Comments Posted By Kevin Kim
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These are definitely uncharted waters, and Dick sounds more than a bit whacked. He’s been clearly told (assuming Pearl wasn’t lying) that you and Pearl are a couple, and he still pulls this shit? One way to look at it is that you’ll have to be assertive and fight for your woman. Another way to look at it is that Pearl is still too accepting of male attention (even of the desperate kind) because it strokes her ego. I guess you’ll have to figure out whether Pearl is worth standing up for. Good luck with that. My instinct is that you’ll need to talk with Dick directly and set him straight. You both seem to be on speaking terms, after all. “Hey, Dick—you do understand that Pearl and I are thing, right? So hands off, and stop with the ‘I wanna have kids with you’ stuff.” I get the impression that Dick thinks you’re not a serious contender for Pearl’s affections—an old irrelevancy. And that’s why he persists. This is a dangerous attitude for him to take.
God, the whole thing is weird.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 16/December/2021 @ 5:31 pm
“Sit-n-Bowl”
A typo, or is that really the new name of the place?
If I could travel back in time to talk to the old Kevin, I’d tell him he’s got some comma problems in his writing:
“But the story of the passion and resurrection nevertheless holds power for me, because it’s a story about a man who put everything down, including his own life, for the sake of love.”
No comma before “because”: the dependent clause comes second in the sentence, so there’s no need for a comma. And:
“We face the world with fear, and create clever rationales for our spiritual cowardice.”
No comma before “and” because that’s a compound predicate, not a compound sentence. Had there been a subject after the comma (“we”), then the comma would have been justified.
I might go back into my archives and correct all that.
I don’t know where this is going with Pearl, but do consider that the age difference may have a lot to do with current difficulties. You say you often prefer women in their thirties, but even that represents a nearly two-generation gap. People in different generations think differently and have different priorities, different values. They see the world differently. You’ll never consider going out with a woman closer to you in age—say, in her fifties or early sixties? Your values might mesh a little better, and because you’ve both been down the road, there’s a chance you’ll bond over life experiences that have made you who you are. If you reject the notion of going out with older women, though, then that might simply be because you’re a horny old goat chasing tight asses. Anyway, as I’ve said before, Pearl is a little girl, so she’s going to act like one. Finding an old soul in a young body is a rarity. I’m not saying any of this because I find the age-gap thing creepy; I’m just pointing out that an age difference translates to differences in values, comportment, etc. Are the tight asses worth it?
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 14/December/2021 @ 7:13 pm
A book on personality types that I’ve had for years talks about the so-called “Pygmalion Project,” in which one lover tries to make the other lover over in his or her image (referencing the GB Shaw play Pygmalion, which became the musical “My Fair Lady,” in which a professor takes an uncultured woman and remakes her into a proper lady). The personality book was of the opinion that people ought to love each other for who they are, not for what we’d like them to be. No Pygmalion Project! There is, of course, a fine line: if, for example, my lover is into hard drugs, I’ll definitely do what I can to get her off them because I know the drugs will ultimately wreck her life. But drinking the way you do? I don’t get the impression that you’re an eternally drunken Irishman, so here’s hoping Pearl recognizes this and leaves you alone. Then again, there may be room for negotiation. If you’re serious about having her in your life, perhaps you can compromise a bit. A little compromise might be good; you don’t want to be too crusty and inflexible.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 13/December/2021 @ 3:00 pm
A good day, all in all.
So you go around chin-masking while Pearl fully wears her mask?
That burger plate looked a bit meager. Despite that, it sounds as though this was a good day, aside from Dick-related weirdness. I hope that situation resolves itself clearly and soon. If weeks go by and Dick is still clinging to his fantasy, it could be that Pearl is, while not exactly leading him on, not giving clear enough signals that he should fuck off. That may become your manly duty. Pearl might even be expecting you to act assertively like an Asian man (getting back to what Brian said earlier about cultural expectations). Again, I don’t know what Filipinas actually expect or want. That’s just a guess.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 12/December/2021 @ 7:24 pm
Call him Dick. And tread carefully. This smells like a weird situation to me.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 10/December/2021 @ 5:22 pm
I stand corrected!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 09/December/2021 @ 9:03 pm
“I bit my lip, but my thought was if you ain’t gonna play to win, why play at all? Punk.”
I thought it was all about the fun and splitting the prize money. No?
I suspect the opponent was simply covering for having sucked.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 09/December/2021 @ 5:10 pm
Sounds as if you had fun despite the Pearl stuff going downhill (she’s with [that guy] again, eh? he’s workin’ her hard).
At least your tombstone will read, “Didn’t find a wife, but I fucked half the village.”
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 08/December/2021 @ 4:14 pm
“Cookie recipients. I was very surprised to see the kid on the right wearing a Corona Hash (from Angeles City) shirt. How it came to him out here in the backwoods of Subic is a mystery.”
