A close shave






Shaving off the beard proved to be a royal pain in the ass.  Took about six razors because they kept getting jammed with hair.  I had tried to buy one of those old fashioned razors with the double edged blade.  Found the blades but no razor to put them in.  So I bought a cheap-ass set of disposables and hacked away.  The ‘stache ain’t right yet, but I lost interest.  Now it’s off to get a haircut…


Justifying Justified

Commenter Kevin asks if I would recommend the television series Justified and if so, why?  The first part is easy: I highly recommend the show.  As to the why, I really suck at writing reviews so I’ll just offer up my general impressions and the things I liked enough to keep me watching (26 episodes in 48 hours).  Of course I don’t have a life, but still.

You can get a pretty good synopsis of the show’s premise at the link above.  Basically, it’s the story of the exploits of a quick-on-the-draw U.S. Marshal based in rural Kentucky.  Think of Matt Dillon in the 21st century.  Timothy Olyphant (you probably remember him from Deadwood) is outstanding in the lead role as Raylan Givens.  In the category of things I like, consistently excellent acting from almost all the featured characters is pretty high on my list.

I have a pretty low tolerance for stupid so I find it difficult to find shows on TV that hold my interest.  The writing on Justified is witty and gritty.  There’s plenty of action to keep you entertained, but the writers also develop complex and believable characters that you can care about.  Even the bad guys.  I was pleasantly surprised to find a television series set in the South that didn’t rely on the tired old stupid redneck stereotypes.  Don’t get me wrong, the show is chock full of hillbillies, but lots of them are quite intelligent despite the way they talk.  Just like in real life.  I particularly like Boyd Crowder, Deputy Marshal Givens’ main antagonist.  The “uneducated” son of a coal miner and Harlan County’s crime boss sounds stupid until you listen to what he says–who’d expect a dumb hick to be quoting Walt Whitman?  I especially liked how the carpetbaggers from Detroit “misunderestimated” their adversary.  Wish YouTube had some decent clips I could share of some of those interactions.  Anyway, it’s just refreshing to see Southerners portrayed as other than caricatures.

Each season has it’s own story arc, which helps keep things fresh what with characters being killed off and new ones introduced.  I’ve found it all consistently entertaining and I think you will to.  Enjoy


This week’s accomplishments include a marathon viewing of Justified episodes.  Watched all of season 3 and season 4 via my Amazon Prime account.  For some reason Amazon wants to charge me to watch season 5 (probably owing to its recentness).  As entertaining and enjoyable as I find watching this series, I reckon I’ll wait until I can see it for free.

The new roof is up.  They came out yesterday afternoon and started in with all the associated noise and ruckus which precluded my normal afternoon nap.  They were still up there working when I left for some pub league dart action.  I guess all that pounding set off my alarm system.  I missed the call from ADT so they called the daughter to ask about sending out the police.  She managed to reach me and I told her all was well.  Although I’m guessing by the time the police might have been dispatched all my worldly possessions would have been long gone.

The work in progress.  They didn't finish yesterday so this morning I awoke to the sound of nail guns being fired into the roof.  At 0730.

The work in progress. They didn’t finish yesterday so this morning I awoke to the sound of nail guns being fired into the roof. At 0730.

And in other news, there is no other news.  I’m still without a wife so I’ll be traveling to Myrtle Beach for the Ghost on the Coast dart tournament this weekend all by my lonesome.  Well, according to this article, learning new words activates the same pleasure centers in the brain as sex and drugs.  So maybe I’ll take along a thesaurus.  .

Git ‘er done

Yep, JD's Too was a classic redneck dive.  I kinda liked it.

Yep, JD’s Too was a classic redneck dive. I kinda liked it.

So last night I ventured out to the Dixiana hamlet for an evening of darts.  I was immediately struck by a full display of every Confederate flag used during the short life of that failed republic.  I assumed the battle flag with the “Git-er-Done” entreaty was meant to inspire me to darting greatness.  Sadly, that was not to be the case.  One dart away from victory and I inexplicably imploded.  Damn, I hate when that happens.  Lost to a couple of Yankees to boot (New York and Detroit).  Ah well, I shall not forget and the Walrus will rise again!

