Uniformly speaking

Welcome to another installment in the continuing trials, tribulations, and adventures of an American in the Philippines.

Another shopping day, and by golly, Royal is having a big Thanksgiving sale.

Of course, the sale starts on Saturday, two days AFTER Thanksgiving. Only in the Philippines!

The other big event in my day was accompanying my friend Bhel to see my physician, Dr. Jo. Bhel has been having issues with a frozen shoulder, and Dr. Jo recommended a treatment. I was just there to pay, and boy did I–the cost of the therapy and meds was 25,000 pesos, but Dr. Jo discounted it to 17,500 ($350). I was surprised it was so high, and I don’t carry that kind of cash around, so I had to return later with the payment. As long as the treatment works, it will be worth it.

Came back home and took a nap, and as seems to happen on a daily basis around here, before I knew it, beer o’clock had come around.

My view as I left home and headed for the bars.

I drink for a reason and with a purpose.

Nothing like achieving a goal!

I kid. Mostly.

First stop was It Doesn’t Matter. Shared some drinks and “flirty” jokes with Juliet. All in fun, of course. She already has her Romeo. And just before I was ready to head out, he showed up, and Juliet introduced us. It wasn’t really awkward; he obviously knows how the game is played (I understand he met her several years ago when she worked at Cheap Charlies). Honestly, though, even if I meet my future girlfriend in a bar (and the odds of that are pretty high, I reckon), I would give her an allowance so she could quit her job. I see how a lot of these guys treat the girls (ass-grabbing and the like), and I couldn’t tolerate someone touching my gal like that. Anyway, not my problem. Yet.

My next stop was Cheap Charlies. All my regular gals were otherwise occupied with other customers, so I drank alone. Hey, it’s cheaper that way! And Cheap Charlies has the best view from the CR (comfort room/restroom) in Barretto.

Maybe I should have just brought my beer with me and stood at the urinal all night.

I was getting hungry and had an errand to run at Thumbstar (repaying some money to a waitress friend of Bhel’s), so I headed out. When I saw a gal I know was cooking in the small kitchen out front of Thumbstar, I decided to take care of business while taking care of business.

I couldn’t decide between the chicken burger and the chicken shwarma, so I had both. They were both good, too.

Turned out that I knew the waitress friend of Bhel (played against her in darts), so the transaction had a pleasant aspect as well. I bought my cook friend a lady drink, then headed up the highway.

I had a coupon for Whiskey Girl (buy a lady drink, get a free customer drink) that I knew would make my waitress friend Jenn happy, so that’s where I headed. Jenn was at the door to greet me when I arrived. So, we sat down, and I put the coupon to work. The Whiskey Girl dancers were practicing for Friday’s SOB, and their uniforms arrested my attention.

She turned away just as I took the photo, so you can’t see the cute face. To be honest, what had caught my attention was that the top of her uniform didn’t cover the bottom of her boobs. Her arm is in the way, but you can still kinda see it. And yes, the beers may have been impacting my judgment by this point in the evening.

Lydell sent me a greeting, so I decided to make Snackbar my final stop for the night. One of the customers was celebrating his 70th birthday, and the party was still going strong when I arrived.

I’m barely acquainted with Joseph, but he is a fine musician and was busy entertaining the crowd on his acoustic guitar (I didn’t see him play whatever that is on his back in this photo).

When Joseph* finished playing, he wanted to hear a particular song, but the YouTube connection was erratic. So, I paired up my Spotify with the Bluetooth speaker, and the dancing commenced. I was surprised and impressed to see him doing some of the best country swing dancing I’ve seen since I left Arkansas. Good to see the elderly rockin’ it. Especially since I are one. (Yeah, I did that on purpose; I’m writing with a Southern accent. Okay, I’ll stop now).

Anyway, I shared a couple of drinks with Lydell, and she told me she would be joining the hike this morning. She was a no-show, though. When I messaged her, she told me she had overslept. Alrighty, then. I had planned to invite her to be my date for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving dinner, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe I’ll bring Joy from Hideaway instead. We’ll see.

A friend sent me this Thanksgiving menu from Arizona Resort. I’m dining at Papagayo. I hope the menu there is this good. I’ll find out tomorrow.

I had been lamenting about some memories from days gone by in my post yesterday. Coincidentally, I came across this today:

Yeah, nothing to lament. Just more of those moments that make up a life. I’ll try to adjust my attitude accordingly.

And finally, here’s a memory of an old joke I posted on Facebook seven years ago (I don’t think I posted it here, but if I can’t remember, neither can you!)

A priest offered a lift to a Nun.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest removed his hand.

But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

And there you have it.

It is feeding day again at Hideaway; going to make it a little special this time since it is Thanksgiving Eve. No, there won’t be turkey, but I’ll do a variety of items from the Sit-n-Bull menu to bring the girls. I’ve already baked the brownies.

I’ll be back with more tomorrow. You’ve been warned!

It's been a long time comin' (Long time comin')
It's goin' to be a long time gone (Long time gone)

But you know
The darkest hour
Is always, always just before the dawn

And it appears to be a long
Appears to be a long
Appears to be a long time
Such a long, long, long, long time before the dawn

* Corrected the spelling of the name Joseph after a reader pointed out the error of my ways in a comment. I know better. Honest!

5 thoughts on “Uniformly speaking

  1. I’m barely acquainted with Joesph,
    […]
    When Joesph finished playing,…

    Okay, so that’s twice you spelled it “Joesph” and not the more normal “Joseph,” so I’m guessing that’s not a typo, correct? Still, it looks strange. Why would he choose to spell his name that way? It’s like when I occasionally run across a dude who deliberately spells his name “Micheal.” Weird.

    That menu seems to feature candied sweet potatoes. Jackpot! Too bad you’re not going to that establishment. Any chance you can change plans? And, hey—is John not doing anything special for Thanksgiving? I bet that would be the best meal in town even if it costs a pretty penny.

    I can’t remember most psalms to save my life. Like a lot of Christians, I’m better at remembering New Testament verses than Old Testament ones.

  2. Soon be time for Joseph to pack up that guitar and return to his country of origin to spend his remaining years mostly occupying the same armchair growling at the news and young people on TV until it slowly then suddenly kills him. Or he could stay in the Philippines and actually have a life.

  3. Yes, Joseph chose wisely. I often think of Barretto as just a bustling retirement community for like-minded male geriatrics with a taste for brown-skinned young women and cold beer. Those oldsters back home don’t have a clue what they are missing, poor bastards.

  4. Kev, Shit, I can’t believe I misspelled Joseph twice. No idea what I was thinking other than I wasn’t. At least I’m building my resume for a future presidency.

    I’ve had Thanksgiving dinner at Arizona in the past and had no complaints. When I saw the sign at Papagayo this year, I wanted to give it a try. If they don’t have candied yams, I’ll be kicking myself later. Nope, John’s not doing a TG menu that I know of. He posted something about Christmas, but it was providing space for private parties. Several other places in town are doing the traditional dinners, though, so lots of options.

    Verily, verily I say unto you
    If you can’t remember your psalms
    The Bible will do.
    –from the Book of John

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