Round and about

Another Monday, another Hash run. That makes 69 in a row if you are keeping score. I’m not, but Pubic Head posts the stats every week and that number jumped out at me for some reason. Go figure. Anyway, nothing else to do each week until I can start traveling once again.

So, I left the house at 1:30 to head over to the VFW, the alleged starting point of the trail. I noticed the Hares, Vienna Sausage (Guenter), and Fuck a Duck, were marking trail here in Alta Vista. I knew that had to be the end portion so I was hopeful that I’d find the beginning of the trail marked at VFW. Nope. Just more bullshit from the Hare. Anyway, I signed up and paid my fees, then waited for other members of the “safe and sane” group to arrive. I noticed two of the Angeles City Hashers departing early (prior to 2:00 and well before the “official” 2:30 starting time), so they clearly knew where the trail began. I asked Anal Receptive, one of the runners and part of the Hare’s “in-crowd” if he knew where the trail started. He did too. Now recall that when I specifically asked the Hare where to start he declined to answer, instead telling me to wait until 2:30 with everyone else. So yeah, I was taking this crap personally.

My group arrived and we took off. I already had an alternative trail in mind, but I wanted to check out the area Anal Intruder indicated was the starting point. And sure enough, it was. Seeing as how we were there, we took it. Almost straight up–over 60% grade according to Google Earth. We did the climb at a diagonal angle for the most part, but it was a slippery and treacherous mess. We got to the top without incident or injury though. I’d been on this mountain numerous times, but never knew the up we had just taken existed. Why would I? I know of at least two other ways to the summit that are not insane.

Our group consists of older gents like me, some womenfolk, and others who prefer to enjoy a hike without dealing with Hares who want to outdo each other in making things as difficult as possible. Now don’t get me wrong, I know there are Hashers who want the kind of challenge that Guenter provides, and that’s fine. I’d say that our group outnumbers those folks though and that’s why we band together and shortcut as we deem appropriate. Yesterday was no exception.

So, it was a little ironic that after our climb we found ourselves on the trail I was planning to use as the alternative had we not been able to locate Guenter’s path. All’s well that end’s well I suppose and we were On-On! Here are some photos from the hike (I forgot to turn on my tracker so alas, there will be no Relive video):

Guenter’s trail in orange, our alternative path in purple. As you can see the original trail has lots of ups and downs. Our group sliced most of those off. We probably did about 1/3 of the Hare’s trail, but still got in more than 5K.
That first climb really was a motherfucker though.
How we looked when we reached the top.
A nice view of where we came from though…
The “Safe and Sane” group of Hashers. Actually, we started with two more. Flaming Asshole and Western Union Sperm Bank got too far ahead of the pack and missed our first shortcut. Their nightmare tales of what they experienced confirmed that we did the sane thing.
A good portion of our bypass was taking the familiar and comfortable “My Bitch” trail. Interestingly, towards the end, Guenter’s trail once again intersected with ours.
Hello again, Easter mountain.
Fucking Cupcake on trail.
With Buddy Fucker close behind.
Cum Together, Nosey Bastard, Nosey Angel, and Black And Dick Her, waiting on the slowpokes to catch up.
On-On we go!
Heading back down…
Show us the way Pubic Head…
Another decision point. Stay on the Hare’s trail or not? When in doubt, shortcut! And that’s what we did!

As we passed through Alta Vista on our way to the On-Home at Queen Victoria, the group popped over to my place for a cold beer and to kill a few minutes. The Hash tradition is no drinking Hash beer before the first runner returns. We needed to give the suckers who did the long trail a chance to catch up!

Oh yeah, there’s another group of Hashers known as “socialites”. They don’t do any trail whatsoever. They get rewarded with some time on the ice.

After the Hash circle rituals were completed, a few of us headed over to Palm Tree for some grub.

I had pork chops but they weren’t nearly as good as the ones Mango’s serves next door.

And after beers and food, the Filipinas with us wanted to go to a videoke place to sing. The one next door was closed, so we hoofed it up the highway to McCoy’s where we enjoyed buckets of beer and I treated the audience to my croonings.

I did my renditions of “Crazy” by Patsy Cline and “I started a joke” by the Bee Gees. Yeah, I must have been drunk.

As hard as it is to believe, I stayed out until well after 9:00. That’s a very rare event for this oldtimer.

Anyway, it all turned out for the best. I did a trail that was mostly enjoyable and I did it my way and at a time of my choosing. Better luck next time Guenter!

I hope I wasn’t too much of an ass in this post.

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