Well, at least I have a roof over my head.  Back in May there was a massive hail storm.  Since my return from the ROK I’ve been besieged by roofing contractors wanting me to file an insurance claim for a new roof.  At first I couldn’t be bothered with it, but this week I finally relented and called the insurance adjustor.  Sure enough, I had damage that warranted replacement.  So I’m getting a new roof.  The $1000. deductible stings a bit, but with the house going on 20 years old I’d likely need to replace the roof at some point anyway.

So this stuff showed up in my yard yesterday.  I wondered if I should have specified that I wanted the new roof installed?

So this stuff showed up in my yard yesterday. I wonder if I should have specified that I wanted the new roof installed?

And in other news, I’ve made my peace with the guy running the dart league.  I wrote about that conflict here.  I was grousing to a couple of dart buddies about the situation and after listening politely to my rant, one of them said “so when are you going to man up and talk to the guy to resolve this?”  Realizing he was right in that there is no point in walking around with a huge grudge on your back, I extended the olive branch.  We basically agreed to disagree on the issue, put the matter behind us, and move on.  I think we both feel better about it and now I can get back to just focusing on my game while ignoring the politics.

And that’s about it.  I took note of the fact that I had a 48 hour period this past week where I had absolutely no human interaction whatsoever.  I am a rock.  I touch no one and no one touches me.


Losing it


Regular readers know I’m all about avoiding the drama that seems to inevitably follow the dart scene.  While I was in Korea there was a falling out with the owner of the venue that hosted our singles league here in Columbia.  I wrote about that here.  So the upshot of that unpleasantness is the league moved to another bar.

I played a match last week at the old bar.  When I turned in the score sheet the guy running the league was not happy.  He told me if I played at any other bar again he wouldn’t count my score.  I pointed out that nothing in the rules dictated where matches had to be played.  He said this bar is hosting the league.  I said are they paying the league money for us to be here?  No, so why does it matter where I play?  And then he told me he wasn’t going to discuss it further.

Later, on the league Facebook page he wrote that since “CWs was kind enough to give us a place to play”, all matches had to be played there.  This was my response:

It is “kind” indeed that CW’s has so graciously allowed us to come and spend our money at their bar and play darts in their otherwise unused back room. And while I’m sure we owe them a debt of gratitude for that act of generosity, it does seem to me an equal amount of loyalty is owed to the players in the league. Since CW’s is not financially supporting the league, I don’t understand why if a player finds it more convenient or desirable to play at a different venue and his opponent agrees, why you or anyone else would have an issue with that. Prior to the start of the season I asked ” I assume I can play my matches at another venue by mutual agreement with my opponent, correct?” and you responded “yeah”.(see post on September 30). So the only misunderstanding or confusion I’m seeing is how the “rules” were changed mid-stream. Did I miss a vote or something? Regardless, I believe that playing the matches is what we are about, not where we play the matches. I’ll abide by the dictates of the league leadership if I must, but if I’m ever disrespected again for asking a question I’m gone. Or you can fire me now. Your choice.

He responded by berating me for taking our dispute public.  And the kicker was he said if I had an issue I should have talked to him about it off-line.  Which is precisely what he refused to do when I attempted it.

Well, I founded the league but I don’t pretend to own it.  When I was running things folks were free to play wherever they wanted.  I’m not running things now and apparently the new dictator is going to do it his way.  I considered taking the highway but without darts I basically have no life.  So I’ll just have to suck it up, even if doing so, well, sucks.

And that Facebook comment and this post represent the total extent of my caring.  Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

Off the Rails

Last night I played the Friday darts tourney at a new (to me) bar called Off the Rail.  The owner’s name is Jim, but that’s where any similarity with Dolce Vita Pub begins and ends.  The bar sits across the railroad tracks from the Sandhills shopping center.  You might say it sits on the wrong side of the tracks as it’s a bit of a dive.  The clientele last night consisted of a handful of darters, some bikers, and various other working class types.  Nothing wrong with that of course, and we all got along.

The bar is within spitting distance of the tracks and as I was preparing to make a dart throw a passing freight train blew it’s horn at a road crossing.  I nearly jumped out of my shoes but managed to hold on to the dart and recompose myself.  This is certainly not the place to play if you are easily distracted.

