a series of toasts, I was pretty much caught up and I was starting to feel the glow of camaraderie (or the cumulative effects of the beers I had consumed). A group of Japanese tourists came in and filled up some of the tables in back, so the place was really jumping.

The Koreans (or at least the Koreans who frequent Sweet Caroline’s) are really into American music, especially classic rock and to a lesser extent country. I mean they KNOW the groups and songs and can sing along even if they have no idea what the words mean. For example, I had to explain the concept of seeing the world through rose colored glasses . Not sure how successful I was, but I got the obligatory head nod and “ne, ne” (yes, yes). Actually, the two best things about Sweet Caroline’s is the music they play and the popcorn. They have an extensive collection of CDs and vinyl and just about anything you want to hear they can and will play. I let them make copies of my Beach Boys, Mary Chapin Carpenter, and Meatloaf CDs to add to their collection (hmm, was that illegal?). Sister (the oldest of the three, and everyone calls her Sister out of respect) makes popcorn the way grandma used to do it. In a cast iron skillet on the stove. Smells and tastes wonderful. Microwave popcorn is easy and quick, but good ol’ stove top popcorn can’t be beat.

Anyway, the Koreans were choosing songs from The Allman Brothers, Moody Blues, and Doobie Brothers. The place was rockin’. Then Rob buys a round of Soju. Soju is the national drink from what I gather. I have previously tried it in small doses. It reminds me of vodka, clear and pretty much tasteless. You drink it in shots. It goes down smooth enough, but kind of explodes when it hits your stomach. So then Mr. Chun buys a round of Soju shots. And of course, the only polite thing to do was for me to buy a round. And I am nothing if not polite.

Shortly thereafter the Korean gentlemen departed after handshakes and bows all around. The Japanese had left earlier unnoticed by me. So, it is back to me, Rob and the sisters. Rob somehow convinced me that another round of Soju was in order. And so it was done. Now, I will admit to being pretty much lit like a Christmas tree at this point. But if I had stopped then things would have been ok. Instead, sister Tami wanted to repay the generosity Rob and I had shown by buying a round of boilermakers.

I know of boilermakers (a shot glass of whiskey dropped into a beer glass and guzzled) , but have never been inclined to try one. First off, I don’t like whiskey and I see no point in ruining a perfectly good beer by dropping a shot glass of whiskey into it. But in the spirit of the moment I agreed to participate. Big mistake. I could only chug about half the beer, and when the whiskey went down my throat, it immediately came back up. With the semi-digested food from dinner that was lingering in my stomach. So I am standing at the bar with a mouth full of yuck with everyone staring at me. Now, the manly thing to do would have been to re-swallow. But gawd, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. The restroom is outside the front door and as I made a beeline for it, some MPs were walking in. I blew past them and deposited the contents of my mouth into the sink. When I came back into the bar the MPs were gone. Rob was laughing and said that they took one look at me, turned around and left. Which is a good thing because it was now 1:30 am and the curfew still applies to Rob. He said I am so obviously a civilian that they must have assumed Rob was too (he was wearing a wool cap that covered the GI cut).

Anyway, sister Mi Soon gently suggested that perhaps I should think about going home. I took her advice, bundled up against the cold (which oddly enough I barely noticed) and did the 15 minute trek back to my place. Was able to put in the security access code for the front door in only two tries! I even managed to undress before I hit the bed. Woke up around 7:00, drank some OJ, took some aspirin, and went back to bed until 10:00.

And now I feel just fine. Well, the soju has a lingering effect on the stomach, so I have, um, been spending some time in the bathroom but otherwise everything is good.

I am now going to do some vacuuming and cleaning. My Sunday dinner will be spaghetti and garlic bread and a little Merlot. I am baking a carrot cake for dessert. And I think tonight will be a great night for sitting quietly in front of the TV. And napping on my sofa.

So, that’s my story from Korea for today. Hope you enjoyed hearing about it at least half as much as I enjoyed living it.

