So, is it a matter of establishing a pattern and rhythm to your life, or is it simply a case of falling into a rut? I guess it’s like the old saw asking whether you are ignorant or apathetic–I don’t know and I don’t care!
That’s what passes for deep thinking in my addled brain these days. I skipped darts last night preferring to take my comfort in the aptly named It Doesn’t Matter bar. After I had consumed my fill of beer, I remembered that it was Wednesday and that means bringing home some Korean-style wings. The only problem was I had plopped two slabs of baby back ribs in the crockpot earlier in the day. Well, damn it to hell, but I have established a pattern (or fallen into a rut), and Wednesday is wing night. The ribs will make a fine meal tonight!
I think I mentioned my Dutch friend, Max, in a recent post. He has tested positive for COVID and is currently self-quarantining at home. Max sent me a link to an article with an interview he conducted. Pretty interesting, give it a read if you are so inclined.
This morning I went out and had an onsite look at the house I mentioned in yesterday’s post. I can’t say much about the quality of the neighborhood in general, but…
The house is okay, but the comments on yesterday’s post ring true. It would definitely be a big step down. The view consists of the barbed wire topped wall surrounding the house. It kind of had a prison-like feel about it. If I had lived there first I probably wouldn’t have known the difference, but now I’d miss what I have too much.
I’ll keep looking, but I’m not really keen on leaving Alta Vista. There are a couple of places available that are better than what I saw today, but not as good as what I have. The one has an apartment upstairs and the residents there are also Hashers. According to them, dogs are not allowed. According to the leasing agent, I can have my dogs with me there. So, you can imagine the potential for conflict that creates. I don’t need the drama in my life. Could be I’ll wind up staying here, although I won’t sign a three-year lease again.
So, that leaves my report from yesterday’s Wednesday Walkers group hike. Five of us in attendance and we did a mostly flat trek of just under 10K. It was familiar terrain but nice because a lot of it was in areas we hadn’t ventured to recently. It was also mostly populated with villages and shanty-towns, so it was good to be out amongst the friendly locals too. The pictures (again, hat tip to Scott for most of these) tell the story of our jaunt better than I can,
A good day and a good hike. Stick around and we’ll see what happens next. Will you detect a pattern or a rut?
Inquiring minds wanna know: homemade quesadilla???
They’re not that hard to make. The easier “cheat” method is to use a large tortilla that you then fold in half. German chef Wolfgang Puck, who’s about as Mexican as I am, offers a further trick: paint the outer sides of each tortilla with mayonnaise. This sounds weird at first, but mayo is mostly oil and a bit of egg (with a splash of vinegar), which means it’s great for frying and browning your tortilla nicely. The “cheat” method also makes it much easier to flip your quesadilla when the time comes. If you follow the harder “two tortillas” method of quesadilla-making, it’s a bit of an acrobatic stunt to try and flip the damn thing without having it fly apart.
I see that the house-hunting continues. Well, you know what qualities you want in a domicile, and you have a better idea of what’s fair, rent-wise, so I assume you’re a much wiser shopper now. As for feeling cheated… it occurs to me that there’s a bit of a conundrum: once you discovered you’d been paying a high rent for three years, did that upset you more or less than your landlord/landlady’s current bid to raise your rent? To me, it seems that the real reason to move out isn’t the current bid to jack up the rent—it’s the fact that you’ve been grifted for three years already. So this becomes a value judgment: you’ve tolerated being pissed on for a long time, so what’s a little more piss?
I saw that other commenters suggested being a hardass when renegotiating your new rental contract. I agree. Maybe go for a five-year contract with a written guarantee that rent WILL NOT be raised during the contract period. Whether you begin that period at a higher rent is up to you. What’s your piss tolerance level? Anyway, good luck as you continue searching. I have a feeling, though, that a “foreigner’s tax,” as you put it, is unavoidable if you’re looking for a home that matches your standards.
Um, about that “homemade” quesadilla…this is me we are talking about. Your method sounds great and I might actually try it sometime. My current method involves two tortillas with shredded cheese between them. And a microwave. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that.
Yes, I’m keeping my eyes open for potential rentals, but I’m accepting the fact that my current digs may be my best option overall. Overpaying when I signed that lease 3 years ago is on me, so lesson learned. I’ve accepted it without much anger or remorse. The unjustified raising of that already high rent seems like gouging to me though, and that’s what makes me angry.
The landlord intends to add a provision to the lease that specifically allows a 5% annual increase. There’s actually a law that gives property owners this right. I pointed out that being allowed to do something doesn’t make it required. He responded that they “need” to raise the rent. Anyway, if I wind up staying here I won’t do more than a one-year lease. I can afford this house now, but should the dollar tank, maybe not so much.
It the rent is so high, how is difficult to get a similar house for a cheaper price? I know, the rumors are that the Philippines doesn’t really work with the laws of demand or supply; but in your pictures there always seem to be big houses in your neighborhood. And I am guessing that with the pandemic there won’t be too many rich folk willing or able to take a house for rent there. But then again, laws of demand and supply.
Like all the others, I think you’re just stalling because of the inconvenience of moving. But then again, moving takes just the one day and the rest of the first month you would be buying furniture and other bits for the new house.
I suspect your reluctance is 2-fold: You really like the place you have because it is the best for your comfort level and you really can afford it. That the other expats there are shocked that you pay almost a thousand dollars per month just shows your and their priorities. Where they have alimony or other financial demands on their limited incomes, you have a relative largess that you have amassed over your working years and you are blessed to have offspring so successful that there is scant a thought of them ever needing a financial boost from you. Take a bow , Sir. You did well in this life. I say, enjoy the benefits. As they say in these parts, you can’t take it with you. That is the literal definition of retirement. Enjoying the amassed fruits of your labor.