The match itself went alright I suppose.  I got teamed up with owner Jim and we made it to the finals.  He claims to have thrown before and truth be told he wasn’t a bad shot.  But he had no real concept on how to play the game.  For example, when we were playing single in/double out 501 Jim would ask before EVERY throw “what do you want me to do here”.  Now, this is a basic game–you start at 501 and subtract the score of your three dart throw until you get to zero (you have to finish on a double; for example, if you have 32 left you’d throw a double 16).  There is no real strategy at the beginning of the game other than to get the highest score you can on your darts (the best possible throw is 180–three triple 20s).  I admit I’m not the most patient person you’re likely to meet, but it was pretty frustrating to continuously repeat throughout the night “just throw your darts at the 20 and subtract whatever you hit”.

Actually, I don’t mind helping inexperienced players improve their game.  My problem with Jim was he kept disappearing on me.  It would be his turn to throw and we’d have to drag him away from the bar where he was chatting up customers.  He didn’t seem to have any real interest in the match we were playing and he had zero appreciation for how rude it is to keep people waiting during a game.  I was so disgusted that by the time we made it to the finals I suggested to the other team that we just call it a tie and split 1st and 2nd place money 50-50.  They agreed I think because they could see I was in agony.

As I was fixing to leave I noticed a van had parked in such a way as to block my car access to the only exit I was aware of.  Rather than try and track down the errant van driver I went looking for another path of egress.  First I walked along the tracks behind Off the Rail only to encounter a dead end.  So then I walked a bit in the other direction and found a driveway alongside another business.  It took some maneuvering but I managed to make it out of the parking lot and safely home.

So that was my Off the Rails experience last night.  Sad to say it was one of the better nights I’ve had recently.  C’est la vie.


I read the news today, oh boy…

I'm not shaving (or smiling) much these days it seems...

I’m not shaving (or smiling) much these days it seems…

Just over a month into this American life and I’ve got say there is nothing much blog worthy to report other than “it sucks”.  Don’t believe me?  Let me share with you the events of this day in the life.

It began with an early (or late if you will) morning of television (Shameless) and a marathon round of Civilization that kept me plopped down in front of the computer until shortly after 3:00 a.m.  With my eyes burning and blurry I finally made my way to bed.

My sleep was more restless than usual and I awoke at 5:30 feeling cold.  Since my bed was devoid of a warm body to cuddle with, I fumbled in the dark for the switch to turn on my Korean-style heating pad.  Nothing like a warmth coming from below and soon enough I was back in slumber-land.

I opened my eyes again around 9:30 but basked in the glow of my hot bed (during the night I had kicked off the sheet and comforter, reckon I ought to dial it down a notch or two).  Hunger pangs finally drove me from my crib a little after ten.  Feeling unusually motivated, I baked up a batch of blueberry muffins rather than more normal fare of cereal and milk.  While the muffins were baking I rolled the trash receptacle to the curb.

The muffins came out warm and tasty and with my hunger satiated I commenced to do the laundry.  Two loads, whites and darks.  Even laundered the bedding.  My policy (recent though it may be–I had a maid in Korea and more recently a now absent wife) is to wash the sheets once a month whether they need it or not.  They probably did as I tend to frequent night sweats.

With the LG appliances humming about their business, I ventured out into the internets to catch up on world events.  Nothing had improved since I’d last checked.  I did leave a longish comment to this post on the Big Hominid’s blog concerning the high price of fuel.  Nothing all that insightful on my part, but certainly of more substance than the crap I post here at LTG.  And while you are over at Kevin’s blog make sure you read his outstanding post on the afterlife.  Death looms ever larger in my thoughts these days, but like Kevin I have my doubts about going to a better place (or anyplace for that matter) when my body finally succumbs to the daily abuse to which I subject it.  Heh, just thought of that old Blood, Sweat and Tears song “And when I die“.

I then proceeded to make my moves in Words with Friends, a Scrabble like game I play online.  I have multiple matches going with my brother and an old friend from Korea who now resides in Canada.

After I folded and put away the laundry I made up the bed with that fresh linen.  Feeling a sense of accomplishment, I sat back down in front of the computer and fired up a new round of Civilization.  A couple of hours later I heard rain pounding on the roof, so I opened the front door and watched that for awhile.

I got hungry again so I made myself a ham and cheese sandwich.  Then I checked the mail (just a water bill) and rolled the trash can back to the house.

