XXXX came out of the bedroom this morning carrying a bag full of the clothes she had left here. I knew at the moment she was leaving for good. I had to press her to get her to admit that fact though. As to the why, the best she could come up with was that I wasn’t happy with her. She wasn’t entirely wrong about that, but I wasn’t the one who was so willing to give up. Then again, I guess she has another option waiting in the wings.
Yesterday afternoon I went to XXXX’s place to see her. Of course, she was seated with Dick and his pals. That morning we had planned to spend some time together doing something unspecified–maybe some time at the beach or watching movies on TV. XXXX did come outside to join me but seemed distracted somehow. I asked her what she wanted to do and she didn’t have any suggestions. I asked about dinner, and she said where? I suggested Mango’s or somewhere on Baloy. She said let’s just get takeout and eat at your place.
And then it got kind of weird. She’s sitting right next to me but starts sending text messages. “You go first, I’ll meet you at your place”. I answered verbally, no, let’s go and order our food together and go home together. Another message that she wanted to leave separately. Well, I wasn’t going to fight about it then and there, but I knew this was a subject that required some serious discussion. I went to Mango’s and ordered pork chops and roast chicken for takeout. When the food was ready I texted her to meet me outside Mango’s (it’s only a block from her place). She told me to wait. So I waited. After several minutes, I texted back in frustration “where are you?”. No response. Fuck this, I walked back to her place. She was sitting outside alone. She said I ordered kebabs. Why? I’ve already got the food. About this time the kebabs came, she put them with the rest of the food and told me to go first and she would meet me at home. Whatever. I left.
I admit I was in a sour mood after she arrived. We ate in silence, then watched a movie on Netflix, and then went to bed. This morning she packed up and left me.
So, she says it’s because of my behavior as described above. Since I got angry with her it means I’m not happy in the relationship. Maybe she’s right and maybe I’m the one who should have left her. But I was willing to at least try and find a way to make it work. She wasn’t.
Isn’t that the story of my life?
Sorry to hear that. She is attractive and you enjoyed your time with her. But it’s hard to be with a woman that keeps spending time with someone like pig vomit. Try not to let it bother you.
“I admit I was in a sour mood after she arrived. We ate in silence, then watched a movie on Netflix, and then went to bed. This morning she packed up and left me.”
There’s something spare and beautiful about this.
Thought it best to throw in a compliment before saying I told you so. The young lady’s purported middle classness has little or nothing to do with the openminded intelligence of her choices. That’s true the world over. In fact, that little extra cluedupness might only serve to arm her with more cunning. As to well, why would she opt for the nutty Dick (who has probably privately assured her of his willingness to provide more money for her and hers than you), I think we are already answering the question. That’s also true the world over: Women making bad male partnership choices. (Maybe being an emotional wreck in the Philippines doesn’t subtract from one’s alpha credentials…)
They are spinning plates my friend.
There’s another aspect to this which I’m not sure I can couch sensitively enough. So I will leave it to Robert Burns.
O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An’ foolish notion:
What airs in dress an’ gait wad lea’e us,
An’ ev’n devotion!
(Please understand that I’m not calling you a louse.)
Anyway, relax. You’re sitting pretty. Free, sufficiently monied, mobile, and ever a little wiser.
This whole thing has been one unpredictable roller coaster. Aspects of it seemed to good to be true, and based on the topsy-turvy nature of everything, I get the feeling this might not be done yet. Sit tight. She might end up texting you again after she’s had time to stew. Of course, it’s up to you to decide how much drama you’re willing to tolerate. For the moment, all I can say is, Sorry to hear things turned out as they did.
Was surprised to hear how aware she was, this whole time, of Dick’s amorous intentions, and yet she still persists in labeling him “friend.” The denial is strong in her. Or maybe she has had a thing for him this whole time: we all love it when someone pays attention to us, and Dick is pretty obsessive on that score (despite also being handsy with other women).
But it sounds as if Pearl is taking the typical “amputate, don’t negotiate” route of so many young Asian women. Easier to move on than to work the problems out. I think my early intuition that she’s young and immature—therefore flighty—was correct. But again, how much youthful zigzaggery are you willing to tolerate?
In many ways, she seemed like a better catch than all of the previous women. Seems sad to add her name to a growing roster, but as I said, it could well be the story’s not over. Not to give you false hope or anything, but if there’s one thing we’ve all learned on the subject of Pearl, it’s that she defies prediction.
