I’ve had a flurry of people contacting me through Facebook Messenger that I’ve never met before. It’s not all that unusual, I suppose, Christmas season seems to enhance all those desperate circumstances faced by the less fortunate. I’ve gotten better at limiting my responses to people I at least know something about, but sometimes I take a misstep. Like yesterday morning.
It started with a message from “Beth” asking if we could get together. I didn’t recall ever meeting her, but there was something familiar about her profile picture. I went and scrolled through her Facebook page, and then her last name rang a bell. I asked if she was the daughter of Wanda (a Hash acquaintance). She responded that she was. Okay, this just got weird. How old are you? (That’s a very important question if you want to stay out of jail). She told me she was twenty-two. That at least matched the birthdate she had on FB. I could see she had two young kids from the FB pics, so the odds were good that she was at least eighteen. Why do you want to meet? I don’t have money for milk or diapers. Figures.
I told Beth I was getting ready to go for a hike, and she asked if she could wait for me at my house. Alright, she did seem legitimately desperate. What about your mother? Beth says they haven’t talked for a long time. Hmm. I don’t know what got into me, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and let her come over. I figured I could always hike after, whatever after turned out to be. And exercise can take many forms, right?
So, I gave Beth directions to my place and waited for her arrival by trike. Naturally, she got lost in the subdivision, despite the ease of getting here (basically three right turns). I walked out to find her and saw her walking on the wrong part of my street (she had turned left instead of right), and OMG, she didn’t look anything like the photos I had seen. She was as fat as an American woman. I brought her to the house, and she sat on the couch and was unwilling or unable to engage in any kind of conversation. Well, she did manage to ask me for my WiFi password. I gave it to her, and then she buried her nose in her phone as if I weren’t even there. That’s okay; one look at her and all my evil thoughts had quickly run far away.
I’ve often said there are worse things than being alone, and Beth was a good example of that. I gave her 1000 pesos and transportation money and told her to leave. She seemed surprised. Well, she got what she needed for milk and diapers, and there was nothing I needed from her. I guess that makes it a win-win.
Later in the day, I made a date with a girl from another bar I met. I’m not completely sure of her intentions, but I think this is just a legitimate getting to know each other better outside of work encounter. I do plan to ask her to eat my balls, though.
She’s due to arrive this afternoon at 3:00 p.m. I’ll be prepared for whatever she has in mind, but I hope she is interested in more than just the bulge in my pants (my wallet).
I started my Saturday evening beer drinking at Cheap Charlies. Then when it was time to eat, I went to John’s place.
John’s recliner was empty, and I asked the waitress regarding his whereabouts. She said he was playing pool at Alaska Club. That’s a good sign. Later on, I saw him walking on the highway with his wife. So, he’s up and around. Today he posted this on Facebook:
I am considering of restart of pizza. We used to make it before, but I didn’t like my own pizza too much.
First reason was flour. All I could’ve gotton locally was heavey all- purpose flour, which didnt have the right texture of pizza dough.
2nd reason was because I was moving right across Shambolis.
But Shambolis is moving away and I also found importer in Manila who imports real Italian, non GMO, 00 pizza flour. I had them send it via Victory Liner. Among all flour they carry, we had them ship the best one, CAPUTO brand, appx 4 times more expensive than flour I can get locally, but I am sure it will suit my taste. I intend to use pure Italian tomato & Flour only.
So I will do some practice and start making pizza again. This time, we’ll be different. We’ll start poolish. For toppings, we are thinking of Birria, Kung Pao pizza which will be new invetion and Hawaiian with home made smoked ham, bacon and cheese pizza.
While I was at John’s, Joy messaged me and said none of the girls had gotten a lady drink all day long at Hideaway. That’s pretty sad for a Saturday night. Plus, the girls all rely on those drink commissions to make ends meet. Being the foolish generous man that I am, I paid a surprise visit to the bar and rang the bell (that gives each girl working a drink). Hey, it’s a small thing and still makes a difference.
When I was finished at Hideaway, I made a surprise return visit to Mugshots and once again enjoyed spending some time with Mae. Not the cutest girl in town by a longshot, but she’s fun to be around. Looking forward to getting to know her better.
I made Sloppy Joe’s my stop for the night, thinking I’d enjoy a cold beer with a highway view. Alas, a drunk Filipino on the street came up to the bar and started being loud and obnoxious. I did my best to ignore him, but my patience was really being tested. Thankfully, one of the waitresses called a manager (the guy appeared to be twice the size of the drunk), and the situation was quickly de-escalated. Drunk as he was, he could see the outcome was not going to be in his favor.