Yes, I am overdue for an update. I keep waiting for something interesting to happen, but alas, my life is devoid of thrills right now. So bear with me.

My Korean language lessons are going pretty well. I don’t speak or comprehend much better than before, but I am learning to read and write Hangul (well, my written English is illegible, you should see my Hangul!). I don’t have all the vowels and consonants memorized yet, but I’m getting there. I find myself able to decipher some of the “letters” on signs and I can make the sound, but I still don’t know what the hell I’m reading. But considering it’s only week 3 of a twelve week program I guess I’m doing alright. I need to study harder.

Yesterday I had my dental appointment. I thought I was getting a cleaning. They called it “scaling” which is something different (at least for me). It felt like they took a layer of enamel off with some foul tasting compound and an industrial buffer. It was pretty close to intolerable, even with the lovely Dr. Kwon doing the mouth work. Her assistant was pretty much worthless (I think she was new or nervous or something). She squirted me with water and kept gagging me with the aspirator thing. Anyway, it was not pleasant and it cost me 80,000 WON to boot.

I had walked over from work, and it took almost an hour. Yeah, I am really getting into walking these days. Partly for my fitness, partly because I really don’t like driving here. You have got to be on your toes because the people here are all over the place. I had another close call at the dreaded intersection exiting my villa. This time the cab driver rolled down his window and cussed me out in Korean. So that was a first.

I came home and made myself a tuna sandwich on toast and fell asleep watching a Korean melodrama. I don’t understand anything they say (other than anyonghaseo and anyongheegaseo, hello/goodbye) but I really do kind of enjoy them anyway. This one last night was actually funny even without dialog. A young man is courting a sweet thing and I guess love is the same all over the world. It was two steps forward, one back but he kept on trying. In one scene he goes into a bar to drown his sorrows and hooks up with a “drinky” girl (I thought they only targeted foreigners). Anyway, he agrees to by her drink and the waitress brings over a tray with like 20 beers on it. So then they show them laughing and having a good time amongst the empty beer bottles and the girl gets up to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, he gets up to go too. So he is standing at the urinal and glances over to the next urinal and there’s the drinky “girl” standing there taking a leak. Pretty funny and a good lesson for me, although I was not inclined to consorting with the bar girls anyway. Too expensive and Carol does not approve. The other funny scene is when he meets his girlfriends mom and dad. The father is getting smashed on soju and grilling the boy while the mother appears just mortified that he wants to date her darling daughter. So for some reason the father makes the boy empty his pockets, and in one of them he has a condom. The mother goes nuts and the father is really giving him hell and drinking more soju until he finally passes out. Hmm, maybe you had to see it….

So, if the highlight of my Friday night was a Korean TV show you get the idea of my current state of affairs. But it really is alright. After I woke up I decided to put that big Jacuzzi tub to work and it was very nice.

Today I am doing laundry and will go to the commissary to stock up on groceries. I had thought of going back to the electronics market to browse, but it has turned cold again (40’s earlier this week, 19 this morning).

You know, I feel almost guilty about having subjected y’all to a post so devoid of anything interesting. But then I feel guilty when I don’t post because if you make the effort to visit me here, I should at least have something new to read. I guess the solution is for me to get a life so I can regale you stories of adventure and peril. I will get to work on that.

As soon as I finish the laundry.

In today’s news, I paid the rent. Two years in advance. In cash. $94,000. Here’s what it looked like:

That’s the most cold hard cash I have ever had in my hands at one time. I could get used to that kinda walkin’ around money. Alas, it was not to be. Handed it all over to the landlord tonight. Easy come, easy go I suppose. Or pehaps I should just say “your tax dollars at work!” Thank you everyone for providing me such a fine place to live!

I’ve been working hard, so I rewarded myself with a haircut today. It was good. Very good.

I took my camera to work today for that money shot, so I took advantage of the opportunity to photograph my co-workers. Let me introduce you:

Three of our Korean employees. L-R are Ms. Yi, Ms. Kim and Ms. Choe. None of them report to me, but they are all kind and friendly. In fact, Ms. Kim rode in the taxi with me to the Yongsan electronics market to get a part for my cell phone. She handled interpratation. Unfortunately, the part was not in stock, but it has been ordered.