I had a dart league captain’s meeting to attend tonight so I jumped in the shower, got dressed, and drove into downtown Columbia to a pub called Publick House.  On the way I stopped at Walgreen’s and bought a carton of smokes and three twelve-packs of Diet Coke.  Whatever gets you through the day, right?

I had nothing much to say at the meeting, mostly because I don’t care all that much about the pub league.  Things moved on during my lengthy absence and I’m kinda the outsider now, or at least it feels that way.  That, and I’m in a generally foul mood lately.  Not mad or upset with anyone in particular, just don’t give a shit about a league I helped found.  Or much of anything else really.  I think people took my silence as being more than it is though.  I’m not all that friendly on my best days, and I haven’t had a “best” day since I got back in country.

After the meeting we played some darts.  I didn’t throw all that well and my partner played worse, so it was two and done for us.  Paid my tab, tipped the waitress, and drove on home.

Sent the wife a message telling her I need her to come home to me.  She responded that she is getting really frustrated with the landlord and is ready to say fuck it (I’m paraphrasing) and leave.  I don’t really understand why she can’t move out before the apartment sells, I guess it may have something to do with getting her rather substantial key money back (somewhere in the neighborhood of $150,000).  Anyway, she’s going to give it a few more days and then make arrangements to return to the USA.  Her caveat is that if and when the apartment sells, she’ll need to return to Korea.  My attitude is we’ll see what happens when and if that time comes.

I finished the day by writing this depressing and meaningless post.  Which I guess is an apt description of my American life.

And now you know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.

Are you coming?


According to this article in  Mail Online, “there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm, a clitoral orgasm or even a G-spot  Instead, the umbrella term ‘female orgasm’ should be used, the study authors argue.”

Well, I guess it was just a matter of time until the political correctness virus invaded the sanctity of our bedrooms.  I’m no scientist but I have it on good authority that there are in fact three types of female orgasms.  An old girlfriend told me so.  Of course, I asked her to explain and here’s what told me.

First, you have the affirmative orgasm which sounds like this: oh yes! oh yes! oh yes!

And then there’s the religious orgasm: oh god! oh god! oh god!

“So, what’s the third type?” I asked her.

She laughed and said well that’s the fake orgasm–“oh John! oh John! oh John!”

I don’t miss that bitch at all.




Nada y nada

Not much posting going on here at LTG of late, but the fact of the matter is there just isn’t much happening in my life worthy of note.  Of course, that’s never stopped me from writing about nothing before.  Truth is, I’m in a bit of a funk.  It goes beyond mere boredom.  I was often bored in Korea as well, but at least I wasn’t so damn lonely.  Yes, I miss my wife.

I’m one of those types who just doesn’t seem to fare well on his own.  I tend to sink into an abyss of unmotivated laziness.  Jee Yeun would shame me out of my worst behaviors, like sitting around in my underwear all day smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.  Well, the television is better quality that the Statler Brothers enjoyed but you get my meaning.  I’ve also been playing Civilization marathons which fills the hours but leaves me feeling unsatisfied and a little depressed.  I’m just wasting time, however comfortably and well.  And at my age, the last thing I should be doing is wasting whatever time I might have left.  I reckon I ought to put a boot up my ass and break out of this cycle of despair.  Just not sure where to start and I’m feeling trapped.  Fuck it.  I’ll think of something.

If it weren’t for darts I might not ever leave the house.  I’ve taken road trips to play in Charlotte and Aiken, and tomorrow I’m going to head up to Greenville for the afternoon to shoot in a regional qualifier.  I’ve been a little disappointed with the degradation of the dart scene here in Columbia.  Some personality conflicts have created a situation where darts are no longer played at my favorite pub.  I did my best to mend those fences but to no avail.  So I’m breaking out on my own and starting a new tournament that I’m calling #TDT (throw darts Thursday).  Not sure I can bring people back but I’ll give it a shot.

And that’s about it.  I haven’t heard from Jee Yeun for a few days.  I’m guessing they don’t have internet in the countryside or something.  Last time we talked (messaged) she said she’d be coming home to me as soon as she can get moved out of her apartment.  I’m hoping that means sometime this month.

“It’s like I told you, only the lonely can play…”