On a tangent, you wrote a lot about happiness and joy and the sameness of your daily routines., You may get bored of it from time to time, but that’s to be expected. I recently read that ‘happiness comes from solving problems.” Having problems does not in itself bring happiness, but constantly solving newer and better problems is the source of life itself. I dare say that is why some people have been known to create problems when their lives seemed so perfect.
Of course, not all problems are created equal. Elon Musk’s problems are significantly better than mine. But if Elon Musk ever solved all his problems, then he would be the richest miserable prick in the world. That is why it is important to allow ourselves, almost as if by design, to have problems that are challenging and constantly evolving so that we never run out of problems to solve. Of course, the actual happiness comes from solving problems that we enjoy solving. That is a bit of a mouthful.
You said yourself that you no longer have lofty career aspirations, and no boardroom meetings to attend. Yet now you are an employer to at least 2 people and responsible in part to their lives and welfare. But more than that, you have adopted friends,acquaintances and lovers that have problems that you have been able to assist in solving. I am sorry that you don’t feel quite as happy in solving those problems yet, mainly because most of them are not actually your problems to solve but you’re participating as an assistant and/or life coach. Since those are other people’s problems, they may not necessarily have your same values and approach to those problems and your solutions are vastly different.
Thanks for reading this far.
And now , my solution to what you may sometimes as a lack of happiness(= lack of good evolving problems to solve): Adopt a project; a youngster. You have tried this before with not much success. As I recall, more than the lack of motivation from the youngster to pursue higher education and accept your guidance; the failure was also on your part in getting a bit entangled when defining what exactly what your role and goal was in supporting a student’s education journey.
In practical terms, you adopt a project but completely separate the emotional connection. They’re not your child, and they probably will never see you as a father figure so you shouldn’t go looking for that either. Instead , it’s just a numbers game. Adopt 3 or 4 and sponsor their textbooks or pencils and encourage them to keep studying as much as possible. Laptops or rent would cost too much and inevitably bring you emotional turmoil if they fail, so something smaller and cheaper like your candy runs would work. I don’t think you put as much emotional value if a child refuses your candy on one of your walks, or if you forget to bring some. It’s a small gesture, but a small problem worth solving. Good news is; students always need a new book or a new pencil, and with a clear boundary of what you are offering you should be able to constantly find problems to solve.
Of course, it goes without saying that you shouldn’t fall in love with any of the ladies involved (the college students), that is a separate issue which I think you have tried to finagle with your current and previous lady friends. Spreading Joy works wonders when you’re clear what problems (your own problems) you are solving. It helps that your, ahem, problems are regular and the need on the other side is not unlimited either. But you need to remember that you are solving your own problem (however you define it), and she is just part of the solution. And she is solving her own problems;; whether she enjoys solving that problem is her own problem.
I hope all that makes sense.
We are all taught to have goals. But the problem is that most of our goals(or values) are finite and dead-ended. A big house and a car, 2.5 kids and a picket fence. What happens when we achieve those goals , and thereby finish solving virtually all our problems? Well, hello midlife crisis. Incidentally, it works out the same when we come to an age when we should’ve achieved those goals but we failed; because the goals and problems are static we just come to a standstill. Luckily you achieved your own goals, and even after the failure of one of those ( or shall I say 3?) , you were fortunate or smart enough not to create a set of new problems that you would spend the latter part of your life solving.
Rather than creating problems to solve, it is much better to find problems that already exist and set out to solve them, one at a time in a somewhat sequential manner. You’ll be so busy that when the Good Lawd comes calling you’ll be too consumed in your solving problems you enjoy that they’ll say ‘he went with a smile on his face”.
As far as I am concerned, you are living the good life
tl,dr: Happiness comes from solving challenging evolving problems that we enjoy solving.
That street name is God telling you to stay put. The next place you inquire about will be probably be called Hereisshitcomparedtowhereyouarenow Avenue. Love that bar name.
James, thanks so much for the thoughtful comment. I have no problem with your take on solving problems! đŸ™‚
You are right, the laws of supply and demand don’t seem to be applicable to the Filipino way of doing business. One Hasher I know moved out of his house several years ago over a rent increase dispute with his landlord. We laugh when we walk by the still-vacant house with the “for rent” sign out front. Similarly, my house was vacant for years before I signed a long-term lease. That the owner seems to be willing to let me go over a 5% rent increase seems ridiculous to me. Oh well.
You know, I like the idea of problem-solving as a route to happiness, especially if they are not MY problems. I have also thought that finding a student to sponsor would bring a lot of satisfaction because that’s actually making a difference in someone’s life. But finding the right person for that kind of project will take some time and effort. Of course, schools are all still closed here, so doing the little things, for now, will have to suffice.
As I was reading your comment, I couldn’t help but think about the whole “Sugar Daddy” concept. Yeah, there is a different kind of satisfaction in that approach, but as you say, separating the quid pro quo from my problem-solving crusade will be more meaningful in the long run. I’ll have to work on that.
I’ll do an update soon on how my “spreading Joy” is working out. So far it’s not been a problem, but I’m starting to have my doubts about the long-term viability of my “friends with benefits” concept.
Again, thank you for your comment, lots of food for thought. Much appreciated!
Dan, you might be right. I just talked to an acquaintance who lives around the corner from that house I looked at on Abad street. They got burgled for the second time this year a couple of days ago. I’ve got my house pretty much secured now, at least enough where I don’t worry about it.