Feeling kind of bleh lately, not sure why really, and not all that unusual for a depressive personality like mine. I’m sure that it will pass in due course and I’ll be ready for some New Year blues.
It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself in this country though because so many have it so much worse, in real and tangible ways. Take Cathy, an online friend from Bohol for instance. Several years ago she and her American husband “adopted” a cousin’s baby because mama wasn’t able to take care of him. A couple of years ago Cathy’s husband died unexpectantly. Cathy struggled but managed in large part because she was motivated by her devotion to “her” son, Eithan. Well, you might have guessed what happened. This Christmas mama came for Eithan and is apparently not going to bring him back. Cathy is of course devastated and doesn’t know what to do. Last we talked she was thinking of joining a convent, whatever that means. She also asked if she could move here to work for me. I told her I don’t have any openings now. I feel for her and her sorrow at losing Eithan but I am advising her to not do anything rash.
Last night, Vel, a woman I tried out once to be my new masseuse contacted me. Seems her kid is in the hospital in Laguna (down south of Manila) and she needs money for medicine. I offered my sympathy and nothing else so far. It sounds a little sketchy, to be honest, and I’m not sure why she thinks a one time customer has some obligation to provide financial assistance for her kids. Catherine, a 25-year old I first met in Wet Spot bar, is also always besieging me for rent and food money. Like I always tell her, it is not my responsibility to pay your bills. I do give her the opportunity to provide me certain services in exchange for cash occasionally, but that’s all there’s gonna be. Same thing with Mary who keeps begging me to see her. I do feel sorry for her but so far at least I haven’t relented.
So, comparatively speaking, what do I have to be sad about?
In the good news department, I threw some decent darts relatively consistently last night. So did my partner.
Another big Wednesday walking adventure. I’ll write that up tomorrow. Now I must nap!
I’d go nuts if I were constantly beset by women begging for money. Ugh. All the sob stories would start to sound similar and blend together in my head.
Hopefully, the prospect of a new year will cheer you up. The glass-half-full crowd is saying “It can’t get any worse than 2020,” but the glass-half-empty crowd is warning that this is only the beginning. If perception can affect reality, as seems to happen with the stock market, maybe positivity is the answer. Who knows?
Tough to separate the wheat from the chaff sometimes. Some do the need the money for legitimate reasons and are in dire straits through no fault of their own. Others are in misery of their own making. Some are both. It does get to be a bit grating, and hardens a person (in probably not a good way).
I guess that comes with living in an area where a middle class foreigner is at the top of the economic heap.
A person can only do the best they can.
Kev, as bad as 2020 has been, it could have been worse. For example, the COVID kill rate has not lived up to the hype! But yeah, I’m going to continue living day to day in the New Year and will hope to be pleasantly surprised.
Brian, yeah I knew coming in that this dealing with desperate people was part of the life here. My plan was to help some so I could deny others relatively guilt-free. I guess I’m up to five employees now! I still help others when and where I can when it feels appropriate. But it is the gall of the strangers and acquaintances asking for money that irks me at times. It is one thing to be generous and giving, another to be played for a sucker. Figuring out where that line is can be a challenge.
But yeah, I do realize I’m living “rich” in a poor country so it comes with the territory.