And then there’s the kid in the middle, grabbing his crotch.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 07/December/2021 @ 5:19 pm
As all the other commenters are saying, relationships take work. If you conclude the payoff isn’t worth the effort, well, I’m not gonna judge that. You have to do whatever makes you happy. Just don’t chase after ideals you don’t really hold or illusory concepts of love/care that will never bear fruit in the real world. Follow your bliss, as Joseph Campbell liked to say.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 07/December/2021 @ 3:50 pm
Well, I’d still like to root for your relationship in this case. If you can both forgive and continue communicating, things might work out, whatever “work out” means in the long term. Pearl doesn’t seem toxic in the way some past relationships were; she’s just a bit superficial. That could change over time. Good luck!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 06/December/2021 @ 1:38 pm
Thunderheads on the horizon already, eh? Not good. Anyway, I’ll continue to hope for the best. From my perspective, if you leave out the age question, Pearl checks all the right boxes. She has struck me as low-maintenance; she’s not a single mother (huge plus); she doesn’t come off as a beggar or a gold-digger (another huge plus); she shares some of your major interests. That’s a good foundation for a relationship. My main concern was that you guys plunged into the sex phase way too quickly, but there may be a cultural component that I’m missing, here, so I’ve been hesitant to say anything.
What is it that you’re looking for in a relationship? If you’re looking for a woman who is simultaneously young and coltish while also having the sense of responsibility of an older woman, I’m afraid such a bird is exceedingly rare. Pearl seems to me, so far, to be the best you’re going to get. But if you’re concerned with how life with her is upsetting your old routines, then the focus on self may mean that you’re not really ready for the work it takes to engage in loving commitment. You can’t have the love without putting in the work. Anyway, that’s all a lot of preachiness; I continue to root for you both, and if you’ve survived your first fight, then good.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 05/December/2021 @ 8:28 am
Those rolling electric scooters are all over Korea. I think I’ve photographed a few empty scooters during my long walks. I never see their owners.
Great pics of the walk, as always.
As to the question of Pearl versus beer, I assume (hope) there’s no need to deliberate over the answer to that. If some old habits have to die a grudging death as you adjust to this new normal, then so be it. You’re making room for someone new and important in your life, and that means allowing her to mess with your boundaries a bit. Not too much, of course, but you’ve got to be able to compromise. Keep in mind that she’s young and energetic, and she wants to Do Stuff. Plus, she sees the world through the still-fresh eyes of a twenty-something lass.
But let me ask you, and I realize it may be too early… do you see potential for the “L” word to raise its gorgeous head? Are things possibly moving in that direction? (Maybe I should ask that after your first fight-and-forgiveness session. A fight will test the fundamental strength of the relationship.)
Anyway, things seem to be going great, overall. What’s really encouraging is how you’ve both bonded over the simple act of loving to walk. The PI is a happy labyrinth of places to explore, and if Pearl is willing, you both can go explore it together.
Damn… what if you got Pearl interested in darts?
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 04/December/2021 @ 7:55 pm
Sounds like another good restaurant to put into your rotation. I do hope the resto manages to preserve quality while still offering everything at cheap prices. That’s a difficult balance.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 03/December/2021 @ 8:07 pm
Eternally shirtless Almoranus is looking a mite less ripped and a bit more man-booby and paunchy these days. Too much beer?
If Pearl’s major flaw is that she’s occasionally late—just like other women—I’d say that’s not tragic. Annoying, but not tragic. Keep in mind that, in many ways, she’s still just a little girl, and little girls are prone to doing goofy things. That’s the price you pay, as an older man, when you date someone that young: you put up with the foibles of youth. She’ll learn eventually, and I’m sure you’ll communicate your expectations and boundaries civilly.
As for keeping the blog a secret… I won’t mind if you stop blogging about Pearl so that you can “bury” your Pearl-related posts under several successive posts and then reveal your blog to her some days later. I doubt she’ll troll your archives in an attempt to find posts about herself, and even if she does, it’s not as though you’ve talked shit about her. Keeping the blog a secret can become toxic, especially if too much time passes. And if you’re serious about this relationship, I think you ought to allow Pearl a say re: whether and to what degree she will appear on your blog. This is an issue to resolve sooner rather than later; if too much time goes by, and then she discovers your blog on her own, she might, at the very least, become uncomfortable (especially if you write, even vaguely, about what goes on under the covers).
I know you want to keep the blog private precisely because it’s your place to vent—I get that. But if you’re allowing this woman into your life, then you’re already committed to ceding some of your personal space. Letting her know about the blog is a gesture of trust. (Of course, letting her know about the blog carries the risk that she might tell others about your blog, so that’s worth considering as well.)
Anyway, you do you. The above is only my opinion. I got burned once when a Korean lady I was going out with discovered some stuff I’d written on my blog about her; she misinterpreted what I’d written (it wasn’t malicious, but she thought it was), and she imperiously demanded that I take the post in question down. I did, lamely. I sometimes think that, had I told her about the blog beforehand, things might’ve been different. I don’t know. Suffice it to say that, should I ever get a funny little honey of my own again, I’ll will not blog anything about her without her express permission.
