Yesterday was my day off, or at least the one day of the week when I change up my regular routines for a different routine. Don’t worry, it’s nothing to get excited about.
Went to the Royal supermarket and as usual, they didn’t have everything I wanted, but I got what I needed.
Came home, took a nap, blogged, had a shower, and headed out.
Hoofed it over to the vape shop and picked up some supplies I’ve been needing.
Found “mama”, the homeless woman I help feed, resting on the street under her umbrella. I had missed her the day before so she was happier than usual to see me.
Found my way to Alley Cats and settled into my usual seat and waited for the dart tournament to commence. I drew a weak partner but we did our best. We avoided being the dreaded “first out” of the tourney, but we failed to make it into the money round. Oh well, that’s the way it goes sometimes.
I ordered up some take-out for delivery from Sit-n-Bull (chicken wings, chicken fingers, and Shanghai lumpia) and of course, shared it with the girls. They seemed to appreciate it. Bought some lady drinks too which pushed my bar tab into the $30. range. It’s good to splurge sometimes I suppose.
Caught a trike home, had a bowl of rocky road ice cream, and was in bed a bit before 9 p.m. What a life, huh?
Well, actually as I sat in the bar last night I got to thinking. Turns out I’m happy to be here. It’s not the life I thought I would have but overall it’s a good one. I have people I hang with, I’m part of the community, I have things to do that fill the hours. I think I’m finally beginning to accept and appreciate what I do have and not dwell so much on what I’ve lost. In fact, a couple of my friends in “love” relationships expressed that they envy my life of tranquility; free from the wrath of an angry or jealous Filipina. Maybe so. I know I’m glad I avoided the nightmare that would have ensued if a couple of the gals who professed to love me last year had got their way. No, I’m not so much smart as I am lucky.
What I want to avoid is the looking back in regret thing. As I sat there looking around the bar last night I realized that should I ever be compelled to leave I would really miss my life here. That’s why I want to focus on appreciating it in the here and now.
When I think back on my Korea life I realize I was too wrapped up in the baggage of my heartbreak to embrace the blessings that filled my life there. I look at photos from my year in Pyeongtaek and it all looks so wonderful now. And yet I was miserable or at least thought I was, and couldn’t wait to leave. Last night was a reminder to not allow myself to make that mistake again.
On the flip side of that coin, perhaps I’ve been idealizing my life with Jee Yeun. I was comfortable with the choices I made and was committed to making that marriage work. I thought it was a good life. But for reasons I will never understand, Jee Yeun wasn’t happy and threw it all away. Now we’ve been apart almost as long as we were together and I guess even if I don’t have peace of mind, I’ve gained perspective. I was fat, lazy, and likely headed towards an early grave. I’m healthier now and my life is certainly more interesting. Yeah, I miss the love, but what did that get me other than a broken heart?
Sorry for this detour into my jumbled brain. Bottom line is that I’m mostly looking forward, not back now. I try and appreciate each day for what it is and I’m happy for the life I have here. Maybe at the ripe old age of 65, I’m finally starting to get it right.
Let’s move on now, shall we?
And let’s cleanse the palate with this gem:
Well, it’s all good here with me. Good enough anyway. Back tomorrow with some hiking pics. Much nicer than seeing what’s in my head!
“There’s no time to lose,” I heard her say
“Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind
Ain’t life unkind?”
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I’m gonna miss you
For what it’s worth, I think it’s good to see you embracing contentment.
And now, I’m wondering what sort of soup you could make with that snake.
And I thought your musical link would have been in homage of your shopping trip, the Stones, “You Cant Always Get What You Want” (but if you try sometime, well, you might find, you get what you need)
Actually, thinking about it, the words would fit your life also. May not get exactly what you want, but you are getting what you need. LOL
Sorry, Kev. I don’t like spiders and snakes. No soup for me!
Good one, Brian. I love it when my readers pick better theme songs than I do! I need to up my game!
You should check out coach Greg Adams on youtube and study the red pill/mgtow philosophy !
Thanks for the tip on Greg Adams, Harry. I’ll check it out.
What’s the 411 on “mama”? Any family? Do they have soup kitchens or homeless shelters in the PI? Not to downplay her sad situation but at least she doesn’t have to deal with the bitter cold as some homeless do here in the States. Peace Out!
As far as I know, she has no family. The story I’m told is that many years ago she worked in a long-gone girly bar called Kinky’s. She’s kind of an icon around town, referred to as the “umbrella lady”. No, there are no shelters or soup kitchens around here but individuals will sometimes organize food handout days. I know of a couple of others who give mama money on a regular basis too.
I had considered looking for a cheap accommodation for mama but I honestly don’t think she would stay there. It appears she enjoys her life on the street. She has some regular spots where she rests and sleeps, she told me she bathes in the bay, and I see her walking all over. She has nothing but she always has a smile. That’s more than some rich people can claim.
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