I’m going to a birthday gathering today in San Narcisco.

It’s the birthday of my physician, Dr. Jo, and an invitation for me to attend was sent via a message to my helper (my helper is a certified caregiver, and she’s the one who makes my appointments–she got invited too). I’ve never had any previous out-of-office socializing with my medical professionals, so it was a surprise to get the invite. I’ve only been to San Narcisco once before, it’s a nice beach town, so I’m looking forward to hanging out at Mope Resort with my doc and her friends this afternoon.

Speaking of gifts, I was surprised when one of the Hideaway gals gave me a present last night.

I was at Hideaway last night to feed the girls because I’ll be out of town for the regular Sunday meal I provide.

My pal Ron had invited me out to McCoy’s on Baloy Beach for a full moon viewing, so I grabbed a trike after Hideaway and made my way to the beach bar. It was surprisingly quiet for a Saturday night, and I was especially happy about the lack of videoke singers squealers. I was disappointed that McCoy’s was without soda water, so I couldn’t stick to my gin. The bartender promised to order some for my next visit. They don’t have San Mig Zero beer either, so I was compelled to break diet and go with a San Miguel Light. Oh well.

Shortly after I arrived, Ron showed up with two other guys I’d never met, and the party was on. It wasn’t long before Ron’s friends wanted to barhop in Barretto, with Whiskey Girl being the first stop. I agreed to go along so I could get a squeeze from Jen, but I knew I wouldn’t be hitting any other bars; I was pretty much at my limit for the night.

I’d been intermittently chatting with Gen, and she’s heading back to Subic today. I guess I was too slow in responding to her messages, and she got upset. That unfurled a HUGE red flag in my mind. I told her I was in a crowded bar with friends and that it is rude to be on the phone when people are trying to converse with me. She said she was disappointed, which I find disappointing. I went back and checked this morning, and the longest gap between one of her messages and my response was fifteen fucking minutes.

So, today I’ve been thinking things over. First of all, I don’t really know this woman at all. Today she told me she wants to go to the Hash on Monday, and I told her that’s not a good idea. We have that whole virgin initiation thing, and I doubt she would find that fun. She wanted to get together tonight (I guess she’s not too shy to meet me without a chaperone now), but I have a party to attend. So, I reckon it will be Tuesday for the first in-person contact. Maybe it will be the last, as she says she will stay with her mother up north if she doesn’t find work here this week.

It seems to me that I’m always missing what I don’t have and think that I want. I guess a girlfriend has been at the top of that list for a while now. But damn, one thing I haven’t missed is the drama that seems part and parcel of a relationship. Just that little taste I had with Gen over message response times made me start thinking if this is something I really want to do. Let’s see if I can figure it all out before I fuck up. Again.

Maybe it just comes with the territory of being a man.

Here are the results from the Week 1 Weigh-In:

This week: 222.4

Last week: 225.3

Weight loss/gain: -2.9

Starting weight: 225.3

Goal: 195