A Frenchman a-sits in the loo
with some shit perched atop o’ his shoe
he craps; his teeth gnash
and the feces doth splash
in the end, he be proud of his poo
—Kevin Kim
In a first in the long and storied history of LTG, an original Hash-style poem, written by fellow blogger and friend Kevin Kim. See the comments on this post for the provenance of the poem, written in and translated from the original French. It seems like an appropriate way to kick off this week’s Hash House Harrier report, don’t you think?
Trails and Travails.
As is our custom, we loaded up in the Hashmobile and were driven a goodly distance out to downtown Subic where we commenced our hike.
And we are ON-ON!
Wherever I may be on-trail I try and appreciate the scenery. *ahem*
Over the river and to the woods we go!
I’m sure this lad must have found a troop of mostly foreigners marching by a little fishy…
Leaving the world of pavement behind…
Always amazed at the folks who live life truly off the grid. And I complain about not having running water (and I still DON”T have water by the way).
I’d check periodically to make sure I wasn’t bringing up the rear. Didn’t want to be left alone on trail again this week…
All’s clear on the way ahead…
Followed the creek bed and didn’t have a paddle….
….but I did have my walking stick. Which I needed as the ascent was particularly steep this week. At one point I grabbed onto a tree trunk to get my balance only to discover the bark was covered with tiny stickers. “Watch out for the bark on those” I was belatedly advised. Damn things would not wash out in the creek water either. Finally used my hanky to wipe them away. Bastards!
The view from the top. Way off in the distance is Alta Vista, my subdivision.
Now, before we departed the Hare had advised that the descent was going to be steep and muddy. He suggested we find a stick to use if we hadn’t brought one. One of the Hashers actually bailed at this point. I was thinking on the way down that he might have made the right call. I was on my ass twice and in danger of toppling over several other times. One of my slips caused a mini-landslide and the two Hashers behind me came down with it.
The look of satisfaction on my face after reaching the bottom of the mountain with no damage other than the mud on my ass.
After that it was clear sailing (well, hiking) as we were on relatively flat ground for the longish remainder of the Hash…
On the home stretch along the paved banks of the Matain river.
LIfe on the riverside….heh, I’ve seen much worse.
On-Home was at Treasure Island this week. One of my favorite venues in town. Treated myself to the some orange chicken and some grilled wings. Life is good, glad I didn’t lose mine on trail!
The Hash Circle commenced and as is the custom, we were asked to rate the trail. I said it was perfect for a mountain goat. And then while the Hares sat bare assed on the ice block we honored them with with the traditional Hash song:
(sung to the Mickey Mouse Club theme)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail (It sucked)
Shitty trail (really fucked)
The Hare’s have laid another shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer than hash your shitty trail,
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Later on I was compelled to spend some time on ice for my two Hash Crashes. The guys who fell with me also joined me on the ice. One of them suggested that the Hares also take another cold seat since they had laid an impossible trail down the mountain. And finally I was given recognition for achieving double digit status (11 Hashes already!) with the Subic Bay Hash House Harries (SB H-3).
Then the circle closed with our going away song:
(there’s a bunch of pantomimes we do as we sing, but I can’t be fucked with describing them right now)
Swing low, sweet cherry ass,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
Swing low, sweet cherry ass,
Cumin’ four two carry me home.
I looked over Jordan,
And what did I see-ee,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
A band of An-gels,
Cumin’ after me-ee,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
If you get there be-four I doo,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
Tell all my friends I’m cumin’ twoo,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
Yes, I know. I know. But it’s a Hash tradition. Don’t be a hater!
I worry, sometimes, about how safe these trails are. Do you feel safe doing them? I’d probably be too much of a pussy to become a Hasher.
Most of the time I feel safe. I enjoy seeing parts of the countryside I’d never otherwise visit. And with a group of folks I feel like someone has my back if something goes wrong.
But yeah, every trail seems to have it’s moments of diceyness. Extra caution seems to suffice, I guess until it doesn’t. I asked early on if anyone had ever been seriously hurt (the potential is clearly there) and was told “not yet”. Then again, crossing the damn highway everyday is probably every bit as dangerous.
Bottom line, as long as I’m not on my own and keep my wits about me (i.e. I never drink before the hash) I should be okay. Bad luck can always happen anywhere or at anytime. I just hope for the best.