Ms. Yi (another one, no relation) and Carl. Both direct reports to me. Ms. Yi is a very efficient administrative person who is always very pleasant and a joy to work with. She is smiling, cheerful and helpful and you can’t ask for more than that. Carl will be leaving me soon, but he is quite the character. He is very good at what he does and I am going to be hurting in a big way once he is gone.

Another one of my employees, Mr. Yi (again, no relation to the other Yi’s). I have been working this man like a dog. Never complains, just keeps on keeping on. A very nice man.

This is Lori, admin support for the Director of Civilian Personnel. She is married to an Army sergeant.

This is my counterpoint and fellow Chief, Arceilia. A great person who is very knowledgable and is someone I feel comfortable enough with to pick her brain about the issues I’m dealing with. Great part of the team.

And finally, on the left is Mr. Kim, a 50 year USFK employee and the most valuable member of my staff. This guys oozes intelligence and he is both very wise and soft spoken. He is our representative for the Korean Employees Union (KEU). On the right is Mr. Kang. He is the President of KEU and one of the more powerful labor leaders in the ROK. He has friends in high places and uses those contacts to benefit his membership but also to be a voice for USFK interests on many issues. A very impressive man, powerful, well spoken, but humble. He is extremely effective, and has earned the respect of the top generals and brass here in Korea.

Alright, y’all must be bored silly by now. I will do penance by stopping here and devoting the remainder of the evening to my Korean language homework.

More tomorrow.

The Lost Nomad links to this article in which it is reported that 71% of Korean women are unhappy with their appearance. I found that quite interesting because I had a Korean woman tell me the same thing. She said I hate the way my face looks with these high cheekbones. I just shook my head, because I think Korean women are generally incredibly attractive. Their facial features are quite lovely in my opinion. I suspect they compare themselves to some Western ideal of beauty (as displayed in magazines and movies), but I think Asians in general, and Koreans in particular, should celebrate their own unique features and style. As a casual observor (just an observer folks, I’m old, fat, and married) I would rank them high on the sexy scale.

Don’t take my word for it, judge for yourself. The Marmot’s Hole (another Korea blog) has this link to a photo shoot of some Korean lovelies playing in the snow. NOT WORK SAFE.

Nowhere. I’m just adjusting to my new surroundings and trying to find my feet. Everything’s cool though, so not to worry. Saturday I did some grocery shopping then went out for a couple of beers at Sweet Caroline’s. It’s gettin’ kind of old to be honest. I need to find more productive ways to entertain myself. I’m not that big on bars to begin with and its gotten to be about the only thing I do when I go out. Still I am looking forward to warmer weather which will make it a lot easier to explore.

Sunday I did the housekeeping chores, cleaning and washing clothes. So unlike me, but I’ve noticed that things don’t automatically get down around here like they did back home. Go figure. I also make it a point to cook myself a meal on Sunday (as opposed to using the microwave to thaw something out). Last week was burritos, this week beans and weenies, with biscuits, cheese and apples, and brownies for dessert. Hey, I never claimed I could actually cook anything to write home about (which obviously has not stopped me from doing so!).

Tonight I had my Korean language class. We are putting those consonants and vowels together now, and it is a little more difficult. I really need to focus on practicing at home.

I got a nice welcome card from my new dentist. My first mail delivered to the villa (my mail from the USA goes to the APO address). Here’s the envelope:

Pretty cool, huh? Just copy down that address and drop me a line anytime! Speaking of the dentist, I have my cleaning Friday afternoon. I am trying hard not to look forward to it. Maybe I will develop a life by then.

Things are busy at work but good. I will have some work-related news in the next week or two, but until its announced I will just have to hold my tongue.

Sorry I don’t have anything wonderful and exciting to report tonight, but real life gets like that sometimes. I just didn’t want y’all to think I had forgotten about you.