Well, technically, we haven’t had a first dance–horizontally or vertically. Yet. Perhaps we never will. That’s the somewhat ambiguous outcome of my meeting yesterday with .

I met MJ last year during one of our group hikes. She lives up on the mountain at the very end of Rizal Extension. In fact, the My Bitch trail passes by her place. Her three kids reside with her there as well. I’ve mentioned MJ in passing a couple of times here at LTG, but I really don’t know her well at all. We’ve become Facebook friends and will occasionally like each other’s posts, but otherwise, I’ve only had an occasional brief chat when she’s home as we go hiking by. So, all told maybe three or four times since we’ve met.

So, as I said, I don’t know a lot about her. Hiking buddies Scott and Dave filled me in on some of her history. Back in the day, she worked in the Barretto bar scene. She eventually wound up in a relationship with an American bar manager named Denny, who fathered at least two of her children. He later left her for another woman and moved to Angeles City. Denny eventually moved back to the USA but apparently still sent some financial support for his kids. A few months ago I saw that MJ had updated her status on Facebook to “in a relationship.” That’s pretty much the extent of what I knew about her prior to our meeting yesterday afternoon.

You may be wondering how this meeting with a relative stranger came about. Well, I was surprised to get a message out of the blue from MJ on Thursday. After some small talk, she asked if I knew of any bars that are hiring. I named a couple of places that might be looking for help. She mentioned that she’s 35 years old now, which admittedly is pretty ancient for the bar biz. I asked why she was looking for work and she told me that Denny had recently died and she was no longer receiving support. She talked about the stress she was under worrying about how she was going to feed and take care of her kids. I offered my sympathies and for some reason asked her if she’d like to meet up. She immediately agreed and we set a date for Friday at 2:00. I asked her where she wanted to get together and she said T-Rose. I told her that’s fine, but the bar is now named It Doesn’t Matter.

After the chat with MJ, I had a WTF are you doing conversation with myself. I mean, it was clear that MJ needed help from someone, but I wondered about both of our motivations and expectations. There was only one way to find that out, so the meeting was on. Going in, I knew I was prepared to offer MJ some short-term relief. Beyond that, I wasn’t so sure. And what was she looking for? My mind was all over the map on that one, especially my dirty mind. One example: Why did she choose It Doesn’t Matter (T-Rose) to meet? Could it be because there is a short-time hotel right across the street? Hmm. So many possibilities!

I was pleased when MJ arrived as scheduled. I really don’t like “Filipina time”, or as they call it back home, being fashionably late. She parked her motorbike and joined me at the outside bar, I offered her a drink, and she said “coffee”. And then we got down to business. MJ thanked me again for meeting with her. She talked about her isolated life on the mountain. It’s beautiful up there and she loves planting in her garden, but she has no friends to talk with about her stress and worry up on the mountaintop. I assured her I was happy to be an understanding ear. She explained more about her situation. Apparently, she owns a pretty nice piece of property (I assume Denny bought it for her) more than just the lot her house sits on. She said she might try and sell a portion of that land to generate some cash. She said she is also trying to sell her appliances, including a recently purchased refrigerator. I was sympathetic, but did tell her those were short term fixes and in the long run she’d need to develop a consistent cash income. I told her about the situation in the bars and even if she finds a job, until tourists return she won’t be making much money. I also mentioned that working late into the night and then making the trip back up the mountain wouldn’t be easy. You can reach her place on a scooter, but I wouldn’t want to in the dark. MJ also said her mother was available to watch her kids if she was working.

I asked MJ if she had a Filipino boyfriend (lots of the women here do, even the ones with foreigner boyfriends) and she indignantly said “no!”, indicating that she had never been with a Filipino and didn’t like them. Okay, then. I mentioned I had seen her “in a relationship” status on Facebook and asked who that was. She told me it was an 80 year old Australian she had never met in person and that he too had recently died. I asked her if she was on any of the dating sites and she said she wasn’t. I suggested a couple of them to her and told of some gals I know are getting money sent to them from guys they met online. Maybe she could try that. I asked if she had any other skills besides bar work, using massage as an example. MJ said that she had been trained as a masseuse in the past. I told her that might be a better fit than the bars are currently. I said I might even be interested in being a customer.

Of course, that triggered my dirty mind again. I glanced across the street at the hotel and the devil on my left shoulder said “why not, she’s desperate.” The angel on my right shoulder told me “c’mon, you’re better than that!” So, I handed MJ the 2500 pesos I had come prepared to give her, no strings attached. She got teary-eyed as she thanked me. I told her this was just a way to help her get started, but she needed to find some longer-term solutions to her situation. She thanked me again for the money and for listening to her and I told her I was glad to help. There’s also a grocery store across the street, and after saying our goodbyes, she headed over there.

MJ sent a message after she got back home thanking me again and sent this photo of her bounty:

So, that’s how the meeting went. I suppose it sounds anti-climatic after the teaser in yesterday’s post. In my defense, I didn’t know for sure there wouldn’t be a climax involved at the time.

I guess my takeaways from the meeting are that MJ is a sincere woman facing a tough road ahead. I’m certainly in no position to be her savior. I’m glad I got the opportunity to know her a little better. I’m not, however, physically or emotionally attracted to her. So, I won’t be the replacement boyfriend. I may consider offering her a spot in my “friends with benefits” program though. My masseuse vacancy remains unfilled. We’ll see.

And here we are facing another Saturday night. I’m actually getting together with some friends for drinks and dinner on the old Navy base. Something a little different for a change!

And life goes on.