Anyway, I think more communication and openness is better than less. You might no longer be able to vent about Pearl on the blog once she knows about your site, or it may turn out that she’s like my boss and coworkers, all of whom know about my main blog but never bother to read it because they’re just not into blog-reading. I’m sure you’ll figure out what works best for you.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 02/December/2021 @ 4:19 pm
I’m in the middle of a fast right now, so I envy you your meal. Looks to have been a good lunch date. And the coasters are already being put to good use!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 01/December/2021 @ 5:40 pm
I guess it’s lucky that your Hash is still counted as a Hash even with the shortcuts you guys normally take. Nice hike; great photos.
Was Pearl working or something? Is that why I don’t see her in the group? Or is she in the pics, but I missed her?
Did 18-kilo Ass have a beard at the outset, or is this a recent development?
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 30/November/2021 @ 6:09 pm
Better that sort of drama than other sorts. I hope the cousin’s okay.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 29/November/2021 @ 2:07 pm
Always nice to find someone who shares your interests and is (if I’m reading between the lines correctly) pretty low maintenance. May there be many more such days ahead for you both!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 27/November/2021 @ 5:20 pm
Good hike, good food… what more could you want?
Wait—don’t answer that.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 25/November/2021 @ 4:15 pm
As for back pain, well, I don’t know the exact nature of your particular pain, but my dad used to lie in bed or on the ground and bring his knees to his chest to stretch out his lower back. He’d stay like that for a few minutes, hugging his knees. When my little brothers were younger and much smaller, Dad would sometimes lie on his front and ask one of my brothers to walk slowly all over his back. Maybe Pearl could do that for you if she’s light enough. Nice way to get intimate. She just needs to watch her balance.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 24/November/2021 @ 6:09 pm
Meeting the mother already feels like a healthier step. So far, things seem to be going well with Pearl. Continued good luck, both with Pearl and with darts!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 24/November/2021 @ 4:30 pm
Bars of Barretto: Mango’s Beach Bar
Sounds as if Mango’s deserves its high ranking.
Back when I was going out with Seung-min (called her “Ligament” on the blog back in the day), we once had a provocative conversation about slang expressions for pussy-eating. I mentioned “eating a peach” as one US English term for the act (do the Brits say that, too? dunno); Seung-min, who knew Japanese, said the Japanese slang was “eating a mango,” probably for the same notion of juices running down your chin as you gobble. As a result, every time you’ve mentioned Mango’s on your blog, that’s where my thoughts go.
As far as I can tell, the Korean slang is simply “eat pussy,” no fruits mentioned, although there is a Japanese-derived term for the act (sakachi, makes me think “suck-crotchy”).
Enjoy that mango!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 23/November/2021 @ 2:41 pm
May your back heal up soon so you can do all the acrobatic kama sutra positions you normally do with your funny little honey.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 23/November/2021 @ 1:21 am
Bars of Barretto: Finger Monkeys
I wish them good luck, but “Finger Monkeys” calls to mind finger-banging.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 22/November/2021 @ 10:48 am
Signs seem good so far. She’s bringing you thoughtful gifts, even if they’re just meds, and she’s not begging for money. Boom-boom is happening too fast, but from what you’ve written about local Filipina ladies, they mostly seem easy like that, so maybe this is perfectly normal. I wouldn’t know. Anyway, continued good luck. Maybe she really does care. Wouldn’t that be a nice change? I’m cautiously optimistic.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 22/November/2021 @ 12:23 am
There’s a place in Virginia Beach that apparently functions as a regular, innocent restaurant by day, then becomes The Voodoo Lounge at night. At a certain time in the evening, the lighting changes, some curtains come down to give the walls a different color, the music changes, and the place suddenly comes alive as an “adult” establishment. I heard about all this from a friend; I’ve never been myself. Not my kind of place, but I’d love to visit right at the moment of transition. The Voodoo you visited sounds a lot tamer.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 21/November/2021 @ 1:31 pm
Dipping our Tibag in the creek
Quite a walking adventure! And congrats, once again, on your darts victory. I guess it’s nice to be able to walk away from a game without feeling the need to determine who the true winner is. I rarely get competitive, but in the rare cases where I do, I normally want to see the game through to the bitter end. Hats off to you for not being that way.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 20/November/2021 @ 11:59 pm
Well, “getting it right” will mean being loyal to one woman and not practicing the “friends with benefits” thing with others. Good luck. Just be mindful of Rule #1, I guess.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 19/November/2021 @ 5:43 pm
Bars of Barretto: Rock Lobster
«« Back To Stats PageRock Lobster with Peter Griffin:
https://youtu.be/pn26ZJhSJ94Iraq Lobster:
https://youtu.be/2ZxdOeXUiJ0» Posted By Kevin Kim On 19/November/2021 @ 5:35 pm