I’ve mentioned before the struggles I’ve been undergoing as I continue my journey through the uncharted waters of my seventies. Usually, I can turn off my brain, or at least drown it out with copious amounts of San Miguel Zero. But then those nights I can’t sleep soundly come around.
Lying there in bed, my mind inevitably starts traveling back to the past, reminding me of what I had and what I lost. My preference is just to let it go, or sometimes fantasize about what I might do to change things should I be granted a “do-over life.” Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Anyway, last night the struggle with my brain revolved around how disconnected I’ve become. I rarely hear from my children, and it’s been years since I’ve had contact with my two brothers. Long-time friends have also disappeared. I guess this is one of the consequences for choosing to live out what remains of my life on the other side of the world, far away from friends and family.
But here’s the thing. I don’t miss the vanilla American lifestyle I left behind and can’t imagine living in the nation of my birth again. I miss the people I’ve loved, even if it feels like they no longer love me. They’ve chosen to go their own way, just as I have chosen to go mine. Life goes on until it doesn’t.
Somewhat coincidentally (I was checking to make sure I hadn’t used this post title before), I found something I had written in 2008 expressing sentiments similar to what I’ve been feeling now. Back then, I was reflecting on my life after three years in Korea, lamenting what that had cost me, yet I was still unwilling to change course. That’s where I’m at today as well. The mistake I want to avoid this time is getting trapped in regrets over what I’ve lost and forgetting to embrace the good in the life I have.
So, as unconnected as I might be, I have my routines to fill the hours. Yes, they are mostly mundane and meaningless, but I enjoy them and will do my best to continue living the best life an elderly man can hope for. Let’s see how that works out for me.
Take yesterday, for example. My new driver, Bong, who is a friend of Swans, arrived promptly at eight in the morning for my weekly grocery shopping excursion. There was an additional stop at the immigration office to extend my visa, and that went without issue. Then it was on to the Filipino supermarket, YBC, to stock up on the week’s candies and treats. Checking out can be a very frustrating experience, as I was reminded once again. It seemed to take forever for the woman in front of me to get her groceries squared away and paid for (she had them in three piles to be rung up separately. And then it took a long time for her card payment to go through. I stood by patiently, reciting my mantra, “take a deep breath, relax, and accept the Filipino way.” It’s not vanilla here; sometimes it’s a rocky road.
Royal is a comparatively American shopping experience, so there is usually nothing much to get upset about. My only issue was at checkout, when the cashier tried to entice me to buy eco-bags for my groceries instead of the cardboard boxes that are the usual method. When I declined the bags, she said the boxes were unavailable. I responded by pointing to the customer who was ringing out several aisles away, using boxes. Then the cashier disappeared for several minutes, presumably in search of boxes. Meanwhile, one of the baggers came by with boxes sufficient for my grocery load. The cashier eventually returned and began ringing up my purchases. Maybe it was my imagination, or perhaps she is just incompetent, but damn, it seemed like she was moving in slow motion. Anyway, if that’s all I have to complain about, I’m living a charmed life indeed.
Back home, I was feeling lazy and skipped the usual afternoon neighborhood hike. At beer o’clock, Swan and I made our way to Barretto and paid our monthly visit to my old darts bar, Alley Cats. I was reminded of how disconnected I’ve become from my former darting life. It’s still nice to see the familiar faces occasionally, though.
After Alley Cats, we crossed the highway for some dinner at the Outback Fish and Chips diner. We’ve had takeout from there in the past, but this is the first time we’ve actually sat down to eat there.
I had a 500 peso voucher from the final SOB for Whiskey Girl, so that’s where we headed next. At first, they declined to accept the voucher, saying they were no longer a member of the SOB. I was livid, saying this prize was given to me at the last event, and their refusal to honor it was tantamount to fraud. I was ready to walk out without paying for the drinks I had ordered when manager Mick interceded, saying he would accept the coupon but still claimed it should not have been given. So, I had four beers for free (one glass of wine I paid for) and left.
Then, we once again crossed the highway and popped into the newest bar in town, Gold Bar. We were warmly greeted by the manager and took our seats. I was a little surprised to see that I knew our waitress, Lydell, whom I first met at Snackbar several years ago. A little later, neighbors Jeff and Davina joined us. I didn’t take any photos, but Gold Bar is a clean, well-lit place —the kind I appreciate when I’m drinking inside. There is a pool table in the back and a small stage where four dancers were performing their swaying routine last night. They were attractive (i.e., not fat) by Barretto standards. It was a pleasant enough nightcap venue, and on those occasions we are visiting this side of town, we’ll pay them another visit.
Not bad for a Tuesday, eh? Except for the part about not being able to get a good night’s sleep.
