Yesterday turned out to be as full as Saturday had been empty. So, I guess you could say I had a balanced weekend. I kicked things off with Swan on a candy walk. Later, I fed the girls at Hideaway (they are down to four now; I wonder how much longer they’ll be open). My Sunday routine of late has been to visit the Arizona floating bar, but yesterday was the 30th Annual VFW Beach Bash beauty pageant, being held this year at the Outback Resort. I was on the fence about attending, but in the end, I decided I should show support for the local veteran’s organization.
The Outback beach area was packed when I arrived, but I still managed to secure three decent seats (Swan and Inday) were meeting me there) and settled in to enjoy the upcoming show. Then, I got drafted to be a judge. I had mixed feelings about doing so because it precluded me from bailing if I got bored or drunk and wanted to go home. Still, it was hard to say no when asked to help out, so I moved to the judge’s table. The contest started a little later than scheduled, and there was a snafu with the music during the talent competition that delayed things for almost thirty minutes. By the time it was all said and done, it was after nine, and I was bushed. But damn, a couple of those gals were smokin’ hot, especially in their bikinis.
Here are some photos from my day:
Found one!
A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viagra.
The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose.
“Why not?” asked the man.
“Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor.
“But I need it really bad,” said the man.
“Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor.
The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.”
The doctor finally relented saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.”
On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling.
The doctor asked, “What happened to you?”
The man said, “No one showed up.”
Sorry!
When it came time for the Hideaway feeding, I marched over to Jewel Cafe and picked up two orders of garlic prawns, two orders of pork sisig, and five chicken wings. Popped into Dunkin’ Donuts for dessert, then crossed the highway to the alley where Hideaway Bar is hidden away.
With my Hideaway business complete, I headed across town to the Outback.
Number #3 was the well-deserved overall winner. It was quite the eventful day by my low standards.
Today’s Hash once again begins at the end of Rizal Extension. I’m going to hike the My Bitch trail to get there and then assess how I feel about climbing any additional hills. If need be, I’ll find a flat route to walk to the On-Home at Johansson’s from there. I’ll let you know how that works out for me tomorrow.
Today’s Quora Q&A brought back a long-ago memory:
Q: Did you ever have a funny in-person experience with a Hollywood movie star? How so?
A: It was sometime in 1979 or so, back when I was residing in the lovely city of Prescott, Arizona. My wife from that era was working at a local dining establishment, and I came in and sat at the bar while I waited for her shift to end. I hadn’t really noticed the gentleman sitting on the barstool next to me until some female patrons approached and asked him for an autograph. After he obliged, I guess he noticed me looking at him, trying to figure out who in the fuck he was. He smiled, offered his hand, and introduced himself as “Jan.” To be honest, the name didn’t ring a bell, but the face was somewhat familiar.
Anyway, we began to chat. He was in town attending some sessions at a nearby gun school. I don’t recall if he said this was preparation for a movie role or if he just liked guns. As we talked periodically, someone would recognize him and come up to meet him. He was always gracious, but I could tell he found it somewhat irksome. About this time, my wife appeared, and judging by her giddiness, I guess she recognized him, too. As we were preparing to leave, I asked if he’d like to join us. I was mostly just being polite, so I was a little taken aback when he said, “I sure would!” I don’t recall now where we intended to actually go, but it was likely one of the dives we liked on Whiskey Row.
As it turns out, we didn’t make it far. Once we got into my vehicle (an older but rugged Toyota LandCruiser), Jan asked if we’d like to smoke a joint before we left. I was a big pot smoker back in those days, so naturally, I answered in the affirmative. Damn, it was some good shit. In fact, it may have been laced with something because I got really wasted real quick. And then he pulled out a tin of cocaine! I did a snort or two of that, and the next thing I remember, I was leaning out the car door, puking my guts out.
I’m pretty sure Jan found my lightweight antics equally disturbing and disgusting. Suffice to say he changed his mind about joining us, quickly said his goodbyes, and left.
And so ended my chance encounter with the B-list celebrity Jan-Michael Vincent.
Once again I came across a joke I often tell in a comic format. More evidence that my humor is as old as I am:
I liked this one for some reason, too:
Okay, it’s time to get ready to roll on out to the Hash.
I was on the fence about attending, but in the end, I decided I should show support for the local veteran’s organization.
Then they turned around and used ya’!
There was something I liked about this tree.
I’m gonna guess it’s the saucy zigzaggedness.
Green river…
Algae blooms?
Anticipation
That kid in the lower-left corner looks to be a character. I sense a future career in comedy for him.
Steve was the official photographer for the event.
He seems to prefer photographing the beach!
Lots of familiar faces in the crowd, including my ex and her new beau.
Is that your ex-chickadee (Mary?) who’s currently working in Manila? Is she back in town permanently or just visiting? Or am I mixing her up with someone else?
Judge not lest ye be judged.
Lest ye be curb-stomped by five-ton soles and stabbed by stiletto heels!
The contestants
#3 is definitely cute, but where did #8 go?
The contestants in swimwear. Number three was my favorite.
#3’s suit certainly left the least to the imagination. And poor #1—cut off or barely visible in many of these pics.
Dave conducting interviews for the “personality” contest
I think I found #8! And #9’s got a skimpy, barely-there swimsuit on.
My wife from that era was working at a local dining establishment, and I came in and sat at the bar while I waited for her shift to end.
This seems like a familiar scenario, from 1979 to now.
Happy Hashing! Hash is better than cocaine, I’m sure.
The tree was like some kind of metaphor–growing up straight and tall, then inexplicably takes a turn to the left, eventually realizes that was a wrong move, and so grows back right and healthy. There’s a lesson there.
There is some kind of algae growth in those stagnant river waters, for sure. This time of year, with no rain, there is no flow. It will be running strong and hard again soon.
Nope, not Mary; that’s the woman I last loved a couple of years ago. Mary was never more than a friend with benefits. She is back in town, but I’ve not seen her since her return.
The pageant photos are not the best, that’s for sure. There were some cuties competing, and #3, #8, and #9 were my favorites.
So many vices, so little time! Yeah, it is good to be drug-free (except for prescriptions, of course). Back when I was living in Stafford, Virginia, and commuting to DC, I never had the time or gumption to visit bars. That changed with my move to Korea (Itaewon) in 2005. Things have never been the same.