Facebook memories continue to show me pics of myself from those long ago days gone by.
And finally, let me share those photos of the winners from Friday’s SOB:
Here’s a video of the Whiskey Girl team in action:
Stranger danger, indeed. Just don’t let any axe murderers into your home.
Good to know John seems to be doing better.
i know you scoff at the idea, but isn’t it safer ( at least on paper, with regards to not only STD due to testing ,but getting some recourse in case of theft and/or dissatisfaction) to just stick your pecker from the reputable bars? Maybe the barfine rather rubs you the wrong way, but a random stranger off Facebook just getting accepted to visit your home seems a bit unsafe, and could turn out to be expensive if an unscrupulous individual turns up with a cousin or later tries the classic r*pe shakedown.
i do hope you find an actual lovely girl to stay by your side….well, she doesn’t have to be lovely but just somebody who will not only tolerate your frequent girlie bar visits but will have some patience to stay home while you enjoy the night out. At this stage, a woman who loves hiking and drinking with you in girlie bars while suppressing the jealous trait might be hard to find, especially when she doesn’t understand enough English to get all your jokes( which you really consider crucial at this juncture in your life).
As Kevin would say… wrong place to be looking for a well-educated lady who will share your hobbies and hold her own ambitions in life , at least in that small town where your antics are well-known. It is rather hard to be anonymous when you’re almost single-handedly keeping the ailing economy of the Barrio ,in addition to a sort of biographer/reporter of the town’s activities
Anyway
I’m sure you’ll not be too worried….but it wouldn’t hurt to be more careful and circumspect in these things.
@Kevin comment made me think of a joke
A guy picks up a random hitchhiker on the side of a dark lonely highway. After the hitchhiker gets in the car, he says to the driver, “Aren’t you afraid that I may be a serial killer?”
The driver replies, “Nah, what are the odds of two serial killers being in my car at the same time!!” LOL
BTW, that hot wax thing the Wet Spot girl was doing must have hurt. I guess maybe if you have the candles enough distance from your body, the temp of the wax may be bearable by the time it reaches the skin. :shrug
You must be tired of people asserting your odd naivety but I’m going to pile on. If some random slob insinuated themselves into my home and hung around wordless on the sofa until cash was handed over, I’d practically feel violated.
I get how parlous the bar girl life is, don’t need the pic for that. But that you get that flurry of messages would tell me nothing about Christmas and everything about how a needy community sees you as a one man alternative social service system and all the myriad ways that could go badly wrong. Think it’s time to send a message with a one off blanking of all begging requests until things are understood. Otherwise you’re gonna need a bigger dog.
Dan, fair point. Inviting this stranger home was somewhat out of character for me and a good reminder that I need to be more discerning in the future. In my defense, I did know her mother, but still not a smart move. I gave her the cash willingly, in part to get rid of her and also because I could sense her desperation. I knew when I invited her over; I’d be giving her something–the only question was how much and if I’d be getting something in return. It turned out the money was the price I paid for being stupid.
Brian, yeah, I’ve had that same thought about dripping candle wax all over your body–ouch! I’ve seen them drip it onto their tongue, too. I guess with practice you either get used to it or maybe it’s not as hot as it appears.
Oh, and it’s an old joke but apt. I need to be more careful with my pickups.
Ted, there is no question about it–bringing complete strangers to your house is stupid on many levels. I was lucky the only repercussions were fat, ugly, and non-communicative. In my defense, I would never bring a street-walking freelancer home with me–that’s what short-time motels are for! I’ve turned down many of these Facebook solicitations, and when I made an exception in this case, I was chiding myself for being stupid even before she arrived. Again, I thought knowing her mother and seeing her pics with family and friends on FB was enough. Lesson learned!
Indeed, barfines are a lot less risky in many ways. It’s not about the money for me; I just like the illusion that I’m connecting somehow on a non-transactional level. That’s another manifestation of my ignorance.
As for finding an actual girlfriend, yeah, I love the fantasy of having a hiking and drinking buddy I could cuddle with and kiss good morning every day. I’ve been here going on five years now, and my multiple failures in that regard are well-documented here on the blog. It’s true; I’m looking for love in all the wrong places. I guess the “right” one is going to have to find me, or this life I’m living is the only one I’ll know.
In the meantime, I need to be smarter about who I let walk through my front door. As you and others have noted, things could have gone a lot worse.
Kev, I was lucky that only my libido was killed.
John,
What size tee shirt do you wear? I’ve thought of a shirt design for you.
2XL. Should I be worried? 🙂
Yes
The shirt 👕 should just say
“I’ am not like other guys “