Oh, I’ve often wondered why Filipinos don’t speak Spanish, despite being under Spain’s rule for four hundred years. This article explains what happened.
Moving on to February 2015 in the LTG archives, and this post about one of my best days as a darter brought back some nice memories.
Three years ago, I was still enjoying my visit to Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
In today’s YouTube video, a white girl (or, more likely, an AI-generated image of one) shares her first experience in a Manila grocery store. She encounters the variety of snacks and flavors the locals enjoy. It is short, so bite your tongue and try to enjoy it.
And now let’s move on to the funny business:
That’s all I’ve got. Sorry for going a tad off the rails today, but that’s what happens sometimes.
Oi McCrusty…….You answer me, you cunt lest I shart on your fanny (UK).
Don’t make me pull rank, dammit!!
Dr. Greg, I ain’t afraid of no typhoon. They can take my electric, but not my power.
Georges Perec wrote La Disparition (The Disappearance), an e-avoiding novel, in 1969. An equally great feat was the translation of that novel into English in 1994 by Gilbert Adair, who successfully preserved the e-avoidance and retitled the novel A Void.
It’s not too hard to avoid using that fifth glyph if you try. You just train your brain to do it, and with a good amount of focus, victory can waft loftily into your waiting grasp.
Good to see you in good spirits for a change, Dr Greg. I, unfortunately, sharted myself in bed again. Par for the course around these parts but still, could have done without the undigested guacamole and nachos I’ll tell ya that for naught.
re: family
John, not sure why you don’t take a trip back to the US. I know you have said that your family back there isn’t making any efforts towards reconciliation. They may be thinking the same thing, though about you. And realistically, it is a lot easier for you to go there than the other way around. Somebody has to make the effort – it might as well be you. I think you would be pleasantly surprised.
As the cliche goes, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.”
Re: SOB voucher for Whiskey Girl
Ummm, obviously I wasn’t there and don’t know exactly how you reacted, but it does seem like you were a bit of an a-hole. It certainly is not fraud on their part. There have been numerous cases will a store will print a coupon saying something is on sale for e.g. $1.99 when it should have been $199.99 and the store is not required to honor it. For example, the SOB could have had leftover coupons from months ago, etc. and there was no intention from Whiskey Girl validate them. I get it – it’s the principle, but on the other hand, it is $10 bucks and was it worth getting your blood pressure up?
Doing a 10,000 foot psychological analysis, I would recommend that you take a break from SE Asia for X period (with X = 1 week, 2 weeks, whatever). I think you need to get out of the whole SEA bubble for a bit. You have been in it too long without a break. Previous trips – all to SE Asia. Your upcoming trip to Vietnam – still in the bubble. Trips outside of Barreto to other places in the PI – still in the bubble. Go to the US, north Asia, Europe, Aus/NZ, etc. I don’t think you have been out of SEA for 7(?) years or so.
Maybe even something like a (Mediterranean) cruise. I like cruises. A floating hotel that visits interesting places. You can do as much or as little as you want. Hey, when beer o’clock is over, it is just a matter of a few steps from the ships bar to the elevator/stairs to your room.
Anyways, hope you are not offended by me interjecting. 😛
Thanks for sharing your insights, Brian.
It’s been seven years since I’ve been “home.” A lot has changed since then. That last trip left me feeling depressed; seeing my old house and the places I had shared with my wife were like salt in a wound. Since that time, things have gone south within the family. At this stage of my life, I honestly don’t want to deal with the drama. Maybe I’ll feel differently in the future.
Well, I didn’t get nasty or loud; I just said that I’d been given the coupon (they are dated and only good for a week) on Friday night and that I was here to use it. I guess Whiskey Girl’s position was that, since they didn’t bother to show up (despite being listed as a competitor), they had no obligation to honor the raffle prize. I was fully prepared to walk away, but then the manager relented. Anyway, Whiskey Girl has become a shithole, and I will never return. I got my free beers as my way of saying, “fuck you.”
As for popping the Asia bubble, I’m glad to be here. I read about the crap going on in Europe and Down Under and have no desire whatsoever to visit those shitholes. If I still had a sense of adventure, I wouldn’t mind checking out South America. I’ve never been on a cruise, but maybe that’s a good “old man” alternative. I do recall, when I visited the Bahamas, how much I hated it when a cruise ship came into port: masses of tourists swarming the streets, ruining it for the rest of us. We’ll see what the future brings.
Nope, no offense taken whatsoever. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.
Kevin, I see what you did there. Nice job! I will think of ways to say things without that glyph, too. I’ll just act as if my board tab is not functioning as it should. That might work, don’t you think, Kivin?