Take your walk. Clear your head. Wait a bit.
Sorry: TOO good to be true
Ohhh too soon to end….sorry…but this saga had excited some of your readers for having a twist in your LTG ….another story a normal person has to tell….we hang on this!
Oh dear
Now that the couple has their first break-up the readers take a chance to kick the poor fella while he’s down ?
Sad
And now the kicking. You’ll probably get back together sometime soon.
After such a short burst of high drama and emotional upheaval, soon you’ll learn to separate wheat from the chaff.
You are the nagging wife in this situation. Always going to her workplace ,inviting her for dinner when she’s busy entertaining clients. And when you saw how hot one of her major clients was, you got jealous and threw a tantrum that lasted for days til it boiled over into this mess here.
At least you had some good days. You changed your ways and even reduced your walking/drinking habits to visit her at work. If she was an actual bargirl whose duties included paying special attention to certain VIP clients then you would have been involved in fisticuffs much earlier.
Commiserations.
Now I suppose you’ll get back to counting all your walking steps and drinking more with your favorite bargirls in town. You may even improve your dart game 🎯 to become once again the champion of Barretto.
John,
Ditch all this drama and find a Philippine nurse to be you lover. There are a lot of them in the U.S. and they are very sweet, pretty, and have their own money. Surely, they exist in the Philippine Islands also.
PS: This is the first advice to the lovelorn I’ve ever given, so take it with a grain of salt.
Sad to hear – sounds like you had some fun while it lasted which is something.
“…amputate, don’t negotiate” – I think my wife went to the same school where this is taught.
Terry, “pig vomit”, that’s a good one! I hope she is smarter than to actually hook up with Dick, but I have my doubts. I’ll be fine, it’s always good when someone reveals the true nature of their character.
Dan, I deserve an “I told you so”. The warning signs were all there, I just tried to ignore them. Thanks for the Burns poem, although I’m not sure I understand it completely, maybe I’ll try Google translate. 🙂 Yeah, I’m blessed. I’ll just sit back and wait for the next big thing.
Kev, yes, it was quite a ride. I’ve considered what I would do if she wanted to try again. Honestly, I hope I’d have the strength and wisdom to say no. Probably better if she doesn’t ask. And yeah, that “amputate” method is what I find most hard to forgive. Who walks away from love over a disagreement or misunderstanding? If it ain’t worth fighting for, it ain’t love.
BW, glad to be so entertaining! 🙂
James, that’s one way to look at it I suppose, but from my perspective, I was only asking for what a girlfriend is supposed to offer–companionship. That she preferred the company of her “customers” really tells me all I needed to know. And yeah, life goes on, I’ll be fine.
Chip, all the good nurses must be taken! But yeah, that’s really what I want–a woman who’ll stay by my side through thick and thin, take care of me in good times and bad and share in my adventures. I’ll give the same in return.
QP, yeah, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Sorry it ended the way it did, but thems the breaks.
Sorry that it turned out the way it did. Unfortunate, but better that you found out early in the relationship.
The more I think about what Kevin commented a few days ago about ages difference, the more I think he has a very valid point.
Trying to get into a relationship with a 20 something is probably an exercise in futility. If you were back in the States and all things being equal, who do you think you could have a meaningful relationship with; a 20 something or someone a bit more mature? If you answer is the more mature woman, why would you think the PI would be any different?
If you really want to focus on the younger set to the exclusion of all others, then you are probably just destined to have the Girl Friend Experience (GFE) type of relationship. And i think you have mentioned that in the past – FWB but also at least the appearance that the get togethers are more than just about sex and money.
Put someone on “retainer/monthly stipend”, get the GFE when she is with you and dont get angry/frustrated with what she does with the rest of the time. I am sure that if you looked further afield (e.g. Manila or something like that), you could probably find someone looking for a sugar daddy and willing to be your girlfriend as long as the monthly payment is made. Probably won’t be cheap. But, like many things in life, you get what you pay for.
Again, sorry this did not work out, but you seem to be perfectly demonstrating the layman’s definition of insanity – repeating the same action and expecting a different result.
Dont mean to sound harsh, but….
No problem, Brian. You make some fair points. I’m not actively seeking out women in their 20s for a relationship. Meeting Pearl was a fluke and I only pursued when she indicated interest. But yeah, the age gap does have implications for not being able to maintain an emotional connection. I’d say “lesson learned” but you know me…